Angela Ackerman's Blog: Writers Helping Writers, page 8

Character Secret Thesaurus: Fleeing a Crime Scene

What secret is your character keeping? Why are they safeguarding it? What���s at stake if it���s discovered? Does it need to come out at some point, or should it remain hidden?

This is some of the important information you need to know about your character���s secrets���and they will have secrets, because everyone does. They���re thorny little time bombs composed of fear, deceit, stress, and conflict that, when detonated, threaten to destroy everything the character holds dear.

So, of course, you should assemble them. And we can���t wait to help.

This thesaurus provides brainstorming fodder for a host of secrets that could plague your character. Use it to explore possible secrets, their underlying causes, how they might play into the overall story, and how to realistically write a character who is hiding them���all while establishing reader empathy and interest.

For instance, let���s see what it might look like if your character���

Fled a Crime Scene

ABOUT THIS SECRET: Fleeing a crime scene���on purpose or unintentionally���is a secret that clings like gunshot residue. The character might not have committed the crime, but being there at the wrong time makes them look guilty, or at the very least, deeply suspicious. Staying silent isn���t just about avoiding legal trouble, it���s about dodging the endless fallout���like being blacklisted from jobs, losing friends, or becoming the hot gossip at every dinner party.

SPECIFIC��FEARS��THAT MAY DRIVE THE NEED FOR SECRECY: Being Attacked, Being Unsafe, Being Watched, Government, Letting Others Down, Losing One���s Social Standing, Losing the Respect of Others, Not Being Believed, Rejection, Trusting Others

HOW THIS SECRET COULD HOLD THE CHARACTER BACK
Being fearful of situations similar to where the crime was committed
Avoiding public activities out of fear a witness may recognize and out them
Fearing that if they come forward, they���ll face legal and social repercussions or jail time
Close relationships being compromised due to the character���s dishonesty about what happened

BEHAVIORS OR HABITS THAT HELP HIDE THIS SECRET
Destroying evidence that places them at the scene of the crime
Avoiding the location where the crime was committed to prevent being recognized
Lying about their whereabouts during the time of the crime
Breaking off contact with anyone who may suspect the truth
Becoming isolated out of fear for their own safety

ACTIVITIES OR TENDENCIES THAT MAY RAISE SUSPICIONS
Exhibiting avoidance tendencies when the topic comes up with a partner or spouse
Lying ���tells��� being activated when topics around the event come up���e.g., excessive sweating, stammering, or not making eye contact
Becoming obsessed with the victim
Being unable to explain evidence that points to a crime (a crumpled fender, bloodstains on a shirt, bruised knuckles, etc.)

SITUATIONS THAT MAKE KEEPING THIS SECRET A CHALLENGE��
Being asked directly about the events surrounding the crime
An accomplice wanting to confess
Being connected to the setting or people involved in the crime in a way that others know about
Being roped into the investigation because of their connection to an involved party, one of the investigators, or another witnesses

Other Secret Thesaurus entries can be found here. Need More Descriptive Help?

While this thesaurus is still being developed, the rest of our descriptive collection (18 unique thesauri and growing) is accessible through the One Stop for Writers THESAURUS database.

If you like, swing by and check out the video walkthrough for this site, then give our Free Trial a spin.

The post Character Secret Thesaurus: Fleeing a Crime Scene appeared first on WRITERS HELPING WRITERS��.

I Tried a BookBub Featured Deal���Here���s What Happened

I���d always heard that landing a Bookbub deal could really help with marketing your book.

I’d tried a couple of times before with no luck. But recently, I submitted my historical fantasy, The Curse of King Midas, and was selected for a BookBub Featured Deal.

But there was a catch���it wasn���t for the U.S. market. My deal was for international readers only.

When I realized that, I wasn’t so sure about moving forward. I did some research and then decided to go for it.

In this article, I’ll discuss my experience, share my results, and tell you whether it was worth it.

How Much Does a BookBub Featured Deal Cost?

Cost is one of the biggest factors in deciding whether to apply for a BookBub deal. Prices vary depending on several factors:

Your book���s genreThe price of your book during the promotionWhether your deal includes the U.S. or is international only

For my deal, I promoted a fantasy novel at $0.99 (the second-lowest pricing tier available, after ���free���). My international-only deal (which included the United Kingdom, Canada, and Australia) cost $196.

The price would have been significantly higher if I had been selected to include the U.S. Since this was my first experience with Bookbub’s featured deals, I was kind of glad to have been chosen for international only. It gave me a chance to see what the deal would do for me without spending as much as a U.S. deal would cost.

The trade-off between price and royalties is important to consider. A lower-priced book will sell more copies but yield lower earnings per sale. (At 99 cents per book, I earned only about 30 cents per copy, for example.) Plus, the Bookbub featured deal costs less.

A higher-priced book (you can go up to $4.99) means fewer sales but greater royalties per copy. It also means a higher price for the Bookbub deal, though. (You can find the prices here.)

I���ve also heard that you have a better chance of being selected for a Bookbub deal as an indie author if you price your book on the lower end of the spectrum.

I opted for the $0.99 price point because my primary goal was to increase readership rather than maximize immediate earnings���and I wanted to improve my chances of being accepted for the deal.

What Was My Goal with This Bookbub Featured Deal?

My main objective was to introduce more readers to The Midas Legacy series before the release of Book II in June (2025). I wanted to get my book into as many hands as possible so new readers could discover the series. I was hoping to earn some of my money back, but I wasn���t overly concerned with breaking even or turning a profit from this deal alone.

