Emily M. DeArdo's Blog, page 13

Meeting Miss Maddie

My parents and I just got back from Colorado, where we finally got to meet Miss Maddie!

Let me tell you, it was a lot of love.

She smiles. A lot.

She ponders which key to hit!

I know I have a really large bias here, being her aunt and all, but I have to say that Maddie is just precious. She’s so alert! You can almost see the wheels turning in her head when she’s trying to figure something out (like rolling over—so close!). When she met us for the first time, you could tell she thought we were familiar, but here we were in person, not in a little screen!

Maddie checking us out for the first time.

I am so glad we were able to go visit, and also glad that things like FAceTime are available. I honestly don’t know how people did it back in the day. Think about the beginning of Little House on the Prairie. Caroline and Charles’ parents never saw Grace. They never saw their children and grand-children again after they left. Of course they had letters, but that’s not the same. At least I can see and talk to Maddie and she can talk to me! (And my sister and brother-in-law, of course!) It makes distance somewhat more bearable.

Madeleine was baptized on Saturday at their parish:

And she was a very good girl through it, even if she did have a bottle right before Mass started and um, spit some of that back up before we got to the font. :) But it was OK she was a champ during the actual baptism itself. She didn’t seem to like the baptismal garment very much, although it was very pretty! She kept tugging at it.

Maddie also has a very cute habit of only wearing one sock/one shoe and getting rid of the others. It’s very Cinderella. (As you can see in the photo at the top of the post.) Apparently she only needs one sock or one shoe, the other foot can go bare, it’s fine.

She also likes to feed herself!

I got this, Aunt Em.

But feeding her and reading to her is awfully fun.

And she is, indeed, my little sunshine.

I will definitely miss being greeted like this

And I’ll miss seeing my sister and brother in law every day.
And cuddling Maddie.

And playing on the floor.

I’m not sure when the next time we’ll see them will be. I hope it’s soon.

Until then, I’ll just keep looking at the pictures my sister sends, and sending her cute clothes and books. :)

Maddie: Four months!

May the Fourth Be With You!

Maddie is four months old today! And she’s being baptized on Saturday! Yayyyy! (Her baptism outfit is so cute. I can’t wait to show you.)

Here’s the monthly update:

LIKES/SKILLS:

Cooing and laughing! She likes to talk!

Two teeth are coming in

rolls front to back and almost back to front

loves tummy time (this is a change from HATING TUMMY TIME!)

Holds her own bottle!

Fishy is her new buddy

Fishy

her chews life rosary!

Caterpillar chair (this thing is AWESOME)

front facing stroller

Duke, their dog (she smiles/laughs whenever she sees him!)

She LOVES being sung to and tries to sing back!

Loves reading, especially Chicka Chicka Boom Boom

Looking in the mirror and smiling when she sees hreself

Outdoor swing!

“The Olympics”—mat time. I call it “Maddie Disneyland”:

Find the baby!

Hates:

Putting her arms in sleeves!

Being hungry (I feel ya, Maddie)

When you don’t let her hold the bottle…..but then she gets mad when it falls out of her mouth!

Monthly photos:

One month

Two months

Three months

Four months!

Why the Best Narnia Book is Voyage of the Dawn Treader

It’s mostly because of Reepicheep.

Why is a talking mouse so important? You can read my essay over at Mere Orthodoxy:

Clearly, Voyage of the Dawn Treader is the best of the Narnia novels, and a big part of that is due to a talking mouse.

Yes. I’m talking about Reepicheep, the brave, swashbuckling Narnian mouse who is on a quest to find Aslan’s country (and defend the honor of the Kings and Queens of Narnia while he’s at it.).

Sure, a lot of things happen in Voyage that also give it the claim to being the best novel, the discussion of science and modernism versus tradition and religion (although religion and science aren’t actually at loggerheads), Eustace’s Pauline conversion, the growth of Lucy, Edmund, and Caspian, and of course the quest to find the seven lost Narnian lords, which gives the entire book its shape. All of these things add up to a tightly plotted and fast moving adventure. But I think that the reason it’s the best isn’t just Reepicheep, but what he and the other characters go through in the novel, which is growing up and becoming adult Christians.

