Ruby Fitzgerald's Blog
October 31, 2020
The Female Experience
Let me just begin and end this with one sentence:
Stop teaching our girls to not be victims; instead teach our boys to not be predators.
I thought, at the beginning of Covid, that the pandemic would make people kinder. More patient. That being uncertain and fearful and all hurting for the same reason would make people pull together, form community, have a better underlying feeling of unity and compassion. And for a short while that did happen. We rallied to support small businesses, we did what we could to follow the rules and stay home. We supported the USPS, clapped and chanted for medical works, showed our appreciation for essential workers like grocery store clerks and food delivery people. But then we got tired. We grew fatigued. Angry rather than just frightened. We stopped being kind to each other and instead grew resentful and paranoid.
And the biggest way I’ve seen that come into reality, personally, is in race and gender discrimination of politics.
Politics in 2020 have gone from debate and differences, but ultimately working to better the American existence to a disgusting hodgepodge of sexism, racism, homophobia, bigotry, and self-serving money grabbing. I am a very stereotypical-looking petite young woman... I’ve been assaulted in the past, harassed, followed, drugged, etc, and yet I have walked with confidence around my neighborhood here in Chicago for years. These last months, however, have changed that. I am scared for my safety on a daily bases. I have been called a whore. I have been called the n-word. I have been backed into a corner by a man raging about the evil of the world, the economy, and how women don’t deserve to have jobs. I have been screamed at by anti-maskers, berated for my political beliefs, and dishearten more and more and more with every evil done by our government. The final straw for me being the death of Ruth Bader Ginsberg (a personal idol of mine) and her rushed replacement, Amy Coney Barrett. I am appalled at the retraction of progress we as people, as Americans, have made.
Our daughters are growing up in a world that tells them no. Tells them no over and over again... but that they themselves are not allowed to say no.
Our sons are growing up in a world that tells them that if they hear no, they should ignore it, work around it, change the rules so no means yes, lie, grab, cheat, bully, and fight their way into gaining more, more, more. That no has no consequences.
Don’t believe me? In five minutes flat I thought of the following list of things women do to protect themselves that I’m pretty damn sure men don’t do.
Keeping keys in hand
Not listening to full volume music while jogging/walking
Not going anywhere alone at night
Never leaving a drink unattended
Carrying pepper spray
Not wearing a ponytail at night
Watching reflection in atm
Watching window reflections and shadows for what’s behind while walking
Sitting with back to wall when alone
Getting into your car and locking the door even if just to get something you forgot
Purse across chest rather than over shoulder
Double locking doors
Not using first name on packages/deliveries
Never walking by a van
Parking under lights
Sending address to a friend of where a date is located
Staying on a phone call while in an Uber/taxi
Lying about where you’re going to your driver
Lying about having a significant other
Getting off an elevator on the wrong floor intentionally and then walking to the correct floor
Checking every room/closet of a hotel before settling in
Carrying a whistle
Pulling a door closed after entering rather than letting it swing closed
Giving extra space on sidewalk if crossing in front of alley/door/apartment entry
Wrapping purse around arm/leg while seated
Drug sensitive nail polish
Always knowing what nearby could be used as a weapon
Always knowing where exits are
Never getting in an elevator with just a man/men
Going to the rest room/clubs/bars in groups
Never letting a man hand you a drink
I repeat... this world gets scarier by the day, when we should be making it safer as a whole, on every level. We have a unique opportunity right now and we’re blowing it. We should pulling together. We should be sharing our fears and concerns with one another. Making our future brighter. Fighting Covid together. Fighting inequalities together. Not recessing. Not making the divisions between race and gender and sexual orientation and religion deeper and more full of resentment.
We need to stop teaching our youth to not be victims and instead teach our politicians, our parents, and our role models to not be predators.
We are in this together. And we need to start acting like it.
Stop teaching our girls to not be victims; instead teach our boys to not be predators.
I thought, at the beginning of Covid, that the pandemic would make people kinder. More patient. That being uncertain and fearful and all hurting for the same reason would make people pull together, form community, have a better underlying feeling of unity and compassion. And for a short while that did happen. We rallied to support small businesses, we did what we could to follow the rules and stay home. We supported the USPS, clapped and chanted for medical works, showed our appreciation for essential workers like grocery store clerks and food delivery people. But then we got tired. We grew fatigued. Angry rather than just frightened. We stopped being kind to each other and instead grew resentful and paranoid.