Results from My BookBub
Featured Deal

BookBub estimates that a deal like mine (in the fantasy genre) could result in between 10 and 2,250 copies sold. Thankfully, I sold more than ten! Considering my book remains relatively unknown to the general fantasy audience, I feel pretty good about the results.

My BookBub email went out on February 12th, and by the end of the next day (February 13th), here were my total sales:

124 copies sold (all ebook)Amazon: 102 copiesDraft2Digital: 22 copiesTotal royalties earned: $46.93Amazon: $36.40Draft2Digital: $10.53

By the end of the day on February 15th, I had sold 50 copies total on Draft2Digital (all international buyers), bringing my Draft2Digital earnings up to $23.24. Additionally, I sold eight more copies on Amazon (not counting U.S. sales), adding roughly $2.40 to my total Amazon royalties (I���m not sure how the exchange rates may affect this).

Updated Totals:

Total books sold (excluding U.S.): 160 copiesTotal royalties earned: $62.04

(A few more sales trickled in later on that I didn���t include here.)

Since this was an international-only deal, I���m counting only UK, Australia, and Canada sales. I did have some U.S. sales at the same time, as I ran a concurrent 99-cent deal in the U.S. to take advantage of the opportunity. (I sold nearly 200 books with the deals combined.) I’m not counting those sales here, though, as they were not due to the Bookbub international deal.

Was My BookBub Featured Deal Worth It?

Based on my primary goal���introducing more readers to my series���I���d say yes, it was worth it.

Did I make all my money back? No. I spent $196 and earned $62.04 in direct royalties, meaning I recouped about 31% of my investment. But that wasn���t the only metric I was tracking.

Here���s why I still consider this deal a success:New Readers Found My Book ��� 160+ new people in international markets now own my book. Some of them may read it, love it, and go on to buy Book II when it releases in June. That���s my hope, anyway!Potential Long-Term Impact ��� I���ll be watching to see if I gain new reviews, email subscribers, or follow-up sales in the coming months.Exposure in Key Markets ��� The UK, Australia, and Canada all performed well. These are valuable markets for fantasy books, so getting my foot in the door was beneficial.

Would I do it again? Possibly! If I see strong engagement from the readers who picked up my book, I’d consider another international deal���or, ideally, a U.S. BookBub deal to see how it compares.

If I do get another chance, I think I may go for a higher price point. One drawback of the 99 cents is that many readers will purchase, but then not read the book. They���ll leave it to languish on their ereaders. A higher price point may result in fewer sales, but inspire purchases from readers ready to read���though I���m not certain on this.

If you���re a writer considering a BookBub international deal, I hope my experience helps you decide whether it���s the right move for your books!

Note: Get more articles, free reports, and free chapters of Colleen���s award-winning books when you sign up for her motivational newsletter for writers!

The post I Tried a BookBub Featured Deal���Here���s What Happened appeared first on WRITERS HELPING WRITERS��.

How to Use Writing Prompts to ���Unstick��� Writer���s Block

By Savannah Cordova

Stop me if you���ve heard this one: you���re at your desk, laptop or notebook open, hours stretching out before you��� but you can���t seem to get the words down. You feel stuck, hopeless, and incapable of moving forward; in other words, you���ve got writer���s block.

Luckily, there are countless methods out there to combat this condition ��� and one of the best ways is to use writing prompts. As a judge for Reedsy Prompts, a weekly prompts-based competition, I���ve seen firsthand how our prompts have inspired hundreds of thousands of writers around the world ��� how they can spark creativity and get you out of even the worst of slumps!

On that note, this post will explore how you can use prompts to push through your slump and help you get back into the flow of writing.

First Off: What Causes Writer���s Block?

Before we dive into the prompt stuff, it may help to identify the root cause of your own writer���s block. That way, you���ll know exactly how to adjust your mindset ��� and select the right prompts ��� to defeat it! Here are some reasons why you might be struggling:

You���re obsessed with perfection.

As a perfectionist myself, I understand how the desire to create something flawless can become a huge roadblock. I often fixate on the tiniest details, ending up in an infinite cycle of editing and rewriting. If you also identify as a perfectionist, you���ve probably experienced moments of doubt and creative paralysis ��� and you���ll need some fun, even silly writing prompts to help you loosen up and move forward!

You can���t focus.

One of the more mundane causes of writer���s block ��� and another one I���ve experienced myself ��� is simply the inability to focus. Particularly when you hit a less interesting part of your writing (often called the ���muddy middle���), you���ll find it much easier to get distracted. In this situation, you need a prompt that doesn���t take you away from your story, but instead feeds back into it; for example, you could look at some character questions or worldbuilding prompts to reignite your interest and re-focus on your story.

You lack inspiration.

Lastly, if you don���t have clear direction or motivation, you���ll inevitably come to a standstill as you write. Experiencing this kind of creative drought is beyond frustrating, and you might even feel like giving up ��� in which case you���ll need a Hail-Mary prompt, something so irresistible that it gives you a whole new catalyst to create!

With all that in mind, let���s look at four types of prompts and why these types are so useful for providing inspiration and ���unsticking��� writer���s block.

1. Conflict prompts

Getting into these key categories, ���conflict��� prompts are ��� as one would expect ��� prompts that introduce a challenge or problem for your characters to navigate. Whether the conflict is internal (���Center your story around someone facing their biggest fear���) or external (���An apologetic letter or email from an old flame suddenly arrives ��� many years too late���), this can really help you consider how your character(s) would respond and grow when faced with a tricky situation.

