Alexis Marie Chute's Blog, page 8
July 10, 2017
Why Expecting Sunshine Supporters Rock!
Why Expecting Sunshine Supporters Rock!
Crowdfunding is a magical process where people come together to make something beautiful. There are so many people I am thankful for along this journey of both publishing Expecting Sunshine memoir and also producing Expecting Sunshine documentary.
This is a topic that matters. Children matter. Families matter. Mothers and fathers matter.
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5 Reasons Expecting Sunshine Doc Supporters ROCK:
They see the value of sharing meaningful stories
They back what they believe in
They are not apathetic to helping others
They show up at the right time
They make a real difference
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Fundraising can be challenging. I am incredibly grateful to all the people who have given to help us finish this film. I would like to acknowledge these people publicly, showing my huge appreciation.
Here are our most recent supporters:
(in the order they were received)
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Thank you Lauren Dary for donating $10!
Thank you Steve Ricketts for donating $100!
Thank you John Drumgoole Jr. for donating $50!
Thank you Anna Gatmon for donating $25!
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To contribute to Expecting Sunshine’s documentary crowdfunding campaign on IndieGoGo, please click here.
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5 Reasons to Support Expecting Sunshine Doc:
The film breaks the taboo around a very common type of loss
It will help the bereaved feel less alone
It educates about how to support parents after loss
It encourages healthy grief (a part of “The Healthy Grief Movement” )
We can remember and celebrate the children that made a huge impact on the world despite their short lives
Thank you for reading!
With gratitude,
Alexis Marie Chute
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The post Why Expecting Sunshine Supporters Rock! appeared first on Expecting Sunshine.
June 29, 2017
Awesome Book Tour & Film Fundraising Update
Book Tour and Film Fundraising Update
Every step of this journey of writing and publishing Expecting Sunshine memoir, and filming and editing Expecting Sunshine documentary, has taught me so much! I feel incredibly grateful for all the amazing people I have met. I honor their unique stories. I celebrate their bravery to open up and be vulnerable with what they have experienced.
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Author of Expecting Sunshine, Alexis Marie Chute.
BOOK TOUR STOP: BOSTON!
Just today I was at Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston. Sometimes I get nervous going into hospitals – especially the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, which was where I was today. As a bereaved mom, I am very aware of the “triggers.” Triggers are things that make the pain of your loss flare up to the surface. I was relieved to find the NICU a bright place with an incredible energy. The staff were friendly and there was a good crowd that filled the conference room. Those that attended were doctors, nurses and social workers.
What did trigger my emotions while at Brigham and Women’s Hospital was my own PowerPoint! Since I knew my audience would not be startled by some of the pictures of Zachary that are more challenging to look at, I decided I would pull them out of the vault, so to speak, and let them see the light of day (or at least the dim light of the conference room). Most of these photos I myself have not looked at since last October when we celebrate Zach’s birthday. Though I told myself I would not cry, I did grow emotional. It was a safe place and many of the medical pros shared their own personal stories with me.
That is the power of storytelling to bring people together and open the door for healing conversations.
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It was cool seeing this teaching baby at Brigham and Women’s Hospital. It made me think about how we are trained to tend to physical pain but not emotional trauma. I am not a doctor, but I do know how to put on a band-aid if my daughter scrapes her knee, for example. Yet, after my loss, I was not prepared to care for myself. My wounds were internal, hidden and often taboo. This training doll reminds me that learning any kind of care – whether for self or for others – takes intentional attention and thoughtfulness. I hope we as a culture move in this direction.
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Author Alexis Marie Chute at Brigham and Women’s Hospital in the NICU.
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DOCUMENTARY FUNDRAISING
On the note of powerful storytelling: Expecting Sunshine documentary is an amazing film! I can say that because I have seen it! We are about 80% of the way through the editing process – and oh boy, what a process it is! Still, the film is taking shape. My crew and I have teamed up with an amazing editor, Adam Kidd, who has experience and vision with documentary films. This July, Adam and I will be locked in the editing studio finishing up Expecting Sunshine.
While we have worked hard to make our first fundraising campaign stretch as far as it can go, we are in the final homestretch and need to finish strong. That takes dollars. I have to say here: I really hate asking for money. It’s awkward and uncomfortable. BUT! I care so much about this film and believe in the difference I know it will make for families all around the world. Therefore, please consider donating. My volunteer crew and I would really, deeply and truly appreciate your support.