And the biggest way I’ve seen that come into reality, personally, is in race and gender discrimination of politics.
Politics in 2020 have gone from debate and differences, but ultimately working to better the American existence to a disgusting hodgepodge of sexism, racism, homophobia, bigotry, and self-serving money grabbing. I am a very stereotypical-looking petite young woman... I’ve been assaulted in the past, harassed, followed, drugged, etc, and yet I have walked with confidence around my neighborhood here in Chicago for years. These last months, however, have changed that. I am scared for my safety on a daily bases. I have been called a whore. I have been called the n-word. I have been backed into a corner by a man raging about the evil of the world, the economy, and how women don’t deserve to have jobs. I have been screamed at by anti-maskers, berated for my political beliefs, and dishearten more and more and more with every evil done by our government. The final straw for me being the death of Ruth Bader Ginsberg (a personal idol of mine) and her rushed replacement, Amy Coney Barrett. I am appalled at the retraction of progress we as people, as Americans, have made.
Our daughters are growing up in a world that tells them no. Tells them no over and over again... but that they themselves are not allowed to say no.
Our sons are growing up in a world that tells them that if they hear no, they should ignore it, work around it, change the rules so no means yes, lie, grab, cheat, bully, and fight their way into gaining more, more, more. That no has no consequences.
Don’t believe me? In five minutes flat I thought of the following list of things women do to protect themselves that I’m pretty damn sure men don’t do.
Keeping keys in hand
Not listening to full volume music while jogging/walking
Not going anywhere alone at night
Never leaving a drink unattended
Carrying pepper spray
Not wearing a ponytail at night
Watching reflection in atm
Watching window reflections and shadows for what’s behind while walking
Sitting with back to wall when alone
Getting into your car and locking the door even if just to get something you forgot
Purse across chest rather than over shoulder
Double locking doors
Not using first name on packages/deliveries
Never walking by a van
Parking under lights
Sending address to a friend of where a date is located
Staying on a phone call while in an Uber/taxi
Lying about where you’re going to your driver
Lying about having a significant other
Getting off an elevator on the wrong floor intentionally and then walking to the correct floor
Checking every room/closet of a hotel before settling in
Carrying a whistle
Pulling a door closed after entering rather than letting it swing closed
Giving extra space on sidewalk if crossing in front of alley/door/apartment entry
Wrapping purse around arm/leg while seated
Drug sensitive nail polish
Always knowing what nearby could be used as a weapon
Always knowing where exits are
Never getting in an elevator with just a man/men
Going to the rest room/clubs/bars in groups
Never letting a man hand you a drink
I repeat... this world gets scarier by the day, when we should be making it safer as a whole, on every level. We have a unique opportunity right now and we’re blowing it. We should pulling together. We should be sharing our fears and concerns with one another. Making our future brighter. Fighting Covid together. Fighting inequalities together. Not recessing. Not making the divisions between race and gender and sexual orientation and religion deeper and more full of resentment.
We need to stop teaching our youth to not be victims and instead teach our politicians, our parents, and our role models to not be predators.
We are in this together. And we need to start acting like it.
October 10, 2020
At First, it was Unintentional
Over the years I have struggled with anxiety and depression, an eating disorder, maladaptive daydreaming, and self harm. For a long time I thought I’d never be “normal” or happy. I thought that I was incapable of having healthy relationships and/or a successful, satisfying life. But through hard work, vicious ups and down, persistent hope, lots of support, and plain-and-simple stubbornness I have healed many of my old wounds and learned to live to the best of my ability with the details about myself, my personality, my mind, that cannot be changed.
At first, when I was writing my books, the less-than-ideal personality traits I gave to my characters were unintentional. I wrote in their mental and emotional issues subconsciously. I projected onto these fantastical, powerful, mysterious, epic (made-up) people a lot of the issues I have dealt with. I accidentally made them highly relatable. Realistic even though they were imaginary. Flawed even though they were the rulers and warriors of an extravagant world. It took a long time for me to realize what I’d done... but once my eyes had been opened to it, I didn’t shy away from writing in more. I ran full speed ahead.
