Mark McLaughlin's Blog: Revenge of the B-Movie Monster, page 9

My Trilogy of Horrors

I've always wanted to write a set of story collections addressing my three great loves: zombie stories, Lovecraftian stories, and seriously weird, dark horror tales. And here are those collections, released by Wildside Press:

HIDEOUS FACES, BEAUTIFUL SKULLS: http://www.amazon.com/Hideous-Faces-Beautiful-Skulls-McLaughlin/dp/1479401889/

GoodReads page: Hideous Faces, Beautiful Skulls

BEST LITTLE WITCH-HOUSE IN ARKHAM: http://www.amazon.com/Best-Little-Witch-House-Arkham-McLaughlin/dp/143444208X/

GoodReads page: Best Little Witch-House in Arkham

BEACH BLANKET ZOMBIE: http://www.amazon.com/Beach-Blanket-Zombie-Humanoid-Horrors/dp/1434440990/

GoodReads page: Beach Blanket Zombie: Weird Tales of the Undead and Other Humanoid Horrors

I also did the covers (I worked as a professional graphic designer for many years). Each book has a staring abomination on the cover: a one-eyed zombie, a two-eyed witch-creature, and a three-eyed cosmic beast. Each monster has a different source of celestial fire: sunlight, moonlight, and lightning. You'll also find plenty of additional monsters inside all of the books, too....

Your Chance to Win a FREE Copy of HIDEOUS FACES, BEAUTIFUL SKULLS

Above you will see the cover art of my new story collection, HIDEOUS FACES, BEAUTIFUL SKULLS, from Wildside Press.

Here is a link to the GoodReads page for the book: Hideous Faces, Beautiful Skulls. Visit the book's page and enter a Goodreads contest, via the notice posted there, for a chance to win a FREE trade paperback copy of the book!

News Update (3/8/14): HIDEOUS FACES, BEAUTIFUL SKULLS is now available for Kindle, via the following links:

US: http://www.amazon.com/Hideous-Faces-B...

UK: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Hideous-Faces...

In HIDEOUS FACES, BEAUTIFUL SKULLS, a collection of thirty stories of horror and the bizarre, you shall enter a boundless realm of dark magic and twisted love. In this collection, you will encounter monsters aplenty: magic zombies, evil cats, alien lovers, aquatic humanoids, a vicious Egyptian monstrosity, Internet witches, ghouls and others that defy description. Below you will find some excerpts from some of the stories:

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An excerpt from "Hungry For Faces"...

Michael walked up to the door and looked inside.

The blue light came from a tinted bulb in a shadeless lamp. Thin copper wires were strung across the room at various levels; every piece of furniture seemed to be caught up in the tangle. The breeze from a fan on high-power made the wires hum. On a brass bed in the center of the room reclined a pale man, bundled in quilts and pillows. His long black hair was thick and coarse, like a horse's mane. He wore a tattered bathrobe over a gray sweatsuit. Michael decided the pale man was probably twenty-five, just a few years younger than himself.

Michael brushed a hand over the lump in his pants pocket. He had a roll of bills totalling three-hundred dollars, in case the pale man had a price. "I met somebody in a bar – a mechanic. He’d told me you made his wife go away." It dawned on Michael that the mechanic might have violated a trust. "You can't really blame him for talking. He'd had a lot to drink and ... well, I bought him a few drinks, too. He seemed pretty miserable."

The pale man shrugged. "No worry. I appreciate references, if discretion is observed. I'm sure Mr. Curtis has selected well. My name is Card."

"I'm Michael. I guess you don't really want to know who I am, though, since you told me to cover my face." He twanged at one of the copper wires. "What's with the spiderweb?"

"Be careful, will you?" Card nodded as Michael stilled the vibrating wire with a fingertip. "Yes, it is like a spiderweb, isn't it? Except there's no pattern. Still, do you see the appeal? Everything connected to everything. Beautiful, like a work of art."

