Amanda M. Blake's Blog, page 7
December 20, 2024
In anticipation: Friday Update
SONY DSCNews:
My dark poem “Keeping Secrets” was included in the Breath and Shadow Fall 2024 issue. It’s free to read here. My inspiration for it was the fact that I’m pretty good at not telling secrets, but I absolutely cannot promise that I won’t tell under the most mild of interrogations. My secret integrity completely depends on the fact that people don’t ask me about them in the first place.
Undertaker Books announced their Table of Contents for Stories to Take to the Grave: High Seas Edition, and my story “Floaters” (referencing corpses) is included in the line-up. It’s quieter horror than I usually do, and with a little hope thrown in there. It’s one of my stories I submitted far and wide to a variety of publishers, but it kept getting rejected, and I really wanted a good home for it.
Works in Progress:
Since it includes some rewriting, the first-round edit of Masque is going more slowly than I would like. I’m sorry, crisis after crisis and anticipation of collapse is not conducive to creativity. Nevertheless, I’ve started, and honestly, it wasn’t as info-dumping as I thought it would be. Or maybe adding a character that needed context helped give the world-building info reason to exist.
But I’m not having trouble concentrating because I don’t enjoy it. When I’m working on it, I love Masque‘s lushness. The difference between the much sparer found-media transcription style of the Dracula reimagining and the Gothic embellishments in Masque is pretty stark. I like both.
By and large, my shorter creature features, Deep Down and Out of Curiosity and Hunger are both spare as well, Deep Down because of the protagonist’s numbed emotional state and in Out of Curiosity and Hunger because of both the protagonist’s detachment and sort of wanting to write found-footage style without actually doing so—very documentarian. Whereas my first book, Nocturne, and novella The Damp definitely leaned into the Gothic style as well. I think doing both allows me to enjoy them better, because I’m never locked into one way of writing and it keeps me interested.
I can also write somewhere in between. I would argue that, though the Thorns series books are long, they’re quite traditional in style, and so is Question Not My Salt. Drift and A Woman Alone are dreamy outliers, but probably fit in here, too, although I would argue they’re actually Gothic in elements rather than writing style.
I’m very much a believer of ‘form follows function.’ Sometimes you need a modular cottage and sometimes you need a big honking castle. One is not more intrinsically correct. I think I’ve once shared on here, though, that a more elaborate Gothic style of writing more closely resembles how my brain actually thinks. The denser, sparer writing, on the other hand, gives my head a bit of a rest.
Christmas to New Year’s is a weird time, even as a freelancer, so I’m not sure how much I’ll actually get done, but I’m still aiming to get Masque and the Dracula reimagining completed by end of January. At the very least, I’d like to get Masque done if the call I’m finishing it for is, in fact, open in January. If they’re open to novellas, I can submit The Damp if I don’t finish, though. The Dracula reimagining doesn’t really need to be finished. I’m just hoping to start subbing it out to agents as soon as possible. I’m also perfectly open to self-publishing it. I have two covers in my already-purchased folder that could fit the story.
Books I’m Reading:
The Fisherman by John Langan
Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier
Sister, Maiden, Monster by Lucy A. Snyder
Things I’m Listening To:
Christmas playlist
Things I’m Watching:
Die Hard (My verdict? I don’t understand how this isn’t a Christmas movie. Loved it.)
Krampus
Christmas Inheritance
Home Alone 2: Lost in New York
Black Christmas (2006)
P2
The Nightmare Before Christmas
Holiday in the Wild
The Case of the Whitechapel Vampire (Sherlock Holmes)
The Christmas Cookie Showdown series
Holiday Baking Championship series (finished)
Holiday Wars series
The Great British Baking Show series (finished)
Elsbeth series
Matlock series
Ghosts (US) series
NCIS series
Longmire series
Columbo series
S.W.A.T. series
December 13, 2024
Winter is a time for ghosts: Friday Update
News:
I was futzing around and stumbled upon a podcast review of Question Not My Salt that warmed the cockles of my cold, cold heart. Genre Junkies did their review for QNMS for their Thanksgiving episode and seemed to have a blast discussing all the disgusting elements (plus some talk about The Substance and Thanksgiving itself). The second half of the full episode is spoilery, so it might be better to listen to after you’ve read it yourself, or if you don’t want to read it and just want to listen to other people talk about the gross parts.