I put in traits of codependency, bipolar disorder, separation anxiety, PTSD, alcoholism, narcissism, explosive disorder, compulsive behavior, dissociative disorder, and more. Because I intended for anyone - everyone - reading my books to get lost in the grand, magical story, and yet still feel attached to the characters... to still feel a relatability to their troubles. I wanted readers to know that even the greatest and mightiest of people can have struggles, demons, set-backs, and short-comings.
You are capable of happiness. Capable of love. Capable of triumph. Even if you have much to overcome.
At first, when I was writing my books, the less-than-ideal personality traits I gave to my characters were unintentional. I wrote in their mental and emotional issues subconsciously. I projected onto these fantastical, powerful, mysterious, epic (made-up) people a lot of the issues I have dealt with. I accidentally made them highly relatable. Realistic even though they were imaginary. Flawed even though they were the rulers and warriors of an extravagant world. It took a long time for me to realize what I’d done... but once my eyes had been opened to it, I didn’t shy away from writing in more. I ran full speed ahead.
I put in traits of codependency, bipolar disorder, separation anxiety, PTSD, alcoholism, narcissism, explosive disorder, compulsive behavior, dissociative disorder, and more. Because I intended for anyone - everyone - reading my books to get lost in the grand, magical story, and yet still feel attached to the characters... to still feel a relatability to their troubles. I wanted readers to know that even the greatest and mightiest of people can have struggles, demons, set-backs, and short-comings.
You are capable of happiness. Capable of love. Capable of triumph. Even if you have much to overcome.
October 3, 2020
A Better Life
Fear is easy.
It is easy to let worry consume us. To let fear tear us down. To let hopelessness dissolve our energy. It is hard to be brave, to be optimistic, to be bold in both speech and action.
So if today is a day that fear wins, that you curl up beneath your blankets, turn off the news and close the blinds, I understand. I understand that you cannot be strong every day. You can’t win every battle... and sometimes you simply don’t have the wherewithal to even start some battles.
But we cannot allow ourselves to act in that matter every day. Some days, most days (ideally) we must force our eyes open. We must face the wrong, the unjust, the evil, the stressful, and we make our voices heard. We vote. We speak up. We protest. We argue. We compromise. We educate. We take steps, no matter how small, time and time again, toward a better life and a better world.
If today is a day to spend in silence, in sorrow, I understand. But then find your power again tomorrow. Be brave tomorrow. This is your life. Our world. And there is only one of each.
Black Lives Matter.
Science is Real.
Love is Love.
Women’s Rights are Human Rights.
No Life is Illegal.
Mental Health Matters.
And most of all... we are All In This Together. Hate cannot be a part of communication, a part of community. Or a part of the future.
It is easy to let worry consume us. To let fear tear us down. To let hopelessness dissolve our energy. It is hard to be brave, to be optimistic, to be bold in both speech and action.
So if today is a day that fear wins, that you curl up beneath your blankets, turn off the news and close the blinds, I understand. I understand that you cannot be strong every day. You can’t win every battle... and sometimes you simply don’t have the wherewithal to even start some battles.
But we cannot allow ourselves to act in that matter every day. Some days, most days (ideally) we must force our eyes open. We must face the wrong, the unjust, the evil, the stressful, and we make our voices heard. We vote. We speak up. We protest. We argue. We compromise. We educate. We take steps, no matter how small, time and time again, toward a better life and a better world.
If today is a day to spend in silence, in sorrow, I understand. But then find your power again tomorrow. Be brave tomorrow. This is your life. Our world. And there is only one of each.
Black Lives Matter.
Science is Real.
Love is Love.
Women’s Rights are Human Rights.
No Life is Illegal.
Mental Health Matters.
And most of all... we are All In This Together. Hate cannot be a part of communication, a part of community. Or a part of the future.
September 26, 2020
When There Are Nine
As much as I try to avoid making political posts, the passing of Ruth Bader Ginsburg is something I must comment on.