In Voyage, the things that stop our heroes and heroines are themselves, which is true in our own lives. 

Read the rest here.

A Truly Massive Birthday Yarn Along!

In the words of an Eva Cassidy song, “People get ready”—there’s a lot of yarn and books to discuss!

For my birthday, I received a lot of books and yarn gift cards/money I used on yarn. Since it was a milestone birthday I definitely was spoiled! I can’t wait to walk you through the goodness.

The yarn you see above was bought with some birthday money. It’s La Bien Aimee’s cashmerino yarn, all the way from Paris! Aimee, the owner, is known throughout the yarn world for her amazing colors and yarns, and I was so glad to be able to finally get my hands on some of it. From left to right, the colors are: Nymeria, Hegelia, and Winterfell. Knitting with it is a delight! I’m turning the yarn into this project.

I love blue, but I don’t actually have a “plainer” blue lightweight shawl or wrap, and that’s something I definitely need in my wardrobe, so this is a good addition to my knitted accessories repertoire. (By “plainer” I mean, one that’s mostly shades of blue and isn’t knit up with other wilder/brighter colors or mixes and that is also lightweight. I do have a shawl that is mostly blue and gray, but it’s a sport weight so it’s a little heavier than what I’m currently knitting up.)

Onto the next batch of yarn! Behold!

Wanna talk wild colors? We got your wild colors right here!

This is more La Bien Aimee yarn, but this time I got it from a US store, so I didn’t have to pay shipping and I could pay in dollars, not euros! Yay! :)

Knit Stars is both a knitting masterclass series and a yarn store in Tulsa, OK. Every Spring and Fall they rearrange their “hot loops” wall, which is a bunch of projects and yarn they’re featuring that particular season. This spring, knitter and designer Gaye Glasspie (aka, GG, aka, the Iconic Orange Lady) designed the wall and picked the projects. So obviously orange figured in a BIG way.

At first I wasn’t sure about this because….orange is not really a color I use. My friend Andrea loves orange. But I am not really much of an orange person.

However I did want more LBA yarn….

And these flowers arrived on my birthday, which was also the same day as the Spring Hot Loops wall reveal:

Hmmmmmmmmm. That’s a lot of orange! And bright pink! And purple!

And the yarn could capture these flowers and I could have a shawl that would echo these flowers and pay homage to a special birthday……

BINGO.
So I’m making my second Find Your Fade shawl using these colors, which is the LBA Merino Aran base. (You can get it at KnitStars here) My Ravelry notes are here. The shawl is originally designed for a fingering weight yarn, and I’ve obviously bumped it up several thicknesses to an Aran base, but I’m using the same yardage amounts (which means I’ll need to order more of some of these colors). I’m also only doing one lace repeat per color, which is also what I did with my original Find Your Fade. (This is a shawl that can be huge.)

Here are the colors in the order I’ll be using them in the shawl, starting at the bottom (blue) and working up:

From bottom: Hegelia, Winter Garden, Sari, Fiori, RGO, Le Littoral

I just couldn’t wait to start….so I didn’t….and I’ve finished two colors (Hegelia and Winter Garden) and moved on to the third (Sari)! I am seriously obsessed with this project.

Sari comes in…

Whew! I love it! And I’m still working on a baby blanket for Miss Alice and I’m about to start the sleeves on my Ursina! Hopefully I’ll have some finished objects to show you in May!

Now let’s talk books.

I got a lot of book gift cards for my birthday so I, of course, got a lot of books with them. There are so many that I think I might share them with you over the coming weeks (and Yarn Alongs!). So let’s take the first four: (yes, FOUR!)

