Wendy Wax's Blog, page 17

If It’s Not One Thing It’s Your Mother! Mother-Daughter Relationships in Women’s Fiction

I own a pillow with the emphatic “If it’s not one thing, it’s your mother!” stitched across it, and I’ve never been able to look at it without smiling; or perhaps more truthfully, grimacing.

I spent a good part of my twenties talking to a therapist about my relationship with my mother. I was fairly certain that all of my insecurities could be traced to the things she’d said and done. In conversations debating nature versus nurture, I always went with nurture, which allowed everything that was wrong with me—and there were an awful lot of things—to be my mother’s fault. In fact, I didn’t originally intend to have children at all because I was so afraid of messing them up.

That resolve weakened in my thirties and I now have two fabulous sons whom I don’t think I’ve scarred too badly. In the process I discovered that mothering is way more complicated than it looked from the receiving end. I also switched sides in the ‘nature vs nurture’ conversation not just to absolve myself of the full load of responsibility, but because my sons are different from each other in almost every way, and those differences were obvious from birth.

Still, it seems clear to me that most of us are the mothers we are because of—or in spite of—our own mother’s mothering style, which we either emulate or reject. If they were hypercritical, we may bend over backward not to criticize. If they were disorganized we become fervent list-makers. If they never got up to make our breakfasts before school (something my mother’s generation apparently never got the memo on) we’re up at the crack of dawn squeezing fresh orange juice and scrambling those eggs. Or at least popping the frozen waffles into the toaster.

As loaded with emotion as the mother-daughter relationship is, it can be hard to find much middle ground. Which explains why it so often finds its way into women’s fiction novels. I’ve addressed it in many of my books, but even I was surprised when I ended up with not one, but two, important mother-daughter relationships in my novel Ten Beach Road, which has turned into a series that includes Ocean Beach, Christmas at the Beach, and The House on Mermaid Point, which will be released July 1st.

No one can love you or hurt you more than your mother. Recently I listened as one friend and one complete stranger vented about their relationships with their mothers. But of course, once you become a mother you realize that this relationship cuts both ways.

Despite my best attempts to be the mother I thought they needed, I worry that one day my sons will feel the need to vent about me. As my mother once observed, it’s amazing how differently both sides of this relationship can view the same conversation or event. Like two witnesses to a crime or an accident, what happened is rarely as clear-cut as we’d like.

I occasionally complain that my sons don’t share their feelings or even the details of their day as much as I’d like (or in the way that daughters do), but it’s begun to occur to me that this may actually work to my benefit. Perhaps they also won’t need to ‘tell all’ to a counselor. Or entertain their friends and future spouses with stories about my mistakes and foibles. I’m pretty sure they’ve never seen that embroidered pillow that reads, ‘If it’s not one thing, it’s your mother!’ I’ve got it tucked away in a back closet where my children, who are male after all, will never find it.

With my mom last Mother’s Day.

A few Wax women celebrate Mother’s Day!

My sons Kevin and Drew.

WENDY WAX, BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF WOMEN’S CONTEMPORARY FICTION, ATLANTA, GEORGIA

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A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To Key West

Key West was the intended setting for my latest book, The House on Mermaid Point, but a funny thing happened on my way there…

One of the greatest things about writing a novel is all of the things you get to learn. As a former journalist, I spend a lot of time and energy trying to be sure that everything I ascribe to my characters or build into a plot is at least possible.

In the course of ten novels, I’ve searched out a pretty eclectic mix of information including – but not limited to– the bra industry, cross dressing, financial fraud, beauty pageants and forensics (not necessarily in that order), talk radio, televangelism and speed cooking. I’ve taken ballroom dance and fly fishing lessons, though not simultaneously, and spoken to doctors, FBI agents, policemen, and investigative reporters.

Ten Beach Road revolves around three strangers who lose everything to a Ponzi scheme then spend a long sweat soaked summer trying to bring their lone remaining asset, a derelict beachfront mansion, back to life. Its sequel Ocean Beach takes the same characters to South Beach where their renovation-turned-reality-television series Do Over, is shot. As the series unfolded I learned everything I could about interior design, architecture and construction. The last was especially challenging for someone who belongs to a family that can’t use tools without requiring medical attention. Everyone I knew who could use the right end of a hammer learned to run when they saw me coming. But I persevered and while I would never hire myself to renovate, well, anything, I have learned enough to make my characters and the work they perform in the Ten Beach Road novels feel real.