RBG was my one and only political role model. She’s a meaningful icon. An inspiration. And her death is poignant to say the least. Most the time I find politicians to have a lot of bad qualities, act and speak with dishonesty, and would make for terrible role models. Ruth Bader Ginsberg, however, who has had political power and influence in one form or another for as long as I can remember has been someone that I aspire to be like…
I cried when I heard the news of her passing. Knee-jerk reaction made me yell, “NO!” in the middle of the sidewalk in a busy neighborhood, staring down at my phone at a text message that said, “RBG has passed away.”
She has done so much for women’s rights. She’s done so much for human rights. She has done so much to make this country more fair. More honest. More livable for every single person who resides within our borders. She was bold; she was brave; she was stubborn. Smart, educated, articulate, well-versed in all aspects of our government. And she served with unending, unyielding dedication. She is the type of person I aspire to be and yet know that I will never come anywhere near being… I will never be even a fraction as influential, persuasive, and inspiring as she was throughout her life and career. She was a force to be reckoned with. A tiny woman with a powerful mind. She believed that men and women were equals, and because of that she used the laws to make my life a more fair and enjoyable thing. She believed in the future of this country and that we as individuals should be given equal opportunity to achieved greatness. She believed in love and justice, hope and humanity.
For so so so so many reasons, both personal and political, I am pained at her passing. This country has taken a great loss. But more than anything, I am saddened to my soul that there is one less spark of tenacity and fire in this country. That there is one fewer lantern to light the way toward our future. So for today’s post, in honor of the notorious RBG, I want to say:
Raise your voice.
Educate others with veracity.
Demand to be heard.
And never give up hope.
We can not squander the future RBG worked so incredibly hard to secure for ALL of us.
RBG was my one and only political role model. She’s a meaningful icon. An inspiration. And her death is poignant to say the least. Most the time I find politicians to have a lot of bad qualities, act and speak with dishonesty, and would make for terrible role models. Ruth Bader Ginsberg, however, who has had political power and influence in one form or another for as long as I can remember has been someone that I aspire to be like…
I cried when I heard the news of her passing. Knee-jerk reaction made me yell, “NO!” in the middle of the sidewalk in a busy neighborhood, staring down at my phone at a text message that said, “RBG has passed away.”
She has done so much for women’s rights. She’s done so much for human rights. She has done so much to make this country more fair. More honest. More livable for every single person who resides within our borders. She was bold; she was brave; she was stubborn. Smart, educated, articulate, well-versed in all aspects of our government. And she served with unending, unyielding dedication. She is the type of person I aspire to be and yet know that I will never come anywhere near being… I will never be even a fraction as influential, persuasive, and inspiring as she was throughout her life and career. She was a force to be reckoned with. A tiny woman with a powerful mind. She believed that men and women were equals, and because of that she used the laws to make my life a more fair and enjoyable thing. She believed in the future of this country and that we as individuals should be given equal opportunity to achieved greatness. She believed in love and justice, hope and humanity.
For so so so so many reasons, both personal and political, I am pained at her passing. This country has taken a great loss. But more than anything, I am saddened to my soul that there is one less spark of tenacity and fire in this country. That there is one fewer lantern to light the way toward our future. So for today’s post, in honor of the notorious RBG, I want to say:
Raise your voice.
Educate others with veracity.
Demand to be heard.
And never give up hope.
We can not squander the future RBG worked so incredibly hard to secure for ALL of us.
September 12, 2020
The Winter Ahead
Is living in fear of COVID the new normal? Are we ever going to return to a less anxious state of mind? Is fall/winter going to bring a decrease in cases or an increase? Will the city shut down again into quarantine since we haven’t gotten the numbers under control?
These are the worries I have. Constantly. Especially now with the shifting weather ushering in rainy, gray days.
I have struggled with seasonal depression for as long as I can remember. The disappearance of the sun truly takes a toll on my overall mental health. But somehow, this year, the gray just seems so much more ominous. It brings a sense of dread, not just gloom. It brings a feeling of hopelessness, not just fatigue. Which is why I wanted to share this post with you today... a plea. A request for support.
I ask that you find patience in your heart to wearing your mask and social distancing even though we’re all so damn tired of it. I ask that you treat your cashiers and bartenders with an extra level of gratitude and kindness. I ask that you, if able, put on a brave face about the future so that those of us who are feeling painfully pessimistic might have a moment of reprieve from the fears in our minds. I ask that you vote— vote with intention and love and compassion. I ask that you remind yourself daily that it’s not you against the world, it’s all of us together. And that if the world is going to go courageously, successfully into the future— we all must work together.