This review was completely unsolicited as part of Crystal Lake’s marketing campaign. They were recommended the book by word of mouth in extreme horror circles, which is the coolest thing, and they really seemed to enjoy it. They agree that, as extreme horror, it’s on the milder side and acts as a good gateway into the subgenre.
As evidenced in the last post, I finally went to see Wicked, which is such an important musical for me. It’s meant different things in every decade—it changes as I change—and as someone who grew up a belter and mezzo soprano, both Glinda and Elphaba’s songs have been formative in the development of my singing voice (which is just for my own enjoyment, which I feel ambivalent about on the best of days). I’m not the only musical theatre kid who was ridiculously pleased at how well the musical was adapted to screen. Everything we could want and more than we possibly could have expected. Approached with so much love from everyone involved.
I’m watching Die Hard tonight for the first time ever! I’m looking forward to experiencing a quippier Bruce Willis. I mostly know him through his more stoic phase. Not to mention a young Alan Rickman.
Works in Progress:
I’m nearly finished with the first round of edits for the Dracula reimagining. Then I’ll send it on to my alpha reader. She usually gets my first fruits to help me on the developmental end of things, so I’ll know how to approach first-round edits. But because I wrote the DRI out of order, I wanted to make sure the disparate parts flowed as a whole and there were no glaring consistency errors. So far, the part I needed to make the most changes to is the end, which I wrote first, so that makes sense. I should probably finish with the first round by the end of the weekend.
I had a nice lunch with my alpha reader this week, too, and we talked about her notes on Masque and how to approach some significant changes. I took additional notes, and although Masque will probably be my greatest challenge to rewrite since Nocturne (my issues with Meridian usually had me reworking the plot entirely rather than rewriting the plot I had, which is what I did with Nocturne and will do with Masque), I’m really excited to see what I can make with this story, which has good bones and some great scenes to work with. As gothic alt-history, it’s really demanding on a detail level, and that’s not necessarily where I shine (because I can’t just make shit up the same way I can with modern fantasy; even where I change history, it needs to be justified, and I need to understand the history to change it in the first place). But this story is so important to me and deserves my full loving care and attention. It’s been with me so long; I just want all the best for it now that it’s finally a manuscript.
I’d hoped to have Masque and the DRI edits finished by the end of the year, but now I’m aiming for the end of January, which is usually when early submission calls for novels close.
Books I’m Reading:
The Fisherman by John Langan
Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier
Sister, Maiden, Monster by Lucy A. Snyder
Things I’m Listening To:
Christmas playlist
Things I’m Watching:
Home Alone
A Cinderella Christmas
Wishmaster 2: Evil Never Dies
The Thing
Wicked
The Christmas Cookie Showdown series
Holiday Baking Championship series
Holiday Wars series
The Great British Baking Show series
The Irrational series
Elsbeth series
Ghosts series
NCIS series
Longmire series
Columbo series
S.W.A.T. series
December 11, 2024
No one mourns the Wicked
Just came back from seeing Wicked in theaters, and I’m pleased to say that I agree with everyone about how wonderful the adaptation from stage to screen is. I forgot to bring tissues, although I always cry for “No One Mourns the Wicked” and “Defying Gravity.” Like a lot of people, I’ve always identified with Elphaba, and like a lot of people, I also have to contend with the Glinda in me.
Chu’s movie and Erivo’s interpretation of her role brought a lot of profound, rich elements to Elphaba’s story. There’s no escaping how much Erivo brings her blackness into her depiction, although the world of Oz itself doesn’t seem to be as concerned with race or size, as shown by prominent depictions of all kinds of people, including those considered less-than, soulless, or cursed in our world (I noticed little people at the Emerald City, an albino student of African descent, and lots of gingers). Nod to Bowen Yang for “I don’t see color.” (Indeed, disability seems to be the notable exception, and that more out of general ignorance rather than a lack of effort on the part of Ozians.) Better people than I have commented on how Elphaba’s clothes and dancing were ridiculed until mimicked by a white girl, comparable to the co-opting of black culture for white consumption. And there was that beautiful moment when pink light showed Cynthia’s own skin tone when Elphaba was imagining no longer being green.
