Selena Robins's Blog, page 3

Navigating the Empty Chair during the Holidays

This coming holiday season will be the sixth without the love of my life. I’m still a work in progress, piloting through this new life I never wanted. Still, I have found ways that have helped me adjust, cope, and embrace the power of choice, and I’m sharing them in the hopes that they may help someone struggling with navigating grief during the holiday season.

Please remember that the suggestions for coping strategies will vary from person to person, so figuring out what works best for you is essential because there are no quick fixes to healing the grief within us or easy answers.

From the twenty-four cycle of Hallmark movies, love stories of power-suit-wearing city women moving to the small town to fall in love with the local tree farmer, to the decorations lining streets and shopping centers, it’s a never-ending reminder of past celebrations and traditions intertwining with the reality that we will be looking at an empty chair around the holiday table.

However, within the depths of grief, I’ve realized an incredible resilience within me, as I found it possible to find relief, strength, and even moments of laughter and joy during the holidays.

At times, it did feel like I was amid a slapstick comedy where the punchlines are delivered with a side of loss and loneliness for my beloved husband, who was again missing more memory-making milestones with our family and friends. I laughed and smiled through the tears as I’ve said in past articles regarding life as a widow, grief can and does co-exist with joy.

With time and adjustment, amidst the chaotic merriment, collapsed gingerbread house mishaps, and relatives donning absurd looking Christmas sweaters, you can and will experience fun and laughter. And it’s OK to laugh and celebrate with family and friends or alone. And, It’s OK to create new traditions.

And you know what? It’s also OK to be a mess. It’s also OK to skip everything this year. It’s also OK to cry. I’ve smiled through the tears many times, and even writing this blog post, I tear up at times, and that’s OK because widowhood is filled with so many emotional landmines, and to deny those emotions is cheating ourselves, so we let it out, whenever and however we choose.

There is no right or wrong way to handle the holidays. What’s right for me may not be adjustable to someone else. There is so much beyond our control, but how we celebrate any holiday is totally in our control.

It’s OK to take that control and keep it, and spend the holidays any way you want, as long as it’s your choice.

You and you alone are the only ones who will know what you need and want. Nobody (no family, friends, or well-meaning acquaintance) is allowed to dictate how you feel, what this holiday should look like, what you should or shouldn’t do, what you should cook, bake, not cook, not bake, gift, or not gift. It’s OK to do what YOU choose to do.

Let this holiday season be a time of reflection and self-compassion, and embrace what brings you peace and comfort.

Self-care starts with being gentle with yourself, especially during your vulnerable moments, and allowing yourself the time and space to grieve in whatever feels right for you.

It’s the most chocolatey time of the year.

There’s nothing like the sweet aroma of rich, silky chocolate drifting from your kitchen, or in my case, rich, smooth chocolate splashed across my apron, smudged on my cheeks, cocoa powder sprinkled on my countertops, and mysteriously chocolate splatters on my ceiling fan.

But even if you’re like me and resemble a cocoa-covered maniac living in a chocolatier’s explosion for a few hours, the rewards and clean-up are worth every messy moment.

What we’ll be baking:

Bacon Chocolate Chip Sugar CookiesPeanut Butter Chocolate CupsPaper-thin, Feather-light Crepes with Chocolate SauceChocolate-Insert your Favorite Liqueur-TrufflesSaltine Cracker Toffee (aka “Christmas Crack”)

Bacon Chocolate Chip Sugar Cookies

Ingredients:

4 slices maple-cured bacon, cooked crisp, crumbled
2 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp salt
1 1/3 cup unsalted butter, softened
2 cups sugar
1/4 cup sugar (set this aside)
2 eggs
2 tsp vanilla
1 cup good quality semi-sweet chocolate chips — you can use milk chocolate if you prefer; your choice

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).

In a bowl, stir together flour, baking soda, and salt, then set aside

In a separate bowl, cream together butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Beat the eggs individually, then add the bacon bits and vanilla. Gradually stir in the dry ingredients until just blended.

