Emily M. DeArdo's Blog, page 17

Dangerous Crap

Internet stupidity makes Patty UPSET!

So today I read an article written by a priest that says that if you’re not healed of your suffering, you are….basically not doing Christianity well enough.

Ohhhhhhhhh I began to wail like an over-tired Patty when I read this.

I am linking to it, even though I don’t really want to give this article hits, because…..yeah.

Now, in fairness, I will note that the author says “possible reasons” at the beginning of his piece.

However it doesn’t cover the amount of sheer insanity that is spouted.

Here’s why you aren’t getting cured:

*You lack consistent prayer

*You lack faithful discipleship

*You lack complete trust

*You lack readiness to give total praise to God

*You lack the willingness to bring healing to all persons.

Do you notice a thread here? It’s all, you are not doing your part so you need to do more and then God, like. vending machine, will give you what you want. You need to do better.

At the end of the article the author says that well, God has his own reasons for doing or not doing things.

But look: This is dangerous garbage. To tell someone who is desperate for healing that they aren’t praying enough, aren’t trusting enough, aren’t doing enough—that’s crap! It’s like the people who have told me that the reason I have CF is because I haven’t prayed enough. It smacks of the attitude of “Oh, there, there, just do X and all will be FINE!”

What? No.

What, precisely, did Jesus “do” to “earn” his death? Did he not have total trust in God? Did Mary lack faith and prayer, or the willingness to give total praise to God, as she watched her son die?

Jesus says in the Gospel of John that the blind man is blind because that’s how he’ll glorify God.

In my book I write about this dangerous attitude. And I also write about how God uses suffering to draw us closer to him, deeper into prayer, and further into a relationship of trust.

Prayer is not magic. God isn’t a vending machine.

If you are suffering, do not believe that somehow, you are failing. Yes, through your suffering, God might be asking you to do more—to trust him, to enter into deeper prayer. But to enter into that with the goal of only gaining is not the right way to enter into deeper prayer. A real relationship with anyone isn’t about what the other person can give you or what you get.

Suffering can, certainly, be, as C.S. Lewis said, “God’s megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” It can spark conversion, definitely.

But we need to be very careful when we talk about why God is permitting suffering. We need to step away from thinking that if we’d only do X Y Z that we’d be cured.

God’s ways are not our ways, and suffering is a deep mystery that we will never totally understand. Don’t try to provide facile answers.

A Thrill of Hope

I’m featured over at Spoken Women, writing about today’s second reading from St. Paul!

Excerpt:

This Sunday, with almost two weeks left before Christmas, St. Paul tells us to “rejoice always!”

Do you feel like you rejoice always? Or rejoice at all? Do you have joy in your daily life? 

I’m going to make a confession here: I am a very naturally happy, nay, joyfulperson. In fact, when I was a contestant on Jeopardy!, a Twitter user wondered if I was trying to imitate Carol Channing with my enthusiasm. (If you don’t get that reference, google Carol Channing. You’ll get it.) 

I wasn’t. I’m just a naturally joyful person. So when St. Paul says to “rejoice always”, I can say I do that often enough. Not always, though, because, let’s be honest: It’s hard to rejoice always. 

Read the rest there.

Margin

Are you a person who needs permission to relax?

I am one of those people. Not to relax, per se, but to build in margin? To give yourself a break? That’s a problem I’ve always had. In some ways it’s good, because I can be counted on—I once did a performance of The Importance of Being Earnest in the midst of atrial fibrillation, because there wasn’t an understudy. I finished the show, went home, changed, and then went to the ER to get it fixed. (Seriously)

Sometimes it’s good that I don’t want to let people down. Other times, it’s not good.

But I think it’s especially important now, when everything is so busy, to remember that it’s OK to give ourselves margin.

For example: Before I had sinus surgery, I told the lector coordinator that I’d need two weeks off. I didn’t think I actually would be sick for two weeks but I thought, eh, you never know.

