Rachel Manija Brown's Blog, page 89
July 2, 2020
Alternate Universe Exchange Letter
I am a very easy recipient so please don't stress over this. I adore AUs so I am easy to please.
I'm requesting fic for everything. But if anyone feels moved to give me an art treat, that would be delightful!
( General Likes. )
( General DNWs. )
( Dark Tower - Stephen King )
( The Leftovers (TV) )
( The Stand - Stephen King )
( Torchwood )
comments
I'm requesting fic for everything. But if anyone feels moved to give me an art treat, that would be delightful!
( General Likes. )
( General DNWs. )
( Dark Tower - Stephen King )
( The Leftovers (TV) )
( The Stand - Stephen King )
( Torchwood )
comments
June 29, 2020
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June 27, 2020
About my memoir
It's been brought to my attention that my stalker Winterfox aka Requires Hate aka Benjanun Sriduangkaew (etc, etc) has been tweeting about me again. Seriously, everyone, I know she tweets about me! You don't need to tell me!
Apparently this time it's about how my memoir All the Fishes Come Home to Roost, which is about my childhood in an ashram in India, is racist. I've written about this before, but it was a while ago, so I'll say so again: she's not wrong. Parts of it are racist.
It was published in 2005, but due to publishing lags, it was written around 2002-2003, which is eighteen years ago. I have learned a lot since then, and have a lot more still to learn. When I wrote it, I was going on the principle of "It's okay to make fun of everyone equally." But it's not an equal playing field, and a white writer making fun of white people does not have the same impact as a white writer making fun of Indian people. The facts of my childhood are facts; those can't be changed. But the phrasing of the facts was my choice, and a lot of it should have been phrased differently.
I'm not disowning my memoir. There's a lot of it that I think is good. But I've apologized for the hurtful parts before, and since the subject has come up again, I once again apologize to everyone who was hurt by it. The apology stands, and it will always stand.
A lot of life, or at least my life, is about trying to be a better person. That doesn't mean everyone has to like me, or care about my inner struggles. It's okay to not care. It's okay to not like me, for that book or any other reason. It's okay to say that the book is racist, or I'm racist because I wrote the book, or I'm racist in general if that's honestly what you believe.
It's not okay to stalk and harass me like Winterfox has been doing for the last ten years and continues to do. I think it's fair for her to say that book is racist. However, she's also accused me of many, many things that are flat-out lies. For instance, she's called me a pedophile, said I'm pro-child abuse, and just outright made stuff up about me. So if you're getting info about me from Winterfox, I suggest you look into it for yourself. That goes quadruple for info about other writers via Winterfox. If she's saying bad things about women writers of color especially, as they have been her main targets and she lies about them A LOT, for God's sake do your own research. She is not a reliable source.
I don't ask for forgiveness or absolution. But if you're concerned that I'm exactly the same person as I was eighteen years ago, I want to say for the record that I'm not. If you're worried that my truest self is my most asshole moment eighteen years ago, it isn't. And if you want to know if I still believe the most racist things I've ever thought, no, I don't.
I can't promise to never do or say or think anything racist again. I grew up breathing that air, and I know some of it's still in me. The same goes for all the toxic things we breathe in: sexism, homophobia, ableism, classism, ageism, anti-Semitism, etc. The best we can do is to promise to keep trying. I promise that.
comments
Apparently this time it's about how my memoir All the Fishes Come Home to Roost, which is about my childhood in an ashram in India, is racist. I've written about this before, but it was a while ago, so I'll say so again: she's not wrong. Parts of it are racist.
It was published in 2005, but due to publishing lags, it was written around 2002-2003, which is eighteen years ago. I have learned a lot since then, and have a lot more still to learn. When I wrote it, I was going on the principle of "It's okay to make fun of everyone equally." But it's not an equal playing field, and a white writer making fun of white people does not have the same impact as a white writer making fun of Indian people. The facts of my childhood are facts; those can't be changed. But the phrasing of the facts was my choice, and a lot of it should have been phrased differently.
I'm not disowning my memoir. There's a lot of it that I think is good. But I've apologized for the hurtful parts before, and since the subject has come up again, I once again apologize to everyone who was hurt by it. The apology stands, and it will always stand.
