Becky Eldredge's Blog, page 23

Drawn to Ignatius: Finding My Feet

During our first Into the Deep blog series “Drawn to Ignatius” members of our writing team will tell us the ways Ignatian Spirituality has informed their lives, prayers, and their desire to go into the deep. Today Gretchen Crowder shares with us some of the things she has learned from St. Ignatius. 

All of my boys walked at fifteen months.

I think the parenting books say it’s supposed to happen around a year, and as a new mom, I know I spent some energy worrying about why they were taking their sweet time with this milestone. Looking back, however, I see the truth… they just were not ready yet. It eventually happened though. One day, without really understanding what changed in each of them, they finally raised themselves up and put one foot in front of the other until they seemed to catch air and fly. Though they continue to stumble along the way, they have not stopped moving since.

If we really think about it, we probably have many moments like these in our own lives where something just finally clicks and our feet and our hearts suddenly know what to do. For me, finding Ignatius was one of these moments.

I was introduced to Ignatius and Ignatian Spirituality fourteen years ago this August sitting at my first New Teacher orientation at a Jesuit school. I was in my late twenties, and I was still desperately searching for something I could not quite name. We were invited to read a series of essays by the late Gerald Fagin, S.J. called A Dream Confirmed. In it, Fagin outlined some of the things I still find most inspiring about Ignatius. His words were the first glimpse for me into this person, this saint that had, like me, struggled to stand in the reality of who God was calling him to be. I was finally able to connect with someone who also constantly revised and edited their life with a true, genuine desire to grow deeper in their relationship with God. Ignatius’ winding journey to discover who he was in God gave me hope for my own.

Since that first year, I have come to know Ignatius more in the day to day work of being a Campus Minister in a Jesuit school. And every year that I study and learn and write more about Ignatius, my knowledge of who God is and what God wants from me deepens. A year ago, I wrote an article on what Ignatius taught me, and it is amazing to me that this year I have even more lessons to share. In the course of crazy 2020, Ignatius has opened my eyes to even more truth. Most recently, Ignatius has taught me that:

My life and your life can be a prayer. The last five months I have been a full-time working mom at home with three rambunctious young boys who also needed to learn. I have a lot of trouble even formulating a thought these days let alone a prayer. Ignatius, however, recognized that the daily, active life is a huge part of our prayer and conversation with God, and he gave us tools like the Examen to start the conversation no matter where we are standing. The prayer, the offering, is right there in the messiness of it all.
We are loved deeply no matter what. I, perhaps like many of you, have felt a little lost during this time at home far away from normal and at arm’s length from human contact. Watching our world struggle outside my doors has brought to the surface big questions for me including “Gretchen, is this who you want to be?” Ignatius, however, reminds me constantly through the beautiful words of his First Principle and Foundation that when we are lost or uncertain or not yet the person we want to be – we are still unconditionally loved. Even when we sin, even we mess up, even we fall – we are loved.
It is never too late to start again. Like my boys learning to walk, I know I have stumbled quite a bit in the last five months. Ignatius, however, helped me get back up and try again. There is a story I love about Ignatius as an adult sitting in a classroom with young kids. In order to become the person he felt called to be, he had to go back and learn the basics alongside children. Over and over again, Ignatius had to learn how to put one foot in front of the other so that he could fly. And we can do that too.

I feel blessed by this opportunity to share this space with other women who have been so inspired by the life of Ignatius. I hope that as you join us each week, you find some truth to hold onto. I pray that something we share with you helps you find your legs, helps you put one foot in front of the other so that you can learn to fly.

 

Go Deeper?

You can read more about Gretchen’s experience with the First Principle and Foundation here.

 

 

 

Photo by Jelleke Vanooteghem on unsplash.

Drawn to Ignatius: Two Pilgrims

During our first Into the Deep blog series “Drawn to Ignatius” members of our writing team will tell us the ways Ignatian Spirituality has informed their lives, prayers, and their desire to go into the deep. Today Melinda LeBlanc shares how her life has been like a pilgrim’s journey.

How many people do you know who refer to themselves as a pilgrim? St. Ignatius often referred to himself, not by name, but as “The Pilgrim”. He viewed his life as an ever evolving journey towards God, always led by God’s gentle hand. As I enter the “Medicare years”, I find myself relating more with this aspect of Ignatian Spirituality.

There are several characteristics of a pilgrim’s journey which are common to St. Ignatius and me:

A pilgrim’s journey begins with an invitation to grow.

