Ruby Fitzgerald's Blog, page 2
July 4, 2020
The USA
It’s the Fourth of July, and with the state of the USA right now (Covid-19 quarantine, Black Lives Matter Protests, political unrest, accusations of violence and racism) you might be feeling somewhat guilty for wanting to celebrate this weekend. You might have conflicted feelings about uplifting the country’s successes. I understand.
The best analogy I can think of though is that the USA is like a rescue dog:
It’s excited and scared, constantly on edge but super loving. It chews through couch pillows and digs in the houseplants. It chases the cat. And barks at the mailman. But it also wags its tail a million times a minute when it learns a new trick and licks your hand when it gets a treat. It’s eager to please, but wary of strangers. It howls in the middle of the night, which drives you mad, but runs happy laps around the house when you get home from work which makes you incredibly grateful to have such a friend. It’s playful. And messy. It frustrates you But also makes you laugh. It’s a growing, silly, sad, broken, happy, worried, excited ball of energy and confusion and love and curiosity. And it’s still learning.
The best thing we can do this Fourth of July is metaphorically pet the US on the head, tell it its a ‘good boy’ for its steps toward equality, for its achievements, for its hope and effort. And yet not forget that it still needs teaching, needs reprimanding for wrongdoing; it still needs reminders not to pee in the house or growl at the children.
Give the USA credit for the right its done. Then remind it that it needs to do better. Work harder. Every single day.
The best analogy I can think of though is that the USA is like a rescue dog:
It’s excited and scared, constantly on edge but super loving. It chews through couch pillows and digs in the houseplants. It chases the cat. And barks at the mailman. But it also wags its tail a million times a minute when it learns a new trick and licks your hand when it gets a treat. It’s eager to please, but wary of strangers. It howls in the middle of the night, which drives you mad, but runs happy laps around the house when you get home from work which makes you incredibly grateful to have such a friend. It’s playful. And messy. It frustrates you But also makes you laugh. It’s a growing, silly, sad, broken, happy, worried, excited ball of energy and confusion and love and curiosity. And it’s still learning.
The best thing we can do this Fourth of July is metaphorically pet the US on the head, tell it its a ‘good boy’ for its steps toward equality, for its achievements, for its hope and effort. And yet not forget that it still needs teaching, needs reprimanding for wrongdoing; it still needs reminders not to pee in the house or growl at the children.
Give the USA credit for the right its done. Then remind it that it needs to do better. Work harder. Every single day.
June 20, 2020
Juneteenth
Yesterday was Juneteenth, a holiday that I only knew a little bit about... much like a lot of other US history having to do with the maltreatment of African Americans. School did not teach me much about the plight, the abuse, the torture and trauma and evil inflicted on the black population by this country. And not just in the past, but also in the day to day currently. I was pretty ignorant. Although my ignorance is largely not my fault - it’s a result of the systematically racist, denial-filled, privilege-lead, self-serving bigoted patriarchy that’s been in charge of government, education, and societal norms for waaaay too long - it is in my power to end my ignorance. To do some research, to listen when people share stories of outrage and pain, to be open and understanding of new information. To find out more about the history being called into light today.
So on that note, I would like to share some of what I have learned about Juneteenth and the history it represents:
*Juneteenth is also know as Freedom Day, Jubilee Day, Liberation Day, and Emancipation Day... but sadly is not yet recognized as a National Holiday (although many states have individually recognized the day as a state holiday)
*The specific June 19th date originates with the freeing of slaves in the (then Confederate) state of Texas, who had still been enslaved for two years AFTER the Emancipation Proclamation in 1863.
It’s estimated that during those 2+ years (from the Emancipation in 1863 to 1865 when the federal troops arrived at Galveston Island, Texas) that 250,000 people were still enslaved.
*Early Juneteenth celebrations were also used to give voting information to newly freed sales.
Juneteenth is a reminder of history disgustingly repeating itself: that over and over again black Americans have been denied freedom, justice, and equal treatment. For instance, in the late 1890’s a number of states (including Texas) passed legislation excluding black people from political processes and devaluing their lives, and snuffing out their voices.
In the years between 1936 and 1951 a revival of celebrations of Juneteenth swept Texas. Including a ‘Juneteenth Jamboree’ in Dallas having apx. 70,000 attendees.
*Juneteenth is hailed as the longest running African American holiday and is also referred to as America’s Second Independence Day.
*In the words of Mitch Kachun, the holiday is meant “to celebrate, to educate, and to agitate”. It’s a powerful day.
Be a part of change by sharing stories, information, and honest history.
Because Black Lives Matter.
So on that note, I would like to share some of what I have learned about Juneteenth and the history it represents:
*Juneteenth is also know as Freedom Day, Jubilee Day, Liberation Day, and Emancipation Day... but sadly is not yet recognized as a National Holiday (although many states have individually recognized the day as a state holiday)
*The specific June 19th date originates with the freeing of slaves in the (then Confederate) state of Texas, who had still been enslaved for two years AFTER the Emancipation Proclamation in 1863.
It’s estimated that during those 2+ years (from the Emancipation in 1863 to 1865 when the federal troops arrived at Galveston Island, Texas) that 250,000 people were still enslaved.