Perfect for: Writers who are stuck on ���what should happen next?��� in their plots.

2. Setting prompts

These prompts focus on a particular environment or place ��� bonus points if you choose a type of setting you���ve never written about before! Some prompts of this ilk include: ���Write a story set in a world of darkness where light is suddenly discovered��� or ���Set your story in a place where the weather never changes.��� As you can gather, setting prompts don���t have to focus on location alone; they can also give you the building blocks of a dystopian world, for example, or a place where a setting���s physical elements are uncontrollable.

Perfect for: Writers who want to start something brand-new, particularly with different genre conventions. (For example, if you���re blocked on a literary fiction project, try a setting prompt ��� and then challenge yourself to write a sci-fi or fantasy story!)

3. Dialogue prompts

Dialogue prompts give writers a straightforward starting point, yet at the same time, allow them to go in basically any direction they���d like. Prompts like ���Start or end your story with a character asking a question��� or ���Write a story that includes the line, ���Is nobody going to say it?������ are great conversation starters to show not just characters��� emotions, but also their values, desires, and even their fears.

Perfect for: Writers who need to reveal something about their characters, but aren���t sure how to do it organically.

4. Genre-specific prompts

Lastly, genre prompts are incredibly useful for anyone who wants to explore the signature themes, tropes, and styles of a given genre. Mystery, thriller, dark fantasy, romance��� there are so many out there! Trying out a prompt like ���Write a story where the laws of time and space begin to dissolve��� or ���Write a story about two characters who like each other, but don���t get a happily ever after��� might even lead you to discover a love for a genre you never knew before.

Perfect for: Writers looking to sharpen their skills in a specific genre, whether that���s their ���typical��� genre or not!

If none of these speak to you, you can always browse our full archive of 2,000+ prompts ��� with plenty more filters ��� from past Reedsy Prompts contests.

3 More Tips for Using Prompts Effectively

There aren���t any set rules when it comes to incorporating writing prompts into your routine; indeed, if you���re trying to tackle writer���s block, you should do whatever it takes! However, if you���d like some final bits of advice ��� particularly if you haven���t worked much with prompts before, and feel apprehensive about it ��� read on.

Start small.

When trying something new, it���s almost always best to ease into it; this helps reduce the pressure and bolster your motivation to continue. In that vein, start by dedicating just a few minutes each day to writing prompts, writing on 1-2 simple prompts at a time to avoid feeling overwhelmed. Over time, you���ll be able to take on more complex prompts and extend your writing sessions without breaking a sweat.

Set a timer.

Additionally, to ensure you don���t spend more time on writing prompts than the actual writing you need to do, grab your phone and give yourself only 5-15 minutes per prompt. This is also a great way to stay motivated ��� instead of wasting precious seconds looking out your window or staring at your ceiling, you���ll feel more compelled to write something ��� anything!

Keep it free-form.

Remember, no one needs to see what you���ve written besides you, so don���t feel the need to adhere to a certain structure or style. Instead, take this opportunity to experiment with new perspectives, hybrid forms (such as prose poems), punctuation, generic conventions��� whatever floats your boat! Just let it all out ��� this is all about having fun, trying new things, and seeing where your writing takes you.

Finally, don���t forget that writer’s block happens to everyone; the good news is that it���s only temporary. With so many different tools and strategies to defeat writer’s block, you can push past any slow or rough periods and come out feeling even more invigorated than before. You���ve got this ��� wishing you the best of luck.

Savannah Cordova is a writer with Reedsy, a marketplace that connects authors and publishers with the world���s best editors, designers, and marketers. In her spare time, Savannah enjoys reading contemporary fiction and writing short stories. You can read more of her professional work on Litreactor and the Reedsy blog.

The post How to Use Writing Prompts to ���Unstick��� Writer���s Block appeared first on WRITERS HELPING WRITERS��.

Character Secret Thesaurus: Being an Anonymous Financial Donor

What secret is your character keeping? Why are they safeguarding it? What���s at stake if it���s discovered? Does it need to come out at some point, or should it remain hidden?

This is some of the important information you need to know about your character���s secrets���and they will have secrets, because everyone does. They���re thorny little time bombs composed of fear, deceit, stress, and conflict that, when detonated, threaten to destroy everything the character holds dear.

So, of course, you should assemble them. And we can���t wait to help.

This thesaurus provides brainstorming fodder for a host of secrets that could plague your character. Use it to explore possible secrets, their underlying causes, how they might play into the overall story, and how to realistically write a character who is hiding them���all while establishing reader empathy and interest.

For instance, let���s see what it might look like if your character���

Made an Anonymous Financial Donation

ABOUT THIS SECRET: There could be many reasons your character decides to support a particular person or organization anonymously. Their altruistic actions may be offset by the desire to avoid being solicited for donations by others. If the recipient is controversial in some way, the donor want to support them without inviting undue conflict. Keeping the peace could also be a motivator if certain relatives wouldn���t be happy about money leaving the family coffers.