I want to take this moment to thank the awesome folks who have already contributed:
(in the order they were received)
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Thank you Jessica Fillmore for donating $100!
Thank you Antoinette Truglio Martin for donating $15!
Thank you Emily Cohen for donating $50!
Thank you Marie Fritch for donating $30!
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To contribute to Expecting Sunshine’s documentary crowdfunding campaign on IndieGoGo, please click here.
Thank you for reading!
With gratitude,
Alexis Marie Chute
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The post Awesome Book Tour & Film Fundraising Update appeared first on Expecting Sunshine.
June 28, 2017
Expecting Sunshine Book Tour: Boston Bound!
Expecting Sunshine Book Tour: Boston Bound!
The Expecting Sunshine book tour has been a whirlwind! I LOVE meeting new people and collecting memories and stories. Truly, I have been blown away by the response to the book, which really shows me how much love there is out in the world. When I say that I mean that there are so many parents that love their children even when separated by death. The love is ever-present and palpable. This reminds me of my own enduring love for Zachary. It grounds me in the reason I wrote the book in the first place. I dedicate it to my son, whom I carry in my heart and continue to parent in a most unconventional way. These things sound abstract and woo-woo, but we all make peace with life, and its counterpart death, in our own unique ways. That is another thing I observed while on my travels. No two people do grief the same way, which is a beautiful reason we can learn from each other. If you’re feeling stuck, ask someone else how they cope and you’ll likely discover a whole new toolkit for mourning and healing.
I’m in a writing mood – can you tell?
Getting back on track:
Toronto was amazing and Boston is up next!
I am super excited to head back to my old stomping ground, where I did my schooling to get my Masters of Fine Art in Creative Writing from Lesley University in Cambridge, MA! I have a host of events around Boston and Cambridge – including speaking at Lesley – and am giddy to connect with the amazing literary community in Massachusetts! Not to mention my awesome friends from school.
To see my full Boston book tour itinerary, please check-out the Expecting Sunshine EVENTS. Click here.
In particular, I want to share the open invite to my book launch party at Porter Square Books in Cambridge!
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Click on this invite, save and share! Thank you for helping spread the word!!
Event date:
Friday, June 30, 2017 – 7:00pm
Event address:
Porter Square Books
25 White St.
Cambridge, MA 02140
I shopped at Porter Square Books when I was studying for my MFA – so this is going to be a very special stop for me on the book tour. I remember watching other authors read from their books there, surrounded by shelves of printed pages and the beautiful literary community from the area, and thinking WOW. It is going to be surreal to do it myself.
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Porter Square Books, Cambridge, MA, USA
I hope to connect with you at the bookstore!
If you can’t make it, Porter Square Books does something very cool:
Signed Copies AvailableCan’t make it to an event? We’re always happy to set a signed copy aside for you or put one in the mail.
Just add the book to your cart, and in the comments section, let us know that you want a signed copy, and tell us if you’d like the author to personalize the inscription. (If you want it personalized, be sure to place your order at least 24 hours before the event.)
When you check out, pay with either credit card or PayPal to secure your signed copy.
You can take advantage of this by ordering from the bookstore here on my event page: http://www.portersquarebooks.com/event/alexis-chute-expecting-sunshine
The post Expecting Sunshine Book Tour: Boston Bound! appeared first on Expecting Sunshine.
June 26, 2017
Film Crowdfunding FINAL PUSH
Expecting Sunshine Documentary Crowdfunding Final Push
I am incredibly grateful to everyone who donated to the Expecting Sunshine crowdfunding campaign back in December 2015. At that time we raised $20,000 of our $25,000 budget. My team and I have been responsible and frugal with those funds, while still making the best film we can. My goal is always to create art that is distinguished in quality, content and innovation. This project fulfills that mandate.
At the same time, I now recognize how realistic my initial budget was. We have just launched another FINAL PUSH crowdfunding campaign to raise the final $5,000 needed to complete the film.
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Expecting Sunshine is starting a movement toward healthy expressions of grief, community support, and cultural awareness. This project will make a difference in the lives of countless mothers, fathers, and families. The film has raised $20K on IndieGoGo and this is the FINAL PUSH. These funds are critical to conclude the editing and post production. Help us finish strong! Thank you!
“It will make a lot of mamas feel permission to grieve and to talk about their losses.”