It turns out that yeah, I have needed that margin. This morning I thought I wasn’t going to make it to Mass. I didn’t fall asleep until almost 4 AM. But as the day went on (and as I’m writing this), I felt better. So I decided, yes, I could go. I had enough margin. I love Advent, so I knew it would feel good to go to Mass and I could wear one of my new dresses!

Said dress! :)

But, if I hadn’t felt good, then it would’ve been OK to miss Mass.

As I look back on my life, I see that there are times when I probably should have had margin, and didn’t. Like the high school semester that I had TB? I only missed four days of school, and two of those were for testing at the hospital. I should’ve missed a lot more. I was falling asleep in my Earth Science class! There was one day when my mom woke me up, and I was so tired I was crying. That day, I didn’t go to school; I just slept all day. We probably should have done that more. I should’ve said “I need this” more. But I didn’t.

The summer after I almost died? (TWENTY YEARS AGO, now!). I got a summer job. Probably shouldn’t have done that.

Post-transplant I knew that margin had to come into my life in a big way. I couldn’t push myself like I had before. I really did have to listen to my body. And I’ve done a better job of that, over the past 16 1/2 years. But it’s an ongoing process. I need to learn to cut myself some slack, because I can be hard on myself, and I’m guessing you can too.

It really is OK to step back. The world will not end if you take time off. It really, really won’t.

My tree isn’t decorated yet. My nativity isn’t up yet. Normally, both those things would be done. But they’re not. And I’m not pushing myself to do it, either. I’m letting myself feel out each day and see what’s happening in my body. I’m feeling, right now, like the nativity will happen tomorrow. But I don’t know for sure and that’s OK.

It is OK to need margin and space. It is OK to rest.

If you need permission, you have my permission.

REST. Give yourself slack. Create margin. It’s OK.

December Yarn Along

Last week was “technically” yarn along week, but I was having surgery, so no yarn along for me, haha. But I can talk about yarn and books this week!

This project has been a year long knit along, and I’ve had so much fun with it! Whatever the Weather wraps up this month and I’m really going to miss it! The Ravelry link is above if you want to see all the details. There were three size choices: scarf, wrap, or blanket, and I chose the wrap. You’ll see it in all its glory next month.

I’ve finished Madeleine’s (my niece’s!) blanket:

And I have two more Christmas gifts to knit. I’m about halfway done on one and once that’s done I will start the second. I’m hoping to get them done by Christmas, but if not, they’ll be done by Epiphany!

There are lots and lots and lots of fun projects on the horizon but right now Christmas knitting has taken precedence over all the things.

But just WAIT.

In terms of books: I’ve started reading Dune! I was really intrigued by the movie trailers and I have to say I am liking the book so far! I have it on my iPad because that’s easier for me to read, post-surgery, for some reason, so no good pictures of it. :)

I also re-read one of my absolute favorites, In This House of Brede, which EVERYONE must read.

Post-surgery, knitting, and a Bl. Emily

Sinus surgery was successful!

There was a lot of stuff in there, according to my ENT—the sinuses were actually “overflowing” (which I could’ve told ya.) It’s so nice to be able to feel air in my nose again! Yay!

So I’m taking the next few days to just putter and rest/work on house things that have been neglected during the massive “I have no energy because I have massively infected sinuses!” campaign. I want to work on my travel sketchbook and get some of my Amish Country sketches done/finished, and I have a few knitting projects that need repaired or blocked. I’m done with Madeleine’s blanket (she’s my niece!) and I’ve moved on to the next Christmas gift on my list, a scarf for one of my best friends.

Maddie’s blanket (not blocked)

And here’s a nice little treat for all of you—I didn’t know there was a Dominican blessed named Emily! You can read all about her here!

