J.M. Robison's Blog, page 5
June 1, 2017
The Genre is What You Wrote, Not What You Think You Wrote.
I didn't know what genre The War Queen was about. I knew it was a New Adult because my main characters are 29 and 35 and I knew it was a fantasy because it was my own fictional world.So I started pitching it as such. After 40 rejections, it took 2 beta readers to tell me "what a great romance!" and 3 months of change of heart to accept I wrote a romance (I hate romances). But it was true. I looked up the elements for a romance and I qualified.Crap. I didn't want to write a romance. But that's okay. Remember, you are not a writer. You are the historian for another world. You are just writing down what that world decides to show you and let you hear. And that world chose me to be their writer to write their romance story.So I changed my pitch. “The War Queen, new adult fantasy romance at 109,000 words....” and after I realized the correct genre, I had 2 agents request the entire manuscript. I was rejected 40 times previously because, you guessed it, I was pitching the wrong agents. I needed to pitch fantasy romance agents, not fantasy agents, and it's because of the publisher I queried that publishes fantasy romances that I finally got offered a contract. Don't believe me when I say that knowing your genre matters? Read this blog.
Learn about the different POV's and tenses
POV: Point of View (everything happening as one character sees it. EX: I saw it, she saw it, you saw it)TENSE: past, present, or future (EX: saw, see, will see)Here are examples of different ways to use POV and TENSE:1st POV, PAST TENSE: “I thrashed with every part of my body that could move but too many hands held me fast. The sack around my head tightened, controlled me, angled my body as someone else grabbed my legs and lowered my boots to the floor. I bucked and coiled but arms and hands clamped me tightly. (Hint: attach “ed” at the end of verbs, and change words like “hold” to “held”.)1st POV, PRESENT TENSE: “I thrash with every part of my body that could move but too many hands hold me fast. The sack around my head tightens, controlling me, angling my body as someone else grabs my legs and lowers my boots to the floor. I buck and coil but arms and hands clamp me tightly. (Hint: attach an “s” or “ing” to the end of verbs, or take off the “ed”. Also change words like “held” to “hold.)1st POV, FUTURE TENSE: “I will thrash with every part of my body that will move but too many hands might hold me fast. The sack around my head could likely tighten and control me, while someone else might grab my legs and lower my boots to the floor. If that happens, I will buck and coil if arms and hands don’t clamp me tightly. (Hint: add words like “will” “could likely” “might”)2nd POV, PAST TENSE: “You thrashed with every part of your body that could move but too many hands held you fast. The sack around your head tightened, controlled you, angled your body as someone else grabbed your legs and lowered your boots to the floor. You bucked and coiled but arms and hands clamped you tightly.2nd POV, PRESENT TENSE: “You thrash with every part of your body that could move but too many hands hold you fast. The sack around your head tightens, controls you, angles your body as someone else grabs your legs and lowers your boots to the floor. You buck and coil but arms and hands clamp you tightly. (Ever read a “choose your own adventure” book? That is where this comes into play)2nd POV, FUTURE TENSE: “You will thrash with every part of your body that can move but too many hands might hold you fast. The sack around your head could likely tighten, controlling you, angling your body so someone else might grab your legs and lower your boots to the floor. You might buck and coil but arms and hands will likely clamp you too tightly.
3rd POV, PAST TENSE: “He thrashed with every part of his body that could move but too many hands held him fast. The sack around his head tightened, controlled him, angled his body as someone else grabbed his legs and lowered his boots to the floor. He bucked and coiled but arms and hands clamped him tightly. (This is most the most popular of POV and tenses used in fiction books.)3rd POV, PRESENT TENSE: “He thrashes with every part of his body that could move but too many hands hold him fast. The sack around his head tightens, controls him, angles his body as someone else grabs his legs and lowers his boots to the floor. He bucks and coils but arms and hands clamp him tightly.3rd POV, FUTURE TENSE: “He might thrash with every part of his body that can move but too many hands will probably hold him fast. The sack around his head will likely tighten and control him, angling his body as someone else might grab his legs and lower his boots to the floor. He might buck and coil but arms and hands will likely clamp him tightly.As you can see, some POV’s and tenses are more practical than others, and some don’t work at all. Now for the rule breaking…HOW TO BREAK THESE RULES:1) 1st person present tense is strictly for one character, and nothing in the book happens unless that character knows it. So what if you have 2 main characters and you want to write in 1st POV present tense? A good book to look at is “These Broken Stars,” by Amie Kaufman and Meagan Spooner. They have 2 main characters and the book is written 1st POV, present tense. How they did it, is every other chapter is written in the other main character’s POV, and it worked out beautiful.2) Another rule breaker is “The Help” written by Tate Taylor. There are 3 main characters, and the book is written in 1st POV. The author got away with this because each character has their own special way of speaking (think of uneducated deep south black woman for one character, and college savvy white girl for another character). So when the character spoke, you could tell who it was. Plus, naming the chapter after that character so there were no confusions helped too.3) In my own book, The War Queen, it is written in 3rd person, past tense. The first 50 or so pages of the book is all written in Altarn’s POV. Then I start writing some chapters in Kaelin’s POV after page 50. It’s easier to get away with multiple points of views in 3rd person, but usually a rule for that is to introduce those characters who will hold a POV in the book at the very beginning so the reader can start warming up to them. But I broke this rule for the War Queen. While all of my POV holding characters were introduced in the beginning chapters of my book, I held out on Kaelin’s POV until after page 50 (for obvious reasons). So since the reader was not expecting his POV and I didn’t want to confuse them by randomly giving him his own POV chapter, right before his chapter begins, I inserted a nice blank page that says “Part II”. This lets the reader know that something is about to change, so when they turn the page and see Kaelin’s POV chapter, they aren’t confused.4) So what’s a catch-all rule breaker? Just make sure you do not confuse the reader. As long as you are clear about which character holds the POV, you are fine.NOTE: Don’t mix tenses (meaning, don’t have one chapter present tense and the other chapter past tense). I read a self-published book where the author wrote some chapters in 1st person, present tense and other chapters in 3rd person, past tense. It makes for a severely choppy flow and yanks the reader out of the “reading rhythm” every time they force their brains to readjust to a new reading style, which takes a couple of pages for the adjustment to take effect. (Self-published books have a bad reputation already, and it’s because of things like this.). Readers read to relax and enjoy. If they have to work to understand what you wrote, they won’t read you.