SPECIFIC FEARS THAT MAY DRIVE THE NEED FOR SECRECY: Being Judged, Being Labeled, Being Taken Advantage of, Being Watched, Conditional Love, Conflict, Criticism, Discrimination, Letting Others Down, Losing One’s Social Standing, Losing the Respect of Others, Putting Oneself Out There, Rejection, Trusting Others

HOW THIS SECRET COULD HOLD THE CHARACTER BACK
Being identified with selfishness and stinginess instead of generosity
Having to hide their true allegiances
Not being able to publicly embrace the recipient and engage with others who are likeminded

BEHAVIORS OR HABITS THAT HELP HIDE THIS SECRET
Never mentioning the person or organization they���ve donated to
Donating the money from a secret or foreign account
Starting a rumor that the donation was made by someone else
Feigning support for people or organizations whose values or goals are opposed to those of the recipient

ACTIVITIES OR TENDENCIES THAT MAY RAISE SUSPICIONS
Money being withdrawn from their bank account with no paper trail
The organization sending the character literature via the contact information provided when donating
Someone discovering the character���s alias or pseudonym
Having meetings with a lawyer for the organization

SITUATIONS THAT MAKE KEEPING THIS SECRET A CHALLENGE 
The character being audited
The family falling on hard times and needing money that���s no longer there
A letter of gratitude coming in the mail
The money being used for something the donor didn���t intend

Other Secret Thesaurus entries can be found here. Need More Descriptive Help?

While this thesaurus is still being developed, the rest of our descriptive collection (18 unique thesauri and growing) is accessible through the One Stop for Writers THESAURUS database.

If you like, swing by and check out the video walkthrough for this site, then give our Free Trial a spin.

The post Character Secret Thesaurus: Being an Anonymous Financial Donor appeared first on WRITERS HELPING WRITERS��.

Writing 101: Dialogue Mechanics

Strong dialogue isn���t just about the words being said���it���s also about how those words are presented on the page.

If you���re newer to writing, there���s a lot to learn about storytelling���from big-picture techniques like show-don���t-tell to the more foundational aspects surrounding punctuation and capitalization. The technical part of writing isn���t very sexy, so we don���t talk much about it. But knowing those basics is super important if we want to write stories that contribute to the reader���s experience instead of interfering with it. And Angela and I want to make sure Writers Helping Writers offers help for authors at all stages and experience levels.

So today I���m starting a new 101 Series surrounding the foundational skills I see writers struggling with the most. Each post will cover a key element of fiction writing, and we���re starting off with dialogue mechanics���because even the most interesting conversations can fall flat if they aren���t written correctly. Poorly drafted dialogue can make the writing clunky, drag the pace, or cause confusion for readers, all of which can pull them out of the story. And no one wants that.

If you���ve ever struggled with where the punctuation goes (inside or outside the quotes?), when to use a comma vs. a period, or when to start a new paragraph in a scene of dialogue, you���re not alone, and this post is for you.

A Few Definitions

Before getting into the common dialogue mistakes, let���s identify three key elements of any good written conversation.

Dialogue: The actual words spoken by a character. (“I can���t believe it.“)Dialogue Tag: A phrase that identifies the speaker. (���I can���t believe it,��� she said.)Dialogue Beat: An action that accompanies the words being spoken. (���I can���t believe it.” Becca threw the bag of chips in the trash.)

Tags and beats are important because they���re a vital part of our real-life conversations. Including them breaks up the dialogue, creates rhythm, clarifies for readers who���s saying what, and makes the interaction between characters more authentic.

Now that we���re clear on the terminology associated with a passage of dialogue, let���s talk about the familiar stumbling blocks.

1. Proper Punctuation and Capitalization

First, let me start with a disclaimer that the rules I’ll be referencing are specific to American English. I know we have readers in Britain and Canada and many other places where English is used but the rules are slightly different. But because I don’t use the other versions and can’t speak to proper usage, and because the majority of our readers are using American English for their manuscripts and submissions, I’ll be focusing on that today.

So, in American English, always use double quotes for dialogue. Single quotes have their own purpose, but they shouldn���t be used as the main marks for dialogue.

When it comes to the rest of the punctuation for a line of dialogue���well, that depends on the sentence structure.

Complete Sentences with Tags

We know a complete sentence has a subject and verb that conveys a complete thought. In dialogue, you can determine if the sentence is complete by removing the tag or beat and just looking at the words inside the quotation marks.

When a complete sentence of dialogue is accompanied by a tag, the sentence should be punctuated as follows:

���I love these chips,��� she said.

Because the tag is part of the sentence, the period goes at the end, after ���said.��� The dialogue portion ends with a comma (since it���s not the end of the sentence yet), and the tag begins with a lowercase letter because it���s in the middle of the sentence.

If the dialogue consists of a question instead of a statement, use a question mark instead of a comma inside the quotation marks. The period still goes at the end. And if you���re using someone���s name instead of a pronoun, it should be obviously capitalized.

“Do you like pickle chips?” Angela asked.
“Pickle chips make me barf,” Becca said.

A Complete Sentence with the Tag in the Middle

If a dialogue tag comes in the middle of a sentence, treat it as an interruption to the complete sentence, and use commas to separate it:

“I think,” she said, “barbecue flavor is the best.”

Note that the punctuation before the closing quotation mark in each segment is inside the marks. Also, because this is one complete sentence, the only capital letter is at the beginning. The exception would be if the tag contained a proper noun (Becca said); then the noun would be capitalized, too.

Sentences with Beats Instead of Tags

Beats are meant to stand alone and should usually be written in complete sentences themselves.

Angela shook her head. ���I really don���t understand you.���

The beat is a complete sentence, and so is the dialogue. So both elements start with a capital and end with a period (or question mark or exclamation point as needed).

