J.M. Robison's Blog, page 8

Villains are made, not born

The inspiration for this blog post comes from The Wizard’s First Rule by Terry Goodkind. It came about at the part where character X is kidnapped by Mistress A. Mistress A declares she will “train” X by inflicting massive pain upon him. Like any logical person, X asks her,“And what is the purpose of my training, Mistress A?”To which she replies:"To teach you the meaning of pain. To teach you that your life is no longer yours, that it is mine, and I can do anything I want with it. Anything. I can hurt you in any way I want, for as long as I want, and no one is going to help you but me. I'm going to teach you that every moment you have without pain is a moment only I can grant you. You are going to learn to do as I say without question, without hesitation, no matter what it is. You are going to learn to beg for anything you get." To which she also says, “I enjoy it when a man makes it hard.”Why does Mistress A have this desire to inflict pain on others? What is her goal for doing so?It’s not enough for the character to say, “I enjoy it when a man makes it hard.” You need to address the REASON why she enjoys it, otherwise she’s a rebel without a cause, an antagonist with no GOAL. To be a realistic antagonist, a goal and the reason for wanting that goal need to be addressed.See these examples. Read them all or just a few.1) Take real life villains. I choose ISIS – the Islamic terrorist group infiltrating every country. Their GOAL is to kill everyone who does not follow their religion. The REASON is because their religion tells them to kill everyone who does not follow their religion. There is a clear goal and a clear why. Thus, our real life antagonists.2) My sister-in-law, JJ. JJ is an attention hog, to the point she will intentionally create massive drama so she can be in the center of it, because everyone will see her. What’s her GOAL? To be the center of attention. What is the REASON for that goal? Because she’s a narcissist.3) Hitler killed Jews due to claims they had turned against Germany during the First War. Also that they were behind the downfall of Germany in WWI. His GOAL was to kill the Jews. The REASON was because he believed they had turned against Germany during the First War. (Note that a villain’s claims don’t have to be true, only that the villain believes them to be true.)4) In a fantasy book of mine, the villain wants to kill every race of people that are non-human. That’s his GOAL. The REASON is because he has the deep subconscious belief that he’s a fallen god and those non-humans he wants to kill were a mistake he created.5) In another fantasy book of mine, the villain keeps a wizard imprisoned so my villain can harvest the wizard’s magic. The GOAL for doing this is to harvest the wizard’s magic. The REASON the villain wants to harvest the wizard’s magic is so my villain can use the magic to create money and make himself rich._______________________________They all have the same elements in these examples, even the real-life villains: they all have a GOAL and a REASON for wanting that goal.Below are the excuses – disguised as reasons - villains may use to justify their goal:EXCUSE FOR BEHAVOIR: They want power (such as “taking over the world”)GOAL: Kill everyone who opposes themEXCUSE FOR BEHAVOIR: They love to inflict pain on othersGOAL: to inflict pain on othersI call them excuses - instead of reasons – because those still open up questions as to WHY. WHY do they want to take over the world? WHY do they love to inflict pain on others?See these excuses changed into reasons:REASON FOR WANTING POWER: He was beholden to his captors for 20 years and, finally freed, wants to reclaim his dignity and prove to himself he will never be beholden to anyone again.GOAL: Make as many people as he can conquer be beholden to him.REASON FOR LOVING TO INFLICT PAIN ON OTHERS: Someone hurt her. Badly, and for so long that the pain became an additional sensation she could feel, and she forced that sensation to thrill her so began craving it instead. She did that because it’s much easier to handle a thrilling sensation than a painful one. She wanted to show other people what this amazing sensation was, so she kidnapped them and inflicted pain on them because that is how she learned how amazing the sensation of pain can feel.GOAL: Share with others the thrilling sensation of pain_____________________________We shy away from giving villains reasons for their goal because – at the very core of it – that villain likely suffered as a victim at some point in their life, and that suffering was a direct cause for them growing into a villain. Human nature doesn’t like seeing suffering, and to see the villain suffering before they were a villain makes us want to pity them instead of hate them, and we are supposed to hate the villain, aren’t we? I saw a quote that said, “Evil queens are the princesses who were never rescued.” A villain is never born. A villain is made by outside forces. You noticed my picture of Walter White from Breaking Bad. He didn't start out as a villain. He was dying of cancer and his wife nagged at him to pay for treatment. Cancer treatment is expensive. So Walter White produced meth and sold it to pay for it. And the villainy began.PRACTICE THIS:As you go about your year, find the villain in books and movies and find their REASON and their GOAL. Here are some ideas to get you started:Darth VadarVoldemortThe JokerCaptain HookYou might be surprised that there are a lot of villains who have a goal but lack the reason for it. For further advice on making realistic villains, see thisBLOGRight. Back to reading The Wizard’s First Rule and enduring an insufferable villain while she tortures character X without a reason.BACK TO JM'S BLOG

Music Links in Books?

