Emily M. DeArdo's Blog, page 2

Remembering Those Who Have Gone Before Us

Bible reading next to Emily’s grave.

1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.Hebrews 12:1-3

November 1st and 2nd are for All Saints’ Day and All Souls’ Day celebration in the Catholic tradition (learn more). These are days set aside to thank the Lord for the saints who spread His amazing gospel that has echoed through time until now as well as loved ones who have passed into eternity. It’s a time a remembrance and thanksgiving. Write a list out of the names of all those who have gone before you and brought you to Christ or made you stronger in Him.

This time is also a time where people take their own mortality into consideration. Last year on this same day, Emily wrote her last entry about this important time for Catholics, not knowing that she would join those she loved and cherished that had gone before her. She had prepared herself for so long and really believed in the fact that “this world’s our ship and not our home” (St. Therese).

Please take a moment to read her words from last year to understand a bit more about these celebrations and maybe consider getting her book, Living Memento Mori, as well since it’s a great book on life, death, and self reflection.

To end this, here is a short excerpt from a song called “Death Be Not Proud” by a band called Attalus that really sums up how we all should look at death in the reality of the work Christ completed on the cross for us. The work that all those before us, including Emily herself, believed so completely in and shared boldly (may we all obtain such courage for the sake of other’s coming to the faith). We don’t have to be afraid of our end here on earth when we have confidence in what lies ahead in our eternity.

“Dates on a stone
Oh, they're just an alibi
A simple line
It can't sum up my life
Beneath the tears
The wreaths, the letters, and the roses
God composes a new life
As the old one decomposes

So come on death, I've got your dues
Take them any way you choose
And shake the heavens with your smile
If my bones are worth your while
But this coffin's just a womb
Thanks to the cross and empty tomb
My God will get the final laugh
Death, here He comes - your epitaph!”

And finally, a bonus throwback photo of Emily and her siblings during Halloween in the 90s!

A throwback photo of Emily and her siblings during Halloween in the 90s with costumes on.

Once in a Lifetime: Jeopardy and Catholic 101

Emily’s episode on Jeopardy in July 2016: Image displays Emily and the other contestants, Hans Huizing and Ellen Corrigan.

Jeopardy Experience: 9 Years Later

In October of 2015, Emily made her way to Boston, MA. This wasn’t just an opportunity to travel and see the New England area, but rather, this was a once in a lifetime opportunity to audition to be on THE “Jeopardy” game show! Her father, Carmen, who accompanied her recalled Emily’s attitude and demeanor as “in her element” and that every experience she got to participate in was considered an adventure to be lived to the fullest.

Emily did in fact end up getting to compete on the show, for which we also have her episode in full that you can watch here.

Emily also wrote a series of blogs giving details of auditioning as well as her well documented site-seeing and food experience in Boston. If you’re headed to Boston or interested in going, you might want to pay special attention to what her favorite experiences were:

The Jeopardy experience

So if you have something you’ve always been felt led to do or something you want to take a chance on, we encourage you to face life like Emily did and go after it with excitement and courage! The Lord brought Emily into the world for a limited time that has expired, but we all have expiration dates here on earth that are meant to be spent living for Him and sharing His love in all we do. So start that hobby, try out for that thing you’ve been hesitant on, start that business because we need more courage in the world, especially these days.

Image of Emily’s book, Ctholics 101

Where to Buy Emily’s Book: Catholic 101

We also wanted to mention one of Emily’s older books, Catholic 101 and where to buy it for those that have been asking and those interested!

Gumroad has copies for $5! Just click “I want this!” and you should be led through the checkout process.

A short summary of the book:
Catholic 101 is 147 pages, divided into four sections (The Basics, The Liturgical Year, and Beliefs/Practices/Sacraments, prayers and resources), and comes with an appendix of basic prayers, a list of American Holy Days of Obligation, a list of resources, and an extensive bibliography. It's designed to be a go-to resource for all Catholics who want to know what the Church teaches, and what Catholics believe. 

Celebrations and Sweet Memories

Baptism of Jude Family Photo

Jude’s Baptism

Emily’s nephew, Jude, was baptized on September 14,2024 and it was a joyous event as shown in the picture (above).  The family was so excited for this day and Jude’s big sister, Maddie, was so engaged (and busy) that it was hard to keep both her shoes on her feet!  While Emily’s earthly presence was deeply missed, we know that she had a much better perch from her heaven and are certain she enjoyed it.

