Bill Conrad's Blog, page 38

It’s Easier to be a Fiction Author

In real life, there are many true events that authors have spectacularly captured. Their topics span the range from ordinary to extreme. For a basic example from my own life, my mother’s friend wrote an autobiography. She drove a “roach coach” food truck for 30 years and had many fantastic tidbits from her life. My father has written over 20 books on ceramics.
In works of fiction, authors have written the range from an average world with average people to a completely made up world where traditional biology, physics and accepted social norms don’t apply. As an exercise for the reader of this blog, please read Interviewing Immortality for an example of a great work of fiction. Then, tell all of your friends about your excellent experience. Hey, I’ve got to have a plug once in a while.
I have several ideas for nonfiction books. One of the ideas is about a secret organization that I became aware of and if I wrote about this subject it would defiantly be a best seller. I also want to share my ideas about Engineering, society, and stories from my life. However, I never-ever want to write nonfiction. Other than this blog of course.
Why? It’s difficult to write nonfiction. To create a nonfiction work, the writer must do lots of research. This might involve: travel, interviews, extensive library time, purchases, pictures, bribes, danger, waiting, lying, black male and most of all, a lot of effort. Well, what about an autobiography? The only difference is the amount and type of effort necessary. For example, in your life, there were probably mysteries. Why did your grandmother hate you all those years? Well, how do you find out? Interview relatives, interview her, bribe her with cookies or black male her by saying you’re going to make up all kinds of wild lies in your book unless she tells you the truth.
Once a nonfiction author gathers all their information, (if that’s even possible) the information must be properly presented. Readers require an amusing topic along with a pleasant, exciting or educational experience. The writer lacks the freedom to change the story and the facts. For example, readers would be appalled if I wrote a fun-loving nonfiction book where JFK survived the tragic events in Dallas. What about a conspiracy theory? No, those books don’t have a large market unless there’s solid new evidence.
Alright, I’m not into nonfiction, but other authors certainly are. There is obviously a large market for works of this type. Right? When I was first attempting to break into the publishing world, I learned all about publishing houses and “book representatives.” Publishing houses don’t accept “unrepresented manuscripts.” This means that they require somebody external to read your book and talk to publishers about it behind closed doors. Apparently, publishers cannot afford a room full of people to read every trashy book that lands in their lap. Somewhat understandable. Granted, I want to yell at them, “That’s your job, jerks!”
There are hundreds of book representatives that will read your book. Of course, they want $2,000 just to read it and at least 20% of the profit. However, every book representative web page has written in big bold letters, “NO NONFICTION.” Do not pass go. There is no room in a book representative’s life for that material.
If you look really hard you may find a scant few book representatives that will give a nonfiction work a look. If your book description isn’t amazing, then they want nothing to do with you. For example, curing cancer by eating bacon burgers [with multiple independent studies] Jimmy Hoffa is alive [with pictures and DNA proof] or an interview with Bill Clinton where he reveals a big story [with video proof.] That would be enough to get their attention. That book I mentioned earlier about a roach coach was a best seller in the late 80’s. Today, no book representative would dare touch a subject like that. And trust me, books about ceramics have a very limited market.
Next time you go to the bookstore, look around. An isle of fantasy, 2 isles of romance, an isle of mystery, an isle of action, an isle of suspense, and 2 isles of general fiction. For nonfiction, an isle of history [including biographies], an isle of education, a [sometimes 2] isle of religion and 1 isle for everything else. In this everything else isle, there is a how-to, reference, real estate, autobiographies, general nonfiction and the smallest possible section for math/engineering/science/technology. Why? That’s what sells. The point is that there is a lot of competition for this meager shelf space.
Years ago, bookstores were more balanced. Why are readers suddenly avoiding nonfiction? Reality TV shows certainly dominate the airwaves. I have no good answer. If I were to guess, I would say that most nonfiction subjects have been thoroughly covered. Another guess would be that the Internet is taking over this area. Why read a great book like “The Path Between the Seas” about the Panama Canal when you can click on the Panama Canal Wikipedia link? Or go directly to the Panama Canal website and click on the history tab. This method is very fast and more to the point, it’s free.
What I do know for certain is that I find the thought of attempting a nonfiction project unappealing on many levels. I also know that an unknown nonfiction author has an uphill battle. What’s the future of nonfiction? I think it is a sad fact that this market is going to shrink. There will be a few exceptions such as reference books or books by famous people of the day. Well, what about online publishing? I read an article for this blog and it confirmed that the online nonfiction market is shrinking.
If you’re a nonfiction author, should you be discouraged? I think the correct view is to be disappointed at the present state of that market. Personally, I really enjoy nonfiction works and I wish there were more of them. For me, writing nonfiction simply isn’t my path.