I’m a writer. To put me deeper into my story as I write it, I listen to music that deals with the theme of what I am currently writing. Such as, I listen to rain sounds while I write scenes about rain, I listen to Johann Strauss’s Voices of Spring as I write my ballroom scene in 1842 Victorian England.But I am also a reader.As a reader, I would love to read a book that included a music/sound link right at the scene that deals with that music/sound, so I can listen to rain while I read about it raining.I pitched this idea to a couple readers and writers, and they either had similar thoughts or thought the idea to be really neat.Then my publisher said this to me when I pitched the idea to them:The problem with adding music to books (not impossible) is most everything is copyrighted. We can't (aren't supposed to) even use one line from any popular song from the last 75 years. I knew a writer who wanted to use the line, "It's a lovely day for a white wedding." She changed 'nice' to 'white' but it was still too close to the song lyric.She went to Billy Idol for permission to use the two words 'white wedding' and he said 'sure, for $10,000.'Music and lyrics don't fall under the same fair use laws as book text. And it's different still for trademarks. Another issue is file size. You'd want to embed sounds into the pages where they'd play automatically, changing when the scene changes. That takes a whole other type of formatting, but also the file would be massive. Places like Amazon charge a WhisperNet fee which is an added cost by Amazon and is based on the book's file size. The larger the file size, the higher the fee.The other problem with added sounds and music is that for many readers (and writers) music (especially with lyrics) is too distracting. While you can get away with adding, let's say, some Tchaikovsky to a book, you could only use a version that was recorded over 75 years ago, because anyone else performing his music after that time means their version is copyrighted. Which means while Tchaikovsky's music is out of copyright, Andre Rieu's performance of it is not.SAD! Though I expected this. However, this is still only 2016, we’ve come a long way from 1842 England where you had to go to a ballroom to listen to music. I do believe that, with enough hype, we can institute this idea into the books we read (and write), in order to attain yet a deeper level of involvement into the story. This could also be beneficial for braille readers.Comment with your thoughts. Share this post to spread the word and see what others feel about it. It might just generate the hype we need.BACK TO JM'S BLOG

Author interview with Lady Altarn

JM ROBISON (Interviewer)Altarn ShadheingJM ROBISON: What is your name?ALTARN: Altarn Lilleith ShadheingJM ROBISON: Where do you work?ALTARN: I’m the Lady of Blindvar.JM ROBISON: What sort of duties does that entail?ALTARN: It’s the highest political position one can achieve. I govern the entire state of Blindvar with considerations toward infrastructure, employment in critical places, and such. I’m also in charge of Blindvar’s army.JM ROBISON: What is your idea of perfect happiness?ALTARN: *sighs* I don’t know. Haven’t had a lot of time to think about it.JM ROBISON: I hear you are the first woman to govern the State of Blindvar. Do you receive any sort of bias because of it?ALTARN: I do. I don’t think it has anything to do with how I govern, but people have these preconceived biases that women are subservient and incompetent. I was in such a mood eleven years ago to break those notions apart, so I joined the Blindvarn army and went to law school to become qualified to run this state. What hurts the most is that I had the lowest votes out of the three of us running against each other, the other two were men. One of them dropped out because his criminal conviction background surfaced which immediately disqualified him. The other individual was born in Luthsinia and tried to hide his birth because only Blindvarn-born can run for the State Head. So that left me, fully qualified but unwanted. I’m just keeping my head down until my session is over.JM ROBISON: What is your greatest fear?ALTARN: Realizing the Blindvarn citizens are right about me being incompetent.JM ROBISON: What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?ALTARN: My lack of conviction to sway people to do my bidding, such as in a militaristic situation where I might have to tell people to charge to their deaths. I’m fine charging into that situation myself, but feel guilty being the one to tell other people to do it.JM ROBISON: What is the trait you most deplore in others?ALTARN: Judging before they get to know someone, or believing rumors without verifying the facts themselves.JM ROBISON: Which living person do you most admire?ALTARN: Ratavia. We’ve been friends for a while, and she always manages to cheer me up, no matter the situation. I wish I could do that for myself.JM ROBISON: What is your greatest extravagance?ALTARN: I don’t believe I have any. So I’m not looked at any harder than I already am by those who think I can’t do this job, I don’t spend money on myself unless it’s strictly for my job. Don’t want to create rumors that I’m spending peoples’ taxes on fine wine and gilded bathing tubs.JM ROBISON: What is your current state of mind?ALTARN: Stretched and weary. I just received threats from Lord Kaelin because I caught him in a ploy to sneak Blindvar out from under me. He’s not happy. War between us, I fear is eminent.JM ROBISON: What do you think of Lord Kaelin?ALTARN: A biased ass who thinks I’m dumb enough to not catch on to his plans to take Blindvar for himself.JM ROBISON: On what occasion do you lie?ALTARN: I don’t recall having done so in a while. I suppose if I did, it would be to protect myself or another person.JM ROBISON: What do you most dislike about your appearance?ALTARN: I don’t have self-worth issues. I’m fine just the way I am.JM ROBISON: Which living person do you most despise?ALTARN: Currently? Lord Kaelin.JM ROBISON: What is the quality you most like in a man?ALTARN: I couldn’t tell you right now. I could, however, tell you what I don’t like in a man, because I’ve been courted by a few of them already. I suppose it’s going to be one of those things you don’t know what you like until you try it.JM ROBISON: What or who is the greatest love of your life?ALTARN: Didn’t you ask a similar question to this?JM ROBISON: When and where were you happiest?ALTARN: During my service to the army. Women are treated without bias there, likely because we’re better fighters with the shorns, and that’s respectable.JM ROBISON: Which talent would you most like to have?ALTARN: Sneak around unseen. I guess, maybe, invisible?JM ROBISON: What do you consider your greatest achievement?ALTARN: Achieving the Lady of Blindvar. Though it’s hard most days, I AM proud I’m in this position. Maybe I’ll make a difference before my session is up and Blindvarns will respect women in positions of power better.JM ROBISON: If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?ALTARN: A large, powerful beast that can fly. I have this restless energy inside me that feels the only way to dispel it is to tear down mountains and soar to the sun.JM ROBISON: Where would you most like to live?ALTARN: A small town uninfluenced by bad traditions. A hermit. That sounds great.JM ROBISON: What is your most treasured possession?ALTARN: My cotton-stuffed horse. It’s small, and purple, and I’ve had it forever. A childish comfort, but it holds meaning.JM ROBISON: What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?ALTARN: I’m not sure. I’d be happy as a hermit, living alone, hunting my food, building shelter. Some people would call that misery. But then, I believe happiness is a choice, no matter your situation.JM ROBISON: What do you most value in your friends?ALTARN: Not chased away because of bad days.JM ROBISON: Who are your favorite writers?ALTARN: I like Belsara. She writes poetry.JM ROBISON: Which historical figure do you most identify with?ALTARN: Forgive me on the name, for I can’t recall it right now, but a girl in her teenage years started the war in Blindvar to dethrone our kings. She’s the one that discovered lithalium in what they had originally believed to be copper. We use lithalium to make our shorns. It’s because of the shorns we won the war. She helps me believe women can do amazing things as long as we continue to try.JM ROBISON: So you are a fighter for women to become equal with men?ALTARN: Being equal implies men and women can do all the exact same jobs. Women are not equal to men. Men are not equal to women. We each have our own gender roles the other cannot fulfill. Sure, sometimes we can do the same job just as well, but the jobs females cannot do, they should not nag to get men to let them do it. Likewise there are jobs men cannot do, that only women can do, but you don’t see the men nagging the women to let them do it. I’m not trying to make women equal to men, I’m trying to show men those jobs that women CAN do just as well as them, such as run a state. There’s nothing specific about that job that requires a certain gender. Men are just used to holding it to themselves, is all.JM ROBISON: How would you like to die?ALTARN: I don’t much care, so long as I’m not around people when it happens. I have this fear of people staring at my body after I’m dead.JM ROBISON: Is there anything more you’d like to add to this interview?ALTARN: No.JM ROBISON: Thank you for your time. This concludes our interview.JM Robison, Author

