Kyria Abrahams's Blog, page 7

You're Okay If You're With Her

She could tell you some stories about that. You know, when I was real, real little we had a baby squirrel. Yes, a REAL one! I'm not kidding!

When she was three, they asked her what her favorite color was and she said "velvet".

She doesn't accidentally say "fucking" in the middle of a sentence. When she says fuck, she says it on purpose, and everyone in the room looks at her.

Her younger brother says she's his hero.

They still talk about that night, with the entire gravy boat smashed against the wall, the rug was ruined by the fire. The neighbors must have thought there was some kind of domestic violence going on, you know what I mean? Must have thought the kids were getting the what-for.

And when she was four, the family got a new piano. The old one, the ivory on the keys peeled off like fingernails. And you could see the wood underneath. But she didn't mind or notice.

Her grandmother was one of the first women to use punch cards while working for IBM way back in the 60's. She still has one in her attic.

I remember, we all huddled outside in the backyard with a boom box. My cousin said he had something to play for me. That was the first time I heard electronic music.

Do I look okay? What do you think? Do I look pretty enough for you?

Photos of the Christening were all destroyed at the airport. We never let Daniel be in charge of the film again.

One night, Calicopaws came into mom's bedroom to wake her up. The baby was blue choking in her crib. It was a miracle cat.

It was the fourth grade talent show and she wrote her own composition. But I think it was the bassoon. What a cacophony.

Before this, her favorite cousin was killed by a drunk driver.

She holds you in bed and sighs sweetly like crinoline. Says she can't ever fully know, but she can try to understand and support you. This is because she's a kind person, too.

She asks you "Were you lonely in jail?" You say "Sometimes."

She tells her first best friend from Greenwich elementary school that once in a while you get distant, but that's just how you are. She lets you have your space and waits it out. It's okay. You know, with the drug thing and everything. Sometimes you just need to think.

She had an uncle who suffered from alcoholism, though, so it was something her whole family struggled with it. At reunions. It's a cause that she believes in deeply.

Pretty. Untouched by. Problems aren't a problem for her.

No, her grandmother taught her to be strong. The wisest woman she ever knew.

Such good taste in music.

Go do that. Pretend that you're okay, too.

Website is down

Apologies for all these broken links and images!

I just realized that my website is currently down, but I'm in the process of putting it back up.

In the meantime, you can follow my blog on Tumblr:

http://kyriaabrahams.tumblr.com

Line breaks are important

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This pond was coy

Mary's Garden next to The Church of the Holy Family, New York.


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Tattoo Review

I am writing a new column on The Faster Times in which I will review tattoos and interview the tattoo-ed.

I'm kicking it off by ripping my boyfriend a new one.

Mr. Horsepower is not Woody Woodpecker.

Hope you enjoy. Feel free to add your thoughts to the comments page.

Stay lowbrow,

- Kyria

"I assume it's a good day for Witnessing..."

I was interviewed for the New York Review of Magazines, but - get this - the author also spent actual time out in field service with a Jehovah's Witness couple for his wonderful article about The Most Widely Read Magazine in the World.

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"Dirtying up the brainwashing"

My Pen As Persona just finished reading my book and had some memories about growing up as a Jehovah's Witness on her blog over here:

Providence Athenaeum Library

I visited here this weekend. It's the fourth oldest library in the country.

In order to enter, you are required to don a hounds tooth cloak and smoke (or at least pretend to smoke) from a mahogany pipe. It is simply law.

(A mystery involving an escaped African parrot and a missing baroness was solved here at one point.)

More pictures here.

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Bucket Lists of Various Hipsters

1. Act more rad
2. Be apathetic about the Mona Lisa
3. Make fun of people who jump out of planes
4. Waste an entire trip to Europe in a movie theater
5. Sell panties on Craigslist until it "gets scary"
6. Order from a taco truck in Spanish
7. Read at least two of the books on my Facebook favorite books list
8. Wink at a Jamaican guy on OkCupid
9. Get obsessed with orchids
10. Perform 20 minutes from my Junior High diary at an open mike
11. Loudly discuss my New Media professor on an Amtrak Quiet Car
12. Let Dov Charney put his balls on my shoulder
13. Be amazed that wine is cheaper than water in Paris
14. Go on a safari. Make fun of it.
15. Allow myself to be photographed by Vice while puking into a cop car
16. Talk about making a documentary about my friends
17. Find a wise elderly confidant and bore them to death
18. Get tasered at a free outdoor concert
19. Acquire a limping dog
20. Vegan for at least one month
21. Talk incessantly about how I never want to get married because I'm afraid I'll end up like my parents
22. Visit Brooklyn
23. Climb a mountain... of denial
24. Finally determine which roommate brought bedbugs back from the hostel
25. Pretend to have done mescaline
26. Shift from adoration to hatred instantly and without provocation
27. Complain about the lack of cell phone service on the subway
28. Have definitive conversation about something
29. Break your iPhone on a Floom
30. Participate ironically in Ash Wednesday
31. Snicker at the Louvre
32. Love a wimp
33. Get confused by a stupid map in Barcelona
34. Be whatever. Just go with the flow, ya know?
35. Take Polaroids of the homeless
36. Be known for hating a specific food. Okra?
37. Have a neighbor who works as a set designer
38. Change ex-boyfriend's secret nickname from "Sunburn Boy" to "Mustachio"
39. Briefly consider how others see me
40. Build a tower of PBR cans that will reach the sun

Teensy Drag Racing in Jersey

My boyfriend, among other things, likes to make tiny engines. I don't make tiny engines because I'm a girl and so I physically cannot. However, I did travel to Paramus where I pulled a trigger on a $1000 radio control that made a tiny car go zoom-vroom in a parking lot sprayed with grape soda. It was fun, but I felt a like a child playing a video game in a room full of video game programmers. Tiny engines are hard.

Here are a few pictures from the day. There are a couple more here.

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(all photos taken with a Canon A-1 and copyright Kyria Abrahams 2010)