A Dream Come True

It’s also been a year since Emily’s trip to Scotland. It was the last trip she got to take before going home to the Lord, but it was such precious time for her as she well documented in her blogs last year (starting September 15, 2023). It was a blessing that she was able to experience this much anticipated trip, which included all the things she loved (churches, art, royal castles and food) as she wrote about in blog entries like this, which included a visit to the National Shrine of St. Andrew.

If you ever get the opportunity to visit Scotland then you might want to take a look back into Emily’s documentation of her adventures there last year to get some ideas. We also want to leave you with some restaurant recommendations Emily made that we hope you might visit and think of her while you’re enjoying your meal and scenery:

Howie’s Victoria Street

Ensign Ewart Pub on the Royal Mile

The Grand Cafe, Scotsman Hotel (afternoon tea and lunch)

Mowgli Edinburgh

Eteaket Tea Room

Cafe at the Palace (of Holyroodhouse)

Mimi’s Bakehouse (don’t take reservations but we popped in several times for drinks and snacks)

Ivy on the Square

Badger and Co.

The Scran and Scallie

Royal Deck Tearoom, Britannia (they don’t take reservations so if you want to eat there, head there first when you get on the yacht!)

To wrap this post up, whether you’re in a season of celebration, adventure, uncertainty or earthly suffering we want to leave you with encouragement. As has seemingly been a theme this year following Emily’s passing, we hope that you take each day a moment at a time and thank the Lord for all His blessings. We never know the time we have left or what season of life we’re moving into, but we should depend on Him for our every given moment.

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
- Isaiah 41:10

Happy Feast of the Assumption

The Assumption refers to the fact that Mary, being sinless at her conception and sinless her entire life, was assumed body and soul into heaven after her death. The idea of the Assumption has been around since the fourth century; the fact that no one has found, or ever noted, where Mary was buried, is another point in the doctrine's favor. If people knew that, there would definitely be a church there, and relics galore. But there's never been any evidence of the grave site. 

The dogmatic declaration of the Assumption only occurred in 1950,  so it's pretty "new" in that sense. But there is evidence that people believed in the Assumption, as I noted, in the early church. 

It's important to note here that Mary is not God.  Mary is very, very special. We do not worship Mary. To Catholics, worship is the Mass. The only person that Mass is offered to is...God. We don't say "Oh, Mary, accept our offering of bread and wine and change them into the body of your son" etc. etc. etc. 

Catholics have worship, but we also have reverence and devotion. We are devoted to Mary because she is the Mother of God. She was human, like us, and she lived through many difficult things: the death of her husband, the death of her son, fleeing her country because a crazy king wanted to kill her son, not to mention having to explain a miraculous conception to her husband. To Catholics, Mary is our mother, and we come to her like we would come to our moms here on Earth. 

Yes, our churches, more often than not, have statues of Mary, and pictures of her. She's one of the most common subjects in the history of art. Yes, we light candles before statues of her and statues of saints. But this isn't worship, to a Catholic. This is piety. This is prayer. We have pictures of her, and Jesus, and Joseph, and the saints, the same way people keep pictures of loved ones in their homes. We love them, and they're our examples and our helpers. When we ask for their prayers, we ask it the same way I would ask you blog readers to pray for me. Just because someone is dead doesn't mean they still don't exist. 

Mary is God's most brilliant creation. (Jesus doesn't count, because....he's GOD.) But she's also the humble, believing girl from Nazareth. And she loves us all, because we are brothers and sisters of her Son. So Catholics ask us to pray for her, and we honor her with hymns and paintings and feast days. But we don't worship her. She wouldn't want us to! Mary always, always points us to her Son. If we've forgotten about her Son, we're doing it wrong. But Jesus also wants us to remember his mother. It's a two-way thing. She wasn't just the body that bore him and took care of his physical needs. She was his Blessed Mother. 

The Fourth Commandment is "Honor thy father and mother." You can be sure that Jesus fulfilled this perfectly in His life. If we are to follow His example, then we are to honor His father and mother, as well. Being devoted to Mary doesn't mean being less devoted to Jesus. If anything, she brings us always closer to him. 

(This was taken from Em’s post in 2016).