Author interview with Lord Kaelin

JM ROBISON (Interviewer)KAELIN MORRENDRAKEJM ROBISON: What is your full name?KAELIN: Kaelin-drath Morrendrake.JM ROBISON: Where do you work?KAELIN: I’m the Lord of Ruidenthall.JM ROBISON: What are your duties associated with that job?KAELIN: It’s similar to a king, except without the tyranny. 300 or so years ago, the Ruids dethroned the last king because we were tired of oppression. We changed the title to “Lord” and the position goes through a vote every 4 years. But the responsibility hasn’t changed from the time of our kings, such as dispatching an army against threatening forces, making sure citizen concerns are heard and addressed, and spreading out the state’s funds to care for the infrastructure.JM ROBISON: What is your idea of perfect happiness?KAELIN: Marriage, hopefully before I get too old.JM ROBISON: How old are you?KAELIN: 35.JM ROBISON: What is your greatest fear?KAELIN: Living under tyranny again.JM ROBISON: What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?KAELIN: I can’t answer that. I’m trying to find a wife before I get too old, remember?JM ROBISON: What is the trait you most deplore in others?KAELIN: Incompetency and ignorance for self-gain.JM ROBISON: Meaning…KAELIN: Being in a position where you are in charge of lives and unable to protect those lives, and ignoring the way to make a situation better for other people because it would be disadvantageous for you to do so.JM ROBISON: What is your current state of mind?KAELIN: Working out how to steal Blindvar without Altarn making much fuss about it.JM ROBISON: Why do you want Blindvar?KAELIN: I’m a competent ruler where I put the needs of my people first. I want to spread that to Blindvar and Luthsinia before either of them fall again into a state of tyranny.JM ROBISON: You don’t believe Lady Altarn would prevent that?KAELIN: The only thing I can guarantee is my own actions.JM ROBISON: What do you consider the most overrated virtue?KAELIN: None of them. They are fine guidelines to guide one’s life by.JM ROBISON: On what occasion do you lie?KAELIN: When I’m trying to help someone else. Mostly, I just withhold information or redirect the question when the answer would reveal the truth.JM ROBISON: What do you most dislike about your appearance?KAELIN: You might assume I’d say my nose because of the obvious appearance of it having been broken a few times, but I say it adds to my roguish charm. So, really, I’m fine with how I look.JM ROBISON: What is the quality you most like in a woman?KAELIN: Head-strong when needed, not afraid to back down when confronted with opposition, but with a touch of softness because I want a WOMAN, not a man.JM ROBISON: When and where were you happiest?KAELIN: I’ve had lots of those. But the most recent was when I speared a pirate against the bowsprit of his own ship because he broke my nose.JM ROBISON: Which talent would you most like to have?KAELIN: You’re a respectable lady. I  won’t answer that for you.JM ROBISON: What do you consider your greatest achievement?KAELIN: Becoming Lord of Ruidenthall, but especially being elected for 2 terms.JM ROBISON: If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?KAELIN: My horse. During our skirmishes with pirates, I sometimes believe he enjoys trampling them more than I do stabbing them.JM ROBISON: Where would you most like to live?KAELIN: Gaynord in Luthsinia. They have a natural hot spring there and it is delightfully relaxing.JM ROBISON: What do you most value in your friends?KAELIN: I couldn’t tell you. Torren drives me insane most days with his incessant chatter and awful advice for finding a woman.JM ROBISON: Who are your favorite writers?KAELIN: I don’t read.JM ROBISON: (sad his answer was not her) Which historical figure do you most identify with?KAELIN: The Ruid who drove his sword through the last king’s belly.JM ROBISON: How would you like to die?KAELIN: In my bed with old age.JM ROBISON: Anything else you’d like to add to this interview?KAELIN: Don’t tell Altarn I’m planning on taking Blindvar from her.JM ROBISON: Why would I do that? It would ruin a great story idea.KAELIN: *grumbles* I don’t trust you.JM ROBISON: Thank you for your time, Lord Kaelin. This concludes our interview.JM Robison, Author

What Makes The War Queen Different From Other Fantasy And Romance Novels?