2. A Word About Thoughts

While we���re talking about different kinds of dialogue, let���s look quickly at thoughts. Because they aren���t spoken, they shouldn���t have quotation marks. However, the formatting is different depending on whether the thought is direct or indirect.

Direct Thoughts capture the character���s exact thoughts and are always italicized. Notice that any tags aren���t italicized (because the tag isn���t part of the character���s actual thought).

Please, no more, I thought.

Enough with the dad jokes.

Indirect Thoughts summarize what the character is thinking. Because they���re not exact thoughts, they aren���t italicized and are formatted like regular text.

She thought he was quite tasty.

He really hoped she wasn���t interested in him that way.

3. When Should a New Paragraph Start?

A common area of struggle in dialogue is knowing when to start a new paragraph. It���s an important question because if we get this wrong, the reader is confused about who���s saying and doing what:

���No car for a week?��� Ivy���s voice squeaked into the stratosphere. ���That���s ridiculous!��� her brother said. ���Everybody just calm down.���

But when we start a new paragraph each time the speaker changes, things become much clearer.

���No car for a week?��� Ivy���s voice squeaked into the stratosphere.
���That���s ridiculous!��� Jacob said.
���Everybody just calm down.���

This rule holds true for beats, too. If Character 2 does something while Character 1 is talking, that action needs to go into its own paragraph.

���So I hit a mailbox,��� Ivy said. ���Also, the shepherd in the church’s nativity scene is now sheep-less.”
Her mother closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath.
“And I may have taken out Mr. Henderson���s azaleas���but that totally wasn���t my fault!���

4. Interruptions and Hesitations

Real-life dialogue is full of interruptions, stops and starts, and people talking over each other. Your characters��� conversations should be no different. Luckily, the punctuation for each of these is pretty simple.

Use Em Dashes for Interruptions

When your character���s being interrupted, use an em dash (���) inside the quotation marks to show their words are being cut off. This is true whether the interruption comes in the form of someone’s words or actions.

Her mom���s eyebrows shot upward. ���The azaleas? Ivy������
���It was a squirrel,��� Jacob sputtered. ���A deranged, kamikaze squirrel that fell out of a tree and stumbled right into the road. It was rabid, foaming at the mouth������
Ivy shoved him. ���You���re not helping.���

Use an Ellipse for Hesitations

Interruptions indicate a clean break, with the person���s speech abruptly stopping. Hesitations are more, well���hesitant. If there���s a pause in your character���s speech, or if their dialogue trails off slowly rather than bluntly, use an ellipse.

���Seemed deranged,��� Jacob mumbled. ���Stumbling���middle of traffic…��� He rubbed the back of his neck and decided Ivy could fight her own battles.

Clean Dialogue Makes for Stronger Writing and Easier Reading

The mechanics of dialogue may not be the most exciting thing to study but mastering them makes your story easier to read and understand. The good news is that, like most elements of writing, the more you incorporate proper punctuation, capitalization, and paragraphing into your dialogue, the easier it gets. Then you can move on to higher level techniques that will make your characters��� conversations authentic, engaging, and full of added depth���techniques that we���ll discuss in our next 101 post.

For more help with the nitty-gritty of dialogue (and other) mechanics, give English Grammar for Dummies a try.
(affiliate link)

The post Writing 101: Dialogue Mechanics appeared first on WRITERS HELPING WRITERS��.

101: Dialogue Mechanics

Strong dialogue isn���t just about the words being said���it���s also about how those words are presented on the page.

If you���re newer to writing, there���s a lot to learn about storytelling���from big-picture techniques like show-don���t-tell to the more foundational aspects surrounding punctuation and capitalization. The technical part of writing isn���t very sexy, so we don���t talk much about it. But knowing those basics is super important if we want to write stories that contribute to the reader���s experience instead of interfering with it. And Angela and I want to make sure Writers Helping Writers offers help for authors at all stages and experience levels.

So today I���m starting a new 101 Series surrounding the foundational skills I see writers struggling with the most. Each post will cover a key element of fiction writing, and we���re starting off with dialogue mechanics���because even the most interesting conversations can fall flat if they aren���t written correctly. Poorly drafted dialogue can make the writing clunky, drag the pace, or cause confusion for readers, all of which can pull them out of the story. And no one wants that.

If you���ve ever struggled with where the punctuation goes (inside or outside the quotes?), when to use a comma vs. a period, or when to start a new paragraph in a scene of dialogue, you���re not alone, and this post is for you.

A Few Definitions

Before getting into the common dialogue mistakes, let���s identify three key elements of any good written conversation.

Dialogue: The actual words spoken by a character. (“I can���t believe it.“)Dialogue Tag: A phrase that identifies the speaker. (���I can���t believe it,��� she said.)Dialogue Beat: An action that accompanies the words being spoken. (���I can���t believe it.” Becca threw the bag of chips in the trash.)

Tags and beats are important because they���re a vital part of our real-life conversations. Including them breaks up the dialogue, creates rhythm, clarifies for readers who���s saying what, and makes the interaction between characters more authentic.

Now that we���re clear on the terminology associated with a passage of dialogue, let���s talk about the familiar stumbling blocks.

1. Proper Punctuation and Capitalization

First, always use double quotes for dialogue. Single quotes have their own purpose, but they shouldn���t be used as the main marks for dialogue.