A lot of life, or at least my life, is about trying to be a better person. That doesn't mean everyone has to like me, or care about my inner struggles. It's okay to not care. It's okay to not like me, for that book or any other reason. It's okay to say that the book is racist, or I'm racist because I wrote the book, or I'm racist in general if that's honestly what you believe.
It's not okay to stalk and harass me like Winterfox has been doing for the last ten years and continues to do. I think it's fair for her to say that book is racist. However, she's also accused me of many, many things that are flat-out lies. For instance, she's called me a pedophile, said I'm pro-child abuse, and just outright made stuff up about me. So if you're getting info about me from Winterfox, I suggest you look into it for yourself. That goes quadruple for info about other writers via Winterfox. If she's saying bad things about women writers of color especially, as they have been her main targets and she lies about them A LOT, for God's sake do your own research. She is not a reliable source.
I don't ask for forgiveness or absolution. But if you're concerned that I'm exactly the same person as I was eighteen years ago, I want to say for the record that I'm not. If you're worried that my truest self is my most asshole moment eighteen years ago, it isn't. And if you want to know if I still believe the most racist things I've ever thought, no, I don't.
I can't promise to never do or say or think anything racist again. I grew up breathing that air, and I know some of it's still in me. The same goes for all the toxic things we breathe in: sexism, homophobia, ableism, classism, ageism, anti-Semitism, etc. The best we can do is to promise to keep trying. I promise that.
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June 26, 2020
Return to the garden
I am back in LA, tanned and happy and in possession of several dozen farm-fresh eggs, some of which I have already distributed to friends and neighbors. I then spent two hours madly watering and pruning.
Some garden shots. The lavender flowers are from a potato. Some of my potatoes died in a heat wave, alas. I am hoping to salvage the cucumbers, which were badly affected. When I pulled up a dead potato plant, though, I found two baby potatoes! A harvest!
Harvest. The "crystal melon" is also known as a lemon cucumber. I ate the cucumber and carrot raw, sautéed the potatoes and chard (sequentially in the same pan), and ate them with a fried double-yolked egg from the chooks.
This is everything I wanted.
It feels strange and insensitive to say that I'm happy, considering everything going on. But I am, in between periods of panic and rage and stir-craziness and numbness and so forth. I'm in such a better place than my three years of absolute personal hell. Even if I do end up dying of covid-19 (I'm high-risk), I feel that I'd be much more OK with that than I would if I'd died then, which would have essentially been because I couldn't get doctors to believe that I was actually sick.
At this point, I have the world's best cats, a beautiful garden that's already starting to feed me and others, an eager audience for my writing, and a business that's providing financial stability to me and others... self-publishing my id-tastic romance novels about traumatized shapeshifters and their pet flying kittens.
And those flying kittens bring me enough money that I can do some good with it, from donating to organizations like OutRight to helping out some individuals. Other people helped me so much, in so many ways, from paying for my medication to letting me live with them for months to finding a treatment to simply believing in me, when I was in no shape to give anything to anyone else, literally or emotionally. It feels really good to be in a place where I can give some of that back.
A garden symbolizes hope. It symbolizes the possibility of new life. It symbolizes persistence. But it's not just a symbol. It's a real thing. Put a seed in dirt, water it and tend it, and a sprout may grow. If it doesn't, try again, or somewhere else. When you get a sprout, keep watering (but not too much) and pick off the bugs, but don't be surprised if one morning you wake up and bugs ate the entire thing, or someone pulled it up. Try again, maybe in a different place. Use some bug spray, or maybe try a different plant. If you don't give up, eventually you'll learn how to tend your seeds, and one day you'll have a harvest that will feed you and others.
comments
Some garden shots. The lavender flowers are from a potato. Some of my potatoes died in a heat wave, alas. I am hoping to salvage the cucumbers, which were badly affected. When I pulled up a dead potato plant, though, I found two baby potatoes! A harvest!
Harvest. The "crystal melon" is also known as a lemon cucumber. I ate the cucumber and carrot raw, sautéed the potatoes and chard (sequentially in the same pan), and ate them with a fried double-yolked egg from the chooks.
This is everything I wanted.