There’s also no escaping the romantic undertones in the friendship between Elphaba and Glinda, although the world of Oz seems to be welcome to various sexualities and, as shown by the universal reaction to Fiyero, runs quite bisexual and gender neutral, as shown through Shiz uniforms (reminiscent of the Next Generation Enterprise in its first episode, when a man wore a mini-skirt on board, although it eventually shifted to what we call unisex today, which considered masculine bodies and clothes a default neutral). This was by design first by Maguire, who made it more over- than undertone, then shifted more to a vibe by Schwartz; both men are gay.
Elphaba is representative of no one thing, because all of our vulnerable groups are just that: groups, communities, umbrellas. Elphaba is truly and utterly alone, though many of us in vulnerable groups still feel alone, isolated, especially if we’re not connected to a community. We can feel like there’s none like us, but we have the benefit of knowing we aren’t the only one of our kind. Elphaba does not. So she becomes the ultimate Other, for those of us alone and hated for what we are to look to and identify with.
Neither Maguire nor Schwartz were prescient; all things old are new again, and ever shall it be. Maguire grew up and through the AIDS crisis as a gay man. It’s no surprise that he referenced it in his novel through a character experiencing a debilitating sexually transmitted illness and being tended to by Elphaba alone—again alone. Schwartz’s musical came out when the gay and lesbian community was only just beginning to get traction in media representation showing that they weren’t predators and were just trying to live their lives in love. The sapphic vibe kept Elphaba and Glinda more palatable, gateway lesbian romance for the time, and left room for the equally important friendship.
What ached so deeply in my heart through “Defying Gravity” during this viewing, though, also seemed very intentional on Chu’s part. Or maybe it didn’t even need to be intentional, because it’s always there: the common enemy made of vulnerable people who are too easy to make hated, not because of what they do but because of who they are. First the Animals (capitalized to differentiate from those who do not speak), who were at one point completely integrated into the Oz world and then gradually discriminated against until they were squashed into silence and loss of their identity. The Animals didn’t do anything. The Wizard just brought his prejudices from our world into Oz, and they were convenient to blame after economic hardship (sound familiar?).
You can’t avoid the parallels Wicked makes with the world we’re in, even though they were post-production well before the election and could not have known who would win. And you can’t avoid who seems to be the Wicked Witch of the Western World now. While watching Erivo run, then take her flying stand as the citizens scream “Kill her!” and Madame Morrible says with such relish, “Her green skin is but an outward manifestorium of her twisted nature. This distortion! This repulsion! This wicked witch!,” it is impossible not to see my trans brothers and sisters in this demonization.
It is impossible not to recall the fear-mongering election ads and articles depicting trans people as repulsive and distortions, as predators, as sick, and how the other side really made no effort to combat the monstrous rhetoric, in an effort to protect themselves and because they truly don’t care. It is impossible not to recall the same viciousness and indifference, with the exact same phrases, used against gays and lesbians less than fifteen years ago (before Obama’s ‘evolving’ opinions). Yet enough gays and lesbians now were willing to throw trans people under the bus, presenting themselves as the ‘good queers,’ assuming incorrectly that they aren’t going to be the next (and present) targets. In addition, it is no coincidence that Elphaba is an analog to trans and intersex in the books, although that element wasn’t included in the musical.
All throughout “Defying Gravity,” my heart broke for my trans brothers and sisters who sit with me under our particular umbrella. As the Wizard says, “The best way to bring folks together is to give them a real good enemy.” This is what the culture war is: Distract from the real villainy that people are doing by pointing them in the direction of a small, vulnerable population and condemning what they are, often through bad-faith misunderstandings and outright lies. It’s also no coincidence, of course, that Dr. Dillamond is a literal scape-Goat.
