Ingrid Kelada's Blog, page 3

Staying Focused on What Matters

Are you in a hurry?
When you go about your day, take a moment to look at the people around you. Do they look like they're in a hurry to get somewhere? Have you had the experience of asking friends or coworkers to meet for a gathering, only to be told, "Sorry, I'm super busy"? " Maybe you've been the one to have to put off get togethers or activities because your schedule simply doesn't have openings for those fun events. Busy seems to be the "new normal"...I noticed it can be embarrassing not to be busy these days! 

It's easy to become chronically busy. It's easy to develop the compulsion to be successful as fast as possible. It can be tempting to feel like in order to achieve our goals, we have to compress five years of work into one, by moving five times faster! But what's the cost of this kind of fast-paced, high-pressured living?

Make time to pause and reflect.
If we push too hard and neglect rest and recreational time, despite all our earnest and wholehearted attempts to be successful, we run out of steam and lose our sense of direction. It's like focusing on the trees, but failing to notice the forest. We can end up running in circles because we've lost sight of what's really important: the things that bring us joy, like family, friends, and rewarding experiences.

Those joyful things serve as a compass, giving us direction and guiding us toward happiness. When you notice yourself slipping into busy-mode, try setting aside a few minutes to reflect on what's important. Ask yourself these simple questions:

· What do I value in life?
· What does success mean to me?
· Has what I've done today brought me closer to my life's goals?
· How do I get from where I am, to where I want to be?

Yes, these questions require you to think deep; do some soul-searching. But when you have the answers, your mind will be clear. It's like driving a car with a clean windscreen... you can see where you’re going! I suggest you clean your mental windscreen every morning by taking time to reflect. That way, your VISION will be as sharp as can be. Everyone needs a Vision – that vivid mental image of what you'd like to be, do, and have in life. Without it, we can't see which way we're headed. And the only way to develop it is to pause, think, decide then...go for it, one step at a time. Remember, life is not a race.

Live an intentional life.
We have a finite amount of time to spend here on earth. Don't you want to spend that time in a life that's happy and rewarding? I know I do! So take a little time to slow down, pause, and reflect. Figure out what's important to you in life. Then spend more time doing what's important, rather than being busy everyday or chasing an imaginary shopping list of what it takes to be successful. Remember… better to walk slowly in the right direction, than to dash madly all over the place.

In my book 21 Days to Happiness , I talk about how to clean your mental windscreen in Day 5 of the journey to greater happiness. In this chapter, I explore how intentions can direct us toward happier, more energetic and productive lives.

Click here to learn more about 21 Days to Happiness

3 Steps to Deal With Worry

Are you a worrier?
"I know worry works because nothing I worry about ever happens."   Have you heard of this quote? It sounds funny, but it's not far from the truth! 

It's normal to worry from time to time, but more and more people seem to worry about the smallest stuff. They also worry about the big things, too, of course, like health, relationships, and finances.

Because worrying can be overwhelming and counterproductive, when writing my book 21 Days to Happiness , I decided to try to understand it through research and dedicated the chapter "Don't Worry Be Happy" to address how to decrease it. Maybe you'd like to know what to do about it.

3 Strategies for Peace of Mind:

1) Practice catching yourself. During a recent phone call with a friend, I caught the person worrying 5 times about 5 different things. I'm not kidding. "Hey, you're worrying again." What I've learned is that worry is a mental habit. You can change habits; but you have to catch yourself first in order to stop it.

2) Practice thought switching. Once you catch yourself worrying, decide to think about something else. By this I mean, think of something that is more positive, perhaps a project or passion that will take your mind off whatever you are worried about. Are you planing an event, a trip or have some work goals you could focus on? Remember, "worrying is like a rocking chair...it keeps you busy, but it doesn't get you anywhere."

3) Act, file, or throw it away. Decide to do one of three things: decide to address the issue right then by finding a solution; if you can't do anything about it at the moment, give yourself a time to address it later; or decide that it is not important and let it go. In other words, act on it, file it or throw it away.

Awareness and acknowledgment are the keys to changing our habits. If you tend to worry a lot, try to lighten up. 95% of what we worry about doesn't happen. What a waste of time and energy that can be. Of course, if there's a problem, find a solution...but let's not imagine and create problems that aren't there!

What strategies work for you? Leave a comment or post on my 21 Days to Happiness Facebook page to tell me about it.

