Daley Downing's Blog, page 21

Drawing the Line: Internet Life and Real Life

Has anybody else noticed this sort of odd thing about online life, where we don’t actually spend in-person time with all these other screen names, that are in fact also real people…and yet, we feel that some of them know us better than the humans we see face to face every day?

On the other side of the coin, we’re in this interesting paradox of wanting to share most of the parts of our “real” lives with our online friends…and sometimes we can’t.

For example, the week of Thanksgiving my family experienced a very surprising and unpleasant twist, and while it was (thankfully) resolved quickly, at the time it was going on, I was dying inside, and really wanted to be able to get stuff off my chest — but because there are now legal issues involved in it, I wasn’t sure just how much I could or should say.

And what makes such a situation even more frustrating is the fact that often I rely on the people I know either only online or that I know in person but live far away from me for support and advice.

Not that I don’t trust the people in my everyday life. But my relationship with them, or their sphere of influence, can be limited when it comes to certain circumstances. You wouldn’t go to the local librarian with your legal concerns. Or reveal details that directly affect someone else’s privacy. (Well, some folks would, but definitely not me.) So, if it means putting some slightly delicate matter on private pages in social media, to get some much-needed suggestions from people that I know have the information or resources I’m after — and also that I trust not to overly share with the random population — then I will do just that.

But again, it’s tough, because while we feel close to specific individuals we’ve had consistent contact with through various online platforms, we do have to face the reality: How well do we actually know someone we’ve never met in the flesh?

And when the situation involves a loved one who may not want all of their deepest darkest secrets splashed across our own Facebook or Twitter, we really should respect that.

But when we need help, and we aren’t getting anywhere in our in-person lives, being able to turn on a computer or a phone, type in a few lines, and within possibly minutes get potentially a multitude of replies that tell us exactly what to do next, this can be invaluable.

If we get the desired outcome, does it really matter which route we take?

All the naysayers of the early 21st century who claimed that the internet would drive people farther apart really don’t have it right in this regard.

With a few keystrokes, I can be making direct contact with people half a country or half the globe away. And it makes our lives richer. I can increase my knowledge of different places and occupations and lifestyles without needing to spend a bunch of money I don’t have to travel long distances.

I can find a community of like-minded individuals who share my taste in books, movies, TV, and music, and become part of something bigger than myself. It can be isolating when you’re one of about 6 total geeks in your small town. But after half an hour online, discussing who’s your favorite Doctor and whether you’d choose to fight Daleks or Cybermen, I don’t feel alone.

And sometimes, that matters more than the deep, dark stuff.

So, I decided where to draw the line based on the feelings of other people involved in a complex event, but I don’t regret for a minute revealing what I did to get the help and support I needed. And honestly, I don’t know if I would’ve gotten through without all the people online praying for us and encouraging me forward — no prying, no judging.

In the near future, I’m really hoping I can share more overtly regarding this particular matter, since I think it would be beneficial to other families to explain some of what I learned by being put in a situation I never thought I would. There are still some issues to review and see what occurs next. But I know that whenever I choose to open up, about whatever, there will be plenty of other screen names who I’ve never been in the same room with that totally have my back.

And that, blessedly, crosses every line.

The Future of My Reading Habits

So recently, I explained my decision to leave Goodreads as a user. This meant that my reviewer and reader account was closed and removed from the site, and although my published works remain there, I won’t be making any personal comments or updates anymore.

I went into the details in “Explaining My Recent Decision to Leave Goodreads” (sorry, it’s been a big week and I’m too lazy right now to attach a link), but it also relates very strongly to my post a few months ago, “It’s Time to Stop Being So Neurotic About Goodreads.”

Even before I reached the point of feeling completely overwhelmed by the toxicity of some of the reviewers, I was beginning to lose it when it came to GR. The way the site seems to turn reading into a competition just becomes suffocating.

Before I joined GR, my TBR was anywhere from 1-10 books at any given time, and this changed frequently depending on what else was going on in my life.

For example, if it had just been Christmas or my birthday, and I’d bought a bunch of new books, those came to the top of the list.

If I’d checked a bunch out from the library all at once, those came first.

If things had just gone bat guano crazy (like this week did), then my reading material would definitely be limited to either a trusted and beloved re-read (for comfort, and that I could pick up in small chunks), or nothing at all for a few days.

After I joined GR, my TBR swelled to as many as 60 titles I hoped to read in the next several months. I’m aware this seems like nothing to the folks who regularly have at least 100 books on their TBR, and find themselves constantly adding to it. But for me — a mom to special needs kids, who’s trying to work from an already-busy home — anything upwards of 20 feels stifling.

And I was starting to lose the joy of reading. I’d frantically run to the library every week, to grab all the hot new releases before anyone else did, so that I could read them and review them as quickly as possible. Even if I hated them. Even if I DNF’ed them. Even if I was only reading them because 1,000 other people on Goodreads were.