– Leanne Brooks, Bereaved mom to Eli, early viewer of Expecting Sunshine
Exposing the journey of grief, healing and pregnancy after loss, Expecting Sunshine is a creative and touching film, documenting an actual pregnancy, and sharing real stories of bereaved mothers and fathers, researchers, advocates and medical professionals.
The funds for this FINAL PUSH go directly toward editing and post production. We are working with the talented and visionary editor, Adam Kidd of Limbo Editing services, winner of “Best Editor Non-Fiction over 30 Min” at the 2009 Ampia Awards.
About the Project:
Expecting Sunshine the Documentary tells the story of over twenty mothers and fathers, and families, framed within the intimately-exposed experience of writer and artist Alexis Marie Chute. Alexis Marie sets out to rediscover her identity as a mother – and as a woman – after one of the most primal types of loss; that of her newborn at birth. The documentary takes place within the forty-weeks of Chute’s pregnancy after loss. Through artistic visuals, profound interviews, “luminous prose and with such clear-eyed insight,” Alexis Marie reveals the turbulent 40-week experience of having a baby after losing a baby. Expecting Sunshine “makes death a starting point for the continuation of life.”
What We Need & What You Get:
We are crowdfunding for the final $5,000 Canadian needed to finish the editing and post-production work on Expecting Sunshine documentary. That’s only $3782.50 American!
Please see our lovely pie chart for the break-down of our overall crowdfunding budget.
With every contribution, it is not only a financial gift to bring the vision into being, but it is also a public statement that this topic matters; that it needs to be talked about and that there is strength in community! Thank you for your support!
OUR PERKS:
We want to honor our contributors and their unique needs through the types of perks we offer. We have created ways to celebrate children no longer with us, and the ‘Rainbow Babies’ that came after them. The perks also range from limited edition signed books and bookmarks to a VIP evening at the film premier.
In the end, though, we realize that contributing to the success of a truly meaningful project is the greatest reward. Thank you for making this film possible!
STATS:
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Approximately one in every five pregnancies end in miscarriage.
World-wide, there are about 3.3 million stillbirths per year.
“About one in every 160 pregnancies in the U.S. ends in a stillbirth, which adds up to about 26,000 each year nationwide,” according to an article in Scientific American.
The loss of a child after 28 weeks of pregnancy, or during the first week after birth, occurs with a 0.6% frequency according to Statistics Canada, which accounts for almost 2,500 deaths per year.
“SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) is the leading cause of death among babies between 1 month and 1 year of age,” equalling approximately 2,000 deaths in the United States every year according to the National Vital Statistics Report.
What do these statistics mean in practical language? They equal a huge number of people that are affected by miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS and other types of losses of children – every year, around the world.
Alexis Marie Chute and her film crew for Expecting Sunshine believe that family is everything. Children are incredibly important, and their deaths leave a profound gap in the hearts and lives of not only their parents, but their extended families and communities.
We believe in celebrating each child’s life, however brief, and honoring the individual experience of grief.
What many do not realize is that pregnancy after loss is an incredibly difficult time. Some believe it is a natural state of moving on or a helpful distraction to conceive after loss. On the contrary, it often brings to the surface many unaddressed issues, relational strains and fears.
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MORE ABOUT THE FILM:
Expecting Sunshine the Documentary chronicles Alexis Marie Chute’s experience of surviving pregnancy following loss, and navigating the delicate balance of anticipation and anxiety.
As an artist and writer, the perspective Alexis Marie brings to this project is a surreal and intimate one. She invites viewers into her creative perceptions of grief and healing, presenting her darkest days and also her moments of hard-earned resiliency and triumph. Any parent and anyone who has lost a person they love will connect with her reflections and be inspired by her stubborn determination to find the sunshine and the hope in times of personal trials.
Why this project is meaningful and needs your support:
In 2010, Alexis Marie Chute’s son Zachary died at birth. He had a random genetic condition and a large tumor around his heart. Doctors predicted that Zachary would be stillborn, but he was born alive. He never made a sound or opened his eyes. Alexis Marie and her husband Aaron rocked and sang to Zachary. They only had a moment with their son before he died – and that was the moment that changed their lives forever.
When Alexis Marie got pregnant again with her next child, at first she was thrilled. Soon, though, that excitement turned into worry and a debilitating fear for her next baby. In those forty weeks that followed, she realized she needed to address her grief for Zachary, which she had buried, before the birth of the child that followed. That is when Expecting Sunshine the Memoir was born; it became a creative narrative of survival. The book was released April 2017 and has already garnered powerful reviews and four distinguished awards. Expecting Sunshine the Documentary is the visual and literary manifestation of the book.
