Bill Conrad's Blog - Posts Tagged "fame"
Parker
I have no desire to become famous, and the thought of accepting a significant award or staring in a movie seems absurd. Why? Attaining fame is not part of my personality. But, of course, more than enough people desire limelight, and ordinary people are happy to pay money to see famous actors.
However, there have been a few times where I experienced a slight amount of fame, and I wanted to explore one such moment. In college, we had a weekly paper that occasionally contained good content. One column was an opinion section written by an anonymous author. The year I started college, a guy who called himself Frodo dribbled out a weekly mess. In case you do not know, Frodo was the lead character from the book Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien. Each week, Frodo endlessly complained about random topics. He had a poor writing style and never offered a solution.
In my second year of college, Frodo either graduated or stopped writing. A new anonymous writer called himself Parker took over this weekly column. His writing was timid (but well written), and most subjects focused on college life. Parker’s words got more traction than Frodo, but the stain of Frodo remained.
One day, my friend (I have since forgotten his name) asked if I had read the recent Parker. I answered no, and he asked why. We had a long discussion about anonymous authors, pen names, and school topics. Spoiler alert! It turns out my friend was Parker. Wow, big reveal!
Parker discussed my anonymous author opinions, pen names, and school topics in his next column. To my surprise, there were many reactions from the students. Suddenly, I became a (very) minor celebrity, and the (limited) fame surprised me. I could not believe that my thoughts were important to so many (a few) people.
What is it like to be significant enough to write about? I found the experience to be humbling. Wow, somebody I never met cares about my opinions. However, as the comments piled on, I began disliking the fame. It turns out that not everybody agreed with my views. Fame has a dark side? Who knew?
Are my blogs an attempt at fame? Yes, and no. My goal is to “get the word out about my books.” I do not desire to change the world, get famous or reap loads of cash. Breaking even would be nice. However, I would like it if my blogs encouraged discussion or educated a few readers. Yet, suddenly, having one of my blogs spike in popularity would probably make me want to hide under a large rock. I suppose Parker presented me with an exciting learning experience. “This is what fame is like.”
Should I thank Parker for introducing me to fame? “Thanks for caring about my opinion back in 1993.” And thank you, my four blog readers, for also caring!
However, there have been a few times where I experienced a slight amount of fame, and I wanted to explore one such moment. In college, we had a weekly paper that occasionally contained good content. One column was an opinion section written by an anonymous author. The year I started college, a guy who called himself Frodo dribbled out a weekly mess. In case you do not know, Frodo was the lead character from the book Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien. Each week, Frodo endlessly complained about random topics. He had a poor writing style and never offered a solution.
In my second year of college, Frodo either graduated or stopped writing. A new anonymous writer called himself Parker took over this weekly column. His writing was timid (but well written), and most subjects focused on college life. Parker’s words got more traction than Frodo, but the stain of Frodo remained.
One day, my friend (I have since forgotten his name) asked if I had read the recent Parker. I answered no, and he asked why. We had a long discussion about anonymous authors, pen names, and school topics. Spoiler alert! It turns out my friend was Parker. Wow, big reveal!
Parker discussed my anonymous author opinions, pen names, and school topics in his next column. To my surprise, there were many reactions from the students. Suddenly, I became a (very) minor celebrity, and the (limited) fame surprised me. I could not believe that my thoughts were important to so many (a few) people.
What is it like to be significant enough to write about? I found the experience to be humbling. Wow, somebody I never met cares about my opinions. However, as the comments piled on, I began disliking the fame. It turns out that not everybody agreed with my views. Fame has a dark side? Who knew?
Are my blogs an attempt at fame? Yes, and no. My goal is to “get the word out about my books.” I do not desire to change the world, get famous or reap loads of cash. Breaking even would be nice. However, I would like it if my blogs encouraged discussion or educated a few readers. Yet, suddenly, having one of my blogs spike in popularity would probably make me want to hide under a large rock. I suppose Parker presented me with an exciting learning experience. “This is what fame is like.”
