Becky Eldredge's Blog, page 20

Saints Among Us: A Saint Like Me

Have you ever struggled to see yourself in another person? 

It was December 2017, less than a month after my son first received his hearing aids. We were taking a very last minute family staycation in a hotel in downtown Dallas. It had only been a few weeks so my then four-year-old son was still getting used to the bright blue devices in his ears. Honestly, we were all struggling a little with the newness of them. He, in particular, was getting used to distinguishing new sounds he had never heard before. There were moments when he had to remove the aids to just take a break from the influx of sound. He was also getting used to having two things prominently displayed on his head for all to see that labeled him as deaf – things he was starting to feel like no one else had.

One morning as my family walked through the hotel lobby, an employee waved at me to get my attention. She pointed to my son’s ears and then gestured at her own. Two small hearing aids, the color of her skin rested there, slightly hidden by her long, dark hair. I almost hadn’t noticed them at all – adult hearing aids are so much more subtle than children’s ones. “Look buddy!” I exclaimed, moving him closer to her to see. She leaned down and showed him her aids. He grinned exclaiming “She has them too!” with so much joy! It was as if he had been given an unexpected gift in this one chance encounter.

Of course it felt like a gift! It was the first time he had seen this new aspect of himself represented in another person. It took me a few more months of searching, but I eventually arranged for him to meet a high schooler and then, finally, a kid his own age with hearing aids. Each new encounter seemed to fortify him. He reminded me through these encounters how important it is to be able to see aspects of yourselves in others, particularly in people you can look up to as mentors and guides. 

In the Catholic Church, the people we often look up to are the Saints. We aspire to be like these Holy Men and Women that we have been reading about since we were children ourselves. What an incredible gift it is to read about the saints! It is such a treasure to learn about their lives and imagine what wonderful plans God might have for us as well.

It is an even greater treasure, however, to be able to see yourself in the saints. When you can look at an image of a saint and see that they have the same eye color as you or the same curly, unruly hair or the same color of skin, the idea that you could actually be one someday takes on a whole new meaning. 

Do you know how incredibly hard it was to find a saint with hearing loss?

I started looking for such a saint when my son started Catholic school and was invited to dress as a saint for the annual All Saints Day parade. I thought maybe, just maybe, I could get him inspired by a saint with hearing aids just like him. The first problem I ran into was the technology, of course. I mean unless a saint was born after 1913, they wouldn’t have worn commercially manufactured hearing aids. A saint would have to have been born in the 1970s or later to have hearing aids that even somewhat resembled what my son has in his ears today. There is such a small number of 20th century saints to begin with and that coupled with only approximately 5% of the world’s population having hearing loss, the task proved quite difficult. 

So, finding named saints who have hearing loss and wore hearing aids like my son was a challenge. I did, however, eventually find a few saints that had hearing loss (like Jesuit Rene Goupil, for instance). They did not have much written about them, but they did exist. I just had to be willing to look. 

My son is just one of many individuals who often feel like it is difficult to find themselves in the stories of Saints. I hear this today from Black Catholics who long to see themselves in the art and stories of our faith. I hear it from Latino and Black communities that long to see more representation in the higher offices of the Church. In fact, I think we all desire to see ourselves reflected in the mentors and guides we look up to. Sometimes the stories of Saints are vague or just mention the highlights of their lives. Sometimes the icons of saints distort who they really are. We hear stories and see images that depict the Saints as perfect individuals leading sinless lives. Yet the truth is, they were just as imperfectly human as we are. I think it is important for us to see ourselves in the Saints – our faces, our bodies, our abilities and our disabilities, and even the signs of our imperfect humanity. 

I have been so inspired recently by people who are doing the work to bring attention to saints in a new way, people who are working hard to represent them as they were instead of how we would like them to be. Perhaps the call to action for myself and for you as well is to continue to seek out and learn more about saints that are out of our normal frame of reference. When we find them, let’s mention them, tell their stories, write about them, draw new icons that depict them exactly as God made them to be. 

Let us do the work to help all around us see themselves in this beautiful communion.

 

 

 

Go Deeper:

November 5th is the Feast of All Saints of the Society of Jesus. You can find out more about Jesuit Saints here. You can also check out this comprehensive book by Joseph N. Tylenda.
Follow Meg Hunter-Kilmer on Instagram @mhunterkilmer. She is working on a new book of saint stories which seeks to depict the saints in the fullness of who they are. You can learn more about the upcoming book here. She also often posts stories about many lesser known saints in the canon all located in her highlights section. She helped me find a deaf saint in fact! 
Check out the book Holy Troublemakers & Unconventional Saints by Daneen Akers
Curious about deaf saints? Here are a few: 

Rene Goupil, SJ
Blessed Andre Planas Saurí
Saint Jaime Hilario Barbal

 

 

Photo by Solen Feyissa on Unsplash

 

Saints Among Us: Remembering Our Holy Ones

In the time of their visitation they shall shine, and shall dart about as sparks through stubble.