St. Ignatius and I both had quite dramatic invitations from God to begin our spiritual journeys. Well, maybe mine wasn’t quite as dramatic as getting shot with a cannonball as in St. Ignatius’ case, but for me it was huge nonetheless. The cannonball incident changed the life of the saint and his recuperation time was spent focusing on God. My cannonball moment came from a time of deep desolation. One day as I was walking, feeling completely hopeless, a thought came to me: I’m here. Don’t despair. At that instant I knew it was God. From then on, nothing was the same. I began to feel hopeful in God’s presence. The next day a friend mentioned an Ignatian retreat I might like. I had never made one before and was leery, but I signed up. That retreat took God’s invitation even further by opening me to experience God’s love. I learned to pray and find God in the silence. All this because God invited me closer.

Have you experienced something that you were certain was from God? How did you respond?

A pilgrim’s journey is purposeful.

After his initial conversion, St. Ignatius continued to pray, read, and live what he knew was of God. After my initial invitation, I started to see a spiritual director to help me grow in my relationship with God. I grew to see God in all things, to discern what was of God in my life and what wasn’t, and to recognize what things/relationships I had an unhealthy attachment to. I see this time as walking hand in hand with God and letting God teach me new ways of being. I became active in ministry as a Eucharistic minister, got involved in RCIA, in small faith sharing groups and took classes sponsored by my diocese. During this time God was leading me in a dance of grace and deeper faith.

How are you nourishing God’s invitation to grow closer?

A pilgrim’s path is not always clear, and may include tears, joys, losses, victories.

There were many ups and downs in St. Ignatius’ life. He had moments of closeness to God which brought him to tears. He had moments of rejection. He wanted to minister in the Holy Land, but God had other plans. All the while, St. Ignatius stayed focused on God. My journey also included good and bad times. Often, it seemed God sent me just the right person to talk to, or gave me the exact grace I needed. Like St. Ignatius, I struggled with scrupulosity (confessing the same sins repeatedly because I didn’t think God had forgiven me the first time I confessed them). I had dry times in prayer and other obstacles which made me doubt God’s presence with me. I now know that all these times were God’s way of teaching me to trust and see God in all things.

What have been the ups and downs of your journey?

A pilgrim’s journey continues along a path that never ends.

Through God’s grace, St. Ignatius continued his life’s pilgrimage to eventually become a contemplative in action. St. Ignatius never stopped growing in love and knowledge of God. In my life, I continue to see God moving me. God is constantly putting people in my life to challenge and encourage me. Like the time I literally bumped into someone in the sacristy before mass and we ended up married two years later. Or the way, when I was close to retirement and was wondering what to do with my time, God introduced me to someone in a spiritual direction internship who suggested I should look into becoming a spiritual director. I did, and for the past 8 years have been accompanying people on their own faith journeys, which is a true joy for me. Even my hobbies have led me further in service to God. My love of cooking came in handy when I worked as a campus minister at LSU and had to help prepare lunch to over 400 hungry students each week. Being an introvert, I have always enjoyed writing more than talking. I am excited to be writing more and having what I write posted in blogs on the internet. Also, my husband and I have recently discovered birdwatching, which gives us a chance to enjoy the outdoors together.

Two of St. Ignatius’ great gifts to us are the Spiritual Exercises and the Jesuit order of priests. Both of these came from following God along a lifelong journey of faith, growth, response, trust, perseverance and love. I can’t wait to see where God will lead me next on this great life pilgrimage!

Where do you feel God is calling you on your life journey?

Go Deeper?

If you would like to learn more about the life of St. Ignatius you can purchase his autobiography here.

 

 

 

Photo by Matt Howard on unsplash. 

Drawn to Ignatius: Deepening God’s Life in Me

During our first Into the Deep blog series “Drawn to Ignatius” members of our writing team will tell us the ways Ignatian Spirituality has informed their lives, prayers, and their desire to go into the deep. Today Jenene Francis shares with us the many different ways she has lived Ignatian Spirituality throughout her life. 

 

Growing up in a Denver parish of lay people, Jesuits, and Vincentians intent on living the Gospel, “The 10:30 Catholic Community” was born in the turbulent, idealistic 1970’s. We boycotted grapes in solidarity with United Farm Workers. We picketed the perceived lavish lifestyle of our Archbishop residing in a high rise condominium a block from my grade school. My sister made her first communion in a city park. Our youth group went rappelling, reflecting on our experience of fear and trust in God around a campfire. I was confirmed by the Archbishop in a church shared with Capitol Heights Presbyterian. Our primary source of formation was the St. Louis Jesuits’ as yet unpublished music, singing along with guitars and tambourines. Lyrics were written with grease pencil on acetate sheets, projected onto bare sanctuary walls.