Special Edition: Reflection from Aunt Mary

The following is from a wonderful Daily Gospel Reflection (run by the University of Notre Dame) that Emily’s Aunt Mary wrote on July 24th. She loved Emily dearly and was greatly inspired by her journey (and continues to love her still even in parting for the rest of this earthly life). Be blessed by her reflection on faithfulness.

In addition, there is an archive for other Daily Gospel Reflections from former ND Alumni as well as daily reflections in audio form.

Reflection

Mary Heilmann Becker ’87
ND Parent

My niece Emily DeArdo died at age 41 on New Year’s Eve 2023—a day she had long contemplated and prepared for.

“I’ve never doubted my faith,” Emily wrote. “But did I have courage? Did I trust Jesus? … That’s the slow-growing bloom of faith. Faith is the seed. But courage and trust? That’s the result of a lot of dark nights and lots of tears.”

Jesus asks us to have that bloom of faith in today’s gospel reading, and it was the essence of Emily. Diagnosed with cystic fibrosis at age 11 and given a projected life expectancy of 30 years, Emily could have had her faith snatched away by the birds of bitterness before it took root. Or, having survived this devastating diagnosis, Emily’s faith could have been scorched or choked by the medical trials she endured over the years—the near-fatal bout of tuberculosis, the double lung transplant, and the loss of her hearing.

But Emily proved to be rich soil that produced a fruitful, faithful life. She lived exuberantly, with courage and trust in God. She competed on “Jeopardy!” as the show’s first cochlear implant recipient, blazing a path for others to follow. She wrote the book Living Memento Mori: My Journey Through the Stations of the Cross, published by Ave Maria Press in 2019, explaining how her faith guided her through many challenges and offering inspiration to readers struggling with their own crosses.

“We wait for the second coming of Christ—we wait for our own resurrection,” Emily wrote. “And as we do this, we show the world that even when God appears silent, we will still love him. We will still follow him. We will still be faithful as we wait.”

Whoever has ears ought to hear.

Matthew 13:1-9
On that day, Jesus went out of the house and sat down by the sea.
Such large crowds gathered around him
that he got into a boat and sat down,
and the whole crowd stood along the shore.
And he spoke to them at length in parables, saying:
“A sower went out to sow.
And as he sowed, some seed fell on the path,
and birds came and ate it up.
Some fell on rocky ground, where it had little soil.
It sprang up at once because the soil was not deep,
and when the sun rose it was scorched,
and it withered for lack of roots.
Some seed fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked it.
But some seed fell on rich soil, and produced fruit,
a hundred or sixty or thirtyfold.
Whoever has ears ought to hear.”

Emily's Journal: What Defines Your Life? ✍️

Font image that reads, “The following is a journal entry from Emily that is being shared with permission from her parents. This is a look into her unfiltered thoughts about her outlook on life and how she wanted to be defined... “

Thursday, June 19, 2003

I read an article about a girl with CF (Cystic Fibrosis), and here are my comments:

I don’t want this to define me. If someone wrote an article about me, I want it to be about my voice or work or something awesome I’ve done - not my CF. It would be like writing an article on my blonde hair. I want my legacy to be my library, my wit, my work, my music, my laughter, my friends, my pictures, my relationships, my loves. I want to be remembered for my fortitude, my talents, my love of God, children, self, my self-reliance, my respect of others, my love of life and not the fact that it may end too soon. Defeats and circumstances are not a legacy. The life ones lives IN SPITE OF THEM is my legacy. That is what I want to live forever - these words, not the fact of my life. My spirit. My heart. My life, defined on my own terms and lived my way. Free. Without apologies. Passionate. In love with life. And with no excuses or borders…just my free, passionate, gifted, willful, personal self. Just me.

Emily Michele DeArdo.

That’s me. A daughter, sister, niece, cousin, granddaughter, best friend, friend, writer, musician, confident, EAI member, Catholic, devout, actress, lobbyist, politician, collector, debater, singer, lover of all the life that God above gives me to live. God is so good to me! I am defined on my own terms and by my own words.

I am so much more than this page (her journal) can contain. I am a daughter of God and I live to do His will. I am loved and happy and unique and passionately in love with life. I want to drink it, absorb it, eat it! All of it! Even the “bad parts.” Nothing is bad - all of it is part of the mosaic of life. Life is to be lived as richly as possible until we go to live with God forever. How happy that will be! Life beautiful, wonderful, fabulous…and I don’t ever want to be told otherwise. My life is mine and I love it! CF is part of it, to be sure, but it doesn’t define me. I define me! And, oh, how I love life!