-Wisdom 3:7

 

On a crisp April morning the kitchen was as crowded as the living room.  People gathered close, sitting in twos or threes on the stairs with paper plates balanced on their knees, or pressed together on chairs tucked in next to the couch.  The dining room table held a mix of tasty offerings tucked around an  ample deli tray.  Small children wove in and out among adult legs.  The smack of the screen door out back and a temporary rise and fall in volume signaled the arrival of another friend or family member.  Though some were only meeting for the first time, all were glad to be together sharing fond memories of Sara.  

As I recall that day, over 12 years ago now, I see Rich standing by the sideboard with their ten-month-old daughter in his arms.  A rainbow of tulips surrounds photos of Sara, capturing important milestones and simple everyday moments.  In the peaceful quiet that enveloped us Rich shared gratitude for his life with Sara and the support they received during her illness.  Then the lights flickered.  Knowing smiles and gentle laughter broke the silence.  We recognized Sara’s desire for us to know she was with us.  She never liked to miss a good party.  I continue to be grateful for the many gifts I received in saying yes to their invitation to accompany them in the last months of her life and the first months after her death.

I think of Sara and others with bittersweet joy when I hear Carrie Newcomer’s, Gathering of Spirits.  In the second verse, she sings, “Some glow like embers / Like a light through colored glass / Some give it all in one great flame / Throwing kisses as they pass”.  When it pops up in my playlist, I join in on the refrain with both a smile and tears:

Let it go my love my truest,

Let it sail on silver wings

Life’s a twinkling that’s for certain,

But it’s such a fine thing

There’s a gathering of spirits

There’s a festival of friends

And we’ll take up where we left off

When we all meet again.

The Catholic Church celebrates All Souls Day on November 2nd.  Following just after All Saints Day, All Souls is an opportunity to take time to mourn and to rejoice, to remember our “holy ones”,  family members, friends, and other people we loved and admired, even those who challenged us, who have departed this world for the next.  

Memories of our loved ones arriving through our senses are ready made for prayer.  St. Ignatius recommends returning to scripture scenes in imaginative prayer to savor the moments through engaging our senses.  In a similar way, when a sight or sound, smell or taste sparks our memory, we can take those commonplace experiences into prayer to see and to hear from our loved ones and from God, reminding us of gifts we’ve received.

The smell of automotive paint mingled with fresh cut boards places me with Grandad working on projects in his cool garage on a hot day, surrounding me with peace.
The crunch and chew, savory sweetness of Aunt Mary’s gingerbread cookies reminds me of her spicy teasing, and also her acceptance when my teenage angst needed an outlet.
Hearing the 1812 Overture played during an Independence Day concert takes me back to a cool damp picnic blanket watching and hearing fireworks and church bells exploding around a New England town square, recalling Bob’s heart for his family and community.
A jumble of brightly colored jigsaw puzzles fills me with gratitude for Don, experiencing his loving presence and comfortable companionship even when we couldn’t have deep conversations anymore.

During the invitation to prayer at Catholic vigil services held prior to a funeral mourners hear, “We believe that all the ties of friendship and affection which knit us as one throughout our lives do not unravel with death.”  Our beloved continue to offer messages of encouragement, healing, and abiding presence, sparkling at the edge of our awareness to catch our attention.  I invite you to take time to notice when something sparks your memory, pausing to revisit that experience using all your senses.  Have a heart-to-heart conversation in prayer with the one who has reached out to get your attention, or simply enjoy their company.  All Souls Day celebrates this communion with those we love, promising “we’ll take up where we left off when we all meet again.”

 

 

 

Go Deeper:

Using our senses is a very Ignatian approach to prayer.  In her 2018 “Thinking Faith” article, Making Sense of the Application of the Senses, Gemma Simmonds, C.J., notes, “Ignatius remarks that it is not complex thinking and theological speculating that will bring about a change in us but ‘sensing and tasting things interiorly’ (Sp Exx §2): looking, listening, savouring, relishing and embracing what we contemplate.”  
Many churches, inspired by the Mexican Día de los Muertos tradition, invite the community to bring photos of their dearly departed, and to place them around the sanctuary or baptismal font.  We are visually reminded throughout November,  the last month of the liturgical year, that in this communion of saints “we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses” who remain close to us always.
In Uniquely Created: The Miracle of Faith, Faye Coorpender recounts the memory of Sr. Julie and the profound impact their friendship had on her professional and spiritual life, including a gift of faith.

Pray with this guided reflection on a loved one who has passed away from our Into the Deep writer, Vinita Wright.

 

 

Photo by Julie Crea Dunbar

 

Saints Among Us

Dear Friends, 

I am writing this letter just two days before I head on my annual eight-day silent retreat.  By the time you read this, I will actually be on my last day of retreat.  Know I will be praying for you on my retreat.  As you read this, please say a prayer of thanksgiving for the graces God poured into me and that they may take deep root in my life.  

It feels fitting that I will return home from retreat and a few days later we will celebrate the Feasts of All Saints Day and All Souls Day.  Each year, I begin my silent retreat inviting my favorite Saints and saints to pray for the retreat.  I call upon my “heavenly club” to pray for me so my retreat can draw me into deeper union with Christ: St. Ignatius of Loyola, St. Teresa of Avila, St. John the Baptist, St. Mother Teresa.  I also call on my loved ones who have gone before me, especially my grandfather.  I find deep comfort in asking these holy ones to pray for me.  