Roll the cookie dough into walnut-sized balls and roll the balls in 1/4 cup of sugar.

Place cookies 2 inches apart onto a cookie sheet with parchment paper (or un-greased cookie sheet), flatten slightly, or use your favorite cookie cutter to make different shapes.

Bake for 8 to 10 minutes, until lightly browned at the edges.

Allow cookies to cool on a baking sheet for 5 minutes, then remove and cool on a wire rack.

Remove from the baking sheet and decorate with your favorite icing.

Sprinkle the chocolate chips on top of each cookie so they stick to the icing.

Peanut Butter Chocolate Cups

Ingredients:

12 ounces Belgian Milk Chocolate (trust me, it’s worth the investment)
1 cup creamy peanut butter
paper or foiled candy cups
have your candy cups lined up and ready to be filled

Directions:

In a glass measuring cup, add chocolate about ½ way in the cup and microwave on medium-high (for 1 minute, take out and stir and then put back in for another 30 seconds). Stir the chocolate until it’s all melted.

When melted, immediately pour the chocolate into foiled cups, filling them only halfway.

Let the chocolate cool and harden.

Once hardened, add a dollop of peanut butter in the center of each cup. Top with melted chocolate.

Let them cool, and then store in the fridge.

Paper Thin, Feather-Light Crepes with Chocolate Sauce

Ingredients:

1 cup unbleached all-purpose flour
2 TBSP sugar
1/2 tsp. salt
2 eggs, lightly beaten
1 1/2 cups milk
1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
1 tsp. ground cinnamon
1 1/2 TBSP unsalted butter, melted
1 cup good quality dark chocolate (or milk chocolate)

Directions:

Whisk together flour, sugar, salt, cinnamon, and cocoa in a bowl.

Use a separate bowl to add eggs, vanilla, and 1/2 cup of milk and mix well together.

Gradually add the dry mixture to the wet mixture, whisking continuously.

Then, gradually add the remaining milk, still whisking continuously.

Whisk in the melted butter.

Heat your skillet over medium-high heat.

Ensure your crepe batter is smooth.

Once the skillet is ready, add the batter to the center of the skillet. Tilt the pan to spread the batter evenly until the bottom is covered. When the edges peel off easily and begin to brown, use a spatula and flip the crepe over (carefully). Continue on the other side for about 20 – 30 seconds until lightly browned.

Remove from skillet, put on a plate, and make your next one. Cover each crepe with some aluminum foil until you are all done.

Melt chocolate in a double boiler until smooth and creamy. Remove from heat.

Spread your filling over the crepe, roll it tightly, and top it with melted chocolate.

Crepe Filling:

Strawberries, blueberries, or if you don’t have fresh berries, then berry jam or jelly. You can also top it with whipped cream or ice cream sprinkled with chocolate chips, raisins, or nuts.

Use your imagination, as anything goes when it comes to enjoying crepes.

Chocolate-Insert your Favorite Liqueur-Truffles

Ingredients:

6 ounces good quality dark chocolate
2 TBSP of unsalted butter
2 TBSP heavy cream
6 TBSPS of (choose one: Rum, Bourbon, Grand Marnier Bailey’s, or any other liqueur you like to pair with chocolate)
1 pound confectionary sugar (also known as icing sugar)
Powdered chocolate and/or chopped nuts

Optional:  2 tsp. Cayenne pepper (I love the sweet and spicy mixture, so if you’re adventurous, give this a try, or roll in chili peppers)

Directions:

Get all your ingredients out and measured, ready to go, and cut a sheet of parchment paper on your working surface.

Using a double boiler, melt the chocolate, but DO NOT let it become too hot. Put it on medium-low, just enough to melt the chocolate nicely, while you stir with a wooden spoon.

Add the butter. Mix well until the butter is melted.

Add the Liqueur you have chosen plus the cream and mix well.

Gradually fold in the powdered sugar, stirring it into the chocolate (you may not even need the whole pound of sugar). What you’re looking for is a soft paste to be formed.

Turn the heat off.