That’s where the stress came in. Almost all the excitement of picking up a brand new title was being sucked out of my soul. The thrill of being able to add higher numbers to my “finished” list was providing more emotional juice than the wonderful story I’d just absorbed.

Especially since it often wasn’t wonderful. In the past 16 months, I read a LOT of books I never had before, and I have to say, probably 80% of the time, I was disappointed.

There were also some really awesome finds, including fellow indie authors, and titles in genres I’d usually shy away from. And I learned a TON about myself as a reader, and this is important. I learned what I really can’t stand, what I’m okay giving a try, and where I need to draw the line.

I have decided I do not care what my friends are reading, how fast they’re finishing, or how many books they complete in a year. I support their life goals, and if they’re happy, then I’m happy for them.

My personal reading goals will be much different from now on.

I’m not one for making New Year’s resolutions, but these circumstances called for it.

So, here are my priorities for reading starting now:

It will be fun. As soon as a new title (borrowed, bought, discovered in a rubbish pile) stops being enjoyable, I will put it down and not pressure myself to keep going.

It will fit into time I already have. Usually in the evenings, there isn’t much on TV that I’m interested in, so after Jeopardy! I crack open a book. This is also a good way to wind down at the end of the day, and relax. Since I generally need some time to focus on something that is not children or everyday-life-related before I attempt to settle down enough for sleeping, spending an hour or so diving into Maggie Stiefvater or Warriors or Beaumont and Beasley easily accomplishes this.

I’d found myself devoting massive chunks of time (when I could have been doing something else) to 500-page books that I wanted to finish only to be able to say I finished it. Not recommended.

I will not force myself to plow through genres/authors/content I find objectionable or just plain tedious. Everybody has different tastes, and that’s why there are so many options out there for readers. There’s nothing wrong with my preferring certain subjects and genres, styles and levels of content. So what if it means I’m much more likely to choose a MG or YA fiction, when I’m an adult?

I will not have a set time limit, nor a goal for how many books I’ll read in x amount of days. Part of the stress of feeling like your TBR is going to crush you if you don’t get through, say, half of it before 2020, is the sensed impending doom of that deadline. The fact is, the world will not end if I only read 15 books in 12 months, or if I only add 8 more to my TBR.

All of this combined should mean that I keep my sanity, and my love for reading as a hobby, and as a writer. After all, that’s what it’s really about.

New Discussion: Who is YA For?

Note: I’ve chosen to feature the original art of Maggie Stiefvater in this post. Please remember to give all the credit for these gorgeous pieces to her.

Extra note: Why Maggie Stiefvater? Other than she’s one of my favorite authors? Well, the fact that she was part of the catalyst of this discussion that started on Twitter a couple of weeks ago. I’ve been thinking about what she and others said, and about the post that really got the ball rolling on this topic.

So, here’s an interesting question: Who is Young Adult fiction actually for? It may seem like a “duh, Captain Obvious” answer — Young Adult fiction is for those under 21 — but the data behind sales, library checkouts, and online reviews proves, no, it isn’t.

The majority of readers of the labeled (and marketed) YA genre in the 21st century are women ages 18 to 45. That’s right. Women with children of their own. And yet…most of us wouldn’t necessarily recommend most YA titles to our adolescents.

Once upon a time, there was something called “New Adult,” a genre that targeted women readers approximately 19 to 30, people who were just starting out on being financially independent, having to manage an apartment or house, an exclusive relationship, and just being a grown-up. “What a great idea!” so many of us currently in that stage of life exclaimed (myself included, as then a new wife and mother). I enjoyed some of those books, sometimes a lot. When you’re about 25, most of us are past the point of relating to your biggest problem being whether to cut math class or not. That was what most YA was like back then.

However, two distinct things happened. One: There was a shift in what NA was, from real plots and discussing relationships and life to little more than pornography (which many readers were not happy with, myself included). Two: YA changed from being about the actual issues teens face to focusing on world-weary 16-year-olds living in dystopian settings that forced them to become the breadwinner or the chosen one or the next queen of the realm.

And this altering of dynamics resulted in some tricky situations. Real high school students ate up The Hunger Games and Divergent and The Maze Runner — but so did parents, for very different reasons. Actual teens were drawn to the escapism of dystopia: it was so far removed from anything they know that it was all about action and adventure and good guys versus bad guys. Parents, on the other hand, considered these series, and others like them, important cautionary tales, for what can happen to our civil liberties and democracies if we get complacent.

So, in the wake of the demise of NA, a new type of “YA” emerged: the kind where any novel featuring a protagonist who was 15, 16, or 17 — regardless of the content, subject matter, or genre — was automatically marketed to real life adolescents.

Many parents do not want their kids reading it. There’s too much profanity, casual alcohol use, cutting school, fornication, and little to no consequences for unwise behavior.

And actual teenagers don’t want to read it, because the wild parties, skipping class on a whim, having sex without worrying, and paying all the bills on time so your irresponsible parent doesn’t forget to sounds like no one they know.

