Ingrid Kelada's Blog, page 2

5 Easy Ways to Improve Your Happiness

Variety is the Spice of Happiness
Have you ever felt trapped by your day to day schedule? Maybe you feel like you're busy all the time or you simply don't have anything coming up soon that you're really looking forward to. Being busy or simply maintaining our day-to-day responsibilities can make life feel monotonous. We feel like we're missing something.

Trying something new-- big or small-- can give us a boost of happiness in a lot of ways. Not only does planning the new thing give us something to look forward to and anticipate, actually doing it can be a fun adventure. Then we have a story to tell and a memory to look back on, which is like a happiness bonus!

5 Cheap, Easy Ways to Boost Your Happiness with Something New
Here are some quick and easy ideas for new adventures you can try on any budget and with limited free time.

1. Try a new food. You can browse an aisle at the grocery store you rarely visit and try something new, like a soup or unusual fruit. Or you can invite friends to a restaurant you've never visited before. If you opt to go out with friends, consider ordering different dishes to share, so you each get to try several different items. Feeling even more adventurous? Invite a friend over to try a new recipe or style of cooking together!

2. Visit a place you've never been. Look online to find your city's website or community calendar. Is there a museum you've never been to? A park? Maybe there's a jazz night or community orchestra concert you can attend. Check nearby theaters for live community theater performances.

3. Try reading a book outside your usual genre. Look for a book you might not ordinarily pick up, but something that strikes your interest. Maybe the memoir of a famous person or historical figure you've always been interested in. If you're worried about finding time to sit and read, try an audiobook to listen to on the go!

4. Change up your routine. Take a different route to work or the grocery store or gym. Take a walk outside instead of on the treadmill or at the gym. Get up ten minutes earlier and sit outside with your morning coffee.

5. Rearrange your furniture in your bedroom, living room or office. Moving things around will make the room feel fresh and new. You can spice things up even more by adding a new houseplant or a vase with fresh cut flowers.

Doing something new might take a little bit of planning, but the burst of energy and happiness it brings you makes trying a new thing worthwhile. Sharing these experiences with a friend or loved one will deepen those relationships. You'll also find you feel a glow of happiness long afterward when you look back on the experience and remember it.

You can learn more about how experiences bring happiness in my book, 21 Days to Happiness . Click the button below to learn more. 21 Days to Happiness

Happiness Versus Pleasure

Seeking Pleasure
In our society, we spend a lot of time seeking pleasure. We work hard, and many times we want to play just as hard. Having fun and spending time with friends are great things, but those pleasure-seeking experiences don't always leave us feeling truly happy. Why is that?

The Difference Between Happiness and Pleasure
Pleasure is that momentary high we feel in the midst of a good experience: a fabulous meal, a hilarious joke, making love, and so on. It comes from an external source. It's a response to what's happening around us, directly affecting our senses. Unfortunately, this great feeling doesn't last beyond the good experience causing it.

Happiness is a long-lasting feeling that isn't directly affected by what's happening to us in the moment. It has some overlap with pleasure. For instance, if you go out for dinner with a good friend, you will experience pleasure from the tasty meal and the funny parts of your conversation. But you will experience happiness from sharing an evening with someone you care about and creating new memories together. The relationship brings you happiness. The act of sharing yourself with someone else, being open, listening to another person and being listened to, bring happiness. And that happiness lasts long after the meal ends, and you've gone home.

Transitioning Our Pursuit from Pleasure to Happiness
One of the big problems with chasing pleasure is that it's a bottomless hole we can never fill. As soon as the pleasurable experience ends, the feeling fades. We have to hurry to the next good experience in order to recapture that high again. We rush from one experience to the next-- more food, more money, more success at work, more things filling our homes-- in order to feel pleasure. Chasing pleasure can be as addictive as drugs or alcohol.

What if instead, we focus on happiness? Taking the time to invest in meaningful relationships with others, to share acts of kindness with those around us, or simply slowing down and finding ways to show gratitude for the good things in our lives can make a huge difference in how we feel. In fact, those things and other keys to happiness can boost our lasting happiness and joy.

