Stephen B. Bagley's Blog, page 8

What Did You Say?

Sometimes you're listening to a person and your mind wanders off because they're blah blah blah and your mind has traveled to 23rd century Mars or maybe to an alternative 18th century England where they have armored blimps...AND THEN you realize they're expecting a response from you and you have NO idea what they were saying and maybe they asked you to do something you absolutely DO NOT want to do, but you don't want to reveal you weren't listening so you yell, "Fire! FIRE!" and run away! 

And when  I say "you," I mean "me." 

Karmic

I did a good thing. I stepped outside briefly, and three mosquitoes landed on me. I did the noble thing and helped them back into the Karmic circle of life so that they can be reborn as a higher life form on their journey to Nirvana. 

Yeah, I squashed them. 

Progress

I made it through today without hitting anyone stupid with a chair. Not even one person! I think it's obvious that my people skills are improving. 

My therapist will be so pleased when he gets back from his breakdown. 

Signs

There are always ways you can tell a relationship is over: They move, they get a protective order, they spray you with bacon and drop you in a wilderness filled with wolves, etc. 

These are all subtle signs that the ardor has become an odor. 

Worthy

 Preaching to Myself—and to You: There are always going to be people who are mean to you, who don't respect you, who try to put you in your place. But listen, you are not what they say. The universe doesn't care about their words. Their self-righteous mouthing is nothing but background noise, lost in the static between the stars.
Remember my personal motto: "You can put me in my place, but I won't stay there."
Pick yourself up, take a long drink of defiance, nourish yourself with the Words of the One who loves you best, and face your life with joyous determination.
You are worthy.
You are worthy.
You are worthy.
Shout “Amen!”

Inflation?

 Little Johnny listens to his grandmother as she complains about the high cost of living. 

“When I was young,” she says, “you could go to the store with just a dollar and come home with enough food to feed your family for a week!” 

“Well, Grandma,” Little Johnny says, "that's called inflation. We learned about it in school.” 

“Inflation nothing!” Grandma snaps. “It’s all these dang security cameras they’ve got today!” 

Oughta

I should be doing a couple of more things—I have been productive the last couple of days—but I want to play World of Warcraft or watch more of Death in Paradise or read a book. I hope my productivity isn't waning. Or perhaps I'm too far away from my morning coffee. 

Plants and politicians

I've been having to bring my plants in at night because they don't like cold weather. It's a pain in the pot.

You know, there's a lot to be said for silk plants. They don't shed, and when you get tired of them, you can throw them away and not feel like you're killing anything. In that way, they're a lot like politicians. 

Ordinary Wisdom #7

Ordinary Wisdom: It may be impossible for us to love everyone—we're not God—and it may be impossible to like everyone—we're not Oprah—but surely we can at least be kind to each other. Kindness to everyone would go a long way to making this world a decent place to live in. Except for that black truck that ran the stoplight and nearly hit me; it would be hard to be kind to the driver who was probably drinking as he sent naughty messages on his cellphone and ate a double cheeseburger with fries, but I would try.

I would.
Maybe.

Prosateurs Books: Inspiration & Poetry

Inspirational

Tales from Bethlehem 
by Stephen B. Bagley
You've heard the story a thousand times: glorious angels, lowly shepherds, brightly shining star, three Wise Men, and wee babe in a manger. But have you ever wondered about everyone else in tiny Bethlehem on that marvel of nights? What did they think? What did they do? How would you have responded? In these funny and touching tales, you'll meet a stable boy, a serving girl, an honest spy, an astounding clerk, an empty innkeeper, a mighty ship of the desert, and many others as they share their amazing Tales from Bethlehem.
Buy on Amazon!

Poetry
Undying 
by Stephen B. Bagley & Gail Henderson
Enjoy a good shiver on a moonlit night with these thrilling, chilling poems. Oklahoma poets and authors Stephen B. Bagley and Gail Henderson share a sometimes darkly humorous look at the creatures of the ever night, mythical and otherwise. You'll meet a vampire who definitely doesn't sparkle, a werewolf who chooses freedom, gods, and goddesses who are all too human, brave astronauts and greedy planet jumpers, and down-to-earth monsters who may live next door. You'll learn what happens to a modern-day Dr. Frankenstein after he creates the perfect woman, why it's better to refuse that crimson invitation, and the sorrow that stalks us even when the sky is bright and the clouds few. You might even discover the creature that goes bump in the night is actually you.
Buy on Amazon!