It’s no wonder that 20 years later, in the middle of my lay ministry master’s program at the Athenaeum of Ohio, I experienced a kind of homecoming when I started attending Bellarmine Chapel, a parish on the campus of Xavier University entrusted to the Jesuits by the Archdiocese of Cincinnati. There I came to know academics, accountants, artists, attorneys, doctors, engineers, ministers, nurses, politicians, priests, scientists, teachers, and women religious, people young and old who celebrate the Eucharist with joy and gratitude, exchange warm greetings on the way home with fair trade and Cincinnati Streetvibes vendors, inspired by rich homilies to offer lives of generous service with love.

Anticipating the new millennium, Bellarmine embarked on a communal experience of the Spiritual Exercises. I was busy traveling the world for Procter & Gamble and did not make the Exercises then, but each household received a print of Falling in Love. I framed this prayer attributed to Pedro Arrupe, S.J., placing it in my kitchen where I could see it while washing dishes or waiting for the microwave to ding. Those moments of contemplation in every day life began to decide more things.

The next year a fellow parishioner invited me to help with Charis Ministries’ retreats for those in their 20s and 30s. As I began to shape and lead retreats for others, I was taken deeper into the spirituality of St. Ignatius, making connections to the formation sung into my heart as a child. I found insights praying with imagination. I rummaged through experiences with gratitude, noticing moments of encountering Love, times when I was able to offer that love to others, even and especially to those who fall prey to evil operating under the guise of good, and to recognize I was loved even when I fell short, returning everything to God at the end of the day.

I said goodbye to P&G and Bellarmine in 2003, moving to Chicago to serve as Charis’ Managing Director until 2008 when I gave myself a sabbatical, including a 40-day experience of the Spiritual Exercises at Ignatius Jesuit Centre (Guelph, ON). I continue to be profoundly grateful for the many graces received on retreat, among them a freedom from worry about finding another job when I returned, and formation for what Jesus had in mind for me next.

In 2009 I was asked to serve as the Provincial’s Assistant for Pastoral Ministries for the Midwest Jesuits extending his care to Jesuit parishes and retreat ministries in our region and beyond.

Ten years later the Spirit once again began to nudge, initiating discernment conversations with my Provincial and others. July 1st I took a welcome step down a rung of the “corporate ladder” to become his Associate Pastoral Assistant. While continuing with ministry I love, I’m responding to God’s invitation to make room for a different work-life balance, anticipating more time (post-pandemic) for sharing meals and the Lake Michigan view from my own high rise condominium balcony with others, visiting with family and friends in Colorado and around the country, and making music with my multicultural neighborhood parish choir. I also look forward to sharing reflections with you and this community of Ignatian women writers as I pray for the grace of interior freedom to say, yes, and keep choosing “what better leads to deeping God’s life in me.”

Drawn to Ignatius: The Journey Toward Complete Trust

During our first Into the Deep blog series “Drawn to Ignatius” members of our writing team will tell us the ways Ignatian Spirituality has informed their lives, prayers, and their desire to go into the deep. Today Faye Coorpender shares how she has expierenced Ignatian Spirituality through spiritual direction and discernment.

For many years my favorite verse has been “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding; in all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6). When I chose that verse, it was because I hoped that one day I would get to the trusting part.

In the year 2000 I married Bill Coorpender and we moved to Gainesville, Florida. Bill and I were fortunate to find Queen of Peace Catholic Church, a welcoming and happy community. It was there that I was first introduced to spiritual direction. It would be the beginning of my journey in Ignatian Spirituality, although I certainly didn’t know it at the time.

In the first few years of spiritual direction, my director listened as I brought to our monthly sessions my guilt over my failed first marriage and the heartache over some of my past decisions. I know that we also talked about my relationship with God, my prayer life, and my joys and challenges, but what I remember most are the painful family issues that we talked about in that sacred space. I left each meeting with hope that I would find peace. I also left those meetings with renewed purpose, with motivation to dig deeper into my prayer life, and with a desire to trust in God’s plan for me.

I don’t think that my directors would be surprised that I don’t recall any specific advice that they gave. In fact, spiritual direction, as I now know, is not about giving advice, it is about accompanying the individual as God works in her life. My director helps me notice where God is present with me and in me. Consequently, I am better able to know God’s will for me.

In Ignatian spirituality, we call the process of discovering God’s will discernment. I’ve discovered, through on-going spiritual direction, that discernment is not a once-and-done process. I’ve also discovered that it is not easy to become aware of God’s desires for me and that it helps to have a director to accompany me.  

I have welcomed and been blessed by discernment many times. Prayerful discernment was in my call to begin a second career as a teacher and it was in the call to leave teaching. How can that be? How can I discern God’s will to begin a teaching career and then ten years later discern it is no longer my call? My friend, Becky Eldredge, reminds me that this is “Ignatian wisdom” – trusting a well-discerned decision until a new invitation arises.

