Zachary Craig Hanson's Blog, page 6

The D.B. Cooper Effect

Day 46 - Over the last few years living in the most remote town in the lower 48, I have come up with a new gauge of community. I call it the D.B. Cooper effect. This measurement is designed to let you know if the community circle you run in is too large or too small. 

Ok, Ok, let me explain. When I moved to the woods I had no interest in building a community… I came from an oversaturated urban environment and had dreams of being left alone. As I detail in my book, Turning Feral, that changed when I realized that community is necessary for survival – especially in austere environments. But, as I have grown with my community situated at the end of an eighty mile dirt road with a year round population of just thirty-seven people… Some questions have popped up in my mind regarding my neighbors.

You see, it takes a certain type of person to live in such an isolated place and the few who do all have interesting backgrounds. Ex-professional motocross racers, ex-Amazon execs, ex-military vets, ex-fire professionals, ex-ballerinas, ex-helicopter pilots, ex-NASA engineers, etc. All people who traded in their unique careers for peace and a heaping dose of relative solitude. Yet, none of these people (including myself) are extremely open about their past lives. The past is just that, the past and everyone here seems to live in the present, and this phenomenon is what has created the D.B. Cooper effect.At any given time and in any given conversation with my neighbors I have thought at least once, “Oh shit, [insert neighbors name] is D.B. fricken’ Cooper!!!”

Now, for those not in the know, D.B. Cooper is a famed thief who robbed a plane in 1971 for several hundred grand in cash, only to then open the aft door mid-flight and parachute out into the dark Washington state night, never to be seen again. And what better way to enjoy that hard-earned skyjacking money than to move to the most remote town in the U.S. and live a quiet life with no law enforcement? You see where I am going with this…

So, are any of my neighbors actually D.B. Cooper? Maybe. Maybe not. Only they know, but the D.B. Cooper effect has become my new measure for finding the perfect community size. My goal is to always live in a place where I know my neighbors just intimately enough to have the D.B. Cooper question pop into my head. If that question starts to fade, then it may be time to shrink my circle of acquaintances. You, the reader, can seek the D.B. Cooper effect wherever you live, too. Even if you live in an urban environment with hundreds of people per square mile, you can relegate your social circle to a manageable size where you start to regularly question the storied past of people you meet!

The D.B. Cooper Effect - How well do you know someone’s past?

Daily Prompt: How large is your community circle? Is it so small that you know every detail of your acquaintances lives? Is it so big that you only have a surface level intimacy with them? How can you start to add or trim to your social circle to get the D.B. Cooper effect?:

Motivational Passage:

“Fear is an emotional upstaging of our common sense.”

-Andrew Pacholyk ‘Barefoot - A Surfer’s View of the Universe’

Rewilding Action: In keeping with the D.B. Cooper theme, I have always been proud that I used to skydive. A reckless sport? Sure. And it’s one that I have since quit after having kids, but it’s still nice to know that if I were caught in a plane that I could (theoretically) escape if I had the right equipment with me. Today, that interest in the sky has transformed into wanting to get my pilot or helicopter license. The pilots I have met in the backcountry have the ultimate freedom of travel and possess a priceless tool in access. And the great thing about getting a pilot license? You don’t have to live in the backcountry to get one. In fact, wherever you are today you could start and be one step ahead of the competition when you begin your own Turning Feral journey.

Thanks for reading Let Me Die Learning! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

From Darwin to Munger

Day 45: Often when I chat with people about building a life they desire, whether that be around parenting, marriage, or living off-grid, people seem stuck. They can’t figure out why their marriage isn’t thriving, their kids aren’t listening, or why they can’t find the time to be outdoors as much as they would like. When I start to press on the core underlying reasons behind these feelings I am met with a flood of excuses. “My spouse doesn’t do X enough,” or “My kids just have a mind of their own,” or one of my favorites, “I can’t get outside because I don’t own enough land.”

Now, I am not one who enjoys giving advice directly to people. I do not consider myself to be enough of an expert in any one area and can never quite brainwash myself into believing that I don’t face similar problems… Yet, one of the things I have observed in people who complain to me about their lifestyle(s) is that they usually aren’t living out the values they want to receive.