“You have to live the
life you’re given,
and never close your eyes
you hold on, and stare into
the skies, and burn against the cold!
For any moment
you might find the gold!”
- “Gold” by Linda Eder

How true! How true!
I LOVE LIFE!

Font image that reads, “While you read, did you think about how you’ve been defining your own life? Have you been limiting yourself or letting others label you and your potential? In the wise words of Jane (aka Nightbirde)...”

Quote from Jane Marczewski (aka Nightbirde): “You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore…before you decide to be happy.”

What You do with Your Years (Anniversary Edition)?

Battling Your Circumstances with Joy and Gratitude

Emily always said she was grateful for every additional day of her life that her double lung transplant back on July 11,2005 gave her. She wrote about it constantly, in fact, she wrote a whole book about it that was published in 2020.

Today would have been her 19th lung transplant anniversary, but since she has passed on from this life (and is completely healed praise the Lord!), we wanted to inspire you as a reader to think of how powerful her story really was and continues to be. She was not supposed to live to see 24 years old, but with her lung transplant, she far outlived her prognosis. And boy, did she live and love life! This blog entry from 2015 tells of all the moments Emily was so grateful to experience and witness with her extended lease on life. It’s important to also note that Emily’s donor Suzanne was very dear to her because she knew for one to live it meant one had to die and she never forgot to thank her and her family.

An image of Emily on the day she was being released to come home from the hospital post surgery.

If you’ve never seen this 5-minute video from Nationwide Children’s Hospital that covers and overview of her journey from diagnosis to receiving her double lungs transplant surgery, please take a moment to watch and hear about how pivotal this moment that brought hope was in her life.

Emily’s outlook on her diagnosis did not relegate her to living her life in a lesser way. In fact, it propelled her into pursuing things she was more passionate for (like writing her books and blogs) and enabled her to grow deeper in her relationship with Christ. She even wrote this article a little over a year ago talking about the blessings and hardships of transplant patients that is a transparent look through her perspective and the facts.

Text image that reads: We spend out. We don’t hoard our time or resources. We invest them in people, in loving others, and in community.

So the real question is, knowing we all have breath in our lungs today and the precious gift of life, how does God want you to live your years? Not many of us will go through a transplant like Emily did in our lifetime, but if you’ve accepted the gift of Salvation, then you’ve gotten a spiritual transplant.
Consider Romans 6:8-11 below:

8 Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. 9 For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. 10 The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God. 11 In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus.

So what should we do with this renewed life on earth that extends into eternity? Maybe love our families and friends well and making the most of our time with them? Give generously of our time, talents, and treasures to others? Live each day like it’s our last on this earth and tell someone about His amazing gift of salvation? Or maybe all of the above? Everyone’s journey through life looks different, but the focus should always be on Christ and furthering His Kingdom through gratitude and love - something Emily did well.

Absent in Body, Present in Heaven ❤️‍

Emily’s headstone finally arrived on May 22nd and it’s given an earthly finality to things. Her final earthly place is situated between where her father and mother will be buried, but in heaven there will be a beautiful reunion in the Kingdom that will never end.

Always believing that every day was an extra day beyond what she was ever supposed to live with cystic fibrosis, Emily had at the ready a written order of how she wanted things done at her funeral. She thoroughly listed everything she would like for her service. You can see her love for scripture (especially Isaiah passages) and hymns. We encourage you to dig into the Word and read those passages she held so dearly.

Below are a couple offered tributes that her father and her current “ghost writer” wanted to share as encouragement that God is there in the midst of suffering, even in the little moments, and that God’s the author and finisher of our lives.

A Moment of Reassurance
(from father, Carmen DeArdo)

“When she was in the ICU and it was not looking well at the end, it was the middle of the night and I was walking around the hospital and they had this Robo coffee machine so I went over and I entered Emily‘s name as the person for the order and I ordered a coffee. They gave me the option of having some message written in your coffee, which was the last stage of the process of the choices you had. There were Christmas designs of Santa, reindeer, those kinds of things, and of course I really wasn’t in the mood for anything cute so I skipped that step and just ordered the coffee without anything on top. When the coffee was being made, I noticed it went to the stage where it was gonna put some message on the top and I was surprised because I hadn’t ordered one and then I was shocked when I saw what the message was because it sounded just like something Emily would say.

