The tiny little rabbit: Friday Update
I didn’t miss this. Every day a fresh hell, and we’re not even in the vestibule. I’m scared every day, and it makes me want to be silent, blend into the background, play dead. All my creativity is gone. I don’t see the point, which of course means there’s tremendous need, but that doesn’t mean anything here.
My mind is an endless series of worst case scenarios and knowing how incredibly possible they are, and that they are certain people’s endgame (one of the only defenses I have against catastrophizing is telling myself the odds). It’s the little glimmers of hope that seem far more fragile and entirely dependent upon the enemy of my enemy being my friend. If he hadn’t won, those who voted for him wouldn’t have felt like this every time they wake up. This isn’t normal.
I hate this. I hate this world. I hate that it’s falling and didn’t have to, could have been prevented, that everything is of our own making yet out of so many people’s control. I don’t see a solution if no one has been willing to do what must be done every step of the way.
I really don’t think I’m going to make it out of this. I feel like I already died.
News:
Screams, from editor Judith Sonnet, is available on Godless now, if you don’t want to wait for it to be available on Amazon. My haunted-number story “Six” is part of this no-theme, old-school horror anthology.
Works in Progress:
I went ahead and scrapped the last book in the Meridian series, and this was before Election Day, so I can’t blame that. It just wasn’t working for me at all. If I can cobble together something new by this time next year and anything matters, I’ll write the novel, but if not, Meridian will just have to be seven novels, because I couldn’t come up with something fresh. It all felt like rehash of something I’d already done, and I can do that endlessly with theme but not really with characters.
I started on a pet Halloween-themed project that brings the Dracula characters into roughly the nineties, but the election stole my hope and joy and now I just don’t see the point. I’m going to try to continue it just for fun, but even that scares me, so… I don’t know what to do. I want to be brave and fierce and rebellious and resistant, but I’m just not.
I was able to complete the proofreading edit of Book & Candle (Meridian 5) and send that in. Pre-orders start in the new year.
Things I’m Reading:
The Apocalypse and Satan’s Gloryhole by Timothy W. Long and Jonathan Moon
Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton
Things I’m Listening To:
Svrcina
Nightwish
The Ring/The Ring 2 soundtrack
Things I’m Watching:
Practical Magic
Haunt
Gonjiam: Haunted Asylum
Legally Blonde the Musical
You’re Next
The Deliverance
The Sudbury Devil
The Irrational series
Elsbeth series
Matlock (new) series
Broadchurch series
CSI:NY series
CSI series
NCIS series
Columbo series
S.W.A.T. series
9-1-1 series