When I started my spiritual renaissance journey back in 2011, one of the first books I read was “Seeking Wisdom: From Darwin to Munger.” In that book, Charlie Munger (RIP) talked about living out what you want to receive and to be deserving of what you want, he said:

“How to find a good spouse? The best single way is to deserve a good spouse… to get what you want, you have to deserve what you want.”

Granted this quote is about personal relationships, but it’s easy to see how if you want something you need to be living out the values you desire. In my opinion, you can’t possibly attract a set of values if you aren’t actively embracing them yourself. Now I am not saying that if you are in a bad relationship, or if your kids are acting out, or that if you can’t find time to get outside that you aren’t deserving of those things. I am saying, however, that if those things are getting the better of you, you should take time to ensure that you are reflecting the values that could help change those situations. 

Spouse not doing the chores you want them to do? That’s OK, you do them. Kids eating all the junk food and not obeying? That’s OK, you be a quiet example of healthy habits. Not enough time to get outdoors? That’s OK, wake up earlier to get some fresh air before the family wakes up. You have to actively live what you want to receive in all areas of your life — you be the example and set the pace.

Daily Prompt: Take some time and make a list of values that you would want in a partner, in your kids, or in a hobby. Now, reflect on that list. Are you actively living out those values? If not, how can you change that?:

Motivational Passage:

“I constantly see people rise in life who are not the smartest, sometimes not even the most diligent, but they are learning machines. They go to bed every night a little wiser than they were when they got up and boy does that help, particularly when you have a long run ahead of you.”

-Charlie Munger

Rewilding Action: These morning posts are fueled by my addiction to caffeine. Black-tar coffee to be precise. It’s a relationship that likely does a number on my gut, but one I have not been able to shake for long periods of time… it’s one of the last bastions of vice that still rules over me with an iron fist. Because of its power over me, I have had to come up with ways to get my fix even when I am out in the backcountry. With my jetboil in tow, I have tried a number of instant coffee mixes over the years… It started with my least favorite blend, starbucks, before I graduated to Green Mountain who proudly claim on their label “It actually does taste good”… which says all you need to know about the state of instant coffee. After killing a few taste buds, a friend then finally introduced me to my current mainstay, Black Rifle Coffee’s instant packs. Unlike the first two contenders, this coffee is a solid step above the taste of dog’s ass and I actually look forward to striking up the jet boil to get a cup going! I recommend buying some and keeping a few stashed wherever you think you may need an emergency cup of joe.

Thanks for reading Let Me Die Learning! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

There is no Pot of Gold

Day 44 - It’s an interesting thing that we teach our children there is a pot of gold waiting for them at the end of whatever path they on. We tell them that if they suffer well, endure hardships, and pursue tough things they will win in life. Yet, as adults we know that to be a lie.

We never teach them that what they find may not look at all like a pot of gold. In fact, the likelihood that monetary success comes at the tail end of struggle and dogged determination is almost zero. Look at professional athletics as an example. For every gold medal winning wrestler, swimmer, fighter, etc. there are hundreds and thousands of top-tier athletes nipping at their heels who come up short. These ‘other’ athletes dedicated their lives to the same craft but will never feel the glory of hoisting that first place trophy and receiving the monetary benefits that come with that.

I think as a society (and parents) we have to start reframing what pots of gold actually look like. We should teach them that pots of gold manifest in various forms outside of the monetary caricature. Things like renewed perspective, mental & physical health, and life satisfaction. If the monetary reward of struggle is all they are taught to chase, then they will be disappointed with the actual gifts they are most likely to receive – which arguably have more long term value and can’t be bought or sold.

If you are on a journey chasing the pot of gold at the end of your rainbow, be cautious that the monetary benefit could just be a mirage, and don’t overlook the other gifts you receive along the way!

The pots of gold on my journey all look way different than I ever dreamed… They also cost more money than they give me!