When I said the first ‘yes’ to God’s call to pursue a teaching career, I knew through prayerful discernment that it was right. How? I felt consolation in that decision; I experienced a sense of peace, joy, and excitement. I trusted that God would help me. But teaching was a challenge! Every year, as contract time rolled around, my spiritual director helped me through the process of discernment. Should I stay or should I leave? Each year after careful discernment I signed the contract for another year.

But four years ago, several months before contract renewal time, I heard God say, “You’re discerning retirement.” My first thought was, “Huh? I didn’t say anything about retiring. That’s not the plan. I’m not vested yet. How will I pay for health insurance?”

Despite the initial shock, I realized that I did indeed want to retire. Teaching was draining me emotionally as well as physically. I was ready for a change. This type of spontaneous discernment, which Ignatius calls “consolation without previous cause,” does not happen often, so I carefully brought it to prayer. Finding that it was a joyful prospect, I retired.

As it happened, I had just completed my internship in Spiritual Direction and once again, God provided. I accepted an offer to serve as a spiritual director for the Congregation of the Sisters of St. Joseph at their Spirituality Center in Baton Rouge. Beginning work immediately, I transitioned to my new vocation where I was mentored by religious women who had practiced their vocation for many decades.

Two years later the Spirituality Center closed, providing yet another opportunity for discernment. I was invited and then welcomed into collaboration with a wonderful group of spiritual directors who do retreat work as well as provide spiritual direction. I’ve stretched outside my comfort zone  as I’ve assisted with planning and giving Ignatian retreats for Women of the Well, parishes, and retreat centers. Saying yes to writing for Into the Deep is another way that I am sharing my vocation and my passion for Ignatian Spirituality. God has been with me in these new ventures just as He was in the past.

I’ve learned that discernment becomes easier as it is practiced. It’s not complicated, but it does require prayer and listening. And it helps to have a good spiritual director to share the journey. Trusting God has given me great joy as I grow in the vocation to which He has called me.

After these last twenty years receiving and offering spiritual direction, I know firsthand what it means to “trust in the Lord.” Ignatian spirituality, especially its discernment wisdom, has been instrumental in bringing me closer to the Lord so that I can trust Him to direct all my decisions.

 

 

 

Photo by Ben White on unsplash. 

 

 

Drawn to Ignatius: Traveling the Unknown Road with St. Ignatius

During our first Into the Deep blog series “Drawn to Ignatius” members of our writing team will tell us the ways Ignatian Spirituality has informed their lives, prayers, and their desire to go into the deep. Today Claudia Maxson shares with us her journey with Ignatian Spirituality.

Have you ever spent your whole life doing something, only to find out much later that there is a name to define it? That’s how I felt for years traveling the unknown road with St. Ignatius. Little did I know how well Ignatian Spirituality described me and my relationship with God.

For as long as I can remember, I found God in all things. When I was a child, rote prayer was something that I did with my classmates or at Mass; never was it my preferred method to communicate with God. God spoke to me more clearly through music – singing, playing the flute, listening. I became aware of the beauty of joy, peace, happiness and even discord, one of the melodic voices of my prayer that soothed my soul.

But there was also a greater force at work within me, the call of nature. As soon as I was permitted, I ventured outdoors. Whether riding my bike or hiking and camping, I found God communicating and engaging with me through the shade trees, the magnificent sugar maples in autumn, a babbling brook, or the dancing sparks of a campfire. God called me to respond to the magnificent gift of creation, teaching me to be a good steward while providing me with a sense of belonging. I learned to trust that in nature God gave me a place to ponder and to wonder, to heal and to be loved.

As my life journey continued, there were times when God and I didn’t see eye-to-eye. Sometimes, I would forget to recognize God’s presence, neglecting my prayer altogether. When I wandered from God, God did not wander from me, whether I was aware or not. The Holy Spirit guided me through life’s major decisions, providing the wisdom to consider each choice carefully, weighing the good against the not as good, and arriving at a conclusion only when I possessed a positive attitude. I benefited greatly from that guidance with little conscious acknowledgement. God stayed faithful to our almost one-sided relationship without much response from me.

I was living the “perfect” life, happily married with two beautiful children in a lovely home, when God started to place a longing on my heart. Sunday after Sunday, I watched my whole neighborhood empty in the morning and not return until much later in the day. “Where were they going and why?,” I wondered. I needed to understand this mystery. It turned out that my contemporaries were heading off to Mass and then spending the better part of the day with their extended families. Living far away from family, I began to explore how we might find such a community with whom to share at least part of our Sundays. The magis, or “more”, placed on my heart turned out to be a vibrant, nourishing church parish where we truly belonged. My call to active ministry began.