3rd POV, PAST TENSE: “He thrashed with every part of his body that could move but too many hands held him fast. The sack around his head tightened, controlled him, angled his body as someone else grabbed his legs and lowered his boots to the floor. He bucked and coiled but arms and hands clamped him tightly. (This is most the most popular of POV and tenses used in fiction books.)3rd POV, PRESENT TENSE: “He thrashes with every part of his body that could move but too many hands hold him fast. The sack around his head tightens, controls him, angles his body as someone else grabs his legs and lowers his boots to the floor. He bucks and coils but arms and hands clamp him tightly.3rd POV, FUTURE TENSE: “He might thrash with every part of his body that can move but too many hands will probably hold him fast. The sack around his head will likely tighten and control him, angling his body as someone else might grab his legs and lower his boots to the floor. He might buck and coil but arms and hands will likely clamp him tightly.As you can see, some POV’s and tenses are more practical than others, and some don’t work at all. Now for the rule breaking…HOW TO BREAK THESE RULES:1) 1st person present tense is strictly for one character, and nothing in the book happens unless that character knows it. So what if you have 2 main characters and you want to write in 1st POV present tense? A good book to look at is “These Broken Stars,” by Amie Kaufman and Meagan Spooner. They have 2 main characters and the book is written 1st POV, present tense. How they did it, is every other chapter is written in the other main character’s POV, and it worked out beautiful.2) Another rule breaker is “The Help” written by Tate Taylor. There are 3 main characters, and the book is written in 1st POV. The author got away with this because each character has their own special way of speaking (think of uneducated deep south black woman for one character, and college savvy white girl for another character). So when the character spoke, you could tell who it was. Plus, naming the chapter after that character so there were no confusions helped too.3) In my own book, The War Queen, it is written in 3rd person, past tense. The first 50 or so pages of the book is all written in Altarn’s POV. Then I start writing some chapters in Kaelin’s POV after page 50. It’s easier to get away with multiple points of views in 3rd person, but usually a rule for that is to introduce those characters who will hold a POV in the book at the very beginning so the reader can start warming up to them. But I broke this rule for the War Queen. While all of my POV holding characters were introduced in the beginning chapters of my book, I held out on Kaelin’s POV until after page 50 (for obvious reasons). So since the reader was not expecting his POV and I didn’t want to confuse them by randomly giving him his own POV chapter, right before his chapter begins, I inserted a nice blank page that says “Part II”. This lets the reader know that something is about to change, so when they turn the page and see Kaelin’s POV chapter, they aren’t confused.4) So what’s a catch-all rule breaker? Just make sure you do not confuse the reader. As long as you are clear about which character holds the POV, you are fine.NOTE: Don’t mix tenses (meaning, don’t have one chapter present tense and the other chapter past tense). I read a self-published book where the author wrote some chapters in 1st person, present tense and other chapters in 3rd person, past tense. It makes for a severely choppy flow and yanks the reader out of the “reading rhythm” every time they force their brains to readjust to a new reading style, which takes a couple of pages for the adjustment to take effect. (Self-published books have a bad reputation already, and it’s because of things like this.). Readers read to relax and enjoy. If they have to work to understand what you wrote, they won’t read you.