The topic of Expecting Sunshine the Documentary is often taboo and uncomfortable for people who have not experienced this type of loss – which is exactly why there is a need for this film. Many do not know what to say or how to empathize with the bereaved parents, despite wishing to help. What that means is that families can feel isolated and suffer in silence – especially when they struggle with subsequent pregnancies.
This film will encourage discussion, community, and healing for a huge number of people. It will start a dialogue. It will shed light on a secret pain. It will be an education on healthy (and not-so-healthy) approaches to grief and healing. It will also show how creativity can be a balm to the wounded spirit. In this way, Expecting Sunshine will speak to viewers on many levels.
Other Ways You Can Help:
Please help us spread the word about Expecting Sunshine the Documentary! You can do this by telling your family, friends and colleagues about the project and telling them about our Indiegogo fundraising campaign. Join in and be a part of the buzz! We appreciate every email, phone call, tweet, and post made on our behalf. Thank you in advance!
Share our website: www.ExpectingSunshine.com
Like us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/expectingsunshine
Follow us on Twitter: https://twitter.com/expectsunbook
Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/AlexisMarieChute
Learn more about life (and pregnancy) after the loss of a child on Wanted, Chosen, Planned: http://www.wantedchosenplanned.com/
The post Film Crowdfunding FINAL PUSH appeared first on Expecting Sunshine.
June 21, 2017
Expecting Sunshine Book Tour: Toronto Bound!
Expecting Sunshine Book Tour: Toronto Bound!
The Expecting Sunshine book tour is in full swing! Just a few weeks ago I was sleeping on the floor of the Toronto airport on a layover after a red-eye flight from New York City. Boy did I learn my lesson about overnight flights! Needless to say, I will be flying to Toronto at a reasonable hour this time!
I’ve got lots of exciting events coming up for my Toronto leg! Click here to see them all on my event calendar.
In particular, I want to share more about my book launch party at Ben McNally Books! Here’s the invite. You can click on the image to save and share it.
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Click on the graphic, save and share. Thank you for helping spread the word!
Here’s a little info about my Book Talk at the bookstore:
SATURDAY, JUNE 24, 2017
366 BAY ST, TORONTO
2:00-4:00 PM
Join Alexis Marie Chute as she launches her memoir in Toronto! It’s book party time! Everyone is welcome at Ben McNally Books on Bay Street in Toronto, Alberta – kids too! Alexis Marie will present a reading from her book, share her story, tell a few dumb jokes, and welcome questions from the peanut gallery. Please join Alexis Marie and share this invite. Let’s pack the bookstore like never before! Oh, and bring or buy a copy of Expecting Sunshine to get signed by the author.
Here is a little bit about Ben McNally Books:
Always wanted a beautiful, personable bookstore you could call home?
We are on the same page.
– Ben McNally Books
“When I get a little money, I buy books; if any is left, I buy food and clothes.”
-Desiderius Erasmus
366 Bay Street
Toronto, ON M5H 4B2
Tel. 416-361-0032
info@benmcnallybooks.com
Hours:
Mon-Fri 9-6
Saturday (except long weekends) 11-5
Closed on Sunday
Our aim is to reflect the wide-ranging and sophisticated tastes of the clientele we have attracted over the years, so we have to be nimble, flexible, and open to new ideas.
Our inventory is always changing, and it is our profound hope that you will find books here that you won’t find elsewhere. On the internet you can find what you’re looking for; in our store you can find what you are not looking for.
On the internet you can find what you’re looking for; in our store you can find what you are not looking for.
We take requests for assistance very seriously; we all read constantly and our recommendations are chosen with an eye to creating a long term relationship with you as a customer.
We do a lot of special orders, and maintain contacts in the US and the UK that allow us to source books that are not readily available in this country.
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Ben McNally Books Toronto
See you at the bookstore!
The post Expecting Sunshine Book Tour: Toronto Bound! appeared first on Expecting Sunshine.
June 18, 2017
Happy Father’s Day from Expecting Sunshine
A Few Thoughts on Father’s Day
Father’s Day can be a challenging time for bereaved dads. It is a time when fatherhood, children, and family become the center of attention. If you have lost a child and are grieving, Father’s Day can be a painful trigger, especially if you do not have a living child.