Part of me wishes that this movie had come out before the election. Another part of me knows that enough people who have loved the musical and movie may not see Glinda in themselves or the Wizard in those they idolize. They may only see in Elphaba the rebel they want to be but not the terribly alone and exiled woman she is. Again, it seems to be no coincidence that people of all races, gender identities, and sexualities at Shiz were afraid of, hated, and bullied Elphaba, and how minorities so rarely seem to rally for each other in solidarity, out of either unconscious or fully conscious fear they’ll be targeted next. Much easier to have them scramble for scraps of approval. If anything, I felt like the fact that races, sizes, and queerness being depicted as acceptable while Animals and Elphaba were discriminated against highlighted the truly arbitrary nature of discrimination. (Which again brings to mind Star Trek, but this time the Original Series, “Let That Be Your Last Battlefield.”)
Wicked has been relevant for much longer than it has existed, and it remains all too relevant today. We’ve still been so easily manipulated into misplaced fears about incredibly vulnerable people, even though they’re far more at risk for the things we’re afraid of them for, and all too often by the people who are afraid of them in the first place.
If your heart aches like mine and brings you to tears during “Defying Gravity,” I hope you can take that pain and recognize who has become the Animals and the Wicked Witch in our world. If this would not have galvanized you into action before, let it galvanize you now. Because the culture war of distraction continues, the Animals are losing their voices with each book ban, court case, and piece of legislation, and there’s no prophesied Witch in sight.
December 6, 2024
Too many marshmallows: Friday Update
News:
For the first time, I was included in Ellen Datlow‘s list of the best short horror recommendations of the 2023 year with “Show Me” from Bound in Flesh and “The Thing That Crawls” from Unspeakable Horror 3. It’s a long list, but it’s still an honor to be part of it.
I sold some things this week; I’ll share more info when they’re announced.
Had what seemed like a really good job interview this week. Crossing my fingers for a second.
Don’t have a lot of Christmas spirit, but I’ve started to have a little. Creeping into its realm with eggnog, Little Debbie Christmas Tree Cakes (I don’t know why they’re better than LD’s other vanilla cakes, but they are, especially frozen), Christmas viewing, and Christmas music.
Works in Progress:
I’m about halfway through the first-round edits of the Dracula reimagining. I don’t know what the coming world is going to be like and what place my writing has in it, but I think the DRI is a solid piece. It’s unmistakably a reimagining but functions independently from its source material as well; it’s not superfluous or simply a beat-for-beat retelling. It reminds me of back when I read really good fanfiction, how it felt like it was in conversation with canon but was its own thing, too.
I’m still not quite at my full strength, speed, and attention span yet, but it’s improved this week. I did get my period, which was milder than usual (yay!) but occasionally uncomfortable enough to interrupt my work, plus something that seemed like a UTI (sorry, TMI), which I’m treating, yet I still moved forward faster than the weeks before.
Might try to do some poetry this next week. I had plans for long poetry this November, but my soul just couldn’t do beauty last month after the election. I function best like the Romantics: great emotions remembered in quiet stillness, of which there has been precious little in my heart or head.
Things I’m Reading:
The Apocalypse and Satan’s Glory Hole by Timothy W. Long and Jonathan Moon (finished)
Borrasca by The_Dalek_Emperor (r/NoSleep) (finished)
The Fisherman by John Langan
Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier
Things I’m Listening To:
The Mist soundtrack
Dracula soundtracks
Christmas playlist
Things I’m Watching:
Elf
Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist
Wishmaster
Is It Cake? Holiday series (finished)
The Christmas Cookie Showdown series
Holiday Baking Championship series
Holiday Wars series
The Great British Baking Show series
The Irrational series
Broadchurch series
NCIS series
Columbo series
Supernatural series
Grey’s Anatomy series
S.W.A.T. series
November 29, 2024
Feast days: Friday Update
News:
Question Not My Salt is 99c for an ebook (for those without KU) through December 3. Question Not My Salt also got a great shout-out from Paul Preston at Books of Horror.
Screams, edited by Judith Sonnet, is also coming out next week, December 1, through Amazon. You can pre-order it now. My short story about being haunted by a number, “Six,” is part of this anthology.
Works in Progress:
I went ahead and let Unhallow’d Guests go for now. I am in no state to write, and I’m just going to have to accept that. I’ll probably try easing back into it with short stories in the new year, but considering that the inauguration hasn’t even happened yet, who knows if I’m going to be in a better state then.
