Becky Eldredge's Blog, page 21

Uniquely Created: The Miracle of Faith

This month’s blog series is “Uniquely Created” Last month we spoke about Gathering the graces. God graces us with all we need to be the person God uniquely created us to be. If we internalize and believe and trust that we are in fact uniquely created, uniquely gifted, uniquely formed, and uniquely called…we can more easily move into the person God created us to be.

I am awestruck by the miracle of faith. My faith came to me not from some demand made by my parents, although they brought me to church and spoke of their faith, but simply put, my faith came from God .

I can hardly count all those whose lives inspired me along the way. The most effective witnesses were those who lived joyful lives like my friend and colleague, Marie Julie Reineke, SND. Sister Julie had a beautiful smile and gentle ways. I met her in 2007 when I accepted my first teaching position. I had come to teaching late in life. I was 52 years old, had recently completed a bachelor’s degree in English and a Master’s in Education (grades 8-12), and held a naïve image of what my teaching career would look like. I imagined bringing the wisdom of my years as a human resource specialist to my students, inspiring them to become good writers and verbal communicators, and they would be motivated by my dedication and my enthusiasm. They would hang eagerly on my every word, obey my rules, and produce excellent work of which both they and I could be proud.

Then school started and reality set in. I was teaching sophomore English and Theology, as well as junior English. Frustration was the order of my days and nights. I struggled to keep ahead of my students as I prepped three courses for the seven classes I taught, and counseled, graded, and commented on students’ efforts all while keeping up with an endless stream of faculty duties.

In the midst of these struggles I met Julie. She taught Theology across the hall from me. Her calm demeanor and quiet encouragement inspired me. She never commented on my frustration. She never gave suggestions on how I could manage my classroom better. She did not give advice on how to perform more efficiently. She accompanied me. I knew she was with me, on my side, available, and her presence was enough. I accepted my limitations. I grew more patient. I tried to follow her example. I tried to smile. I tried to love. I tried to let go of perfectionism. Julie accompanied me the way Jesus accompanies us.  

Jesus is with us, beside us, available. His presence is enough. I was drawn to follow Jesus by her example. With Jesus I can accept my limitations and be more patient with myself and others. I can smile. I can love. I can let go of perfectionism. 

I look back and see exactly how God worked through Julie to reach me. Which brings me back to the miracle of faith. The miracle that someone else’s faith affects mine. My faith affects the faith of another. That knowledge is almost too much for me, so I write about it and talk about it with others. 

I also know that we need someone to talk to who understands this miraculous concept. For me, that has meant sharing my faith with a spiritual director. While Sister Julie accompanied me one way, my spiritual directors came alongside me in a different way to nurture the miracle of faith.   

In their book, Spiritual Direction: A Guide for Sharing the Father’s Love, Thomas Acklin, OSB and Boniface Hicks, OSB write:

Spiritual direction is an opportunity to open one’s heart totally to another person, sharing the most intimate memories and experiences, all the way to the foundation of one’s being: the relationship with God. […] Through spiritual direction, a person can develop [a]one-on-one relationship with God and at the same time discover new depths in [their]own soul. [They]can also allow love to heal and transform those depths.

In the twenty years that I have met with a spiritual director, I have come to know God intimately, and as Acklin and Hicks suggest, love has healed the depths of my soul. As my relationship with God grew deeper, my most transformative discovery was that God chose me.  I was chosen and affirmed in a new call as a spiritual director — to accompany others, to be beside them, to be available, and to be truly present to them. It is a mission that brings me great joy, and my joy is magnified by the sure knowledge that my friend, Julie, is witnessing that joy from her place in heaven.

In John’s Gospel, we read, “It was not you who chose me, but I who chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit” (John 15:16).

God chose me. God chose you. Where did your journey begin? When did you become aware that God was stirring your heart? Whose faith awakened a desire in your heart?

 

Go Deeper?

Interested in learning more about spiritual direction? You can read about why others make time for it here.
Consider praying with John 15

 

Photo by This is Engineering RAEing on Unsplash.

 

Uniquely Created

Today, Becky introduces October’s blog series, “Uniquely Created.” Last month we spoke about gathering the graces. God graces us with all we need to discover our calls and be the person God uniquely created us to be. If we internalize, believe, and trust that we are in fact uniquely created, uniquely gifted, uniquely formed, and uniquely called…we can more easily move into the person God created us to be.

On several occasions recently while facilitating virtual retreats, a heightened awareness of the uniqueness of our creation rose within me so out of the blue that it welled tears in my eyes.  Each time this happened I felt as though my chest might burst open due to the intensity of experiencing God through consolation.  

One of the unexpected graces of virtual retreat ministry is seeing people’s eyes and faces up close.  

For over twenty years, I stood in front of all size crowds facilitating retreats and marveling at God’s work in people’s lives.  Through the years, the Holy Spirit has taught me how to pay attention to a room of people and to discern how the Spirit is inviting me to shift and move.   It is an art to both facilitate while watching body language and facial expressions and tending to the movements of the spirits within me.  