Mining for meaning
What we like to read changes every few years. In the 8th century people liked Beowulf. In 1600 people liked Shakespear (written in poetry or plays). In 1954 people liked Lord of the Rings (very heavy in description). And now we’ve changed again to where description is getting smaller and smaller because readers want action action action.So it’s not enough anymore to say, "The stab wound hurt" "he was angry" "she was in love". You need to "mine" the words hurt, angry, love – dig deep into what those words ARE:Instead of: The stab wound hurtTry instead: White hot fire sizzled deep inside the wound (this is what the word "hurt" might look like once you mine down to the bare bones of the meaning of the word.) Instead of: She was angryTry instead: A fanged monster clinched teeth around her calm and shook until she was poisoned with the need for vengeance. (This is what the word "angry" might look like once you mine down to the bare bones of the meaning of the word. Naturally, yours will be different than mine.)Instead of: She was in loveTry instead: A whisper teased for her to dwell on deliciously forbidden things that got her heart to race so she had to walk around to expel the burning energy. (This is what the word "love" might look like once you mine down to the bare bones of the meaning of the word.)Flesh out the story. Mine those words and figure what they mean and use that meaning instead of the definition.
Villains Are Made, Not Born
The inspiration for this blog post comes from The Wizard’s First Rule by Terry Goodkind. It came about at the part where character X is kidnapped by Mistress A. Mistress A declares she will “train” X by inflicting massive pain upon him. Like any logical person, X asks her, “And what is the purpose of my training, Mistress A?”To which she replies: "To teach you the meaning of pain. To teach you that your life is no longer yours, that it is mine, and I can do anything I want with it. Anything. I can hurt you in any way I want, for as long as I want, and no one is going to help you but me. I'm going to teach you that every moment you have without pain is a moment only I can grant you. You are going to learn to do as I say without question, without hesitation, no matter what it is. You are going to learn to beg for anything you get." To which she also says, “I enjoy it when a man makes it hard.”Why does Mistress A have this desire to inflict pain on others? What is her goal for doing so?It’s not enough for the character to say, “I enjoy it when a man makes it hard.” You need to address the REASON why she enjoys it, otherwise she’s a rebel without a cause, an antagonist with no GOAL. To be a realistic antagonist, a goal and the reason for wanting that goal need to be addressed.See these examples. Read them all or just a few.1) Take real life villains. I choose ISIS – the Islamic terrorist group infiltrating every country. Their GOAL is to kill everyone who does not follow their religion. The REASON is because their religion tells them to kill everyone who does not follow their religion. There is a clear goal and a clear why. Thus, our real life antagonists.2) My sister-in-law, JJ. JJ is an attention hog, to the point she will intentionally create massive drama so she can be in the center of it, because everyone will see her. What’s her GOAL? To be the center of attention. What is the REASON for that goal? Because she’s a narcissist.3) Hitler killed Jews due to claims they had turned against Germany during the First War. Also that they were behind the downfall of Germany in WWI. His GOAL was to kill the Jews. The REASON was because he believed they had turned against Germany during the First War. (Note that a villain’s claims don’t have to be true, only that the villain believes them to be true.)4) In a fantasy book of mine, the villain wants to kill every race of people that are non-human. That’s his GOAL. The REASON is because he has the deep subconscious belief that he’s a fallen god and those non-humans he wants to kill were a mistake he created.5) In another fantasy book of mine, the villain keeps a wizard imprisoned so my villain can harvest the wizard’s magic. The GOAL for doing this is to harvest the wizard’s magic. The REASON the villain wants to harvest the wizard’s magic is so my villain can use the magic to create money and make himself rich.
They all have the same elements in these examples, even the real-life villains: they all have a GOAL and a REASON for wanting that goal.Below are the excuses – disguised as reasons - villains may use to justify their goal:EXCUSE FOR BEHAVOIR: They want power (such as “taking over the world”)GOAL: Kill everyone who opposes themEXCUSE FOR BEHAVOIR: They love to inflict pain on othersGOAL: to inflict pain on othersI call them excuses - instead of reasons – because those still open up questions as to WHY. WHY do they want to take over the world? WHY do they love to inflict pain on others?See these excuses changed into reasons:REASON FOR WANTING POWER: He was beholden to his captors for 20 years and, finally freed, wants to reclaim his dignity and prove to himself he will never be beholden to anyone again.GOAL: Make as many people as he can conquer be beholden to him.REASON FOR LOVING TO INFLICT PAIN ON OTHERS: Someone hurt her. Badly, and for so long that the pain became an additional sensation she could feel, and she forced that sensation to thrill her so began craving it instead. She did that because it’s much easier to handle a thrilling sensation than a painful one. She wanted to show other people what this amazing sensation was, so she kidnapped them and inflicted pain on them because that is how she learned how amazing the sensation of pain can feel.GOAL: Share with others the thrilling sensation of pain_____________________________We shy away from giving villains reasons for their goal because – at the very core of it – that villain likely suffered as a victim at some point in their life, and that suffering was a direct cause for them growing into a villain. Human nature doesn’t like seeing suffering, and to see the villain suffering before they were a villain makes us want to pity them instead of hate them, and we are supposed to hate the villain, aren’t we? I saw a quote that said, “Evil queens are the princesses who were never rescued.” A villain is never born. A villain is made by outside forces. You noticed my picture of Walter White from Breaking Bad. He didn't start out as a villain. He was dying of cancer and his wife nagged at him to pay for treatment. Cancer treatment is expensive. So Walter White produced meth and sold it to pay for it. And the villainy began.PRACTICE THIS:As you go about your year, find the villain in books and movies and find their REASON and their GOAL. Here are some ideas to get you started:Darth VadarVoldemortThe JokerCaptain HookYou might be surprised that there are a lot of villains who have a goal but lack the reason for it. For further advice on making realistic villains, see this BLOGRight. Back to reading The Wizard’s First Rule and enduring an insufferable villain while she tortures character X without a reason.