After calling on them for prayers, I turn to Mary and entrust my retreat into her hands asking for my retreat to bring me ever closer to her son.  Finally, I ask Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit to open me to receive whatever they seek to offer me on this retreat. 

Beginning my retreat this way helps me surrender my retreat out of my hands and into the Holy Spirit’s hands.  Knowing that there are people praying for me as I make my retreat comforts me through the swings of consolation and desolation, in the moments I am being invited to take a real and hard look at an area of my life in need of forgiveness or healing, or when a new invitation arises that makes me both excited and afraid.  The Communion of Saints is one of the ways I remember that I am not alone.  God is with me.  

This next month our Into the Deep writers will be celebrating Saints Among Us by sharing about those who have gone before them, whether officially a Saint or not, and how the witness of their faith impacted their lives.  

I am also excited to share that registration is open today for our Advent retreat!  The retreat is called We Are Not Alone:  An Online Advent Retreat to Pray the Season.  I partnered with my friends and collageues Stephanie Clouatre Davis, Kathy Powell and Charlotte Phillips to create a retreat in daily life to provide a pause and make time for God in one of the busiest seasons of life.  

This retreat starts on the first Sunday of Advent, November 29th and runs through the Feast of the Holy Family on December 27th. We are thrilled to walk with you in prayer during this season, especially when we might find ourselves wondering what preparing for Christmas could even look like this year.

Each week is a guided week of prayer done on your schedule. This weekly prayer plan includes: 

Guided Lectio Divina, a prayer method to prayerfully savor scripture
Suggested Scriptures with Reflection Questions
Guided Ignatian Contemplation, a prayer method to place you within the scripture
Guided Visio Divina, a prayer method of praying with an image
Gathering the Graces, a method of reviewing your weekly prayer

We’re also including optional weekly LIVE community prayer calls via Zoom, offered at two different times, and a prayer library to help you dive deeper into the prayer methods used during the retreat to continue to develop and deepen your practice of prayer long after Advent ends.

This retreat is an easy way to ground yourself in prayer and let us accompany you this Advent. We are not alone. I hope you will join us. Register here.

Know of my prayers for you! 

Peace,

Becky 

 

 

Photo by Prisalla Du Preez on Unsplash

 

Uniquely Created: Ministry and Motherhood

This month’s blog series is “Uniquely Created.” Last month we spoke about Gathering the graces. God graces us with all we need to be the person God uniquely created us to be. If we internalize and believe and trust that we are in fact uniquely created, uniquely gifted, uniquely formed, and uniquely called…we can more easily move into the person God created us to be.

I was not one of the “cool” kids in high school. I was (and still am) very introverted and have always loved to learn. At the end of my sophomore year, I was asked if I wanted to go to CLI (Catholic Leadership Institute) with the Diocese of Baton Rouge that summer. I didn’t know exactly what I was being asked to do, but I was excited my campus minister saw leadership potential in me. I remember going home begging my parents to go. They reluctantly said yes, and so, on my 16th birthday, this shy, sheltered, small town teenager left her parents for the first time.

I arrived at the Diocesan Youth Office excited and nervous. I was the only person from my church parish on the trip. I knew two other girls from school, but they were from a different parish. The moment my parents left I was so full of emotions that I burst into tears as I waited to get on one of the many 15 passenger vans for our 15+ hour long journey from Baton Rouge to the University of Notre Dame. The youth minister from the neighboring parish took me under her wing and I immediately felt at ease. Unlike school, I quickly made friends with people in the van. I knew right then these were my people.

CLI was a life changing moment for me. It opened my eyes to people and places outside of my small hometown. It let me experience my faith in a way I never had before. I was thrilled to learn there were other teenagers just as excited about their relationship with God as I was! When our 10-day trip was over I left wanting more. I wasn’t ready for my retreat experience to end.

Junior and senior year I got even more involved in campus ministry at my high school. I joined the neighboring parish youth group. I joined “youth board”, the diocesan group of high school and college students who helped plan diocesan-wide youth events. I may not have had the language at the time, but doing ministry, doing retreat work was and is something I am uniquely called to do by God.

I went to college and knew I wanted to major in Theology so that I could do youth ministry. I wanted to provide the same experience for other youth that had been so pivotal to me. I was excited about my faith and wanted to share that excitement with others.

After college, I came back to Louisiana where I got my first job in another small town as their youth minister. I couldn’t have asked for a better first “real” job. I had an amazing group of kids and volunteer parents who wanted to see the program succeed and grow.

As time went on, I got my Masters of Pastoral Studies, got married, and continued to work in ministry in youth ministry, campus ministry, and teaching.

Another unique call I have from God is to be a mother. I am still so grateful that I was working in a parish after our daughter was born that let me bring her to work. When she was a little over a year old, we moved back “home” to Louisiana, and she had to go to daycare for the first time as I had gotten a job teaching high school religion. It was during that time we learned I was expecting again. After a lot of prayers, my husband and I decided I would stay home with our two children.

There were times that I missed working, but overall, I was so grateful that I had the option to spend time home with our kids. Over the years of being home, the desire to return to ministry would surface, but I didn’t know what that would look like with little ones in the house. When our fourth child was a little over a year, I really felt God calling me back to work. I thought I was looking for a “unicorn” job-something in ministry that was part time, flexible, and paid enough to justify putting our little one in a mom’s day out program.