We are humankind, together, desperately holding onto hope for the future. Don’t forget that. Don’t abandon that. And most of all, if your demons have gotten the best of you... ask for help. There is light and hope and bravery yet to be had.
These are the worries I have. Constantly. Especially now with the shifting weather ushering in rainy, gray days.
I have struggled with seasonal depression for as long as I can remember. The disappearance of the sun truly takes a toll on my overall mental health. But somehow, this year, the gray just seems so much more ominous. It brings a sense of dread, not just gloom. It brings a feeling of hopelessness, not just fatigue. Which is why I wanted to share this post with you today... a plea. A request for support.
I ask that you find patience in your heart to wearing your mask and social distancing even though we’re all so damn tired of it. I ask that you treat your cashiers and bartenders with an extra level of gratitude and kindness. I ask that you, if able, put on a brave face about the future so that those of us who are feeling painfully pessimistic might have a moment of reprieve from the fears in our minds. I ask that you vote— vote with intention and love and compassion. I ask that you remind yourself daily that it’s not you against the world, it’s all of us together. And that if the world is going to go courageously, successfully into the future— we all must work together.
We are humankind, together, desperately holding onto hope for the future. Don’t forget that. Don’t abandon that. And most of all, if your demons have gotten the best of you... ask for help. There is light and hope and bravery yet to be had.
August 22, 2020
The Smallest of Actions
I washed by hair yesterday.
Now, some of you who just read that sentence have your brow furrowed in confusion, thinking “So what?” But I’m betting others of you understand the significance of the statement. Some of you just had your heart surge and your eyebrows raise—wishing you felt good enough to do the same.
I washed my hair.
I washed my hair not because it was gross, or had been far too long since its last washing... I washed it simply because I wanted to. I even did a scalp treatment. And sang in the shower. I felt happy. Relaxed. I had the time and the energy and so I took care of myself. I don’t think that’s happened in probably 5+ years. Washing my hair has always been a chore, a task, a drag. Something I avoid and don’t want to deal with... a necessity that grows exponentially more daunting the less mentally stable I am.
Some people, when riddled with anxiety or sunk deep into depression, find it hard to get motivated to wash dishes, put away clothes, get dressed, etc... for me, it’s washing my hair. I think it’s often forgotten that every detail of a life can be affected by a mental illness... including causing even the simplest, smallest actions to be stolen away.
When that basic-life energy is gone, it’s so discouraging. It’s so heartbreaking. It hurts. So I wanted to share my (seemingly insignificant and yet incredibly revealing of my mental health status) act of self care with you today. To remind you to appreciate even the tiniest of triumphs. To be accepting and understanding of your challenges. And to be kind to yourself on your journey to wellness. Healing takes time.
It’s ok if you get healthy one hair washing at a time.
Now, some of you who just read that sentence have your brow furrowed in confusion, thinking “So what?” But I’m betting others of you understand the significance of the statement. Some of you just had your heart surge and your eyebrows raise—wishing you felt good enough to do the same.
I washed my hair.
I washed my hair not because it was gross, or had been far too long since its last washing... I washed it simply because I wanted to. I even did a scalp treatment. And sang in the shower. I felt happy. Relaxed. I had the time and the energy and so I took care of myself. I don’t think that’s happened in probably 5+ years. Washing my hair has always been a chore, a task, a drag. Something I avoid and don’t want to deal with... a necessity that grows exponentially more daunting the less mentally stable I am.
Some people, when riddled with anxiety or sunk deep into depression, find it hard to get motivated to wash dishes, put away clothes, get dressed, etc... for me, it’s washing my hair. I think it’s often forgotten that every detail of a life can be affected by a mental illness... including causing even the simplest, smallest actions to be stolen away.
When that basic-life energy is gone, it’s so discouraging. It’s so heartbreaking. It hurts. So I wanted to share my (seemingly insignificant and yet incredibly revealing of my mental health status) act of self care with you today. To remind you to appreciate even the tiniest of triumphs. To be accepting and understanding of your challenges. And to be kind to yourself on your journey to wellness. Healing takes time.