My book, 21 Days to Happiness , describes additional strategies for setting aside worry for greater happiness. Click here for more on 21 Days to Happiness

Change Your Thoughts and the Rest Will Follow

"Progress is impossible without change, and those who
cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”
- George Bernard Shaw
Creatures of Comfort
Change often has a negative connotation for many people, especially when we have no choice. We are creatures of comfort and we automatically seek out what feels good in the moment. We long for comfort and this usually comes from that which we know; that which is familiar to us. Our minds and nervous systems are designed to find and attach meaning to everything. Something new can feel stressful, even scary.

Comfort in Patterns
Your mind and your nervous system has to understand and adapt to the unknown and this process feels uncomfortable on many levels. Our nervous system works primarily by conditioning and by repetition we notice consistency and assume patterns. This system is really there to serve us in helping us being more efficient and to be able to do more, with less effort. Your mind is designed to always look for the best way. Through repetition we learn certain orders and sequences in which things happen and we learn to recognize and respond according to these sequences. We feel more and more confident when we are familiar with something.

Recognize the Patterns
Simply be aware of the fact that there is a part of you that responds and acts based on your past experiences and associations. The challenge is to go from one pattern, one that does not serve you anymore, to one which will serve you more. Adapting to change, whether at work or at home will feel uncomfortable at first, but rest assured that the uncomfortable will become comfortable as you form new associations and new patterns of association.

Change is Inescapable
Remember that old saying: "If you can't beat them, join them"? All of life is constantly in a process of change. Nothing stays the same. It's the nature of all of life, including you. Even if you do nothing, life will still change. It's tempting to resist the change and hold onto what we know, but doing that often leaves us stressed and unhappy. What if instead, you make the choice to initiate changes and embrace new things?

Change is Growth
The process of making the uncomfortable comfortable is the way we grow as human beings. As you become comfortable with new things, they become part of your comfort zone.  Expanding this zone expands yourself as a person. The need to grow and develop is a need that all humans have. Without growth it is difficult to be happy for any length of time. Although it feels uncomfortable in the moment, personal and professional growth feel fulfilling in the long term and make us feel good in a more lasting way. It creates a sense of pride in yourself.

Change How You Think to Change How You Feel
All change starts with a change of mind. You have to start by changing your thoughts about the change.  Find a more positive way to look at an upcoming change. In changing the way you think about something you immediately change your perception and consequently the way you feel about it. When you change the way you feel you change your behavior and that's how you progress. Thoughts lead to feelings, and feelings lead to behavior. ​Trying to change behavior without first addressing your thoughts and feelings will rarely create  lasting change.

​So remember this simple secret...change your thoughts and the rest will follow!

I share a lot of tips on how to change your thoughts in my book 21 Days to Happiness. I hope you find them useful.

7 Unique Ways to Make Someone Smile

Making Someone Smile is Easier Than You Think.
Do you want to put a smile on someone's face?  Maybe make their day a little bit brighter?  It doesn't have to take much time or money on your part.  In fact, many things can be done as a part of your normal routine and cost little or nothing.  We  often underestimate how people can be affected by an act of kindness and they are contagious, so it's well worth the small effort. Try out one or more of these 7 ways today, and put a smile on someone's face. Spread a little happiness today!

1. Send a positive message. We often don't take the time to send a positive email or text message. Handwritten notes are even more rare...just grab a "Post-It". Start a new practice: take a few minutes to write/send a positive note on a regular basis. You just might start an epidemic!

2. Take someone out to lunch or coffee or invite them to your home.  You will get to know each other even better than you do right now. If you feel like being more adventurous, throw a small party for several of your friends or colleagues and put smiles on a multitude of faces.

3. Give someone an inspirational book to read. You will feel good doing it, reading the book can change or inspire the person, and they will think of you every time they read it. You can share my book, 21 Days to Happiness, or one of the books from my recommended reading list!

4. Offer to babysit or take care of a pet for a few hours. You know the value of being able to have a few hours of "alone time" without worrying about the children and pets. Don't wait to be asked. Offer to do it at a time when the person can do something fun and relaxing.

5. Deliver a meal to someone you know that is sick or having a rough time. We have all been sick and know the last thing you want to do is to cook. There are also times when life is tough and it is hard to do all of the daily chores. You can be a tremendous help by providing a meal that can be enjoyed.

6. Volunteer your time to a local charity.  Every minute you dedicate will cause many smiles.  It is very rewarding to help without being asked. 

7. Thank everyone that supports you throughout the day.  The list of those that you come in contact with is endless.  Remember family and friends, co-workers, teachers, store employees, janitors, those that deliver your mail and staff at restaurants.

Don't Forget to Smile
So there you have it. Seven ideas for ways to make someone smile. There is one more way that can't be ignored: reveal a genuine smile to everyone you meet.​ You will experience how easy it is to get others to smile!