*Early Juneteenth celebrations were also used to give voting information to newly freed sales.
Juneteenth is a reminder of history disgustingly repeating itself: that over and over again black Americans have been denied freedom, justice, and equal treatment. For instance, in the late 1890’s a number of states (including Texas) passed legislation excluding black people from political processes and devaluing their lives, and snuffing out their voices.
In the years between 1936 and 1951 a revival of celebrations of Juneteenth swept Texas. Including a ‘Juneteenth Jamboree’ in Dallas having apx. 70,000 attendees.
*Juneteenth is hailed as the longest running African American holiday and is also referred to as America’s Second Independence Day.
*In the words of Mitch Kachun, the holiday is meant “to celebrate, to educate, and to agitate”. It’s a powerful day.
Be a part of change by sharing stories, information, and honest history.
Because Black Lives Matter.
June 6, 2020
Back Lives Matter
The Black Lives Matter movement is an ongoing, dedicated, heart-felt, powerful call to humanity to do the right thing. To treat the Black Community with the respect, equality, and care it deserves. Which is why I want to share their mission statement.
Please do not hesitate to visit blacklivesmatter.com for more information.
“Black Lives Matter began as a call to action in response to state-sanctioned violence and anti-Black racism. Our intention from the very beginning was to connect Black people from all over the world who have a shared desire for justice to act together in their communities. The impetus for that commitment was, and still is, the rampant and deliberate violence inflicted on us by the state.
Enraged by the death of Trayvon Martin and the subsequent acquittal of his killer, George Zimmerman, and inspired by the 31-day takeover of the Florida State Capitol by POWER U and the Dream Defenders, we took to the streets. A year later, we set out together on the Black Lives Matter Freedom Ride to Ferguson, in search of justice for Mike Brown and all of those who have been torn apart by state-sanctioned violence and anti-Black racism. Forever changed, we returned home and began building the infrastructure for the Black Lives Matter Global Network, which, even in its infancy, has become a political home for many.
Ferguson helped to catalyze a movement to which we’ve all helped give life. Organizers who call this network home have ousted anti-Black politicians, won critical legislation to benefit Black lives, and changed the terms of the debate on Blackness around the world. Through movement and relationship building, we have also helped catalyze other movements and shifted culture with an eye toward the dangerous impacts of anti-Blackness.
These are the results of our collective efforts.
The Black Lives Matter Global Network is as powerful as it is because of our membership, our partners, our supporters, our staff, and you. Our continued commitment to liberation for all Black people means we are continuing the work of our ancestors and fighting for our collective freedom because it is our duty.
Every day, we recommit to healing ourselves and each other, and to co-creating alongside comrades, allies, and family a culture where each person feels seen, heard, and supported.
We acknowledge, respect, and celebrate differences and commonalities.
We work vigorously for freedom and justice for Black people and, by extension, all people.
We intentionally build and nurture a beloved community that is bonded together through a beautiful struggle that is restorative, not depleting.
We are unapologetically Black in our positioning. In affirming that Black Lives Matter, we need not qualify our position. To love and desire freedom and justice for ourselves is a prerequisite for wanting the same for others.
We see ourselves as part of the global Black family, and we are aware of the different ways we are impacted or privileged as Black people who exist in different parts of the world.
We are guided by the fact that all Black lives matter, regardless of actual or perceived sexual identity, gender identity, gender expression, economic status, ability, disability, religious beliefs or disbeliefs, immigration status, or location.
We make space for transgender brothers and sisters to participate and lead.
We are self-reflexive and do the work required to dismantle cisgender privilege and uplift Black trans folk, especially Black trans women who continue to be disproportionately impacted by trans-antagonistic violence.
We build a space that affirms Black women and is free from sexism, misogyny, and environments in which men are centered.
We practice empathy. We engage comrades with the intent to learn about and connect with their contexts.
We make our spaces family-friendly and enable parents to fully participate with their children. We dismantle the patriarchal practice that requires mothers to work “double shifts” so that they can mother in private even as they participate in public justice work.
We disrupt the Western-prescribed nuclear family structure requirement by supporting each other as extended families and “villages” that collectively care for one another, especially our children, to the degree that mothers, parents, and children are comfortable.
We foster a queer‐affirming network. When we gather, we do so with the intention of freeing ourselves from the tight grip of heteronormative thinking, or rather, the belief that all in the world are heterosexual (unless s/he or they disclose otherwise).
We cultivate an intergenerational and communal network free from ageism. We believe that all people, regardless of age, show up with the capacity to lead and learn.
We embody and practice justice, liberation, and peace in our engagements with one another.”
Please do not hesitate to visit blacklivesmatter.com for more information.
“Black Lives Matter began as a call to action in response to state-sanctioned violence and anti-Black racism. Our intention from the very beginning was to connect Black people from all over the world who have a shared desire for justice to act together in their communities. The impetus for that commitment was, and still is, the rampant and deliberate violence inflicted on us by the state.
Enraged by the death of Trayvon Martin and the subsequent acquittal of his killer, George Zimmerman, and inspired by the 31-day takeover of the Florida State Capitol by POWER U and the Dream Defenders, we took to the streets. A year later, we set out together on the Black Lives Matter Freedom Ride to Ferguson, in search of justice for Mike Brown and all of those who have been torn apart by state-sanctioned violence and anti-Black racism. Forever changed, we returned home and began building the infrastructure for the Black Lives Matter Global Network, which, even in its infancy, has become a political home for many.