TO ALL THE BEREAVED DADS:
There is no magic advice to make everything better. While it may sound cliche, the best way to find healing on your grief journey is by plowing head-first through it. Surround yourself with loved ones, people who “get it.” Practice self-care. Do things that bring you joy.
If you are a dad without your child this Father’s Day, please know that you are still a dad. Even though you likely don’t know me, please hear this: I honor your fatherhood and celebrate who you are this Sunday, June 18 – and always (because Father’s Day/Mother’s Day should be every day).
Your baby will always be remembered.
If you are in pain, be patient. It will ease over time. You are brave for getting up every day and living. To laugh is not a betrayal of your sorrow. Be gentle and kind with yourself. Take time this Father’s Day to reflect. Sending you love always.
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Please click on this graphic to save and share. Help honor the father’s in your life!
If you are looking for a gift for a bereaved dad, consider giving a story! Expecting Sunshine is a wonderful present for any man who likes to read.
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Please click on this graphic to save and share. Help honor the fathers in your life!
Order a signed copy of the book!
The post Happy Father’s Day from Expecting Sunshine appeared first on Expecting Sunshine.
June 13, 2017
Expecting Sunshine Book Tour New York Update
Expecting Sunshine in New York City! Book tour update!
New York City was an amazing stop on the Expecting Sunshine book tour! Apart from two evenings off, every day and night were full of award ceremonies, visits to bereavement groups and other cool venues for events. I participated in Book Expo America and BookCon. I spoke at The Baby Resource Center and the Pregnancy Loss Support Program at the National Council for Jewish Women. Expecting Sunshine got decorated with awards from the Next Generation Indie Book Awards and the IndieReader Discovery Awards.
The New York City leg of the book tour was a busy time to say the least!
Here are some pictures from the trip:
Next Generation Indie Book Awards
Expecting Sunshine won first place for Best Cover Non-Fiction and was a finalist in the Parenting and Family Category.
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The Next Generation Indie Book Award ceremony took place at the Harvard Club of New York.
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A full crowd at the Next Generation Indie Book Awards at the Harvard Club of New York City.
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Author of Expecting Sunshine, Alexis Marie Chute, with fellow She Writes Press and Spark Press authors.
IndieReader Discovery Awards
Expecting Sunshine won first place in the Women’s Interest Category.
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Author Alexis Marie Chute at the IndieReader Discovery Awards at BookCon, New York City.
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Expecting Sunshine won in the Women’s Interest category at the IndieReader Discovery Awards.
Book Expo America & BookCon
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Book Expo America and Book Con.
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Author Alexis Marie Chute and publicist Janet Shapiro at Book Expo!
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Author Alexis Marie Chute at Book Expo America.
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Book Expo and BookCon are awesome events where readers, industry folks and authors come together.
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Author Alexis Marie Chute at the She Writes Press Booth at Book Expo America.
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Book Expo America
The Baby Resource Center
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The Baby Resource Center in Brooklyn, New York.
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Author Alexis Marie Chute signing copies of Expecting Sunshine memoir.
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Author Alexis Marie Chute signing copies of Expecting Sunshine memoir.
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Author Alexis Marie Chute signing copies of Expecting Sunshine memoir.
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This is Brooke Smith, president of The Baby Resource Center.
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Painted bookmarks made by artist & author Alexis Marie Chute, symbolizing that we are all connected, pieces of a greater whole.
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Author Alexis Marie Chute with attendees of The Baby Resource Center.
Pregnancy Loss Support Program
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Pregnancy Loss Support Program, held at the National Council for Jewish Women.
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The painted bookmarks, made from one large painting cut into over 300 pieces, given as a symbolic gesture that we are all connected and can support each other.
“How Art Unites Us” at Caravan Stylist Studio
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Caravan Stylist Studio is located in The Gregory Hotel.
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Book party!
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Book party at Caravan Stylist Studio.
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Celebrating Expecting Sunshine memoir!
Thank you for reading the Expecting Sunshine updates!
With love,
Alexis Marie Chute
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The post Expecting Sunshine Book Tour New York Update appeared first on Expecting Sunshine.
May 29, 2017
Expecting Sunshine NYC Book Tour & Review
Expecting Sunshine NYC Book Tour & More Reviews
Wow, I had no idea what a whirlwind the Expecting Sunshine book tour would be! I want to thank all the place’s I’ve visited and the people I’ve met. It truly has been a pleasure.