I pride myself in writing a book with unique elements you don't see (or see very little of) in other fantasy romance books.First of all, what is The War Queen about? 300 years ago, the people dethroned their king and queen to prevent another tyranny. Now instead, the people nominate a State Head every three years and Altarn is the first female to hold the position. She’s used to tolerating the biases of men but Kaelin, the State Head of his territory, has declared her incompetent and has even, according to Altarn, threatened to steal her land – she believes he wants to make himself king. Believing she must “dethrone” Kaelin, Altarn rides to her last ally to ask for aid in the war against Kaelin she knows is coming. But in her absence an army launches an attack… and it’s not Kaelin’s.Taking advantage of the startling situation, Kaelin kidnaps Altarn so he can take her land without her in the way. Soon realizing he needs her help to fight this army instead, he releases her and, since Altarn’s army is too small to win the war alone, she is forced to accept his help, but payment for his help will be her land. No one believes Kaelin is secretly trying to make himself king, so after the battle is won, alone in her knowledge and lacking allies, Altarn must become the War Queen of legend to dethrone another king… though she unexpectedly dethrones his heart instead.SO WHAT MAKES THIS DIFFERENT FROM OTHER FANTASY ROMANCES?1-This is a clean romance (no sex - not even the "behind closed doors" sex. Period. It doesn't happen -, no petting, no nudity). You might feel this is not unique, but consider for a moment our reality... it is 2016. I picked up a young adult novel - a romance - and these teenagers engaged in sex. Why are authors writing books about teenagers engaging in sex being normal? And the world wonders why we have a growing rate of teenage pregnancies.Anyway, off my soap box. There is no sex in The War Queen, yet it is a romance. So how did I write a sexless romance? Here's my secret: sex does not make a romance. Passion makes a romance, and you can have passion without sex. If you write it well, the readers will feel the passion without seeing it.I am not ashamed to hold to my core values about waiting to have sex until after marriage and keeping it sacred within the bedroom and not aired in books or TV.2-The War Queen is a romance, but it is also fantasy. Staged in a made-up world, my heroine and hero engage in a battle. The unique part about this battle, is my weapon system and the method to deploy them. I call this weapon the "shorn" and those who wield the shorn are called "shredders". A shorn comes in a pair and is a wing-shaped blade, serrated on the outside. It looks something like this:With the shorn it's not so simple to charge forward and slash and slice like you might a sword. No. The shorn's effectiveness comes when a long, single line of shredders stand shoulder to shoulder, waiting for the cue of 500 violins behind them to dance.This dance is strategic, and all shredders know it. When the cue in the music is given, the shredders draw their shorns and "dance" in sync against the front line of the enemy. Would you like to see what this looks like? Play the link to the song I provided and read a passage taken out of The War Queen while you do so:_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Listen to this song:While you read this excerpt taken from The War Queen:A nervous violin player fidgeted close to Altarn, pacing in small movements about his area, clenching his instrument and bow in his gloved hands as if he might use them as a weapon.“Eldic.” Altarn’s voice slashed through the cold dark.The violinist looked up.“Play.”The lad nodded as if on instinct instead of willingness. Altarn could almost hear his bones scream in protest as he set the instrument under his chin and the bow against the strings. The first draw on the bow sang shakily, giving away the nervousness of the player. But the cold sound sliced through the air like a blade, reaching wide and far in the weightless silence of the falling snow.The reverse pull on the bow brought a sound more confident, and Altarn relaxed her shoulders, having not realized their tension.The music bloomed as the player soaked in its power, and he dipped and plunged to the intensities of each pitch. The song cried through the cold with a haunting strength, absorbed by her soldiers who shifted and squared shoulders, feeding off the pleasant distraction from the fear beating in their ears.At her signal, the boy played the command for the archers. A shower of arrows burst from the cliff in a falling storm of daggers. Even with the dim moonlight she couldn’t tell how many Foreigners the arrows felled. Two more volleys followed. The army was closer, so close in Altarn’s tunnel vision that she swore she could reach out and touch them.“Prepare.”The player transitioned smoothly into a quicker pace with distinct turns in the chord. The violinists, flutists, and drummers mingling below with the army replied.They started out of tune with late players finally joining in—the new volunteers. But they caught on quickly enough for Altarn’s anxious satisfaction.She looked at Kaelin to see what he thought of it, but his head was already in motion as if trying to catch the sound, to dissect it, because the song caused something to stir within the soldiers that no battle cry could do.The Foreigners lurched forward.“Draw!” Altarn shouted unnecessarily, barely able to pinch the creep of fear invading her heart.The player changed the tune. The sound echoed within the formation. A distant hiss joined the song as shredders unshouldered their shorns. Shredders stepped forward as dual wielders stepped back.Altarn looked beyond their heads to see if the switching of weapons to the vanguard had any effect on the Foreigners. It did. Their advancing line stopped.“Rush in line, start on cue.”The player communicated this through the song to the players ahead. The song made three jumps. On the third jump, the shredders lurched forward as one.The front line of the Foreigners turned around and ran.Altarn could not hear the whinny of escaping horses or the shout of officers that must be spitting fire upon their fleeing troops. But it didn’t matter. Five paces and the shredders converged on the vanguard. The scream of metal echoed back to her on the hilltop. Her viewpoint showed Huilian’s army succumbing to the first strike; there was too much flying metal they were not prepared for.The fact that most of them were turned around helped. Their frontline established once again, they set their shields but the teeth on the edge of the shorns pushed them aside. In a deadly dance, the shredders whirled in sync like a daggered whirlwind.___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________3-Something lacking in today's literature are female protagonists. I don't know why that is. Maybe women are supposed to be the romantic reward for the male protagonist? Because people still find females weak or too gentle to be effective characters against the dark forces of whatever beguiles them? Whatever the reason, female protagonists are sorely lacking in literature. I'm proud to say Altarn in The War Queen is a female and is the protagonist AND is in charge of an entire state, similar to America's President and you get to see her leading an army to battle. I had the pleasure of writing about her struggles and how she overcomes them.4-Another thing I made unique to The War Queen is I did not make my hero handsome. Not unique you argue? Please look at every Hollywood male star and every romance book you've ever read. Are all the men not handsome/perfect in every way? Certainly I'm not the first to break this ideal, but think upon a book or a movie where the hero is not handsome. Did you find one? Maybe. But for that one there are 30 others where the hero is handsome.I could spend three pages explaining why I made my hero NOT handsome, but I'll let you choose for yourself if you want to read about it by going to this BLOG.My hero is introduced to you in this passage:______________________________His sleeveless shirt, in typical Ruid fashion, showed off their trademark tattoo of smoking ribbons up his right arm. The tall neck of the shirt buttoned around his throat and the sharp angles on his face and hard muscle on his naked arms testified to his time in soldiery.He’d been on the road for a while, because the thick chunks of copper-brown hair in disarray about his skull matched a dusty goatee and several days’ worth of stubble under his chin. A crooked nose from an old break added to the handful of years he had over her. Altarn’s hackles prickled as he came close enough for her to see his eyes were blue.______________________________If you think that passage described him as handsome, that is up to you. As the reader, you have a right to understand the story as you want. But note I did not write it that way.FINAL NOTE:Don't think you can have a romance without sex? Do you consider violins in battle as being too strange to be effective? Doubt my heroine can fall in love with my hero because he's not physically appealing? Read The War Queen and judge for yourself and comment your feelings on this blog. No fear. I love talking with readers about all the good, the bad, and the ugly. Especially the ugly!JM Robison, Author of The War Queen. Published by Tirgearr.