Virtual retreats bring people’s eyes into focus.  I can watch eyes fill with joy, sadness, hope and fear.  I notice intricate lines on people’s faces, see hair color, and skin color .  As people speak, the unique tone of their voices is heard and amplified coming across my computer.   I pause often during a virtual retreat to simply gaze at the sea of zoom squares before me.  Gratitude overwhelms me as I realize  each square represents one of God’s exquisite creations.   Each square represents a person engaging in a personal, intimate relationship with the Creator.  Somehow all at once, God tends to each person in a personal way. Gathering in this way, I feel I get a real glimpse of the Body of Christ.  

We are a unique, unrepeatable creation of God.  The magnificence of this fact takes my breath away.  God has uniquely created, formed, named, claimed, chosen and called us.  

Uniquely Created and Formed:  

Our very existence comes out of a creative act of love by God who cared deeply enough about us to form us in a unique, unrepeatable way.  There is no one, not one other person in this world, who is like you or me.  We each have unique characteristics, gifts, life circumstances, and relationships.  

Uniquely Named and Claimed: 

Yes, we are given our names by our parents and those who raise us, but we are also named and claimed by God in our relationship with God.  Many times, the Scriptures proclaim, “You will be my people, and I will be your God.” Our calls into relationship with God are personal and individual.  

Uniquely Chosen and Called : 

God chose us to be in relationship with God.  God chooses us as God’s people.  God calls us not only into relationship with God but also to use our gifts and calls in a unique way.  God sends us forth with a specific aspect of the Gospel to proclaim.  

This month’s series explores our unique unrepeatableness.   Our Into the Deep writers will offer their own reflections of their discovery of the uniqueness of their creation, their gifts, and their calls.  Throughout the month, we will be inviting you to reflect on your own creation and to discover your giftedness and call.  

To support our theme this month, please download the prayer resource, Discovering Our Gifts and Call,  that I co-wrote with one of our Into the Deep writers, Stephanie Clouatre Davis.  I invite you to bring this into your own prayer this month, as you discover your unique unrepeatable creation.  

Also, registration is now open for my next live virtual retreat on October 14th 10am-1pm Central.  The theme is Finding Rest in times of Chaos, Busyness and Uncertainty.  Hope to “see” you there!

 

Photo by Chris Montgomery on Unsplash.

 

Gathering the Graces: Softening Our Hearts to Receive Grace

This month’s blog series is “Gathering the Graces”.  St. Ignatius invites us to ask God for a grace each time we pray. This month, blog contributors will share stories about the graces God has given them and where God is leading them.

Maybe you are like me and often find yourself closed fisted and hardened of heart. Maybe this closed and hardened feeling is a result of anxiety, hurts, resentments, or a lack of trust. Maybe it is a result of holding onto impermanent realities, comforts, or promises.

A closed hand and heart cannot receive.

What opens a hand and a heart to receive? Trust? Vulnerability? Freedom?

This posture, though, can sometimes be uncomfortable. Recently in our Covid climate, I was sitting in my car in a moment of desperation, closed and hardened. I want to say that it was a moment of pause, but it felt more like a moment of paralysis. How was I going to figure out the litany of problems and fires that were gathering throughout my day? Words and plans were swimming in my mind as I tried to figure out how I would proceed. In the middle of my monologue to myself, a friend called. Knowing we were under a bit of stress, she offered a reprieve. My immediate posture was, no. 

Why would I say no to a gift of grace so undeniably piercing into my life? I remember saying words to falsify the reality, “No, we are okay, we are fine.” We were going to be okay, sure. We were going to be fine. In the immediate, though, we needed the reprieve. 

She offered again, and I felt tears warm my face and open my heart. I was so hardened and so closed that I surprised myself. I did not even know how dearly I needed the reprieve.

This is how grace enters. This is how grace penetrates our lives even when we are closed and hardened.

To be clear, we do not deserve grace. We cannot earn grace. Grace is freely given. God uses all things to present grace to us.

How can we open our hands and soften our heart?

Pause

Life is not so fast that we can not give ourselves a minute to consider and notice the grace entering our lives. Moving slower helps us become more aware of what St. Ignatius would call “the movements of the spirits.” Sometimes we haunch everything on our backs and forge through forgetting to pay attention to God’s moving with us. 

Pause from the busyness. We think in the clutter or even distress of situations that we have “no time” or “no energy” to pause. This is a lie the false spirit tells us and we tell ourselves. The pausing reignites the time and energy allowing a moment of consideration. The pause gives conscious attention and  awareness that God is present. This is the essence of prayer.

Saint Mother Teresa said:

I used to pray that God would feed the hungry, or do this or that, but now I pray that he will guide me to do whatever I’m supposed to do, what I can do. … I used to believe that prayer changes things, but now I know that prayer changes us and we change things.

Pausing allows room for the prayer. As a Spiritual Director, I invite my directees to create a pattern of prayer in their lives that allows for an awareness that this change is happening.

Ponder

In letting our minds ruminate through our lives we become more aware of the graces as they appear . This is one reason that the Examen prayer is so important. The Examen gives us a frame to explore our hardness and resistances. The Examen allows us the freedom to ponder anywhere!

Give it time and look around inside of yourself. When we are softened and opened, we have the flexibility to ruminate on things looking around to see what has been laid out for us in our inner and outer life. Pondering begins the receiving of the graces God has for us.