When it comes to the rest of the punctuation for a line of dialogue���well, that depends on the sentence structure.

Complete Sentences with Tags

We know a complete sentence has a subject and verb that conveys a complete thought. In dialogue, you can determine if the sentence is complete by removing the tag or beat and just looking at the words inside the quotation marks.

When a complete sentence of dialogue is accompanied by a tag, the sentence should be punctuated as follows:

���I love these chips,��� she said.

Because the tag is part of the sentence, the period goes at the end, after ���said.��� The dialogue portion ends with a comma (since it���s not the end of the sentence yet), and the tag begins with a lowercase letter because it���s in the middle of the sentence.

If the dialogue consists of a question instead of a statement, use a question mark instead of a comma inside the quotation marks. The period still goes at the end. And if you���re using someone���s name instead of a pronoun, it should be obviously capitalized.

“Do you like pickle chips?” Angela asked.
“Pickle chips make me barf,” Becca said.

A Complete Sentence with the Tag in the Middle

If a dialogue tag comes in the middle of a sentence, treat it as an interruption to the complete sentence, and use commas to separate it:

“I think,” Becca said, “barbecue flavor is the best.”

Note that the punctuation before the closing quotation mark in each segment is inside the marks. Also, because this is one complete sentence, the only capital letter is at the beginning.

Sentences with Beats Instead of Tags

Beats are meant to stand alone and should usually be written in complete sentences themselves.

Angela shook her head. ���I really don���t understand you.���

The beat is a complete sentence, and so is the dialogue. So both elements start with a capital and end with a period (or question mark or exclamation point as needed).

2. A Word About Thoughts

While we���re talking about different kinds of dialogue, let���s look quickly at thoughts. Because they aren���t spoken, they shouldn���t have quotation marks. However, the formatting is different depending on whether the thought is direct or indirect.

Direct Thoughts capture the character���s exact thoughts and are always italicized. Notice that any tags aren���t italicized (because the tag isn���t part of the character���s actual thought).

Please, no more, I thought.

Enough with the dad jokes.

Indirect Thoughts summarize what the character is thinking. Because they���re not exact thoughts, they aren���t italicized and are formatted like regular text.

She thought he was quite tasty.

He really hoped she wasn���t interested in him that way.

3. When Should a New Paragraph Start?

A common area of struggle in dialogue is knowing when to start a new paragraph. It���s an important question because if we get this wrong, the reader is confused about who���s saying and doing what:

���No car for a week?��� Ivy���s voice squeaked into the stratosphere. ���That���s ridiculous!��� her brother said. ���Everybody just calm down.���

But when we start a new paragraph each time the speaker changes, things become much clearer.

���No car for a week?��� Ivy���s voice squeaked into the stratosphere.
���That���s ridiculous!��� Jacob said.
���Everybody just calm down.���

This rule holds true for beats, too. If Character 2 does something while Character 1 is talking, that action needs to go into its own paragraph.

���So I hit a mailbox,��� Ivy said. ���Also, the shepherd in the church’s nativity scene is now sheep-less.”
Her mother closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath.
“And I may have taken out Mr. Henderson���s azaleas���but that totally wasn���t my fault!���

4. Interruptions and Hesitations

Real-life dialogue is full of interruptions, stops and starts, and people talking over each other. Your characters��� conversations should be no different. Luckily, the punctuation for each of these is pretty simple.

Use Em Dashes for Interruptions

When your character���s being interrupted, use an em dash (���) inside the quotation marks to show their words are being cut off. This is true whether the interruption comes in the form of someone’s words or actions.

Her mom���s eyebrows shot upward. ���The azaleas? Ivy������
���It was a squirrel,��� Jacob sputtered. ���A deranged, kamikaze squirrel that fell out of a tree and stumbled right into the road. It was rabid, foaming at the mouth������
Ivy shoved him. ���You���re not helping.���

Use an Ellipse for Hesitations

Interruptions indicate a clean break, with the person���s speech abruptly stopping. Hesitations are more, well���hesitant. If there���s a pause in your character���s speech, or if their dialogue trails off slowly rather than bluntly, use an ellipse.

���Seemed deranged,��� Jacob mumbled. ���Stumbling���middle of traffic������ He rubbed the back of his neck and decided Ivy could fight her own battles.

Clean Dialogue Makes for Stronger Writing and Easier Reading

The mechanics of dialogue may not be the most exciting thing to study but mastering them makes your story easier to read and understand. The good news is that, like most elements of writing, the more you incorporate proper punctuation, capitalization, and paragraphing into your dialogue, the easier it gets. Then you can move on to higher level techniques that will make your characters��� conversations authentic, engaging, and full of added depth���techniques that we���ll discuss in our next 101 post.

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How to Use Show, Don’t Tell to Strengthen Your Story

Writers hear it all the time: Show, don���t tell. In fact, this advice is so iconic I wouldn���t be surprised if a few tattoos of it are kicking around the community. After all, our job as writers isn���t to explain what���s happening to readers, it���s to help them experience the story for themselves. And show, don���t tell is how we do it!

Showing Creates an Experience.
Telling Hands Out Information.

Imagine your story as a culinary masterpiece and your reader a dinner guest. Sure, you could slap a plate down and say, ���It���s lasagna, enjoy,��� or you could slide the steaming dish in front of them and let those saucy layers, bubbling cheese, and heavenly aroma rev them up for the first bite.

Telling has its place–and for more on that, zip over here–but showing engages readers. It will bring them in close, make them feel involved, and awakens their emotions and memories.