Daily Prompt: What pot of gold have you recently pursued? Did you get it? If not, what other gifts did you get along the way?:

Motivational Passage:

“It must be borne in mind that the tragedy of life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goals to reach.” —Benjamin E. Mays

Rewilding Action: Headlamps are an often overlooked tool that I use everyday. Having a light (other than your iphone) to allow hands free movement in any dark situation is beyond necessary. In fact, I always keep two in my vehicle and usually carry two when I am out in the woods. Most manufacturers today have solid products and brand differentiation (in my opinion) isn’t that big… Petzl, Black Diamond, and Fenix will all get the job done. I usually carry one USB rechargeable light and one that can run off of batteries.

Thanks for reading Let Me Die Learning! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

Adjust Your Parallax

Day 43: In long range shooting at distances over 150 yards, you will need to adjust your rifle scope for parallax. Parallax is the apparent movement of an object when viewed from different positions, which is exaggerated the further you get away from a target. The easiest example is to hold one arm out and point an index finger up. Now close one eye and notice the background behind that finger. Now open that eye and close the other one and notice the background behind the finger. See how it’s different? There. That's parallax. 

In rifle shooting, most modern scopes have a dedicated knob to help compensate for this effect as you get out to 200, 600, 800, and 1000+ yards. Often it only takes a micro-adjustment to fix for parallax, but if you forget… you can have a pretty sizable point of impact shift, causing you to miss the target despite having your crosshairs directly on it. 

Hearing a coach yell “adjust your parallax” helps. Find someone to do that for you.

Why is this important? Well, it comes down to patience and routine. If you go through all of the motions of getting set up, ranging your target, looking at your ballistic chart, adjusting your elevation and windage, and go through your shot process and DON’T adjust for parallax… you may miss, even though everything else was done correctly.

When I was learning to shoot, my coach had to sit over my shoulder and constantly remind me before I pulled the trigger, “Zach, did you adjust for parallax?!” Of course he already knew the answer and would watch me sheepishly lift my head from the rifle stock and make the micro adjustment before settling back in to make the shot. 

This concept of micro adjustments to ensure you actually have the target correctly oriented in your field of view translates to life as well. When you are far away from something that you want to achieve it’s easy to forget how small things can impact your ability to actually hit your goal that is far off. So, for those of you with lofty goals of living a more feral life, take stock of how far you are from that goal and adjust your parallax… make sure that you have the end goal in true focus and make the small adjustments in your life to ensure you actually hit it.

Daily Prompt: What small adjustments can you make today to keep your goal(s) properly oriented? Do you need to adjust your wake up time? Your workout length? Your time spent outdoors? Write down a few ideas here:

Motivational Passage:

​​Some of us have great runways already built for us. If you have one, take off! But if you don’t have one, realize it is your responsibility to grab a shovel and build one for yourself and for those who will follow after you.

-Amelia Earhart

Rewilding Action: Battery packs can be a lifesaver when you are out in the backcountry. Being a guilty millennial who doesn’t use a paper map (though traditional land nav is a fun skill I have practiced), I am reliant on my phone and a mapping application to help in navigation. If my phone dies then I am SOL when it comes to knowing where I need to go. So, having back up battery packs is vital. Unfortunately, most battery packs are heavy little bricks that take up quite a bit of space in a hiking pack. I haven’t found the *perfect* setup yet and am still experimenting. The best thing to do is go on Amazon and search for lightweight rechargeable battery packs and start your own testing. They are also nifty to have in your car in case of a breakdown. PS: I have tried solar rechargeable packs, too… which have not worked well for me in the past, so I am open to suggestions if people have them.

Thanks for reading Let Me Die Learning! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

The Power of Loneliness

Day 42: There is a value to being alone. Months or years on end where you have limited connection to the outside world, can focus on faith, and are not distracted by the opposite sex or alcohol. At first read, you may think I am referring to the time when I moved out to the woods and began to “turn feral,” but you would be wrong.

You see, I found the gift of unmitigated self focus many years before I moved to the woods, during a time when I was living a completely different lifestyle… a time when I was alone as the only American at a Saudi Arabian university. Bizarre, right?

So, how did I end up studying for an MBA in Dammam, KSA? Well friends, it all started from a fear of debt. You see, all of the American universities I applied to wanted me to dive headfirst into hundreds of thousands of dollars of unforgivable debt just to get a questionably valuable piece of paper. After some research I realized that two countries offered high-level MBAs fully subsidized (free) to accepted foreigners… Finland and Saudi Arabia. And having already braved the cold of Russia for a few years I figured I would give the desert a try.