I’ve started editing the Dracula reimagining. That’s also slow, in part because of family in town this week. I’m hoping I have more of an attention span next week. I still may not be in the best state to properly edit this on a developmental level, but I can at least clean it up. I also may not be able to take joy in this like I did last month, but I’m still reminded how much my brain gloms onto Dracula things, regardless of anhedonia. So I’m probably enjoying it somewhere in my brain, but I can’t feel it.
I don’t like when I can’t write or edit, because then I feel like I’m doing absolutely nothing, and I don’t need help feeling useless. I’m still aiming to finish editing the DRI and Masque by the end of the year.
Things I’m Reading:
The Apocalypse and Satan’s Glory Hole by Timothy W. Long and Jonathan Moon
The Fisherman by John Langan
Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier
Things I’m Listening To:
Nightwish
Dracula soundtracks
Things I’m Watching:
Murder, She Wrote: The Last Free Man
Alien: Romulus
Abigail
The Christmas Cookie Showdown series
Holiday Baking Championship series
Holiday Wars series
White Collar series
Ghosts (US) series
Abbott Elementary series
The Irrational series
Broadchurch series
NCIS series
Columbo series
9-1-1 series
Doctor Odyssey series
Supernatural series
Grey’s Anatomy series
November 22, 2024
The other side: Friday Update
I lost track of the day, which is happening a lot, along with general forgetfulness. I understand why (hello, depression/grief as temporary brain damage), but it’s still disorienting.
I’ve managed to reach some form of equilibrium, but given that we haven’t even reached the inauguration and transition, that equilibrium is shaky as hell. I’m still not sure what to do outright, but I’ve done a few things to make me feel on a little more solid footing, even if I’m not particularly solid. I think I have options; the trouble is gauging timing, not to mention ability.
But this whole thing absolutely took the wind out of my sails for writing and makes me question the point of doing any of it at all, except if I’m not doing this, then I’m not doing anything. I’ve gotten some word count on Unhallow’d Guests, but it’s hard and feels lifeless, which is a shame, because I always liked the idea. I can’t concentrate during the day, so I distract, and by the time I’m finally in a place to write, it’s time to go to bed. Horror is usually comfort food, but that’s not working for me much, either. Procedurals are helping some, because they’re essentially competence porn.
I don’t think I’ve ever had less holiday spirit. I remember how happy I was around Halloween, in spite of things, and I look at where I am now, and it’s just…not good.
It feels like the election killed any hope for a better future. Mostly dead, for now, rather than all dead, but resurrection is far from a foregone conclusion. Meanwhile, A.I. is killing my dream and my jobs—badly and energy-inefficiently, but who cares as long as it saves a buck? I wasn’t trained for a world in which I don’t matter, even if I should, nor a world which is actively hostile toward me, even though I’m harmless. I might have made different decisions, had I known, starting with how to be less harmless and spread the misery around with more than a dark, disgusting tale.
Blah-blah, things will get better, blah-blah, everything’s cyclical. But although human time is much quicker than geologic time, our cycles can be long in comparison to human life span. I may never see better days. And some have never seen any.
I reread Jurassic Park and The Lost World by Michael Crichton, and it hit differently than previous reads. Maybe because it feels eerily applicable, and it’s a reminder that we simply do not learn. And it makes me sad that literacy, especially media literacy, is dying—aided by the increasing prevalence of AI, which helps people get to the other side of an assignment (badly) but misses the point of the assignment entirely. It is stunning how many people love various media but don’t seem to understand what those stories mean. This is why we insist (fruitlessly) that the humanities are still important. This is why English majors used to be valuable for business and law.
I do like the books, though. I feel Spielberg’s Jurassic Park is a near-perfect movie (and The Lost World an uncharacteristic, if fun misstep), and among a whole shelf of greats, is probably one of his best commercial films. The books, however, are drier and meaner.
News:
Nothing much to report. More rejects, but personalized.