Should I thank Parker for introducing me to fame? “Thanks for caring about my opinion back in 1993.” And thank you, my four blog readers, for also caring!
Who’s Who
The first edition of Who’s Who got published in 1849. Then a compact, 250-page volume (less than one-tenth of the size of the 2017 edition) comprised an almanac followed by thirty-five lists of military ranks and appointments and the names of those holding them.
Fast forward to the epic ‘20-80s. Who’s Who had become the “go to” reference (yellow-pages telephone book) of important people. Author? Scientist? Artist? There was no choice. You had to be listed in the Who’s Who. Why? An entry made a normal person into a “celebrated” person, and the publication stood as proof. To cement your standing, you would update the profile annually with your latest accomplishments, projects, and certifications.
Of course, at the beginning of the book, there was a fee and all kinds of expensive options, such as photographs, graphics, and premiere placement. Plus, you needed a copy of this “industry standard” to see yourself. And to do “research” on the other people in your given field (see how your profile compares to others). My father was a talented ceramics author in the ’70-80s and paid dearly to have his entry in the Who’s Who.
Well, what happened? The myth was that everybody (of importance) would have a copy and use it to look up critical facts about the industry leaders. However, this was a fantasy, and people eventually realized the “reference” was useless. Let’s use my father as an example. Would a ceramic artist buy this expensive reference book, look up my father’s name and then buy his books? That was certainly the sales pitch.
No, they would go to the library. And what would people do at the library? They would research the available books and either check them out, request them, or go to a bookstore.
There is a more fundamental problem. Who cares?! The Who’s Who of ceramics lists all the ceramic artists, sculptors, teachers, authors, and amateurs. Dredging through the alphabetical list takes a long time to gain limited knowledge.
And what about this “knowledge?” Were the entries fact-checked? Of course not! The entries only built ego.
By the late ‘80s, the public had caught on, and these books were no longer popular. In America, the major publishers of these directories were Vanity and Uniondale, who ceased publishing Who’s Who in 2017.
An upcoming author like myself does not need to waste money on such a useless publication. Yet, I see a few hands raised among my blog readers. Why are you writing about this? The company is gone. Right?
When I graduated high school in 1988, every student got onto a mailing list (the school districts got a kickback for providing a list of their graduates). One of these companies published the “Who’s Who of the class of 1988.” Wow, what an honor. For only $$$, I could be in Who’s Who?! Then everybody would know me! Think of the doors that would open. At least, that is what the try-fold brochure claimed.
Of course, I did not pay for an entry because I asked my father about it. Side note. I knew kids that paid for an entry. But wait, there’s more! When I graduated from college, another letter arrived. Yes, I could be in the exclusive club of people in the Who’s Who of Electrical Engineers graduating in 1993!
That was long ago, and I still see a few raised hands. Why now? Three months ago, my daughter took her pre-SAT test, and they sold her name to EVERYONE. Did you know she was pre-qualified to submit her (paid) application to every university? Did you know they nominated her for an AWARD?! It’s true. She can claim her “Congress of Future Medical Leaders Award of Excellence.” Wow, I am so proud and see my blog readers clapping. But I cannot take all the credit; my daughter can open mail too.
To claim the award, she (accompanied by an adult) will fly to Miami, stay at the Marriot hotel, and pay for the banquet, where she will receive her award. Plus, a transaction and booking fee. My daughter immediately saw through the ruse, but she put the award up on the refrigerator as a joke.
But then, it happened. My daughter got another letter. Guess who? That’s right; she can be in the “Who’s Who of the class of 2024!” What an honor.
This got me thinking about why I write. I do not write for fame or fortune. I write to share my stories. However, some people write for fame. But what if your books are less than popular? You can pay for fame, and Who’s Who is a path to glory. “Bill Conrad, a celebrated author featured in Who’s Who.”
I suppose it is cool to see yourself in print, and I recall looking myself up in the phone book. “Everybody else can look up my name and get my phone number. How cool!” Now, it is super easy to “Google” yourself. Perhaps my blog readers could Google my books and buy one or two? Maybe then I can have enough money to pay for my daughter to be in the Who’s Who of the class of 2024!