It was not long before my thirst for “more” led me to participate in an “At Home Retreat” where I was formally introduced to St. Ignatius of Loyola. I drank in the weekly scripture, prayer, and discussion. I learned about St. Ignatius’s life and his conversion. I learned about contemplation and discernment and spiritual direction. Everything felt so natural, innate to me. It was all so new and yet comfortable like a long-lost friend. I embraced the language of Ignatian spirituality, which filled my heart and energized my soul.

Recognizing my call to God’s service propelled me along an exciting path of learning and ministry, all the while, discerning with the assistance of spiritual directors who helped me learn to listen. From graduate school to leading retreats and marriage preparation to teaching high school young men, many opportunities were presented to me. Some were true callings while others, though needed, identified themselves as mere distractions or not the best use of my gifts.

My life journey thus far has been a dance with God. I have come to understand some basic truths. I learned that when I let God take the lead, the dance is much more beautiful. Developing my prayer life strengthens my relationship with God. Using the tools of Ignatian spirituality provides me with the clarity and wisdom necessary to begin to understand how God is calling me. Finding beautiful souls who share in their appreciation of St. Ignatius allows me to be part of an amazing community.

I am delighted and honored to be included on this blog with my dear friend Becky Eldredge and the Into the Deep team as we accompany you on the journey of faith.

 

Go Deeper?

Are you interested in learning more aobut the magis Claudia mentioned? You can read more about it here.
You can read more about spiritual direction here.

 

 

Photo by Clayton Holmes on unsplash. 

 

 

Drawn to Ignatius: My Journey With Ignatian Spirituality

During our first Into the Deep blog series “Drawn to Ignatius” members of our writing team will tell us the ways Ignatian Spirituality has informed their lives, prayers, and their desire to go into the deep. Today Charlotte Phillips shares with us her journey with Ignatian Spirituality.

My journey with Ignatian Spirituality began almost 20 years ago. On a hot and humid day in August 2001, my mom and I made the little over two-hour drive to Mobile, Alabama to Spring Hill College to move me into my freshmen dorm. As a pretty sheltered and very shy 18-year-old, this was a huge step outside of my comfort zone. I was equally excited and terrified- l was leaving my family and friends and was going to college where I knew NO ONE. At that time, I knew Spring Hill was Catholic, but I didn’t know anything about the Jesuits or Ignatian Spirituality. Looking back, the Ignatian charism was seen the moment we drove onto campus- standing in front of the freshmen dorm were several smiling upperclassmen waiting to help unload our cars and bring my belongings to my new home away from home. Service for others, a key component of Ignatian Spirituality, is one of my first memories of Spring Hill.

During my time in college I don’t think I was aware of how important not only learning about, but also living the Ignatian way would be. Spring Hill taught me how to think, how to reason, how to learn. While my degree was in theology, the importance of community was present in every class I took. Classes were small and our professors knew our name. I was able to serve others through my work study program-working in daycares and schools in neighborhoods that needed help the most. My spirituality needs were met not only through my classes, but also through Mass on the weekends and retreats offered throughout the year. Four years later I walked down the Avenue of the Oaks beaming with pride-Spring Hill helped form me from a shy 18-year-old teenager to a much more confident 21-year-old young adult.

I went back to Spring Hill a year after I graduated for a retreat. It was then that I learned about Ignatian Contemplation, and I saw scripture in a whole new light. Ignatian Contemplation, or imaginative prayer, is imagining the scripture passage as though you are writing a book or making a movie. You completely immerse yourself in the story to see what God is trying to say to you. To this day, Ignatian Contemplation is still one of my favorite ways to pray with scripture.

As life goes on, I get married and we start to have a family. Two kids into our marriage I attended a preached Ignatian retreat. During this retreat I remember crying out, begging God to speak to me. Thankfully, I opened the ears of my heart just wide enough to hear a whisper-and in that moment was reminded that God is with me always. As St. Ignatius of Loyola said, we can “find God in all things.” This was truly a light bulb moment for me- after this retreat I dug deep into Ignatian spirituality, wanting to remember what I had learned in college and wanting to know more.

Ignatian spirituality is now a part of who I am. Ignatian spirituality has taught me the importance of prayer, and prayer as a true relationship with God-not just a one-sided conversation where I do all the talking. Even our children are learning how to reflect on their day using a child friendly Examen we say as a family each night before bed. I am also so fortunate to work with Becky and have my job being focused on bringing St. Ignatius’ great wisdom to others. At this time in my life I could not imagine a more fulfilling call in ministry!