God’s timing, as always, was perfect. I found a job doing part time youth ministry, and shortly after Becky reached out about working for her part time as well. I happily worked both jobs before realizing that while I was still called to ministry, my desire had shifted from working with youth to adults, so after a year I left my youth ministry job and have continued my work with Becky.

I am grateful for Ignatian Spirituality which has given me the language and tools to continue to discern what God is calling me to do in my life. I am grateful for the six years I had home as a stay at home mom. I am grateful for Becky, and that my job allows me to work a flexible schedule to be more available to our kids while they are still so young.

God has uniquely called me to ministry and motherhood. I may still be finding my voice in the world of adult ministry, but with an open heart to hear God’s will in my life I know I will continue to find my way.

Go Deeper:

What has God uniquely called you to do? After revisitng the Sense-Making handout reflect on these questions:

As you look back over your life, do you see any common themes and patterns?
What gifts do you find yourself using frequently?
What continues to bring you joy?


Praying with Scripture:  

Jeremiah 29:11-14
Psalm 139
1 Corinthians 12:1-11

 

 

Photo by Cong Wang on Unsplash

 

Uniquely Created: Called and Sent for Mission

This month’s blog series is “Uniquely Created.” Last month we spoke about Gathering the graces. God graces us with all we need to be the person God uniquely created us to be. If we internalize and believe and trust that we are in fact uniquely created, uniquely gifted, uniquely formed, and uniquely called…we can more easily move into the person God created us to be.

I stared out over the mountain vista one last time and breathed in the fresh smell of pine trees while the clang of the church bell echoed off in the distance. I knew it was time to go home, but I wasn’t ready to leave. We had come to this small mountain village ten days earlier with a mission to build bonds of friendship between our church community and the families of Cusmapa, Nicaragua.  

I wasn’t ready to leave. I wanted to soak in every last ounce of early morning dew, the shrill of roosters crowing at sunrise, the smell of wood burning stoves, the aroma of fresh ground coffee (locally grown!), and hand tossed tortillas wrapped in a warm towel.  

After a week of cold showers and sporadic electrical outages, I longed for the comforts of home. And yet, there was something comforting about the simplicity of daily life here – the rhythm of morning prayer and evening reflections, endless soccer games on a makeshift field, and gathering at the overlook point where God paints a new masterpiece with every sunset. It would be another five years before the internet arrived at this far outpost, so our evenings were marked by card games and passing around the guitar without worrying about whether the moment was Instagram worthy. 

Our final morning, I stood on the front porch of the modest guest house staring back at the mountain top still not quite ready to leave, but sensing a renewed courage for the journey ahead. Riding on the back of a pickup truck down the winding dirt road, with its harrowing twists and hairpin turns, seemed far less precarious than when we had made the trip up the mountain ten days ago. 

There is a little proverbial wisdom about discovering our calling in life, “When God gives you one piece of the puzzle, he keeps the lid to the box.” For many people, a service trip is like a bright spot on a little piece of the puzzle; for me, this mission experience was like finding a corner piece!

Being called and sent on mission would become a cornerstone of my vocation and forever change the landscape of my professional trajectory. Little did I know then, I would return to Nicaragua ten times over the next twelve years as a campus minister, leading university students on service immersion trips, and today I work for Catholic Relief Services, the church’s official international humanitarian aid agency.   

It was not by accident that God lured me to Nicaragua that summer. God had carefully etched out dozens of service experiences throughout my young adult years, which all fit tightly together. Each new opportunity adding a piece to this vivid image that has become my life’s story. That first trip to Nicaragua was both an extension of the person God had created and a defining moment for who I would become. 

God uniquely forms each one of us, and then God sends us to places near and far, with our unique gifts and talents in order to serve a world in need. Sometimes that call is the result of a transformational moment. Other times, it is the culmination of a thousand daily “yes-es” in response to God’s prompting.   

Yes to reading one more bedtime story
Yes to sitting with a friend at the doctor’s office
Yes to donating items to the food pantry  

In continuing to say “yes” to God’s call, I have discovered an immense joy, even when the work itself has not always been easy. This call has enlarged my heart and added a whole new dimension to the puzzle of my life – a dimension that allows me a glimpse of what mission really means. I have traveled to far flung places, but I have also rediscovered the margins within my own city and neighborhood. This response of love has given me courage to do things I never imagined, and my vocation continues to unfold in ways that I would not have chosen if it weren’t for God’s invitation. 

God is not finished with me, and there is humility in acknowledging all of the work that is still to be done. I am continually being formed and re-shaped by the people I meet along the way. I am inspired by the vision of our Nicaraguan partner organization whose local leaders are truly making a difference for their communities. These friendships have offered me a closer look into the complexity and harsh realities of extreme poverty, and they have expanded my understanding far beyond the sentimental memories of a short-term mission experience.

Much of the work I do today is advocating for public policy that seeks to change unjust systems and create policies that benefit the common good of our sisters and brothers around the world.  I am humbled to be the voice of vulnerable communities as we build relationships with members of Congress and train advocates for global justice. 