Great Protagonists

When we think of a protagonist, there’s a wide spectrum of examples. The crazy book fan in Stephen King novel Misery, Darth Vader from Star Wars, Joker from Batman, Hans Gruber from Die hard and Agent Smith from the Matrix. In real life, there are plenty of terrible examples. The Axis leaders in WWII, Ivan the Terrible, Saddam Hussain, the North Korean Kim dynasty, Jeffery Dahmer and David Koresh.
As a writer, it’s sometimes necessary to have a protagonist. These characters span the range from slightly annoying to beyond contempt. They are defined by selfish motives, anger, aggression, laziness, a love of inflicting pain and/or a lack of empathy. Often they intentionally don’t think about the consequences of their actions.
To me, that’s not the entire story. A good protagonist must have a clear motive behind their bad intentions. The new character Sam walked over and hit Fred. Why did Sam do this? Should the reader hate Sam? Is Sam actually a hero? Yes, I know that in real life, people are sometimes jerks without any logical reason. However, authors have to think in terms of the reader and readers have a difficult time relating to a blank character. We have to know Sam’s deal; Sam cannot just be evil. Fred’s response to Sam’s actions has to make sense.
In real life, people have minds and very few of us truly embrace evil. We think we’re normal and when we do something bad, we consider our actions to be acceptable behavior. Sometimes we act badly intentionally because it’s exciting or to assure ourselves that we’re in control. During this time, we usually know what we’re doing is wrong, but we overall think of ourselves as being good.
Here’s a lite example. A person on rare occasions drives over the speed limit. They know their driving is dangerous and yet, they still do it. To them, their decision to put others in danger doesn’t feel like a big deal until somebody gets hurt. After the accident, the driver can admit fault or pretend to be innocent. As an outsider judging this driver would consider them to be basically a good person.
Now, let’s take a driver that regularly drives aggressively and is constantly putting others in danger. Over the years of driving, there would be incidents where this bad driver was told by others that they weren’t a good person for driving in this manner. As they continue to drive aggressively, their mind develops a mental defense mechanism. For example, a justification argument, “The rest of my life is great and this is my one escape.” Complete denial, “Everybody drives bad, I’m no exception.” A deflection, “I’m a great driver, its’ everybody else that can’t drive.” An offensive argument, “I’m protecting myself from other drivers.” Or a deferral, “I hate wasting time in traffic.” In all of these arguments, there’s no admittance of responsibility, “I know that I’m a bad driver and someday, somebody is going to get hurt. When this happens it will be my fault.”
Now, let’s take a bad example. A person who physically abuses others to the point where there can be no denial. Their arguments are the same as the bad driver, but the logic is deeply flawed, “The rest of my life is great and this is my one escape.” It would be clear to an outside observer that the person making that statement has mental issues or they are truly evil.
The point is that bad people cannot confront the fact that they themselves are truly bad. This is because evolution has provided humans with a mental defense that allows us to tolerate our choices. Otherwise, people would have guilt trips all day long.
There are many examples of this denial in real life. An interview with a serial killer will be full of logic behind their bad actions. Interviews with the great oppressive leaders are loaded with lofty illogical reasons for their cruelty.
A good protagonist builds upon the foundation of a bad person who has the mindset that they’re just fine. Their abhorrent actions make perfect sense to themselves. From there, the writer applies motivation. A good protagonist has the same motivations as us, but they apply their motivation differently. For example, a good person tries to get ahead with hard work while a bad person gets ahead with shortcuts. A good person uses their mind to solve problems while a bad person steals the teachers answer key. A good person feels good by helping others while a bad person feels superior by hurting others. It should be noted that the protagonist typically doesn’t have low intelligence. It is more likely that a protagonist will have an apparent low intelligence and use their mind in creative ways to compensate which reveals high intelligence. This lazy overcompensation is a core trait.
A protagonist must be relatable to the reader. The reader might have a relative or a coworker that acts just like the protagonist in the story. Well, what about a super-protagonist like Darth Vader or Saddam Hussain? In my humble writings, I try to stay from super/extreme characters because I feel readers are less likely to relate to them in real life.
My closest attempt at an extreme character is in my first book, Interviewing Immortality. My protagonist appears as a dominatrix serial killer. Later, it’s revealed that she is actually not super evil [at least in her mind.] The majority of the book is spent discussing this point. However, she is by definition an extreme character. Her level of violence is far above normal and her attitude contains a thin sliver of compassion. By the end of the book, the reader isn’t fully convinced that she’s a good person. However, the reader clearly understands the motives behind her wickedness.
Does this mean that the reader needs to like the protagonist? Generally, they shouldn’t. The protagonist serves as a foil to the other characters. They give the plot motive and their actions build the other characters.
Can there be a story that focuses on the protagonist? Sure, they can be the main character or whatever the plot requires. The protagonist in my first book was the main character and she was built on a careful foundation. There were very specific reasons for her actions, however, when confronted, she was reluctant to accept responsibility. She would never say, “I did it because I’m mean.” She would say, “The people who I hurt deserved to be hurt.” Why is this motivation angle so important? Why can’t she simply be bad? Simple, readers don’t relate to the logic of a normal bad person. In real life, a criminal commits a robbery. Our only desire is to lock them up. We don’t care about their life’s story and we have no empathy. The only part of the story we enjoy is the chase to locate the criminal.
Well, what about crime dramas? In general, stories of that type focus on the police and not on the criminal. What about Hannibal Lecter? Readers got a front row seat into his insanity. He is clearly a twisted person trying to taunt the police and he is the entire story. To me, that story is an exception. Perhaps I am blinded by the fact that I don’t like those kinds of stories. To me, a great story involves converting the reader to relate to the protagonist. Readers like to be lead down an exciting path. They generally dislike confusion, illogical plots, incomplete characters, bad people [characters we hate so much that we put down the book] and missing information.
Well, what about crazy people or people who are normally mean? My advice is to use characters of this type sparingly. For example, in my fifth book Kim and Gabe Thrive (which is now in the writing phase) my main character is pumping gas when a random protagonist insulted her. She delivers an insult back and drives away without any further interaction.
The protagonist served to show that the main character is strong; specifically as a good example to her daughter as a mother who doesn’t accept insults. If there was a need for further interaction of that protagonist, their background would have been revealed. Otherwise, readers would be confused by the main character. Is she the type of woman who attracts random bad people? Is she living in an area that is full of bad people? It’s best not to leave the reader guessing. Because, in reality, readers go to the gas station all the time without confrontation.
Well, what about a confused protagonist? They are walking along, minding their own business and they do something bad without any apparent motivation. In real life, there are a few people who have this trait. It’s my opinion that readers would have a hard time relating to this kind of character. Well, what about a supernatural story where characters are mean all the time? Say a dystopian reality. For this type of story, the author would have to lay out a different foundation. In crazy world, everybody’s a jerk and now the story makes sense.
What about a super villain like the type that James Bond would encounter? They want to cause an earthquake and are holding the world for ransom. If a reader analyzes a story of this type, there is always a foundation and logic behind the protagonist’s actions. In general, this type of protagonist had a bad childhood and spent their life over compensating. The logic behind their specific motives revolves around a disliked group of people and they use their power to inflict pain on this same group. In this extreme case, the reader doesn’t necessarily relate to the protagonist, but they do respect their logic even if it is vastly flawed.
What about a real life super villain Saddam Hussain or Jeffery Dahmer. Reality is a bit muddy in this area. Are they crazy, power hungry or over compensating? Hard to say, but what is clear is that real life people like that are very different from a James Bond’s protagonist. This difference is in the level of control they have over their lives and the impact of their actions. When James Bond’s protagonist causes an earthquake, the world sends James Bond after him. If Saddam Hussain caused an earthquake, the media would have over the top coverage until the armies of the world put a stop to him.
There are of course protagonist that doesn’t fit the traditional mold. The anti-hero. For example, the character Mad Max is kind of bad and kind of good. Or the super nice person who makes us feel terrible. A dentist who inflicts a lot of pain to make a tooth feel better. Characters like this are kind of in their own class and their motivations are complex and perhaps outside this discussion.
So where does this all lead us? A good protagonist needs to have a clear foundation, a clear motive and should be relatable. The writer needs to have a goal for the protagonist; essentially define what they are going to do for the story. By the end of the story, the reader should have fully understood their motives.
How does that relate to real life? Characters in books are mirrors of our reality. They should stretch the bonds and allow us to reflect. What about me? Am I a protagonist? I know I’ve made mistakes and I like to be in control. If I were to be honest with myself, on the scale of real people, I’m a B+. I have room to grow and I try hard to live a good life that’s not at the expense of others. I also try very hard to treat people with respect and help out where I can. Wait a minute. I do write books that contain stories about bad people. They torture, kill and aren’t productive members of society. Am I in denial of my true self and really a bad person? Denial is the greatest trait of a protagonist. Hmm. Something to think about.