One problem with show, don���t tell?

Somewhere along the way, it became so integrated with character emotion that writers didn’t necessarily think to use it for other things.

To be clear, showing emotion is great advice! I���m sure you���ve attended workshops and been told not to say your character is sad���instead, describe them standing at their school locker, clutching a break-up note, blinking fast and swallowing hard. If you’ve read The Emotion Thesaurus: A Writer���s Guide to Character Expression, you know Becca and I preach loud and proud about showing emotion. But it has so many other applications, so let’s recap a few.

Showing Can Anchor Readers in the Setting

When it comes to worldbuilding, readers should be able to imagine the character���s world and feel part of each scene.

Telling: The castle was massive, with stone walls and high towers.

Showing: The castle loomed over the village, its stone walls etched with centuries of wind and war. Torchlight flickered along the high towers, where banners snapped against the night sky.

Telling works for delivering details that aren���t important, but showing can draw a reader in, help them imagine what they reader, convey the history or importance of a location, and more.

Showing Can Set the Mood

Part of creating an experience is steering how readers should feel. The details we share, especially sensory description, can nudge them to view a setting a certain way���safe, dangerous, calming, worrying. It���s up to us.  

Telling: The alley was dark and scary.

Showing: The alley narrowed, its brick walls leaning inward, swallowing the last flickers of streetlight. Garbage bags sagged against dented cans, the air thick with something damp and rotting.

Here, telling is factual, but showing creates foreboding. Only one will push readers to eagerly read on to see what sort of bad thing is waiting in the dark.

Showing Can Define a Relationship Without Labels

Characters shouldn���t have to say they���re best friends, mortal enemies, or hopelessly in love. Their actions should make that obvious.

Telling: Jake and Connor had been best friends for years.

Showing: Jake barely knocked before pushing open Connor���s door. ���Bro, I got a problem with someone and need backup.���
Connor shut his textbook. ���Let���s go. I���m driving.���

Best friends? Yup! Telling would work if this friendship wasn’t relevant, but if it is, we need to see that closeness in action. Showing does that, pulling the reader along for the ride.

Showing Can Reveal Character Motivation

Characters need to have agency, doing and saying things for a reason. But if we just tell readers what���s driving them, it falls flat.

Telling: Olivia wanted to prove she was just as capable as her older brother.

Showing: Olivia tightened the laces on her running shoes. She could still hear her brother���s voice from last night: ���You won���t last a mile.��� Gritting her teeth, she stepped onto the track. She���d make it ten.

A character���s motivation is more likely to land with readers if they empathize with their reasons. Showing here utilizes a common human experience���a lack of support and voiced doubt���and places readers in Olivia���s corner. They want her to succeed.

Showing Helps Deepen Conflict and Stakes

If the stakes matter, readers should feel it.

Telling: If Sam lost, he���d have to leave town for good.

Showing: Sam rolled his poker chip across the felt. One hand. One chance.

Across the table, Mason smirked. ���Don���t worry, I���ll pass on your goodbyes to everyone at the wedding tomorrow.���

Here, telling readers what’s at stake is equivalent to a sad trombone (womp-womp). Showing makes readers care about Sam and invested in what happens next.

Showing Can Showcase Characterization

Each character will have their own personality, talents, beliefs, tendencies, quirks, etc. How you convey who they are can mean the difference between a cardboard character and someone so authentic it feels like they stepped out of the real world.

Telling: Jonas was a germaphobe.

Showing: Jonas pinched the edge of his plate, avoiding contact. Across the table, a man sneezed into his palm, then grabbed the breadbasket. Jonas stiffened. Bacteria���everywhere. He chewed fast, breathed shallowly. The sooner he finished, the sooner he could scrub this place off his skin.

When we show it, Jonus��� fear feels authentic. Readers can surmise how this phobia will shape his life in the story.

Look for Opportunities to Make Your Story Immersive!

Showing can vastly improve a story, but crafting the right descriptions is not easy. This is why it can be so tempting to slip into telling. It’s worth the worth though, when the situation in the story warrants showing.

It comes down to knowing what to show, and what to tell. Readers never need to know every little thing about the story and your characters, but they know the important stuff that helps them follow the story, care about the characters, and feel invested in the outcome.

Focus on what���s important, what readers need to know, and what makes them care the most. And if you need help finding telling that you suspect needs to be converted to showing, try: 7 Ways to Find Telling in Your Writing.

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Secret Thesaurus: Withholding Help from Someone in Need

What secret is your character keeping? Why are they safeguarding it? What���s at stake if it���s discovered? Does it need to come out at some point, or should it remain hidden?

This is some of the important information you need to know about your character���s secrets���and they will have secrets, because everyone does. They���re thorny little time bombs composed of fear, deceit, stress, and conflict that, when detonated, threaten to destroy everything the character holds dear.

So, of course, you should assemble them. And we can���t wait to help.

This thesaurus provides brainstorming fodder for a host of secrets that could plague your character. Use it to explore possible secrets, their underlying causes, how they might play into the overall story, and how to realistically write a character who is hiding them���all while establishing reader empathy and interest.

For instance, let���s see what it might look like if your character���

Withheld Help When it Was Needed

ABOUT THIS SECRET: A complex web of emotions can develop if a character saw someone in need and chose not to help. While this could be a dark secret stemming from refusing to be a good Samaritan or a desire to see a rival fail, your character might also withhold help for fear of being taken advantage of or enabling destructive behavior (if the other party is battling an addiction, for instance). Whether their motivations were selfish or good-natured, guilt will muddy the waters, creating inner conflict and self-doubt over their choice.