It’s ok if you get healthy one hair washing at a time.
August 8, 2020
Wanderlust at Home
What makes you fall in love with a city? With a house? With a neighborhood? What’s the difference - key differences - between simply living somewhere and actually feeling like you belong there?
I’ve moved A LOT in my life. Multiple cities/states and many, many apartments... so maybe that’s why my sense of ‘home’ is a rather elusive thing. Chicago does actually feel very much like home to me: the vibe of the people is great, I love the lake, there’s always something to do, the seasons are beautiful... but I’m still feeling like maybe it’s time to head elsewhere. And, even with the city itself feeling home-like, I have zero attachment to Illinois and zero attachment to any particular residence. I mean, I’m apartment searching right now, and I’m a little sad about leaving this cute, sunny spot I’ve been in the last few years. But between the constant construction going on in my building and the affects of COVID-19 on the area, I’m really ok with moving someplace else. Maybe I’ll stay in Chicago another few months - a year or two more even - but after that...? I really can see myself headed elsewhere.
Why though? Why am I totally ok with the idea of leaving someplace that I’ve called ‘home’ for nearing a decade now? Or why doesn’t my childhood area feel like home? Why am I willing to uproot myself and take a stab at making an unknown location my new home? I don’t have answers, just wonderings.
I know that home to me is mostly just where I can safely and quietly be left to my thoughts and my writing, soak up some sun, tend to my plants, and rest my head at night... and that I could do that pretty much in any house/apartment in the world. So really truly, I ask of you... why does one place, one location, one residence end up feeling more like home than another to us? And in contrast, what am I feeling (or missing in feeling) that I’m ready to pack up and move on?
Is it simply just wanderlust? Or have I just not found the right place yet?
I’ve moved A LOT in my life. Multiple cities/states and many, many apartments... so maybe that’s why my sense of ‘home’ is a rather elusive thing. Chicago does actually feel very much like home to me: the vibe of the people is great, I love the lake, there’s always something to do, the seasons are beautiful... but I’m still feeling like maybe it’s time to head elsewhere. And, even with the city itself feeling home-like, I have zero attachment to Illinois and zero attachment to any particular residence. I mean, I’m apartment searching right now, and I’m a little sad about leaving this cute, sunny spot I’ve been in the last few years. But between the constant construction going on in my building and the affects of COVID-19 on the area, I’m really ok with moving someplace else. Maybe I’ll stay in Chicago another few months - a year or two more even - but after that...? I really can see myself headed elsewhere.
Why though? Why am I totally ok with the idea of leaving someplace that I’ve called ‘home’ for nearing a decade now? Or why doesn’t my childhood area feel like home? Why am I willing to uproot myself and take a stab at making an unknown location my new home? I don’t have answers, just wonderings.
I know that home to me is mostly just where I can safely and quietly be left to my thoughts and my writing, soak up some sun, tend to my plants, and rest my head at night... and that I could do that pretty much in any house/apartment in the world. So really truly, I ask of you... why does one place, one location, one residence end up feeling more like home than another to us? And in contrast, what am I feeling (or missing in feeling) that I’m ready to pack up and move on?
Is it simply just wanderlust? Or have I just not found the right place yet?
August 1, 2020
Changing Times
Well, happy August. The year is now officially more than half over. But boy oh boy does it feel like 2020 has been going on for so much longer than just these last months.
We’ve faced disease threats, including an ongoing pandemic that put us into quarantine. Animal threats of murder hornets, blue dragons, squirrels with bubonic plague, and swarming monkeys and locust. Political threats both foreign and domestic. And now we’re coming into a new age of social justice because of protests and riots. Times are tough. Are scary. Are unprecedented. The future seems uncertain.
But what I appreciate about the terrifying, anxiety-inducing, mind-blowing situation we’re all in right now, is that conversation and education is FINALLY at the forefront of everyone’s minds. We’re bickering and fighting and there’s a lot of dumb things being said and done. But at least we’re being active in our own lives, and demanding to be a part of our country’s management.
We are voting.
We are donating.
We are signing petitions.
We are protesting.
We are educating.
We are doing what’s right for others, rather than being self-serving.
We are showing up.
Raising our voices.
Telling our truths.