In this pondering, list what makes you grateful. What are you thankful for? List the small things and the big things. The gratitude allows the pondering to widen and deepen.

 Receive

Invite your heart to open to receive the graces that God has given to you. Sometimes we block these graces for various reasons. Commonly, we feel as though we are not worthy of the graces that God gives us. Remind yourself that the voices of worthlessness are not the voice of God. They are the voice of the false spirit. 

Both St. Augustine and St. Ignatius say something in their writings like work like all is depended on you,  but pray like it’s all depended on God. As modern people I find that too often we get lost in the first part of this statement and forget the second all together. It’s hard to RECEIVE when we are living stuck in the belief that it’s a dog eat dog world and we have to fight for what we want and need!

We cannot earn grace. It is freely given. The posture of humility is required to receive. I find myself actively quieting my fight so that I can receive.

Review

Review your prayer and your life. This is the great benefit of St. Ignatius’ Examen prayer. The Examen gives us a method to notice the graces offered to us and to receive the grace in our lives. Consider including this practice in your life. 

I invite you to pause, to ponder, to reflect, and to review this week.  Open your hands and soften your heart.

If one of your kindred is in need in any community in the land which the LORD, your God, is giving you, you shall not harden your heart nor close your hand against your kin who is in need. Instead, you shall freely open your hand and generously lend what suffices to meet that need.  Deuteronomy 15:7-8

Go Deeper?

Pray with an audio guide through the Examen here.
For prayer resources for young people, including an Examen for young people, visit Stephanie’s resource page here.
Do you need an evening of hope? A reminder that you CAN anchor your life in God’s firm foundation and INCREASE YOUR HOPE, even in the midst of steady, shifting winds? Join me for Living Anchored in Shifting Winds: A Live Virtual Evening of Reflection with Bellarmine Jesuit Retreat Center, Tuesday, September 29, 6:30 pm to 9:30 pm (Central Time).

Photo by Issac Quesada on Unsplash.

 

Gathering the Graces: The Grace to See What God Sees

This month’s blog series is “Gathering the Graces”.  St. Ignatius invites us to ask God for a grace each time we pray. This month, blog contributors will share stories about the graces God has given them and where God is leading them.

I knew the drawstring pulls on my window blinds were wearing thin. One string was dangling loose, and the other strand was precariously twisted around the first. One night I came home late in the evening, and without thinking I pulled on the cord to lower the blinds. Much to my surprise, the entire window covering came crashing to the floor! It was well past dark, and looking out to the city street, I was suddenly aware that the entire neighborhood could now see through my front window. My cluttered coffee table, the half-folded load of laundry on the couch, my beloved pottery collection – all there for the world to see. 

The pandemic has not been easy for any of us. It certainly has been more challenging for some people than others! Taking the blinders off, or perhaps watching them come crashing down to the floor, seems like a fitting image. What truly exists on the inside is shining forth for all to see, whether our hearts are filled with faith and trust, or a bit of impatience and frustration. In the darkness of fear and uncertainty, what is on the inside becomes highly visible to everyone on the outside. 

Here is what I’ve noticed gleaming from the insides of others:  

I see generosity. A friend of mine is a technology recruiter who has an eye for effective resumes and an ear for strong interviews. He offered free coaching sessions for anyone who had lost their job. Another friend, an actor in New York, regularly posts this message on social media, “I know some of you are making tough choices about which bills to pay. If you’re barely getting by, send me your Venmo, no questions asked.” When I see generosity, I pray, “God give me the grace to be generous with my gifts.” 
I see creativity. A vibrant local parish is known for its radical hospitality, inspiring liturgy, and outreach to the community. What they have brought to life is truly inspirational! Community members are inviting friends over as they live stream Mass on big screen TVs in their backyards, while small group ministries are taking place via Zoom. I see parishes hosting online retreats, virtual choir concerts, and more! When I see creativity, I pray, “God give me the grace to imagine new ways of engaging in ministry.”
I see community. With no place to go, people are free to build community right where they are. On my evening walks, I see neighbors gathered on their porches and picnic blankets spread out on front lawns. A local cellist has been offering free concerts in the park, and elsewhere I stumble across a spontaneous frisbee toss. All these activities strive to obey appropriate physical distancing, while meeting that deep desire for connection that we all crave. When I see community, I pray, “God give me the grace to be welcoming to others.”   
I see compassion. I am lucky to work for an amazing family-friendly Catholic organization. Never have our values been tested further than when we are ALL working from home, especially working parents who are also overseeing remote schooling. I see colleagues regularly checking in with one another, adapting to flexible schedules, and we laugh when children and pets become a welcome distraction to online meetings. When I see compassion, I pray, “God give me the grace to understand another’s pain and struggle.” 

I am grateful to catch a glimpse of God’s mercy through friends and neighbors who have exhibited incredible generosity and compassion. At the same time, none of us can be blind to the many social inequities and injustices that have come to light during this time. There are countless stories I wish I didn’t have to see, but I ask God for the grace to allow me to see these things, too.   