Contractions

In ancient times, people started speaking to each other and one day, somebody shortened up two words. They said, “Its going to be hot today.” Instead of, “It is going to be hot today.” Later on, people began developing letters that represented words and they needed a way to describe these shortened words. To solve this dilemma, the contraction was invented. “It’s going to be hot today.” A whole new world of words opened up. Couldn't, he'll, I'm, let's, that's, what're, won't, you're, we’re. And of course, the most important contraction ever written, Bill’s. Well, it’s important to me.
So many new words for authors and readers alike. Well, from my perspective, there was a major problem. I absolutely hated contractions. My first book [Interviewing Immortality] had none in the first draft. My beta reader (mom) asked me, “Why did you intentionally delete all your contractions?” I had no real answer other than to express my dislike. It was clear that my work needed to be updated. To address this, I found a list of contractions and did a search/replace where it seemed appropriate.
“It’s going to be hot today.” To me, that read like an uneducated person describing the weather and not the words of a polished author. The reality is of course that my everyday speech is full of contractions.
When I write, I intentionally “decompress” contractions into their formal two-word form. That’s simply how my mind works. In subsequent books (which are still in the editing stage) I struggled with contractions. When is it proper to use them? Reading other books didn’t help. Authors seemed to use a shotgun loaded with apostrophes and blasted their books. To me, it looked like bad grammar on some pages [overuse] and a complete contraction avoidance on other pages.
Of course, I read all the rules, style guides and made extensive use of grammar programs. To me, it was a forced process, but after 2 years, I occasionally put a contraction into a sentence without a second thought.
However, I’ve come to understand that there’s a harsh reality to effective writing. Good contraction use is the mark of a good author. It shows the mastery of the English language. Why? A contraction is actually power. It allows characters to go from informal to formal. Bob casually stated, “It’s going to be hot today.” Bob warned the assembled people, “It is going to be hot today.” That’s the power of words. They paint a mental picture of what the character is projecting.
For me, this change is still in the beginning stages. I suspect that it will be at least 5 years before I use contractions without a second thought. Recently, I was reviewing one of my old documents and I could see the complete avoidance of contractions. To me, this now read wrong and there was clear room for improvement. It turns out that contractions are actually my new powerful friends. An interesting revelation.

Writing for Maximum Length

When I finished my first book, it was around 100,000 words. To me, that seemed to be far too short. So, I want back and added a bunch of stuff which ballooned the word count to approximately 140,000 words. My reasoning was that great books should as big as possible and I wanted a massive volume that dominated any shelf.
After my additions, my book went through a long process. In all the reviews and editing, a bunch of areas was trimmed down. The majority of the trimming came from the material I had added. This was a difficult process that took a lot of effort.
One way to look at this trimming is a quality versus quantity argument. Essentially, there were many pages that added no story value. Another viewpoint is to trim away fluff. When Michelangelo was asked how he made the statue of David, he responded, “It was easy. I just chipped away the stone that didn’t look like David.”
Since my first book, I’ve had a lot of time to reflect on my writing philosophy and process. I’ve come to understand that it defiantly was a mistake to write for maximum length. Books are about story and when the story drones on, readers won’t be impressed. Since my first book, I’ve adopted a different approach and I start by creating an outline. From there, I move sections around to set the overall flow.
Is there an ideal book length? At the beginning of the writing process, I did some research and the general length that publishers want is 120,000 words. I try to shoot for this general length at the outline stage. How? I make my outlines around 5 pages. To me, that kind of works out to 120,000 words and I think that’s a good goal. Stay tuned for a later blog where I share my chaotic outline process.
Well, how many acts does a 120,000-word book need to have? I have no idea. I don’t even know how many acts my present works have because I never analyzed my books in that way. Well, how many chapters should there be? A chapter is there to break up the flow. It also allows readers a good point to pause for the evening. Some of my chapters are really long and some are really short. I am trying to be much better at having even chapter lengths. Keeping this in mind at the outline stage helps.
What about the little things that add to the length? Adding descriptions of scenes, characters, emotions, and thoughts. I confess that I’m not that good at general descriptions. After my first draft, I have to go back and enhance the scenes. Is this an effort to make the book longer? I suppose, but that’s not my goal in updating these sections. My goal is to get the visualization out of my head and onto the page.
What sizes of books do I like to read? When I first pop a book into my Calibre reader, it tells me the page count at the bottom. In general, they are ~900 pages. (This is an arbitrary number generated by the reader.) To me, I like stories that are this general length. For this blog, I did a check and that just happens to be right around 110,000 words. However, I really like Ken Follett’s long in-depth stories and they are far longer than 900 pages.
It seems, that this blog has come full circle. What is the best number of words in a book? I suppose the answer is whatever you want it to be. What should the goal of a writer be with regards to length? A good goal is 120,000 words, but that’s a starting point. If the work ends up longer or shorter, that’s just fine. The main takeaway for me is not to think in terms of length with regards to writing a book. Wow, short blog this week.