Detail of Bl. Emily in Bernadette Carstenen’s “The Dominicans”

How are you doing? Are you preparing for Christmas? Are you celebrating Advent? Are you doing both or neither? :)

Thanksgiving in Amish Country, Part III

Side view of the Carlisle Inn

part one

part two

Friday

It was snowing on Friday when we left, but it was the “good” kind of snow that doesn’t stick to the roads, so we weren’t worried about driving home.

After we packed up the car, we went to Der Dutchman for breakfast (part of staying at the Inn is that you get one free breakfast buffet at the restaurant), which was excellent. Buttermilk pancakes for the win!

Before we left, we stopped at the attached bakery to get some goodies to take home. I got a strawberry fry pie, ground coffee, bread and butter pickles, and Amish popcorn (apparently this is a big thing, Amish popcorn!). Mom and Dad also got some things. It was a really nice bakery, with plenty of items, from bread to doughnuts and other goodies. They also had things like mugs and gift baskets and candy.

Some of my bakery purchases.

On the way home we passed a lot of Amish farms and more buggies (I counted 11!) and Amish kids on bikes. There was more laundry on the line, and lots of cows, goats, horses, and sheep in the fields. Some people had their laundry hung on their covered porches, to keep it out of the wind and snow.

Hills behind the Inn.

This was a great trip that I’d long been wanting to take, and I definitely want to go back as soon as possible, hopefully in the spring so we can use the porches and balconies of the Inn!

Breakfast menu

Links to Places & Things

Carlisle Inn, Walnut Creek

Farmhouse Frocks

Der Dutchman Walnut Creek

Carlisle Gifts

Olde World Bakery and Bistro, Berlin

Berlin Craft Mall

Advent, St. Andrew, and Surgery

I feel like there’s so much to write about and I just haven’t had time to do it!

So, happy Advent! Happy New Church Year! Happy Feast of St. Andrew (on the 30th!)

Here’s a post I wrote on Advent and the Liturgical Year

Advent reading: “At the Service of His Plan”

Also, the St. Andrew Christmas Novena starts on November 30. This is one of my favorite “new” traditions—I picked it up about 6 years ago, and I love it.

Anddddd also I’m having surgery on W, Dec. 1 to finally get my sinuses cleared out! WHEEEE!!!!

Thanksgiving in Amish Country, Part II

Wednesday morning

part one

Wednesday

Wednesday was our big day out, since everything was closed on Thursday. Surprisingly, some stores were also closed on Wednesday or had shortened hours, so I was glad I’d done some research ahead of time and ID’d places that were open. Because of that, some of the places on our list we weren’t able to go to, but we can save them for next time.

We had breakfast at the hotel and then headed to Millersburg, where both my aunt and I wanted to hit Farmhouse Frocks.

Uncle Frank checking out the candles (which are awesome)

Farmhouse Frocks is run by a local woman and her two daughters and features clothing in sizes 5-28. All the clothing is made by Amish seamstresses from fabric that Lena (the owner) picks out. Clothes shopping really doesn’t get more local that this!

The shop carries clothing, accessories, and all sorts of home goods, from cowhide rugs to ornaments to kitchenwares and stationery. This is my kind of store and I could have spent hours in here!

We did spend about an hour and a half in here, trying on clothes and looking at everything. Aunt Judy and I got some great pieces—I got two dresses (two prints of the same dress) and a top, as well as two hair clips (I’m SO GLAD claw clips are back!) and a leather pouch, because my purse is like Mary Poppins’ bag, and I always need pouches to keep things organized.

All of the pieces that I got are versatile, beautiful, and comfortable. All important things! I was hoping I’d find some great things here, and Aunt Judy and I were not disappointed.

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All decorated for Christmas!

After shopping we were, understandably, hungry. So, lunch time! This was a bit tricky because, as I said, some places were closed on Wednesday or had special hours. But fortunately we found a great cafe, the Olde World Bakery and Bistro in Berlin, right off of state route 39 (which is the main road that connects Millersburg, Berlin, Walnut Creek, and Sugarcreek.)