They all have the same elements in these examples, even the real-life villains: they all have a GOAL and a REASON for wanting that goal.Below are the excuses – disguised as reasons - villains may use to justify their goal:EXCUSE FOR BEHAVOIR: They want power (such as “taking over the world”)GOAL: Kill everyone who opposes themEXCUSE FOR BEHAVOIR: They love to inflict pain on othersGOAL: to inflict pain on othersI call them excuses - instead of reasons – because those still open up questions as to WHY. WHY do they want to take over the world? WHY do they love to inflict pain on others?See these excuses changed into reasons:REASON FOR WANTING POWER: He was beholden to his captors for 20 years and, finally freed, wants to reclaim his dignity and prove to himself he will never be beholden to anyone again.GOAL: Make as many people as he can conquer be beholden to him.REASON FOR LOVING TO INFLICT PAIN ON OTHERS: Someone hurt her. Badly, and for so long that the pain became an additional sensation she could feel, and she forced that sensation to thrill her so began craving it instead. She did that because it’s much easier to handle a thrilling sensation than a painful one. She wanted to show other people what this amazing sensation was, so she kidnapped them and inflicted pain on them because that is how she learned how amazing the sensation of pain can feel.GOAL: Share with others the thrilling sensation of pain_____________________________We shy away from giving villains reasons for their goal because – at the very core of it – that villain likely suffered as a victim at some point in their life, and that suffering was a direct cause for them growing into a villain. Human nature doesn’t like seeing suffering, and to see the villain suffering before they were a villain makes us want to pity them instead of hate them, and we are supposed to hate the villain, aren’t we? I saw a quote that said, “Evil queens are the princesses who were never rescued.” A villain is never born. A villain is made by outside forces. You noticed my picture of Walter White from Breaking Bad. He didn't start out as a villain. He was dying of cancer and his wife nagged at him to pay for treatment. Cancer treatment is expensive. So Walter White produced meth and sold it to pay for it. And the villainy began.PRACTICE THIS:As you go about your year, find the villain in books and movies and find their REASON and their GOAL. Here are some ideas to get you started:Darth VadarVoldemortThe JokerCaptain HookYou might be surprised that there are a lot of villains who have a goal but lack the reason for it. For further advice on making realistic villains, see this BLOGRight. Back to reading The Wizard’s First Rule and enduring an insufferable villain while she tortures character X without a reason.
Music Links in Books?
I’m a writer. To put me deeper into my story as I write it, I listen to music that deals with the theme of what I am currently writing. Such as, I listen to rain sounds while I write scenes about rain, I listen to Johann Strauss’s Voices of Spring as I write my ballroom scene in 1842 Victorian England.But I am also a reader.As a reader, I would love to read a book that included a music/sound link right at the scene that deals with that music/sound, so I can listen to rain while I read about it raining.I pitched this idea to a couple readers and writers, and they either had similar thoughts or thought the idea to be really neat.Then my publisher said this to me when I pitched the idea to them:The problem with adding music to books (not impossible) is most everything is copyrighted. We can't (aren't supposed to) even use one line from any popular song from the last 75 years. I knew a writer who wanted to use the line, "It's a lovely day for a white wedding." She changed 'nice' to 'white' but it was still too close to the song lyric.She went to Billy Idol for permission to use the two words 'white wedding' and he said 'sure, for $10,000.'Music and lyrics don't fall under the same fair use laws as book text. And it's different still for trademarks. Another issue is file size. You'd want to embed sounds into the pages where they'd play automatically, changing when the scene changes. That takes a whole other type of formatting, but also the file would be massive. Places like Amazon charge a WhisperNet fee which is an added cost by Amazon and is based on the book's file size. The larger the file size, the higher the fee.The other problem with added sounds and music is that for many readers (and writers) music (especially with lyrics) is too distracting. While you can get away with adding, let's say, some Tchaikovsky to a book, you could only use a version that was recorded over 75 years ago, because anyone else performing his music after that time means their version is copyrighted. Which means while Tchaikovsky's music is out of copyright, Andre Rieu's performance of it is not.SAD! Though I expected this. However, this is still only 2016, we’ve come a long way from 1842 England where you had to go to a ballroom to listen to music. I do believe that, with enough hype, we can institute this idea into the books we read (and write), in order to attain yet a deeper level of involvement into the story. This could also be beneficial for braille readers.Comment with your thoughts. Share this post to spread the word and see what others feel about it. It might just generate the hype we need.
