Bill Conrad's Blog - Posts Tagged "desperation"
Desiring Fame
If you have read my prior articles, you know I have a bonkers mind, and I enjoy pondering the obscure junk rattling around in my head. This translates to writing articles instead of going to therapy. Well, today is no exception. About 30 years ago, I was watching a human-interest story on the local San Diego news. A family was riding through town on a six-passenger bicycle built by their father.
First, the news crew interviewed the group, then the individuals. This included backstory and fun tales from their trip. Then, they had footage of them driving around town. Everybody was bubbly and seemed perfect for this kind of story. Why were they taking their trip? To see American cities on a bike.
One segment focused on the fourteen-year-old daughter, who used a pay phone to call the local newspaper. Viewers listened to half of the conversation as she told them what the family was doing and their schedule. Then she asked the newspaper to interview them. Later, the mother explained that they were collecting copies of newspaper articles and local news videos “for their scrapbook.”
Why does the news like this kind of story? People do different things, and viewers find unusual topics interesting. Like last night. The local San Diego news was about a couple that turned their backyard into an Indonesian restaurant. They serve one meal a day, costing $220 per person.
https://www.warungrierie.com/
Why did this memory stand out? It was the daughter on the phone. I needed to know why she desperately wanted attention. Take me. I ride my bike once a week to clear out the crazy thoughts and stay healthy. You do not see me calling the local paper to beg for an interview.
And there was another thing. The big bicycle. Umm. They are not wearing backpacks, and the bicycles do not have storage areas. So how do they change clothes? How would they make a video copy of the local news? (Back then, a bulky VCR would be required.) Hmm. Something was not right.
It only took 30 years of thinking to figure it out. They were writing a book. This was not a grand family biking adventure; instead, it was a publicity stunt. They had a car following that was full of junk, including a VCR.
And the daughter was in on the scheme. But why her? Who among them had the best chance of convincing newspaper reporters to interview them? I bet that in other cities, they tried the father, mother, and other kids. The daughter was the best at it. Yet, there was more to it. This was her moment in the spotlight.
What was driving her so hard? She needed to succeed so they would have enough material for the book. Otherwise, they would have to keep peddling around, begging for interviews.
Yet, there was more. She was doing her best to look like she was having a good time, confident about her abilities, knowledgeable about the subject, and pressuring her pitch. That is a lot for a fourteen-year-old mind.
A big part of this pitch was her desire to be seen. She wanted to be famous. A superstar. Just like Elizabeth Taylor, Beyoncé, or Oprah Winfrey. And how would she achieve this fame? By riding a big bike with her family.
I have been the subject of the local news twice. My third-grade class had a food learning experience for the first time, and the principal called the local newspaper. The reporter arrived and briefly interviewed my teacher to ask what was happening. Then, my teacher demonstrated the proper chopstick technique. I was terrible at it and became frustrated. Why? All that talk about food made me hungry. So, when she dropped off a bowl of wontons at our table, I grabbed one while the other kids used their chopsticks. Snap! Yes, that was the photo the reporter used for their article.
I lived in a part of town that used to be on a military base. One day, I found an unexploded rocket and called the police. The event was huge, and the local news filmed me from a distance but chose not to answer their questions when the news tried to interview me.
Attention aversion fits my personality, but I still wonder about that girl. Being famous was so incredibly important. I suppose there are personality types that crave attention. They even have a name for it: histrionic. I imagine many actors have this trait.
We all have our ticks and desires. Sometimes these pass through our lives, and sometimes they stick around. As a ten-year-old, I recall wanting to be a tow truck driver, then a telephone repairman, and then an electrician. I spent my twenties through today learning about electronics, and I still have much to absorb.
In my life, I have met people who did not understand my electronics obsession. “It is easy to make a television.” “Nobody cares about those fiddly bits.” “Just plug it in and move on.” My parents did not like it when I took things apart to see how they worked.
Was that not the same with this girl begging for an interview? No. The big difference was the desperation, and let me attempt to explain. There have been moments when I knew I was doing something wrong/immoral/stupid, yet I still put in the maximum effort to make it happen. Yet, I did not feel a need deep enough to go out begging; that is deep desperation.
The girl on the news was desperate, which means that the pathetic nature of the story saddened me. This is the glue that stuck that memory into my mind. Thirty years later, nobody cared that this family took a biking trip. At best, the family members use it as a conversation starter. And the book? It might have sold a few copies.