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mmmm, bakery case!

The food here was delicious, and as an extra perk, the shop also makes their own sodas, including Cream Soda, which my dad and Aunt Judy love. I had the grilled cheese and tomato basil soup, which was perfect after a morning of shopping.

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Perfection.

The bakery/cafe is part of a bunch of shops and craft malls, so after lunch mom, Aunt Judy, and I headed to the craft mall while the men checked out the leather and shoe shore. In the craft mall, I found some hand spun and hand dyed yarn! I totally wasn’t expecting that so it was a lovely surprise!

Yay, yarn!

It was a really nice day, sunny and sort of breezy and not too cold. I had my sketchbook with me so I was able to sketch a bit while people finished up their shopping.

After the antique/craft malls, we split up. Our hotel had a promotion with a local forge where guests could get a free commemorative ornament, so mom and dad and I headed out to Wendell August Forge. They’re actually based in Pennsylvania but have a local store in Berlin; we loved seeing all the Pittsburgh things! (Dad actually got a Pitt keychain, which probably proved lucky, since they just had their first 10 win regular season since nineteen eighty-one…..) Mom and I got some coasters and we all got our ornaments.

Another fun part of the store? They have the world’s largest Amish buggy!

It be BIG.

On the way back from the Forge, we saw this:

This was the first time on a trip I’d seen a horse and buggy in a parking lot. We actually saw five buggies that day (holy moly they’re loud I can hear them better than cars!), but since this one was parked I could actually get a photo.

We also saw a lot of Amish teenagers wearing the safety vests (you can see these in the back of the photo) while they rode bikes around the area. Most of them had saddlebags on their bikes and the teens seemed to be making deliveries. It also seemed like wash day in the area because a lot of the houses had their laundry on the line.

Once again we went to Der Dutchman for dinner—they were one of the only places open—but there was so much on the menu we wanted to try that we didn’t mind going there again! It was definitely much more crowded (see—no other place open!) but the service and food were still excellent. I had the local bologna and Swiss sandwich (YUM) with potato salad, and a sampler size of the fudge cake (Really, sampler size is all you need, it was a rich cake. So good.). (Yes, I think one must talk about food when one is talking about Amish Country, because the food is really good.)

Then back to the hotel (next door! Walk off dinner!) where we chatted for a little bit in the second floor gathering room. The hotel had filled up quite a bit from the night before; lots of people were checking in all day. Apparently some people do this every year (I can see why!) and they bring their entire extended families for the holiday.

Amish quilt work in the hallways.

Carolers tucked away on the second floor.

Stained glass details off the lobby.

Thursday

AKA, Thanksgiving!

We all slept in to varying degrees. It was raining so it was very cozy to enjoy a comfortable bed and watch the Harry Potter marathon on USA. (We got through the first and second movies before dinner.) Aunt Judy had stopped at a local market yesterday and picked up some lunch fixings, including baby Swiss cheese, so lunch was delicious.

I sketched a bit, then put on one of my new dresses, as well as a necklace mom had gotten me at Carlisle Gifts. Around 4:15 we headed down to the basement event center for dinner.

There weren’t just hotel guests, there were people from all over the area, so apparently this is a big thing, and after we ate, we could see why—it was great! It was buffet style but there were waiters and waitresses who took drink orders and cleared your plates.

Table setting.

Sadly I didn’t get photos of the buffet, bad me, but it was really good. There was turkey, ham, chicken, and bunch of sides to choose from, including Amish noodles (which my dad tried). The mashed potatoes were particularly good! There was also an entire table of pie, plus spice cake trifle.

It was pretty easy to walk away satisfied, let me tell you.

A quilt on display near the banquet room.

View of the lobby from the staircase

After dinner, we played Apples to Apples for a bit, and then sadly we had to go pack up. Aunt Judy and Uncle Frank were leaving before us in the morning so we said good-bye then—which I hate doing, but I was so glad that we’d gotten to spend time together!