When we say “yes” – whatever our mission may be – we participate in God’s creative work to color and shape the lives of those around us.  

As I look back to that mountain top experience almost two decades ago, there is a familiar aching sense that says, “I’m still not ready to leave”. My call to be on mission is far from over, as there are other parts of the puzzle that God will continue to reveal.

Go Deeper:

Learn more about the Fabretto Children’s Foundation and their work in Nicaragua  
Check out this Service Immersion Facilitator’s Guide from Catholic Relief Services  
For resources on Ignatian Discernment, see additional posts from Becky Eldredge and Beth Knobbe 
If you enjoy praying with music, you might consider one of these songs about knowing our call: 

The Summons by John Bell
Pescador de Hombres / Lord When You Came by Cesáreo Gabaráin
The Servant Song by Richard Gillard


Praying with Scripture:  

Luke 5:1-11 Call of the disciples 
Luke 10:1-17 Sending the 72 
Ephesians 4:1-16 Live a life worthy of the calling you have received 

 

 

Photo of the mountain vista at Cusmapa, Nicaragua, by Beth Knobbe

 

Uniquely Formed: Formed, Formed, and Formed Again

This month’s blog series is “Uniquely Created.” Last month we spoke about Gathering the graces. God graces us with all we need to be the person God uniquely created us to be. If we internalize and believe and trust that we are in fact uniquely created, uniquely gifted, uniquely formed, and uniquely called…we can more easily move into the person God created us to be.

When I started my website just over 18 months ago, I thought a lot about what I wanted to share with anyone who might engage with my writing. I agonized over the lines that I wanted people to see even if they clicked no further than the front page. It took some time and reflection, but I finally settled on two truths I wanted to make sure everyone who happened by my page had a chance to hear at least once in their lives: 

God is not finished with you yet. 
If you are moving closer to the person God created you to be, the details will work themselves out. 

Why these two truths? Well, first of all, I do not know about you, but I mess up a great deal in this life. I say things I don’t mean. I get frustrated. I make poor choices. Yet somehow, every single time, I find redemption. Someone gives me a second chance or the day resets and the sun comes up again and I get to repair it. Even when I think I could not possibly get a second chance this time, I do. 

I get to try again. 

This type of redemption, this ability to try again even if I fail again, it is just not possible if God is done forming me. I can’t possibly be a finished product. Instead of a piece of pottery already fired in the kiln, I’m the wet clay still being formed and tweaked and adjusted every single day. Knowing this truth helps me continue to be hopeful even when inevitably my humanity gets in the way and I mess up once again. 

Second of all, I do not know about you, but I, more often than not, get caught up in the details of life. They are what keep me from moving forward and allowing myself to be formed and adapted  by God’s grace. When I feel God pushing me toward something new, I can also feel myself pushing back saying: “But God I can’t possibly do that, what about security? What about what others expect of me? What about what I thought I wanted? What if I do this and I fail?” The details often wrap around me like the flames from the kiln’s fire and threaten to harden me into a finished product. 

Therefore, recognizing and speaking this truth – that the details will work themselves out – allows me to stay malleable to God’s will and direction. The truth that God has a specific plan for me and my formation allows me to live into the changing directions of my life with a little more trust and a lot more faith. 

I believe these truths once recognized and internalized help us live into the people God created us to be. They allow us to be formed and adjusted and remade over and over again. They open our hearts to mercy. They allow us to leave space for redemption. They give us the vocabulary to let others know that God is not finished with them yet either. 

There is one more truth that I did not place on the front page of my website that maybe I should add. It’s a truth I’ve come to know quite recently and I feel it is important to note here for you as well: The only one that can stand in the way of God forming me… is me. 

Every time I think I can’t, every time I think someone else can do better, every time I think God is done with me – I get in the way of the magnificent plan God has for my life. Everytime I lean in, everytime I allow myself to be malleable to a new direction, everytime I allow myself to feel redeemable – God forms me anew. 

I share these truths with you today because I want you to know I see you. I see you when you struggle to believe that God has a way forward for you. I see when you struggle to believe that you are capable of great change, tremendous growth, and living a quite magnificent life. I see when the details threaten to harden you and keep you from being malleable to God’s design for you. 

I see that in you because I see that in me. 

So let us work together to remind ourselves of these truths daily: 

God is not finished with you yet; 
If you are moving closer to the person God created you to be, the details will work themselves out; 
The only person that can get in the way of God forming you… is you. 

God is ready to begin. Are you ready to let God start?

Go Deeper:

You can read more of Gretchen’s great wisdom here:

Why I Write 

Daily Step: This Prayer is For You

Mercy: God’s Ongoing Creation 

 

 

Photo by KT on Unsplash.

 

Uniquely Formed: Helping Others Through Spiritual Direction

This month’s blog series is “Discovering Our Call.” Last month we spoke about Gathering the graces. God graces us with all we need to be the person God uniquely created us to be. If we internalize and believe and trust that we are in fact uniquely created, uniquely gifted, uniquely formed, and uniquely called…we can more easily move into the person God created us to be.

Drew Brees was born to play football.  Winston Churchill was born to lead.  St. Teresa of Calcutta was born to serve the poor.  I’m convinced I am called to do spiritual direction ministry.  