Recently I read a blog post written by a current adolescent, who stated many of these (and other issues) as reasons why she doesn’t read much “YA” anymore. And I agree with her — not as a teen, obviously, but as the mother of a teen who’s having a hard time finding reading material that he can relate to.

And as a mother who’s trying to raise a gentleman, I’m having a hard time finding reading material for him that encourages not swearing, not picking up random girls, and not getting blasted on a Friday night.

(That is a whole post unto itself. Anyway.)

A lot of the issue is this: Publishers saw a goldmine by getting the parents — the people with salaries — to purchase overpriced “YA” novels. Again, who’s mostly reading “YA” these days? Adults. Are kids reading the new releases by “YA” authors their parents are bringing home? Maybe, maybe not.

But here’s the other thing happening while all this is going on: Teens are much more likely to stick with MG fiction, or switch to not reading for fun at all. In English class, they’ll suffer through Shakespeare and the classics, and in their everyday lives, avoid them like the plague. They’ll just check out graphic novels or manga from the library, or skip reading anything and go straight to the movie version.

Is this all teens? No. But is it becoming more and more prevalent and should we be worried about it? Yes.

When I was White Fang’s age (he’s 15 now), YA was just coming into its own. Too many teachers and librarians had complained that kids were expected to leap from Charlotte’s Web to A Separate Peace, and adolescent minds weren’t receiving proper nourishment. So some really smart people decided to create a market specifically for the 14-year-olds who weren’t “into kids’ stuff” anymore, but not ready for highbrow literary analysis.

And there is no denying that series like Harry Potter and Percy Jackson did what seemed the impossible at the cusp of the millenium — they turned kids away from computers and back to books, boys and girls, ages 8 to 18.

Now, though, we’re facing the reverse. And it’s because, once more, publishers are shutting teens out of the market. Kids who have a $10 a week allowance can’t afford $35 new hardcovers. They aren’t going to spend that money on stories that don’t make them feel connected or impacted, anyway.

Authors who write “YA” branded books but are aware their audience is mostly adults can be torn as well. (Enter Ms. Stiefvater’s Twitter thread on the subject.) They want to write about these characters, who happen to be adolescents. They want to write deeper, grittier stories than what you’d find in MG. Do some of them feel they’d be compromising their creative vision by “scaling down” certain things to gear it more towards “real” teens? Yeah, they do. Is that wrong? Hmm. No?

So, what’s the solution?

Well, here are my ideas: We need to go back to writing and publishing a market that teens can relate to and learn from. We also need to be aware there are plenty of adults who want to read fun, adventure-filled novels with a minimum of graphic violence and sex and language, and produce more fiction like that — just with 32-year-old protagonists.

And we need to try to drive down the cost of books to begin with — reading will become an elite past-time if we don’t consider the budget of 90% of working Americans.

Maybe we should also stop looking at the almighty dollar as our number one goal, and think more about the expression on someone’s face when they’ve found their next favorite read.

After all, that’s what literature is meant for.

Announcing The Super Secret Project!

Note: Reminding everyone I don’t own any of these images nor take credit in any way for the Minecraft videos referenced here. They are under the complete creative control of Rainimator.

Good morning! So, at long last, here I am with official news of the Super Secret Project! The reason I dubbed it so was because I’d been considering writing a standalone to go with The Order of the Twelve Tribes for a while, but really wasn’t sure just what I wanted it to focus on, nor did I want to promise a storyline that later changed (I do enough shuffling on publishing “deadlines” as it is). So I decided I’d refer to it as “the Super Secret Project” until I had more concrete details mapped out.

Well, this spring, White Fang got involved in the planning process, and he agreed that keeping it under wraps so that we could later do a big reveal was good. And now, here we go…ready?…

The novel will be called Fire and Wind, and its protagonist actually makes her first appearance in Volume 3: Healers and Warriors! It’s a short scene, but it establishes her presence in the Order world and sets up some important things about her character. Right now, she doesn’t have a name; she’s known only as…the Demon Girl.

She’s a character White Fang developed, based on inspiration he had from a YouTube Minecraft video series by someone whose screen name is Rainimator. These videos have it all — action, adventure, well-done animation, fitting music, plot twists to make you cry. If you or a young person you know are into Minecraft at all, I recommend checking out this channel.

So here’s the original inspiration:

White Fang put together his own origin story for his “Demon Girl” (often referred to in Hunters’ notes as simply DG), and together we outlined the role this character will play in the rest of the canon and the standalone. She’s shrouded in mystery in her Volume 3 entrance, and Fire and Wind shall dispell it and uncover her true self. In Healers and Warriors, it’s not very clear — is she truly evil? is she an antihero? how does she have vital connections to high-profile figures in the mortal and fey realms?

All this and more will be found in the pages of Fire and Wind. Publication shall occur in the summer of 2019. (Can you believe it — that’s not too far away!)