Time for Tea* is in the first photo. This is from Fortnum and Mason, the big food emporium in London. If you’ve been reading here for awhile, you know that I love tea! So this book discusses the history of tea, types of tea, hat tea is best for various occasions, and also, recipes for tea time! It’s gorgeously produced and its cover is Fortnum and Mason’s signature “eau-de-nil” color.

The second book, which is perched on the shawl above, is Queens of the Conquest: England’s Medieval Queens.* You should also know, if you’re a longtime reader, that I am an anglophile. A big one. :) My friend Amilia got me this book, because we both share a love of British history. Weir has written many, many books about British royalty—both fiction and nonfiction—and this is the first in a series that will look at England’s early queens. I really loved this book and I loved taking notes and adding to my research files, because, yes, I do research files for fun, because I am a nerd! The second book in the series is Queens of the Crusades: England’s Medieval Queens*, which I need to read next!

I also just finished All The Queen’s Men*, which was another birthday book. I actually got the first book in the series, The Windsor Knot*, too. The books revolve around the premises that Queen Elizabeth II isn’t just queen—she’s also. sleuth who has been solving mysteries since her father, George VI, was on the throne. with the help of her Assistant Private Secretary, Rozie, and a retired member of her protection detail, she cracks the case of a murdered pianist in the first book, and a murdered housekeeper in the second.

This installment definitely has a British flavor, doesn’t it? I didn’t just get books about England for my birthday, I promise. I’ll share the rest of them soon!

Forty

I’m forty.

I wasn’t supposed to be forty. This was a birthday I was never supposed to see.

When I was diagnosed with CF, the average life expectancy was mid-thirties. Then I almost died at nineteen.

If my organ donor, Suzanne, hadn’t made the decision to donate her organs, I’d have died at twenty-three.

But she did. And seventeen years later, I’m forty.

FORTY.

Unlike a lot of people, I don’t dread my birthdays. I celebrate them with full vigor, and this one, especially, was celebrated to the hilt.

My door was decorated by my brother Bryan and my sister-in-law, Sarah.

They also sent me a truly stupendous bouquet of flowers.

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That night, my parents hosted a party for me at a local restaurant. We had a private room!

I did the name cards!

(Sarris chocolate is my favorite chocolate in life. It’s a Pittsburgh-based chocolate company and I’ve been eating it since I’ve been old enough to have teeth. My grandma used to have little bowls of their foil wrapped Easter egg chocolates in her house and I loved to eat them. So I thought they’d be a sweet treat for our guests!)

Some of my favorite people were there…..

Amilia came all the way from Illinois for the party!

Tiffany and Bill were there! (Alice was with her grandparents.)

Mary was there!

If you’re read Living Memento Mori, then you know about Rita, one of my favorite nurses—she was at the party!

And my brother and SIL were there too!

It was a fabulous party—it went on for four hours, which didn’t seem quite possible.

It was, simply, way too much fun.

Suzanne made all of this possible. She makes my writing this possible.

If you’re not an organ donor, please consider it. You can sign up online here.

Maddie is Three Months Old!

Yay, Maddie! :)

She is the sweetest baby I have ever seen, and she’s so happy! She loves her little morning chats with Melanie. :)

(Here she is at two months and here’s one month)

Here’s the low down on Miss Maddie at three months old

LIKES:

—pacifier (Longhorn buddy, also Elephant buddy, also plain pacifiers!)

—Food, but WARM FOOD, thank you very much.

—reading! She and mommy have reading time now.

—people. People. More people. Did I mention people?

—Her swing and her play gym.

—music

—Duke the dog!

—going to church

—going places in general

—her carrier (Patty also REALLY likes her carrier)

—smiling is her favorite!

—talking. Apparently she has a lot to say!

DISLIKES:

—napping alone in her crib

—the cold milk dislike continues

—being cold

—being bored!

—having a messy/wet diaper

—not being able to see people (see people person, above)

—gas! poor baby!