It is now clear that I have vetted this thing in my head. The glue is undone, and my powerful memory of that fourteen-year-old girl will fade. Yay! So, thank you, dear readers, for allowing me to clarify my chaotic life.
You’re the best -Bill
August 21, 2024
First, the news crew interviewed the group, then the individuals. This included backstory and fun tales from their trip. Then, they had footage of them driving around town. Everybody was bubbly and seemed perfect for this kind of story. Why were they taking their trip? To see American cities on a bike.
One segment focused on the fourteen-year-old daughter, who used a pay phone to call the local newspaper. Viewers listened to half of the conversation as she told them what the family was doing and their schedule. Then she asked the newspaper to interview them. Later, the mother explained that they were collecting copies of newspaper articles and local news videos “for their scrapbook.”
Why does the news like this kind of story? People do different things, and viewers find unusual topics interesting. Like last night. The local San Diego news was about a couple that turned their backyard into an Indonesian restaurant. They serve one meal a day, costing $220 per person.
https://www.warungrierie.com/
Why did this memory stand out? It was the daughter on the phone. I needed to know why she desperately wanted attention. Take me. I ride my bike once a week to clear out the crazy thoughts and stay healthy. You do not see me calling the local paper to beg for an interview.
And there was another thing. The big bicycle. Umm. They are not wearing backpacks, and the bicycles do not have storage areas. So how do they change clothes? How would they make a video copy of the local news? (Back then, a bulky VCR would be required.) Hmm. Something was not right.
It only took 30 years of thinking to figure it out. They were writing a book. This was not a grand family biking adventure; instead, it was a publicity stunt. They had a car following that was full of junk, including a VCR.
And the daughter was in on the scheme. But why her? Who among them had the best chance of convincing newspaper reporters to interview them? I bet that in other cities, they tried the father, mother, and other kids. The daughter was the best at it. Yet, there was more to it. This was her moment in the spotlight.
What was driving her so hard? She needed to succeed so they would have enough material for the book. Otherwise, they would have to keep peddling around, begging for interviews.
Yet, there was more. She was doing her best to look like she was having a good time, confident about her abilities, knowledgeable about the subject, and pressuring her pitch. That is a lot for a fourteen-year-old mind.
A big part of this pitch was her desire to be seen. She wanted to be famous. A superstar. Just like Elizabeth Taylor, Beyoncé, or Oprah Winfrey. And how would she achieve this fame? By riding a big bike with her family.
I have been the subject of the local news twice. My third-grade class had a food learning experience for the first time, and the principal called the local newspaper. The reporter arrived and briefly interviewed my teacher to ask what was happening. Then, my teacher demonstrated the proper chopstick technique. I was terrible at it and became frustrated. Why? All that talk about food made me hungry. So, when she dropped off a bowl of wontons at our table, I grabbed one while the other kids used their chopsticks. Snap! Yes, that was the photo the reporter used for their article.
I lived in a part of town that used to be on a military base. One day, I found an unexploded rocket and called the police. The event was huge, and the local news filmed me from a distance but chose not to answer their questions when the news tried to interview me.
Attention aversion fits my personality, but I still wonder about that girl. Being famous was so incredibly important. I suppose there are personality types that crave attention. They even have a name for it: histrionic. I imagine many actors have this trait.
We all have our ticks and desires. Sometimes these pass through our lives, and sometimes they stick around. As a ten-year-old, I recall wanting to be a tow truck driver, then a telephone repairman, and then an electrician. I spent my twenties through today learning about electronics, and I still have much to absorb.
In my life, I have met people who did not understand my electronics obsession. “It is easy to make a television.” “Nobody cares about those fiddly bits.” “Just plug it in and move on.” My parents did not like it when I took things apart to see how they worked.
Was that not the same with this girl begging for an interview? No. The big difference was the desperation, and let me attempt to explain. There have been moments when I knew I was doing something wrong/immoral/stupid, yet I still put in the maximum effort to make it happen. Yet, I did not feel a need deep enough to go out begging; that is deep desperation.
The girl on the news was desperate, which means that the pathetic nature of the story saddened me. This is the glue that stuck that memory into my mind. Thirty years later, nobody cared that this family took a biking trip. At best, the family members use it as a conversation starter. And the book? It might have sold a few copies.
It is now clear that I have vetted this thing in my head. The glue is undone, and my powerful memory of that fourteen-year-old girl will fade. Yay! So, thank you, dear readers, for allowing me to clarify my chaotic life.
You’re the best -Bill
August 21, 2024