"Can I get through?"

A brief, worried look crossed Card's face. "I suppose so." The pale man watched intently as Michael threaded his way across the room. "Careful there, a wire is snagged on your coat. And your handkerchief is coming loose. Don't let it fall off. If you should ever show me your face, I would want it to be a conscious choice."

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An excerpt from "The Voice of the Pangyricon"....

Something horrible stepped off the platform.

It was a corpse. A walking corpse with blue skin, streaked with dust and what looked like thick strands of yellowish-green cobwebs. Its eyes were tightly squinted shut. Its face was smeared with blood and strings of fresh meat hung from its broken teeth.

“Attention, Daniel!” I screamed to the Pangyricon's computer system. “Daniel, help us! Activate security alert!” None of us had any weapons. There had never been any need for them.

“Interesting!” the computer said in its higher voice of excitement. “I’ve completed a brain-scan on this being and though the organ is profoundly altered, I can detect familiar patterns. That is my original body.”

“Don’t just scan that thing!” Remson said as he came out of the chamber. “Activate security alert!”

“Yes! Look what it did to the calf!” Quinn cried.

“I detect animal blood, but no animal,” the computer said. “I cannot activate a security alert based on an external occurrence.”

The creature’s eyes slowly opened, revealing twin milky-white orbs. Apparently it had needed some time to get used to the light. It rushed to the door, which slid open, like all work area doors when somebody stepped up to them. The thing then raced down the hall....

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Need ordering information on the trade paperback? Here's the Amazon.com link:

http://www.amazon.com/Hideous-Faces-B...

Thanks! :-)

HIDEOUS FACES, BEAUTIFUL SKULLS Now Available

Above you will see the cover art of my new story collection, HIDEOUS FACES, BEAUTIFUL SKULLS, from Wildside Press. The 214-page trade paperback is now available on Amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/Hideous-Faces-Beautiful-Skulls-McLaughlin/dp/1479401889/

Here is a link to the GoodReads page for the book: Hideous Faces, Beautiful Skulls

In HIDEOUS FACES, BEAUTIFUL SKULLS, a collection of thirty stories of horror and the bizarre, you shall enter a boundless realm of dark magic, evil glamour, and strange love. As with any collection of my work, you will encounter monsters aplenty: magic zombies, evil cats, alien lovers, aquatic humanoids, a vicious Egyptian monstrosity, Internet witches, ghouls and others that defy description.

The best of my darkest stories have been compiled in HIDEOUS FACES, BEAUTIFUL SKULLS.

The Great Weird Fiction of Long Ago Quiz, Part 2

Hello again! I'm Mark McLaughlin, author of Best Little Witch-House in Arkham. I have another vintage horror fiction quiz for you, and the works in question are a little more recent than last time. Will that make it easier...? We shall see! ;-)

Here's the link to the quiz:

https://www.goodreads.com/quizzes/334...

Thanks!

Take the Great Weird Fiction of Long Ago Quiz!

How much do you know about the great weird stories and novels of long ago? Take the Great Weird Fiction of Long Ago Quiz and find out!

I’m your quiz-host, Mark McLaughlin, author of Best Little Witch-House in Arkham. I’ve always enjoyed reading vintage weird fiction, and also watching old b-movies, horror movies, and cult movies. I like new books and movies, too, of course -- I like comparing works from different time periods.

Here's the link to the quiz:
https://www.goodreads.com/quizzes/325...

Thanks!

My Friend, The Electrical Lint Squid

by Mark McLaughlin

(Previously appeared in my fiction collection, RAISING DEMONS FOR FUN & PROFIT)

There's a creature made of lint living in my house. I think electricity brought him to life. I have really thick carpets and the littlest bit of walking stirs up all kinds of static (I live near a power plant – that might have something to do with it). The creature looks sort of like a squid. He stands about thirteen inches high and has five tentacles, two beaks, and one glowing eye that doesn't blink. He can really wiggle around pretty fast on those tentacles. It's fun to watch.