How to overcome the fear of letting strangers read your unpublished story

It's terrifying letting strangers review your work. Fears of, "Will they hate it?" prevail. But these are only growing pains. You have to not care if strangers don't like it because that stranger's job IS to tell you what they think is broken in it. You can't fix what you don't know is broken. Once they tell you what they think is broken, fix it, and send it out to another reader who will point out other broken things, and then you fix those, and repeat steps 1 and 2.It's scary letting the world see it, but you must do it, because you are so familiar with your story that you stop seeing it, and you stop seeing its flaws. You MUST get unbiased eyes on your work from people who have zero care for your feelings (well, maybe a little care. Just make sure they are at least human.) Having mom read it is, though motivating, does zero to help make your writing better.My mother-in-law loves every book I’ve ever written (all 7) and says there’s nothing wrong with any of them. And then 5 beta readers tell me my character acts a bit beneath her age and is slightly unrealistic. (Gee, thanks mother-in-law.)But that’s okay. You get friends and family to read your work to motivate you, and you get strangers to read your work to tell you what needs to be fixed, because strangers may or may not motivate you and mom isn’t going to tell you what you should fix.It’s scary having other’s read your work, but you must. Trust me. I've gone through it already, and it gets easier the more you do it... even if you have to hide your head in the computer and wait for judgment to be over.To help this be less scary, don't show the world your first draft. Please. Your first draft is crap and everyone will see it and point it out as such and it will only discourage you. Polish it up a few times. Re-write it. I've never shown the world any of my books until the books have reached their 3rd draft (first draft, total re-write draft, and heavy polishing to equal 3.) That way I feel confident that beta readers won't find much. And they don't. But they still find things I missed - finding those things is their job - and I fix it without being discouraged about it. AND my readers love my writing. They wouldn’t have loved my writing had I shown them my 1st draft.FINAL NOTE:Just because you love your work and your mom loves your work doesn’t mean anyone else will. Make sure you are confident you’ve done everything you possibly can to make your work shine before you send it off to the world. It will save you from a lot of future discouragement if you do.JM Robison is the author ofThe War Queen, published by Tirgearr Publishing.

When to use a comma

JM Robison is the author ofThe War Queen, published by Tirgearr Publishing.