You’re the best! -Bill
March 23, 2023
Fast forward to the epic ‘20-80s. Who’s Who had become the “go to” reference (yellow-pages telephone book) of important people. Author? Scientist? Artist? There was no choice. You had to be listed in the Who’s Who. Why? An entry made a normal person into a “celebrated” person, and the publication stood as proof. To cement your standing, you would update the profile annually with your latest accomplishments, projects, and certifications.
Of course, at the beginning of the book, there was a fee and all kinds of expensive options, such as photographs, graphics, and premiere placement. Plus, you needed a copy of this “industry standard” to see yourself. And to do “research” on the other people in your given field (see how your profile compares to others). My father was a talented ceramics author in the ’70-80s and paid dearly to have his entry in the Who’s Who.
Well, what happened? The myth was that everybody (of importance) would have a copy and use it to look up critical facts about the industry leaders. However, this was a fantasy, and people eventually realized the “reference” was useless. Let’s use my father as an example. Would a ceramic artist buy this expensive reference book, look up my father’s name and then buy his books? That was certainly the sales pitch.
No, they would go to the library. And what would people do at the library? They would research the available books and either check them out, request them, or go to a bookstore.
There is a more fundamental problem. Who cares?! The Who’s Who of ceramics lists all the ceramic artists, sculptors, teachers, authors, and amateurs. Dredging through the alphabetical list takes a long time to gain limited knowledge.
And what about this “knowledge?” Were the entries fact-checked? Of course not! The entries only built ego.
By the late ‘80s, the public had caught on, and these books were no longer popular. In America, the major publishers of these directories were Vanity and Uniondale, who ceased publishing Who’s Who in 2017.
An upcoming author like myself does not need to waste money on such a useless publication. Yet, I see a few hands raised among my blog readers. Why are you writing about this? The company is gone. Right?
When I graduated high school in 1988, every student got onto a mailing list (the school districts got a kickback for providing a list of their graduates). One of these companies published the “Who’s Who of the class of 1988.” Wow, what an honor. For only $$$, I could be in Who’s Who?! Then everybody would know me! Think of the doors that would open. At least, that is what the try-fold brochure claimed.
Of course, I did not pay for an entry because I asked my father about it. Side note. I knew kids that paid for an entry. But wait, there’s more! When I graduated from college, another letter arrived. Yes, I could be in the exclusive club of people in the Who’s Who of Electrical Engineers graduating in 1993!
That was long ago, and I still see a few raised hands. Why now? Three months ago, my daughter took her pre-SAT test, and they sold her name to EVERYONE. Did you know she was pre-qualified to submit her (paid) application to every university? Did you know they nominated her for an AWARD?! It’s true. She can claim her “Congress of Future Medical Leaders Award of Excellence.” Wow, I am so proud and see my blog readers clapping. But I cannot take all the credit; my daughter can open mail too.
To claim the award, she (accompanied by an adult) will fly to Miami, stay at the Marriot hotel, and pay for the banquet, where she will receive her award. Plus, a transaction and booking fee. My daughter immediately saw through the ruse, but she put the award up on the refrigerator as a joke.
But then, it happened. My daughter got another letter. Guess who? That’s right; she can be in the “Who’s Who of the class of 2024!” What an honor.
This got me thinking about why I write. I do not write for fame or fortune. I write to share my stories. However, some people write for fame. But what if your books are less than popular? You can pay for fame, and Who’s Who is a path to glory. “Bill Conrad, a celebrated author featured in Who’s Who.”
I suppose it is cool to see yourself in print, and I recall looking myself up in the phone book. “Everybody else can look up my name and get my phone number. How cool!” Now, it is super easy to “Google” yourself. Perhaps my blog readers could Google my books and buy one or two? Maybe then I can have enough money to pay for my daughter to be in the Who’s Who of the class of 2024!
You’re the best! -Bill
March 23, 2023
We’re Friends. Right?