I'm working in a record store – for now. Mr. Parnell, the manager, gave me two weeks notice yesterday. I guess a lot of the customers were complaining about me. Just because I cranked up the store's sound system a few times. And I yelled at some people after I rang up their sales wrong and they started whining all over the place.

I told the electrical lint squid the whole sad story and this is what he said in his crispy little voice:

"Here's the plan, Buddy. I think you should stick me in your knapsack, take me to the record store and hide me in the back room. Then, after everybody's gone home, I'll come out and use my special lint squid powers to put static on all the tapes and records and CDs."

"Big deal," I said. "They'll just send all that stuff back to the factory."

The electrical lint squid chuckled through one of his beaks. "That's where you're wrong, Buddy." He wiggled into my lap and put a tentacle on my shoulder. "You see, it'll be this special static. It's like a dog whistle – really high frequency. The customers won't be able to hear it, but it'll screw up their brain waves. It'll make them all scatterbrained and hyper and well, just plain crazy. They'll start seeing things, too, like imaginary friends and stuff. So they'll go crazy and have imaginary friends and get all goofy and weird and you know what? They'll all probably lose their jobs. You bet. That'll teach'em, Buddy."

I thought for a moment.

"Now wait a minute," I said. "Maybe I'm crazy. Mr. Parnell told me I was. So did some of the customers. Maybe I'm seeing things, too. Things like, oh, I don't know... you, perhaps? Maybe you're only an imaginary friend – or maybe you're using me to make others just like you. Fill me in, Mr. Electrical Lint Squid. I mean, really: what's the deal here?"

"That's a good question, Buddy," my little friend said. "A really, really good question. Let me give it some thought and I'll get back to you, okay? Great!" A beautiful electric-blue glow sprang up in his eye. "Now help me find that knapsack."

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For more tales of the weird and wild, check out Best Little Witch-House in Arkham.

TREAD THE BACKWARD SPIRAL: A Tale of the Bizarre

The story below first appeared in Cyber-Psychos AOD. For more tales of the weird and wild, check out:

Best Little Witch-House in Arkham




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Tread the Backward Spiral
by Mark McLaughlin

A: Preparation

Sever all ties with society. Erase from memory all affections and accomplishments. Forsake all pleasures.

Fast for nine days. See no human face during that time. Remove the cathode-ray tube from a vintage television set. Place the tube in the center of a windowless room. There can be no wiring or pipes in the walls.

B: Invocation

By the light of a small black candle, take nine steps away from the tube. Stand completely still until the candle flame dies.

Walk backward through the dark in a tightening spiral. Return to the tube in exactly nine rounds.

The tube will glow white, then blue, then green. A beach of black sand will appear on the screen. Look to the oily, black waters and wait. An oddly eroded being will emerge from the waves.

Notice the delicate gill slits that line the jaws of this being. It cannot tarry in the open air for long. Do not vex this being by prolonging the encounter. Avoid the gaze of the Subject of the Spiral.

C: Incantation

Speak these words to the Subject: "Open to me the darkness that mindlessly devours. Open to me the yearning that rips the soul to shreds. Open to me the Way of true knowledge."

D: Revelation

Proceed to make inquiries of the Subject. This being, incapable of speech, instructs through visualization. Tutorial images will appear on the screen. Learn of the foolishness of passion, of ambition, of vanity. Learn of the wisdom that comes with an utter lack of self.

Many visions will come unbidden. A stone building with veined walls that pulse and shudder. Fleshy trees, acrawl with voracious crystal insects. Metal cubes soaring on impossible wings. This is the world of the Spiral.

In this place, all is alive – even the black ocean. That is why the Subject is partially disintegrated. The Subject dwells in a sea that constantly strives to digest It. In turn, the Subject drinks deep of the living waters, extracting sustenance to grow new flesh.