Our Need for Drama in Books
Bob woke up. It was a beautiful day. His wife had breakfast ready for him. He loved her dearly. He drove to work in his corvette. He arrived at work. The job was really easy and he got paid extremely well, so well that his car and house were completely paid off and he went on vacation every month with his beautiful wife and 3 well behaved kids. He took a 5 hour lunch break and went home after the work day to a wonderful dinner and went to bed, falling asleep as his wife gave him a backrub. THE END.If you managed to choke through that horrible story and are still reading, you’ll now see why I say that humans crave drama.My story about Bob had no drama. His life was perfect. He had everything he wanted and didn’t have to work hard for it. As a reader, you might find that unrealistic. Further, you probably thought, “What the heck was the point? Bob didn’t do anything.”Why do writers slave over months and years to write a book, why do readers crave to read what they write? Harry Potter. Game of Thrones. The Hunger Games. Why do we love them so much?We love them because we love to be emotionally jarred. I don’t care if you are a peace-loving, God-fearing saint, you love drama.
I can prove this because since Adam and Eve, the world has gone through periods of war and periods of peace, over and over; through the bible, through our own recorded history, and in our individual lives. It’s impossible for humans to maintain the same homeostasis. We war because we have this deep need to shake up our emotions. We have peace because our emotions need a break. And then we want them shaken up again. This cycle has been revolving since Cain killed his brother and to this day where many countries threaten with war. We’ve had our time of peace. We can’t maintain the same homeostasis forever.We write this drama into books, we read this drama in books. Have you ever gotten bored and then done something that got you into trouble? Did you HAVE to choose an activity that got you into trouble? Why didn’t you wash the dishes or draw a picture instead?Why do we ride roller coasters, sky dive, swim with the sharks? Because we all want to FEEL something, and those adrenaline rushes create a temporary dramatic event in our lives. You won’t be bored on a roller coaster, but you likely will doing the dishes.FINAL NOTE: Humans have this deep craving for drama. If we don’t have it in our own lives, then we want to read about it and watch it on TV, because we still get to feel the same drama the characters feel. We can’t maintain the same homeostasis forever.
I can prove this because since Adam and Eve, the world has gone through periods of war and periods of peace, over and over; through the bible, through our own recorded history, and in our individual lives. It’s impossible for humans to maintain the same homeostasis. We war because we have this deep need to shake up our emotions. We have peace because our emotions need a break. And then we want them shaken up again. This cycle has been revolving since Cain killed his brother and to this day where many countries threaten with war. We’ve had our time of peace. We can’t maintain the same homeostasis forever.We write this drama into books, we read this drama in books. Have you ever gotten bored and then done something that got you into trouble? Did you HAVE to choose an activity that got you into trouble? Why didn’t you wash the dishes or draw a picture instead?Why do we ride roller coasters, sky dive, swim with the sharks? Because we all want to FEEL something, and those adrenaline rushes create a temporary dramatic event in our lives. You won’t be bored on a roller coaster, but you likely will doing the dishes.FINAL NOTE: Humans have this deep craving for drama. If we don’t have it in our own lives, then we want to read about it and watch it on TV, because we still get to feel the same drama the characters feel. We can’t maintain the same homeostasis forever.
Balancing Descriptions: When and How Much?
Description seems to be a topic of debate recently, everything from too much description to having no description at all.THERE IS A BALANCEUse descriptions like you use your shampoo: just enough to get the job done and only deep condition every once in a while.THERE IS A THING AS TOO MUCH: I tried 3 times to read Lord of the Rings but could never get passed the first 20 pages. I was sick of that forest already and feared what else J.R.R Tolkien was going to fixate on and describe next.I also read another book where the author spent a page and a half describing just the COLOR of her hair.THERE IS A THING AS TOO LITTLE: I read a blog post that said readers don’t give a crap about what things look like because they are going to make up their own descriptions anyway. I don’t believe this one bit. I am a reader and I WANT to know what the character looks like. If I have to imagine what the character looks like then I might as well imagine what the town looks like and imagine what happens in the rest of the story, and then I might as well not read the story and read something else that doesn't make me work for those details.Stephen King said: “Description should start with the writer and end with the reader.”WHAT IS THE BALANCE?ANSWER: WHEN IT IS RELEVANT AND FEELS NATURAL TO THE SCENE.POOR USE: (Character is eating dinner and you randomly decide to describe what she's wearing): She wore high heels and a red dress.A BETTER USE: She nearly fell off her high heels with how abruptly she stopped, the red skirt of her dress swishing around so it brushed his knee.Why is the 2nd example better? Because it's more relevant and naturally flows into the scene connected to it. She’s running and has to stop. If you’ve ever worn high heels, it IS possible to fall off them (which is relevant to the moment of her “stopping abruptly”) and the motion of stopping would make the dress swing around and touch the man's knee. You are able to sneak in the color of the dress as well into that.So what does Stephen King mean to start the description and let it end with the reader? I believe it is this: The dress is red. Let the reader fill in if it is made out of silk, lace, has beads. Unless the material of the dress is VITAL to some super story plot, you don’t need it. Now, mentioning how the dress dips low at the cleavage might be relevant if it allures a guy over to speak with red-wearing dress girl.Make sure the description serves a purpose. Cleavage showing on the dress serves a purpose if something/someone reacts to it. Saying it is red serves a purpose in starting the description so the reader can finish it.Can you still describe the material because you have a super-neat idea for a dress you want in your story? Sure. We writers love showing off our ideas. Why else would we write? Just still keep it natural and relevant to the scene. And don't OVER do it, either, Mr. Lord of the Rings!
