Annette Batterink's Blog, page 6

Cake Night

Last evening I attended a Cake Night event at a local Christian recovery house to support the artist who drew the pencil drawing attached to this blog post.  It was a first time experience for me.  There were many stories of how God changes lives and how a steadfast faith in God is needed in difficult battles in our lives.  It was a blessing to have those truths reaffirmed.

However, there was another aspect that was talked about by many.  The men talked about how their lives had been, and continue to be, affected by those around them.  There were examples of mutual support and examples of wisdom shared.  But for me, the most impressive, and perhaps life-changing, encounters these men had were something I hadn’t expected: learning to accept someone who is different.  Stories were told of conflicts of various kinds and how adapting in these relationships led to gaining a friend and to personal growth.

Sharing my story is something I had to learn.  For years, I hid the reality of my situation by pretending that everything was fine and my life was “normal”.  Attending Divorce Care was a blessing.  I felt a freedom to share there.  Instead of looks of unbelief, there were knowing nods — and acceptance.  There were many ways in which I was different from the others in my Divorce Care group, but by sharing what we had in common those differences didn’t matter. I hope that I can offer acceptance more and more in all situation; that my knowing nods can be about accepting the way the person feels without looks of unbelief.

There are still many layers of “my onion” that need to be removed.  But one thing I am learning: as the layers are removed, I grow.  I allow myself to grow into the person God intends me to be.  There is power in sharing our situations, in working through difficult situations and in extending love and care to those we may not understand.

Matthew 25: 35 – 36 says: For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.  There is no mention of “when I understood you or when you are worthy of my attention.  Matthew 10:14 says: If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet. Sadly, sometimes we are not ready or are unwilling to accept the help that is offered.

Each of us has something to give.  Each of us has lessons we still need to learn. That’s what I heard last evening.  Stories shared about men who gave and who received. May we all open our hearts wide with willingness to give and receive.

 

 

 

 

 

The Right Source

Where does my help come from?

There are many ways in which we try to make our lives feel better.  Often we look for the solution through other people.  We think that if the other person would apologize for hurting us, then we would feel better.  We think that if we could just tell them how their “mistakes” have affected our lives, then life would be easier to bear.  Or, if they would help us sort through our problems, then our problems might be solved.  Our thoughts and behaviour get very wrapped up in the actions of others.

Another source of comfort for us can be food or other physical things.  Some people eat for comfort, some people shop for comfort and some people hoard to feel safe.  So many things can affect our ability to have these things be effective.  We put on too much weight and need to watch how much we eat.  We come to a financial slow down and  need to control our spending.  We run out of space for all of our stuff or need to move.  It’s very easy for these sources of comfort to be affected by circumstances beyond our control.

We often feel a bit better when we focus a bit more on ourselves.  However, sometimes we can become too self-focused and lose our ability to share our lives with others.  Only our opinion matters, only looking at the world through our eyes can be right and only I can know what is best for me.  Our focus is no longer to make ourselves more useful to others by being healthy physically, emotionally and spiritually.

There thoughts remind me of the question in Psalm 121.  Where does my help come from?

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—  where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord,     the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip—   he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel     will neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord watches over you—     the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day,     nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep you from all harm—   he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going  both now and forevermore.

Psalm 121 tells us that “my help come from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth”.  Our help does not come from people, things or ourselves.  Psalm 121 reminds us that God is our Security, our Protection and that He is with us along every step of life’s journey.  God is the right and only source that is constant and everlasting.

Romans 8: 38 – 39

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,  neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.   

 

 

 

 

 

 

Looking Up from the Bottom of the Stairs

Do you ever have those days when you feel stuck?  Or you don’t know what to do next?  Or you wonder if you should do something or nothing?  I seem to have days, times, seasons like that. I know that others have walked similar paths.  I have read or heard their stories and been encouraged. Right now, my life has taken an unexpected direction.  I need to remember that “faith is taking the first step even when you can’t see the whole staircase.” (Martin Luther King Jr.)

Almost a year ago, I had surgery to correct a condition I had.  I thought that everything would be “normal” after that.  I had complications during surgery, so initially, I thought I was recovering from surgery.  After some time, I thought I had to recover from recovering.  I started to make some lifestyle changes which seemed to make a difference, but I still struggled.