YouTube videos have become a large part of our entertainment. Because there are so many options, viewers can choose specific content that addresses their entertainment needs. This choice might include tabby cats, Southern cooking, Korean fashion, sewing machine upgrades, landscape painting, or the best methods of growing carrots.
If you were to look at my subscribed channels, you would learn that I follow the Ukraine war, repair things, watch ‘80’s music videos, and like old computers. This selection should not surprise those who know me, and I am sure the readers of this sentence also have their YouTube interests.
One of my favorite content creators (I hate the word influencers) is Marty T:
https://www.youtube.com/@MartyT
He repairs tractors and does other minor projects. Side note: I do not know why I enjoy tractor repair videos. My lawn is so tiny that a single tractor would cover everything. Back to the good stuff. I enjoy watching Marty’s content. I even emailed him a few times with questions. He was nice enough to email me back. Very cool.
Most content creators try to be neutral, but eventually, their beliefs become apparent. Occasionally, Marty talks about his family, politics, friends, and life experiences. Over time, I came to understand the real person. So, even though the video knowledge transfer goes one way, this inside knowledge makes us friends. Right?
No, that is not the case at all. Why? Because Marty never invited me into his life. Well, this is not a recent problem. People often imagine they are friends with their favorite celebrity, which has happened since the word celebrity got invented. However, being on YouTube is different.
On the professional film set, directors, assistants, and other crew are there to craft the final product, but Marty only has a video camera and himself. As a result, the creative process and produced video are vastly different. For example, the lead character in a film would have a set kitchen while Marty uses his private house. So, viewers get to see Marty’s actual kitchen. And this is my point. “Since he is showing me his kitchen, he is letting me into his life. Yay, we’re friends.”
I admit that while watching, I imagine myself next to Marty, helping him fix a tractor. While this warm feeling is a fantasy, it has become a problem for content creators. Many viewers have fallen under the YouTube spell and believe they truly are friends. They share in victories and painful failures.
On a creepy side, I have read comments that get way too personal. Like commenting on Marty’s children. Not cool. Does this mean that Marty has stalkers or cyber-stalkers? Yes, but this is the reality of being a YouTube creator and something they must accept.
Well, what about me? My books have not become widespread yet, but they contain my beliefs, values, and personal details. Like Marty, I try to remain neutral and not show too much of my personal life, but I have not fully succeeded. Why? I like being open. “The strangest thing happened today…”
Is this bad? After all, many content creators, authors, and celebrities aim to get anonymous people to consider them friends. “This is how you get followers and make money.” Good for them, but not good for me or my YouTube pal Marty. Did I call him a pal? Oops.
Like Marty, I knew the path I was taking before I published. Have there been issues? I receive a modest amount of spam directed at me because I am an author, but that has been my only problem. What about the future? I am trying to become more popular, and this will lead to uncomfortable encounters. “Hey, Bill. You have a daughter. Is she single?” Ultra creepy!!!
What do I do? I need to do a better job censoring my work. However, I have been planting celebrity seeds, and somebody will eventually consider themselves my friend. What if this “friend” reaches out to me or rings my doorbell? Honestly, that concept is frightening, and I do not have a plan for that day.
You’re the best -Bill
June 28, 2023
Hey book lovers, I published four. Please check them out:
Interviewing Immortality. A dramatic first-person psychological thriller that weaves a tale of intrigue, suspense, and self-confrontation.
Pushed to the Edge of Survival. A drama, romance, and science fiction story about two unlikely people surviving a shipwreck and living with the consequences.
Cable Ties. A slow-burn political thriller that reflects the realities of modern intelligence, law enforcement, department cooperation, and international politics.
Saving Immortality. Continuing in the first-person psychological thriller genre, James Kimble searches for his former captor to answer his life’s questions.
These books are available in soft-cover on Amazon and eBook format everywhere.
If you were to look at my subscribed channels, you would learn that I follow the Ukraine war, repair things, watch ‘80’s music videos, and like old computers. This selection should not surprise those who know me, and I am sure the readers of this sentence also have their YouTube interests.