So even though she was no longer with us in terms of consciously being with us, she was still communicating with us and I think that’s the same for now. Maybe it was just God’s way of reassuring us she was in good hands.

Even now that he headstone is officially in place at her grave and we visit her, we know she’s really not here. She’s in a better place and she’s still with us spiritually. until we are reunited in heaven with her.”

Finished in Heaven
(from Megan Krueger)

“Emily’s father, Carmen, asked me to help him continue her blog in January and I honestly didn’t know if I’d be able to be of much help when I started. I unfortunately never got the opportunity to meet Emily (although I had heard a lot about her and the DeArdo family from her father when I worked with him), but I was always amazed at her ability to have a positive spin on what was happening to her and around her. She has only continued to inspire me, like so many others.

She was bright in both attitude and intelligence and I could see her passion in the many videos, podcasts, and writings I’ve gotten the pleasure to include these last 6 months. She really did allow Jesus to work in her life and use her to her fullest capacity here on earth. 

And yet, I still feel her work isn’t finished. She’ll still continue to impact others for years to come every time they read her books, writings, listen to a podcast or watch her old videos.

This portrait sketch  is a reminder that what’s not finished on earth, or what appears to be not quite complete like Emily’s time on earth, has been completed in heaven. Made perfect in our Savior’s loving arms and with a timeless clock that never runs out.”

Pick up a copy of Emily’s book:
Amazon
Ave Marie Press
Seton Shrine

Past Moments of June ✍️

Can you believe we’re more than half way through June already? It’s amazing how time can move so slow and so fast at the same time. While looking through some of handwritten journals and former blogs posts from Emily, we came across som gems.

Past blog entries:
This Moment of June (June 26,2017)
Heart Note (June 7,2020)
This Moment of June 2 (June 26,2023)

Click on the images of Emily’s journal below to read her handwritten theme with quotes from Laura Ingalls Wilder and an encouraging Bible verse. Her musings on life are pure and simple, but also powerful, and we encourage you to take some time to meditate on them with the Lord. Life doesn’t have to be full of busyness and packed schedules all the time. It’s in simplicity and gratitude that we can find peace in Jesus.

If you have trouble reading her handwriting, the transcript will be typed below the images.

Laura Ingalls Wilder

I am beginning to learn that it is the sweet, simple things in life which are the real ones after all.

The real things haven’t changed. It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures; and to have courage when things go wrong.

Home is the nicest word there is.

As the years pass, I am coming more and more to understand that it is the common, everyday blessings of our common, every day lives for which we should be grateful. They are the things that fill our lives with comfort And our hearts with gladness - just the pure air to breathe and the strength to breathe it; just warmth and shelter and home folks; just plain food that gives us strength; the bright sunshine on a cold day; and a cool breeze when the day is warm.

The true way to live is to enjoy every moment as it passes and surely it is in the everyday things around us that the beauty of life lies.

Philippians 4:6-7

Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, present your requests to be known to God. And the peace of Christ, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Memorialize the Present

Memorial Day is the day we take time to honor those men and women who made the ultimate sacrifice for our country (for our USA friends that is) and gave their lives so that we could and can remain a free country. We probably all know someone who has served and we might even know someone who has died in the line of duty. All of these people had dreams beyond the battlefields, but they put them aside for the good of the country they loved. 

We hope you’ll remember this today and have an attitude of thanksgiving and gratitude. No country is perfect, but we have been blessed with so much.

Emily had her own Memorial Day traditions that she shared in this post.

She always cherished the little moments and valued people in her life. Even rereading Jane Austin books every summer and getting to dip her toes in the pool (her nieces share her affinity below) were what she considered worth a mention. 

Emily’s nieces sharing her love of the pool!

How many of us can truly say we are living? Some of us wake up and choose to take on the world loudly, some quietly one moment at a time, and some of us are physically awake, but bare minimum for the definition of “living”. 

We hope as you read Emily’s former post you gain a renewed drive to be present in the ordinary moments in life. Life is short; we all know it, but we tend to push it out of our minds in exchange of desire for the big moments. But truly, tomorrow is never guaranteed so please start memorializing the time you have with your family and friends, enjoy each other’s company in the moment, and don’t stop making good memories. 

So teach us to number our days, That we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.
- Psalm 90:12