Using a melon baller (or a teaspoon), form the chocolate into little balls, then roll in the chocolate powder (you can move some in chopped nuts) and put them on the parchment paper. Let them cool, and then store them in a tight-fitting glass jar.

Saltine Cracker Toffee (aka “Christmas Crack”)

Ingredients:

40 (or more if needed) Saltine Crackers (salted)
1 Cup Butter (unsalted)
1 Cup Brown Sugar
2 Cups of Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips (or milk or dark chocolate chips, your choice)

Directions:

Preheat oven to 400F

Line a cookie sheet with as many of the Saltine Crackers as it will take to fill your cookie sheet (approx. 40).

Please note: Do not overlap, and do not place the crackers on each other.

Add butter and brown sugar in a pot, stir the mixture, and boil. Once the mix is boiling, continue stirring for three minutes. The mixture should be a deep caramel color.

Remove the pot from heat and immediately pour the mixture over the Saltine Crackers, ensuring that every single cracker is covered by the caramel mixture.

Bake in preheated oven for 5 to 6 minutes. The crackers should look all bubbly.

Remove the tray from the oven, immediately sprinkle the chocolate chips over the top, and let it sit for a few minutes to allow the chocolate to melt. Once the chocolate has melted, spread the melted chocolate to cover all the crackers.

Allow the crackers to cool completely, then break them into pieces or use a knife to cut them into pieces.

Upping your fruit salad game one exotic fruit at a time.

This fruit salad recipe with its sweet and tangy raspberry honey vinaigrette will have you embarking on a whimsical, and exotic journey for your taste buds.

I serve this dish as an appetizer at times because I’m adventurously rebellious like that. Plus, as the appetizer, it prepares the palate for the next course.

Whether you want to enjoy it before a meal, after a meal, or in- between as a snack, this will fulfill your sweet tooth and savory tooth with the added benefits of antioxidants.

Raspberry Honey Vinaigrette

Ingredients:

1 cup fresh, washed raspberries (you can also use frozen)
1/3 cup extra virgin olive oil
3 TBSP honey
2 TBSP red wine vinegar
1 minced shallot
1/4 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. freshly ground black pepper

Directions:

Add all the ingredients to a blender and blend on high speed until smooth.

Taste it and adjust according to your personal taste. If you want it to sweeter, add more honey, or if you’d like more tartness, add a splash more of the vinegar.

Cover with saran wrap and chill for about an hour. Leftover dressing can be stored in an airtight mason jar or container.

And now it’s time to put the fruit salad together.

Vibrant Fruit Salad

Ingredients:

Measure the fruit with your heart and make as little or as much as you want. This salad stores well in the refrigerator in an airtight container.

These are the fruits I’ve used, but as always, you are welcome to substitute for any ingredients to suit your own taste.

Papaya
Dragon Fruit
Kiwi
Peaches

Directions:

Cut up the fruit in bite size pieces and put into a bowl and mix gently.

Scoop into individual bowls, then drizzle with the dressing.

Elastic Waist Bands, Family & Good Friends

It’s Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada, and another holiday where family and friends gather ’round the to table eat, drink and express gratitude.

This is my fifth year, navigating Thanksgiving as a widow. Getting through another holiday without the love of my life is like trying to stuff a turkey, peel potatoes and dice onions while riding a unicycle–a bit challenging as you can see.

However, it does have its moments of solititude and another opporutnity to reflect on cherished Thanksgivings gone by.

Smiling at the memories of his quirks; my beloved saved a slice of pumpkin pie for next day’s breakfast, not to mention he snuck a piece before dinner, just in case he was too full from turkey.

Smiling at the misadventures like the year the turkey wouldn’t thaw in time for some reason, and there was no way it was going to be ready for dinner, so pizza and wings with traditional sides was that year’s feast.

As a child of Italian immigrants, growing up, our table consisted of an antipasta platter, lasagna, meatballs, and enough vegetables to feed a football stadium. Turkey and stuffing were side dishes.

Over the years we have veered toward a more traditional Thanksgiving feast.