However, Question Not My Salt feels more and more representative of the state of horror we’re in (I wrote it as extreme horror, but surprise! it’s splatterpunk). So if you have a taste for a family Thanksgiving dinner going from awkward to outright awful and you have a strong stomach for extreme horror, Question Not My Salt might just be the Thanksgiving horror we deserve. At least it’s short.
Works in Progress:
On a good week, I can write 25-35K words. I managed *checks notes* 8K words on Unhallow’d Guests. I’ll see what I can manage in the next week.
Things I’m Reading:
The Apocalypse and Satan’s Glory Hole by Timothy W. Long and Jonathan Moon
Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton (finished)
The Lost World by Michael Crichton (finished)
The Fisherman by John Langan
Things I’m Listening To:
Nightwish
Things I’m Watching:
Murder, She Wrote: A Story to Die For
Thanksgiving
The Christmas Cookie Showdown series
Ghosts (US) series
Brilliant Mind series
The Irrational series
Elsbeth series
Matlock (new) series
Broadchurch series
CSI: NY series
NCIS series
Columbo series
9-1-1 series
Doctor Odyssey series
November 15, 2024
The tiny little rabbit: Friday Update
I didn’t miss this. Every day a fresh hell, and we’re not even in the vestibule. I’m scared every day, and it makes me want to be silent, blend into the background, play dead. All my creativity is gone. I don’t see the point, which of course means there’s tremendous need, but that doesn’t mean anything here.
My mind is an endless series of worst case scenarios and knowing how incredibly possible they are, and that they are certain people’s endgame (one of the only defenses I have against catastrophizing is telling myself the odds). It’s the little glimmers of hope that seem far more fragile and entirely dependent upon the enemy of my enemy being my friend. If he hadn’t won, those who voted for him wouldn’t have felt like this every time they wake up. This isn’t normal.
I hate this. I hate this world. I hate that it’s falling and didn’t have to, could have been prevented, that everything is of our own making yet out of so many people’s control. I don’t see a solution if no one has been willing to do what must be done every step of the way.
I really don’t think I’m going to make it out of this. I feel like I already died.
News:
Screams, from editor Judith Sonnet, is available on Godless now, if you don’t want to wait for it to be available on Amazon. My haunted-number story “Six” is part of this no-theme, old-school horror anthology.
Works in Progress:
I went ahead and scrapped the last book in the Meridian series, and this was before Election Day, so I can’t blame that. It just wasn’t working for me at all. If I can cobble together something new by this time next year and anything matters, I’ll write the novel, but if not, Meridian will just have to be seven novels, because I couldn’t come up with something fresh. It all felt like rehash of something I’d already done, and I can do that endlessly with theme but not really with characters.
I started on a pet Halloween-themed project that brings the Dracula characters into roughly the nineties, but the election stole my hope and joy and now I just don’t see the point. I’m going to try to continue it just for fun, but even that scares me, so… I don’t know what to do. I want to be brave and fierce and rebellious and resistant, but I’m just not.
I was able to complete the proofreading edit of Book & Candle (Meridian 5) and send that in. Pre-orders start in the new year.
Things I’m Reading:
The Apocalypse and Satan’s Gloryhole by Timothy W. Long and Jonathan Moon
Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton
Things I’m Listening To:
Svrcina
Nightwish
The Ring/The Ring 2 soundtrack
Things I’m Watching:
Practical Magic
Haunt
Gonjiam: Haunted Asylum
Legally Blonde the Musical
You’re Next
The Deliverance
The Sudbury Devil
The Irrational series
Elsbeth series
Matlock (new) series
Broadchurch series
CSI:NY series
CSI series
NCIS series
Columbo series
S.W.A.T. series
9-1-1 series
November 8, 2024
The tree is dead
I don’t have much to say. I woke up into a world much more antagonistic to me, with the knowledge that friends and family decided that I was expendable and that what they probably wanted is not something they’re going to get anyway—unless the cruelty was the point, in which case, congratulations, you won.
For those saying it isn’t that bad: Yes. Yes, it is. This isn’t like last time at all, which was bad enough.