My relationship with God is essential to me in my everyday life. Just as we have time everyday to work, play, and eat, I also make time every day for God. Because of Ignatian spirituality I am reminded that I am never alone, that God is always with me. I can see God in my children, in my husband, and in others I encounter throughout the day. I can see God in my work, in motherhood, and in my marriage. Ignatian spirituality has taught me the importance of discernment and finding clarity in ways that would not have been possible without the graces of God.

I am truly honored to be a part of this blog and look forward to diving into Ignatian spirituality even deeper with this community of Ignatian women!

 

 

Photo: Avenue of the Oaks by Anna Pellerin

 

Drawn to Ignatius: Trusting In God’s Abiding Love

During our first Into the Deep blog series “Drawn to Ignatius” members of our writing team will tell us the ways Ignatian Spirituality has informed their lives, prayers, and their desire to go into the deep. Today Beth Knobbe shares the many things she has learned through Ignatian Spirituality. 

 

Birthdays are a wonderful time to take stock of gifts and graces, and plant dreams for the year ahead! July is my birthday month, and this summer marks 25 years since I moved to Chicago – longer than I have lived anywhere else!

I live in a small condo on a tree-lined street with just enough space on my third-floor balcony for two flower boxes and a single tomato plant. I recently converted my dining room into a home office, and given the choice, I would spend all day baking in the kitchen! I am a teacher by training and a social justice advocate by profession. I do most of my writing from the oversized cozy chair that overlooks the trees outside my front window.

I find that I can be at home most any place, and a friend of mine is fond of saying, “Beth, you have a pilgrim’s heart.” I love to travel, and I believe that the journey is as worthy as the destination. I’ve stood in awe of the grandeur of God’s handiwork from the mountains of Nicaragua to the great cathedrals of Rome. But I’m more likely to tell you stories of how I’ve come to recognize God’s presence in the people, places, and circumstances along the way.

I was introduced to Ignatian Spirituality through Charis Ministries, who offer retreats and spirituality programs for young adults. While I am no longer a young adult, the tools and resources for developing a relationship with God grew with me, and my relationship with God sustained me through many changes and challenges.

Ignatian Spirituality has taught me many things:

God will use everything in the natural and created world to grab our attention, show us the way forward, and showcase God’s love for us. I use Ignatian tools like the Examen to look back on the day (or year) to see where I have noticed, or perhaps overlooked, God’s abiding presence.
I’ve learned to recognize the voice of God deep within my own heart. God’s voice often comes as a fleeting moment of clarity – like the quiet urge to extend an apology to a colleague, despite my reluctance to admit that I was wrong. I’ve learned to trust these subtle promptings, and to distinguish the small still voice of God from the shiny allure of evil.
Through imaginative prayer and contemplating scripture, I have truly encountered Jesus’ presence in my own life as my healer, teacher, and friend. Jesus who went out of his way to encounter the poor, the marginalized, the sinner. Jesus who hosted a table fellowship that was radically inclusive of everyone regardless of wealth or gender or social status.
Ignatius’ principles of discernment have guided me through significant career transitions, as well as small daily choices – like how to best support my community during the COVID crisis – calling me to be more of who God intends me to be.

Many years ago, a friend gave me a simple birthday gift that I’ve always treasured. It is a black and white refrigerator magnet with a quote from an unknown source:

Peace,
it does not mean to be in a place
where there is no noise, trouble or hard work.
It means to be in the midst of those things
and still be calm in your heart.

The world today may seem like a frightening place. We’re living through a pandemic, which has created an economic crisis, and revealed gross inequities in our society. It is in this context that the recent death of George Floyd, and countless other Black men and women, has sent forth a tidal wave of righteous anger at the pervasive racism in the United States.

As I join this team of writers, and we prepare to go Into the Deep, I hear God calling me deep into truth telling, deep into listening to the lived reality of our sisters and brothers, deep into acknowledging my own biases and blind spots, and deep into the long, hard work of reconciling relationships and creating more just structures.

It takes courage to enter into deep waters, whatever they may look like for you. I am trusting in God’s abiding love and returning to it each day in prayer. The tools of discernment are helping me sort out how I am being called to respond to the needs of the world. Despite my own confusion, I’m finding peace and calm, deep in the heart of God.

Thank you for being on the journey with us!

Drawn to Ignatius: A Moment of Clarity

Dear Friends,

I am in a moment where I simply stand in awe of God. I feel pulled further into the expansion of Mystery, yet, here I am writing today to share a moment of clarity with you.