 I see hunger. It might surprise you to learn that when schools are closed children go hungry! Thousands of kids who receive free or reduced lunch, are not only missing out on the educational benefits of being in school, but they are at risk of losing out on a healthy meal in the middle of the day. Kids learn better when their stomachs are full. The COVID pandemic has released a wave of hunger, and its ripple effects extend far beyond the borders of our own country. When I see hunger, I pray, “God give me the courage to advocate for families who are most at risk of going hungry.” 
I see injustice. I wish I could un-see incidents of police brutality and racial inequities. I am learning more about systemic racism through the eyes of Black writers and authors. I recognize my lack of awareness of racial injustice, and I try not to let the sting of shame dampen my desire to do better and engage in difficult conversation. As I listen to the experiences of my Black colleagues, I’m able to name things I was taught as a child which I now know were ill-informed or wrong. When I see injustice, I pray, “God, give me to grace to sit with my own discomfort, and show me what actions I am called to take.”  

The graces of these past months bring joy and evoke challenge. I ask myself, “Who do I want to be on the inside? How do I want my faith to shine forth?” In Psalm 139 the psalmist proclaims, “Darkness is not dark for you, and night shines as the day. Darkness and light are but one.” God sees it all as grace! God is always creating. God is always extending mercy. God is always renewing and restoring God’s people. 

After the pandemic hit, it took a few weeks for my eyes to adjust to seeing my way through the dark. I am grateful for what God’s grace has revealed, and I am more attune to the challenges that we all face.  

What graces, what goodness, and what challenges has God brought to light for you during this time? 

Go Deeper?

St. Ignatius teaches us that love ought to show itself in deeds over words, and that love is communicated by sharing our gifts, holding nothing back.  https://www.ignatianspirituality.com/ignatian-prayer/the-spiritual-exercises/ignatius-three-part-vision/ 

Photo by Tumisu on Pixabay.

 

Gathering the Graces: Good Grief

This month’s blog series is “Gathering the Graces”.  St. Ignatius invites us to ask God for a grace each time we pray. This month, blog contributors will share stories about the graces God has given them and where God is leading them.

 Flies appeared out of nowhere, black, confused.  Six buzzed, anxious behind my kitchen sink as I filled the electric kettle for pour-over coffee.  As water came to a boil, I began shooing them out of the kitchen toward the balcony door.  Steam rose. Thoughts swirled.  At least a dozen more flies were creeping around the sliding screen door.  Unexpected tears welled up.  All I could think was “Good Grief!” 

Thus began a challenging weekend.

You may be surprised to be reading about a fly invasion and grief when our September “Into the Deep” theme is “Gathering the Graces.”   “Grace” is a typical translation from the Greek word charis, frequently used in the letters of St. Paul, that we typically understand to mean unmerited gifts or favors from God. In this context, perhaps St. Ignatius is a bit audacious when he instructs us to ask for the grace we seek.  However, these Saints also know we can trust God to provide what we actually need in the form and sufficient measure to serve us best.  These days as I pray through my Examen desiring to notice God’s presence through attending to my feelings, I sometimes struggle to receive and give thanks for all things as gifts when they come with a powerful undertow of grief and sadness.

A round of emotional tug-of-war started the day before the flies. I had trouble falling asleep. After a restless night I knew I was tired, but had not yet identified the depth of my sadness.  Flies materialized hour after hour. I continued to execute my counter-invasion strategy.  They were attracted to the light, so I partially closed the curtains to draw them toward the door.

As the day passed, I tried sticking to my weekend routines – prayer, laundry, cooking, ‘stopping by Amazon’ to purchase a few household items – but I couldn’t get myself down seven floors and outside for a walk.  I had a growing awareness of a vulnerability-driven anxiety vibrating at increasing speed.  Normally kept safely tucked away, I began to feel a bit like the 1940 Tacoma Narrows Bridge wobbling toward collapse (watch here).

A simplistic explanation in freshman engineering classes is that the bridge collapsed because of forced harmonic resonance.  More precisely, “moderate winds produced aeroelastic flutter that was self-exciting and unbounded.”  Without a “negative damping factor” the amplitude of the oscillation continuously increased until the bridge dramatically collapsed. 

I thought the fly-crisis was over that evening, but it was only the sun going down. They were back full force Sunday morning.  One moment while escorting the files outside the sun illuminated their true colors.  Iridescent blue and green bodies shimmered with aeroelastic flutter, desperate for release. 

Those who have crossed a grief bridge know that the journey is unpredictable.  Like agitating trapped flies, just a little nudge left unattended has the power to amplify our emotions to debilitating levels leading to collapse. 

Francis Weller, in the preface to his book, Wild Edge of Sorrow:  Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief, identifies “two primary sins of Western Civilization:  amnesia and anesthesia – we forget and we go numb.  These two sins account for an amazing range of sorrow.” (p. xx).  Weller suggests, 

For the most part, grief is not a problem to be solved, not a condition to be medicated, but a deep encounter with an essential part of being human.  Grief becomes problematic when the conditions needed to help us work with grief are absent.  For example, when we are forced to carry our sorrow in isolation, or when the time needed to fully metabolize the nutrients of a particular loss is denied, and we are pressured to return to “normal” too soon.  We are told to “get on with it” and “get over it.”  The lack of courtesy and compassion surrounding grief is astonishing, reflecting an underlying fear and mistrust of this basic human experience.  (pp.xvii-xix)

We are experiencing a great deal of death and dying during this pandemic, without the usual support.  Death of loved ones we can’t properly mourn.  Former ways of working, schooling and communicating are passing away daily.  At times like these the ‘enemy of our human nature’ wants to leverage the separation, making the darkness attractive, tempting us to despair, tricking us into thinking social-distancing is the same as physical, unduly separating us from receiving support from others.  Others are deceived into thinking the pandemic has come to end and we can return to business as usual.