Learn More About Happiness
Changing the way you think about happiness and pleasure can be overwhelming at first. The good news is you don't have to do it alone! I can help guide you step-by-step through a journey toward lasting happiness, joy, and energy. And it only takes a few minutes a day. My book, 21 Days to Happiness, will lead you through 21 days of practical life strategies that will increase your happiness, energy, and productivity.

How Connections Create Happiness

Connections Are Key
Do you want to know one of the best secrets to true happiness? It's probably not what you think. One of the greatest ways to have a happy life is to create connections with others.

Does this sound too easy? Too hard? The truth is, relationships can be challenging. But they also bring the greatest rewards we can imagine.

Connections with People
Think about the people in your life with whom you have connections. You look forward to seeing them. They give your life some unpredictability. Something to look forward to. You never know exactly what they'll say or do.

A chat with a friend or peer can provide an opportunity to celebrate your successes or share a disappointment and gain some perspective or get some advice.

"A joy that's shared is a joy made double"
Proverb

Connections with Nature
In addition to connecting with people, forging a connection with the world gives us the opportunity to step away from the chaos and appreciate the greatness around us. Spend time outside, listening to the sounds of nature. You'll find just doing this alleviates some feelings of anxiety and stress.

Take a walk and enjoy the trees, flowers, and birds around you. Allow yourself a few moments to marvel at how intricate and beautiful nature really is. Focus on that feeling of gratitude.

Feel happier? Great!

Take Happiness with You
Take that positive experience with you to your next appointment or meeting. Smile when you greet other people. Ask other people how they're doing, and mean it. Giving your attention forges connections with people and spreads happiness. They'll feel happier, and so will you.

This kind of connected life will take the focus away from your complaints. Instead of noticing all the things that don't go the way you want, you'll begin to notice the things that you're grateful for. People want to spend more time with someone who makes them feel good. When you are a person full of gratitude and positive energy, that makes people want to spend more time with you.

Create Authentic Connections
This doesn't mean you can't vent to or confide in others. You don't have to pretend to be happy when you aren't. People feel close to someone who shares an authentic self. If you're unhappy, and need to talk about something, seek out a trusted friend and open up to them.

It may prove to be an opportunity for you both to bond and explore solutions and paves the way for new, happier experiences to come.

In my book, 21 Days to Happiness , I talk about how important connections to others are for happiness and how to nurture those relationships. Find out more in my book  in Day 19, Relationships: Better than Money in the Bank. Get 21 Days to Happiness Now

20 Ways to Make Someone Smile

Spread Happiness with a Smile
Do you want to put a smile on someone's face today? Maybe make their day a little better? It won't cost a single penny or much time to do just that. And because smiling is contagious, you'll find that making one person smile causes happiness to spread like a sweet smell on a warm breeze.

20 Ways to Make Someone Smile

Challenge yourself. See how many of these smile-spreading techniques you can complete this week!

1.  Smile at someone.
2.  Compliment a friend or work colleague.
3.  Donate something to charity.
4.  Take a friend out to lunch.
5.  Let someone know you miss them.
6.  Make a surprise call to your partner or a friend at work, just to say hi.
7.  Hold a door open for someone walking behind you.
8.  Hug your partner for no reason.
9.  Share a joke with someone.
10. Send a card or note to a friend or coworker letting them know you appreciate something they've done.
11. Give up your seat on the train or bus to someone.
12. Share your umbrella on a rainy day.
13. Ask a friend if they need anything while you're out shopping.
14. Plan a picnic! Raining outside? How about an indoor picnic!
15. Leave a love letter somewhere where your partner will find it.
16. Send someone an unexpected gift like a tasty snack or a book they'll enjoy.
17. Tell your child you're proud of them or tell a coworker they're doing a great job.
18. Tell someone you thought about them.
19. Cook a surprise meal for your partner or friends one night, especially if they normally do the cooking.
20. Send some flowers to your partner or a friend at work.