Incarceration does not fix criminals. This is why:

I’m a deputy sheriff working in a county jail. My job is to process criminals into the jail who’ve been arrested. I bring their food, take them to medical care, and provide clothing and a bed. I watch to make sure they don’t kill staff members or each other. I’ve been doing this job for 4 years, which is plenty of time to understand this naked truth: incarcerating criminals does not work.It doesn’t work because, if it worked, we wouldn’t have criminals in custody. Much like if background checks on gun sales worked we wouldn't have mass shootings. Jails would be near empty and not packed to capacity and growing. To bring you closer to my point, I’ll describe for you what jail is like for a criminal:Criminal is arrested - Doesn’t matter the offense. They come to jail and we shove them in a room with 15 other criminals and lock the door behind them. They can’t leave. This criminal is fed low standard food, receives sub-par medical care, dodges threats from other criminals in his housing unit or is beaten up. Despite all this, the criminal cannot leave.Finally after three months of this, the criminal is released. But given time – hours, days, years – the criminal comes back. But if he learned his lesson the first time, why is he back? Surely the bad food, sub-par medical care, and threats by other inmates should have encouraged any sane person to stay away.Here’s the truth most people don’t realize: that criminal learned how to be helpless while in custody; he was locked inside a bad situation he could not escape. Helpless to fix his behavior or change his surroundings, he succumbed to helplessness and this new behavior followed him upon his release from jail, and it’s that same behavior that brings him back to jail again in his life. I haven’t seen this happen to short-term inmates, but almost every inmate whose been here a month or longer have returned to us again. And again.If that doesn’t make sense to you, consider this experiment conducted by Martin Seligman in 1965 who showed the process of learned helplessness. The below excerpt is taken from his study called, How Seligman's Learned Helplessness Theory Applies to Human Depression and Stress. Here is theLINKif you want to read more about it.Martin and his colleagues were doing research on classical conditioning, or the process by which an animal or human associates one thing with another. In the case of Seligman's experiment, he would ring a bell and then give a light shock to a dog. After a number of times, the dog reacted to the shock even before it happened: as soon as the dog heard the bell, he reacted as though he'd already been shocked.But, then something unexpected happened. Seligman put each dog into a large crate that was divided down the middle with a low fence. The dog could see and jump over the fence if necessary. The floor on one side of the fence was electrified, but not on the other side of the fence. Seligman put the dog on the electrified side and administered a light shock. He expected the dog to jump to the non-shocking side of the fence.Instead, the dogs lay down. It was as though they'd learned from the first part of the experiment that there was nothing they could do to avoid the shocks, so they gave up in the second part of the experiment.Seligman described their condition as learned helplessness, or not trying to get out of a negative situation because the past has taught you that you are helpless.After the dogs didn't jump the fence to escape the shock, Seligman tried the second part of his experiment on dogs that had not been through the classical conditioning part of the experiment. The dogs that had not been previously exposed to shocks quickly jumped over the fence to escape the shocks. This told Seligman that the dogs who lay down and acted helpless had actually learned that helplessness from the first part of his experiment.(The same thing happens to our criminals.)So what do we do with criminals who break the law? If incarceration doesn’t work, where do we put those criminals who have murdered, raped, beaten up, robbed?I agree with you. We can’t let them wander the streets without some recompense, especially since he might endanger a victim again. So in that, it will remain the same. Take the criminal into custody in a secure facility, but I propose the following changes are made to rehabilitate and stop repeat offenders, and create an atmosphere which does not encourage or even teach learned helplessness.CHANGE THE ATMOSPHERECOLOR:You walk into any establishment that encourages healing, and you will see a particular color scheme. Why? Because colors trigger a certain response from us. We have to pay for paint for the walls in the jail anyway, so why not buy purple paint, or yellow? I also recommend providing the inmates with colored pencils (the short, golf pencil sized ones) so inmates can create their own subconscious color scheme personalized to help them heal. They’ll buy these off commissary like they do normal pencils.SCENT:Are you inclined to sit in a room that smells like socks, or one that smells of lavender? Smells are therapeutic. Lavender is calming, peppermint is invigorating, and orange boosts the mood.Jails smell bad. You’ve got 10+ men/women living in one housing unit and limited in when they can wash their clothes or their rooms. It definitely doesn’t smell like lavender. But if scents were diffused or otherwise delivered into the housing units, it would make the housing unit feel more safe and comfortable for those living in it.MUSIC:It’s proven music will change our mood. Nice, easy to listen to music will calm tempers and put perspectives back in balance. Having this music playing in cell blocks will go far to entertain, distract, and sooth.