Ferguson helped to catalyze a movement to which we’ve all helped give life. Organizers who call this network home have ousted anti-Black politicians, won critical legislation to benefit Black lives, and changed the terms of the debate on Blackness around the world. Through movement and relationship building, we have also helped catalyze other movements and shifted culture with an eye toward the dangerous impacts of anti-Blackness.
These are the results of our collective efforts.
The Black Lives Matter Global Network is as powerful as it is because of our membership, our partners, our supporters, our staff, and you. Our continued commitment to liberation for all Black people means we are continuing the work of our ancestors and fighting for our collective freedom because it is our duty.
Every day, we recommit to healing ourselves and each other, and to co-creating alongside comrades, allies, and family a culture where each person feels seen, heard, and supported.
We acknowledge, respect, and celebrate differences and commonalities.
We work vigorously for freedom and justice for Black people and, by extension, all people.
We intentionally build and nurture a beloved community that is bonded together through a beautiful struggle that is restorative, not depleting.
We are unapologetically Black in our positioning. In affirming that Black Lives Matter, we need not qualify our position. To love and desire freedom and justice for ourselves is a prerequisite for wanting the same for others.
We see ourselves as part of the global Black family, and we are aware of the different ways we are impacted or privileged as Black people who exist in different parts of the world.
We are guided by the fact that all Black lives matter, regardless of actual or perceived sexual identity, gender identity, gender expression, economic status, ability, disability, religious beliefs or disbeliefs, immigration status, or location.
We make space for transgender brothers and sisters to participate and lead.
We are self-reflexive and do the work required to dismantle cisgender privilege and uplift Black trans folk, especially Black trans women who continue to be disproportionately impacted by trans-antagonistic violence.
We build a space that affirms Black women and is free from sexism, misogyny, and environments in which men are centered.
We practice empathy. We engage comrades with the intent to learn about and connect with their contexts.
We make our spaces family-friendly and enable parents to fully participate with their children. We dismantle the patriarchal practice that requires mothers to work “double shifts” so that they can mother in private even as they participate in public justice work.
We disrupt the Western-prescribed nuclear family structure requirement by supporting each other as extended families and “villages” that collectively care for one another, especially our children, to the degree that mothers, parents, and children are comfortable.
We foster a queer‐affirming network. When we gather, we do so with the intention of freeing ourselves from the tight grip of heteronormative thinking, or rather, the belief that all in the world are heterosexual (unless s/he or they disclose otherwise).
We cultivate an intergenerational and communal network free from ageism. We believe that all people, regardless of age, show up with the capacity to lead and learn.
We embody and practice justice, liberation, and peace in our engagements with one another.”
May 30, 2020
Mental Health Check
So this is less of a blog post and more of a check-in.
I feel that, with the country starting in on its reopening, anxiety and overall stress levels have got to be high. COVID-19 is still a threat. Lots of people are still out of work. There are protests and riots. There are murder bees and swarms of cicadas. Fear is high.
Uncertainty is our only certainty. And 2020 seems to get be getting more bizarre and frightening by the day.
So, mental health check.
Have you showered in the last 24hrs?
Have to talked with someone (your cat doesn’t count) about how you feel?
Have you eaten recently—food with nutritional value?
Have you gotten any exercise?
Go drink a glass of water.
Take a short nap.
Stretch and/or meditate.
Call your best friend and tell them you love them.
Do an activity that is kind to yourself (read some poetry, paint your toenails, have a cup of tea, etc)
Look at a calendar and have a moment of optimism about what you can do later in the year.
Remind yourself that things will be ok. Eventually.
Are you struggling? What can help?
Are you still taking the supplements/medicine that you should be?
Have you talked to a therapist recently?
How’s your skin? Do you need to wash your face and up your hydration?
How’s your posture? Are your shoulders tight— do you need to take a deep breath and allow them to relax?
One day at a time, y’all. Don’t get so caught up in the worry of the future that you forget to find pleasure in today. Take care of yourself. Show yourself patience and kindness.
You are allowed to feel scared and unhappy.
There is no shame in asking for help.
I feel that, with the country starting in on its reopening, anxiety and overall stress levels have got to be high. COVID-19 is still a threat. Lots of people are still out of work. There are protests and riots. There are murder bees and swarms of cicadas. Fear is high.
Uncertainty is our only certainty. And 2020 seems to get be getting more bizarre and frightening by the day.
So, mental health check.
Have you showered in the last 24hrs?
Have to talked with someone (your cat doesn’t count) about how you feel?
Have you eaten recently—food with nutritional value?
Have you gotten any exercise?
Go drink a glass of water.
Take a short nap.
Stretch and/or meditate.
Call your best friend and tell them you love them.
Do an activity that is kind to yourself (read some poetry, paint your toenails, have a cup of tea, etc)
Look at a calendar and have a moment of optimism about what you can do later in the year.
Remind yourself that things will be ok. Eventually.
Are you struggling? What can help?
Are you still taking the supplements/medicine that you should be?