It’s basically the same as the scrumptious fare our neighbours to the south enjoy, with a few Canadian tweaks. Glazing our turkey with maple syrup (since the stuff does flow through our veins), Tourtière (French Canadian dish) served with tomato chutney, and of course mashed potatos, and a cornucopia of autumn vegetables.

An attitude of gratitude is part of my daily living, and on Thanksgiving, I add a few more to my list.

I am thankful for Godiva chocolate. Their treats are like an orgasm for the taste buds and it makes me feel good.

I’m thankful I can feel good at times.

I am thankful for the designers of nice pants with elastic waistbands.

I am thankful that since Hollywood already bastardized Bewitched there doesn’t appear to be any news that they’ll turn Cheers into a movie, because that shit would be so wrong, on so many levels.

I am thankful for the existence of Pomegranates. I am thankful I can spell and say that word and thankful I can appreciate delicious fruit.

I am thankful for Facebook, because without it, I wouldn’t know what people are having for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

I am thankful for my sense of humor, warped as it is at times.

I am thankful for my family—immediate, not so immediate, blood-related and bonus family members. Family near and far. I love you all, you’re the reason that I wake up feeling grateful each and every day.

I am thankful for good friendships, both online and physical, they are supportive, witty, we laugh, we cry, we share, we just plain have a ton of fun. I love you all.

I am thankful gor my eighth grade teacher, Mr. Spooner, who gave me the nickname Scout after one of my favorite fictional characters, and encouraged me to write.

I am thankful for the readers who plunk down their hard-earned money to buy my books.

I am thankful for my hairbrush which makes a great microphone when I’m singing into it.

I am thankful for all the unsung heroes: Nivea moisturizer, hockey, sanitary workers, farmers, doctors, nurses, police, fire fighters, military men & women, volunteer workers, daycare workers, teachers. . .the list is endless.

I am thankful for all of you who follow this blog, comment and for all of you who have stuck with me today and read this far.

Fall Into Baking

Nothing says autumn like the mouthwatering scent of  home baking, and happy to share this carrot-banana bread recipe.

I’ve been tinkering with this recipe and have finally nailed an irresistable version, that is not only basic, fast and easy, but also very forgiving and allows you to tinker with it yourself so you can substitute your own ingredients.

For example:
You could substitute grated zucchini for the carrots, or add your favorite nuts and seeds, and substitute honey for the maple syrup, or you could just follow the recipe below.

Fall in Love with Autumn:
Irresistible Banana-Carrot Bread

Ingredients:

3 ripe bananas, mashed
1/4 cup unsalted butter, melted
1/2  cup maple syrup
1/2 cup light brown sugar
1 tsp. vanilla
2 eggs, beaten
1 cup carrots, shredded
1/2 cup unsalted pumpkin seeds
1/2 cup chopped walnuts
2 cups all purpose flour
1 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. baking powder

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350F

Spray a loaf pan with non-stick spray and set aside, or line your loaf pan with parchment paper.

In a large bowl add each of these ingredients one at a time, stirring each time you add the ingredient: mashed bananas, butter, maple syrup, brown sugar, vanilla, eggs, shredded carrots, pumpkin seeds, walnuts. Mix well.

In another bowl add: flour, cinnamon, salt, baking powder, then mix well.

Fold in the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients and stir just until the flour is moistened.

Bake for 50 – 60 minutes or until a tookpick inserted in the center comes out clean.

Cool for five minutes, then turn loaf onto a wire rack to cool completely.

A Healthy & Sweet start to your Day

This summer I took a road trip with three of my girlfriends and hit the road to explore a few cities in Ontario. One of our stops was to picturesque Niagara-on-the-Lake.

With its charming streets, delectable cuisine, and a dash of history, this quaint town became the backdrop for a weekend of sheer delight and endless laughter.

On our way back to our home base (Niagara Falls) we stopped off at a local fruit farm where there were freshly picked peaches for sale. We loaded up with baskets of their delectable sweet peaches.

Besides snacking on the juicy, aromatic fruit, they are also a delight to bake with, and I am sharing one of my favourite breakfast (which also doubles as dessert) peach recipes.