I didn’t always think that.  In fact, for most of my life, I had no idea what I was called to do.  But I’ve always known two things about myself: I’m an introvert and I enjoy helping others.  Knowing these two things helped me recognize God’s call to serve.   

I’m sure there were times when I was growing up when my family worried about me.  I come from a Cajun family, and Cajuns like to talk and socialize.  Not me.  I was the quiet one in the family, the observer, the listener, the one who processed everything internally.  I’ve always been more comfortable with a book and a quiet nook in which to read it.  I’ve always been the person in the background, observing and listening instead of doing and talking.  Even my hobbies are introverted: baking, gardening, birdwatching.  Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against interacting with people, but it’s definitely not my natural choice.  

Which brings me to the second thing that makes me “me”.  I like helping people, and that goes back a long way.  One of my earliest memories is volunteering to clean the blackboards and chalk erasers for my second grade teacher every day after school.  (I realize many of you are too young to remember blackboards and erasers.)  Being available to help others, no matter how small the task, is a way for me to express gratitude for God’s generosity.     

Fast forward to my present vocation, spiritual direction.  As retirement from thirty years in state government approached, I wondered how I could use my introversion and desire to help others in this new phase.  

In the months before retirement, I noticed my co-workers would stop by my office just to chat.  They said 

they felt welcomed there.  Some came to talk, some just came to sit and regroup mentally and emotionally.   Many times I didn’t have to say anything, I just had to be there and listen. It was becoming apparent to me that I enjoyed listening one-on-one to people.  It felt very natural and helpful.  About this time, I made my annual retreat during which I shared my retirement concerns with my director.  She suggested I consider the ministry of spiritual direction.  I was caught off guard by her suggestion, but at the same time I was curious.  When I attended an informational meeting and listened to the information being given, I felt an attraction, a longing almost, a peace and certainty about becoming a spiritual director.  I registered for the training that very evening.  It’s been eight years since then and I have not regretted that decision.  

Looking back, I can see that God was forming me to be where I am today.  My introversion, my listening skills, my desire to help others were all coming together at a time in my life when I had the time and the life experience to use them.    God is doing the same in your life, that is, revealing  your innate  gifts, giving  you life experiences, and putting mentors in your life.  It’s just a matter of being aware and being open to where God is leading you. May you each come to know and follow God’s unique call in your life.

Go Deeper:

It’s never too early (or too late!) to notice where God might be leading you.  Think of Drew Brees on his high school football team.  He surely was aware he had a natural ability to throw the ball;  Winston Churchill  must have known he could debate and make decisions;  St. Teresa of Calcutta always lived a life of service.  These were things they all noticed about themselves.  God gave them their special unique abilities and provided them with people who could reveal and nurture what God had given them.  So become aware of your gifts, talents, and natural leanings.  
Watch for God’s hand leading you to use them.  Everything in our lives can be used to serve God.  Notice where God is each day.  Even the not so great things in your day can be ways to learn and grow in grace.  We are called to share what we have learned from God with others.  
Pray with Jeremiah 18, “The Potter”.  Imagine yourself in God’s pottery workshop.  Watch as God lovingly looks upon you and creates something out of the clay.  See how pleased God is to create it.  What does it look like?  What kind of shape did it take?  What does the shape mean to you?  What do you say as God gifts you with it?  Let this give you insight into how uniquely created and formed you are.
I encourage you to pray with the helpful guide for discerning God’s call in Becky’s book, The Inner Chapel , pages 198-199.

 

 

Photo by Harli Marten on Unsplash.

 

Uniquely Gifted: Embracing All My Gifts

This month’s blog series is “Discovering Our Call.” Last month we spoke about Gathering the graces. God graces us with all we need to be the person God uniquely created us to be. If we internalize and believe and trust that we are in fact uniquely created, uniquely gifted, uniquely formed, and uniquely called…we can more easily move into the person God created us to be.

In 6th grade, I decided that I was too happy. I had heard the many comments on my loud, infectious laughter and naturally cheery outlook, and was entirely convinced that it must be a bad thing. So, I took action. At the beginning of the second semester, I moved all my seats to be far from my friends so that I wouldn’t get in trouble for talking and laughing too much. I focused on paying attention to the material being presented and not the people around me. I made an effort to still be friendly, but less excited. In general terms, I tried to remove the usual exclamation mark on everything I said or did. 

By the end of the year, my grades were nearly perfect — but I was pretty miserable. My efforts to try to change myself were tiresome and fruitless. I finally came to the realization that I am simply a cheerful person and probably always will be. I started to accept that as fact and own it as part of me. In retrospect, it seems hilarious that I had to make a conscious decision to be something that is so naturally ingrained in who I am. 

My ability to smile broadly and often, and to laugh with my whole heart, are gifts that God has given me, but they are not my identity. As Becky writes in The Inner Chapel: “Who I am in God is who I am.” I am a beloved child of God.  

It is that simple, but yet, I find myself needing consistent reminders. It often seems too easy to notice a uniqueness in myself, my personality or my way of being, and instantly return to my middle school self, struggling to see myself and my gifts as God sees them. Instead of embracing them as a way that God has made me uniquely unrepeatable, I tend to cling to them as a weakness, or at best, not fully accept that these qualities are part of how God uniquely, personally, and purposely, made me.