Did you know it takes only 17 muscles to smile, but 43 to frown. Why waste all that energy frowning when you could just smile.

Here are 5 more facts about smiling.

1. Women smile more than men.
2. Smiling releases endorphins that make us feel better.
3. We are all born with the ability to smile, it's not something we learn from others.
4. A smile is a universal expression of happiness.
5. A smiling person is thought to be a more pleasant, attractive, sociable, sincere and competent than a non-smiling person.

Just remember, smiling is the easiest and cheapest way of improving your looks.

For more tips and ideas on spreading happiness through acts of kindness, check out Day 9 Kindness: Pay It Forward in my book, 21 Days to Happiness.

Are You Chasing the Butterfly of Happiness?

Is Happiness Like a Butterfly?
Sometimes we treat happiness like it's an elusive butterfly in the garden of life. Imagine a young child in the garden on a summer day. He sees a beautiful butterfly flitting from flower to flower. He wants to see it close up, touch it, and hold it in his hands. But as he moves towards the flower that the butterfly is resting on, just as he gets within reach, the butterfly moves to another flower. And so the child follows the butterfly to the next flower, and then the next. But the butterfly always stays just out of reach.

Even to adults, happiness can seem just like that butterfly: always just out of reach. It can become almost an obsession and the words “if only…” become an increasingly large part of our thoughts and vocabulary. "If only I had more money I would be happy, if only I was in a great relationship I would be happy, if only I could have a different job..." and the list goes on. This kind of thought life doesn't lead to greater happiness.

If we achieve one of our “if only “desires, the happiness we seek somehow manages to stay just out of our reach. Do you remember the expression about the grass being greener on the other side? It's the same idea.

Where does happiness come from?
The truth is, we won't be completely satisfied by external events or circumstances. To find happiness in life we must first be at peace internally. External events and circumstances can bring us happiness in the moment, but they do not have a lasting effect on our inner self. Life brings a mixture of good and bad circumstances to everyone. To rely on life’s experiences for our source of happiness would mean living life in a constant emotional roller coaster ride. Wouldn't it be better to learn to have a steady feeling of contentment rather than be at the mercy of circumstances and be tossed from the high and low feelings like a ship in a storm?

Happiness comes from within. The inner contentment that survives the roller coaster ride of life has its roots deep within our being. The source of happiness comes from finding and embracing who we are as a person, and living a life of purpose. We need to find peace in every aspect of our life- the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Acceptance, purpose and peace in all of these areas will give a sense of completion in life.

Is happiness an elusive butterfly for you? Spend some time in quiet reflection. Are you neglecting one of the four important parts of who you are and experiencing a sense of emptiness within? The more you discover, embrace and accept your uniqueness and purpose, the more you will be able to stop chasing the elusive butterfly of happiness and instead experience the butterfly of happiness coming to you and alighting on your shoulder.

You can read more about finding a sense of happiness within yourself in the first chapter of my book, 21 Days to Happiness, Day 1 on gratitude.

Nature: One of the Greatest Sources of Happiness

The Cost of Time Spent in Nature
Going outside is free!  Nature is there for everybody to stand and stare and take happiness and comfort from.  The trees do not distinguish between rich and poor, strong and weak, man and woman.  Warm sunshine is free; the glow of the moon is free. You don't have to pay for the cool breeze, warm seashore, towering mountains, smooth flowing rivers, or the dark and inviting forests. You can enjoy them all for free.

Take Time to Enjoy Nature Around You
Instead of sitting during a break, try taking a short, brisk walk outside. Take your lunch to a park or outdoor area and enjoy a picnic. This weekend, invite a friend to hike a nearby trail with you, or take a day trip to a park or forest. Explore someplace new!

While you spend time outside, breathe deeply. Look at the sky. Notice how big the world is, how limitless the sky feels. Listen to the sounds of nature around you, and let them recharge you.

The sky, the sun, the ocean, rain and sunshine, all are there for us to possess fully.  You can stare at the sky at any time and claim all of it for your happiness. For that moment, it is all your.