Next stop:
New York City!
Itinerary:
Wednesday, May 31, 2017
Next Generation Indie Book Awards
Expecting Sunshine won:
-Best Cover Non-Fiction
-Finalist Parenting/Family Category
Thursday, June 1, 2017
Special Event at Caravan Stylist Studio
5:00 – 7:00 PM
I will be talking about the power of art to unite communities and transform our lives.
Thursday & Friday, June 1&2, 2017
BookExpo America
You can have a look-see at Expecting Sunshine at the She Writes Press booth AND the Smith Publicity booth. I will also be there, on and off, so I hope to meet you!
Friday, June 2, 2017
The Baby Resource Center
I will be talking about my experience of loss and my book, Expecting Sunshine, with their baby loss support program.
Saturday & Sunday, June 3&4, 2017
BookCon
On Saturday, June 3, Expecting Sunshine will receive another award, but this is hush hush for now…
You can have a look-see at Expecting Sunshine at the Smith Publicity booth. I will also be there, on and off, so I hope to meet you!
Monday, June 5, 2017
Pregnancy Loss Support Program, National Council of Jewish Women
I will be talking about my experience of loss and my book, Expecting Sunshine, with their baby loss support program.
CLICK HERE FOR MORE STOPS ON THE BOOK TOUR.
I am so grateful for the opportunities to connect with people and share my story.
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New Book Review!
Mom Egg Review is a print literary journal and online magazine (MER VOX) publishing poetry, fiction, creative prose, and art, by mother writers and by others, exploring diverse motherhoods.
EXPECTING SUNSHINE
Review by Eve F.W. Linn
Published on Mom Egg Review on May 23, 2017
Alexis Marie Chute’s memoir, Expecting Sunshine: A Journey of Grief, Healing and Pregnancy AfterLoss, documents with intimate detail and incident her recovery after the loss of a child. Chute’s book offers an authentic new voice and important insights to the literature on pregnancy loss and parental bereavement. The conspiracy of silence that surrounds this universal issue only increases the pain of those dealing with a tragedy and perpetuates the stigma that prevents open discussion about this painful subject.
Chute is an award-winning artist, writer and filmmaker. She received her Bachelor of Fine Arts in Art and Design from the University of Alberta and her Masters of Fine Arts from Lesley University in Cambridge, Massachusetts. She is a respected advocate for bereaved families and offers workshops on creativity and healing through the arts.
Written in spare yet lyrical language, Expecting Sunshine‘s taut narrative structure is well constructed. Expecting Sunshine is divided into three sections, each divided into weeks that document Chute’s personal transformation as well as the course of her pregnancy. A reader can choose to read the whole book, or small sections as desired.
Description alternates with facts; language signals and reflects different emotional states. Here is Chute’s description of a baby shower she co-hosts. She paints the scene.
One particular balloon was extra large and shaped like a cradle, boasting It’s a Boy! in baby-blue swirls… You will not make a scene, I warned myself, looking away…All I had were minutes with my baby before he died…Zachary’s ashes…were all that was left of my son. (7)
The reader sees the setting, hears the narrator talking to herself, and is confronted with the inescapable contrast between the narrator’s circumstance and that of the new mother with a living child.
The reader does not get the complete story of Zachary’s birth immediately; the slow reveal of information is very effective in holding the reader’s interest. Chute and her husband Aaron are attending a support group, Mourning Together, which triggers Chute’s rage, pain, frustration at the failed promise of faith. In a duet of shared memories, the couple describes the birth and their son’s short life:
And Zachary didn’t die in the birth canal like the doctors predicted. He moved a little in my arms.”…As always I ached for my baby as for a ghost limb… “Zachary didn’t cry,” Aaron reminisced. He did not open his eyes––but I peeked. They were blue. (22)
Readers want guidance, hope, and most of all a promise that their pain will end. Chute does not provide answers to those suffering through this most primal of losses. Her most valuable gift is her own example. Nowhere does this author make the reader feel less than a partner in this process. Chute has the rare ability to make each reader feel included. The tension and uncertainty that animates the first two thirds of the book showcases Chute’s powerful writing. In the last section, events move towards resolution with the delivery of a second son.