A tool that I lean on consistently is St Ignatius’ Suscipe prayer. Last month in our Gathering Graces series, Faye focused on the last two lines. This time, I invite you to read the full prayer in a unique way. Read the words slowly and silently to yourself, but when you come to a word in bold, speak it aloud. 

Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty,

my memory, my understanding,

and my entire will,

All I have and call my own.

You have given all to me.

To you, Lord, I return it.

Everything is yours; do with it what you will.

Give me only your love and your grace,

that is enough for me.

I like to let the repetition of “all” and “everything” hang in the air. When I commit all of me, including my strengths and weaknesses, to God, my concerns about identity disappear. It is not about me. In returning it all to the Lord, I can ground myself in gratitude for my creator and know in my depths that I am indeed a beloved child of God. 

Go Deeper:

Spend time in prayer with a sung version of the suscipe written by John Foley, SJ and performed by Natalie Lelyo.

 

 

Photo by Jamie Brown on Unsplash.

 

Uniquely Gifted: Bigger on the Inside

This month’s blog series is “Discovering Our Call.” Last month we spoke about Gathering the graces. God graces us with all we need to be the person God uniquely created us to be. If we internalize and believe and trust that we are in fact uniquely created, uniquely gifted, uniquely formed, and uniquely called…we can more easily move into the person God created us to be.

When I’m at a loss, uncertain how I’ll cope, I’m not particularly fond of hearing, “God doesn’t give us anything we can’t handle.”  I’m left with the uncomfortable feeling that God was the giver of this distressing, sometimes unfathomable event, leaving me to fend for myself.  I don’t believe that.  Sometimes we find ourselves on the receiving end of another’s actions, whether the hurt or damage we experience was intentional or not.   Sometimes we grapple with harsh consequences of our own poor choices.  Sometimes “stuff” just happens.  We won’t know the why or how until we can ask God at the end of our time on earth. Yet I firmly believe in God called Emmanuel, God-with-us always, who is especially close during hard times.

So how do we get through these hard times?  

Jesus says, “The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure buried in a field, which a person finds and hides again, and out of joy goes and sells all that [they have] and buys that field.”(Mt 13:44)  The Catholic Study Bible notes, “In the unsettled conditions of Palestine in Jesus’ time, it was not unusual to guard valuables by burying them in the ground.” What if one of the ways God is with us during difficult times is by encouraging us to return to our field and dig up gifts we buried there for safe keeping?

We each come into being in our mother’s womb gifted with a combination of temperament and physical characteristics, innate gifts and talents, that make up our unique genius.  Some of our gifts were nurtured as we grew into adulthood, however some treasures, aspects of our genius, we buried, possibly quite deep if they seemed outside acceptable family and community norms.

The philosopher-poet David Whyte describes genius as:

“something we already possess; best understood in its original and ancient sense; describing the specific underlying quality of a given place as in the Latin Genius Loci, the spirit of a place. … The human body constitutes a live geography, as does the spirit and the identity that abides within it. To live one’s genius is to dwell easily at the crossing point where all the elements of our life and our inheritance join and make a meeting.”  

When I am dwelling easily in the crossroads, I experience consolation, a sense of being accompanied by increases in faith, hope and love.  However, when I move into a defensive posture, shutting down in desolation, pulling back, and unwilling to share the fullness of myself with others, I am helped by Jesus and others who call me back to myself, reminding me who and whose I am, beloved of God.

I’m a fan of the long-running British TV-series Doctor Who, a time lord exploring the universe in the TARDIS, a spaceship that appears to be a blue police call box, but opens up to reveal an infinitely large interior, taking her diverse crew on all sorts of adventures.  A key element of the drama is the Doctor’s ability to regenerate, recreating a new body when the current one is damaged or aged beyond the ability for normal repair.  So far thirteen actors have portrayed the Doctor, each new one asking the questions:  What will I wear?  What do I like to eat?  Who am I now?

I’ve experienced my own ‘regenerations’, recreating my life at significant turning points.  Completion of education degrees, career changes requiring relocations, marriage ending, a serious illness, a dear friend’s death. With each challenge and transition I had to discover or rediscover the inner resources required to live into my new call as the same-only-different me.

The present-me has needed to dig up rusty stage manager skills from my high school days, including adding cues and hand-offs to talking points in PowerPoint notes.  These came in handy when running a dress rehearsal in preparation for an important online gathering of retreat and spirituality colleagues from Jesuit ministries in Canada and the US.  I’ve also been aware of stretching my inherited and natural gift of hospitality, experimenting with how to cultivate a sense of welcome and belonging to community through technology.  In lieu of Wednesday choir practice, I’m hosting a weekly ‘parish music makers’ gathering on Zoom.  And I’m a Sunday regular for our livestream of the 10:30 a.m. mass on Facebook, using the comments to greet fellow online church go-ers, sharing links to the daily readings, prayers and hymns, and offering emoticon signs of peace with others.