I can’t believe how much she’s grown in the past month. I mean look at this:

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She just keeps getting cuter, as evidenced below:

Her dad went to UT, hence the Longhorn gear. :)

Being a "disabled writer"

violets in my yard

The other day on IG I saw someone asking if there were more Catholics who spoke about disability issues or accounts that focused on disability and faith.

Now, this, in and of itself, is not a bad thing but it got me thinking, which got me writing.

I am “disabled”. I put that word in quotes because I don’t really think of myself as disabled apart from my hearing loss. This is something that I’ve noticed, that the range of disability—and who considers themselves disabled—is wide.

And that’s the same as my interests. Like Elizabeth Bennet, “I take pleasure in many things.” I don’t just write about disability and faith, or just disability, or just faith! Taking a quick scan of my blog posts and IG feed, you’ll see babies (ok, lots of babies), knitting, flowers, food, paintings, books, games….all sorts of things. I’m interested in a lot of things, and that’s what I write about. Obviously I am also interested in writing about health because my health is a big part of my life. I do advocate for accommodation. (Here are all my posts with the disability tag)

But I’m never going to start a conversation with “Hi, I’m disabled.” I don’t start by telling people I have CF or I had a transplant or I’m hearing impaired. The latter does tend to come up earlier than usual when I talk to people because, well, it’s sort of urgent if I can’t understand you.

Everyone handles disability or illness in a different way, but don’t expect us to just talk about those things. Some people do—that’s what they feel called to do. But if I just wrote about my disabilities I’d be bored stiff and so would you! I’d run out of things to talk about!

I like to talk about knitting and Maddie and Patty and travel and cooking and TV shows and movies (and speaking of hearing impaired-ness and movies, go CODA!). Don’t just see the disability. See the person behind it.

And also, at the same time, don’t think that we’re exceptionally “brave” or “strong” people because we live with a disability. Seriously. I’m not a saint (ask anyone who knows me, not a saint definitely not). We’re people doing the best we can with the life we have. That’s all.

Reader Q&A!

I had a really good question from a reader recently:

What’s the difference between memento mori and the Mexican “days of the dead”?

Now, I am not, at all, Hispanic. I have zero Spanish/Latino heritage in my family. (We’re Italian, German, and Scottish.) So this is based on some light research. If you are Hispanic, please feel free to chime in and let me know where I’m wrong!)

Memento mori is an ancient practice—it actually predates Christianity, with most records saying that it was common in Ancient Rome. But Christianity definitely picked up the practice, incorporating it into art, accessories, and architecture.

Santa Maria della Concezione dei Cappuccini in Rome—yes, those are real skulls. And yes, you can visit!

Another part of the church.

In art, you’ll see a memento mori—usually a skull:

Caravaggio, “St. Jerome Writing”, 1605-1606

On of El Greco’s Magdalenes—see the skull on the right?

Mary, Queen of Scots, even had a memento mori watch:

And you can even get memento mori watches today!

For Christians, memento mori is about remembering where we’re headed after this life, because we know that this life isn’t all there is. Our actions prepare us for heaven, hell, or purgatory. Our choices determine our afterlife—so choose wisely! In a less, I suppose, “morbid” way, we can talk about using the fact of our death to decide how we’ll live today.

As you can see, in art, it’s mostly simply a skull, or bones. It’s not decorated in any sense—it’s just a skull.

Now, if you look at dia de los muertos art, the first thing you see is COLOR, from the vibrancy of the marigolds to the creative sugar skulls, and even in the makeup.

A woman depicting “La Catrina”

An ofrenda

And while memento mori is something that you can do every day, the official day of the dead festival runs from Nov. 1 to Nov. 2—which in the Catholic calendar is All Saints’ and All Souls’ Day. The point of dia de los muertos is to remember family members who have died. Ofrendas (“offerings”, as seen in the photo above) are left for the departed—their favorite food and drink, photos of the deceased, and the beautiful marigold flowers are often there.