If you haven’t read Volume 3 yet, don’t worry, you can still enjoy (and follow) Fire and Wind. Though I, as a conscientious author, kindly suggest you’re all caught up on the canon so that nothing about DG’s introduction takes you by surprise.

*shameless plug sequence concludes*

So, this does indeed fill you in on the Super Secret Project! More news to come on other fronts as I carry on and move forthwith into grander scales of writing completion!

Biggest Reads of 2018: Likes, Dislikes, Whys and Why Nots

Good morning! So, since closing my Goodreads account, the major comment I received is that my reviews would be missed. In response, I promised more reviews on the blog. Let’s start out with a bang, shall we?: My biggest reads of this year, whether it was because of hype, personal anticipation, or something I learned about myself as a reader.

Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi

This was a diversity title that I picked up purely because I’d seen it advertised on Goodreads. Normally, the hype alone meant I wouldn’t even consider it; hyped books and I do not have the best of relationships.

But, yes, I caved. Children of Blood and Bone held the promise of being distinct. Its focus is an African empire, a fantasy realm based on tribal history, and there were no overt modern political soapboxes. Did it deliver? In that regard, yes.

There is plenty of action and excitement and plot. The characters don’t feel like cardboard cut-outs (even though they are all archetypes), most of their decisions and motivations ring true, and the world-building is intense.

Now, here’s where it fell flat: IT IS TOO DANG LONG. What is the trend with making YA novels 550 pages?!?! While holding up this tome of a book, I was afraid my wrists would snap. I had to read the majority of it sitting with it propped next to me on the armchair or at the kitchen table. And it started getting into too many subplots that felt like they were there mostly to increase page numbers, and the overall story wouldn’t have suffered without them.

This further affirmed to me that I am not ready to give up on diversity titles…but I also am not changing my mind about really long books anytime soon.

My rating: 3 out of 5 shiny moths

The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas

I first heard about this book, and considered it a vital part of the cultural conversation, but I would skip it.

What changed? Peer pressure. It was everywhere, and there were weeks when you couldn’t even log onto Goodreads or Twitter without seeing something about it. Now, after having tried it, I can concretely say: No.

My opinion has nothing one whit to do with race. This is a book that did come along at a time when we need to be discussing things like police discrimination against minorities, based solely on preconceptions and stereotypes instead of cold, hard facts.

Here’s where my frustration lies with The Hate U Give: Its entire premise is faulty. Starr is the most unreliable witness ever, as she did not see what happened. She cannot confirm nor dispute the police officer’s account. That makes the whole plot absolutely nothing but an extremely biased social commentary, and in my view, that makes for a lousy piece of fiction.

My rating: No numbers, but the moths are drooping and sad

Go Set a Watchman by Harper Lee

This was also a selection due to social pressure — but kind of the opposite, as people have been saying it’s so awful, I sort of wanted to prove them wrong. Did it?

Well, yes, and no. This novel was actually the one Harper Lee originally submitted to her publisher, not the beloved classic To Kill a Mockingbird. Go Set a Watchman is about an adult Scout — just Jean Louise, in this case — and most of the material that became Mockingbird is definitely in its infancy. Watchman could easily be considered a sequel (and I think the publisher was guaranteeing sales based on that theory), though that’s rather unfair to Ms Lee, who never intended to write a sequel, and in fact thought this manuscript had been long forgotten or even lost.

The story is very 1960s American South, and it captures a pivotal moment in that culture that we’d do well not to ignore or pass over. Lee’s talent for storytelling is evident, but her particular flourish really wasn’t yet crafted. So Mockingbird remains the classic we all should promote, and Watchman should be a cautionary tale about the dangers of signing away all your rights to a big city publisher.

My rating: 2 quietly perching on a magnolia tree moths

The Book of Speculation by Erika Swyler

I picked this up on a whim with a birthday gift card. It was pretty good, but I don’t know that I’d read anything else by this author. The premise was a combination of a poor guy on Long Island whose house is literally falling into the sea, and flashbacks of a traveling circus that eventually connected with the narrator in the present day. This sort of style doesn’t quite work for me, and sure enough, I found myself skimming or even skipping the majority of the flashbacks. It took me too long to figure out how they connected to the narrator, and those chapters were too lengthy for in-between parts. Also, I’ve never had much interest in circuses, so that made me squirm with impatience to move on.

My rating: 3 crystal ball gazing moths

A Piece of the World by Christina Baker Kline

This book and the next taught me more about myself as a reader in recent history than any of the others. In the spring, I joined an adult-book book club at my local library, which I normally wouldn’t do — and this selection just nailed it home to me why. A Piece of the World begins as a love letter to the Andrew Wyeth painting Christina’s World, then devolves into unbased assumption, and then full-out fabrication on the lives of what were real people. The surviving descendants of the Olsen family should sue the living daylights out of this author.