Grace allows me to name my grief, and acknowledge my reliance on faith in these unprecedented times. Weller proposes that “We must restore the healing ground of grief.  We must find the courage, once again, to walk its wild edge” (p.xix).   While we understand charis as a free gift from God, the word also has implications of power.  Praying for grace is also praying for spiritual power.  I continue to pray for the grace and power of fortitude.

Grace sometimes only appears in the smallest of ways when held in grief’s tight grasp, but it allows me to continue to pray, in search of perspective and goodness.  When black flies turn up again, I will take a deep breath, draw the curtains for a time, patiently shoo their anxious, buzzing bodies towards the light, and bless their hidden beauty carried away in the breeze.

May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who has loved us and given us everlasting encouragement and good hope through his grace, encourage your hearts and strengthen them in every good deed and word. (2 Thessalonians 2:16-17)

Go Deeper?

Other authors helpful for discovering graces within grief and sorrow include artist and poet Jan Richardson (newest book Sparrow: A Book of Life and Death and Life) and Duke theologian Kate Bowler (find on Facebook or read Everything Happens for a Reason and Other Lies I’ve Loved)
Though his book and app,  Reimagining the Examen App, Fr. Mark Thibodeaux, S.J., offers creative adaptations for different life circumstances.
For considerations of how we might respond upon receiving grace, see chapter five of Relational Grace: The Reciprocal and Binding Covenant of Charis, by Brent J. Schmidt, https://www.byunewtestamentcommentary.com/pauls-use-of-the-word-grace/

Photo by Trevor McGowan on Unsplash.

 

Gathering the Graces: When Human Words Fail

This month’s blog series is “Gathering the Graces”.  St. Ignatius invites us to ask God for a grace each time we pray. This month, blog contributors will share stories about the graces God has given them and where God is leading them.

One night in mid-August, I walked into my twins’ room to find them sleeping head to head with an ipad lying across their faces. It was a sight to behold. 

This sight was especially meaningful to me because this is how they slept when they were still inside of me waiting to be born (sans iPad, of course). Head to head, hearts resting close. They stayed in that position for so many months of my pregnancy that the sides of their heads were a little flat and fit together like puzzle pieces for the first few months of their lives outside the womb. Instinctively, their heads would float back together every time they were placed in the same bouncy seat. Head to head, hearts resting close. 

It had been a long time since I saw them lying in that position. In fact, over the past few months, I felt like they were always warring with each other. Instead of heads fitting together as two perfect puzzle pieces, they were often using their heads as battering rams both figuratively and literally. But that particular night, they were worn out. Perhaps they were tired of fighting. Perhaps they were instinctively longing for the closeness they once shared for months on end.

That night, they put aside their disagreements and the strain of the past few months and cuddled together in bed, warm comforters drawn up to their necks, watching movies on an ipad held up by two little arms. As they watched, the arms slowly grew more and more tired until they finally gave in and let the iPad come to rest right plop on their faces. Moments later, I quietly entered their room and removed the iPad prepared to coax them back into their own beds. But before I moved them apart, I found myself pausing just to look at them. 

Head to head, hearts resting close. A perfect display of love.

As we enter the Fall season of this mixed up year, it feels like everything is falling apart at the seams. We are swept up into a world where we doubt each other’s dignity, where we doubt each other’s worth as a precious child of God. Pulled apart by rules of social distancing and masks upon our faces, we are struggling for how to effectively communicate with one another. Like twins cooped up for way too long, we are letting our minds become like battering rams instead of perfectly fitting puzzle pieces. And our hearts feel distant.

As I contemplated this month’s theme of “Gathering the Graces,” I honestly struggled to put into words what exactly I was asking from God and what God was giving me in return. I spent days contemplating what it was that God was showing me in the messiness of this time. In the end, I found myself praying for grace that I couldn’t put into words. 

Despite my inability to name the exact thing I was searching for, God answered the request found deep in my heart through the sight of two little boys head to head, hearts lying close. God reminded me that it is okay for me not to be able to put into human words specifically what I seek. God just cares that I showed up and asked for help. In the end, I still can’t qualify the grace God gave me in that moment with a word like “hope” or “joy” or “light” or “perspective”. It does not seem to have a clear name. And that bothered me as I received it. But now, as I reflect on it to share it with you, I feel compelled to give you the truth: Sometimes the grace God gives us is simply a feeling. A moment where you have come to prayer empty and God has read the depths of you anyway. A moment where you can almost feel God right there. Head to head with you, hearts lying close. 

 

Go Deeper?