The sugar skull (“calavera”) is a big part of the celebrations and actually dates back to prehistoric times. The color has a purpose:

The reason a holiday revolving around death is so full of color instead of being gloomy and gray is because we celebrate the lives led by those who are now gone. It’s not simply a day about mourning our loved ones and telling stories of them around their tombstones in the cemetery and our altars; it’s a day about remembering their lives and the impact they had upon us, as well as keeping in mind that just because they’re no longer with us doesn’t mean that they’re entirely gone, because we keep them alive in our hearts and memories.

https://dayofthedead.holiday/sugar-skull/the-meaning-and-importance-of-sugar-skulls (accessed March 22, 2022)

So the Day of the Dead is about remembering and celebrating those who have gone before, and also to appreciate the live that we have right now, since we will soon be on ofrendas or buried in the local churchyard.

The two concepts are linked by the same idea—that life is fleeting, and we have only today.

(If you haven’t seen the movie Coco*, definitely do that—it’s all about Dia de los Muertos!)

Oscars 2021: CODA

Of all the best picture nominees, this one I probably the most interesting to me. CODA stands for “Child of Deaf Adults” , and is the story of Ruby Rossi (Emilia Jones), the only hearing person in her family, who has a passion for music. She’s torn between pursuing her love of music or abandoning her parents—her father is a fisherman, and eventually they’re busted by the Coast Guard for not having a hearing deckhand on board. Does Ruby give up her dream of music school to stay and help her family?

(Other reviews in this series: West Side Story, The Power of the Dog, King Richard, Belfast, Dune)

CODA has been nominated for three Oscars: best picture, best performance by an actor in a supporting role, and best adapted screen play (Of the big five oscars, we have three nominations. Not bad!) It’s rated PG-13.

I was really worried about this one—I didn’t think I’d like it. I loved it. It’s so good and deals with so many issues around deafness, but also family!

Ruby’s parents are pretty isolated. At one point, Ruby’s mom, Jackie (Marlee Matlin) talks about how they have their own Deaf community, to which Ruby replies, “Who, your deaf friends? You see them once a month.” And that’s a real issue for her family. Even though her father, Frank (Troy Kotsur) is part of a family that’s been fishing in Gloucester, MA, for generations, he’s not “buddy buddy” with the fisherman. His son, Leo (Daniel Durant), who is also Ruby’s older brother, tries, but it’s hard because there’s no one to interpret for him, and reading lips only gets you so far. (This is illustrated perfectly in a scene where Leo goes to get a beer with the other fishermen, and he just sits at the table, staring at his beer can and missing what is going on around him.) Ruby has to translate everything for her parents—at their doctor appointments, at meetings, even calling her grandmother when her mother doesn’t want to use the video relay because of an interpreter being present.

( I will say, I get that and it’s very weird. It’s like this other person is in on these personal details of your life and you really wish they weren’t.)

(Also: I groan when I hear people say, “I’m deaf (or I have CF, or I have whatever) and I can do ANYthING!” No, you really can’t. You can’t! I can’t! I can’t scuba dive, for example! If you are profoundly deaf you need help interacting with the rest of the world. That’s vitally true, and I’m glad CODA showed it, because it’s too often easy to say “oh, well I don’t need help”. )

The family’s “plan”, if there was one, is for Ruby to continue being the hearing deckhand that the boat needs to operate under Coast Guard guidelines. She’s also their line to the world. But when she joins the school choir and finds out that her music teacher thinks she has a shot at a scholarship to the Berklee College of Music, Ruby frantically tries to divide her time between fishing, school, preparing audition material, and being a normal teenager.

Daniel Durant (Leo), Marlee Matlin (Jackie), and Emilia Jones (Ruby) in CODA.

While Ruby’s family intesenly depends on her—something that her brother tries to get them to do less of, hoping they’ll rely on him (He has lip reading skills, and tries to insinuate himself into the hearing culture around him)—Ruby also expresses her ambivalence about leaving her family when she tells her teacher, “I’ve never done anything without my family.”