Books and the characters that inhabit them can be tricky. The same can be true of research. Even after initial research and a great deal of thinking, which should not be confused with procrastination, you and your story can get high-jacked.  That’s what happened with The House on Mermaid Point, my third Ten Beach Road novel, which will be released July 1. I started by reading Florida Keys history and guidebooks then moved on to Keys set mystery novels and blog posts which led me to choose Key West as a setting. I planned a research trip there, invited my husband along – a decision that deserves its own blog post– and booked a room at a restored BandB in Old Town Key West where I planned to beg for renovation stories and explore the city where I’d decided my story would take place.

Everything might have worked out exactly as planned if we hadn’t stopped off in Islamorada to visit friends on our way down to Mile Marker Zero. One of them has lived there for more than twenty years and her father served as mayor for a lot of them. So I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised when she and her husband set out to show us what felt like every gorgeous inch of the Sportfishing Capital of the World. We dined on small torch-lit beaches while we watched glorious sunsets and met some of the friendliest people in the universe. We sailed on their boat, walked the small neighborhood streets, and were dragged out of bed (not always willingly) before dawn to watch the sun rise and see the backcountry skiffs and offshore boats head out for the day. We ate breakfast at their favorite table at their favorite breakfast spot, and when I spied an intriguing tea-table shaped piece of land jutting out into the Atlantic during a tour of marinas, our friend  knew someone who knew someone, and I was walking on that island that same day.

I fell in love with it the moment I set foot on it. Despite all that I’d read and all that I’d thought, I knew as I stood there with the trade winds rifling my hair, that this island needed to belong to William Hightower, the aging down on his luck rock star whose personal paradise is about to be turned into a BandB against his will.

We did ultimately make it down to Key West, which is a very beautiful and very cool place in its own right. And I did set an important scene there. But I’d already left my heart and most of my imagination in Islamorada, and I knew better than to fight it.

That’s the thing about research. Sometimes it confirms and even exceeds your expectations. But sometimes it not only points you in a new and unexpected direction, it insists that you go there.

Mermaid Point

WENDY WAX, BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF WOMEN’S CONTEMPORARY FICTION, ATLANTA, GEORGIA

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Downton Abbey is back!

I could hardly wait for Season 4 to begin on January 5th and not just because I’ve been more than ready to continue the saga of the Crawleys. I had a sneak preview of the season’s first episode courtesy of Georgia Public Broadcasting and had to wait almost three weeks to find out what other fans think of the debut and to chat about it with friends without giving away any spoilers.

Since I know lots of Downton lovers have the episode on their DVR, I’ll only say a bit here but . . .Lady Mary . . . O’Brien upheaval . . . mysterious Valentines . . . Edith visits London . . . the village pub . . . inheritance laws . . . and the return of my favorite Dowager Countess. Are you loving being back at Downton as much as I am? Sunday nights are once again a highlight of my week.

I was thrilled to see the ad for WHILE WE WERE WATCHING DOWNTON ABBEY in Entertainment Weekly’s January 10th issue. It was right in there with eleven pages of the Downton Abbey coverage featured on their front cover. Between that, the debut of Season 4 and the January release of WHILE WE WERE WATCHING DOWNTON ABBEY for the first time as a mass market paperback, I’m feeling very au courant.

I’m just back from visiting family in Florida and have sent off revisions for my next Ten Beach Road Novel, THE HOUSE ON MERMAID POINT, so despite my immersion in life at Downton Abbey and reports of snow accumulation across the nation, I’m in a very sunshine state of mind. Which is not bad considering that, as I write this at home in Georgia, it is an unseasonable 27 degrees. Yikes.

THE HOUSE ON MERMAID POINT is available for preorder and will be out just in time for July 4th weekend, but until then please do keep in touch via Facebook and my site. I’ll be sharing excerpts soon and plan to continue to host giveaways tied to the new book and to its predecessors, TEN BEACH ROAD and OCEAN BEACH. This month you can enter to win DVDs of the first three seasons of Downton Abbey—in case you’re still trying to catch up or just want to relive all that’s come before.

 

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December News from Wendy!

Hi!

I don’t know about you but I’m sort of taken aback by how the holidays crept up on me this year.  One minute I was planted in my desk chair enjoying fond memories of Labor Day weekend while finishing the manuscript for THE HOUSE ON MERMAID POINT, and the next, CHRISTMAS AT THE BEACH was released, and it was already the middle of October.  Halloween came along seemingly the next day and now even the Thanksgiving leftovers are long gone.  Which is only a problem because I so enjoy this time of year and don’t want it all to go so fast. I loved having our sons home from college in November and I’m already counting the days until they’ll be back. More and more each year I cherish the time spent with friends and family.

Here in Atlanta it’s far chillier than this former Floridian might like, and I’m happy to be snug inside working on revisions and day dreaming of the Keys where my new book is set.  