One of my favorite content creators (I hate the word influencers) is Marty T:
https://www.youtube.com/@MartyT
He repairs tractors and does other minor projects. Side note: I do not know why I enjoy tractor repair videos. My lawn is so tiny that a single tractor would cover everything. Back to the good stuff. I enjoy watching Marty’s content. I even emailed him a few times with questions. He was nice enough to email me back. Very cool.
Most content creators try to be neutral, but eventually, their beliefs become apparent. Occasionally, Marty talks about his family, politics, friends, and life experiences. Over time, I came to understand the real person. So, even though the video knowledge transfer goes one way, this inside knowledge makes us friends. Right?
No, that is not the case at all. Why? Because Marty never invited me into his life. Well, this is not a recent problem. People often imagine they are friends with their favorite celebrity, which has happened since the word celebrity got invented. However, being on YouTube is different.
On the professional film set, directors, assistants, and other crew are there to craft the final product, but Marty only has a video camera and himself. As a result, the creative process and produced video are vastly different. For example, the lead character in a film would have a set kitchen while Marty uses his private house. So, viewers get to see Marty’s actual kitchen. And this is my point. “Since he is showing me his kitchen, he is letting me into his life. Yay, we’re friends.”
I admit that while watching, I imagine myself next to Marty, helping him fix a tractor. While this warm feeling is a fantasy, it has become a problem for content creators. Many viewers have fallen under the YouTube spell and believe they truly are friends. They share in victories and painful failures.
On a creepy side, I have read comments that get way too personal. Like commenting on Marty’s children. Not cool. Does this mean that Marty has stalkers or cyber-stalkers? Yes, but this is the reality of being a YouTube creator and something they must accept.
Well, what about me? My books have not become widespread yet, but they contain my beliefs, values, and personal details. Like Marty, I try to remain neutral and not show too much of my personal life, but I have not fully succeeded. Why? I like being open. “The strangest thing happened today…”
Is this bad? After all, many content creators, authors, and celebrities aim to get anonymous people to consider them friends. “This is how you get followers and make money.” Good for them, but not good for me or my YouTube pal Marty. Did I call him a pal? Oops.
Like Marty, I knew the path I was taking before I published. Have there been issues? I receive a modest amount of spam directed at me because I am an author, but that has been my only problem. What about the future? I am trying to become more popular, and this will lead to uncomfortable encounters. “Hey, Bill. You have a daughter. Is she single?” Ultra creepy!!!
What do I do? I need to do a better job censoring my work. However, I have been planting celebrity seeds, and somebody will eventually consider themselves my friend. What if this “friend” reaches out to me or rings my doorbell? Honestly, that concept is frightening, and I do not have a plan for that day.
You’re the best -Bill
June 28, 2023
Hey book lovers, I published four. Please check them out:
Interviewing Immortality. A dramatic first-person psychological thriller that weaves a tale of intrigue, suspense, and self-confrontation.
Pushed to the Edge of Survival. A drama, romance, and science fiction story about two unlikely people surviving a shipwreck and living with the consequences.
Cable Ties. A slow-burn political thriller that reflects the realities of modern intelligence, law enforcement, department cooperation, and international politics.
Saving Immortality. Continuing in the first-person psychological thriller genre, James Kimble searches for his former captor to answer his life’s questions.
These books are available in soft-cover on Amazon and eBook format everywhere.
Desiring Fame
If you have read my prior articles, you know I have a bonkers mind, and I enjoy pondering the obscure junk rattling around in my head. This translates to writing articles instead of going to therapy. Well, today is no exception. About 30 years ago, I was watching a human-interest story on the local San Diego news. A family was riding through town on a six-passenger bicycle built by their father.
First, the news crew interviewed the group, then the individuals. This included backstory and fun tales from their trip. Then, they had footage of them driving around town. Everybody was bubbly and seemed perfect for this kind of story. Why were they taking their trip? To see American cities on a bike.
One segment focused on the fourteen-year-old daughter, who used a pay phone to call the local newspaper. Viewers listened to half of the conversation as she told them what the family was doing and their schedule. Then she asked the newspaper to interview them. Later, the mother explained that they were collecting copies of newspaper articles and local news videos “for their scrapbook.”