Learn more about happiness and how to spread happiness to others in my book 21 Days to Happiness . Order a copy for yourself and one to share with a friend! Click for more about 21 Days to Happiness

Finding Balance at Work and Home

Sometimes We Chase the Wrong Things
In a culture obsessed with high tech gadgetry, cellphones, credit cards, fast cars, large houses, and job titles, it should be no surprise that most people experience stress and anxiety.  The strain of striving after material advantage and the dictates of the Almighty Dollar have made many people virtual slaves in their jobs.

Even after working more than 50 hours a week or getting every material need and luxury that money can buy, many people still live unhappily.  Success at work, instead of bringing fulfillment, leaves many people with a feeling emptiness and disillusionment.

But there is still hope for the tired professional and the exhausted worker.  Stress and anxiety need not ruin lives and careers.  To get back on track, it may be helpful to consider the following advice on how to be an achiever who lives a balanced life:

Identify what's important
What we really are lacking is balance.  A good start would be to have a career and life plan that balances your time and effort between work and home. If we plan carefully, we will most likely make the right action or choices. Life shouldn't be a big enigma. Life can be made simple and enjoyable. A career or life plan must start with having a stated purpose. 

Knowing what you really want helps you get rid of unnecessary fatigue brought about by things which are not really important.  Knowing your priorities also help you get rid of unnecessary worries and prevents you from wasting energy. Writing it down --- putting your plan on paper --- is the first step on having a balanced life.

Your first task is to identify what you want.  Do you prefer to have  a fun personal or family life, vibrant health more than having financial success or a well-respected position?  Maybe you can have both without making any sacrifice in terms of time or quality of life? Write it down! Goals are much easier to achieve when we identify them and list them on paper.

Quick questions
To get our bearings, it is important to be constantly aware of our priorities.  A good way to start redefining one's priorities is by answering the following questions:

Are you neglecting yourself physically, mentally or spiritually?Are you neglecting your spouse, your children, your peers?Are you fulfilling your commitments?Are you operating in your comfort zone?
Don't be discouraged if you answered "yes" to some of those questions. Taking a moment to acknowledge where your life is out of balance is a great first step toward happiness. Once you've identified problem areas, you can begin making changes that lead you toward a happier, more fulfilled life.

It's All About Balance
You have the power to manage your everyday stresses. You have opportunity to make healthy changes in your life. It may take time, but don't be afraid to start now. These helpful tips will ease the pressures and get you moving toward happiness.

Focus – Take a few minutes to focus. Which tasks from your to-do list are the ones you really want to do? Which ones can be delegated? What happens if something from your list doesn't get completed today? You'll often find it won't be a crisis if you have to push a few things back to another day.Don't be the Lone Ranger for every crisis or situation - Even The Lone Ranger can used a sidekick. Not every job can be effectively accomplished alone.Give yourself a pat on the back - Every once in a while, give yourself credit. Acknowledge all the good things you have done.Take breaks to recharge - Even a quick five-minute walk can help you clear your mind and refocus. You'll find after a break, you have more energy, and return to your tasks feeling refreshed.
Do Happy
You always have a choice about how to respond to the world you live in. Being proactive and taking some time for self-care and prioritizing will go a long way toward reducing stress and the feeling of being overwhelmed. Do what makes you happy!

Get More Great Tips
You can find more great tips on how to be a happier, healthier, more energetic person in my book 21 Days to Happiness , which is NOW AVAILABLE AS AN AUDIOBOOK. Listen on your commute to work, or while taking your daily walk and refresh your mind as well as your body. Click here to learn more about 21 Days to Happiness

What better way to start the new year?

"The new year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written. We can help write that story by setting goals."
Melodie Beattie


​Is there a better way to start the new year than to prioritize your happiness?
Each year, as a new chapter begins, most people reflect on what changes and improvements they want to strive for. We all love the idea of a fresh start and setting goals.

Unfortunately, many of us abandon our resolutions after just a few weeks. A fascinating study I read found that we tend to pick the exact same resolutions year after year...hello!!...Healthy body anyone?

My book is a guide, broken down into simple, doable tips. Each day, I not only share with you why the tip works based on science and how I apply it in my life, but I also provide tools like APPS and videos.

Why don't you start this year with me? I have been practicing psychology for more than 25 years and I am setting you up for success. 

I wish you a very, very HAPPY new year!