Female Characters

It’s no secret that I’m a male. This has been my reality from day one and growing up I had the typical male experience. I was fortunate to have a mother, sister and one close female friend, Tara. Probably the female that taught me the most about women was my sister. We had many conversations where she took the time to explain what women were really thinking and more importantly, what mistakes I was making. Thanks, Kristin!
College was a bleak female experience for me and it was only much later that I began dating and eventually found my wife. The women I dated (and my wife) showed me a vastly expanded insight into the complex female mind.
In my books, there were, of course, female characters. To develop them, I drew from my life’s experiences and did my best to give my female characters the most realistic persona possible. However, writing about the opposite sex is difficult. Females are surprisingly perceptive, have complex emotions and a different outlook than my own. It is no surprise that female readers share these traits and they universally dislike when a male author disrespects/misunderstands a female character.
In my case, I take the conservative approach with regards to my female characters. They aren’t ditsy, submissive, promiscuous, or dumb. I picture my female characters as average women who sometimes have to cope with difficult situations.
There was one area that I paid particularly close attention to. I went out of my way not to treat women as weak. Their strength may falter and they can have shortcomings, but they aren’t weak. For example, a female character would never say, “I guess I’m stupid.” “I don’t have the guts to try that.” “No woman could ever do that. It takes a man to…”
To me, portraying weak women isn’t realistic. In real life, sometimes women have failures, problems, and shortcomings. That’s life. However, women have survived through history and often thrive. I hate it when I come across a poorly portrayed female character. To me, stories with weak women just read wrong.
How about a woman saving her child? To me, any woman is capable of that. Just like any man can rise to the occasion. What about a woman who uses kung fu to smack some people around? I would consider a confident person like that [male or female] to be a strong character. In a way, they would be superhuman and have superior skills than the rest of us.
Personally, I don’t like having strong characters or superhuman characters. I cannot relate to an ultra-person. I have never met anybody that can fly into space, bend a big steel bar with their mind, spend a billion dollars, or use kung fu to defeat 10 bad guys. I simply don’t interact with people like that and I’m sure that if I tried, it would reflect poorly in my writings.
I like to develop characters that I could potentially interact with. Granted my characters do have the unimaginable happen to them and a few do know kung fu. But it’s not a core part of their persona and they would never show off their martial arts skills. Their strength comes from rising to the occasion and overcoming their obstacles. In essence, they have an inner strength.
What about a female character that doesn’t grow or doesn’t rise to the occasion? In an upcoming book, I have a female supervisor that’s abusive, insensitive and disliked. However, she is capable of performing her job. When she’s introduced, there’s no obvious reason for her negative behavior. I dislike random blank characters and the reader needs to know their motive. Yes, I know that in life, people can be jerks for no reason. In this particular instance, it’s later revealed that my negative female character is going through a divorce which is causing poor judgment.
What about the female thought process or the female personality? I do my best to draw from my life’s experiences. I try to make female characters act the way that I observe women. I also ask women questions about how they would act in a fictional situation or their thoughts on a subject. My mother had helped a lot with the female perspective; especially in my first book. She pointed out that I was missing several core aspects of my female characters. In one discussion, I asked my mother why the female character made a choice and she answered, “Because she’s a woman and women use what they have to survive.” A very powerful statement and it perfectly captured her essence.
John Steinbeck wrote, “The only women I understand are the ones I invent for my books, and half the time, I don’t understand them, either.” I think that’s a good end to this blog. I like it when my female characters succeed. However, I’m quite aware that I have a lot to learn and I am still asking a lot of questions.

Being an Author Has Altered My Outlook

One day, I began writing my first book. While I had taken the typical English classes, I had no formal training and I didn’t use any writing guides. I simply started on page one without a plan on 3/12/2016. Because this was my first attempt, getting my book published was completely chaotic. Then suddenly, my book was out there. On a side note. HELP!!! My book is titled Interviewing Immortality. Please check it out!
Over time, the writing went from a marathon to a part-time hobby due to getting a full-time job. I adjusted to the transition and in some ways, my writing output increased. I have since noticed that my writing ability and grammar have significantly improved. I am also aware that my speech has improved. Of course, this is to be expected. Authors think about words and use them better. The same can be said with respects to an athlete and their body.
I did notice two side effects that surprised me. My attitude and my perception have both changed. Let’s start with my change in attitude. I consider myself to be conservative, honest and thoughtful. I take time to think about my actions and make careful decisions. I’m not impulsive, careless or light-hearted. Others would probably agree with this conservative assessment. I don’t consider these qualities to be negative and I find that my life is generally pleasant, but not too exciting.
Since I began writing, I have noticed that I’ve become slightly more liberal, a tad more socially responsible and a bit more care free. I fully attribute this changed from my writing efforts. An author has to get into the minds of the characters. Even non-fiction authors have to get into their subject’s heads. These “people” need to think, react, feel and act far differently than an author’s humble life. An author cannot simply duplicate themselves. Let me be completely clear. Nobody wants to read about the adventures of Bill Conrad, Super Engineer! Spoiler: His secret identity is a part-time author. Just yesterday, in an epic display of courage, he FULLY overcame an obsolete resistor. Our hero! Yeah, not best-seller material.
A good story has conflict, personality, and depth. To achieve this, I believe that good authors have to build a bridge and connect with their characters. In order to tap into this alternate realm, a good author has to put their own specific [boring] life aside and think independently. From there, they can mentally build a scene and plop their character into this fictional reality. I have done this so often that I think the results have changed me. They have taken the edge off my conservative personality and the result is a more balanced life.
This was a really unexpected change and I am still comprehending the impact. Granted, it’s a small change, but it is a change that I fully attribute to a different type of thinking. Is this an improvement? Honestly, I’m not sure. Most people resist change. They like their simple lives and I’m no exception. If I were to guess, I suspect being more liberal is a wonderful change. Am I comfortable with this change? Perhaps. It’s defiantly a new chapter. Ha, get it? A book reference.
Growing up, I wondered how the world worked. I asked questions like: How do the tires stay on a car? How does a radio work? Why is the sun so hot? My parents, teachers, and friends would patiently answer my deep technological questions to the best of their abilities.
It wasn’t a surprise that I became an Electrical Engineer. It’s a short leap from a desire to understand technology to developing technology. This occupation requires knowledge, discipline and the will to experiment. I still find technology fascinating, I still have a lot to learn and I still ask many questions.
Notably missing from my early learning equation was people. People cannot be “Engineered.” It is a mistake to think this way and it is a mistake I still continue to make. When I did analyze people, I thought of them as programs. Programs have routines, limits, variables, inputs, and outputs. There is the logic behind their every operation even if the logic seems illogical. People in many ways follow these same patterns.
As I started writing, I began to understand that my characters lacked depth and they didn’t have good descriptions. A character would walk into a room. Something would happen and they would leave. How were they dressed, what did the room look like? All of that was missing. My beta reader (mom) pointed this out and I did a lot of updates to yank these descriptions out of my head.
As the years past, I began to notice a change in my perception. People were no longer faces in the crowd. They were little gems that I could silently mentally describe. That woman. Her hair is “flowing and fresh.” No. I can do better. Her hair is “naturally bouncy and it brightens her face.” Better, but not great. I need a better subject; more edge. That woman over there. Her hair is “spiky crazy blue and it makes her face pop.” Hmm. Getting somewhere. Keep looking.
I really get into describing people and thinking about them. I wanted to know their backstory, their history, their choices and why they were here at this exact moment. Since I don’t’ like striking up conversations with random people, I mentally describe them by filling in the blanks based upon their appearance. What is that woman thinking about at this exact moment? Who are her friends? What would happen if something suddenly happened to that man over there? How would he react?
I also found myself listening more and asking more questions. People had changed from being programs to characters. This was a fascinating new aspect of my personality. I now look forward to going to open areas just to watch people.
At times, it feels a bit creepy to just analyze people from a distance. How would I feel if somebody were mentally describing my nose or how I would react to a monster? I just threw this shirt on. I wasn’t thinking of the bold statement it would make about my personality.
Do I have any emotional attachment to these people? Not at all. To me, this is just a mental exercise and I often forget about these random thoughts. What about my co-workers and friends? Yes, I do study them, but not too closely. People are perceptive and staring at them and making mental notes certainly does get noticed.
When I am describing a character for a book, I draw upon these descriptions. Many times, I will be writing and think about a specific person I recently observed. I believe that this effort makes my descriptions more realistic.
Do I study myself? I have always studied myself. I try to be a better person and I try to treat people better. I do this by observing how others react to my decisions and by learning from my mistakes. Writing has helped in this area as I have a much more focused approach. Now, I know better questions to ask myself.
Overall, it is very clear that writing has changed my personality. How much? I would say 10%. Am I 10% changed or 10 % better? Hard to say because my mind is the one telling me that I changed 10% and I know that my mental outlook is vastly conservative. How about 5% better and 5% probably better. There is that conservative mind kicking in. What will happen in my future? I am guessing that this change is nearly complete. Perhaps there will be a 5% increase, but I suspect the update is tapering off. However, life is unpredictable. You, over there. Watch out, a monster is coming!