Let your time in nature alter your perspective on your problems. The universe, the earth even, is far bigger than our worries. Time away from our usual routines also gives us a break and lets our minds rest instead of running on the hamster wheel, rehashing a worrisome situation over and over.
    
The Bank Account of Nature
Just like the bank account where you keep your financial resources, nature is like a happiness bank account. When you need to spend money, you make a draw from your bank account. In the same way, when you need a happiness boost, make a withdrawal of time spent in nature. You'll feel the difference after spending even just a few minutes.

For more practical ways to boost your happiness and more on the ways spending time in nature improves happiness, pick up a copy of my book, 21 Days to Happiness and see Day 6 on Nature: Step Outside for Happiness. Learn More about 21 Days to Happiness

10 Keys to Happiness

We are Always Pursuing Happiness
Think about it ... every single thing we do is intended to make us happier. The people we choose to spend time with. The ways we spend our time.  And yet sometimes we get distracted and do things that actually move us away from this goal.

We all have the potential for genuine happiness. We make choices throughout our lives. Each option is like a series of locked doors in front of us. We choose which path to follow and open the door we've chosen. The result of all these choices combined determines our level of happiness. Make the right choices and happiness can be yours.

Ten Keys to Greater Happiness
Here are some tactics we can follow on our journey toward genuine happiness:  

1. Look For The Positive In Everything:  You know the old saying about a glass being half-full or half-empty? Finding the positive means choosing to focus on the parts of a situation that are going your way. Do this and you will be happier. Those who soar against all odds, do so because they look at the positive that could come out of their situation, how ever bad it may seem to others.

2. Accentuate The Positive:  From a young age we are taught what we must not do instead of what we may do. Don't run with scissors. Don't jump on the bed. Don't cross the street without looking both ways. Even in day-to-day life, there is more negative influence that positive. Luckily you can work to improve the balance. Phrase things in your mind as positives. Focus on DO  rather than DON'T. Celebrate the positive and work to get more of it. When you achieve something, congratulate yourself!

3. Practice Good Selfishness:  When we were young we were taught that putting our interests before those of others is wrong. This is particularly true for women, many of whom sacrifice their dreams and ambitions to help others achieve theirs. It is also common in the corporate world where the good of the company is considered more important than the good of the individual. Helping others and being a team player are important things, but we need boundaries to protect ourselves from being manipulated or abused by others. You are important, and you must look after yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually.

4. Listen To Your Feelings:  Feelings are your body's messengers. They make us aware of circumstances around and inside us. Sometimes those messages are pleasant, other times not. Our tendency is to distract ourselves from unpleasant feelings or to resist them in some way. Sometimes we tell ourselves we shouldn't be angry or sad or frustrated by something that has happened to us. The next time you have a feeling like this, take a moment to stop and experience it. So what if it's caused by a situation outside your control (like frustration over rush hour traffic). Take a deep breath an acknowledge your feeling. You don't have to live in it, but pushing it away or pretending it isn't there isn't healthy either.

5. Give More:  The more you give, the more you receive. It seems that the more of yourself you give, the greater the thrill and uplifting effect on your psyche. Help the needy. Give time if you can. Give anonymously, even if you lose the tax deduction!

6. Visualize Your Happiness:  You have the ability to make things happen using your mind. Top sports stars, and business people use it, and so can you. Get a picture in your mind of whatever it is that you want to happen. It does not actually have to be a visual picture; it could be a feeling, a smell, a sound, or any combination of the senses. Imagine finding the perfect parking near the entrance as you arrive at the supermarket or mall … the sky is the limit, but persevere! We are not used to utilizing this tool, so it takes practice.

7. Accept The Things You Cannot Change:  We resist things we don’t like, and often expend a tremendous amount of energy on this resistance. When something bothers you, take a moment to ask yourself, "Can I do anything to change this situation?" If the answer is yes, get to it! But if the answer is no, then give yourself a moment to feel the disappointment or frustration and then begin to move on.