Peach Crisp

Ingredients:

8 peaches, washed pitted and sliced
½ cups oats
2 TBSP wheat germ
2 TBSP ground flax seed
2 TBSP chia seeds
¼ cup walnuts (or almonds or any of your favourite nuts)
1 tsp cinnamon
3 TBSP maple syrup (or honey)
3 TBSP orange juice

Directions:

Pre-heat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Slightly grease an 8 x 8 baking dish (or pan) with butter (or you can use non-stick spray).

Spread the sliced peaches evenly on the bottom of the dish.

In a bowl, combine the oats, wheat germ, flax, chia, cinnamon, nuts, maple syrup, and orange juice and mix well together.

Spread oat mixture over the peaches evenly.

Bake for 30 to 35 minutes until the oats brown and the peaches start bubbling.

Serve warm for breakfast.

Or serve as a dessert.
It’s delicious with a scoop of vanilla frozen yogurt or vanilla ice cream.

Lemon-Rosemary-Olive Oil-Loaf Delight

When life hands you lemons–bake with them.

It’s really that simple, and this easy to make loaf that I’m sharing, is not only simple, but zesty, aromatic and best of all a flavor bomb for the palate.

The ingredients are staples you probably have in your fridge and pantry, and if you don’t have a certain ingredient, then substitute and experiment, because baking is all about having fun and trying new things.

If you don’t like a certain ingredient (for example: olives), leave them out, or if you’d like to add nuts (for example: top it off with walnuts, then go for it).

Lemon-Rosemary-Olive Oil-Loaf

Ingredients:

1 3/4 cup un-bleached flour
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 cup white sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar, packed
1 large egg, beaten
3 TBSP fresh rosemary, chopped
1/2 cup extra-virgin olive oil
1 cup boiling water
1 lemon, (grated)
Juice of one fresh lemon
1 cup kalamata olives, roughly chopped (or green olives if that’s your jam)
1/2 tsp. salt

Optional: Walnuts (or any other nut as a topping)

Directions:

Heat oven to 350 F

Line a loaf pan with parchment paper, or if you don’t want to use parchment paper, lightly grease the pan.

Pour the boiling water in a bowl then add the lemon rind, and let sit until the water is cool.

When the water is cool, add the beaten egg, white sugar, brown sugar, lemon juice and olive oil, and mix well.

In a separate bowl, add: flour, baking soda, salt, olives and and mix well.

Add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients and blend well.

Pour into loaf pan and bake for 50 – 60 minutes, or until a wooden skewer comes out clean when inserted in the center.

When done, place on a cooling rack until it cools off.

This loaf is delicious with or without a glaze, however, if you want to kick up the tang of lemony freshness and hike the sweetness a notch, then while your loaf is baking:

In a medium bowl combine: 1 cup of icing (confectioners’) sugar and 2 to 3 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon.

Whisk until smooth, and add more lemon juice if needed until you get a smooth, pourable glaze.

Drizzle over your loaf when it is cool.

Top 10 Creative Life Tricks

1. Revive limp celery by standing it up in an ice-cold glass of water. Please note: This ONLY works for celery. 

2. If your significant other is mad, put a cape on them and tell them they are now “super mad.” If they laugh, they’re a keeper.

3. Every time we make stupid people famous, a unicorn dies. Don’t do it.

4. Master the art of self-deprecating humor–it leads to appreciating all humor

5. If you get into an argument with your significant other. Suggest you both get naked, sit on the bed, hold hands and then continue the argument.

6. To keep cake moist, eat it all in one sitting.

7. Parents can always make their children behave in public, simply threaten to sing loudly.

8. For cheap entertainment, go to a shopping mall, stop, and stare at the ceiling, and check out how many other people will stop and stare.

9. Don’t throw away your old electric toothbrush head, it makes an amazing jewelry cleaner.

10. Insert light bulb into old doll heads and put them in your guest rooms as night lights. (Only for unwanted relatives). Yes, that’s mean, but then again, you won’t have to worry about them overstaying or returning.