My Favorite Books

A few people have asked me what books inspired me to write. I like several different categories and I guess if I were to pick a favorite, it would be non-fiction biographies. I also like science fiction, humor, new fiction and other random works.
To make a list of my favorite books complete, I have to start at the beginning. In Kindergarten, I hated reading and didn’t pick up a book for fun until about the fifth grade. Side note, I don’t expect the readers of this blog to immediately look up these look up these early titles and click “buy it now.” These titles are listed to provide some perspective into my twisted mind.
My first favorite book was The New Adventures of The Mad Scientists Club by Bertrand Brinley. It was about a bunch of kids who had boy-type adventures with loose technology tie-ins. I must have read that book at least 10 times. I still have my beat-up copy and recently, I looked it over. It had a basic writing style with some good story aspects. Perfect for a kid learning how to read.
Later, in junior high, I read the book, Lightning in His Hand, the Life-Story of Nikola Tesla by Inez Hunt. Tesla was an amazing man and I wanted to know everything about my hero. Recently I glanced at a few pages. I was surprised that it did more to glorify the man rather than present the facts. I was also surprised that the copyright date was 1964. The writing was basic, but this story was perfect for a kid who wanted to learn about the world.
There were, of course, the Hardy Boys series as well as a book called, Torpedo Run by Robb White. These were the typical young boy adventure books. I read all the available books of this genre at our local library. I also recall a favorite book that I am struggling to remember the title. It was about 2 boys taking a white-water rafting raft trip down the Grand Canyon. One of the boys was named crowbar. Growing up, I wanted so badly to have an adventure like that. Friends like that as well…
In high school, I enrolled in more advanced English classes and I got into the classics. Jack London! What an author. I loved White Fang and Call of the Wild. Another favorite book was A Bell for Adano by John Hersey. This was the first book that really got me hooked on great writing. A fantastic story with real heart and drama. Then there was Earnest Hemingway, For Whom The Bell Tolls and Old Man And The Sea. What an author! His words had so much depth and perspective.
Notably missing from this new found reading experience was science fiction. At that point in my life, I had no interest. One day, a friend loaned me his copy of Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy. I was hooked. I read everything by Douglas Adams and then began branching out into other science fiction. Also missing from this early list was non-fiction. To me, reading about real events wasn’t interesting. Also, well-written non-fiction books for kids weren’t popular at the time.
Surprisingly, in college, I reverted to reading less. Part of the reason was that I didn’t have the time. It was study or perish. Plus, while I took several English classes, [I have an English minor] the classes didn’t go beyond what I had studied in high school. In fact, I often I re-read the same books. Alright, truth. Sometimes I didn’t re-read them. I still had the same high school write-ups/reports and I tweaked them to fit what my college professors asked for. While writing this blog, I came to an understanding about my college English experience. Based on my fellow students, East Coast schools were much stronger in math, but they were weaker in English. An interesting revelation.
After college, reading held no interest as I had forgotten how much fun it was to just read. I also didn’t like going to libraries because I had to give the books back [my mother was no longer in charge of keeping track of what books were borrowed] and books cost money. I was struggling to pay for the mortgage and buy more junk for my computer. Worse still, after I purchased a book, it could be awful. Bookstores don’t refund your money if you don’t like the book. How rude! Well, this is probably the point in my life where this blog should have ended. Books, yuck!!
Two things happened that changed the course of my reading. Suddenly, there was the internet. Cheap books! Free books!!! Online reviews! Wow! The problem was that reading a long book on a computer screen was difficult. Then came book e-readers. A perfect combination. I began reading A LOT. I was finishing 1-2 books a week. I even set up a stand for my Paperwhite Kindle along with a specially positioned reading lamp so that I could comfortably read in bed. I jumped into every conceivable topic and read for 1-2 hours a night. It was a whole new world of story and knowledge.
The great ones:
One day, I was talking to my friend Dave about books. He was an avid reader and mentioned, The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman. It blew me away. This is probably the best book I have ever read. I instantly dived into all Neil’s books and read every scrap that I could find. Neverwhere, an astounding work. So over-the-top completely creative. What a fantastic author. Neil, in the unlikely event that you’re reading this blog. Please write a sequel to The Graveyard Book!
I had always known that Tom Clancy wrote great spy stories. However, I was under the impression that his books were too complex and therefore too difficult for me to read. After 2 years of hardcore reading, I felt that I was at the reading level where I could attempt one of his works. I downloaded The Hunt for the Red October. What a great book and to my great surprise, it wasn’t difficult to read. I made me wonder where I got the idea that his books were too hard for me to read. liked the premise behind his stories and the great characters. My only complaint was that Tom Clancy jumped around too much; even within paragraphs. That being said, I was eagerly awaiting his next work and suddenly, Tom Clancy passed away. A sad day. The new guy that “writes in the Tom Clancy universe” doesn’t have the gift. Bummer.
In that same vein, I discovered the John Wells spy novel series by Alex Berenson. What a fantastic series of books. In many ways, I like Alex’s books much more than Tom Clancy’s. His stories are personal, believable and have realistic plots. I cannot wait until his next book. On a side note, his books inspired me to write my third book, Cable Ties which is now in editing.
One day, I randomly read The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett. What a fantastic book and all of his other book were simply great. I was hooked and I also cannot wait until his next book.
Another great author, Homer Hickam. I loved the Rocket Boy’s series. What an amazing life he led. A really great storyteller.
The rest of the books I read were kind of one hit wonders. Or at least, I didn’t like the book descriptions of the author’s other works. Here are some highlights in a vaguely alphabetic order:
700 Sundays by Billy Crystal. What an amazing life and such wonderful stories. I truly felt like I was in the same room with Billy as he was personally telling me his life’s story.
Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card. This was a very popular series. I didn’t really like his other books and for me, this was a one hit wonder. A very intense, creative book that gave me a lot to think about.
Guns Up! by Johnnie Clark. A fantastic description of what it was like to be a soldier in Vietnam. Excellent characters and writing. Again, a lot to think about.
One Survivor by Marcus Luttrell. I like good stories about great people. This book was no exception and I enjoyed every word. However, I’m learning that some of the facts were “stretched.” Still a good read.
Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand. A very honest and personal story. Life was really difficult back then and this book is a stark reminder. This was a popular book and it was a great read.
Escape From Camp 14 by Blaine Harden. This book contained an astounding story of survival in a very dark place. North Korea is a stain on our great world and we need to do more to help those people. A painful, but a good read.
Catch Me If You Can by Frank Abagnale. A great storybook about an audacious conman. Such personality in his words and what an amazing life he led.
Cryptonomicon by Neal Stephenson. This book blew me away. It had the most complex amazing elegant story that glued me to every page. Simply astounding. The problem is that Neal took this theme too far in his next books. They were far too complex and I couldn’t untangle the plot enough to enjoy the story. Perhaps if his later works came with a guide I might have gotten into them.
Digital Apollo by D. Mindell. The Apollo program was the genesis of modern embedded computing. This is a fascinating account of this early effort. It touches every aspect of how big projects come together. A really intriguing read that left a big impression on me.
Failure Is Not an Option by Gene Kranz. This is in the same vein as Digital Apollo. The difference is that this book focused on managing the people at NASA.
Mao's Great Famine by Frank Dikotter. This book is a detailed study of the largest failure that has ever occurred. Over 30 million people lost their lives to multiple manmade catastrophes. These people needed a voice and we need to understand the past so that we don’t repeat it. This was a painful, but important read.
The Mosquito Coast by Paul Theroux. This is a really funny book and it made me ask the question: Is he really that smart or really that crazy? Such a great book. The movie was not that great as it failed to capture the book’s crazy spirit.
Sh*t My Dad Says by Justin Halpern. This book made me laugh out loud so many times. What a great account of a person who really doesn’t care about what anybody else thinks.
Smoke Gets in Your Eyes by Caitlin Doughty. The neat thing about books is they can transport you anywhere. I had no idea what goes on in a funeral home. This book brings readers to a fascinating place and is a great story about one person finding herself.
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Repair by Robert Pirsig. This book is a complete enigma. It was simple, yet astounding. Superb characters that did very little. I think that this book should be required reading for everybody, but in order to understand why, you have to read it for yourself. Best title ever!
The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. This book was as inspiring as it was depressing. A fascinating story about a wonderful person. This was the most emotional book I ever read.
A Writer at War by Vasily Grossman (Antony Beevor). I struggled to ask myself if I should include this book. It was an extremely tough read. People can be over the top cruel and the wreckage they leave behind will forever haunt us. There is a paragraph in this book that is a stark reminder of just how much evil can exist on this earth. I think about this paragraph from time to time and I’m choosing not to share this topic now because this blog is supposed to be fun. Books don’t have to be epic to be great. They can be harsh, thought-provoking and interesting. This book gave me a lot to think about in a bad way. I enjoyed it for the same reason I like eating sour candy. Do I recommend you read it? I’m not sure, but it is a story that needed to be told.
And finally, Interviewing Immortality by well… Me. Is this a shameless plug? Perhaps. I have read my story at least 50 times. I wrestled with each word and made many changes. I went to bed thinking of the characters and woke up thinking about the plot. It was a struggle, a joy, a failure, a pain, a success, a chore and an inspiration.
So why am I including my book in this list? After all the blood, sweat and tears that went into creating a book worthy of putting on the market, I still really liked the story. The characters are honest and they go on a true journey. The words have heart and the plot still captures my interest. I really truly want to know what happens next in their lives. Now, here is the real question. Would I like to buy this book at a bookstore? At full price? Without a refund? Is this truly the type of story I would like to read?
I have been thinking of this story for over 20 years and it never got boring. The answer is a definite yes. This is exactly the type of story I would like. I believe the premise is unique and the story stands on its own. I also like the characters. They have their own agenda, flaws, and mysteries. At the same time, they amaze and surprise.
It's funny. Just last night, I was editing the sequel, Finding Immortality and I had to look at Interviewing Immortality to make sure I had a fact correct. I searched for the paragraph and began reading. While I have memorized just about every word, I still wanted to read the next paragraph. The story still intrigues me. No, this isn’t a shameless promotion. I really think that I would enjoy this reading this book if I was somehow transported to a reality where I knew nothing about it. I would be excited to read the sequel and see what other books were in the works. Bill Conrad could be my new favorite author. [Alright truth. Even I have to admit that that last sentence was a shameless plug.] Let’s hope he isn’t a onetime hit author.
There are about 100 other books that I really liked, but didn’t include in this brief blog. So little time. The question is: What does my favorite selection of books say about me? I have a lot of interests. That’s clear. I also have specific tastes when it comes to books. For example, I would not read a book just to read. It needs to be something specific to attract my attention. A lot of my life is like that. No gray areas. I suppose the characters that I write about take on that trait as well. That’s probably why I like reading about them.