Midway through Expecting Sunshine is one of the most memorable sections in the book, “Horse with Blue Eyes.” Chute is driving along back roads when she feels impelled to stop. “I couldn’t remember the last time I felt such unguarded anticipation––not since early in my pregnancy with Zachary, at least. The thought made me shudder” (89). Here is the reality of a pregnancy after the death of a child, the dogged pull of anxiety fighting against possibility, the the months of repression: “I ate my pain…and it lived inside…my pregnancy was supposed to blanket all other states of the heart, if not suffocating them…at least concealing them for the sake of propriety” (77). In a moment of mystical communion with a horse with blue eyes, Chute finds her truth, her own voice speaking to her: “You have lost your child, but you are not lost” (91). The reality of loss is not the only reality. It is only by progressing through the season of unreality where nothing makes sense)— “Was not my body consecrated for death? My genetic helix a distorted and unsteady ladder?” (35)—that healing becomes possible.
Chute courageously reveals her darkest thoughts about a dark fact: pregnancy loss, a reality, which impacts one in four women, their partners and extended families. Readers are left to imagine Zachary. He is every baby, every child who is lost to an untimely and inexplicable death. The artifacts of his life are few, his remains weigh just ounces, but his impact and influence in the lives of his family and the readers of Expecting Sunshine is far-reaching.
Expecting Sunshine: A Journey of Grief, Healing, and Pregnancy After Loss
by Alexis Marie Chute
She Writes Press, April 2017, $16.95 [paper] ISBN 9781631521744 203pp.
Eve F.W. Linn is an artist and poet who lives near Boston with her family. She received her B.A. cum laude in Studio Art from Smith College and her M.F.A. in poetry from Lesley University.
(A huge thanks to Eve Linn for reading Expecting Sunshine and writing such a thoughtful review.)
The post Expecting Sunshine NYC Book Tour & Review appeared first on Expecting Sunshine.
May 18, 2017
Goodreads Giveaway Ends Tomorrow!
Enter the Expecting Sunshine Goodreads Giveaway by May 19
Goodreads is an amazing social network for readers. You can create virtual bookshelves of the books you want to read, are reading and have already finished.
Be sure to add Expecting Sunshine as “want to read” on Goodreads! And please leave a review : )
Also, ending May 19, you could win one of four copies of Expecting Sunshine: A Journey of Grief, Healing and Pregnancy After Loss!
Enter the giveaway today! Click here.
About the Book:
Expecting Sunshine: A Journey of Grief, Healing and Pregnancy After Loss
After her son, Zachary, dies in her arms at birth, visual artist and author Alexis Marie Chute disappears into her “Year of Distraction.” She cannot paint or write or tap into the heart of who she used to be, mourning not only for Zachary, but also for the future they might have had together. It is only when Chute learns she is pregnant again that she sets out to find healing and rediscover her identity―just in time, she hopes, to welcome her next child.
In the forty weeks of her pregnancy, Chute grapples with her strained marriage, shaken faith, and medical diagnosis, with profound results. Glowing with riveting and gorgeous prose, Expecting Sunshine chronicles the anticipation and anxiety of expecting a baby while still grieving for the child that came before―enveloping readers with insightful observations on grief and healing, life and death, and the incredible power of a mother’s love.
Read about Expecting Sunshine on Goodreads
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May 14, 2017
Happy Mother’s Day from Expecting Sunshine
Happy Mother’s Day from Expecting Sunshine!
Mother’s Day is an opportunity to celebrate family. Thankfully the notion of family being “a man and a woman and their 2.5 children” is no longer the golden standard. I know a lot of people who have defined their family in their own unique ways.
Today…
I honour mothers with living children.
I honour mothers who have lost a child and have other living children.
I honour mothers with no living children, yet they are mothers none the less.
I honour daughters of mothers.
I honour daughters who are missing their mothers that have passed.
I honour all the women who care for others in a motherly way.
I honour all expecting mothers.
I honour all step-mothers.
I honour aunties and grandmothers.
I honour the generation of women within a family.
I honour the women that were unable to or chose not to have children but still care for their families.
I honour all the little girls who will grow up to be mothers.
I honour single mothers – who also deserve a “Happy Father’s Day.”
I honour single fathers – who also deserve a “Happy Mother’s Day.”
I honour all the same sex couples for whom Mother’s Day may not address.
Family is complicated. Family can be messy. At the same time, family is amazing and inspiring. For me, family is my happy place.
Sending love and joy to you and your family, today and always!
Alexis Marie Chute
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** If I failed to list a type of mother above, please let me know. I would love to grow this list.
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