Iman Refaat's Blog, page 16
March 11, 2017
#FabulousVeilsNovel#Open_Discussion
What role are you playing in your personal life? A manager or a leader?
March 10, 2017
8 Simple Steps to Become a Better Communicator
One of the fundamental skills we need to develop as social creatures are our Communication Skills. Many people think that communication is about speaking, while communication is a process between two parties, hence it includes both speaking and listening. In his ‘7 habits of highly effective people’, Stephen Covey introduced the 5th habit of “Seek first to understand then to be understood.” His habit was an eye opener, explaining that in order to have better conversations and relationships, we ought to listen first, understand, then express ourselves. I offer you 8 simple steps to become better communicators:
1- Listen first without interrupting
Attending a Leadership bootcamp for Covey in Egypt, he used ‘an Indian stick’ in a demo for his 5th habit. He passed the stick to the other person and made it clear that only the person with the stick is the one allowed to speak. He gave the stick to the other person to speak first.
2- Find an alternative for interruptions
Some people tend to interrupt fearing to forget what they want to say. If you face this challenge find an alternative to remember without interrupting the other person. Taking notes might be an option in case you find difficulty to remember.
3- Explain what you understood
When you receive the stick hold on and don’t dive into your side of the talk. Start first by repeating what you understood from the other person’s talk. This will make him/her feel heard and it will provide a chance to clarify any misunderstandings before moving to your side.
4- Speak and share your talk
How fantastic! According to Stephen Covey speaking is the 4th step in an effective communication. After making sure that you clearly understood the other person’s speech come your turn to speak. Make sure to hold the stick or the tool you will be using.
5- Check the understanding of the other person
When you’re done with your speech pass the stick to the other person and ask him/her to explain what he/she understood. Keep passing the stick till you both feel truly heard.
6- Compare the outcome of the communication process with your intention
Take few moments to reflect on what happened. Compare your aims from the conversation with the outcome. Consider the impact of this process on your relationship with the other person. How did it affect it?
7- Act based on the outcome
Decide on the actions you need to take. Will you need another ‘communication’ with the person to clarify things? Will you need to put some decisions into action? Identify the steps that need to be taken and work them out.
8- Pay attention to the unspoken
The process of ‘Verbal communication’ is an experience between human beings. It goes beyond the spoken words. Paying attention to the person’s tone of voice, breath, posture, pauses and energy level is as important as the spoken words themselves. Make sure to seek a deep understanding of the other person’s message. Be attentive to the unspoken. Be careful, don’t make assumptions. Always ask and check your understanding.
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply,” Stephen Covey. Change your life; join the few who seeks to understand.
March 9, 2017
Self-Leadership#Sharpening the Saw
“The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities,” Stephen Covey
March 8, 2017
#FabulousVeilsNovel#A Dream for Egypt
Writing a novel was my dream. Making it happen isn’t the end. It was just the start for big dreams and visions for my beloved country; Egypt. I have dreams, not just one. It’s time to make the next one happen; the social revival.
March 7, 2017
Coaching in Brief..
“All Coaching is, is taking a player where he can’t take himself.” Bill McCartney
One of the most frequent questions my friends, peers and students ask me is “What will you be doing as a Coach?”
Well, to put it as simple and clear as possible, better to start with this introductory article and the 2 following questions:
1- What is Coaching?
2- How does it happen?
1- What’s Coaching?
“Coaching is the mobilizing of a client’s resources to an agreed outcome that unleashes the talents, passions, and potentials of that client so that he or she can experience more, be more, know and feel more, do more, contribute more, and have more.”
Unlike Therapists and Counsellors who deal with problems and explore the past, Coaches facilitate for their clients the process of reaching specific desired outcomes in the future while unleashing the clients’ present potentials.
2- How does it happen?
Through a very focused conversation that primarily uses questions and meta-questions to get to the heart of things and facilitate change and transformation.