And yet, this was a book club favorite. The other members seemed to have absolutely no realization that this wasn’t just a portrait of a certain moment in history, it was slander and libel. I was among the few who saw this un-novel for what it really was.

My rating: 1 very agitated moth

The Woman in Cabin 10 by Ruth Ware

Again, usually I don’t read thrillers or unreliable narrators — and now The Woman in Cabin 10 has secured my never trying furthermore.

It was also a book club selection, and I got very disenchanted after the first 100 pages. The building action sharply dropped off, the secondary characters who had been developing literally vanished from the page for several consecutive chapters, and the ending was rather anti-climatic, bordering on nonsensical. But here’s what got my goat the most:  The narrator wasn’t actually unreliable, she had depression and anxiety. When an author takes an unstable woman and puts her in a situation where murder may or may not have been committed, then makes it out to be she’s “unreliable” because of pre-existing mental illness, that is NOT COOL.

And once more, most of the book club thought this was a great story. To me, it was just painful, and pointless, to read.

My rating: 1 beating its wings against a brick wall moth

Fawkes by Nadine Brandes

Color me disappointed. You mix a well-liked author with alternate history, fantasy, and Bonfire Night (one of my favorite holidays), and how could that not be a win?

Well, maybe the story is too busy, but trying to weave political and religious overtones into a novel that threw in a bit of a vague magic system, and plenty of family and personal drama, all together, made me merely struggle to get engaged. And the alternate history kept tripping me up (for example, there’s nothing on record of Guy Fawkes even having a son who participated in the Gunpowder Plot). Maybe this type of genre just isn’t for me.

No numbers: The moths were too confused to even be present 

The Lost Rainforest: Mez’s Magic by Eliot Schrefer

This middle-grade fantasy is wonderful. The plot moves right along, the characters are lovable (or hateable where necessary), the emotions are real, and the whole story just draws you in from the start. I can’t recommend this enough to fans of animal fantasy. Normally I don’t commit to reading an entire series before the next book is even announced, but I will be keeping my eyes peeled for whatever comes after Mez’s Magic, 110%! (Finally, a winner!)

My rating: 4 exuberant and dancing moths

The Word Collector by Peter H Reynolds

How can a picture book make you cry? This one totally does, and will. This author is a new favorite of mine. Check out all his other titles as well; you’ll cry over every single one, and thank Mr Reynolds for turning you into a puddle of disconsolate mess. The prose and messages are spot-on and incredibly beautiful.

My rating: 5 collapsed, joyously weeping moths

Explaining My Recent Decision to Leave Goodreads

So, yesterday I made the announcement on Twitter that I’ve decided to delete my user account on Goodreads. My published titles will remain there, as well as my author profile. First off, and most importantly, to all of you who have posted reviews praising my work, those are still on the site, and I continue to thank you for them. And from now on, anybody who reads and enjoys and wishes to post a review, absolutely go for it, and you will have my unending gratefulness.

And for my fellow indie authors, I am sorry that my ongoing support of your work won’t be seen in that venue. Please know that I do stay in your camp, and look forward to reading more of your titles, and in the future, I’ll be posting indie review posts on this blog (which you are more than welcome to share with every single person you know and tell them The Invisible Moth endorses folks buying your books).

But for me, Goodreads is not a positive platform. As much as I enjoyed seeing my friends’ updates and some of the book discussions we had — and I will miss that — the overwhelming atmosphere of not being allowed to disagree with other people’s opinions, of being put into a category of “bigot” or “intolerant” simply for holding one’s personal religious views, of people boycotting your books based on even a polite expression of dissent with a currently hot-button political or social topic, and of the general lack of appropriate critical thinking applied to what are supposed to be literary reviews…it was all getting to be way too much.

I’ll be brutally honest — what put me over the edge was seeing a review for one of my own titles that didn’t even make sense, it was so contradictory, and it significantly decreased my GR ratings for that title, and — well, I know star ratings shouldn’t matter so much, but to me, they do. I’ll admit, I wanted to completely throw all Christian morals of “loving our enemies” and “turning the other cheek” out the window. At least for a little bit.

Now, I’m not blaming my decision entirely on one other person. No, it’s the accumulation of too much hate on too many different reviews, mine and my friends’, too many soapboxes, too much nonsense.

And the sense of competition became fierce. I’d constantly compare myself to other authors, indie authors, trad pub, authors that have only been published recently, ones that have been at it for a while. I was seriously worried about their stats versus mine, and how pitiful mine seemed. I was beginning to wonder, “Why doesn’t anyone new want to read my books? Is my writing that bad?”

It was keeping me awake at night.

So, it was time to make a change.

If I’m not even a GR user, I won’t be as tempted to stalk my stats and angst over them. If I start to lose track of what those numbers might be, they’ll eventually mean less. I can convince myself that what other people think doesn’t matter if I don’t know what they’re thinking.