Ingrid

How Office Plants Can Boost Your Happiness

Get a plant and bring nature indoors.
Well, most of us are eager to take a few days off for the holidays. Here's an idea: plan to buy a plant for your office or home. If you don't have the chance to go outdoors as much as you would like, why not bring a little outdoors, indoors?

Even a small plant can make a big difference!
Working indoors all day can feel draining sometimes. One simple way to boost your happiness in the office is to bring a little nature into your workspace with you!

While you can't control the indoor climate in an office, you can improve the way the space looks and feels by brightening it up with a plant or two.

Office spaces can easily become too hot, too cold, too dry or too damp. Finding the perfect balance of temperature and air quality for a group of people is a big challenge as we all have different preferences.

In addition printers, copiers, computer monitors, floor coverings, paint and wallpaper can release substances into the air which affects the quality of the indoor climate.

The potential consequences of poor air quality are well known: irritated eyes, headache, skin complaints and dry membranes in the nose and mouth. This is not only unpleasant, it is also unhealthy.

Yet you can easily improve the indoor climate by using plants! Plants help create a healthy indoor climate and a happier workplace. Not only do they put water vapor back into the air, they also absorb heat and filter dust and harmful substances out of the air.

The effect of plants in the workplace has been the subject of repeated scientific investigation. Time after time the conclusion is the same: plants work! Here are some ways they help improve the quality of our work areas.

Fewer complaints & less illness
Some indoor palms give off a lot of water, which helps keep humidity in the air and prevent dry eyes and nasal membranes. Plants like sword ferns cleanse the air of the formaldehyde released by building materials, paper and furniture. Other good air-purifying plants are the rubber plant, English ivy and date palm.

More plants means less stress
The presence of plants does not just affect the physical climate. Researchers have discovered that a view of greenery can result in a demonstrable reduction in stress within five minutes. Research has shown that people who spend more than four hours a day working at a computer monitor feel better and are more productive with plants in the workplace!

The green view
Companies are increasingly willing to accept that they have a key role to play in protecting the environment and the welfare of their employees, and therefore often strive for a 'green' image. Presenting such an image starts with a healthy indoor environment. Plants at work fit perfectly within many company policies. Check with your employer to see what the workplace rules are regarding plants in the office.

Bring a little bit of nature to your desk or home
With your employer's blessing, you can give the gift of a better workplace to yourself and those around you. Bring a little nature to your desk by adding a plant which purifies the air or helps reduce stress and makes you feel more productive. If you don't work in an office or at a desk, get a few more plants for your home. Look for plants which do well in lower light settings and avoid flowering plants as others may have allergies.

In my book, 21 Days to Happiness, I talk about the importance of spending time outside in nature. It can be difficult to get outside every day, especially if you live in a place with cold winters. Bringing a few plants inside isn't a substitute for all the benefits of getting outdoors, but it's a small, easy thing you can do to improve your happiness in the time you spend inside.

From me to you, HAPPY holidays...it'll be a perfect time to read my book or offer it to someone special and apply some of the tips , especially the ones focusing on family and friends and taking care of you!
Click here to learn more about by book 21 Days to Happiness

Ingrid's Top Ten Happy Holiday Gift Ideas

It’s that exciting time of the year again!
How I love the holidays: it's a time to share meals and snuggles with our loved ones. It’s also often an opportunity to take a few days off and take care of ourselves, catching up on our reading, seeing friends and family, participating in some outdoor activities…
 
One day I hope to find my book 21 Days to Happiness on "Oprah’s list". What an awesome accomplishment that would be!

In the mean time I was thinking, while I wait for the good news from Oprah's people, why don’t I share my own happy gift list with you? Here are 10 things you can buy as a way to say, "thank you," or, "I love you," to someone you appreciate or...why not, from you to you!
 
These 10 gifts, if combined, would make a perfect "happy day" during the holidays. Picture this…#1: A pair of comfy pants  for her ​or for him like these are the first thing you want when you wake up. [image error] [image error] #2: Then, turn on your " happy light " for an extra boost of positive energy! [image error] #3 and 4: Next, use a few drops of high-quality essential oils and this fabulous diffuser . These are 6 basic essential oils and this is the diffuser I use myself-- it's so practical and creates just the right mood! [image error] [image error] #5: Before you do anything else, how about a hot treat to warm you up? Use a cool  mug  for him or for her for your morning coffee, tea, or warm lemon water. Ahhh! So good. [image error] [image error] [image error] #6: Next, use this smiley face pan  to make eggs or pancakes. I have a great healthy, simple recipe for mine: 1 egg, 1 mushed banana and a scoop of protein powder. Yum!#7: Enjoy your breakfast while listening to this classic bossa nova album by Astrud Gilberto …instant vacation! [image error] [image error] #8, 9, and 10:  At the end of your day, make yourself a hot spa bath…pure heaven! Add a bath bomb  to your hot water, light a non-toxic candle , et voilà! Instant at home spa! I use this bath caddy . You can even add a glass of wine. [image error] [image error] #11: Bonus! Soak in the tub and enjoy a few pages of my book, 21 Days to Happiness . [image error] Acts of kindness are one of the best ways to increase your happiness and the happiness of those around you. Why not pick a few things from my list and share them with those you love-- or spoil yourself this holiday! Nothing wrong with a little self-care sprinkled in with your holiday giving. Remember, happiness is contagious. So when you feel great, you spread even more happiness!