When the words are hard to come up with and we’re struggling to express what we’re asking God for, the Holy Spirit comes to our side. Consider praying with Romans 8:26-27.

Photo by LorileeAlanna on Pixabay. 

 

Gathering the Graces: A Pandemic of Graces

This month’s blog series is “Gathering the Graces”.  St. Ignatius invites us to ask God for a grace each time we pray. This month, blog contributors will share stories about the graces God has given them and where God is leading them.

I suppose the word of the year is “pandemic”. The dictionary describes a pandemic as “an occurrence affecting persons over a wide area, such as a continent or the entire world.  Yep. That’s exactly what we are experiencing.  Our state has been in quarantine since mid-March.  During this time, I have been saddened by stories of many being ill or dying alone, supply shortages, loss of jobs, social and racial injustices, feeling helpless, separation from family and faith community.  Even though I’ve been spared from the Coronavirus, at times I felt scared and overwhelmed.  My prayer has been “Lord, bring us all through this.”  

When things really get bad, my prayer changes to “Lord, where are you in this?”  God answered my question by giving me insights and graces.  So many graces in fact, that I’m calling it a pandemic of graces.  These realized graces were gifts to me, but I know we all have been experiencing them – locally, nationally, globally.  If we can experience a viral pandemic, it seems fit that our generous God would make God’s  presence known to us in a graced pandemic.    Here are some of the many graces God has given me in these past months.  What graces have you received?

The grace of Hope

During our quarantine, two of my friends became grandmothers for the first time.  They were disappointed that they could not be present when their grandchildren were born, but were thrilled nonetheless.  I congratulated them, but all the while I kept wondering what kind of life these babies will have, growing up in such uncertain times.  It was then that God’s grace came to me.  These babies are our hope for a better world.  They will have opportunities and choices to make things better.  These are two new lives born with the possibility to carry us forward.  This gave me hope. 

 The grace of Connection

When I was bemoaning the fact that I could not be with my family and friends, God reminded me that I actually had family and friends a phone call away. God also showed me that I had another family I could pray for and empathize with. It was the broadest sense of family, one that encompassed the entire world.  There were others in a similar situation, some in more dire circumstances, but we were all bound by our vulnerability to the virus and to the effects of injustice.  We all had a human spirit that longed to connect and survive.  We are all God’s creation no matter where we are on this earth.  And so I began to watch the news reports from around the world with my global family in mind and felt the grace of being in touch with other souls around the world.  This made me feel connected. 

The grace of Compassion

As I spent more days at home with most of what I needed and wanted, God made me aware of those who had nothing, were unemployed, unwelcome, marginalized.  It stirred in me a sense of thanksgiving, but also a desire to balance the inequalities and prejudices locally and around the world.  I take for granted things that some don’t even have access to.  These times have put me in touch with inequality in medical care, supplies, justice.  I am coming to understand there are many ways of being an activist for positive change.  First, I must educate myself to the problems at hand, then be a listener so others feel heard.  The grace of compassion  can go a long way in promoting positive radical change.  

The grace of Being Part of God’s Creation

In Louisiana, we usually go from a mild winter straight into a sweltering summer.  This year, spring actually happened.  The days were bright and beautiful with cool breezes and low humidity.  The birds were out in droves.  The flowers were blooming.  Neighbors were getting reacquainted (while wearing masks).  My husband and I spent lots of time in our backyard.  The more I was outside, the more I felt I was part of God’s creation.  I saw how unique I was, just like each flower, each bird, (each mosquito).  I felt I belonged to something much bigger than myself.  And the best thing was that unlike the inanimate objects of nature, I could have a relationship with my creator.  I could actually listen and speak to God.  This was the grace of being part of God’s creation.   

There were so many more graces given to me just during these last few months, humility, silence, patience.  But the best grace of all is knowing that in spite of the sadness and hardships of this virus pandemic, God is with us, sending us a pandemic of graces.     

 

The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.   John 1:5

 

Gathering the Graces: My Basket of Graces

This month’s blog series is “Gathering the Graces”.  St. Ignatius invites us to ask God for a grace each time we pray. This month, blog contributors will share stories about the graces God has given them and where God is leading them.

Name the grace you seek.

Several years ago, before Becky and I really knew each other, I was a retreatant on a preached Ignatian retreat she was facilitating. As we gathered for our first talk, she invited us to close our eyes and said, “Now name the grace you seek.”

I immediately opened my eyes baffled and, in my head, said: Name the grace I seek? Isn’t grace a gift from God? How can I name my own gift from God? Why doesn’t anyone else seem confused? Why am I so confused? Do I not know what grace really means?

While I may not have been able to name the graces I sought on that retreat, God provided me with more than I could ever have the time to list! Clarity and understanding are two graces I can usually count on from any retreat I attend, even if it did take time to be able to name them as graces. God does not just give us graces during a retreat though, God gives us graces every day, we just have to take the time to be with God to notice them.