Have you talked to a therapist recently?
How’s your skin? Do you need to wash your face and up your hydration?
How’s your posture? Are your shoulders tight— do you need to take a deep breath and allow them to relax?
One day at a time, y’all. Don’t get so caught up in the worry of the future that you forget to find pleasure in today. Take care of yourself. Show yourself patience and kindness.
You are allowed to feel scared and unhappy.
There is no shame in asking for help.
May 16, 2020
Pursuit of Happiness
I find it hard to allow myself to be happy. When that deep-in- your-chest peaceful happiness takes a hold of me, I enjoy it for only a short while before fear sets in and ruins it. Fear that my happiness will be false, short-lived, or end up hurting me in the long run. Guilt hits me, of ‘how dare I be happy when others are hurting’. I sink into the assumption that if I am happy, riding high on life, at peace, etc etc, that that only means that eventually I will crash. That I will pay for my happiness, so to speak, with the after affect of depression or sorrow or let-down. I assume that happiness comes with strings attached. With a price tag I may not be prepared to pay.
And that’s stupid.
Yes, there are people hurting. Suffering. Crying. Struggling. Even dying. But that should not negate my ability to enjoy life. It does not somehow void my right to the pursuit of happiness. My humanity and empathy does not decrease based on my self-enjoyment.
No one, on their death bed looking back at their life, would say to someone that they should have been less happy, should have enjoyed their life less. No. This life is a gift. And if I am fortune enough to have health and wealth enough to enjoy it— it’s disrespectful to that gift for me not to.
I will give, share, sympathize, and participate in the lives of others; I will not turn a blind eye to the world’s suffering. I will try to lift others up. However, I refuse to shadow and dismiss my happiness any longer. I have fought long and hard through mental/emotional, financial, and physical struggles. I need to believe in myself, believe in my ability to live fully— and allow myself to feel happiness without fear.
And I wish the same for you. Put away the guilt. Shoo the fear from your mind. Let your heart be at peace. Our time on this earth is limited, we should not squander what we have.
And that’s stupid.
Yes, there are people hurting. Suffering. Crying. Struggling. Even dying. But that should not negate my ability to enjoy life. It does not somehow void my right to the pursuit of happiness. My humanity and empathy does not decrease based on my self-enjoyment.
No one, on their death bed looking back at their life, would say to someone that they should have been less happy, should have enjoyed their life less. No. This life is a gift. And if I am fortune enough to have health and wealth enough to enjoy it— it’s disrespectful to that gift for me not to.
I will give, share, sympathize, and participate in the lives of others; I will not turn a blind eye to the world’s suffering. I will try to lift others up. However, I refuse to shadow and dismiss my happiness any longer. I have fought long and hard through mental/emotional, financial, and physical struggles. I need to believe in myself, believe in my ability to live fully— and allow myself to feel happiness without fear.
And I wish the same for you. Put away the guilt. Shoo the fear from your mind. Let your heart be at peace. Our time on this earth is limited, we should not squander what we have.
May 9, 2020
The World Keeps Spinning
So I feel like many of you are aware that I’ve been planning a big Europe trip for the end of the year. That I’ve been working toward emotional and mental health. And that I’ve been very focused on being the best version of myself that I can possibly be. All with the point of accepting my life, living as fully as I can, loving myself, and feeling at peace — truly whole — within my existence. Not an easy thing at all.
Well, not at all unlike many of you... my life has been turned upside down due to COVID-19. So that already not-so-easy thing I just explained has gotten exponentially more difficult. My trip has been postponed. I lost one of my jobs. My living situation has been altered. My stress is through the roof. Honestly, what it comes down to is that my stability has been upset and the dynamic of many of my relationships has changed. Life has hit a reset button and it ain’t a purty one.
This. All this insanity and uncertainty. It’s crazy. But, you know what it’s done for me? Besides of course make me lose sleep, gain weight, and spin endlessly through cycles of anxieties? It’s made me stop and think about what actually, truly, deeply matters to me. What hobbies are good for my mental health. What people are good for my emotional health. And what foods and activities are good for my physical health.
It’s easy to fall into habits and routines, to think that we’re doing our best simply because our lives are chugging along. It’s easy to get comfortable and accept the day-to-day normal as good enough. It’s easy to forget that ok isn’t the same as great. So if COVID has upset your existence, your plans, relationships, habits, feelings, and activities the way it has mine... I encourage you to take this as an opportunity to seek improvement rather than an excuse to fall into subpar complacency.
Time keeps speeding by. The world keeps spinning. Don’t waste your days. Examine your being. Break your bad habits. Seek life’s lessons. Take better care of yourself. Love more fiercely. Act more boldly. Take this strange pandemic experience as the foundation for growth.
I know that’s quite a challenge. But it’s a challenge I’m willing to rise to. And I hope you are too.
Well, not at all unlike many of you... my life has been turned upside down due to COVID-19. So that already not-so-easy thing I just explained has gotten exponentially more difficult. My trip has been postponed. I lost one of my jobs. My living situation has been altered. My stress is through the roof. Honestly, what it comes down to is that my stability has been upset and the dynamic of many of my relationships has changed. Life has hit a reset button and it ain’t a purty one.