While this was actually not a fun thing to do — pressing the “delete” key and clicking the button that confirmed this action — it was necessary. And it was in fact painful — I felt sad all day after taking that final step. Yet I know, in my heart, that if I hadn’t carried through, this morning I would’ve woken up and wondered what fresh horrors awaited me in notifications.

The other major reason to cut the cord from this particular platform was the intense pressure it put on me to read hyped books I’d normally never go near, like what everybody else liked, and compete with my fellow online bookworms. Other people were finishing 100 new releases in a year, so I’d strive for the same. I’d race to the library 3 and 4 times a week to pick up holds, scour the shelves for authors I’d never heard of, force myself to believe I’d have my life changed by reading a genre I naturally shy away from.

It began to suck the joy from one of my favorite pasttimes. Something I do to relax after a long day.

Getting reviews up on GR in approximately 2 hours after closing a book became a priority. I’d wake up at 5 a.m. and be composing the review in my head. And when it was all on the screen, I’d realize just how much I couldn’t stand that title…and the idea of having wasted the past 72 hours of my life on it started to make my heart hurt.

As I went through my Goodreads TBR, I found that 95% of the titles on there were only listed because I saw someone else had chosen it. My true desire to engage in the novel did not exist.

So, finally, I drew the line. I culled my library holds, my Barnes and Noble and Amazon carts, and felt a great weight being lifted from my soul.

Now the emotional aftermath is somewhat bittersweet, but as I’ve seen my pleasure for re-reads return, and my potential bank balance stay way up, I know I’ve made the right choice. I can breathe again.

And I will put much more stock in the praise I already get from my friends and loved ones about the quality of my writing — and believe that it is worth it to press on.

Numbers need to matter a lot less. Money is one thing; self-esteem is another.

So, while it may seem to some an anti-productive choice to become inactive on a site that catalogs and shares authors’ publications, I’m content with it.

#AmCurrently: November Madness, Life Updates, and Other Announcements

Well, hello! Yes, it’s been a bit since I graced this space, and I’ve been less present online in general lately. The reason is quite simple: I am busy, and the non-internet world is demanding my attention. And sometimes even when it is, I decline. Why? Well, it’s hardly that I don’t want to keep up with all of you on how things are for you and what’s going on in this realm. But, there are a lot of other things happening for me, which leads to my explanations. So, without further ado…

AmCurrently: Life

I am sticking to my guns not to participate in NaNo this year. Although I greatly miss the excitement and fervor building up to it and its start, and the spirit of comraderie that inevitably occurs as we all gather together to share our joys and struggles, I have to bow out this time. I am definitely cheering on everybody who’s going for it, and while I’m not there on the NaNo site, I see your updates and support them with a mighty bookdragon roar. But I will admit, it was a very tough decision to make.

So, why nail it down? My kids aren’t keeping me any more busy than usual, but I am trying to start a new branch of The Invisible Moth — a creative writing consulting business. This includes freelancing, and this means putting out a LOT of feelers, finding out who in self-publishing, trad pub, editing, and all sorts of writing might be hiring or consider hiring such an individual. This takes TIME and ENERGY, and I am secretly dead on the inside right now. Things are beginning to happen, but it’s so far a small and slow gestation, so I’d greatly appreciate any prayers you have to offer up on this venture!

The other “real” life things coming after my spare time: A friend of mine ended up teaching dance classes that weren’t originally in her schedule this fall, and she needs help getting ready for the pre-Christmas performance.

Also, I’m joining another book club, started by my local library director, but run outside of the library, so that she can bring the love of reading more into the community, and she spotlights local authors as well — and she’s more than happy to spotlight me, so that’s a big plus in my favor.

And yesterday I attempted to bake November cakes! It turned out pretty well (I don’t bake, so please keep that in mind when I share the photos White Fang took on social media). It wasn’t a complete failure, so I count that as a total win!

AmCurrently: Reading

Due to needing a bulk of my days to be devoted to other tasks, I’m not planning on starting any new books until, most likely, after the holidays. This will be the season of the re-read. There are a few of my favorites (old and new) that I haven’t had a chance to re-read either yet or lately, so this is a perfect chance. Considering that my brainpower is focusing so strongly on stuff that isn’t absorbing brand new information from books or authors I’ve never encountered previously.

AmCurrently: Fiction Writing

Two words: Paaaaaaaaaaaaainfully slow, and I apologize to anyone who’s really eager to get their hands on my forthcoming releases. 2019 has a lot in the pipeline, and it will all be thrilling and make your hearts explode and buy stock in Kleenex. You’re welcome.

In lieu of NaNo, my goal for November is to write as much as possible on the prequel and the Super Secret Project (more on that soon!). And I will be returning to How To Be A Savage (my hardworking beta readers are on that much needed critique as we speak!).

Volume 4 and 5 are a ways down the priority list. There’s plenty to keep you going in the meantime, I promise.