It feels strange and insensitive to say that I'm happy, considering everything going on. But I am, in between periods of panic and rage and stir-craziness and numbness and so forth. I'm in such a better place than my three years of absolute personal hell. Even if I do end up dying of covid-19 (I'm high-risk), I feel that I'd be much more OK with that than I would if I'd died then, which would have essentially been because I couldn't get doctors to believe that I was actually sick.
At this point, I have the world's best cats, a beautiful garden that's already starting to feed me and others, an eager audience for my writing, and a business that's providing financial stability to me and others... self-publishing my id-tastic romance novels about traumatized shapeshifters and their pet flying kittens.
And those flying kittens bring me enough money that I can do some good with it, from donating to organizations like OutRight to helping out some individuals. Other people helped me so much, in so many ways, from paying for my medication to letting me live with them for months to finding a treatment to simply believing in me, when I was in no shape to give anything to anyone else, literally or emotionally. It feels really good to be in a place where I can give some of that back.
A garden symbolizes hope. It symbolizes the possibility of new life. It symbolizes persistence. But it's not just a symbol. It's a real thing. Put a seed in dirt, water it and tend it, and a sprout may grow. If it doesn't, try again, or somewhere else. When you get a sprout, keep watering (but not too much) and pick off the bugs, but don't be surprised if one morning you wake up and bugs ate the entire thing, or someone pulled it up. Try again, maybe in a different place. Use some bug spray, or maybe try a different plant. If you don't give up, eventually you'll learn how to tend your seeds, and one day you'll have a harvest that will feed you and others.
comments
June 24, 2020
I have now rescued six small spotted frogs from my cats
Or maybe I've rescued the same frog six times. Hard to say. Is it suspicious that I have never rescued more than one frog at the same time?
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June 23, 2020
99 degrees
I have a small ice pack balanced on my head right now.
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Spring froggie?
I just rescued a small spotted frog from the cats. It is the fifth frog I have rescued so far. I still can't figure out how they're getting in.
(I'm still in Mariposa. It would be far more of a mystery if I was in my second-floor apartment in LA.)
Some day my prince will come...
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(I'm still in Mariposa. It would be far more of a mystery if I was in my second-floor apartment in LA.)
Some day my prince will come...
comments
June 11, 2020
Eat, Drink, and Make Merry Sign-Ups close today!
If you've been thinking of signing up for Eat, Drink, and Make Merry, today is the last day!
It's a low-pressure (500-word minimum for fic, a sketch on unlined paper for art) fanfic and original fiction exchange based on food and drink. Assignments are due July 19.
I think it will be extremely cheering and comforting to read about my favorite characters getting a good meal for once, having adventures with sourdough starter, or being faced with "these cans have no labels so dinner will be whatever is in them when we open them." Not to mention original fiction starring Caterer for the Dead/Ghost Planning Dead Day Party, Neolithic Beermaker/Neolithic Beer Aficionado, or Professional Chef Trying To Get Laid/Michelin Inspector Who Thinks He's Been Made.
Who's in?
comments
It's a low-pressure (500-word minimum for fic, a sketch on unlined paper for art) fanfic and original fiction exchange based on food and drink. Assignments are due July 19.
I think it will be extremely cheering and comforting to read about my favorite characters getting a good meal for once, having adventures with sourdough starter, or being faced with "these cans have no labels so dinner will be whatever is in them when we open them." Not to mention original fiction starring Caterer for the Dead/Ghost Planning Dead Day Party, Neolithic Beermaker/Neolithic Beer Aficionado, or Professional Chef Trying To Get Laid/Michelin Inspector Who Thinks He's Been Made.
Who's in?
comments
June 9, 2020
Her Magical Pet and His Magical Pet: Two Queer Fantasy Anthologies... With Pets!
It's that time again! I'm putting together two anthologies to benefit OutRight Action International. Feel free to let your friends or f-list know.
Guidelines
Stories must feature two male-identifying or two female-identifying people in a romantic relationship, which can either be established or occur during the story. Sex, explicit or otherwise, is fine but not required. The romance must end happily.
The story must be urban, contemporary, or paranormal fantasy. That is, it must be set in some version of our world rather than a completely different one like Middle Earth.