Centuries will pass, and the Subject will grow old and weak. The greater hunger of the ocean will at last triumph. Much can be discerned from this example.

Existence is a spiral of relentless hunger. One may dwindle to naught or expand to infinity. Either way, escape is impossible.

E: Damnation

The Subject of the Spiral must be recompensed. Forfeit all identity to the Subject. This nourishment will help It to stave off the ravages of the dark sea.

Having fed, the Subject will depart. The image of the dark beach will fade from the screen.

Leave the windowless room. Return to society. Wander, ragged and vile, among others of your kind. Feel the hungry Spiral twist within you.

Others will peer, out of pity, into your eyes of living glass.

Appease the Spiral. Feast on their souls.

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I'm Getting A Raise - A Tale Of Office Politics And Scarabs

(A tale of reincarnation, office politics, and scarabs! It first appeared on the Steel Caves website.)

Mr. Quimby's vacation ended last Friday, but he didn't come to work on Monday or Tuesday or Wednesday, so I called his house on Thursday morning to see if he was okay. I felt funny doing it since I'm only his assistant, but I thought maybe he'd slipped in the bathtub or fallen down the basement steps. They say most accidents happen in the home.

He answered the phone on the first ring. "Oh yes, I'm fine, thank you, Mark," he said. "Come round to the house, won't you? I've made the most marvelous discovery and I have to talk to someone."

So I went, even though I had a huge pile of work to do. I went that very morning to his home, which is either an extremely big house or a fairly small mansion. I banged the knocker and while I waited for him to come to the door, I thought up some questions to ask about his vacation in Egypt.

When he opened the door, I hardly recognized him. He was so tan, and his potbelly was gone, and his thick red hair was dyed black. And of course, he never wore a jewel-encrusted gold breastplate around the office.

Mr. Quimby smiled, beckoned me in with a snaking finger and closed the door whisper-quick behind me.

In his living room, we sat side by side on an overstuffed divan shaped like an Egyptian barge. He then poured me a glass of champagne (A drink before noon! I felt like a wildman!) and told me about his vacation.

He told me about the gibbous-mooned night he met Lakhma, the albino hermaphrodite tour guide. He told me about the purple and green hieroglyphic tattoos that covered the hermaphrodite's face and arms and petite cleavage. He told me about the secret tomb shown to him by Lakhma, and about the sacred chalice that collected glowing red ichor from a dripping stalactite in that tomb. The lustrous fluid was known as the Blood of Time.

One night, Mr. Quimby took a sip from the chalice. One sip was all anyone needed of that magical elixir.

"I feel reborn," Mr. Quimby said, "and Mark, I think you've been doing some fabulous work for the company. From now on, you're going to be seeing some real money." He stopped to adjust his breastplate and added, "How's that sound to you?"

All I could do was nod, like one of those little red toy birds that sip water.

Scarabs crawled in circles around us as Mr. Quimby slathered on black eyeliner and painted his nails crocodile green and rambled on about the pyramids and Osiris and Horus and Anubis and the Book of the Dead and reincarnation. "Isn't memory the funniest thing?" he said. "I can remember my previous life as Cleopatra, but I can't recall my father's birthday. Or what I had for breakfast. Or where I put my sunglasses. Or even your middle name."

"That would be Anthony, sir," I said as a scarab crawled up my leg. "Mark Anthony."

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For more strange tales, humorous and horrific, read Best Little Witch-House in Arkham.

It's the Great Dark Fantasy Poetry Quiz

It’s the Great Dark Fantasy Poetry Quiz! I’m Mark McLaughlin, co-author with Michael McCarty of the poetry collection, Revenge of the Two-Headed Poetry Monster, and I invite you to test your knowledge of dark, imaginative, fantastical poems through history. Just follow the link below:

THE QUIZ:
https://www.goodreads.com/quizzes/301...