Coaching is about the transformation of performance, beliefs and values, meanings and directions and so is about performance change, evolutionary change, and revolutionary change. While performance change focuses on behaviours, evolutionary change focuses on meanings and perceptions and revolutionary change focuses on missions, visions and life purposes.
“Coaching is all about having someone believe in you and encourage you , about getting valuable feedback , about seeing things from new perspectives and getting your sights on new horizons ,” Author unknown
References:
Coaching Mastery Training Manual, 2017 edition. L. Michael Hall, PH. D.
March 6, 2017
#FabulousVeilsNovel#Book Review
“Fabulous Veils is a stop sign against all female oppression. It is an alarm to think of the actions we do to our female surrounding imaging that we are protecting them, while we might be banning them from having a better chance in life.
I got involved with the three main different female characters from the very beginning. What was really socking that women were more accused to show oppression and discrimination against each other more severally than men do.”
March 5, 2017
Crisis, do you wait for it to be forced to act? Or do you...
Crisis, do you wait for it to be forced to act? Or do you stay attentive to what needs to be done and take charge of it before it falls apart?
We’re all managers, no matter how old we are and to which social standard do we belong. Despite our gender and whether we work or not, we’re all managers. Managing the “Self”.
Self-management, according to Oxford Dictionary of English, is: “management of or by oneself; the taking of responsibility for one’s own behaviour and well-being”. And this ‘taking of responsibility’ is a skill that people can learn, practice, develop and master.
In our crazy-busy-rushing-crushing world, Self-management became a key skill. Not only it involves time management and goal settings, it goes way beyond. It enables us to develop our motivation and avoid stress. And most of all it involves Self-regulation which means monitoring, controlling and directing our own attitudes about and for ourselves.
In my first novel, Fabulous Veils, it was both expected and accepted that Fatma, the vulnerable illiterate help, to lack self-management skills and to let things happen without interfering or monitoring. It was accepted that she acts like a poor manager; waiting for things to happen to her, and only to react with the one attitude she mastered; acceptance.
When it came to Gameela, the well-educated architect who graduated from a French school and belonged to a B-class family, it was annoying. Readers were torn between empathy and anger. They wanted to hug her and punch her at the same time. And why was that? For her poor Self-management skills. She called it love and readers called it passivity.
In a society where women were raised up to do ‘what should be done’, not what they ‘want to do’, where they learn that the only approved self-talk is the negative talk of guilt, shame and blame, Gameela was just one out millions.
To lead a revival we need to develop our self-management skills. We need to choose what we want. We need to stop giving excuses. We need to exert control over what we can. We need to motivate ourselves to speak out our truth. We need to pay attention to our emotions and thoughts. We need to evaluate our attitudes and reinforce positive ones. We need to manage the “Self” which is way more precious than the body and its biological needs.
John N. Mitchell said it best when he said that, “Our attitude toward life determines life’s attitude towards us.”
March 4, 2017
#FabulousVeilsNovel#Open_Discussion
#FabulousVeilsNovel#Open_Discussion
We’re all managers. How good are you in managing yourself?
March 3, 2017
Change Your Life# Life Skills #Intro
As an Educator, a Trainer, a Leader and a Personal Coach I constantly meet people who have a lot to share and give and yet they keep it for themselves, due to a lack of skills.
To reach success, whether on the personal or the professional level, people need to develop a set of skills which would enable them to share their talents and express their uniqueness.
In my new series I will be introducing several life skills from what I read, what I learned and what I gained from my experiences. Communication, Problem solving, Thinking, Time management, Decision making, are examples for the skills I will be presenting.
While attending my Coaching certification I was asked to write how I see people. “People are treasures waiting to be unfolded,” I wrote. In my new series I wish to be a guide who equips others with the tools they need to unleash their potentials, play big and live happily.
March 2, 2017
Self Leadership#De-stressing
“We must never be too busy to take time to sharpen the saw,” Stephen R. Covey