Please feel free to share your creative life tricks.

Savour a Canadian Recipe & Discover Canadian Talent

To celebrate Canada Day, I’m sharing a true north recipe; Bannock Bread.

Many of our Indigenous people adopted this simple fried bread that was brought over by the Scottish, and it’s quite popular with many Canadians today.

It doesn’t require yeast, so there is no rising time, it is quick and easy and made with humble pantry ingredients that everyone has in their home.

Ingredients:

6 cups, all purpose flour
6 TBSP baking powder
1 tsp. salt
3.5 cups warm water (not hot, about 100 F)
1/4 cup vegetable oil (I use olive oil, but vegetable is traditional)
vegetable oil for frying

Directions: (I’ve also included the baked version below)

In a large bowl, mix together flour, baking powder and salt.

Add the oil and whisk together with a fork, then gradually add the water, stirring until the dough until it holds together.

The dough will be sticky, and if it’s too sticky, and be careful not to overmix.

Lightly flour a clean surface and move the dough to this surface, and knead gently, only until the dough comes together.

Do not overknead this dough and there is not need to add extra flour, it’s supposed to be sticky.

Break off pieces of the dough and flatten with the palm of your hand.

Heat oil on medium and then fry each dough piece until it’s a golden brown, then turn and cook other side.

Drain on paper towel.



BAKED VERSION:

Preheat oven to 400F

Shape the dough into a rough circle.
Place dough on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper.
Bake for 35-45 minutes or until it is a beautiful golden brown.
Check for doneness with a toothpick, it should come out clean.

Serve warm or room temperature.

Tastes great on its own or as a sandwich bread.

Celebrate Canada day with us by picking up a wonderful Canadian beach read.

Click here for more wonderful Canadian authors.

Rise & Dine with a Fluffy Focaccia Recipe

Light and fluffy, Focaccia (pronounced — foh/KAHT/tchah) is a flat Italian bread with a crisp, salty, with air pockets that gives it a slight chewy texture. It’s made with olive oil, herbs and topped with minimal ingredients.

Let’s get baking. . .

Ingredients:

1 tsp. honey
4 TBSP fresh rosemary
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 package active dry yeast (1 ½ tsp.)
1 tsp. salt
1 cup warm water
3 TBSP olive oil (good quality extra virgin olive oil is best to use)
1 medium potato, peeled and chopped
sea salt to taste

Steps:

Boil the peeled potato until tender. Drain, and mash well or pass through a potato ricer. Set aside to let cool.

In a small bowl, dissolve honey and yeast in 1/3 cup of warm water (100 F), then put a cloth over the bowl and let stand for about 10 minutes.

You can use a stand mixer or knead by hand. Your choice.

In a large bowl add: flour and salt mix together.

Add the yeast mixture to the flour bowl; stir well to combine.

Add the mashed potato and rosemary and work into the dough, and then add one tablespoon at a time of the warm water (adding the water one tablespoon at a time, will ensure you don’t make the dough too wet) until all of the flour is absorbed.

When the dough is pliable, (not too wet and not too dry) turn it out onto a lightly floured surface.

Knead for 2 – 3 minutes.

Lightly oil a large bowl.

Place the dough in the bowl and turn to coat the dough with oil.

Cover the bowl with a damp cloth and let rise in a warm place until doubled in volume. Takes about 30 – 40 minutes.

Preheat oven to 475 degrees F.

Take the dough out of the bowl and turn it out onto a lightly floured surface; knead briefly.

Pat or roll the dough on to a lightly greased baking sheet. (You could also use a baking sheet lined with parchment paper).

Using your thumbs, press into the dough so there are little thumb print-like marks on the dough.

Brush the dough with extra-virgin olive oil and sprinkle lightly with sea-salt.

At this point, you can choose to leave as is, or add black olives, and cherry tomato’s. Or use your imagination, but remember, this is not pizza, so keep the toppings minimal.

Bake Focaccia in preheated oven for 20 to 30 minutes. Depends on how crispy you want the bread.

Enjoy!