Recently, I’ve realized that my surgery has left me with a “permanent” less serious condition.  However, it is life-changing and adjustments have to be made– physically and emotionally.

Dealing with my physical symptoms and changes has been a challenge.  There have been many prayers by myself and others.  The answer to those prayers hasn’t been total healing — a miraculous transformation of the changes that have been made to my body.  The answers have come in quiet direction in various ways of how to live differently and more effectively with the “new me”.   This is an ongoing process and I thank God for not giving up on me through my tears and frustration.

Looking at my future through a different lens is harder. Sometimes I feel like I’m making a mountain out of a molehill. “Am I depressed?”, I ask myself.  I may be a bit depressed, though I believe it is more like a situational crisis.  The Free Dictionary describes a situational crisis in psychiatry as “an unexpected crisis that arises suddenly in response to an external event or a conflict concerning a specific circumstance. The symptoms are transient, and the episode is usually brief”. I have to recognize that  ignoring a molehill would not be a good idea.

It is taking a bit of time for me to refocus my life .  In the past I have gone through a necessary divorce and a few major moves that I chose to make.  God led me to and through those situations.  I’ll admit that I am a bit blind-sided by what God is doing now. Trusting God and remembering His love for me gives strength and courage for each day.

I know that God knows exactly where I am and that His love for me and His plans for me have not changed. Slowly, I am starting to anticipate the “next steps” in a positive way.  I am starting to recognize deep within that God has prepared me for this time — that different will be OK.

Psalm 23

A psalm of David.

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.

He makes me lie down in green pastures,

he leads me beside quiet waters,

he refreshes my soul.

He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake.

Even though I walk

through the darkest valley,

I will fear no evil,

for you are with me;

your rod and your staff,

they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me

in the presence of my enemies.

You anoint my head with oil;

my cup overflows.

Surely your goodness and love will follow me

all the days of my life,

and I will dwell in the house of the Lord

forever.

 

 

Tangled Mess

A few days ago I read about a girl whose hair became a horribly tangled mess as a result of a deep depression that had lasted for quite a while.  Once she had the energy to care what she looked like, she didn’t have the time, energy or perhaps the ability to get the tangles out.  In her desperation for change, she went to a hairdresser to have her head shaved.   Much to her surprise, rather than shave her head, the hairdresser spent thirteen hours over the next two days detangling her hair and styling it.  It was an amazing transformation!

When I think of that scenario, one mental picture really resonates with me.  The picture of that girl sitting still in that chair while the hairdresser works hour after hour to detangle her hair.  So often I am very impatient.  I want a quick fix.  I don’t want to experience the pulls, and ouches and time involved in detangling.  I want God to fix my life NOW.  I want to see results on a daily basis.  It’s hard for me to sit calmly with head bowed, waiting, trying desperately to trust. “Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for Him” (Psalm 37:7)

Some days it’s easy to trust that God is in control.   But sometimes, my journey feels too hard and too unfair.  I get so caught up in “what isn’t” that I lose track of “what is”.  My life shouldn’t be about what I can see.  My life is about what God is doing.  “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them” (Romans 8:28)

I have seen the transformation God is able to do in people’s lives — how He is able to change them inside and out.  With some people the changes are profound and visibly obvious.  I think that it’s harder for me to recognize changes in myself.  If I believe that God has “plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11), then I need to recognize that He is changing me to make me who I need to be.  “He has made everything beautiful in it’s time…yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end” (Ecclesiastes 3:11)

And so, today, I have a different picture of how I wait patiently for God to transform me.  When life seems out of control, I want to remember that I am not the “de-tangler”, God is.  I want to remember that He is working out His plan for me through all the lessons He teaches me in His Word, through all of life’s highs and lows and through all the people He puts in my path.  “For we are God’s masterpiece.  He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.” (Ephesians 2:10)

 

 

 

Another Book?

Another story is forming in my mind.  It’s a different experience than writing down my own story.  I had read about fiction writers who experienced the lives of their characters becoming real to them.  I wondered how that happened, but find I am experiencing that, too.  Slowly more pieces of the story come together.