This. All this insanity and uncertainty. It’s crazy. But, you know what it’s done for me? Besides of course make me lose sleep, gain weight, and spin endlessly through cycles of anxieties? It’s made me stop and think about what actually, truly, deeply matters to me. What hobbies are good for my mental health. What people are good for my emotional health. And what foods and activities are good for my physical health.
It’s easy to fall into habits and routines, to think that we’re doing our best simply because our lives are chugging along. It’s easy to get comfortable and accept the day-to-day normal as good enough. It’s easy to forget that ok isn’t the same as great. So if COVID has upset your existence, your plans, relationships, habits, feelings, and activities the way it has mine... I encourage you to take this as an opportunity to seek improvement rather than an excuse to fall into subpar complacency.
Time keeps speeding by. The world keeps spinning. Don’t waste your days. Examine your being. Break your bad habits. Seek life’s lessons. Take better care of yourself. Love more fiercely. Act more boldly. Take this strange pandemic experience as the foundation for growth.
I know that’s quite a challenge. But it’s a challenge I’m willing to rise to. And I hope you are too.
May 2, 2020
Protecting Your Energy
If you are feeling drained, fearful, or out of control, you should absolutely keep reading... Because Anxiety Coach, Amanda Dewey was generous enough to write today’s guest post with the intention of helping us all feel as energized and at peace as we possibly can during the ongoing pandemic.
Protecting Your Energy
One way I like to put the topic of energy is, like a personal drug. You take a drug to feel a something, anything for that matter. And when the drug wears off you are left wanting more. When you’re at your low and you need to go somewhere to find more to “pick you back up” you will take it from anywhere. This is similar to when you burn out of energy. Until you can effectively maintain your energy, you are going to keep burning out and that means taking it from somewhere else.
Preserve your energy, like you would to save money on your power bill. Meaning only project out your energy to things that are worth projecting. And if you come face to face with a negative energy think to yourself, is this something that I want to dive into? Do I want to use more of my precious energy on something that is not going to leave me satisfied and happy?
Give Yourself Permission To Set Boundaries
You cannot help someone if your energy is fatigued. Set the intention that your energy is your own, and no one else’s. If there is someone in your life who is negative or exhausted, do not allow yourself to tap into their energy. Remember and tell yourself that you are responsible for your own.
If you find yourself having difficulties, you can recite energy affirmations such as the following
My energy is protected & completely my own
I am full of self confidence, energy & joy
My energy raises the vibration in the room while keeping me safe and protected
“Bubble-Wrap” Your Energy
If you know you are about to walk into a situation that is normally draining or overall just exhausting…you can’t help but take some of that onto yourself. It’s projection. This is more of a mental strength exercise where you envision yourself energetically bubble wrapped, nothing negative can touch you, you are fully protected.
If you find yourself having difficulties, you can recite energy affirmations such as the following
I am free from all energy drains
I am protected at all times
My energy is safe and completely mine
Release Energetic Ties To Others
When we are a safety net for others' energy, it’s simply because a part of us feels that they are unable to look after themselves. We take on other peoples “stuff” because we want to protect them, or relieve them. When releasing these ties with others we are still in a way protecting them with our energy, however we are no longer carrying it for them. This will help you come back to being completely you.
If you find yourself having difficulties, you can recite energy affirmations such as the following
I release all energetic attachments to _______
Cleanse & Clear Your Space
I love having a clear space, I feel like I have room to breathe. This is as simple as the title, de-clutter your space and your home. Release and let go of all the stuff you no longer need. Take some sage to burn and some crystals to lay out and bring a brand new energy into your living space.
If you find yourself having difficulties, you can recite energy affirmations such as the following
I breathe in positive energies only
My space is loving, protected & clear
At the end of the day as you reflect on the things you have done, do you find yourself fatigued, restless, drained, or emotional? This could all be because your energy is burnt out. Once you start to protect and save your energy and learn how to use it in different situations, you will begin to see a shift. You will start to see a change in the way you think, project, and feel towards life and the things you encounter. Do yourself a favor and analyze where your energy is going, and maybe a simple shift is all you need.
xo
If you love Amanda’s writing and advice as much as I do, please do check out her Instagram @amandadewey_
Protecting Your Energy
One way I like to put the topic of energy is, like a personal drug. You take a drug to feel a something, anything for that matter. And when the drug wears off you are left wanting more. When you’re at your low and you need to go somewhere to find more to “pick you back up” you will take it from anywhere. This is similar to when you burn out of energy. Until you can effectively maintain your energy, you are going to keep burning out and that means taking it from somewhere else.
Preserve your energy, like you would to save money on your power bill. Meaning only project out your energy to things that are worth projecting. And if you come face to face with a negative energy think to yourself, is this something that I want to dive into? Do I want to use more of my precious energy on something that is not going to leave me satisfied and happy?
Give Yourself Permission To Set Boundaries
You cannot help someone if your energy is fatigued. Set the intention that your energy is your own, and no one else’s. If there is someone in your life who is negative or exhausted, do not allow yourself to tap into their energy. Remember and tell yourself that you are responsible for your own.