Why does the news like this kind of story? People do different things, and viewers find unusual topics interesting. Like last night. The local San Diego news was about a couple that turned their backyard into an Indonesian restaurant. They serve one meal a day, costing $220 per person.
https://www.warungrierie.com/
Why did this memory stand out? It was the daughter on the phone. I needed to know why she desperately wanted attention. Take me. I ride my bike once a week to clear out the crazy thoughts and stay healthy. You do not see me calling the local paper to beg for an interview.
And there was another thing. The big bicycle. Umm. They are not wearing backpacks, and the bicycles do not have storage areas. So how do they change clothes? How would they make a video copy of the local news? (Back then, a bulky VCR would be required.) Hmm. Something was not right.
It only took 30 years of thinking to figure it out. They were writing a book. This was not a grand family biking adventure; instead, it was a publicity stunt. They had a car following that was full of junk, including a VCR.
And the daughter was in on the scheme. But why her? Who among them had the best chance of convincing newspaper reporters to interview them? I bet that in other cities, they tried the father, mother, and other kids. The daughter was the best at it. Yet, there was more to it. This was her moment in the spotlight.
What was driving her so hard? She needed to succeed so they would have enough material for the book. Otherwise, they would have to keep peddling around, begging for interviews.
Yet, there was more. She was doing her best to look like she was having a good time, confident about her abilities, knowledgeable about the subject, and pressuring her pitch. That is a lot for a fourteen-year-old mind.
A big part of this pitch was her desire to be seen. She wanted to be famous. A superstar. Just like Elizabeth Taylor, Beyoncé, or Oprah Winfrey. And how would she achieve this fame? By riding a big bike with her family.
I have been the subject of the local news twice. My third-grade class had a food learning experience for the first time, and the principal called the local newspaper. The reporter arrived and briefly interviewed my teacher to ask what was happening. Then, my teacher demonstrated the proper chopstick technique. I was terrible at it and became frustrated. Why? All that talk about food made me hungry. So, when she dropped off a bowl of wontons at our table, I grabbed one while the other kids used their chopsticks. Snap! Yes, that was the photo the reporter used for their article.
I lived in a part of town that used to be on a military base. One day, I found an unexploded rocket and called the police. The event was huge, and the local news filmed me from a distance but chose not to answer their questions when the news tried to interview me.
Attention aversion fits my personality, but I still wonder about that girl. Being famous was so incredibly important. I suppose there are personality types that crave attention. They even have a name for it: histrionic. I imagine many actors have this trait.
We all have our ticks and desires. Sometimes these pass through our lives, and sometimes they stick around. As a ten-year-old, I recall wanting to be a tow truck driver, then a telephone repairman, and then an electrician. I spent my twenties through today learning about electronics, and I still have much to absorb.
In my life, I have met people who did not understand my electronics obsession. “It is easy to make a television.” “Nobody cares about those fiddly bits.” “Just plug it in and move on.” My parents did not like it when I took things apart to see how they worked.
Was that not the same with this girl begging for an interview? No. The big difference was the desperation, and let me attempt to explain. There have been moments when I knew I was doing something wrong/immoral/stupid, yet I still put in the maximum effort to make it happen. Yet, I did not feel a need deep enough to go out begging; that is deep desperation.
The girl on the news was desperate, which means that the pathetic nature of the story saddened me. This is the glue that stuck that memory into my mind. Thirty years later, nobody cared that this family took a biking trip. At best, the family members use it as a conversation starter. And the book? It might have sold a few copies.
It is now clear that I have vetted this thing in my head. The glue is undone, and my powerful memory of that fourteen-year-old girl will fade. Yay! So, thank you, dear readers, for allowing me to clarify my chaotic life.
You’re the best -Bill
August 21, 2024
First, the news crew interviewed the group, then the individuals. This included backstory and fun tales from their trip. Then, they had footage of them driving around town. Everybody was bubbly and seemed perfect for this kind of story. Why were they taking their trip? To see American cities on a bike.