Another interesting thing is how ideas come to mind as life unfolds.  I find I need to have pen and paper ready so I can write down my thoughts after certain experiences.  I have no idea how “big” a story this will become.  But it is fun experiencing the birth and growth of a story and its characters.

If any writers are reading this, I’d be interested in reading about your experiences — about how your stories evolve.

 

He will direct your paths

When we walk with the Lord, our prayer is: Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths.  Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. (Psalm 25:4-5)

And God response is: I instruct you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths. (Proverbs 4:11).  Yet, when life takes unexpected twists and turns, we start to doubt the things God has been teaching and showing us.

 

Recently I read this quote by Sinclair Ferguson: Be obedient even when you don’t know where obedience may lead you.  It reminded me of the words from Isaiah 55:8 ~ “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.

There was a time when I had to make a tough decision about my life, a life-altering decision.  God was very present during that time and I felt Him leading me.  Still, it wasn’t easy to make the necessary changes and sometimes I doubted if I had made the right choices.  It wasn’t until several years later that I discovered that my decision had a huge impact, a life-giving impact, on someone else.  God knew more than I did.

Psalm 138:8 says: The Lord will vindicate me; your love, Lord, endures forever — do not abandon the works of your hands.  I had to look up that word “vindicate”.

Vin·di·cate – to clear someone of blame or suspicion; to show or prove to be right, reasonable or justified.

I believe that when I walk in obedience, I can trust God to take care of the parts of my life that I don’t understand.  Do I always trust God?  No, but I am trying more and more to accept the things I don’t understand as being in God’s control. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.  (Proverbs 3:5-6)

 

In Psalm 23, God gives me an awesome picture of His promises for now and eternity.

 

The  Lord  is my shepherd, I lack nothing.

He makes me lie down in green pastures,

he leads me beside quiet waters,

he refreshes my soul.

He guides me along the right paths

     for his name’s sake.

  Even though I walk

     through the darkest valley, [a]

I will fear no evil,

     for you are with me;

your rod and your staff,

     they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me

     in the presence of my enemies.

You anoint my head with oil;

     my cup overflows.

Surely your goodness and love will follow me

     all the days of my life,

and I will dwell in the house of the Lord

     forever.

 

May He refresh your soul as you walk boldly, in trust, where He leads!

 

June 14, 1946

Today is seventy-one year since my parents got married.

( Words of dedication taken from my book —My Tapestry — Experiencing the Love of the Designer )

For My Parents — With Thanks to God

During World War II, my parents lived in the Netherlands, which was occupied by Nazi Germany.  It was a very difficult time, and hard choices had to be made.  Near the end of the war, my parents were engaged and working in the Wieringermeer polder, which was low-lying land reclaimed from the sea.  Dikes and pumping engines kept the land dry.

In the beginning of 1945, under German command, Dutch workers dug deep holes at the bottom and at the top of the dikes.  Each hole was loaded with unexploded bombs from British and American aircraft.  On April 17, 1945, at 12:45 a.m. the explosives were ignited.  The seven thousand people who lived in the Wieringermeer and the estimated one to two thousand refugees had to leave the polder.  Within forty-eight hours the entire polder was filled with water.  The people living there had been warned and there was no loss of life.

On April 22, 1945, my father, then twenty-four years old, wrote in his diary that he and my mother went to look at the polder from part of the dike.  He wrote, “It was a sorry sight– water all over with here and there a rooftop and tree showing.  If we didn’t know God cares for us, we would be devastated… The Lord is right in all His ways and works.”

After my father died, my brother Len wrote Afterword — the final words about Dad’s life– as an ending to my father’s autobiography, A Life of Grace and Blessings.  Len wrote, “In his book, Dad talked about his engagement to Mom years before.  He said, ‘We loved each other dearly.’  For sixty-two and a half years their love for each other grew stronger and deeper.  It was at the heart of the family, and it blessed everyone they knew.”

My parents’ example of trust in God and their love for each other greatly shaped my life.  I thank God for the parents He gave me and for the example they were to me and my children.  I dedicate this book to the special memories of my parents.