Also, here's a link to REVENGE OF THE TWO-HEADED POETRY MONSTER on Amazon.com:
http://www.amazon.com/Revenge-Two-Hea...

Thanks! :-)

Even More Eldritch Excerpts from BEST LITTLE WITCH-HOUSE IN ARKHAM

Excerpt No. 1:

Along the far wall was a four-poster bed with sky-blue silk curtains. Lounging in the middle of the bed on a pile of navy blue pillows was a willowy, dark-haired woman in a white dressing gown edged with pink lace.

She seemed normal enough – from a distance. But as Melina walked closer, she gradually realized there was something very wrong with the woman.

Mrs. Hamogeorgakis had fine bone structure and large blue eyes. But the eyes had an intense, vicious look to them, like those of a wild animal.

The woman’s pale skin had a slight olive cast – and was coated with a shining layer of tiny, iridescent scales.

Her dark hair was full and lustrous – far too lustrous. It glistened with a slick sheen, as though covered with a layer of oil.

Mrs. Hamogeorgakis smiled, revealing a mouthful of yellow, needle-thin teeth. “So this is the fancy expert,” she said in a wet rumble of a voice. “The miracle worker. Do you think you will be able to make a goddess of me?”

-- An excerpt from "A Beauty Treatment for Mrs. Hamogeorgakis," one of the 25 Mythos-inspired ‪horror‬ stories in the fiction collection, BEST LITTLE WITCH-HOUSE IN ARKHAM by Mark McLaughlin.

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Excerpt No. 2:

The land of Computronea used to be ruled by a power-mad mega-computer known as the Continuum. To save the day, a noble warrior scientist had overloaded the evil machine with data on goodness, causing it to explode. The explosion released a great amount of the mysterious Zing Energy that powered the Continuum. All this unleashed power created a new race of beings known as Nekronomi Pals, composed of either digital goodness or evil, or sometimes an unpredictable mix of both.

Basically, there were four main types of Nekronomi Pals. The most common by far were the Tulus – loyal, doglike creatures with tentacled faces, bat wings, claws and scales. Brott’s very favorite Pal was one of these, and his name was Peeka-Tulu. Most of the Tulus were friendly and relaxed. Their favorite pastime was taking long naps in dark, damp basement corners. But some could be quite snarly and ill-tempered, and their claws left awful scratches. Tulus contained high levels of Zing Energy.

Daggies resembled monkeys that had been crossed with goldfish. They had pale, lanky limbs, big fishy eyes and blubbery lips. They enjoyed swimming and splashing around in cool streams. Though electro-digital by nature, Nekronomi Pals could move about in water when in solid form – in fact, many enjoyed it. All the Pals had to eat and drink to nourish their solid bodies, just like real animals. Daggies loved water the most. Each Daggy was either all-the-way-good or all-the-way-evil.

Fungos had the appearance of hermit crabs, but instead of shells, they sported over-sized mushroom heads on their backs. Their stretchy eyestalks allowed them an expansive field of vision. They were aggressive fighters, with sharp, fast pincher-claws. Also, each type of Pal had its own special power – and the power of the Fungos was an especially formidable one. The other Pals certainly did not like to fight Fungos.

Shoggies were big, bouncy, rubbery Nekronomi Pals. They looked like juicy globs of gelatin with funny little wiggly bits suspended inside. These wigglies were their internal organs. Each Shoggy had two sturdy hearts and three pulsing brains, and so they were very industrious and intelligent. Their Zing Energy burned with a steady glow....

-- An excerpt from "Super Digital Nekronomi Pals Are Zing!" ... another strange tale from BEST LITTLE WITCH-HOUSE IN ARKHAM.

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BEST LITTLE WITCH-HOUSE IN ARKHAM ... available as a trade paperback or a Kindle download:

http://www.amazon.com/Best-Little-Wit...


Best Little Witch-House in Arkham

Mark McLaughlin