If you find yourself having difficulties, you can recite energy affirmations such as the following
My energy is protected & completely my own
I am full of self confidence, energy & joy
My energy raises the vibration in the room while keeping me safe and protected
“Bubble-Wrap” Your Energy
If you know you are about to walk into a situation that is normally draining or overall just exhausting…you can’t help but take some of that onto yourself. It’s projection. This is more of a mental strength exercise where you envision yourself energetically bubble wrapped, nothing negative can touch you, you are fully protected.
If you find yourself having difficulties, you can recite energy affirmations such as the following
I am free from all energy drains
I am protected at all times
My energy is safe and completely mine
Release Energetic Ties To Others
When we are a safety net for others' energy, it’s simply because a part of us feels that they are unable to look after themselves. We take on other peoples “stuff” because we want to protect them, or relieve them. When releasing these ties with others we are still in a way protecting them with our energy, however we are no longer carrying it for them. This will help you come back to being completely you.
If you find yourself having difficulties, you can recite energy affirmations such as the following
I release all energetic attachments to _______
Cleanse & Clear Your Space
I love having a clear space, I feel like I have room to breathe. This is as simple as the title, de-clutter your space and your home. Release and let go of all the stuff you no longer need. Take some sage to burn and some crystals to lay out and bring a brand new energy into your living space.
If you find yourself having difficulties, you can recite energy affirmations such as the following
I breathe in positive energies only
My space is loving, protected & clear
At the end of the day as you reflect on the things you have done, do you find yourself fatigued, restless, drained, or emotional? This could all be because your energy is burnt out. Once you start to protect and save your energy and learn how to use it in different situations, you will begin to see a shift. You will start to see a change in the way you think, project, and feel towards life and the things you encounter. Do yourself a favor and analyze where your energy is going, and maybe a simple shift is all you need.
xo
If you love Amanda’s writing and advice as much as I do, please do check out her Instagram @amandadewey_
Protecting Your Energy
If you are feeling drained, fearful, or out of control, you should absolutely keep reading... Because Anxiety Coach, Amanda Dewey was generous enough to write today’s guest post with the intention of helping us all feel as energized and at peace as we possibly can during the ongoing pandemic.
Protecting Your Energy
One way I like to put the topic of energy is, like a personal drug. You take a drug to feel a something, anything for that matter. And when the drug wears off you are left wanting more. When you’re at your low and you need to go somewhere to find more to “pick you back up” you will take it from anywhere. This is similar to when you burn out of energy. Until you can effectively maintain your energy, you are going to keep burning out and that means taking it from somewhere else.
Preserve your energy, like you would to save money on your power bill. Meaning only project out your energy to things that are worth projecting. And if you come face to face with a negative energy think to yourself, is this something that I want to dive into? Do I want to use more of my precious energy on something that is not going to leave me satisfied and happy?
Give Yourself Permission To Set Boundaries
You cannot help someone if your energy is fatigued. Set the intention that your energy is your own, and no one else’s. If there is someone in your life who is negative or exhausted, do not allow yourself to tap into their energy. Remember and tell yourself that you are responsible for your own.
If you find yourself having difficulties, you can recite energy affirmations such as the following
My energy is protected & completely my own
I am full of self confidence, energy & joy
My energy raises the vibration in the room while keeping me safe and protected
“Bubble-Wrap” Your Energy
If you know you are about to walk into a situation that is normally draining or overall just exhausting…you can’t help but take some of that onto yourself. It’s projection. This is more of a mental strength exercise where you envision yourself energetically bubble wrapped, nothing negative can touch you, you are fully protected.
If you find yourself having difficulties, you can recite energy affirmations such as the following
I am free from all energy drains
I am protected at all times
My energy is safe and completely mine
Release Energetic Ties To Others
When we are a safety net for others' energy, it’s simply because a part of us feels that they are unable to look after themselves. We take on other peoples “stuff” because we want to protect them, or relieve them. When releasing these ties with others we are still in a way protecting them with our energy, however we are no longer carrying it for them. This will help you come back to being completely you.
If you find yourself having difficulties, you can recite energy affirmations such as the following
I release all energetic attachments to _______
Cleanse & Clear Your Space
I love having a clear space, I feel like I have room to breathe. This is as simple as the title, de-clutter your space and your home. Release and let go of all the stuff you no longer need. Take some sage to burn and some crystals to lay out and bring a brand new energy into your living space.
If you find yourself having difficulties, you can recite energy affirmations such as the following
I breathe in positive energies only
My space is loving, protected & clear
At the end of the day as you reflect on the things you have done, do you find yourself fatigued, restless, drained, or emotional? This could all be because your energy is burnt out. Once you start to protect and save your energy and learn how to use it in different situations, you will begin to see a shift. You will start to see a change in the way you think, project, and feel towards life and the things you encounter. Do yourself a favor and analyze where your energy is going, and maybe a simple shift is all you need.
xo
If you love Amanda’s writing and advice as much as I do, please do check out her Instagram @amandadewey_
Protecting Your Energy
One way I like to put the topic of energy is, like a personal drug. You take a drug to feel a something, anything for that matter. And when the drug wears off you are left wanting more. When you’re at your low and you need to go somewhere to find more to “pick you back up” you will take it from anywhere. This is similar to when you burn out of energy. Until you can effectively maintain your energy, you are going to keep burning out and that means taking it from somewhere else.