Packing was hard, since my suitcase didn’t have room for all the things I’d bought! But we managed to get everything a bag and in the car—success! (Yarn takes up space, people!)

Thanksgiving in Amish Country

This Thanksgiving my family decided to do something different—we took a road trip! We decided to go to Holmes County, Ohio, and spend Thanksgiving in Amish Country.

Ohio has the largest Amish population in the country, and “Amish Country” really includes quite a few areas in Northeastern Ohio, but the epicenter, if you will, is in Holmes County, around the areas of Millersburg, Berlin, Walnut Creek, Charm, and Sugarcreek.

My parents had taken a day trip up to Holmes County years ago and had really enjoyed it, and when my grandmother spent a weekend there recently, Mom thought it would be fun for us to go there for Thanksgiving, along with my dad’s middle sister, Judy, and her husband.

The view from my balcony

I had only been to Millersburg once, to attend a wedding of a college friend who grew up there. But I’d been interested in Amish culture for a long time and I’d always anted to spend more time there, so when my parents suggested this trip, I was totally on board.

We stayed at the Carlisle Inn in Walnut Creek, which put us really close to Millersburg and Berlin. The plan was to get there Tuesday, spend Wednesday shopping and exploring, chill on Thursday (since everything was closed for the holiday), and leave on Friday.

This will be in a few parts so that it’s not a huge deluge of text and photos.

Tuesday

We only live about two hours from Holmes County, but there’s no direct way to get there, really, so we took the “back” roads—what the Ohio Department of Transportation calls the “Amish Byway”. I had been on this route once, but I’d forgotten how hilly it is here! (People who say Ohio is flat haven’t really seen Ohio.)

We arrived at the Inn around the same time as my aunt and uncle, who were making the trip with us. My Aunt Judy is my dad’s “middle” sister (he has two older sisters), and I hadn’t really seen them since my brother’s wedding. We’d had lunch with them this past summer after Kelly’s wedding, but that’s not the same thing as really spending time with people, in a place where I can hear them. So it was great to see them.

We checked in and got settled into our rooms. The Inn was already decorated for Christmas and they did a wonderful job.

The lobby fireplace—a great place to sit and read or nap!

Almost every room has a balcony or porch, and garland and bows were strung from them. I’m sad it was too cold or too rainy to use the balcony—next visit!

Looking down from the second floor breakfast room.

Outside of every room were these lanterns, bedecked with a wreath and ribbon.

We had a very early dinner at Der Dutchman next door (it’s owned by the same company that owns in the inn), and it was delicious. I had broasted chicken, which, if you’re not familiar with it, is a way of cooking chicken that gives you crispy skin and juicy meat, without frying it. It’s an Amish specialty (sometimes you’ll see Bob Evans offer it, so you can try it then.). With it I had potato salad and green beans. Portions here are BIG, so be prepared. You get your money’s worth but it’s a lot!

We all had dessert, because, hello, PIE, but they also have a pie sampler, where you can get cuts of three different types of dessert. (We did this the second night and I have to say it really was a perfect size). I got the Butterscotch custard pie; my aunt had cherry, and my parents had the pie sampler.

I’m not a huge pie fan, but here, I definitely am. These were good pies.

There was a gorgeous sunset that night…

We spent the evening in front of the fire place, talking and enjoying catching up with each other. We al went to bed pretty early, which is one of the things I like about vacation—if you want to go to bed, go to bed! Want to stay up? Stay up! No worries!

I forgot to take pictures of my room (bad blogger), but every room has a wooden bedstead covered with an Amish-made quilt. There were also watercolors in the rooms, a small refrigerator, TV, and the bath/tub combination (which I love. I dislike places that only have showers!). The floors were wood with some inlaid carpet.

One o the things I really liked was that it was dark outside. No random electric lights, no light pollution—the night skies were gorgeous.