One segment focused on the fourteen-year-old daughter, who used a pay phone to call the local newspaper. Viewers listened to half of the conversation as she told them what the family was doing and their schedule. Then she asked the newspaper to interview them. Later, the mother explained that they were collecting copies of newspaper articles and local news videos “for their scrapbook.”
Why does the news like this kind of story? People do different things, and viewers find unusual topics interesting. Like last night. The local San Diego news was about a couple that turned their backyard into an Indonesian restaurant. They serve one meal a day, costing $220 per person.
https://www.warungrierie.com/
Why did this memory stand out? It was the daughter on the phone. I needed to know why she desperately wanted attention. Take me. I ride my bike once a week to clear out the crazy thoughts and stay healthy. You do not see me calling the local paper to beg for an interview.
And there was another thing. The big bicycle. Umm. They are not wearing backpacks, and the bicycles do not have storage areas. So how do they change clothes? How would they make a video copy of the local news? (Back then, a bulky VCR would be required.) Hmm. Something was not right.
It only took 30 years of thinking to figure it out. They were writing a book. This was not a grand family biking adventure; instead, it was a publicity stunt. They had a car following that was full of junk, including a VCR.
And the daughter was in on the scheme. But why her? Who among them had the best chance of convincing newspaper reporters to interview them? I bet that in other cities, they tried the father, mother, and other kids. The daughter was the best at it. Yet, there was more to it. This was her moment in the spotlight.
What was driving her so hard? She needed to succeed so they would have enough material for the book. Otherwise, they would have to keep peddling around, begging for interviews.
Yet, there was more. She was doing her best to look like she was having a good time, confident about her abilities, knowledgeable about the subject, and pressuring her pitch. That is a lot for a fourteen-year-old mind.
A big part of this pitch was her desire to be seen. She wanted to be famous. A superstar. Just like Elizabeth Taylor, Beyoncé, or Oprah Winfrey. And how would she achieve this fame? By riding a big bike with her family.
I have been the subject of the local news twice. My third-grade class had a food learning experience for the first time, and the principal called the local newspaper. The reporter arrived and briefly interviewed my teacher to ask what was happening. Then, my teacher demonstrated the proper chopstick technique. I was terrible at it and became frustrated. Why? All that talk about food made me hungry. So, when she dropped off a bowl of wontons at our table, I grabbed one while the other kids used their chopsticks. Snap! Yes, that was the photo the reporter used for their article.
I lived in a part of town that used to be on a military base. One day, I found an unexploded rocket and called the police. The event was huge, and the local news filmed me from a distance but chose not to answer their questions when the news tried to interview me.
Attention aversion fits my personality, but I still wonder about that girl. Being famous was so incredibly important. I suppose there are personality types that crave attention. They even have a name for it: histrionic. I imagine many actors have this trait.
We all have our ticks and desires. Sometimes these pass through our lives, and sometimes they stick around. As a ten-year-old, I recall wanting to be a tow truck driver, then a telephone repairman, and then an electrician. I spent my twenties through today learning about electronics, and I still have much to absorb.
In my life, I have met people who did not understand my electronics obsession. “It is easy to make a television.” “Nobody cares about those fiddly bits.” “Just plug it in and move on.” My parents did not like it when I took things apart to see how they worked.
Was that not the same with this girl begging for an interview? No. The big difference was the desperation, and let me attempt to explain. There have been moments when I knew I was doing something wrong/immoral/stupid, yet I still put in the maximum effort to make it happen. Yet, I did not feel a need deep enough to go out begging; that is deep desperation.
The girl on the news was desperate, which means that the pathetic nature of the story saddened me. This is the glue that stuck that memory into my mind. Thirty years later, nobody cared that this family took a biking trip. At best, the family members use it as a conversation starter. And the book? It might have sold a few copies.
It is now clear that I have vetted this thing in my head. The glue is undone, and my powerful memory of that fourteen-year-old girl will fade. Yay! So, thank you, dear readers, for allowing me to clarify my chaotic life.
You’re the best -Bill
August 21, 2024