Over the last several months I’ve prayed a lot for the graces of patience and clarity. COVID-19 has turned our world upside down and all my perfectly laid out plans were thrown out of the window with the sheltering in place we’ve done over the last six months. While I love my family dearly, I’ve prayed for the grace of patience since we’ve spent so much time together. Simple tasks take much longer with interruptions to break up arguments, make snacks, and to take another bathroom break while potty training our toddler. I’ve prayed for the grace of clarity to help better understand what our next right step-big and small- is during a time of so much unknown. Is it safe to let the kids see our parents? Do we continue with distance learning or do we send the kids back to school? Is it okay to go out to eat inside a restaurant?

But just like on that retreat, the grace I’ve been given that took a long time to name is the grace of courage. At the end of my July spiritual direction session, my director asked me, “What grace are you going to pray for during the next month?” Without a second thought “courage” fell out of my mouth. My shock was not well hidden! I told my director I had never asked for the grace of courage. She said and I agreed it must be a sign from the Holy Spirit.

Looking back over the year, and stretching back to November, God has given me the grace of courage time and time again. When complications from a routine surgery left my Dad very sick, I had the courage to make difficult decisions about his care. God gave me courage to tell my brother on the phone as he was getting off the airplane that our Dad was dying. God has given me courage as I walk the long and uncertain road of grief.

God has given me courage to accept the uncertainties we are facing as a result of COVID-19. God has given me courage as I continue to ask myself hard questions about what I can do to help with the racial injustices our Black brothers and sisters are facing. God has also given me courage to write and share my thoughts with others on the Into the Deep and NOLA Catholic Parenting blogs.

When I think and pray about the graces I have received from God, I imagine myself alone in a forest carrying a giant brown basket. In my imagination, I am standing there simply in awe of the graces and gifts God has given me. Inside the basket are all the graces God has given me over the years. Even though the basket is big it is not heavy. There actually seems to be a lightness each time I add another grace. In prayer I smiled as I added the grace of courage to my basket. Like many other graces before, God had already given me the grace of courage, it just took time for me to name it.

What graces has God given you? What graces will you ask God for in prayer?

 

 

Go deeper?

Seeking to increase courage in your life?  Pray with this list of scriptures on courage. 

Take the courageous leap and join us for Overwhelmed No More! Today starts the first week, so take your jump to register now!

Photo by Yasin Hosgor on unsplash.

 

Gathering the Graces: Your Grace is Enough for Me

This month’s blog series is “Gathering the Graces”.  St. Ignatius invites us to ask God for a grace each time we pray. This month, blog contributors will share stories about the graces God has given them and where God is leading them.

This month, our Into the Deep topic is “Gathering the Graces.” As I attempt to name the graces I have received and gathered since January, the last two lines of Ignatius’s Suscipe prayer (su’-she-pay) come to mind: 

Give me only your love and your grace .

That is enough for me.

I have to wonder – what is grace, and how do I know if I’ve received it? In his book Addiction and Grace: Love and Spirituality in the Healing of Addictions, Gerald May, M.D. says “Grace is the active expression of God’s love” (120). Dr. May’s definition helps me to identify the many graces in my life. Spending time in prayer allows me to see moments when God actively loved me, or to say it another way – gifted me with grace.

I felt God’s grace when a difficult relationship began to improve. I saw God’s grace when I sat in my backyard reveling in the beauty of nature all around me. I knew God’s grace on the day God said to me in prayer, “Be patient with yourself.” Too many times to count, I have been overcome by grace as I held or played with my sweet grandchildren. 

In all those moments, I was receiving God’s love, in fact, I was receiving God’s graces. I didn’t do anything to earn those graces. I didn’t deserve those graces, but God gave them to me anyway. That begs the question, how do we pray for graces?

In Becky Eldredge’s book The Inner Chapel, she writes, “Name the grace you seek…After placing yourself in the presence of God, simply go to God with the question, ‘What is the grace I seek?’…Notice what arises in your mind and heart.’” 

To expand on what might happen as you pray for a grace, let’s return to the graces that I recalled receiving earlier this year. I mentioned that a difficult relationship has begun to improve. That relationship has been on my mind during every prayer period (and even those times when I wasn’t praying) for many months. The change in the relationship has been gradual, but it is significantly better, less stressful, more loving. Those changes have given me hope and a fresh perspective. Definitely sounds like grace, doesn’t it?

Sitting on my deck noticing the beauty all around me has been a consolation in these months of sheltering-at-home. When I prayed for an end to the pandemic and a return to normalcy, God gave me the grace to rest in the beautiful confines of my own backyard.

Hearing God gently remind me to be patient with myself came unexpectedly when I was praying a novena for others and in the silence, between petitions, God graced me by noticing me! Reminding me that I too am loved.

Every day, all the time, I pray for the health, safety, faith, and well-being of my children and grandchildren. If I take time to notice, I see God’s grace in their smiles, frowns, hugs, temper-tantrums, laughter, and constant motion.

Reflect again on Becky’s advice to place ourselves in the presence of God and pay attention to what comes to our minds and hearts. This is the key to prayer. We are each unique and uniquely loved. God speaks to us in our “language.” For example, when God gently interrupted my intercessory prayers to tell me to be patient with myself, He was speaking to me personally about my tendency to be hard on myself. 