( Inmates cause problems when they are bored). In the jail I work at, we have a few cells wired to the local radio station, and the inmates always want to live in that cell.SELF-HELP BOOKS:I've already had inmates asking for self-help books, everything from how to have a lasting relationship to how-to-draw books. I’ve heard inmates say they want to change while in jail. They have the time so why not give them a book they can read that will teach them a lasting skill? Like how to balance finances, how to stay sober, or do math? From the inmate’s I’ve talked to, they want to do these things but just don’t have the material. If they truly want to change their behavior which got them into jail in the first place, they will read any self-help books provided. The best way to keep people out of jail is to teach them how to live life in a way that doesn’t damage themselves or others. Plus, if they are given the chance to learn something constructive, they will NOT learn how to be helpless (see experiment with the dogs).FRESH AIR:Studies showdepression is linked to lack of sunlight. Sunlight is a mood booster but even fresh air will clear one’s mood palate.DEPUTIZED THERAPISTS:This is at the bottom of the list because this will take much more planning, funding, and study for it to be seriously considered, but I can still get the idea out there so someone much smarter and richer than me can put it into action. What I mean by a Deputized Therapists is this: A post-certified deputy who ALSO goes to school to learn how to be a mental health therapist. Being a therapist, you’d help the inmates one-on-one to heal and help them back into society so they won’t want to make those same mistakes again. But because you are still dealing with, say, a rapist or murder, you still need the skills of a police officer to protect yourself and other staff and inmates.___________________________________I can see most people hating this idea, but forget your ego and realize the end result we want: We want people to stop committing crimes so our world is safer as a whole. Ever been the victim to a crime? My method would never make you a victim again, and people who have made mistakes in their life will be given an honest second chance.THIS IS ALL GREAT, NOW WHAT ABOUT THE COST FOR ALL THIS?In a perfect world, these color-schemed buildings would be built brand new with these features built into them already. But this will never be a perfect world, so I’m going to use my own jail as the lab rat and discuss integrating these methods as if my county had very little money/refused to give us funding:INTERGRATE COLOR:Easy. Buy any color paint other than white, since you have to buy paint anyway. Extra money needed: $0INTERGRATE SCENT:I’m a convert to essential oils, and though the best method would be to have a scent diffusers for each housing unit, it comes down to where to put them so the inmates can’t tamper with them and who would then replace the water and oil. So that’s a no-go, but the inmates get mops and mop water and cleaning supplies every day, so put several drops of a mood-boosting essential oil into the water, and as the inmates mop, they will spread the scent. It may not last all day, but just that brief shot of a mood-boosting scent will go a long way and the inmates will feel more inclined to clean, because who isn’t attracted to a good scent? Extra money needed: The cheapest brand of essential oil (and getting enough of it to cover all housing units for a while) Approx. $100INTERGRATE MUSIC:We already afford a TV in each block and trust the inmates to handle them with due-care, so affording a radio (which is cheaper) is no burden. Extra money needed: $20 a radio.INTERGRATE SELF-HELP BOOKS:My jail already has books. Most places will donate books to the jail, such as libraries and used book stores. So that cost takes care of itself. Extra money needed: $0INTERGRATE FRESH-AIR:Ideally – again, in a perfect world – the housing units would have their own yard attached to them so the inmates could go outside whenever they wanted. Inmates fight because they can’t get away from each other to cool down and change their mood. But if your jail is like mine and you have one yard for 13 housing units, at least allow each block yard time every other day or more._____________________________________MORE IS BETTERCan you just use scent and make a difference? Do you just need to install a radio in each housing unit to make the jails empty and stop repeat offenders? Each of those things will make a difference on their own, but the only way to drive criminal activity down, make the jails empty, and rehabilitate so we don't have repeat offenders, is to employ ALL my suggested methods, to include the deputized therapists. But each method will have still have an effect, so all in all, the more methods which are employed, the better the results.FINAL NOTE:So even if your jail is like mine, the cost to make this all happen is very small but has a huge pay-out. Can you picture this? 2 guys fighting each other to the tune of classical violin music inside a purple-painted room smelling of lavender with self-help books laying on the table next to them?I can’t picture it, either.JM Robison is the author of The War Queen, published with Tirgearr Publishing.