Preserve your energy, like you would to save money on your power bill. Meaning only project out your energy to things that are worth projecting. And if you come face to face with a negative energy think to yourself, is this something that I want to dive into? Do I want to use more of my precious energy on something that is not going to leave me satisfied and happy?
Give Yourself Permission To Set Boundaries
You cannot help someone if your energy is fatigued. Set the intention that your energy is your own, and no one else’s. If there is someone in your life who is negative or exhausted, do not allow yourself to tap into their energy. Remember and tell yourself that you are responsible for your own.
If you find yourself having difficulties, you can recite energy affirmations such as the following
My energy is protected & completely my own
I am full of self confidence, energy & joy
My energy raises the vibration in the room while keeping me safe and protected
“Bubble-Wrap” Your Energy
If you know you are about to walk into a situation that is normally draining or overall just exhausting…you can’t help but take some of that onto yourself. It’s projection. This is more of a mental strength exercise where you envision yourself energetically bubble wrapped, nothing negative can touch you, you are fully protected.
If you find yourself having difficulties, you can recite energy affirmations such as the following
I am free from all energy drains
I am protected at all times
My energy is safe and completely mine
Release Energetic Ties To Others
When we are a safety net for others' energy, it’s simply because a part of us feels that they are unable to look after themselves. We take on other peoples “stuff” because we want to protect them, or relieve them. When releasing these ties with others we are still in a way protecting them with our energy, however we are no longer carrying it for them. This will help you come back to being completely you.
If you find yourself having difficulties, you can recite energy affirmations such as the following
I release all energetic attachments to _______
Cleanse & Clear Your Space
I love having a clear space, I feel like I have room to breathe. This is as simple as the title, de-clutter your space and your home. Release and let go of all the stuff you no longer need. Take some sage to burn and some crystals to lay out and bring a brand new energy into your living space.
If you find yourself having difficulties, you can recite energy affirmations such as the following
I breathe in positive energies only
My space is loving, protected & clear
At the end of the day as you reflect on the things you have done, do you find yourself fatigued, restless, drained, or emotional? This could all be because your energy is burnt out. Once you start to protect and save your energy and learn how to use it in different situations, you will begin to see a shift. You will start to see a change in the way you think, project, and feel towards life and the things you encounter. Do yourself a favor and analyze where your energy is going, and maybe a simple shift is all you need.
xo
If you love Amanda’s writing and advice as much as I do, please do check out her Instagram @amandadewey_
April 25, 2020
Valid Feelings
I recently came to the difficult realization that my Europe trip will mostly likely not be happening this year, due to COVID-19. This, for me, is heart breaking.
However, a part of me feels really shallow (and border-line ridiculous) that I have spent so much time crying over my change in plans. I am not sick. No one I know has died from the virus. I am doing ok financially. I am loved and not alone through all this. And my trip is not cancelled, it is simply postponed.
My sorrow feels unjustified.
I feel like I should be forcing myself into feeling grateful that my life is going along fairly normally despite the hardship and chaos the world is currently facing. But in the end, we are all mourning right now. My feelings are not invalid. I am allowed to be sad.
Honestly, we are all in mourning... the cancelling and delays of weddings and graduations, summer fests and baby showers, have affected us all. We are mourning the loss of seeing and having fun with family members and friends. Our jobs have been uprooted, our annual traditions have been broken, and we’re no longer able to travel without fear. We are being hit with a loss of security and freedom like we have never experienced before. So if you are feeling low over any of these things — even something as simple and “insignificant” as a birthday celebration or Friday happy hour — I remind you that it’s perfectly acceptable to feel the way you do. Yes, other people may be experiencing horrible outcomes of the world shutdown, but that does not belittle nor negate your experience.
I have been working toward my Europe excursion for years now, which I’ve wanted to take since I was a little girl. I’ve planned and plotted, bought plane tickets, searched attractions, read up on local hot-spots, made a list of to-do’s in preparation of traveling, and marked my calendar with destination dates. And now all of it will have to be scrapped and redone for next year instead. It’s a massive disappointment. I huge life disruption. And I’m allowed to mourn.
Be sad. Be angry. Be disappointed.
Then when you’re ready, take a deep breath... and prepare for your altered future with fresh hope.
However, a part of me feels really shallow (and border-line ridiculous) that I have spent so much time crying over my change in plans. I am not sick. No one I know has died from the virus. I am doing ok financially. I am loved and not alone through all this. And my trip is not cancelled, it is simply postponed.
My sorrow feels unjustified.
I feel like I should be forcing myself into feeling grateful that my life is going along fairly normally despite the hardship and chaos the world is currently facing. But in the end, we are all mourning right now. My feelings are not invalid. I am allowed to be sad.
Honestly, we are all in mourning... the cancelling and delays of weddings and graduations, summer fests and baby showers, have affected us all. We are mourning the loss of seeing and having fun with family members and friends. Our jobs have been uprooted, our annual traditions have been broken, and we’re no longer able to travel without fear. We are being hit with a loss of security and freedom like we have never experienced before. So if you are feeling low over any of these things — even something as simple and “insignificant” as a birthday celebration or Friday happy hour — I remind you that it’s perfectly acceptable to feel the way you do. Yes, other people may be experiencing horrible outcomes of the world shutdown, but that does not belittle nor negate your experience.