I read THRONE OF GLASS by Sarah Maas and the character drove me bonkers. Every time she put on a new dress (every day) she would stand in front of the mirror, smile, and describe what the dress looked like. I could never see the point in knowing exactly what every dress looked like. And I didn’t think standing in front of a mirror to describe them felt RELEVANT to the scene. Why does character care what her dress looks like? No one else is looking at it. Standing in front of a mirror to describe oneself IS a natural thing to do but not relevant to the purpose of wearing a dress.Now, standing in a ballroom and hoping the neck of your dress is not too low is relevant and natural to the scene (ballroom=description of dress. RELEVANT because people beside the character are looking at the dress and it may cause reactions for men to come over and interact with dress-wearing girl.)Another thing to note is WHO is doing the describing. If you've read Wizard's First Rule, Terry Goodkind did this well. The particular instance I'm talking of is this: Rachel lives in a castle. She's been there for some time. We see very, very little description of the castle from her, just enough to see where she's walking or sitting. The description is simple - table, floor, bed. This is fitting because in these chapters we are in Rachel's point of view and she is so used to the castle that it would be uncharacteristic for her to describe it in detail. She might have described it in detail if this was her first day, but we don't meet her during her first day. We meet her after she's been there a while.So then we go to Richard who has never been in Rachel's castle. He steps inside this same castle and description explodes as we are fed images of color and size. This is fitting, because he's never been here before. He goes on to describe vaulted ceilings with massive pillars ten people with linked hands wouldn't be able to reach around. The white and black marble floor, the meticulous garden outside. So while it would have felt natural and relevant to Rachel to describe the castle, Richard was the best fit to do so since it was his first visit.Think of a place you have been to many times. You're used to it now. You don't see the colors or the size. Now you bring a friend to this place, and they stop and stare and "ooh" and "aah" at the same thing you've seen over and over. Same thing with characters.OVERALL: Make sure description serves a purpose. Fit them in piece by piece as they become relevant to the moment and make sure it fits naturally in, and choose the best character to do this describing. Describing a dress while eating dinner is not relevant, but describing the dress while in a ballroom and a man comes over because he loves the color red, is. Start the description and let the reader finish it.
I read THRONE OF GLASS by Sarah Maas and the character drove me bonkers. Every time she put on a new dress (every day) she would stand in front of the mirror, smile, and describe what the dress looked like. I could never see the point in knowing exactly what every dress looked like. And I didn’t think standing in front of a mirror to describe them felt RELEVANT to the scene. Why does character care what her dress looks like? No one else is looking at it. Standing in front of a mirror to describe oneself IS a natural thing to do but not relevant to the purpose of wearing a dress.Now, standing in a ballroom and hoping the neck of your dress is not too low is relevant and natural to the scene (ballroom=description of dress. RELEVANT because people beside the character are looking at the dress and it may cause reactions for men to come over and interact with dress-wearing girl.)Another thing to note is WHO is doing the describing. If you've read Wizard's First Rule, Terry Goodkind did this well. The particular instance I'm talking of is this: Rachel lives in a castle. She's been there for some time. We see very, very little description of the castle from her, just enough to see where she's walking or sitting. The description is simple - table, floor, bed. This is fitting because in these chapters we are in Rachel's point of view and she is so used to the castle that it would be uncharacteristic for her to describe it in detail. She might have described it in detail if this was her first day, but we don't meet her during her first day. We meet her after she's been there a while.So then we go to Richard who has never been in Rachel's castle. He steps inside this same castle and description explodes as we are fed images of color and size. This is fitting, because he's never been here before. He goes on to describe vaulted ceilings with massive pillars ten people with linked hands wouldn't be able to reach around. The white and black marble floor, the meticulous garden outside. So while it would have felt natural and relevant to Rachel to describe the castle, Richard was the best fit to do so since it was his first visit.Think of a place you have been to many times. You're used to it now. You don't see the colors or the size. Now you bring a friend to this place, and they stop and stare and "ooh" and "aah" at the same thing you've seen over and over. Same thing with characters.OVERALL: Make sure description serves a purpose. Fit them in piece by piece as they become relevant to the moment and make sure it fits naturally in, and choose the best character to do this describing. Describing a dress while eating dinner is not relevant, but describing the dress while in a ballroom and a man comes over because he loves the color red, is. Start the description and let the reader finish it.