The story must involve a pet. The pet can be magical (flying kitten, baaaaby griffin, dragon, etc) or real-world. If the pet is a normal pet, other elements of the story must involve fantasy, such as a magical amulet, wizards, shifters, etc.
The pet cannot die. There can be no animal harm in the story, with the following exceptions: it can be mentioned that baby animals were orphaned, and sick or injured animals can be rescued. No heavy focus on details of pet illness or injury. For instance, finding and adopting a flying kitten with an injured wing is fine, but no gory details of the injury.
Stories must be a minimum of 3000 words. There is no maximum wordcount.
Deadline: October 1.
Publication date: October 15.
Terms: All profits from the anthology will be donated in perpetuity to OutRight Action International. Stories must be exclusive to the anthology for three months from the publication date. After that, you may reprint and/or resell them anywhere you like.
Contact: Rachel Manija Brown at Rphoenix2@gmail.com. Please contact me before you write the story!
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Guidelines
Stories must feature two male-identifying or two female-identifying people in a romantic relationship, which can either be established or occur during the story. Sex, explicit or otherwise, is fine but not required. The romance must end happily.
The story must be urban, contemporary, or paranormal fantasy. That is, it must be set in some version of our world rather than a completely different one like Middle Earth.
The story must involve a pet. The pet can be magical (flying kitten, baaaaby griffin, dragon, etc) or real-world. If the pet is a normal pet, other elements of the story must involve fantasy, such as a magical amulet, wizards, shifters, etc.
The pet cannot die. There can be no animal harm in the story, with the following exceptions: it can be mentioned that baby animals were orphaned, and sick or injured animals can be rescued. No heavy focus on details of pet illness or injury. For instance, finding and adopting a flying kitten with an injured wing is fine, but no gory details of the injury.
Stories must be a minimum of 3000 words. There is no maximum wordcount.
Deadline: October 1.
Publication date: October 15.
Terms: All profits from the anthology will be donated in perpetuity to OutRight Action International. Stories must be exclusive to the anthology for three months from the publication date. After that, you may reprint and/or resell them anywhere you like.
Contact: Rachel Manija Brown at Rphoenix2@gmail.com. Please contact me before you write the story!
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A Song for a New Day, by Sarah Pinsker: Read-Along
There were, to my knowledge, one hundred and seventy-two ways to wreck a hotel room. We had brainstormed them all in the van over the last eight months on the road. As a game, I'd thought: 61, turn all the furniture upside down; 83, release a pack of feral cats; 92, fill all the drawers with beer, or marbles, 93; 114, line the floor with soapy plastic and turn it into a slip 'n slide, et cetera, et cetera.
In my absence, my band had come up with the one hundred and seventy-third, and had for the first time added in a test run. I was not proud.
In this book, which was published in 2019 and won the Nebula award in 2020, a pandemic causes permanent social distancing; this is seen through the eyes of two people in the music world, a musician and a fan. Partway in I checked Sarah Pinsker's bio to see if she was a musician, because the parts involving live performance felt so believable and lived-in. Yep!
I'm 13 chapters in so far, and this is absolutely compelling reading. The premise is dark and obviously unsettlingly close to current events, but the reading experience doesn't feel depressing. It feels very living and vibrant and human and real. Both main characters are queer women, and one of them is Jewish (I think non-practicing.).
There's a read-along going on here. Come on in!
A Song for a New Day[image error]
[image error] [image error]
comments
In my absence, my band had come up with the one hundred and seventy-third, and had for the first time added in a test run. I was not proud.
In this book, which was published in 2019 and won the Nebula award in 2020, a pandemic causes permanent social distancing; this is seen through the eyes of two people in the music world, a musician and a fan. Partway in I checked Sarah Pinsker's bio to see if she was a musician, because the parts involving live performance felt so believable and lived-in. Yep!
I'm 13 chapters in so far, and this is absolutely compelling reading. The premise is dark and obviously unsettlingly close to current events, but the reading experience doesn't feel depressing. It feels very living and vibrant and human and real. Both main characters are queer women, and one of them is Jewish (I think non-practicing.).
There's a read-along going on here. Come on in!
A Song for a New Day[image error]
[image error] [image error]
comments