Being deep into revisions has another advantage.  It’s much easier for me to avoid spoilers floating across the pond about Season 4 of Downton Abbey.  I’ve done very well so far so please don’t say a word about what you may have heard or any sneak peeks you’ve enjoyed. The way time is going it will be January 5th in just a few minutes and all my avoidance of Downton plot twists will pay off big time as I settle in on Sunday nights to spend time with the Crawleys.

On the book front, WHILE WE WERE WATCHING DOWNTON ABBEY is, I’m happy to say, in its seventh printing and, on December 29th it’s going to be published for the first time as a mass market paperback.  Also, CHRISTMAS AT THE BEACH, which is my first novella and my first e-original, has received some very nice response from readers. It’s been gratifying that others have enjoyed catching up with the women of TEN BEACH ROAD as much as I did, and fun teasing about where the gang is headed next (Florida Keys!) and for whom (think rock star!) for the next installment of their reality show, Do Over. THE HOUSE ON MERMAID POINT will be out in July next year.

I hope you’ll take a moment to check out my contest page. To celebrate the holidays, the new season and the mass market release, my current contest offers two prizes to two different winners and includes a chance to win all three seasons of Downton Abbey (UK edition!) or, in honor of CHRISTMAS AT THE BEACH’S return to Bella Flora, a chance to win a “taste of Pass-a-Grille” basket of Florida’s famous citrus plus books, books, books!

As always, you’re also invited to join my email list for occasional notes about events and new books, register your book club or join me on Facebook, where I share news and enjoy the conversation with other readers and writers.

I have a feeling that 2014 is going to arrive before I’m ready just like the holidays have. In the meantime, I wish you and yours a happy and healthy holiday season filled with all good things and lots of great books!

To Buy…


 

I’d be thinner if I lived at Downton!

I’d be thinner if I lived at Downton!

Wendy Wax

As any writer who’s ever attempted to compose more than a grocery list will tell you, writing is a lonely and largely sedentary pursuit. Unless you can come up with a good enough excuse to evacuate your desk chair – something along the lines of a rapidly approaching natural disaster – you will be expected to remain seated for long periods of time. On most days you will exercise only your eyes, fingers, and, hopefully, your brain.

This makes writing a fattening occupation, which should probably come with a warning label from the surgeon general.

Because writing all too often feels like brain surgery without anesthesia, writers are among the most determined and experienced procrastinators I know. Some writers invest a lot of time and imagination into not writing (we do, after all, make things up for a living) but even more of us turn to food. And I’m not talking about preparing it!

My home is just slightly smaller than Highclere Castle, the real castle where where Downton Abbey is filmed.

Watching the popular PBS drama (which because I’ve written a novel titled WHILE WE WERE WATCHING DOWNTON ABBEY may be considered research and NOT procrastination) I realized right away that my kitchen (not to mention the pantry and refrigerator inside it) is way too close to my office.

I was watching Downton Abbey when I realized that if I were a member of the Crawley family, I would be a lot thinner.

First of all, I’ve never seen a scene where Lord Grantham and Lady Cora are standing in front of the fridge trying to decide what to snack on next. In fact, I’ve never seen them near the icebox at all. If I lived at Downton, I wouldn’t be in the kitchen so much either. I mean, who’s going to take all those stairs down to the servants’ hall every time the writing’s not going well? Especially when Mrs. Patmoor might slap your hands for helping yourself once you got there?

Plus it’s really crowded below stairs at Downton. Even if you managed to evade Mrs. Patmoor and Daisy, you could run into O’Brien and Thomas scheming in some corner. Or Anna and Bates stealing a kiss in a broom closet. Or Mrs. Hughes and Carson counting the silver while they shared a cup of tea.

And if you did pinch a stray leg of lamb or a leftover fruit tart and somehow smuggled it up all those stairs to your room how would dispose of the evidence with all those servants picking up after and taking care of you?

It could actually make food not worth the effort.

So let’s say this forced you to hold off until mealtime. You still wouldn’t be able to secretly load up your plate with an extra serving of duck. Or bury your face in a mound of treacle pie. Not when it’s being served by a footman while Carson, your tuxedoed and gowned family, and special invited guests look on.

If I were a member of the Crawley family, Mrs. Patmoor would probably make me low cal/ healthy meals if I asked for them. (Isn’t this why watercress was invented?) And I could walk the extensive castle grounds to burn calories from dusk to dawn.

But it’s not just the procrastinationary eating I’m worried about. There’s a lot of stress and rejection in publishing. And I’ve never seen a single Crawley call the chauffer to bring the car round so that he or she could go stuff his or her face at Mickey D’s.

I don’t know what qualified as ‘junk food’ in the Edwardian era. But I do know that at Downton comfort and sympathy come in the form of tea, which is too often served with tiny little cucumber sandwiches.