8. Take Responsibility For Your Choices:  Nobody's perfect. At one time or another, we will all face uncomfortable consequences. Sometimes they're the result of mistakes or impulsive actions. But even the most careful planning can't guarantee safety from negative consequences. It can feel convenient to blame outside causes for things that go wrong in life, but your life is the sum of all the choices you make along the way. If you tend to blame other people or things, it may be scary to take responsibility for what happens in your life, but it is really quite liberating because instead of seeing yourself as an effect of outside forces, you realize you are the cause of everything good you achieve. Don’t abdicate responsibility for your life.

9. Schedule Regular “Me Time”:  Take time alone to inventory your life. Spend some time analyzing where you are in life, your strengths and weaknesses. How can you turn the latter into the former? Think about your views on everything from your job to global warming and the existence of aliens—then work out why you feel the way you do. Is your reasoning sound? The better you understand yourself, the better you understand the world.

10. Make Time To Meditate:  We spend almost all our time thinking of the past or planning for the future. We seldom spend time in the present. Your meditation could be formal meditation or prayer, but it could be as simple as merely focusing on each breath as it goes in and out for five or ten minutes, dismissing past and future thoughts as they arise—and they will!

The more successful you are at assimilating the concepts and processes described in these points into your life, the more genuinely happy you will be, and the happiness will last!

Look for more keys to boost your happiness, productivity and energy in my book, 21 Days to Happiness. Boost your happiness with 21 Days to Happiness

Work-Play Integration: the new Work-Life Balance

Integration for Life Harmony
Balance. It's a nice word but the reality is hard to pin down. It may not even put us on the right track in our quest for fulfillment and happiness. Today we will talk more about  "work-play integration".

Let's think about integration, which means bringing the various pieces of our lives into a cohesive whole. We each have many roles, goals, responsibilities and life plans. We have to consider all of those aspects globally and identify clear priorities.

Identify Priorities
Experience shows people best at balancing their lives are ones who have very clear priorities and their own clear definition of success. They know what's most important in their lives. These are people who can say, before it happens: if I have to make a choice between different activities, I know what my biggest priority is.

Recognize the Choices You're Making
Sometimes we fall into going through life feeling like we don't have a choice. We let the new promotion or the new demands of the job dictate what we do. This is not a balanced life road. We need to stop and reflect, communicate more with your significant other and your manager at work...basically be more pro-active and take charge.

Take Time to Unplug
It's easy to find we have too much to do. Technology has changed things and made people accessible 24 hours a day, encroaching on the peaceful "unplugged" time people used to have. Yet some things don't change. We still have 24 hours a day. We all have the same amount of time, and how we use it comes down to a personal choice.

Use Management Skills in All Areas of Your Life
For a balanced life, basic management skills have to be used at home as well as in the workplace. One of the reasons why many people prefer going out to work to working at home is that we're very organized in the workplace. We use time management there, and then we come home and just ride the waves, allowing  the latest problem that has cropped up to dictate our time. Instead, try bringing some organization into your home life. Plan a weekly dinner with friends or a family game night. Schedule an activity for yourself from time to time as an opportunity to take care of yourself and re-energize.

Day 20 of my book, 21 Days to Happiness , focuses on creating happiness at work through the use of our strengths and talents. Check it out, and let me know which chapter helps you most!
Learn more about 21 Days to Happiness

Secrets of a Positive Attitude

Managing Your Mental Diet
Are you bombarded by thoughts of negativity? Have feelings of insecurity, stress or worry? This is normal...just watch the news and notice how many stories are negative and dramatic! You are what you mentally and spiritually eat.

This is the time to go on a diet; A diet of "positive attitude". You have to literally stop feeding your mind negative things. Ask yourself is this thought positive or negative? What do negative thoughts look like? Well, they start with "can't" rather than "can", "no" as opposed to "yes", or focus on "won't" instead of "will". We tend to let our thoughts control us. Let's flip this around.