Credit scores will keep you homeless and jobless

America has created a system that, once you fall from it, you are screwed. Forever. This system will cause you to lose – or never get – a car and a house, the 2 most vital things every adult American needs today to function in this society. You need a house to live in to take care of your basic human needs (food, water, warmth, shelter). You need a car to drive to the grocery story and buy food and to take you to your job where you earn money so you can afford a house and the basic human needs.What is this system I speak of? Credit. You have to have credit to qualify to purchase a vehicle and a house. Without credit – or with bad credit – you will be denied those 2 things.You just graduated high school and you move out of the house. You’re getting your first job, but to get that first job you have to have a car to drive you to that job. You go to buy a car but you are denied purchase because you have zero credit. You have zero credit because you just graduated high school. You have to have credit to get credit. So you can’t buy a car to get you to your job, and if you can’t get a job you can’t afford your apartment. If you can’t afford your apartment, you’ll be homeless without the basic human needs.But there is a fix. You co-sign with someone. NOW Car Dealership will let you purchase that car and you live happily ever after with no more credit issues ever.What a joke. Everyone has had credit score issues. You might relate to the below 2 scenarios:Scenario #1 (This is a true story)IT STARTS OUT GOOD:Sally married Joe. Sally made 30,000 a year and Joe made 90,000 a year. Together, they afforded a nice house, 3 vehicles, and a 4x4. They took vacations. They paid their taxes. They afforded clothing and food with ease.UNEXPECTED, UNPREVENTABLE TRAGEDY:Joe had a medical condition that forced him to take time off work to deal with it. He began to run out of sick time. The condition got worse enough he was authorized temporary disability to give him time to fix this medical condition and get back to work fixed up and ready to perform. Joe’s job didn’t want to pay him to be out on temporary disability, so they fired him. Joe got representation to fight this verdict, to no avail. Joe was out of a job.WHAT FOLLOWS:Without Joe’s income, they were living on 30,000 a year. The bills they had piled on when Joe had work didn’t go away. They couldn’t afford to pay for one of their vehicles if they had any chance of eating. Sally called the loan company on this car, begged them to give them an extension which should give Joe enough time to find another job. Loan Company refused to provide a loan extension, saying they wouldn’t authorize it unless BOTH Joe and Sally had work, which didn’t make any sense to Sally because if they both had work, they wouldn’t need the extension. Loan Company repossessed the car. Joe and Sally’s credit tanked.THE ENDLESS CYCLE OF “YOU’RE SCREWED”:With the loss of Joe’s job, they now couldn’t afford health insurance for Joe to fix his medical condition, and since he couldn’t get his medical condition fixed, Joe couldn’t find another job because his condition would keep him out of work enough times they would eventually fire him, as had happened already. This went on for 3 years until one day, Sally discovered they could qualify for a 20,000 cash loan which would raise their monthly house payment a mere $30. They were ecstatic. With this loan, they could completely pay off one vehicle, freeing up $680 every month. With this extra money, they could finally afford medical insurance for Joe so he could get his condition fixed and finally get a job.Sally started the approval process, and was denied because – you guessed it – her and Joe’s credit score was too low. They found a co-signer but the company would not accept a co-signer. Without extra money every month, they couldn't afford Joe’s health insurance. Without health insurance, Joe couldn't get fixed. Since Joe couldn't get fixed, he couldn't get work and earn money to pay the bills and improve their credit. Sally and Joe will continue this endless cycle.This endless cycle all started because Joe had a medical condition that got him fired from a job. Unexpected and unpreventable.Scenario #2IT STARTS OUT GOOD:Bill is a soldier and returns from serving 1 year in Iraq. Bill gets a normal job. Bill affords a house and a car.UNEXPECTED, UNPREVENTABLE TRAGEDY:Bill is fired from his job because the company is downsizing and new guys are the first to go.WHAT FOLLOWS:Bill lives in an area where people don’t like to hire veterans. Bill can’t get another job because of this, and his car is repossessed. Because he no longer has a means to drive 15 miles into town where all the jobs are, he is unable to continue his search for work. Because he still doesn’t have work, they foreclose Bill’s house. Bill’s credit tanked.THE ENDLESS CYCLE OF “YOU’RE SCREWED”:Joe is capable of walking 15 miles into town to look for work, but he can’t live that close to town because being homeless, the city has rules against “camping within city limits” which is an arrestable offense and Bill doesn’t want to go to jail. The closest he can get to town and camp is 3 miles. Joe looks for work, but he has no money for clothes, a shave, or hygiene items and people won’t hire him because he’s dirty and stinks. Joe tries buying another house so he’ll have a place to shower and wash his clothes, but they deny him the loan because – you guessed it – Bill’s credit was so terrible. (And people wonder why we have so many homeless veterans.)This endless cycle all started because Bill was fired from a job because the company was downsizing and new guys were the first to go. Unexpected. Unpreventable.FINAL THOUGHT:Our credit system keeps people homeless and jobless. Once you fall from that ladder, you are done. Both me and my husband are hard working, tax paying citizens and yet scenario #1 happened to us. We are stuck in this black hole because our credit is bad enough we can’t get a loan to pay off debt which would give us more money to pay off all our other debt and keep us from going homeless. We are not the only ones like this. This system is ruining poor Americans. God-forbid any tragedy with job-loss happens to you because if it does, our credit score system will put a boot on your chest and push you deeper under the dirt.JM Robison is the author of The War Queen, published with Tirgearr Publishing.

I beta read for free

WHAT YOU GET WHEN I CRITIQUE YOUR WRITING:1-Honest opinions from a published author (me) whose been writing for 16 years, completed 7 novels, and been rejected for publication 47 times before my current contract with Tirgearr Publishing.2-Tips on how to improve your writing if needed, to include links to blogs/websites where you can further investigate the authenticity of my comments I might make.3-I won't check for spelling or grammar. That is your job.5-If you want to read something I've written so you can judge for yourself if I even know a thing or two about writing, clickHERE.WHY YOU NEED A BETA READER:1-Being writers, we fall too deeply in love with our writing and, just like with children, we want to believe they are perfect and in no need of improvement. But that is not so. For writing, you get so close to it you can no longer see (or refuse to see) mistakes. It takes a fresh pair of eyes to lovingly point those out to you.2-They can give you unexpected tips to improve your writing style. Like a beta reader did for me. Now I'm published.IF YOU WANT ME TO BETA READ FOR YOU:Email your first 3 chapters to nevercease@writing.com in the body of the email. You may think the first 3 chapters is not enough, but literary agents will only ask for your first 3 chapters (some ask for less) and so my reading and commenting on your 3 chapters will help you see what an agent might think of them, so you can know what might be hanging you up. Also, I don't have to read the whole book to know if your writing style is strong or to know if the plot picks up quickly. Your writing style in the first 3 chapters will be the same writing style in chapter 100, so if I offer advice on how to improve your style, you can use it for chapter 100, too.RULES:* Your novels MUST be complete. This matters because if you've only written 5 chapters and want a critique on the first 3, you'll be crushed when my comments are not favorable. 1st drafts are ALWAYS crap, and if I crush you with unfavorable comments you may not finish the book, and I don't want to do that to you.* If I suggest something, I don't want to hear you defend it. You wanted me to beta read because you believed you could use some improvement, so stop defending the things that need improvement.* If I ask a question, I don't want you to email me back with the answer, but I DO want you to consider clarifying whatever it is I questioned IN THE WRITING ITSELF so other readers behind me won't have questions.* I only read fiction. Don't send me non-fiction material. I also will not read LGBT, rape, incest, etc., or sex scenes.* Declare in the email what draft number you are on (1st draft? 100th?) and if you plan to self-publish, traditionally publish, or are just writing for fun. My overall comments vary depending on this, so it's important.* I am only one reader with one set of opinions. If you don't like my suggestions, please find another beta reader. They might feel differently. If they feel the same, however, that's a clear indicator you should probably change what they recommend you change.* There are times I get a lot of requests, so if you don't hear from me right away, it just means you are still waiting in line.JM Robison is the author of The War Queen, published with Tirgearr Publishing.