SPECIFIC��FEARS��THAT MAY DRIVE THE NEED FOR SECRECY: Being Responsible for Others, Being Taken Advantage of, Failure, Hope, Humiliation, Infidelity, Isolation, Leading, Leaving No Legacy, Letting Others Down, One’s Instincts Being Unreliable, Putting Oneself out There, Rejection

HOW THIS SECRET COULD HOLD THE CHARACTER BACK
Feeling immense regret and guilt that they didn���t act when they should have
Worrying about how friends and loved ones would react if they knew the truth
Their relationship with the person in question being strained
Their refusal to act immobilizing them in other areas of life
Doubting their instincts

BEHAVIORS OR HABITS THAT HELP HIDE THIS SECRET
Claiming they didn���t know that aid was needed
Acting surprised when they���re told the other party needed assistance
Avoiding the person who needed help
Overcompensating by going above and beyond to help others
Getting out of the spotlight by blaming someone else for not helping

ACTIVITIES OR TENDENCIES THAT MAY RAISE SUSPICIONS
Expressing doubt about whether the person really needed assistance
Protesting too much about their ability to help
Reverting to a superficial relationship with the person so they won���t have to discuss their needs or how they���re doing
Asking too many questions about the person (out of guilt)
Behaving recklessly to assuage their guilt���drinking, driving dangerously, etc.

SITUATIONS THAT MAKE KEEPING THIS SECRET A CHALLENGE��
An official investigation into the situation being started
The incident going viral on social media
The other party getting angry and being vocal about the situation

Other Secret Thesaurus entries can be found here. Need More Descriptive Help?

While this thesaurus is still being developed, the rest of our descriptive collection (18 unique thesauri and growing) is accessible through the One Stop for Writers THESAURUS database.

If you like, swing by and check out the video walkthrough for this site, then give our Free Trial a spin.

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Phenomenal First Pages Contest

Hey, wonderful
writerly people!

It���s time for Phenomenal First Pages, our monthly critique contest. So, if you need a bit of help with your first page, today’s the day to enter for a chance to win professional feedback! (We’ve had past winners tell us they’ve found their dream editors through this contest, and even ended up with offers of representation!)

Entering is easy. All you need to do is leave your contact information on this entry form (or click the graphic below). If you are a winner, we’ll notify you and explain how to send us your first page.

Contest DetailsThis is a 24-hour contest, so enter ASAP.Make sure your contact information on the entry form is correct. Three winners will be drawn. We will email you if you win and let you know how to submit your first page. Please have your first page ready in case your name is selected. Format it with 1-inch margins, double-spaced, and 12pt Times New Roman font. All genres are welcome except erotica.Sign Up for Notifications!

If you���d like to be notified about our monthly Phenomenal First Pages contest, subscribe to blog notifications in this sidebar. 

Good luck, everyone. We can’t wait to see who wins!

PS: To amp up your first page, grab our  First Pages checklist from One Stop for Writers. For more help with story opening elements, visit this Mother Lode of First Page Resources.

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How To Write A Likeable Character

Likeable characters can become the beating heart of your narrative. Readers root for them and stick with them throughout their journeys. But what exactly makes a character likeable? It���s not just about being nice but making them relatable.

So, let’s look at how to write such characters!

Kindness WITHOUT An Agenda

A likeable character is helpful, compassionate and patient with others because it’s part of their personality … NOT because they want something in return. They will even be kind when it’s not convenient to themselves.

Anne Shirley (Anne of Green Gables) can be dramatic and impulsive, but her deep kindness shines through everything she does.

Forrest Gump’s kindness is pure and never changes, even when others attempt to take advantage of him.

Ted Lasso always gives others grace, even when they’re contemptuous of him.

Give Them an Optimistic Outlook

Optimism can be endearing, especially when it���s grounded in awareness. An optimistic character can seem clueless or over-privileged if they are overly naive. Likeable characters acknowledge reality, but choose to see the positive in it.

Jo March in Little Women is a good sister to Meg, Beth and Amy. Jo also wants to earn her own money and is determined to succeed as a writer. Jo does not mention love, a rich husband, or children like many women of her time. When she gets her first pay cheque then, we cheer for her.

Phil Dunphy in��Modern Family��is goofy and sometimes child-like, but that is not where his characterization ends. He is a committed father and husband, providing for his family. When his real estate business is not going so well, he hides this from wife Claire as he doesn’t want her to worry. This makes him lovable rather than a man-child like Homer Simpson.

Have Them Lift Other Characters Up

A character become likeable when they put others first. They validate the other characters and support their own journeys. They help them deal with setbacks, as well as celebrate others’ wins.

In Lord of the Rings, Samwise Gamgee is a constant support to Frodo. Sam accompanies Frodo on his epic quest and encourages him through its trials and tribulations.

Elizabeth Bennett in Pride and Prejudice is quite reserved, but offers constant support for her sisters. She understands the sacrifices she may need to make to ensure the family is financially secure. Her acceptance of this makes readers root for her.

Last Points

Remember there are three elements that contribute to a likeable character: kindness, optimism and uplifting others. Just ensure they are not naive or over-privileged in doing so. Then you will have a likeable character that resonates with readers and viewers alike.

Good Luck!

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