Fast forward to showing up at the gates of King Fahd University of Petroleum and Minerals at 3 am in one hundred plus degree heat with two duffle bags ready for a two year adventure. I was the only western student with classmates from Yemen, Afghanistan, Egypt, and every other country who had a bone to pick with the USA. My bed was a cement pad in a small dorm connected to a communal block of showers that only flowed rust-colored water. The building itself was flanked by the student mosque where amateur calls to prayer belted over the loudspeaker five times a day. What I quickly realized was that I had stepped into an open air prison, one with limited freedom to travel as my passport was taken from me and I was watched by the Mutawa (religious police) like a hawk everywhere I went.

But, things that seem tough often come with benefits if you are willing to search deep within yourself, and search I did. Instead of tucking my tail and running (which I thought about), I embraced the idea of being in that prison. For the seven months in which I stayed I had time to focus on my true self. I started each day with yoga during the first call to prayer, followed by the first of many workouts. Between classes I would eat surprisingly clean food (think hummus, salads, and meat), read some of the classics I had smuggled into the country, study in the library for the algorithms course that kicked my butt, practice my arabic, workout some more, and then cap the day by setting visions for what I thought my future held.

I followed the same disciplined and lonely routine for seven long months. The same things, the same food, and the same unfriendly faces. Every. Single. Day. And it went like that up until the death threats became too frequent and the consular general advised that I leave (which is a story for another day). Unbeknownst to me, that time being forced to look inward and focus on the self in an austere environment was a primer for my eventual Turning Feral.

Years later when I moved alone to the deep woods of Idaho I was prepared for what the solitude would feel like and I was ready to embrace it. Now, I am not saying that you as a reader need to go and commit a crime to get locked up in order to gain a similar style of extreme alone time (though, I am sure some parents out there have considered that option), but I offer this as an example of how dedicated time to focus on yourself, as much as you can find, is a powder keg in helping you navigate your inner feral self.

Free time to go dive near Iran. Typical Saudi Classroom

Daily Prompt:  When was the last time you spent more than a day alone with your thoughts? No wifi, no connection to others with cell phones, just you and some books. What did you do with that time? How did you feel? How can you find more time like this in your life today?:

Motivational Passage:

Yet it is in this loneliness that the deepest activities begin. It is here that you discover act without motion, labor that is profound repose, vision in obscurity, and, beyond all desire, a fulfillment whose limits extend to infinity.

-Thomas Merton

Rewilding Action: Knife sharpening. This is something I have become passionate about over the years, especially when it comes to skinning knives. However, the art of sharpening started in the kitchen for me. I was frankly tired of grabbing expensive knives out of our drawer only to find myself unable to cut through a tomato or lemon without squishing it instead of slicing it. So, after some quick googling I purchased a diamond steel rod to begin my sharpening journey. I will spare you a how-to guide because google is rife with great videos on this, but keeping our kitchen knives razor sharp was a culinary game changer. Getting this honed bled into other styles of sharpening, but as a reader looking for something to work on while in suburbia… start with the knives in your kitchen!

Thanks for reading Let Me Die Learning! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

Billy the Kid

Day 41: Fast is slow is a phrase that’s been around for eons. I’m not sure where it originated but I always envision a young Billy-the-kid-type standing in front of an old cracked mirror slowly drawing his pistol from its holster over and over again until suddenly, he is the fastest gun-drawer in the world. That kind of consistency and meticulous practice can be absolutely draining, though. It takes a special person to block out all distractions in life and focus on one singular and slow task in order to eventually become the fastest at it.

Though admirable, the reality is most of us aren’t built like that. I know I am not. I have too much of a shiny object syndrome, a perpetual jack(ass) of all trades if you will. I tend to start something with gusto and deliberate practice, but lack the capacity of blocking out all other things to maintain that singular focus long enough to gain expert status. 

It also turns out that I am not alone. Many of my friends and peers seem to suffer from the same ailment, and the symptoms seems to compound as we age… add kids to the mix, careers, mortgages, etc… With all of that added noise, how the heck are we supposed to find dedicated time to focus on new things? Let alone get good at them?