Writing Has Unexpectedly Become Difficult

My fourth book [Finding Immortality] simply flowed. I had a great outline and the story wrote itself. When it was done, I was really happy with the result and I began writing my fifth book [Kim and Gabe Thrive] with high hopes. The plot was solid and the characters were well established. I was positive that writing this book was going to be easy, fun, fast, and the result would be my best work.
The first 60% of the story came right out and then I got to the best part. This was the big juicy section where I described how the universe worked. I had been mentally preparing to write this part for over a year. I got right into it and after two pages… Blah. Blah? What was blah?! Why had the words stopped? Well, I was going to have none of that and to fix this situation… Well, I punted. Normally I would start writing where I had last stopped until I became “word blind” and needed a change. This change would be self-editing earlier sections of the book. The next day, I began my writing by self-editing and then occasionally writing one new paragraph. My output went from a chapter a week to half a chapter a month. It was terrible.
My mental outlook became so bad that just to get into the mood of writing, I would start by self-editing my fourth book and then if there was time, I did some self-editing my fifth. About once a week, I got frustrated and forced myself to write a paragraph. Honestly, those paragraphs weren’t great. I had to go over them several times just so they would make sense. It was very clear that I had lost my focus. To make matters worse, the writing was no longer a fun and I considered stopping altogether.
Writers call this “writer's block.” It means that for some reason, they cannot continue writing. Normally it’s because they haven’t figured out the next part of the story or there is some logic/plot/character issue that’s preventing the story from working. In my case, I knew exactly what I wanted to write about, how I wanted to write it and what it should read like. My problem was that I simply didn’t want to write. I took some time to think about my situation. I understood that when I would look at the last paragraph, there was a definite hesitation to begin typing. I categorized these feelings as anger [stubbornness] and fear.
What was the source of these negative emotions? I wasn’t sure. Something new was occurring and I needed to tackle this problem. What there an “Engineering” approach to solving this dilemma? A big technical analysis? Or would I take the soft approach by talking to my friends and family? Search the internet for solutions? Writers have clearly encountered this issue in the past. My decision was to avoid the issue.
In the meantime, I was looking for new blog topics and decided to vet out some ideas. The intent wasn’t to solve the issue but simply to write a fun blog topic. After some deep thought into writing this very paragraph, I suspected that the core of the problem was that my first book was encountering difficulties in its attempt to gain readers. I know that good marketing is tough and I’m clearly not a natural salesman. Perhaps I was secretly blocking myself from completing this fifth book to prevent another bad marketing situation from occurring? Seems logical.
Was I tired of the characters in my fifth book? Not really. As I think about the characters, my only negative emotion could be described as jealousy. They’re young and get to have exciting lives. Why can’t my life be like that? No, that wasn’t the source of the problem. A fear of success? Or failure? I’ve come to grips with the reality that writing is a hobby. I will never be Tom Clancy and I’m fine with that tragic circumstance. My marketing goal is to break even. Still got to make that happen.
Am I tired of writing? Again, no. I like writing and self-editing. At this very moment, writing this blog is an enjoyable experience. I just thought of a new blog topic. Look forward to reading in 11 weeks, “Working With An Editor.” Ten other topics to tackle first. Do I just need to man up and write? No, that leads to forced dialog, incomplete plots, errors and overall bad writing.
As I was writing this blog, I came up with a plan. I was going to jump right into writing. When I got stuck, I would force myself to write down my thoughts. Why the frustration? How do I feel? How good would it feel to continue? How should I be feeling? What should I be doing? Then, I would write up everything on this blog the next day. This would allow me to analyze my thoughts and look for patterns. There’s that Engineering mind again. Collect data, organize and analyze. “The conclusion will rise above the noise.” Now, if I could put it all into Microsoft Excel…
In that lofty spirit, I jumped right to the last paragraph. Next to my computer was a notepad with a blank page. Immediately, I felt the wall. I simply didn’t want to write anything new. I got up to get a Diet Coke. I sat back down and was frustrated with my fears. I looked at the pad and I certainly didn’t want to write down anything. I thought, “It’s either write the book or write your feelings. Your choice!” I forced myself to write a new paragraph and then another. The last thing I wanted to do was to have the world know why I couldn’t continue writing. I continued writing and “had” to get up 4 times for a snack. I was angry, frustrated and the words weren’t that great.
An hour later, the words had begun to flow and I actually had real writer's block. I knew the next part of the story, but I didn’t know how to make the leap. This had happened a few times in the past and I did what I normally did to get around the issue. I stared at a blank wall, worked through the possible solutions and got back to writing. Three hours later, I looked at the clock. 11:30 PM. Half an hour past bedtime. I had powered through 1.5 chapters and I enjoyed the experience.
Amazing? Unexpected? Yes, it was. My fear about writing down what was going on in my head shamed me back into writing. That has never happened before. Thank you all three blog readers! The human mind is indeed strange. I’m not sure what the real issue was. I think I settled into a pattern and it took something epic to break me out of my funk. Perhaps, the lack of success built up a kind of roadblock. The crazy thing is that this blog broke me out. Was it logical or was it inspirational? Or was this a sign of a truly great writer? Let’s go with the last one! That’s got to be it.
Over the last 4 days, I haven’t had any trouble writing. It’s again an enjoyable process to get my characters into deep trouble and help them out. I still have that blank notepad and if there is ever an issue, I am going to write it all down. I hope there isn’t a future blog titled, “Writing Has Unexpectedly Become Difficult Again.”