AmCurrently: Marketing

Remember, Volumes 1-3 (Masters and Beginners, Rulers and Mages, Healers and Warriors) and the short story/flash fiction collection (Dreamings and Muses) are all available via Barnes and Noble.com. (And I’m looking into getting e-books ready early next year!) These beautiful paperbacks (thanks again, Kyle!) make the perfect Christmas present for fans of my blog, Tweets, and Goodreads reviews. (Yes, that means you!)

And remember, I still have some autographed first edition copies of Masters and Beginners on sale for only $8! (That includes shipping! Can’t get a better deal than that!)

Before I go, I wanted to make sure to let all of you who tirelessly visit my pages, like and promote and share, know that I am forever, ever grateful and thankful for your time, effort, and support. This venture of mine is hardly famous or well-funded or intensely popular, so requires a great deal of blood, sweat and tears on my part, and there are moments when I feel like throwing in the towel. Your praise and backing and ongoing encouragement remind me it is all worth it.

Have a great day, everyone. I’ll see you on the dark side of the moon.

 

 

Loafing

I don’t often reblog, but this was far, far too good to pass up…

Daily Feline Wisdom

Don’t judge!

Loafing is a recognized sport.

As is Sleep-Loafing.

–Lily

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It’s Time For A Rant About Christian Dance

For those of you who don’t know, I was a dancer before I was a writer. Well, really, they both were of pretty much equal importance in terms of passion in my youth; but I was well-trained in classical dance before I even contemplated self-publishing. Along with teaching small children to zip zippers and wash their hands, I’ve taught elementary pupils their first plies and tendus, and guided tweens into finding their own style and refining the basics of technique. After Muffin was born, I had to take a break from leading classes, but my heart has always had one foot still in the studio.

A couple of years ago, I first heard of something called “Christian dance.” I was simultaneously curious and confused, because I really couldn’t see how the usual guidelines for other types of religious art — like paintings, literature, and music — would apply to dance. The more I investigated and read and asked around, the more flummoxed I grew. Some denominations are absolutely against any type of dance occurring on church premises (they won’t even allow ballroom waltzes at wedding receptions); others enthusiastically encourage congregations to dance during worship services if they feel so moved.

Then there’s what seems to be the trend among devout Christian communities in recent years — a churchgoer or ministry leader who was also trained in an “acceptable” form of dance uses a church-owned space to run classes in movements that “glorify the Lord.” Regardless of whether the space used has a floor that won’t provoke injuries if the students land a jump or turn wrong. Or if they’re dressed to allow proper freedom of movement and acquiring of technique — just so long as they’re pretty much covered neck to ankles in Amish-style pajamas. And as long as they think there isn’t a single kind of music in the world other than worship music. And spend part of each class sitting around in a Sunday school lesson.

Now, here’s why I — as a Christian and as a dancer — have major problems with this approach:

While dance is an art highly open to interpretation (hence why there are so many styles of it), it is also an athletic activity, and guidelines exist to help prevent injuries to dancers, and these guidelines should be followed no matter what style you’re learning. When students are more likely to pull a muscle or twist tendons because they’re wearing clothing that restricts what’s supposed to be freeflowing movement, this is dangerous and should not be an advised practice. The same goes for students not being properly warmed up in the interest of avoiding “suggestible” sorts of stretches. This is “modesty policing” in the extreme, and it seriously bothers me, since it seems to be considered more important than students’ safety.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with using non-Christian lyrical songs, as long as the lyrics don’t include questionable language or content. While I don’t feel there’s anything wrong with using obviously Christian music, either, it’s my firm opinion that boxing yourself in to only classical pieces or clearly religious compositions limits creativity too much.
Dance is dance; Bible study is Bible study. Mixing the two seems not quite workable. Or practical. Or even…why? If you’re a dancer with religious or spiritual beliefs and morals, this would guide your conscience when it comes to making choices about music, costumes, and how you relate to your students in some ways. For example, I once asked to pray for a pupil who was having back surgery; this was in a secular studio, but the pupil was fine with it, and no one complained. But we don’t have to slap a “Christian” label on everything we do to make it worthy in God’s eyes.

Now, does the scenario above describe every single Christian dance studio or company in the country? No, it doesn’t. But unfortunately, it does seem to cover a number of them. (And I’ve been doing my research; this comment isn’t a shot in the dark.) Why can’t we provide solid technical instruction and strong morals to dance pupils? Why do we have to sacrifice one for the sake of the other?

There’s also something to be said for the “preaching to the choir” syndrome that happens a lot with Christian art — people who are already churchgoers who attend a “Christian” dance production will merely see confirmation of their own beliefs and expectations. Not that this is bad; however, it means a message that may need to reach people who never set foot in religious services won’t. What’s so wrong with advertising a faith-based performance to the entire world?

Different denominations have always had different views on what’s okay and what’s not when it comes to the arts. But dance in particular has gotten a bad rap, and the notion of watering down this beautiful art that I so love, in order to make it more palatable to an overzealous few, does not sit well with me.