 

Thinking about Health Care

Today, May 4, 2017, the US is having its first vote on a new health care plan.  As I read about the people that will no longer be getting services, it makes me sad.  There seem to be so many factors that add to the difficulty of making health care available to all in that country — insurance companies, pharmaceutical companies and a government that isn’t buying in to the need for coverage for all.

As I read all this, I am thankful for the health care we have in Canada.  This year is 45 years since I started my nursing career: first by going to nursing school, followed by 43 years of working as a Registered Nurse.  I have cared for many patients/residents/clients in several different settings.

Today, I was thinking about health care and healthy living.  What does it take to maintain health?  There is evidence that important steps are eating well, drinking enough fluids each day, maintaining a good weight, exercise, getting enough sleep, controlling stress and having FUN AND LAUGHTER in your life.

Do we do what we need to do to take responsibility for my own health?  Do we reach for  medications when there are healthier options?  Do we get medical assistance when we need it rather than waiting until we have a serious problem?  Some of these are ways we abuse our “free” health in Canada.

I hope that the medical system in Canada starts to do more to encourage people to focus on preventative medicine.  What can I do to help myself and others do better?  Lots of ideas start coming to mind.  Walking with a friend, cooking lessons to help people cook healthier food, understanding another person’s limits, and most importantly, adding FUN and LAUGHTER to the lives of others.

Please share your ideas in the comments.  Spring is here — great time to make some changes in our lives!!

 

This Little Light of Mine

Reading the news this morning was very depressing — as it often is these days.  It wasn’t a very good way to start my day.  Then, out of some far-away storage place in my mind, I started humming an old Sunday School song: “This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine…”  That’s when I realized that I can’t control all the “crazy” stuff that is happening in the word. but there is something I can control —  “my light”.

“Hide it under a bushel — No!  I’m going to let it shine”  Each of us has our own abilities and therefore ways of letting our light shine.  However the easiest way to let our light shine is through our smile.  Smile at everyone, everywhere  — purposefully — to spread joy.  Small acts of kindness are also very meaningful.  They help remind other people that they are noticed and that their needs are recognized, even the little things.  Being more intentional in out interactions with others is a great way to let our light shine.

“Don’t let Satan blow it out — I’m going to let it shine”.  So many things, like reading the news, can rob us of our joy.  Everything seems hopeless and overwhelming and we retreat into a darker place. We can become discouraged when we don’t get back when we give to others, when our efforts don’t seem to be appreciated.  Life becomes harder, too, when we don’t take care of ourselves physically, emotionally and spiritually. Being more intentional about the things we expose ourselves to, being realistic about our expectations and taking care of ourselves, can help our light keep shining.

“Let it shine ’til Jesus comes–I’m going to let it shine”.  Hopefully being more positive in all areas of our lives can become a lifetime habit.  It would be a better world for all of us. So much of our lives is about the choices we make.  Many years ago, I sang with abandon:  “This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine”.   I had no idea then how difficult it might be to live out those words some days.  But if each of us can agree that change starts “with me”, we can make the world a brighter place.  LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE!!

 

Spring has Sprung

It was an abnormal winter  in the lower mainland of BC.  We had lots of snow which stayed on the ground for more than two months.  Because this is unusual for us, our city and apartment complex weren’t able to clear the snow well. Trying to shovel the heavy BC snow so I could get my car out was HARD work.  There were several times when it was  too slippery to walk to the nearby store.  Each additional bit of snow added to the chaos that was happening.  I have lived in Ontario and Alberta, but had never experienced how house-bound a person can become in winter. The heavy winter was followed by a rainy season:heavy rains and many windy days.

Finally, spring is coming.  Other parts of the continent have been unusually warm, but not us.  Slowly, the flowers are starting to bloom.  The daffodils are bending in the wind, the trees are flowering or exposing their beautiful “spring-green”.  The other day as I was walking to my car, the birds were twittering crazily with excitement.  It is good to be able to see and feel the freshness all around.

I feel renewed myself.  I want to  exercise more, deep clean my apartment, get more out of each day.   I love the changing of the seasons, but this year I was very ready for spring!  Praying that I’ll be able to keep this energy going  for a long time.

“See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone.  Flowers appear on the earth’ the season of singing has come. the cooing of doves is heard in our land”  Song of Solomon 2:11-12