Creative Writing in College

In my third year of college, I took a creative writing class. There wasn’t a whole lot of structure and basically, the professor encouraged us to come up with short stories. I had written some minor works in the past and I even posted a few jokes on Usenet. Want to read one?
http://trillian.mit.edu/~jc/;-)/Bridg...
For me, this creative writing class was a big change because I was encouraged to write larger story arcs and this effort encouraged to push my creative limits. To help with this, the professor offered topic guidelines and tips for crafting great stories.
Not knowing what else to write about, I took characters (friends and family) directly from my life and put them into the most far-fetched situations that I could come up with. Because of a recent blog post, I decided to dig up these college creative writing stories from an old hard drive directory. At first, I was shocked. My grammar was atrocious and my spelling was worse. It was so bad that I wondered if somehow translating from the old DOS program Office Writer to Microsoft Office 3.0 to Microsoft Office 2016 had somehow dramatically affected my words. Last weekend, I happened to be in the attic and opened a box of my old college stuff. I had saved one of the stories and it had all the comments from the professor. I had no idea how bad my grasp of the English language used to be.
After I got over my shock, I was able to take an unbiased look at the content. What I had come up with was interesting and I had a real knack for dialog. I was surprised because I thought that writing good dialog was a recent occurrence. I also had a good flow and a real understanding of plot structure. I had talent back then? Who knew?
The story that I want to concentrate on for this blog is called “A Trip.” In high school, I would go bike riding into the canyon near our house. It was a great time in my life and I had a lot of fun. On one of those trips, I thought I was being chased and I hid for 10 minutes in a drainage pipe. Some men drove up and illegally dumped their garbage. This was a frightening experience because I couldn’t see what was going on and from the noise, they were making, I thought they were looking for me.
From that basic beginning, I whirled off an imaginative tale of a bike riding boy. I read the story twice and it brought me back to that simple time. I remember that joyful kid who had a vivid imagination and a bright future. I also remember how this kid completely understood how the world worked. He was going to bend it into submission with his great ideas. I suppose that all kids are convinced that “their generation will make it right.” [Lyric from Land Of Confusion by Genesis]
I read the story a third time and I could see my present personality peeking out. I could also see that I used to have a real negative streak. In college, I was becoming aware that this personality trait was getting out of hand and my friends told me the same thing. To address this negative streak, I forced myself to have a positive outlook. In the story, the character Randy clearly has that negative streak. He assumes that people will act a certain way and he looks down upon them even when they’re nice. If something bad happens, the world is punishing him. Everything is stupid and everyone’s a jerk. Except for Randy, he’s perfect. At the time, I thought this was cool to act and Randy was my alter ego. I remember those days and I’m really glad that I put in the personal effort to change. There’s no doubt that if I hadn’t put in this effort, I would have grown up a miserable person. What kind of woman would put up with a man like that? Reading this story made me proud of what I accomplished. It’s also proof that a person can change their life if they really want to.
To save the world, Randy uses his imagination and this is the magic cure for everything. That Engineering mind. There’s always a solution, just analyze the logic. Some things never change. It occurs to me that Randy’s intelligence could be considered a blessing or a curse. I have known many people who were too smart for themselves. The term for these people is “smart slacker.” At times, I still recognize this trait and when it peeks out, it makes me ashamed. In these circumstances, I should be acting nicer and trying harder.
While the story needed major grammar and spelling fixes, it was a perfectly good short story arc that could have occurred. Well, I think it could have occurred. Taking a high-level look at this story, it made me proud of my early writing accomplishments. The words were emotional and it was clear that I drew from my best experiences. That’s what creative writing is all about.
Will there be any future creative writing for me? One day, I might write a book full of short stories. I have an interesting idea about Amelia Earhart and time travel. But for now, blogging and writing full fiction books are my only creative outlet. Writing this blog is bringing back fond memories of those times. Something to think about.

Read the story here:
http://interviewingimmortality.com/at...

How Writing Has Affected My Family Life

One day, I told my wife that I wanted to write a book. At the time, I was unemployed [I was actually part-time employed] and generally not doing a lot with my day. My wife replied, “It will be fun to see what you come up with.” That evening, I began writing my first book.
In retrospect, my family considered me to be a writer from that point forward. For them, not much had changed. My daughter went to school, my wife worked and I sat in front of my computer. If I hadn’t decided to write, I still would have been in front of my computer researching/writing up business ideas/plans or perhaps playing video games. Makes me wonder if I could have created a business. The choices we make…
Occasionally, I would ask my wife questions about medicine or about a woman’s perspective. My daughter would ask what I was doing and I would cheerfully describe what I was writing about. However, my wife and daughter didn’t probe too deeply and overall, they took a hands-off approach. Writing is an introvert/personal process anyhow.
What I didn’t do was draw story content from my own life. This meant taking great care to make sure that my plots weren’t thinly veiled versions of me and my family members. There were a few stories and personality traits that I borrowed, but I believe that a book should stand on its own. Otherwise, my books would be “The Conrad Adventure Series.” Boring! Granted, in my second book, the main character was an Engineer… In my defense, it was a plot element. A very weak defense.
The months passed and my efforts paid off with my first book. My family was excited by my accomplishment and there was a lot of buzz in our household. A touching moment occurred when my daughter read the dedication and realized that she was important enough in my life to be mentioned. Of course, she was!
The buzz soon faded and our household returned to normal. I still sit at the computer while silently writing. I still occasionally ask my wife about medicine and she recently told me how a unitary catheter works. Ouch! My daughter ignores me when I am writing while she watches YouTube. Now, she has a new distraction in the form of a bird named Tiki. Its tweeting is becoming an issue. On a side note, the bird likes classical music. Strange. Or a new plot device?
Now, don’t get me wrong. My family is my first priority and if there is an event, chore or problem, they come first. I’m not one of those obsessed people where writing is their only outlet. My den door is open (unless my daughter’s bird is incessantly yapping) and they are welcome to come in at any time. Writing is something I do because it’s fun.
Overall, writing consumes time that I probably should be spending with my family. To them, this is my hobby. Just as my wife likes baseball and my daughter likes YouTube. I could just as easily spend the same time playing video games. Or I could start a new hobby like amateur radio or golf. Writing is probably cheaper. Granted, I have spent a lot on editing/self-publishing.
The overall answer to this deep question is that writing takes up time. My wife and daughter certainly don’t introduce me as “Bill the author” and I would never put that title on a business card. If my next book makes some marketing inroads, then there might be some changes, but I doubt it. To me, this revelation comes as a surprise. I would have expected that writing fiction would’ve dramatically affected my life because it was such a change from Engineering. Reality turned out to be different.

Side note: My twentieth blog! Yay!!!