Well it ain't’ pretty, but I think for many of us the phrase should be changed to ‘slow is just slow,’ and we should come to terms with it being OK to go slow. Especially when we accumulate new interests as our lives change and evolve. I mean, what gets your goat now shouldn’t be the same as it was when you were 15, right? Didn’t the slow tortoise win the race against the hare in Aesop's fables? Didn’t Dory in Finding Nemo coin the term ‘just keep going’? 

I know we all want to be experts so fast these days, but it is usually going to be a slow burn. Accepting this has been a tough pill to personally swallow, but it has allowed me to not be as harsh on myself when I look in the mirror. And though I may not become Billy-the-kid-proficient in a lot of my pursuits, as long as I am still slowly pushing then I am gaining something.

I am slow with taxidermy-related task, and I will be slow for a loooonnnng time.

Daily Prompt: Where have you gotten off track on an interest you held? Did you start a fitness plan, diet, or even crocheting? Do you still practice? If not, what veered you off course? What can you do to pick it back up even if it is at a tortoise’ pace?:

Motivational Passage:

I am not the richest, smartest or most talented person in the world, but I succeed because I keep going and going and going.

-Sylvester Stallone

Rewilding Action: Tires. Tires, tires, tires. My wife and I have a weird thing with tires. We tend to put holes in them… often. We pick up everything from ancient nails, sharp rocks, kids toys and this last week? A screwdriver and a push pin… in two separate tires! Yes, you read that right… a fricken screwdriver.

With this kind of track record we have had to be proactive about roadside maintenance to change or limp the car many miles through the backcountry. The solution? You need a kit and higher ply tires (the latter of which is more expensive and I will go over another time). Our kit is pretty simple, we always keep a tire patch kit and a device to inflate tires in the car. For the longest time, I had a tire pump kit that attaches to the car battery which worked well, but for Christman my dad just bought me a Ryobi battery operated inflator which I am excited to try. These things can be a real lifesaver, especially when you are way out in the sticks! See the video below of me limping our side-by-side home after getting a flat tire while pulling traps last week.

Thanks for reading Let Me Die Learning! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

Embrace Desire

Day 40 - For the past several months I have been attending a men’s group that is focused on how to be a better father in a broken world. Recently we have focused on “desire” and what it means. On the surface level, desire is just the function of want or need… I want to pay my bills, I want to live off-grid, or I need to improve my health. All valid examples of desire.

But, with desire comes the need for action and with that action often comes the undeniable reality of not attaining the outcome you wanted. E.g. Your bills remain constantly overdue, you are stuck in your suburban stasis dreaming of your off-grid lifestyle, and you never quite drop the pounds you wanted to.

Then, as those desires are left unfulfilled year after year we move to a place of resignation and cynicism; with that we then lose the connection to what it is we wanted in the first place - which leads a lot of people to depression and the feeling of a slow death on a sinking ship they can’t abandon. 

So, the question becomes how do we not lose heart in the pursuit of our desires in the face of constant let down? I think the first question has to be, ‘are we desiring the right things?’ John Eldridge sums up how to discern shallow desires from deeper spiritual needs in the following quote:

“People [act out] their desires when it’s a matter of life and death. Crowds trample each other to get out of a building; they press into the mob to reach the food line. When life is at stake, and the answer is within reach, that’s when you see human desire unmasked in all its desperation.”

I have thought a lot about this over the past several years since Turning Feral. What was my desire? Was it to ‘own’ land and be equipped to self-sustain my family? Sure, that was the shallow part of my desire (one that has been met by constant let down), but the root of my desire was to live freely.

My desire was to feel as unburdened by societal norms as Andrew Garcia did in the 1870’s during his ‘Rough Trip Through Paradise.’ And boy is it still a work in progress. However, discerning and understanding my true desire has helped separate the wheat from the chaff in managing my expectations in where I thought I would be at this point in life.

Daily Prompt: What are your current desires? If you suddenly put yourself in a life or death situation and asked yourself the previous question, would those desires line up? If not, why do you think that is?:

Motivational Passage:

“Endless invention, endless experiment,

Brings knowledge of motion, but not of stillness;

Knowledge of speech, but not of silence;

Knowledge of words, and ignorance of the Word…

Where is the Life we have lost in living?

Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge?

- T.S. Eliot

Rewilding Action: As we move into winter, I can’t stress enough the importance of high-quality merino wool layers. Whether it’s socks or long underwear, the value you get out of these garments is priceless in cold weather. They wick sweat away and dry out quickly leaving you no worse for the wear. I know I have talked about socks here before, but First Lite has a great long underwear line, called Furnace, that I have been wearing on my trapline and love.

Thanks for reading Let Me Die Learning! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

Boil the Skulls

Day 39: Brain matter, eyeballs, and flesh were littered all around me… No, this wasn’t a flashback to a time of war, but rather a regular ol’ Wednesday night in my front driveway. The massacre scene was the result of my trying to do some euro mounts with skulls I had collected. Normally, I would take skulls to a taxidermist or just sell them at auction, but with nothing better to do after a long day of trapping, I figured I would do what I do best… learn something new, the hard way.

Now, doing a euro mount (or, ‘freedom mount’ as Steve Rinella calls it) can be done a few different ways. The longest and cleanest process is to put your skull(s) into a tank full of dermestid beetles or ants to eat away all of the meat and biological material. However, the quickest way is to boil your skull to get all of the “meat” off the bone, which is what I elected to do.

With low amounts of propane on hand, I decided to start a fire and boil water the old-school way. In a large pot I added five gallons of clean water, just enough to cover the deer, wolf, three beaver, and two marten skulls that were laying in my freezer. With enough wood added to my fire, I was able to get the water to come to a rolling boil. At the two hour mark, I took them out and started the painstaking process of removing hunks of cheek meat, cartilage, and brain matter with my forceps and knife. Some bits were “fall-off-the-bone” tender, but some areas around the gums and eyes were still clinging on to their host and forced me to put them back into the boiling water for a bit longer.

In a perfect world, I would have been able to remove the boiled skulls and give them a light power washing to remove debris from the nasal and brain cavities, but as luck would have it my lone power washer crapped the bed. So, I was forced back to using my forceps, knife, and needle nose pliers for the delicate work. Being the ape that I am, this delicate work was done in a not-so-delicate way. In fact, in my haste I did crack a few of the thinner bones, which I hope will not be too aesthetically displeasing (whoops).

But, with most of the meat gone and the skulls mostly in tact, I took a break for the rest of the evening. The next step will be to degrease the skulls in warm water with a solvent to ensure they do not yellow over time. Then, once dry, I will apply a paste of household peroxide with an over-the-counter bleaching powder to get them as white as possible. It’s a time-intensive process and is definitely the type of dirty job that would make Mike Rowe proud.

Daily Prompt: What is something you have historically outsourced to someone else? Could you try to do it on your own? If so, what material or equipment would you need ?:

Motivational Passage: 

Don't fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.

-Louis E Boone

Rewilding Action: If you have an interest in processing animals on your own for fur, meat, or taxidermy, you need this one item… a chain mail glove! Yup, this is a trick I learned from a local taxidermist who was teaching me to clean bear hides this past March. He used a chain mail glove to pull the hide taught when fleshing and the glove would keep his knife from puncturing his skin. He showed me his hand, which was covered in scars, and mentioned that it took him a long time to learn that the glove was the way to go! If you have a local kitchen supply store, you can pick one up there… here is the brand that I have been using:

Thanks for reading Let Me Die Learning! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

Enjoy the Process

Day 38 - “Ok, so you dropped everything in your life, moved to a cabin in the woods, and began to learn how to live a more self-sustained life… I bet you spend every waking moment immersed in nature and doing the things you want!”

That statement has been muttered to me in some variation over and over since publishing my book. And although it has a broad truth to it, the reality is that sometimes I dread going out in the woods… Crazy right?

Well the crazy thing about romanticizing a way of life, or falling into the envy trap of influencers, is that the reality of any lifestyle is often starkly different than what’s portrayed publicly. Before moving out west I *knew* that the photos of giant elk getting arrowed, wolf trappers stacking dogs, and other outdoor feats coated in a smile were the outcome of a lot of work, but I didn’t truly know what that work looked or felt like.