May 29, 2017
A Thousand Hearts
A horror short story.It splattered on the back of his neck in a coil of shivers sliding down his skin. Drip. Drip. Drip. It slithered into his shirt; a snaking river of soulless hunger, chomping at his flesh to feed their endless bellies. He couldn’t fathom why hostages fought to remove blind folds in all the stories he heard. He would count it a small mercy for him to shut his eyes against all the mechanical teeth and claws dangling in slashes of silver above him, panting in hunger as the draft touched them, water sluicing off the fine edges like drool, splattering on the back of his neck. Drip. Drip. Drip. A monster with an endless hunger. But he was going to feed it anyway, like feeding leaves into the wind. Sucking, tossing, whirling in oblivion to circle the world and return for more. He didn’t think it was possible to finally reach a point when his heart stopped racing and his lungs stopped obeying his screams he was certain were pushed into the future with his volume and fervency. In these last three hours, he had done things and said things and agreed to things he wouldn’t have ever done even in an audience of his friends with pretty Miala watching with a kiss for his reward. But here water drooled on him. He could move away from it if he wanted. They had removed his chains already. But he remained, soaking his shirt, trying to figure out if his unwillingness to move was powered from a defiance that he would no longer fight his end or to prove he was no longer afraid of it. The door in front of him opened so soundlessly, it was a moment before he noticed the slice of blackness gaping and ready to swallow him. Time to feed the monster. Drip. Drip. Drip. His masked escort beckoned him, curling fingers like claws. But it wasn’t Miala with his kiss of a reward. She had screamed with him as he was dragged backward with a sack over his head. The beckoning became more fervent. The monster of knives and fire is hungry, it seemed to say. Its heart beat thrummed in his ears already; a drip drip dripping on the back of his neck. His masked escort removed the hood and the mask. A spill of liquid night slipped over her shoulders, framing the jewels of her eyes and innocent little pout of her lips. Miala didn’t have lips like that. A goddess maybe, but not Miala. Miala didn’t even have the velvety warmth of skin which this woman had brushed away his fears, caressed acceptance into the cracks of his anguish. Her eyes bore into him, and he was ashamed he fought her when she brought him here. His heat begged for forgiveness. Reminded of his acceptance, he remained undecided whether to beg to let him stay and stare at her eyes for the rest of eternity or to leap into her embrace which would smother and carry him to an endless pool of hunger. A promised kiss for his reward. The drip drip drip was no longer the drooling of knives above his head, no longer the heartbeat of the monster of death he was going to feed. It was a word. Go. Go. Go swiftly into her warmth where she would whisper promises of touches and reassure him that death was just one more step, one more blink of an eye. A reanimated heart pulsed blood back into his limbs and he dashed into her embrace. “My kiss?” A question. A plea. “Too soon.” A breath like a star’s sigh passed over his face. “Are you ready to come with me?” “Please.” He clung onto her cloak like a child to its mother, begging as he trailed her through the throat of the monster, deeper and deeper into its entrails. The thwarm of his own heart in his neck, in his brain counting down the clock his moment of life and passion would end in the same breath. What a clashing to herald him into a death throbbing with his own endless hunger, searching for a way back into his life to do it all again. The knife, the blood will bow against her lips, her warmth. Upon the crimson table he laid himself, already aching from the absence of her skin. She leaned over him, her lips hushing words against his closed eyes. “The gods must have a willing sacrifice.” “Please.” It was the only word he could choke out. He reached for her. She let him touch her this time, slid his hands across her skin, pulling her down so he could drink of her breath to give him life again in the eternity she was sending him to. The hungry monster didn’t growl or hiss. It simply slipped into his view above him with a daggered flash. He watched it arrive because he would not blink against the eternal depth of her jeweled eyes. He wished he had two hearts to offer… a thousand hearts to beat and pulse in his body in time with the dip and draw of her lips against his and remain alive long enough so she could cut out each one. But he only had one heart to offer. The hungry monster dipped a fang into his chest; a cold, sharp bite that seized his breath and arched his back. Her kisses deepened and he softened. Another bit. Another flinch of his mortal carcass. “Weak…” she murmured against his mouth. He wasn’t weak. He couldn’t be. If he died too soon he would be robbed of her fire moaning against his lips. He wished he had more hearts. The monster chomped and gnawed with ancient practice, his chest heaving up and down with every stroke. Sawing bone rumbled a hallow echo in his body as if counting down to the last sever. The pain of knowing her kiss would end outweighed any other trivial mortal ailments. His heart throbbed in her fingers as she lifted it above him, pulsing blood down her throat and chest, making him wish he had more blood to wash over her luscious skin. Crimson looked so pretty against her skin of star dust. Her jewels held his gaze until the dark wash of her hair swirled around him in a cocoon of dark eternity, his heart finally drained of blood. Drip. Drip. Drip.