The grace we receive is specific to our individual needs as well as to our specific gifts. Imagine the person with a gift to listen well so that others feel accepted and loved, but who is struggling with loneliness during this time of reduced social interaction. When she prays for the grace to feel less isolated, God might very simply remind her to use her gift to call someone who needs her listening ear.  

We don’t have to wait for the BIG moments. Not at all! By paying attention, we will clearly see God’s grace in thousands of little ways. 

How appropriate Ignatius’s words from the Suscipe are when we see God’s grace in our lives. We can sincerely pray, “God, give me your love and your grace. That is enough for me.” 

Where have you seen God’s grace this year?

JOIN ME!   Overwhelmed No More: A 6 Week Retreat in Daily Life

This unique online discernment retreat, based on the Spiritual Exercises of Saint Ignatius of Loyola, provides an individual retreat experience within a virtual community of faith.

We’ll begin this community journey on September 7th and finish on October 16th.  The weekly content is self-paced, so you will be able to jump in easily after Labor Day if that works better for you!  I hope you will join me!

Photo by Robert Katzki on unsplash. 

Gathering the Graces

This month’s blog series is “Gathering the Graces”.  St. Ignatius invites us to ask God for a grace each time we pray. This month, blog contributors will share stories about the graces God has given them and where God is leading them.

This past week was a reminder of how much I need God’s grace as Louisiana braced for two hurricanes.  Thankfully, Marco dissipated before making landfall.  Laura hit the Southwestern part of Louisiana very hard.   One way God’s grace becomes a reality is when we come together to support our neighbors.  I am partnering with several parishes in the Diocese of Baton Rouge to offer support for those impacted by Hurricane Laura.  Please visit the Helping Hands for Laura page to learn concrete ways we can help with immediate needs in Louisiana.    

Grace plays a key role in our spiritual lives. What the heck is grace, though? I feel it is often a word that is thrown around without a clear understanding of what it means. We even sing amazing grace like we know what it means, but do we understand that grace is the building block of our present lives?  

In our spiritual lives, grace is the way God reveals God’s self to us. It allows us to come to new understandings and insights about: 

God
Jesus
Holy Spirit
Scripture
Our Salvation History 
Our Faith
Ourselves
Others
Our Sins
Our Disordered Attachments
Our Gifts
Our Call 

Grace is a deep infinite well that continues to invite us to explore new depths of our faith.  Its existence is what propels us into new horizons in our relationship with God.  

Naming the Grace I Seek: 

St. Ignatius invites us to name the grace we seek at the start of every prayer time.  Naming the grace we seek allows us to get in touch with what God might be offering us to learn more about.  

Here is how we can do this at the beginning of each prayer time: 

Place yourself in the presence of God. 
Ask God: What is the grace I seek?    
Notice what word arises within you.   It might be something such as rest, peace, clarity, courage, hope, light, love. 
 When a word arises in your thoughts, turn this into a prayer.  God as I begin, I seek the grace of _____.    

Gathering the Graces: 

St. Ignatius invites us to look back on our prayer, our week(s) and when we end a retreat to gather the graces God generously poured into us.  I often invite people to “gather the graces” by reflecting on these questions: 

What graces did you receive?
What are you thankful for? 
When did you experience consolation? 
When did you experience desolation?   
What do you now know that you didn’t understand before?  (About God, yourself, your call, others, etc.?)

Praying for the Graces to Deepen Within Us: 

Once we have named the graces God gave us, it is important to pray for the graces to deepen in us.  We want the graces given to us to stay, to become part of who we are, and to transform us.  

God’s generosity cannot be outdone.  We will continue to receive grace upon grace as God invites us to new depths for the entirety of our lives.  

An Invitation: Gather Your Graces

This coming month, the Into the Deep writers gather the graces of their lives.  They will share what God is revealing to them.  

I invite you to do the same.  

As you look back on the past months or weeks, during this unexpected time of our lives, what are the graces you received?  What might God be revealing to you in light of what you named? 

JOIN ME!   Overwhelmed No More: A 6 Week Retreat in Daily Life

This unique online discernment retreat, based on the Spiritual Exercises of Saint Ignatius of Loyola, provides an individual retreat experience within a virtual community of faith.

We’ll begin this community journey on September 7th and finish on October 16th.  The weekly content is self-paced, so you will be able to jump in easily after Labor Day if that works better for you!  I hope you will join me!

 

Go Deeper? 

Gather the graces of your last months using the “Sense-Making” Prayer Guide created by Becky Eldredge and Stephanie Clouatre Davis



Book recommendations on Grace from our Into the Deep Writers: 

A New Look at Grace by Bill Heubsch 
Naming Grace: Preaching and the Sacramental Imagination   by Mary Catherine Hilkert, OP. 
The Quotidian Mysteries: Laundry, Liturgy, and “Women’s Work” by Kathleen Norris
Amazing Grace: A Vocabulary of Faith by Kathleen Norris
Circle of Grace  by Jan Richardson
To Bless the Space Between Us by John O’Donohue
Devotions by Mary Oliver
Rilke’s Book of Hours: Love Poems to God by Rainer Maria Rilke
God’s Voice Within by Mark Thibodeaux, S.J.
Reimagining the Ignatian Examen by Mark Thibodeaux, S.J.

Photo by Artem Kovalev on unsplash.