Identifying the Subject of Negative Thoughts
A great way to know what we are negative about is to ask those people who are closest to us. Ask your spouse or a close friend how they would rate your attitude on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being super positive and 1 super negative. Ask this person to be totally honest with you. You will benefit from their honesty.

Ask this person what it is that you specifically say that they perceive as negative. What do you complain about? Write down what they say and look at the actual words. Now is the time to be honest with yourself. Those words are a reflection of what is inside you. They reflect who you are. Consider patterns that emerge. Are you sometimes negative about your health? Work? Relationships? Are you afraid of things which could happen but often never do?

Flip the Switch
The great thing is that you can change these thoughts. Complaining is just a bad habit! It is as simple as making a choice to do so. It's like flipping a switch. You must decide to replace the thoughts of negativity with thoughts of positivity. Decide to change the negative words on your paper to positive ones.

Once you have done this, make an effort to insert these new positive thoughts in your mind. You will begin to notice a positive change taking place in your life. Your family, friends and co-workers will all notice it as well. They may not know what is different about you. But they will know that you are not the same person that you were.

The items which are causing negativity in your life could very well be the news, negative people, replaying conflicts or stressful situations in your mind and the list could go on. Consider eliminating some negative sources if you want your new mental health regimen to be a success.

You can do it. You can and will have a positive attitude, if you simply take the steps outlined above. You do not have to be what you were in the past. You can be different in the future. The choice is yours. I know you will make a positive one.

You can find more on embracing a positive attitude and improving your happiness in my book, 21 Days to Happiness in Day 12 on dealing with worry or Day 21 on optimism. Get your copy of 21 Days to Happiness

5 Great Reasons Smiling Makes Us Successful

Smiling is a simple thing to do, but it can make a huge difference in how we feel and how we're perceived by the people around us. Here are some great reasons to give us a grin.

1. Our smile shows others people that we are likeable and helps us connect.
If a stranger or new coworker approaches you and gains eye contact with you and then treats you to a smile, you'll have a fairly good idea that they are friendly and likeable. Which type of person do you prefer? A person that has a tired or overly serious face; an expression that may reflect their inner thoughts of boredom and worry; or would you prefer someone who is usually smiling and shows that they have an enthusiastic passion for life? Few of us would choose a miserable person to talk to wether it's in our work or personal lives. Lets face it-- we all prefer someone who is going to be positive.  

2. A smile can make people feel happy and is infectious.
When someone smiles at you, even a stranger, you usually smile back.  For that moment you enjoy a flash of positive communication without saying a word. It's hard to feel unhappy, negative or sad while you're smiling. Smiling gives you enthusiasm and drive. It is also habit-forming. When you spend a lot of time in the company of someone who smiles often, you will probably find that smile contagious.  It is hard not to return a smile; most of us do it at a subliminal level without thinking. So don't wait for someone to start the happiness epidemic. Be the first to offer a happy face!

3. A smile makes you look far more attractive and memorable to others.
You don’t see many celebrities or media personalities that are not smiling. If you did, it is fairly certain their popularity would quickly start to drop! Have you noticed you remember smiling people more than those that are not? It is a fact that you are three times more likely to remember a smiling person over the one  wearing a negative or neutral features.

4. The effects of smiling can last for hours.
Whatever problems and challenges you have in your life, smiling temporary puts them on hold.  You can chose to see opportunities and become solution oriented, and while you are in a positive state, you have far more potential and power to advance and improve your life.

5. Most importantly, smiling is good for your health.
When you are smiling, you may find whatever you are doing far easier. It releases stress, worry and tension that you may have built up throughout the day. Long term, developing the smiling habit will be one of the smartest things that you can do to improve your life.

Also, smiling is FREE!
You are never going to run short of smiles and will always have enough to go around.  When you weigh the positive points of smiling, it's a no-brainer decision to do far more smiling and share them with as many people as possible.

Keep smiling!

For more information on quick ways to improve your personal happiness in just a few minutes each day, click the button below, I have a whole chapter on smiling and laughing in my book.

About 21 Days to Happiness