Christopher Moore's Blog, page 8
April 13, 2009
The Pirate Tweets _ Or How I Burned My Monday Morning
The Pirate Tweets - Or How I Burned My Monday Morning
I was watching the news, having my coffee, and suddenly, these started to happen:
# After Somali Pirates vow revenge Ninjas announce super revenge, “But you will never know where it comes from,” said a Ninja spokesman. 3 hours ago from Twidget
# Pirates vow that Ninja revenge will be totally lame. “Running around in black PJs is not badass. Pirate ships are,” says pirate spokesman. 3 hours ago from Twidget
# “We will kill them and fuc
April 10, 2009
A Week of Tweets
Okay, I’ve been on Twitter a little over a week. I’m not convinced, but for those of you who read my un-micro blog, here’s what I tweeted. (That’s such a wussy verb.)
Candy Porn Stars: Big Hunk, Bubblicious, Whoppers, Bit-O-Honey, Blow Pops, Slo Pokes, Squirrel Nut Zippers, Sweet Tarts, Pop Rocks and Zotz
Characters from my Pimp Movie: Good-n-Plenty, Hot Tamale, Skittles, Nutty Buddy, Snickers, Malomar, Ho Ho, Carmello + Abba Zabba, terrorist
New Species in Middle Earth that Might Go Unnoticed
April 9, 2009
The Authorguy Answers Your Questions
Well kids, you submitted your questions and here’s your answers. Submit your questions in the comments for the next edition, and remember, it doesn’t have to be about me. The AuthorGuy knows all, and what he doesn’t know, he will totally make up some shit about…
Rabbit inquires:
How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?
AuthorGuy: I would tell you, but then you’d have no reason to go on living. Just be satisfied that you would not want to see a wood chuck chuck wood
April 4, 2009
FAQs from the FOOL TOUR
FOOL TOUR FAQS
Hey kids, I finally finished all the scheduled events for the Fool tour. Thanks to everyone who came so I thought I’d address all the questions you asked and didn’t get to ask while I was out there.
1. You’re taller than I thought you’d be.
1. That’s not a question.
2: Okay. How come you don’t go on Jon Stewart.
2. They haven’t asked me because Jon Stewart doesn’t care about white people.
3. How come you didn’t come to my town?
3. Because I don’t care about white people.
4.