May 28, 2017
Actual Historical Events Used in The Last Wizard
Since I based The Last Wizard off a real time period and place (Victorian Era England), I wanted to be as accurate as possible in my facts, and as an extra bonus I wanted to involve real historic events. Below are the events used in The Last Wizard:_______________________________________________________Wars of the RosesA series of dynastic wars for the throne of England. They were fought between supporters of two rival branches of the royal House of Plantagenet, the Houses of Lancaster and York. They were fought in several sporadic episodes between 1455 and 1487, although there was related fighting before and after this period. The final victory went to a claimant of the Lancastrian party, Henry Tudor, who defeated the last Yorkist king, Richard III, at the Battle of Bosworth Field.95 ThesesThe Ninety-Five Theses on the Power and Efficacy of Indulgences were written by Martin Luther and are widely regarded as the initial catalyst for the Protestant Reformation. The disputation protests against clerical abuses, especially nepotism, simony, usury, pluralism, and the sale of indulgences. It is generally believed that, according to university custom, on 31 October 1517, Luther posted the ninety-five theses, which he had composed in Latin, on the door of All Saints’ Church in Wittenberg, Germany.THESE NUMBER 94: Christians should be exhorted to be diligent in following Christ, their Head, through penalties, death, and hell.Victorian EraThe Victorian Era of British history was the period of Queen Victoria’s reign from 20 June 1837 until her death, on 22 January 1901. It was a long period of peace, prosperity, refined sensibilities, and national self-confidence for Britain. Within the fields of social history and literature, Victorianism refers to the study of late-Victorian attitudes and culture with a focus on the highly moralistic, straitlaced language and behavior of Victorian morality. The era followed the Georgian period and preceded the Edwardian period.AUTHOR NOTE: With the exception to girls being tied into their dresses, locked in their rooms at night, and using certain perfumes dependent on their courting status, all other social expectations were based on the actual decrees put out by Queen Victoria.Middle AgesIn European history, the Middle Ages, or Medieval period, lasted from the 5th to the 15th century. It began with the collapse of the Western Roman Empire and merged into the Renaissance and the Age of Discovery. The Middle Ages is the middle period of the three traditional divisions of Western history: Antiquity, Medieval period, and Modern period. The Medieval period is itself subdivided into the Early, the High, and the Late Middle Ages.
May 24, 2017
Toxic-Free Face Scrub
INGREDIENTS:1 disposable cotton round (found in the cosmetic section at your local store.)1 TBS baking soda (or less, depending on your needs)1 drop of either:MELALEUCA:the best for fighting acne. My mother says it softens her wrinkles, too.LAVENDER:2nd best for fighting acne, plus it gives you the added effect of softening your skin and doesn’t leave behind that “dry, tight skin” feel. Should also soften wrinkles.CEDERWOOD:helps with general skin imperfections and helps create an even skin tone.ANY OIL YOU WANT:Experiment. Whatever works for you and your needs.THE APPLICATION:Take a hot shower. This will open your pores for easier blackhead removal. Get out of the shower. Before your pores close, take one disposable cotton pad and get it wet with hot water. Add 1TBS of baking soda on the wet pad so it becomes a paste. Add 1 drop of your oil of choice. Any more drops and it will burn your skin. Scrub this around your face, paying special attention to blackhead areas, like your nose. Scrub the oil around your face until you feel happy you did a good job with it (don’t over-scrub). The baking soda scrubs off dead skin cells and acts as a magnet to dirt, pulling the dirt out of your pores. NOTE: essential oils are a benefit but not required.Leave this mixture on your face for about half a minute to allow the oil to further work its magic. When you rinse, do so with cold water. The cold water will close your pores, sealing them so dirt can’t get back in. Dry with a paper towel. Clean, sterile surfaces must always touch your face so you don’t put dirt back in the pores you just cleaned. Also take note that you will only scrub your face once, maybe twice a week. Any more and you will damage healthy skin. You can wash your face between that time (soap it, don’t scrub it), as long as it is with natural, chemical-free soap. Moisturize with something chemical-free. I use straight coconut oil.
NOTES:This isn’t just a face scrub. It’s a life change. If you truly want naturally clean skin, you must keep chemicals off your skin FOREVER. Where do chemicals come from? Shampoo, conditioner, lotion, makeup, soap – basically anything you buy from a store. You didn’t make the product yourself, so you can’t know what’s in it. Some of the chemicals used in our daily beauty products are toxic. Don’t believe me? Take your shampoo and facewash. Google all the ingredients on each of them. You will find chemicals in both that are known to cause acne and cancer. Your makeup, too. My facewash will do you no good if you then apply chemicals to your skin. Ever read on your beauty products that say "for external use only"? A good mantra to herald this life-change by is: If you can’t put it IN your body, why would you trust it to go ON your body?
NOTES:This isn’t just a face scrub. It’s a life change. If you truly want naturally clean skin, you must keep chemicals off your skin FOREVER. Where do chemicals come from? Shampoo, conditioner, lotion, makeup, soap – basically anything you buy from a store. You didn’t make the product yourself, so you can’t know what’s in it. Some of the chemicals used in our daily beauty products are toxic. Don’t believe me? Take your shampoo and facewash. Google all the ingredients on each of them. You will find chemicals in both that are known to cause acne and cancer. Your makeup, too. My facewash will do you no good if you then apply chemicals to your skin. Ever read on your beauty products that say "for external use only"? A good mantra to herald this life-change by is: If you can’t put it IN your body, why would you trust it to go ON your body?