ALL ROADS LEAD TO ROME
there’s a trail of tears east to west
tracks of tears dusted with fine white powder
roads of silk and spice fallow with salt
paths from multitudinous veins
hearts beaten under vile souls
held up on broken backs of burden
so we would not dampen our slippers
or soil our gloves on rivers run red
sick sickened sickening
we cast out to claim
leave mile markers of smallpox
wash our hands of dysentery and cholera
of hundreds of miles of skin slough
burning and bubbling with boils
gasping in yellow mist screaming
i can’t breathe
all not exchanged in profit
burned for incense to please petit gods
at the top of a heap of hoarded gold
surrounded by guns for hire
and fire extinguishers
while children clutch stomachs screaming
i’m hungry
services render to business
like fat from meat charred to charcoal
ashes compressed to diamonds
worth more cremated than alive
just another river cursed
gold vein and gemstones panned
earth enslaved to artificial
the clamoring of sociopaths who
build blocks and knock them down
and refuse to share
we are what we prize
we put on pedestals such pedestrian shit
elevate the cruel
reward the heartless
ruthless brutal is in season in all these hotter months
neither saint nor sinner but trending says it’s so
compensate for attention
expose moments unmeant for mass consumption
all eyes on the movement
for a clever quip
my kingdom for a click
November 1, 2024
A single inch: Friday Update
I want to write a big thing here about what’s coming up, but I’m temperamentally incapable of writing about things that matter, at least directly. I can’t contain a single matter to a single post. There’s too many variables that feed into it and too many lives at stake. I’ve never been good at debate or argument. I see every side and try to address them to the point that I neglect my own.
I’m angry and I’m scared because my own personal life is at stake according to certain policies that certain politicians wish to implement, have already implemented, and will continue to make every effort to implement (and will likely succeed, regardless of who wins, due to keen long-game strategy). I’m angry and scared because my life is just one of billions at stake due to climate change (trillions, if you count the mass extinctions of other animals than humans). I’m angry and scared because I’m watching a slaughter in real time and people in power seem to have declared them not only expendable but vermin worthy of extermination. I could keep going, but what’s the use?
I don’t know how I’m going to get through these next few days and possibly these next few years. My only solution is to get through a day at a time and just be who I am for as long as I can. After all, who am I to have anything to say, other than someone who lives here, same as you?
I voted. There is a difference between a shit sandwich and a shit sandwich with a side of vomit and a glass of toxic waste. Please vote.
News:
Moved over to a new computer. Still fixing some glitches from the moving over of files, but I think I’ll have that finished by this weekend. I’ve gotten used to the new keyboard, and I’ve christened it with stickers, so I think she and I are in a good place now.
FOUND 2: More stories of found footage is out and available to all. My story “Nuisance Notifications” is part of it. All those notifications you get on the phone and can’t do anything about… All here, with all the other cursed media.
I don’t normally reference Amazon reviews because they’re easily accessible, but my Meridian series doesn’t get a lot of love, and I appreciated the review from Jennifer Hines (The Literary Tryst) for Avarice & Creed (Meridian Book 4):
Let me start off by saying this is the best book I have read in a while. It is also my first by Aurelia Evans. I have to say that now not only do I want to read the first three books in this series, but also see what else she may have written.
Works in Progress:
I had an outline in place for Rack & Ruin (Meridian Book 8) from after I finished Tooth & Claw (Meridian Book 7), so I’d know I had a story and because I seem to need outlines more often than I used to. Well, I opened up the R&R document and approached it with dread instead of excitement, and I was almost immediately bored. I wasn’t months ago when I came up with the story, but I think I need to do something different, so I’ve altered the main character, which makes certain elements of the story more interesting to me and less repetitive with other stories in the series. There will be some unanticipated challenges in working off the outline with this new main character, but I think I have more to look forward to with these changes. I certainly don’t want to finish up the Meridian series with a book I don’t like.
If it doesn’t work, I’ll do what I did for Tooth & Claw and set it aside for a while. I just hope I don’t have to. I’m ready to be done with the development of this series and down only to editing. I finished my first round of edits for Book & Candle (Meridian Book 5), and I’m just waiting for the final proofreading copy.