Unsurprisingly, the work to attain those rare smiling ‘success’ photos is daunting and relentless. And now being on the other side there are some days I do wake up, look at the thermometer that is below zero, and think “Really? This is the life you chose, Zach?” In that moment of self pity I fall back on my discipline, put my thermal underwear on, and head out the door to check traps.

You see, regardless of your pursuit, once you are in the thick of it some elements of things you love to do can become draining or dreadful. In the past, I would rely on sheer discipline to get through the tough days. A prime example, is thinking back to daily 5 am workouts *before* wrestling practice, that was all discipline… but, as I got older I realized that discipline was just a tool to be used alongside something more sustainable… a love for the process. 

Now, admittedly I didn’t have the words for this until reading Jason Khalipa’s newsletter this morning when it all clicked for me (join here). He wrote about how discipline is the backbone to all endeavors, but building an environment that fosters excitement should be the real goal, because without that excitement your discipline will eventually fade. That is spot on.

For me, my move to the most rural town in the lower 48 to hunt and trap is an environment with endless amounts of excitement and opportunity, which affords me the joy of not often needing to employ my discipline to get out and get after it. However, when it is -4* and I have to drive through sketchy terrain to potentially stare down an angry wolf or mountain lion, I fall back on my discipline to get my rear in gear to go do what needs to be done!

Daily Prompt: What areas of your life are you white knuckling it and relying solely on discipline? Is there a way to reframe it so you fall in love with the process and use your discipline more strategically?:

Motivational Passage:

Everything happens for a reason, whether it’s something you’re excited about or not. It’s all for a purpose in the big picture. Enjoy the process knowing it will be used to make you stronger in the long run. 

-Brittany Burgunder

Rewilding Action: Have a young kid? Sometimes getting them outside and on to trails can be difficult, especially if they aren’t used to long hikes. One of the best things my wife and I got when we started our litter was to get a good hiking backpack that can carry our kids. We ended up going with Kelty, and have loved ours. They are quite pricey though, but we found both of ours on facebook marketplace for a steep discount.

The best heavy pack training in the off season.

Thanks for reading Let Me Die Learning! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

What the F*ck am I Doing Here?

Day 37 - What the f*ck am I doing here? That’s a question I was asking myself way too much before I chose to go westward. I was constantly sitting in traffic, standing in long lines at the airport, sleeping in uncomfortable hotel beds, and was always surrounded by hoards of people I did not know. Despite the discomfort, I constantly ignored the deep rooted question in my gut asking, “Is this what life is about?”

Why did I ignore it? Well, that metro-lifestyle is what I had been coached to attain. I was told to outsource everything difficult and focus only on acquiring more ‘things’ because those ‘things’ would ultimately bring me happiness. But, that was all a lie. The only thing that lifestyle brought was a sense of emptiness and an existential dread knowing that I had outsourced so much of my life that if a single pebble dropped in my glass house, it would all come shattering down around me.

And believe me, it did eventually shatter. 

Once it did, I was left with all of the shards around me and I could see that my foundation had been built on nothing. I was not resourceful, I couldn’t fend for myself, and I did not have control over my environment. At that point, I knew I needed to change. No longer would I ignore that inner question of ‘What the f*ck am I doing here?’ Instead I decided to chase a life where I never had to ask that question again. I spoke at length about this in a podcast with my buddy Jim Huntsman, who had asked himself the same question:

See More on Instagram

Daily Prompt: Have you ever questioned yourself on why you are doing something? How did you answer? Did you ignore it the same way I did? If so, take time now to answer that question truthfully… Are you where you want to be?:

Motivational Passage:

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” 

– Alexander Graham Bell

Rewilding Action: It was bound to happen eventually… Let's talk about sourdough. Now to be fair, I know jack-diddly about sourdough other than I love eating it when my wife makes it — especially sourdough cinnamon rolls. But, I do know that getting and caring for a starter is something you can do no matter where you live even if you haven’t been handed one by your mother or grandmother (yes, there used to be generational sourdough starters). Some quick googling and placing an order of Breadtopia’s starter should be able to get you off and running making your own, less-gluten and sugar laden bread!

Thanks for reading Let Me Die Learning! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.