For years, I’ve wanted to open my own studio. For years, the money or the time or both wasn’t there. But in this current climate of dance becoming increasingly geared towards competition (something else I strongly disapprove of), and facing an alternative within my own community that I also don’t consider a solution, I will make the time and get the money to establish my place in this world.

I love dance, have always loved it, and am a better person for it. I can wear a leotard and tights and still be a modest, Christ-loving woman. I can choreograph sequences to Irish music or Lindsey Sterling or Disney soundtracks and still pray for my students. I can arrange a recital that portrays a message of eternal salvation and invite the general public.

I’m not going down on this front without a fight. It’s time to have the fight on the right front.

To NaNo or Not to NaNo? That is the Question…

At least it’s the question on the mind of all writers who regularly torture themselves…er, participate in NaNoWriMo. The short answer for me, is: No.

No, no, no, no, and — no. Here’s the detailed reason why:

Last year I about died when I was nearly 30k words into my project…and then woke up one morning somewhere around November 20th — and realized I absolutely hated the direction it was going. I liked the characters, and the tone, but too much of the plot as it had developed made me melt into a puddle of oozing bleck that was ruining the carpet.

Plus, I was finishing the final edits for Rulers and Mages at the same time. Yes, yes, I actually was doing that to myself.

Anyway, I was pretty close to finishing NaNo, in a non-traditional (“rebel”) way, so I decided to add to my monthly word count the approximately 10k new words that had come out of Volume 2’s final edits, and about 12k of an untitled/ungenred experimental piece/possible novella I attempted exploring a different take on my imploding project. (I did make it to 50k by November 29th, but I ultimately scrapped the different take, and put the original project on the shelf indefinitely.)

Also, last year I realized that “winners” have to pay for their prizes — which is just so not okay after we’ve literally toiled for hours and hours and made our families afraid of us and sacrificed our chances for relaxing over an entire month.

It really turned me off the whole idea.

So, as far as I am concerned: NaNo, away with thee!

Here’s what NaNo is good for: You quickly develop a lot of self-discipline when it comes to your writing. You learn how to stick to a project and make serious headway on it in a short amount of time.

The first year I undertook this challenge, that was exactly my goal. I’d been struggling for literal ages with a novel that I’d written when White Fang was still in elementary school, and I’d always thought about trying to do more with it, but never did. A reason to put it off always came up.There was always a reason to put it off.

So, in 2016, the goal became to finish the novel, entirely, and find out how to self-publish. I’d queried several times before without much luck. And I was tired of feeling like I’d never get anywhere. So I took the leap. (What came out of NaNo 2016 was Masters and Beginners. It did pay off.)

However, since then, the one problem I have not had is finishing a WIP. After not writing very much for a long time, it’s like that part of my brain can’t be shut off. In a year and a half, I’ve published a total of 4 books, and my plans for 2019 include at least 4 more.

But I have also learned that I have limits, and sticking to them is highly advised.

For example, trying to write 90% of a novel within 30 days is not a good idea. Setting myself a realistic deadline of having a draft done within about 6 weeks, and then making sure the rewrites and edits don’t take more than another 6 weeks, is a worthy aspiration.

The other good teaching tool of having a strict time limit is refusing to let your inner editor go crazy. Some of us continually battle the critic that arises while we’re writing, the voice that always triple-guesses our choice of wording, character names, how much description we put in that paragraph… And that needs to stop.

Yes, editing is necessary, and everybody’s first draft is going to be a bit of a mess. And that’s totally fine. But we also deserve to like our own work — we certainly pour enough blood, sweat and tears into it.

Overcoming the urge to edit every single chapter I complete, as I go, is not a NaNo-friendly strategy. In the interest of time, you really can’t. Though if there’s a certain phrase or adjective that just isn’t clicking for me, I simply don’t feel comfortable going on until it isn’t bugging me anymore. This is just how I roll.

And how I roll and NaNo…well…that may not line up.

Anyway, while I am officially not participating in NaNo, here’s what I will be doing in November:

I’m spending October getting as far as I can on the Order of the Twelve Tribes prequel. When November 1st comes, if I feel like there’s still more to tackle on that, I will do so. But if, by November 5th, the inspiration’s no longer kicking, then I will devote a chunk of time (till about Thanksgiving) to the Super Secret Project. (Both of these WIPs I really want to finish drafts of before Christmas.)

Spreading myself too thin is an experience I should only be describing in the past tense. And avoiding writer’s block is a priority. So, if my mind goes blank on the Super Secret Project (since I don’t have all the twists worked out for that yet), there is always Volume 4 to get back to.

Since I prefer to write my first drafts by hand, keeping up with word count can be kind of tough. Measuring my daily progress by number of pages — and not fretting if I fall short — is my ambition instead.

To those of you heading into traditional NaNo, may the odds be ever in your favor. To those of you opting out, I hear you. And to those of you who are just plain writing — rock on.