Not everyone is a part of this vibe— enlightenment, movement, consciousness, power—that I feel in the underbelly of everything going on right now. I know some people are blind, unwilling to see, to change, to climb out from inside their dark hole of ignorance, but the rest of us? The rest of us have seen the light of change and want it to stay, will do whatever it takes to make it burn brighter.
To those of you raising your fists in the face of brutality, giving your money even when job security is a non-existent thing, having tough conversations with people who don’t necessarily want to listen, working tirelessly to save lives in the midst of a mishandled pandemic... to those of you crying, worrying, fighting for life. For those of you who refuse to ever forget the names of George Floyd and Breonna Taylor. For those of you wearing a mask despite being called fool by your family. For those of you waving a rainbow flag even though your ears have been filled with hateful words.... Keep your chin up. This is a fight YOU WILL WIN.
We’ve faced disease threats, including an ongoing pandemic that put us into quarantine. Animal threats of murder hornets, blue dragons, squirrels with bubonic plague, and swarming monkeys and locust. Political threats both foreign and domestic. And now we’re coming into a new age of social justice because of protests and riots. Times are tough. Are scary. Are unprecedented. The future seems uncertain.
But what I appreciate about the terrifying, anxiety-inducing, mind-blowing situation we’re all in right now, is that conversation and education is FINALLY at the forefront of everyone’s minds. We’re bickering and fighting and there’s a lot of dumb things being said and done. But at least we’re being active in our own lives, and demanding to be a part of our country’s management.
We are voting.
We are donating.
We are signing petitions.
We are protesting.
We are educating.
We are doing what’s right for others, rather than being self-serving.
We are showing up.
Raising our voices.
Telling our truths.
Not everyone is a part of this vibe— enlightenment, movement, consciousness, power—that I feel in the underbelly of everything going on right now. I know some people are blind, unwilling to see, to change, to climb out from inside their dark hole of ignorance, but the rest of us? The rest of us have seen the light of change and want it to stay, will do whatever it takes to make it burn brighter.
To those of you raising your fists in the face of brutality, giving your money even when job security is a non-existent thing, having tough conversations with people who don’t necessarily want to listen, working tirelessly to save lives in the midst of a mishandled pandemic... to those of you crying, worrying, fighting for life. For those of you who refuse to ever forget the names of George Floyd and Breonna Taylor. For those of you wearing a mask despite being called fool by your family. For those of you waving a rainbow flag even though your ears have been filled with hateful words.... Keep your chin up. This is a fight YOU WILL WIN.
July 25, 2020
Have a Heart - Wear a Mask
It makes me sad that I have to say this but wearing a mask isn’t political, it’s simply an act of empathy. It’s not about you - about what you believe in, who you vote for, or what science you think is real or not - it’s about being compassionate. It simply is a matter of caring about the people around you.
If there’s even the tiniest little chance, the most slimmest smallest tiniest percentage of some chance, that you could make someone sick, or could kill someone by breathing/coughing, and you don’t wear a mask... I ask you what’s happened to your heart? If you are willing to donate to charity, give a homeless person some food, stop your car for someone to cross the street, or even hold open a door for someone walking behind you into a store... you have enough heart to do something that has no benefit to you, for the benefit of someone else. And in non life-threatening way no less! So why not wear a mask? Inconvenience yourself a small amount, for the potential betterment of a fellow human?
With COVID numbers on the rise, some restrictions have gone back into place here in Chicago. It’s sad. It’s discouraging. But, I still believe Chicago as a whole has been doing a decent job at keeping the pandemic under control. Even with being out and about the little bit that I have, I feel like most people are making an effort to wear masks and follow social distancing. Most people are showing that they care. That they have empathy and understanding. And, if we can continue to follow guidelines (as annoying and tedious as they may seem, especially now in the summer heat) we can help save lives and hopefully return to some sort of normalcy in the near future. Because this is a time we really need to show love for one another and sacrifice a bit of comfort for the greater good of our community. We need to be deeply in touch with our humanity.
We can still enjoy a beer at the bar or a nice dinner with our significant other, life hasn’t ended—we just need to continue being responsible, for the sake of everyone around us. Now, more than ever, we need to show love and compassion for not just those we know, but for everyone we might affect.