Like the Doctor, we are each a genius traveling through space and time with generous, faithful companions, facing difficult situations and living different lives. Along the way we acquire skills and experiences that illuminate our genius.  Through divine inspiration and the encouragement of others we claim and reclaim treasures that provide us as individuals, and as communities, the gifts we need to face every situation.  We revel in ‘ah ha’ moments when we realize with joy: we are bigger on the inside than we ever imagined.

Go Deeper:

Ephesians, 4:11 “But grace was given to each of us according to the measure of Christ’s gift.”   How do we know what our gifts are?  

The Catherine of Siena Institute offers a program, “Called and Gifted,” a way to explore with others our spiritual gifts, both those we all have access to through baptism, the seven gifts of Holy Spirit, and those gifts we give away for the benefit of others, our spiritual charisms. See also this Spiritual Gifts Test I found helpful.
A poetic way to explore what we inherited from family, and our natural gifts and talents is
Where I’m From by George Ella Lyon (1993) and NPR’s crowdsourced “Where I’m From” poem collecting memories of home.
Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation, by Parker J. Palmer, helped me reflect on my own life history as a way to understand how I might respond to God’s unfolding call.
The Gift of a Year: How to Achieve Most Meaningful Satisfying Pleasurable Year of Your Life, by Mira Kirshenbaum, suggests creative ways to name and sort through dreams and desires.

 

 

Photo by Frances Gunn on Unsplash.

 

Uniquely Created: Rooted in Our Creation and Choosing to Live Beyond the Compliments

This month’s blog series is “Uniquely Created.” Last month we spoke about Gathering the graces. God graces us with all we need to be the person God uniquely created us to be. If we internalize and believe and trust that we are in fact uniquely created, uniquely gifted, uniquely formed, and uniquely called…we can more easily move into the person God created us to be.

I recently overheard a woman say to another woman, “You look so good in that dress!” I saw her whole body light up as she received the compliment. She looked herself over again in a nearby mirror savoring and exploring the dress through the eyes of her friend. I watched as her eyes rose to delight and fell in disappointment as she looked at herself. I thought to myself, “Wow, I know that feeling!”

You know that feeling. It is the fleeting feeling that you are lifted from the despair of your own critical voice to only find that you are only again as you have always been. This critical voice is so very loud in so many of us. It has been shaped by critical interior and external voices of our past. We have reinforced these voices with our belief in them and our decision to allow them to echo inside of us. It is because of these critical voices that we leech onto compliments starving for a path away from these voices.

Knowing our deep desire to move away from these voices merits our consideration of our own worth and dignity. It is a vicious cycle of dependence that so many of us live in moving from one compliment to the next looking for validation. We desire so deeply to be loved and good. 

Consider the Woman at the Well. As she approaches the well, an activity she likely does daily as she runs out of fresh water, she is worn and tired. We often get thirsty again when we depend on compliments and comments to validate our worth. Jesus offers her “living water,” a water that will make her “never thirst again” (John 4). This water will become “a spring of water welling up to eternal life” (John 4). Jesus looks deeply into this woman and offers knowledge of her own self, her own creation. 

As a spiritual director, friend, and mother, I am graced to listen to so many others who long to understand that they are uniquely, purposeful, and willfully made by God.  

Often, we look for ways to remind ourselves of our own goodness. We look for compliments as the source of our goodness. Compliments, though a beautiful outflow of our own love for one another, are not the source of our goodness. When we treat compliments as the source of our goodness, we have great moments of despair as we wait for the next “fix,” or compliment, to relieve us momentarily of despair. 

Fr. Henri Nowen speaks of 5 lies:

I am what I have.
I am what I do.
I am what other people say or think of me.
I am nothing more than my worst moment.
I am nothing less than my best moment.

These lies become a cycle of high’s and low’s in our life instead of grounding ourselves in God as the source of our creation and goodness. 

God, the creator, is the root of our goodness. We are not made to live in despair; we are made for joy. In a homily Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI once said:

Each of us is the result of a thought of God. Each of us is willed. Each of us is loved. Each of us is necessary.

Is there nothing more delightful than living in the awareness that we are each a thought of God? Willed? Loved? Necessary? We are creatures of the Creator. Every cell of our body comes together intentionally in the beloved image of the Creator. 

Becoming aware that we are willed, loved, and necessary grounds us in our own creation. Knowing that God the Creator intentionally creates us, frees us to receive the goodness of compliments. We become not only free from the negative voices that plague us, but free to become the CREATURE that the CREATOR is presently creating. Because of this gift of freedom, our worth and dignity are rooted into our lives. It propels us to create the Reign of God here on earth. We are then free to receive and free not to receive compliments concerning our ongoing creation. 

When we become aware of our own creation, we grow in our understanding of how God loved us into life. Our response then is so filling that it directly reflects our creation. Our response is deep love of God and ourselves  “without limit.”

*For Abby and Emma, my beloveds. 

 

Go Deeper?

Read more about St Ignatius’ First Principle and Foundation. In the First Principle and Foundation St. Ignatius invites us to put God as the center of our lives.  In the first line he writes, “The goal of our life is to live with God forever. God, who loves us, gave us life. Our own response of love allows God’s life to flow into us without limit.”
Psalm 139: 1-16 
Review again the Discovering my Unique Gifts and Call tool.

 

 

Photo by Aditya Saxena on Unsplash.