However, I think I’m generally tired from the work this year and from *waves at everything*. I’m looking forward to doing edits after R&R is through. Masque and the DRI were so much fun to write, and though Masque will need some extensive reworking, I’m looking forward to it. I may also need to find a developmental editor for the DRI to make sure I’m on the right track and get some feedback, because I’m too enamored with it. There’s so much Dracula stuff (for good reason, because it’s a blast), I don’t want to necessarily get lost under all the noise.
Things I’m Reading:
The Apocalypse and Satan’s Gloryhole by Timothy W. Long and Jonathan Moon
Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton
Things I’m Listening To:
Halloween playlist
Things I’m Watching:
Hell Fest
The Curse of Bridge Hollow
Murder, She Wrote: South by Southwest
Grave Encounters
As Above, So Below
Sleepy Hollow
Hocus Pocus
Trick ‘r’ Treat
Muppet Haunted Mansion
Rose Red series (finished)
Unsolved Mysteries series (finished)
Halloween Wars series (finished)
Halloween Baking Championship series (finished)
The Last Bite series (finished)
Outrageous Pumpkins series (finished)
Columbo series
S.W.A.T. series
Poem of the Week:
sagrado corazón
dead center bleeding
sanguinary transfusion
the blood of three
killing her sweetly
but blood of el maldito
brings vida eterna
la sangre es la vida
October 25, 2024
One-track mind: Friday Update
News:
No writing news to report.
I went to Grapevine’s Historic District last Saturday to make glass pumpkins and have a nice lunch with my mom. We passed by the marquee, where I just had to take a picture. I ended up seeing Dracula on my own last night, too.
Works in Progress:
I finished editing The Damp and got it under 40K from 48K by roughly a hundred words. I wanted to get it done in time for PitDark yesterday, because I wasn’t able to get to my other two dark novels in time and I wanted to pitch at least one new piece.
However, based on the last few PitDarks, I don’t think I’ll do another one, as fun as it is. It’s just not effective, and I hit the same problem I hit everywhere, which is that I can’t seem to get any kind of momentum. With Twitter in general death throes (honestly, Threads is more peaceful, although that won’t last once they implement ads or boosted posts, which is inevitable, because we can’t have nice things), no one has the reach they had and I don’t know how many editors or agents were even participating.
I’m discouraged, because I can’t afford indie editing in order to self-publish, but I think that’s my only option with In the Dollhouse We All Wait, A Woman Alone, poetry collections, and the May Cooler Heads Prevail novella. It’s a dilemma, all right, determining whether anything can afford to go out without external edits. I don’t have a lot of notes from my editors, but there’s a reason I have them.
The poetry can probably go out without second eyes. Maybe I can also manage May Cooler Heads Prevail, but I think the subject matter is still too raw and needs to wait until after the election to gauge if it’s right. However, like the poetry, I don’t know whether MCHP has much in the way of an audience.
However, Twitter pitches or not, I’ll have proper novels Masque and the DRI edited and ready to send to agents and presses by next year, so I guess that’s something.
I was sent my edits for Book & Candle (Meridian Book 5), so I’ve been working on them this week, and they’ve been pretty easy. If I don’t finish them today, I’ll finish fairly early tomorrow. Once it’s done, I’ll probably take a day to switch laptops, because the one I’ve been working on is breaking apart on the outside, and it’s only a matter of time before it cracks something essential on the inside.
Then I’ll start on Rack & Ruin (Meridian Book 8), the last Meridian novel. It’s nuts that I’ve almost written two full novel series.
Things I’m Reading:
The Apocalypse and Satan’s Gloryhole by Timothy W. Long and Jonathan Moon
Things I’m Listening To:
Halloween playlist
Things I’m Watching:
The Haunted Mansion (2003)
Twisted
Fright Night (2011)
Late Night with the Devil
Dracula (1931)
Rose Red series
Unsolved Mysteries series
Halloween Wars series
Halloween Baking Championship series
The Last Bite series
Outrageous Pumpkins series
Columbo series
Shogun series (finished)
S.W.A.T. series
Poem of the Week:
run home children run home soon
for the evening is dark and cold and long
and the monsters roam and the dead head home
as long as the lantern is still flickering
you will remain safe all the night
watched over by the harvest moon
low and large on the horizon screaming