I have been working toward my Europe excursion for years now, which I’ve wanted to take since I was a little girl. I’ve planned and plotted, bought plane tickets, searched attractions, read up on local hot-spots, made a list of to-do’s in preparation of traveling, and marked my calendar with destination dates. And now all of it will have to be scrapped and redone for next year instead. It’s a massive disappointment. I huge life disruption. And I’m allowed to mourn.
Be sad. Be angry. Be disappointed.
Then when you’re ready, take a deep breath... and prepare for your altered future with fresh hope.
April 18, 2020
COVID-19 Introvert
I’ve always known I was an introvert. But if this COVID-19 shutdown has taught me anything, it has, with 100% surety, made it undeniably, perfectly, almost hilariously clear... that I am deeply, truly an introvert all the way to my core.
I’m so sorry extroverts, that you may be stir-crazy right now, possibly even losing your grip on reality, due to isolation and lack of social stimulation, but I’m doing just fine. Silence suits me. I recently came down to Springfield, MO from Chicago, IL to sit out the rest of the shutdown. But going from weeks of solo living to a bustling household now consisting of three adults and two toddlers is overwhelming to say the least. I love my family. I’m grateful to get to see them and spend this time with them. But it’s going to be a relief when I go home to my books and my art and my tiny space saturated with calm contentment. Realizing just how introverted I am made me start thinking about what it is that sets one person apart from the next. Why is there that difference of personality between extroverts and introverts?
I believe it’s as simple as balance.
Two of my best friends are raging extroverts, and I often laugh feeling like I’m the alley cat they coaxed out from hiding in a shoebox by throwing treats at me until I was comfortable enough with them for them to pick me up and smother me in love and attention. That is, of course, for as long as they can before I freak out, escape their arms, and run back into hiding. I absolutely think I would have a sadder life if it wasn’t for those extroverted friends shooting excitement and adventure into my quiet existence. But I’m also sure that my introverted tendencies have allowed my friends moments of contemplation, re-centering, and peace, (and many good books) that they otherwise would not have had.
So advice to you, from a well-adjusted hermit, on how to get through the rest of the shutdown without further losing your mind. Set times... times for interaction with others (phone calls, video chat, or even a lap around the neighborhood to wave at your neighbors as you stroll by) and times of silence. Commit to the quiet. Sink into it. Meditate even. Think over past experiences and relationships, try to remember what arts, stories, or activities you liked as a child and translate them into adult action. Set a maximum amount of time you can spend scrolling through facebook or glued to Netflix, and when that time is up, stick to it. Open your eyes to the world right here, right now. See the beauty of the moment: the spring flowers about to bloom, the architectural design of the home you live in, the lines of your palm, the color spectrum of your pet’s fur... For a moment each day, let go of the worries of the world and the future, and instead soak up the present. Feel your heart beating, your lungs expanding, your eyes blinking. Reveal in the wonder of your own being. You are beautiful. You are strong. And you will get through this.
I’m so sorry extroverts, that you may be stir-crazy right now, possibly even losing your grip on reality, due to isolation and lack of social stimulation, but I’m doing just fine. Silence suits me. I recently came down to Springfield, MO from Chicago, IL to sit out the rest of the shutdown. But going from weeks of solo living to a bustling household now consisting of three adults and two toddlers is overwhelming to say the least. I love my family. I’m grateful to get to see them and spend this time with them. But it’s going to be a relief when I go home to my books and my art and my tiny space saturated with calm contentment. Realizing just how introverted I am made me start thinking about what it is that sets one person apart from the next. Why is there that difference of personality between extroverts and introverts?
I believe it’s as simple as balance.
Two of my best friends are raging extroverts, and I often laugh feeling like I’m the alley cat they coaxed out from hiding in a shoebox by throwing treats at me until I was comfortable enough with them for them to pick me up and smother me in love and attention. That is, of course, for as long as they can before I freak out, escape their arms, and run back into hiding. I absolutely think I would have a sadder life if it wasn’t for those extroverted friends shooting excitement and adventure into my quiet existence. But I’m also sure that my introverted tendencies have allowed my friends moments of contemplation, re-centering, and peace, (and many good books) that they otherwise would not have had.
So advice to you, from a well-adjusted hermit, on how to get through the rest of the shutdown without further losing your mind. Set times... times for interaction with others (phone calls, video chat, or even a lap around the neighborhood to wave at your neighbors as you stroll by) and times of silence. Commit to the quiet. Sink into it. Meditate even. Think over past experiences and relationships, try to remember what arts, stories, or activities you liked as a child and translate them into adult action. Set a maximum amount of time you can spend scrolling through facebook or glued to Netflix, and when that time is up, stick to it. Open your eyes to the world right here, right now. See the beauty of the moment: the spring flowers about to bloom, the architectural design of the home you live in, the lines of your palm, the color spectrum of your pet’s fur... For a moment each day, let go of the worries of the world and the future, and instead soak up the present. Feel your heart beating, your lungs expanding, your eyes blinking. Reveal in the wonder of your own being. You are beautiful. You are strong. And you will get through this.