The Rossis are a vibrant, extroverted family, which can embarrass Ruby, but as one of her friends says, “You parents still like each other!” They’re close knit and that causes tension but they also really do want what is best for each other—even if that means change.

(There’s a crucifix in their house and Ruby wears a small Miraculous Medal throughout the movie. Loved it. :) )

Also from a music standpoint, it’s also accurate. Auditions tend to run the way they do in the movie and if you walked in without your music, you’d definitely get those looks. And you’d also definitely get those looks if you turned up dressed the way Ruby was dressed! (Also big dog, little dog? YES! cracked me up. But I wanted to scream, Ruby put on your concert dress it is right there!!!!!!!! when they left for the audition!)

If there was justice in the world, this would be the movie that people talked about instead of the inane The Power of the Dog, but, we sadly don’t live in this world. While there’s some crude sexual humor, this is a very warm portrayal of a loving family that has flaws and faults but also great strengths.

Kotsur is nominated for Best Supporting Actor for his portrayal of the Rossi family patriarch, Frank, (He just won the BAFTA for it) and he does a great job creating a believable relationship with his daughter, and the struggle to stay with what’s familiar as opposed to being vulnerable to new people, who may or may not be totally straight with him.

Emilia Jones (Ruby) and Troy Kotsur (Frank)

I found this movie totally delightful, and I highly encourage you to see it.

Oscars 2021: "The Power of the Dog"

A continuation of the Oscars 2021 series. Previous entries: King Richard/ Belfast, Dune , West Side Story )

The Power of the Dog is nominated for 12 Oscars: Best Picture, Best Director (Jane Campion, The Piano) , Beset Actor (Benedict Cumberbatch), Best Supporting Actor (Kodi Smit-McPhee and Jessie Plemons), Best Supporting Actress (Kirsten Dunst), best Adapted Screenplay, Best Production Design, Best Sound, Best Cinematography, Best Film Editing, Best Original Score, and is rated R. (Top 5 Oscars nominations: 4, the most so far)

The story revolves around two brothers, Phil (Benedict Cumberbatch) and George Burbank (Jesse Plemons) who have come back to their Montana ranch home. Upon their arrival in town, they and their workers have a meal at a boarding house restaurant, run by Rose (Kirsten Dunst) and her son, Peter (Kodi Smit-McPhee). George marries Rose after a few days’ acquaintance, and takes her back to the family home, with Jesse still working and living at the boarding house. Phil doesn’t, to put it mildly, like this. After a year spent at college, Peter comes to live with his mother and stepfather for the summer.

This is not a comfortable movie to watch. It’s a nicely produced movie, but it’s a movie that sets your teeth on edge. It makes me wonder if people actually liked this movie or if they just think it’s appropriate “artsy” and thus, should be nominated for things. There’s no real story, moral, theme, what have you. There’s no clear arc for the characters. It just…is.

Cumberbatch’s nomination is clearly because he’s playing a baddie, as the Brits would say. He’s good—Cumberbatch is good in just about any role he does—although his American accent is terribly flat (especially up against the Americans in the cast). But there’s no real brilliance in his acting, like there is in Will Smith’s Richard Williams.

The movie is based off a novel, and there are interruptions every so often of “chapter numbers” on a title card, which creates jarring jumps in time. The movie also takes place during Prohibition, but there is conspicuous alcohol consumption everywhere, even at Rose’s boarding house, which would clearly be illegal. (This also becomes a major plot point, which is not….feasible, given where the family lives.)

I kept thinking, What was the point of this movie? What’s the value of making it, of telling it? There’s no arc, no redemption, no…anything. It showcases the worst sides of humanity and honestly, we don’t need a movie that does that. The “gotcha” ending doesn’t even sound plausible to me.

So, as you can probably tell—I did not like this movie. It was a waste of two hours and a lot of acting talent that could’ve been put to better use.