Yep, if I were a Crawley of Downton Abbey, I could probably give up my Weight Watchers’ membership and the calorie counting apps on my iPhone. But I’m not sure I could give up those trips through the takeout lane at McDonald’s.

DOWNTON ABBEY MADE ME DO IT!

I’ve enjoyed television programs before. In fact, there’ve been lots of shows that I’ve tuned in to on a regular basis. While researching my recent novels Ten Beach Road and Ocean Beach I needed to learn about design and construction and became exceedingly attached to HGTV. (For someone who belongs to a family that’s requires medical attention after using tools, this was a bit problematic.)

But I never wrote a novel because of a television series before. Downton Abbey made me do it.

One minute I was trying to catch up with the rest of the world by watching the first season (which I had somehow missed!) in a one-weekend marathon. The next I was imagining four very different characters and what might happen if they were brought together by the only show that made me wish the weekend would hurry up and end so Sunday night would get here.

The result is my new novel WHILE WE WERE WATCHING DOWNTON ABBEY, which has just been released in the United States by Penguin Publishing and will be released by Orion in the UK on August 29. (I’m very proud that I’ve made something Downton-related happen on this side of the pond first!)

I’m even prouder that WWWWDA appears to be the first novel written about the fans of Downton Abbey. (Or possibly any show.) I didn’t set out to do this—I was just trying to share my love for the series—but I’m glad I did. Because let’s face it, Downton fans rock!

And just as “opening night” jitters set in, early reviews started showing up.  I’m happy to say they’ve helped a lot with my stage fright. Claire Cook, author of Must Love Dogs and Time Flies, calls it “a tribute to the transformative power of female friendship,” and

RT Book Reviews says, “The show is simply the pop culture hook. . . [to]  create a realistic friendship of such depth and strength, even the Dowager Duchess would approve.”

From the Nightstand adds, “Wax creatively pulls together each character’s issues and connects it to the lives on the show. It is more than just a fun read or refreshing—it is just plain GOOD.”

USA Today called it, ‘Clever, fun… the title alone is enough to pick up the book.’

I hope that you’ll enjoy WHILE WE WERE WATCHING DOWNTON ABBEY. I’d like to think that for some readers it will help ease the pain of Downton Abbey withdrawal.

Alas, we have no choice but to do as Winston Churchill once advised. We’ll just have to look for ways to “Keep Calm and Carry On” while we wait to see what Julian Fellowes has in store for us.

 

Confessions of a Downton Abbey Addict

On Sale April 2nd!



Pre-Order WHILE WE WERE WATCHING DOWNTON ABBEY at:

Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Books-A-Million | Indiebound

I have an addiction. There, I’ve said it.

But before you get too concerned, my vice is Downton Abbey. Though it may not seem all that scary at first glance, for the love of a TV show I have forsaken meeting the girls for drinks, sent my husband out for takeout and my mani-pedi is way past due, but I just can’t help it.

My obsession has even affected my work. In fact, it led me to write a novel I never meant to write. WHILE WE WERE WATCHING DOWNTON ABBEY sprang from my need for more Downton. Writing this story about three women (and one British concierge) who are brought together by the PBS series gave me the perfect cover. First, I had to re-watch the first two seasons. (I mean, I had to, right? It was research.) Then I inhaled everything I could get my hands on about or related to the series including Julian Fellowes’ novel, Snobs, his niece’s The World of Downton Abbey, and the Countess of Carnarvon’s, Lady Almina and the Real Downton Abbey; the Lost Legacy of Highclere Castle.

You would think that would do it. That I could stop there… but no.

Articles and pictorials in People Magazine, TV Guide, Life & Style, and Woman’s World, came next. Still unable to stop, I set up Google Alerts and visited fan sites and blogs. It’s amazing what one will do to further one’s obsession. Er … I mean craft!

But now, the book is done. Due on shelves April 2nd. It’s time to move on.

But I just can’t go cold turkey. Especially not now when Lady Mary and Matthew are finally together. And Lady Edith has stopped whining and started to get a life. Not after Lord Grantham has proved so disappointingly stuck in his ways. Even the idea of weaning makes me queasy.

I console myself with the fact that 7.9 million people tuned in to the first episode of season three and the Internet is filled with posts, comments and articles about the series, its creator Julian Fellowes (my pusher) and its stars. I know I’m not alone.

I’ve made peace with my addiction. It’s something I have to live with. Alas, I can only hope that if your situation is as dire as mine that WHILE WE WERE WATCHING DOWNTON ABBEY will help. It may not be a cure, but at least it will satisfy your cravings in between seasons.

With that, I bid you good day. : )