The Spirit awakened in me almost two years ago a sense that what I was doing in ministry was bigger than what was in front of me. I sat with my spiritual director each month, and we explored the awakening I felt, the calls that kept welling in me that didn’t quite make sense, and the deep desire I had for collaboration.

Clarity felt like an illusion at times. In prayer, I would catch a glimpse here or there of what the Spirit’s invitation might be. Over and over again, my spiritual director would tell me to keep praying and hold onto what the Spirit had made known and trust the rest would come into view when it was time. Pages and pages of my journals these last two years are titled at the top with “It Has Been Made Known” with bulleted lists underneath of me capturing what God had made known to me so far. If you read my journals, you would see words like…

It’s bigger than me
Empowering Voices, especially women’s
Ignatian spirituality
Collaboration
Inviting people deeper
Gathering Ignatian voices
Collective wisdom

If you would have told me in those moments of confusion and discernment over the past two years that major clarity would come during a time of quarantine during the pandemic, I would have laughed out loud.

God is full of surprises.

So what’s the exciting news I want to share with you that has become clear during these past few months?

My blog has a new name: Into the Deep: Exploring Ignatian Spirituality through the Voices of Women. Joining me each month will be an amazing team of regular contributors, all women, and all trained in Ignatian spirituality and Ignatian ministry. Many of the names you will be familiar with as they have shared their wisdom here before in guest posts. They are all friends and colleagues of mine. So often when I listen to their wisdom in our conversations I think- I wish others could hear her wisdom! Well now you can!

Our blog will remain committed to providing reflections and resources for you to go deeper in your walk with Christ through the lens of Ignatian spirituality. While we are an all-women writing team, our blog is not only for women, but for all seeking to dive into the deep. We will explore prayer, discernment, faith in action, Jesus, love, mercy, and hope, as my blog has since 2009.

Our first series we are writing together is called Drawn to Ignatius. You will get to know each woman and read of her experience of how she came to know St. Ignatius and his spirituality. My guess is you will stand in awe of God as you read the way God worked in each of their lives leading and guiding them to this moment.

It all makes sense what God was stirring in me for two years now, and I am excited to finally live into the clarity of the call. Gathering these voices together brings so much peace and joy in me. When we are all together praying, discerning and sharing, I can feel the Holy Spirit empowering and emboldening us. Ignatian discernment wisdom reminds us to check for the fruits of the Holy Spirit as we live into our decisions. I feel and see the fruits of the Spirit already, and I cannot wait to see what fruits come from sharing this with others!

Let us continue to pray for each other as we are drawn into the deep!

 

Peace,
Becky 

Going to My Inner Chapel: The Healing God Proclaims Beyond Our Feet

During our next series, Going to My Inner Chapel, members from my launch team will share how they have used wisdom gained from reading my newest book, “The Inner Chapel”, in their daily lives. Today Barbara Swartzel, a Presbyterian Pastor, shares her transformative experience on meditating with the woman who was bent over in the Synagogue.

I’ve never meet Becky in person but reading her book The Inner Chapel was transformative. What I read deeply spoke to me, affirming and putting into words what I sensed but did not have words for. I especially found the exercises at the end of each chapter helpful to work through, speaking to me in new and exciting ways.

The most transformative exercise in the whole book for me was meditating with the story of the woman who was bent over in the Synagogue who Jesus healed (Luke 13:10-17). When I lived out this adventure in my imagination, I became this crippled woman who could only see the floor, carrying a great burden. Jesus asked me what I was carrying, and if he could remove it from me. I found myself unpacking a great sack, filled with very old wounds that I had not realized I was carrying. As I journaled about each of these scars, I saw each one from a different perspective and they all lost their power to wound, and were healed. When I finally finished my time of prayer, I was able to stand tall, and look all around. I was no longer focused on the floor or my wounds! Over the ensuing weeks, I have continued to find even more freedom, and continue to find myself using new ways and patterns of thinking and acting.

It is also a great meditation to use in a group! I was leading a strategic planning session for my congregation , and as they age, they have fallen into the rut of focusing on doing the things they have done before, and are not as quick to ask the question of what God has in mind for us. I led them through this story, and we all came out with a new openness to experiencing God in new ways, and could lift our eyes from the floor to see all sorts of opportunities that God was placing before us. As we have continued to plan for our future, we are beginning to claim the healing God proclaims for us beyond our feet . We can once again think about possibilities for service and reaching out to our community!

This meditation reminded me that we often struggle to look past our own wounds without bringing them to God for healing. We also find that we can get so wrapped up in the details of our lives that we don’t look beyond ourselves. Both of these can cause problems in our relationship with God and also with others. Jesus forgives us and can set us free from all that holds us captive, if we are willing to bring our wounds for healing.