We are all in this together.
Wear your mask.
If there’s even the tiniest little chance, the most slimmest smallest tiniest percentage of some chance, that you could make someone sick, or could kill someone by breathing/coughing, and you don’t wear a mask... I ask you what’s happened to your heart? If you are willing to donate to charity, give a homeless person some food, stop your car for someone to cross the street, or even hold open a door for someone walking behind you into a store... you have enough heart to do something that has no benefit to you, for the benefit of someone else. And in non life-threatening way no less! So why not wear a mask? Inconvenience yourself a small amount, for the potential betterment of a fellow human?
With COVID numbers on the rise, some restrictions have gone back into place here in Chicago. It’s sad. It’s discouraging. But, I still believe Chicago as a whole has been doing a decent job at keeping the pandemic under control. Even with being out and about the little bit that I have, I feel like most people are making an effort to wear masks and follow social distancing. Most people are showing that they care. That they have empathy and understanding. And, if we can continue to follow guidelines (as annoying and tedious as they may seem, especially now in the summer heat) we can help save lives and hopefully return to some sort of normalcy in the near future. Because this is a time we really need to show love for one another and sacrifice a bit of comfort for the greater good of our community. We need to be deeply in touch with our humanity.
We can still enjoy a beer at the bar or a nice dinner with our significant other, life hasn’t ended—we just need to continue being responsible, for the sake of everyone around us. Now, more than ever, we need to show love and compassion for not just those we know, but for everyone we might affect.
We are all in this together.
Wear your mask.
July 18, 2020
Travel in the Age of COVID-19
I have been in a massive debate for months because of COVID-19 about whether or not I should take my trip out to the west coast to see my family for my momma’s 60th birthday. My Europe trip has been canceled, I didn’t go on my NOLA trip, and traveling in general is highly discouraged right now... But this trip was a big deal: a surprise the family had been planning since last fall.
So. I went. Maybe I shouldn’t have, but I did.
I wore my mask and gloves, and flew Delta (which has already gotten a reputation for being pretty on top of things in terms of spacing out seating and thoroughly sanitizing). And I actually was pleasantly surprised that people were following the rules, being conscientious, staying 6-feet apart, and generally displaying more cordiality and calmness than I would have expected at any time - let alone in the age of COVID!
The surprise went wonderfully. The weather was amazing. Time with my family in a beautiful part of the country was lovely. But there was a tense layer - a stressed vibe - to the whole trip. Fear. Fear of getting sick, and fear of spreading the sickness. News reports. Wondering if I was going to be able to get back to Chicago with ease or if I was going to have to sit in quarantine. Arguments about face masks. Disagreements about current political unrest. Uncomfortable conversations about education, the future, and the wellness of the world.
Nothing is easy or simple right now. Everyone is on edge. The world is changing. However, I say, let change happen. Be a part of it. Sink into the discomfort and figure things out. Think things through. Have those difficult conversations. Stand up for others. Believe in the future, in science, in humanity. And maybe, we’ll come out the other side of these crazy times a better, more informed, kinder, more understanding people.
So. I went. Maybe I shouldn’t have, but I did.
I wore my mask and gloves, and flew Delta (which has already gotten a reputation for being pretty on top of things in terms of spacing out seating and thoroughly sanitizing). And I actually was pleasantly surprised that people were following the rules, being conscientious, staying 6-feet apart, and generally displaying more cordiality and calmness than I would have expected at any time - let alone in the age of COVID!
The surprise went wonderfully. The weather was amazing. Time with my family in a beautiful part of the country was lovely. But there was a tense layer - a stressed vibe - to the whole trip. Fear. Fear of getting sick, and fear of spreading the sickness. News reports. Wondering if I was going to be able to get back to Chicago with ease or if I was going to have to sit in quarantine. Arguments about face masks. Disagreements about current political unrest. Uncomfortable conversations about education, the future, and the wellness of the world.
Nothing is easy or simple right now. Everyone is on edge. The world is changing. However, I say, let change happen. Be a part of it. Sink into the discomfort and figure things out. Think things through. Have those difficult conversations. Stand up for others. Believe in the future, in science, in humanity. And maybe, we’ll come out the other side of these crazy times a better, more informed, kinder, more understanding people.