Visit my books and more page for even more holiday ideas.Click here to start your journey with 21 Days to Happiness Win a Signed Copy of 21 Days to Happiness

Right now on Goodreads, you can enter for a chance to win one of two signed copies of 21 Days to Happiness! Click here to view the giveaway details.

21 Days to Happiness Book Tour

Exciting news!
My book, 21 Days to Happiness  is going on tour! Over the next few weeks, you can follow along and visit blog stops to see reviews, guest posts I've written, and interviews about my writing process, as well as some behind-the-scenes information about 21 Days to Happiness . Don't miss the chance to enter the giveaway featured at many stops where you could win a copy of my book and an Amazon gift card. Sound good? I've listed each blog below so you can check out the posts and see what each one offers.

21 Days to Happiness Virtual Book Tour Schedule
Nov 27 - Working Mommy Journal - review / giveaway
Nov 28 - Library of Clean Reads - review / giveaway
Nov 28 - Everyday Gyaan - book spotlight / guest post
Nov 29 - Books, Dreams, Life - book spotlight / author interview / giveaway
Nov 29 - The Autistic Gamer - review
Nov 30 - Travelling Through Words - book spotlight / author interview / giveaway
Nov 30 - Cheryl's Book Nook - book spotlight / giveaway
Dec 1 -   Simple Wyrdings - review / giveaway
Dec 4 -   A Mama's Corner of the World - review / guest post
Dec 4 -   Stylish Brunette - book spotlight / giveaway
Dec 5 -   eBook Addicts - review / giveaway
Dec 5 -   #redhead.with.book - book spotlight / giveaway
Dec 6 -   Take It Personel-ly - review / guest post / giveaway
Dec 6 -   A Holland Reads - review / giveaway
Dec 7 -   Laura's interests - review / guest post
Dec 7 -   alwaysjoart - review/ giveaway
Dec 8 -   NorthernMSW - review / author interview
Dec 11 - From Isi - review
Dec 11 - Writers and Authors - book spotlight / guest post
Dec 12 - JBronder Book Reviews - review / guest post
Dec 13 - Fur Everywhere - review / giveaway
Dec 14 - Wander Girl Life - review / giveaway
Dec 15 - One Frugal Girl - review / giveaway

My goal is to spread happiness with my book,  21 Days to Happiness  and I can not do it alone! Please share, like and post...it's a small act of kindness that can help someone. Don't just "be happy", "do happy!" Click here to learn more about 21 Days to Happiness

Giving Happiness

We ALL want happiness
We all want to feel useful and make a difference. It is even better when we get appreciation and recognition. We tend to look for some kind of validation from friends, family and our colleagues or boss. It makes us feel good about ourselves and raises our confidence in ourselves. It can create feelings of positive self-esteem, which is very important. It makes us happy.

But how do you get the appreciation and recognition, or those positive responses from others?

Be the happiness GIVER
Instead of waiting for others to notice the good things about ourselves, be the person who notices the good in others. Make a point to praise the people around you, even for small things. Thank a person who holds a door open for you. Offer appreciation for a job well done. Notice the things your peers do well and compliment them. Point out the little things your friends or partner do which you often take for granted and take time to be thankful for them.

Watch the Happiness Multiply
When you give happiness to someone else, an amazing thing happens: their happiness in turn makes us happier, too. It happens immediately. We experience a sense of satisfaction. It elevates our self-esteem. We feel good. By making others happy, we get happiness. So let's be proactive and increase our personal happiness by giving happiness to others.

My book, 21 Days to Happiness, talks about sharing kindness with others as part of your journey toward greater happiness. With the American Thanksgiving and the holidays around the corner, I hope you enjoy time spent gathered with family and friends, and I hope giving the gift of happiness to the special people in your life makes this holiday season a special, happy time. Click to Learn More About 21 Days to Happiness