And that is just one of the prayer adventures in this fantastic book! There are so many included in both the chapters themselves, and also in the opportunities lifted up at the end of each chapter.

I keep coming back to this delightful book for more and more new ways to experience God at work in my life as I enter ever more deeply into prayer.

As a Presbyterian Pastor , I can wholeheartedly recommend this book to anyone who seeks to deepen their walk with God. It may be primarily directed to a Catholic audience, but there is absolutely no barrier that would prevent any Christian who seeks to deepen their faith and grow in maturity from benefiting from having this book available to refer to regularly.

With the use of this wonderful guide to prayer and daily life, we will all find that what we do flows out of our prayer and will be for the Greater Glory of God.

 

 

 

Go Deeper?

Would you also like to pray with the woman who was bent over in the Synagogue? You can listen to a guided imaginative prayer with this scripture here.
 If you would like to use imaginative prayer (which is also known as Ignatian Contemplation) with other scripture passages, you can find the steps to follow here.
My new book, The Inner Chapel: Embracing the Promises of God is now available! As a sincere “Thank You!” to all of you for your support, my publisher has extended a 30% off code for orders through August 13. Simply go here and use promo code 5207. You can also order from Barnes and Noble and from Amazon.

 

Going to My Inner Chapel: Deepening My Relationship with God

During our next series, Going to My Inner Chapel, members from my launch team will share how they have used wisdom gained from reading my newest book, “The Inner Chapel”, in their daily lives. Today Carrie Lambert shares with us how she’s used “The Inner Chapel” to deepen her relationship with God. 

Do you want to get to know Jesus? I mean, really get to know Jesus? Becky’s book, The Inner Chapel, is like a roadmap to help us find our way to a deeper, loving, rich relationship with Jesus Christ, God our Father, and the Holy Spirit. This book has been a balm that soothed my soul during the difficult times of the pandemic. When the pandemic first hit, I was waiting on my order of this book to arrive. I kept myself busy with my Youth Ministry, but I knew I needed MORE.

In order to give more, I needed to receive more.

I was so grateful when the book arrived. I immediately sat down and forced myself to put it down each day after reading two chapters so I could savor it – like a wonderful dessert at the end of a good meal. It is so hard to pick out any one chapter that spoke to me over another one, but I will try.

In Chapter 7, Becky writes of one of the last conversations she had with her grandfather, Boppy, who had glioblastoma. Boppy tells Becky that he “can’t imagine life without Jesus,” and asks her to:

“Promise me you will not stop doing what you are doing. Promise me you will continue to spread the Good News to others. Promise me you will tell people what we understand about the gift of a relationship with Jesus.”

This was the hardest chapter for me to read because I lost my father to dementia on July 1, 2019, a dear friend of mine lost her husband to glioblastoma in October of 2019, and I lost my mother-in-law in December of 2018 to glioblastoma. Reading this book, though, has helped me to cope with my loss and grief.

Becky’s book is about many aspects of our lives where we need help in developing a deep and rich prayer life, connecting with God on a deeper level, and discerning who we are and what our next steps in life might be. Another chapter that really struck me was Chapter 8. I read that chapter a couple of weeks into the pandemic and I could not help but be amazed. Every word that Becky writes is dead on with how the world has been feeling – exhausted in every way. We’ve all been too busy to explore the things we were created for and simply “be” with God. The pandemic gave us that time; we all needed to rest. I especially loved when Becky wrote:

“The Good News for us is that we are not completely on our own when it comes to rest…Jesus says, ‘Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest’ (Matt. 11:28-30). . . . Our part is to come to him, and Jesus, who is our still point, is the source of our rest.” 

I decided to spread Becky’s message and – well – “her” to everyone I came into contact with: family, friends, co-workers. I started a book club on The Inner Chapel. Every single person that took my suggestion to connect with Becky through a retreat she offers or through The Inner Chapel cannot stop talking about how it has changed their lives – in the best way imaginable. So, as we slowly emerge from the cocoon of this pandemic, let us remember to find time for ourselves, our families, and our God. I feel ready to re-enter the world with renewed purpose, renewed vigor, and a completely renewed relationship with the Holy Trinity.

 

Go Deeper?

Still time to sign up for the Online Busy Person’s Retreat! Wanting one-on-one prayer support during this time? Looking to dive deeper? Register for the Online Busy Person’s Retreat on June 22-25. You’ll be paired with an Ignatian-trained spiritual director to meet online for about an hour a day for four days and given material and suggestions to support your daily prayer time. Register today!
**LAST DAY to Get Busy Lives & Restless Souls e-book for ONLY .99!**