Because of COVID, you had to ask for maid service, and if you wanted fresh towels, you put your towels in the laundry bag outside the door. The housekeepers would then collect the bags and return them with fresh towels. The desk clerks all wore masks, as did the rest of the staff, but that was the only thing I really noticed, COVID wise.

Amish art in the lobby lounge.

Seven Quick Takes with a Yarn Along!

-I-

Hi! OK first things first: I was on the radio this week!

I loved being on Al’s show! He was great to talk to, especially in working memento mori in with All Souls’ Day! It can be easy to pigeonhole my book as a “Lent book” (IT IS NOT) so I was glad to have an interview that wasn’t all Lenty!

(Although, I mean, it is applicable in Lent….;-)

Funny story about this: Since Al’s show (Kresta in the Afternoon) is broadcast nationally, Diane and her kids were able to listen to the show live, since this was aired during the pick up from school time in Houston. Di said that the kids were silent on the way home, listening to the interview!

So we have found the key to silent, calm rides home: Put on Emily talking about her book. :-p

Magic!

-2-

I haven’t done a yarn along here in awhile, so let’s catch up!

Right now I’m working on several Christmas gifts, including a blanket for Madeleine…(aka, my niece)

Here’s a look at the seed stitch pattern.

The yarn for this blanket is Rowan Cashsoft Merino in Turquoise, Rosy, Snowflake, and Lavender. It’s a modification of the Sully blanket—I’ve added a four stitch knit stitch border on both sides to keep it from curling in. I might also, the next time I make this, add the border all the way around.

There are also three scarves I’m working on for Christmas gifts, which I can’t show you here, haha.

For myself:

This is the garter graffiti shawl , using Spincycle’s Dream State in Starstruck and LolaBean Cool Beans Worsted in Teal Me In. I love how the Spincycle yarn works here!

I’m also working on my Ursina sweater:

Some of the set up rows.

This is knit in one of my favorite yarns—Quince and Co Lark—in the LE color way Blue Balloon.

And that is it for a yarn along! Whew!

-III-

In the Dominican third order (Lay Dominicans), you take a name when you enter, just like the friars and sisters/nuns do. WheN I entered, I chose Bl. Lucy of Narnia as my patron. Her feast day is coming up, and if you’ve never heard of her, here is a piece from the Dominican student brothers’ blog about her!

And here’s a piece I wrote about her, many moons ago!

Lucy Pevensie, as seen in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.

-IV-

Even though Orchard House (my apartment) is not a house, it’s still good sized (it’s over 1000 sq ft), and I love looking at decorating ideas. Really my style is very British/English country cottage, but when it comes to style, I love to look anywhere!

This piece in Apartment Therapy definitely made me wish I could organize my yarn like she does! Jennifer is actually a teacher in this season of Knit Stars (an online knitting mater class with a ton of teachers—there are six seasons now!), and I’m really looking forward to her class.

I mean look at the yarn!

I also really want a dress form like the one on the right, but alas, they are expensive so I’ll have to save my pennies. But they’d be great for displaying big shawls and sweaters! I also need to get a “head model” like the one you see on the shelf there. I am going to finish a hat soon, I am I swear. Just have to learn one more thing!

-V-

Patty had a pretty great Halloween and has discovered the joys of Three Musketeers bars.

L-R: Fighter pilot, Alice being held by the Queen of Hearts, a fairy, and a fire fighter!

“MOAR CHOCOLATE, MAMA!”

-VI-

In other Patty news, she also KISSES THE PHONE NOW. It’s so cute. We also love to play peek-a-boo: she hides herself from the phone screen and then pops back in. She thinks it’s the most brilliant thing ever.

-VII-

I am just about done with my Christmas shopping and I am starting to write out my cards! I generally shop early for Christmas and I’m sure glad I did it this year because who knows when things will show up…I like to be an early bird when it comes to this sort of stuff.