Ajit Panicker's Blog, page 3

How to manage office gossips?

Do you know how to manage office gossips? We will see how we can. First, read the conversation below.

“Ashish, do you know what happened last night, at the quarterly party?”

“No man. I
wasn’t there. I had to leave home early yesterday.”

“Dude. What a
ruckus? That Tarun, he spilled out everything in front of the Regional Head,
after a couple of drinks. He is going to get kicked out soon.”

And they started
laughing at Tarun’s miserable situation.

Have you been part of any such conversation in your office
anytime?

I am sure you would have. Such conversations are so much a part
of our day to day job, that we hardly can avoid them. Isn’t it?

But haven’t you felt affected? I doubt you wouldn’t have.

These conversations as we all know are called gossips.

So before I get on whether office gossips are good, bad or hardly affect individuals or teams, let me quote what Wikipedia says what gossip is.

According to Wikipedia, gossip is idle talk or rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of others.

And that is what precisely most of us think gossip means.

But according to researchers and human resource experts like Mary Gormandy White, gossip can be identified as a conversation happening between two or more people that stops as soon as a third unknown person enters their zone.

It may not necessarily be negative. It can be positive or neutral.

Today with this blog post, I am going to highlight the what, why, who and how of gossips.

What are the types of gossips?Why do people gossip?Who gets affected?What benefits or harm do they cause? How to avoid gossips, if harmful?



Have you ever thought, why people love gossiping?

Let me tell you.

A study revealed that most of us spend almost an hour a day gossiping. Now the question is whether it is useful, harmful or neutral. Even if it is neutral we have to reflect upon us as to whether any of our productive work hours are being wasted or not.

Let us consider, we work for nine hours every day (because that is a standard here in India and most of the Asian countries, unlike many European countries) how many hours at a stretch can we work with full attention and focus.

According to a time-management technique called Pomodoro technique, if you break down all your job tasks, however, complex they may be into blocks of 25 minutes each, with a 5 minutes break, you tend to become more efficient and productive.

Going by this technique your focused attention span is roughly about 25 minutes and if you work at a stretch for 2-3 hours or more you are bound to get bored. What will you do if you stretch yourself longer at work? You may tend to take a long break. Long breaks mean longer gossips.

So we gossip because of the below reasons:



The monotony of the job: So the monotony and the boredom that would arise out of stretched hours of work would give you a reason to get out of it. And the easiest way is to chat, get into gossip.Prove your mettle: Many times we get into gossip because we want to prove a point on a topic. And while doing that, we enjoy belittling others. Jealousy of others talent: Many get into gossip because they are not able to take other’s success, talents, and appreciation, positively and so by hurting them, they feel better.To be part of the office group: You cannot isolate yourself in an office. You would get judged as a loner. So to be part of the office you want to become part of all such gossip groups, at least in one of them.To bond with others: You are facing some personal problems and want to come out of the stress. To do so, you engage in a chat that turns into gossip. But many times you get a lot of encouragement and confidence, often ideas on how to overcome the personal problem which you were facing.To know the latest in office: Being part of an office gossip group is important for a few people. It helps them get information about things happening in an organization because everything does not come as a formal communication from the human resource team. The grapevine helps you to know a lot that is happening around, informally through gossips.



What are the types of gossips?



Bonding Gossip: It is a type of gossip that helps people bond and come closer to each other. Often topics of common interests are discussed in this kind of gossip.Social Gossip: This gossip type is basically to socialize by spending time together talking of anything that comes up during the chat.Information gossip: This kind of gossip has information about something happening or about to happen in the office. It has traveled from different places and groups within the organization and has reached you. Cultural gossip: It contains ways of working or existing in a particular culture of the office. The pros and cons of the culture the office runs through its veins.Image comment gossip: This is a very common gossip type where people negatively comment and belittle people, mostly on their appearance and image.Anti-social gossip: This involves discussions that have elements that can disturb the social setting of the office. It often divides people into multiple small groups.

Now we know why people gossip and what are the different types of gossips.

Let us now understand, 

How to identify and differentiate between beneficial and harmful gossip?

To do that, let me give you some examples:

“Hey Ashish, how is
this guy Tarun to you?”

“He is such a dog,
dude. My experience with him has been really bad.”

“And why will he not
behave and throw his tantrums at us. That idiot is one of the closest
confidantes of the boss. But, have you seen him dress up?”

“Oh yes, he looks as
if he lives in one of those slums in the outskirts. He is always so shabbily
dressed.”

What kind of gossip is this?

I am sure you would have realized it is a negative
gossip. It is an image comment gossip or a jealously filled gossip or a feel
superior gossip.

Another example,

“Hey Ashish, are you
coming for a tea-break?”

“I have some urgent
work to finish. The deadline is an hour.”

“Come on man. You
are always on time. The world will not end if you don’t adhere to the deadline
once in a while.”

“Ok.. fine. I’ll
come along.”

At the cafeteria,

“Did you come to
know of the layoffs going on in the company?”

“Yes, man. Someone
told me yesterday.”

“So you already know
this. It is such a disaster man. These people at the top don’t realize our
value. They are only concerned about their profits.”

“That’s true, man.”

And the conversation goes on for a good twenty minutes.

What do you think of this gossip?

It was an information gossip but wasn’t this negative?

Yes, it was, although it was providing important
information.

Another example,

“Hey Ashish, let’s
catch up in the lunch break.”

“Sure man.”

And the lunch break
is of one hour.

“Hey, did you see
the match yesterday? It was such a rocking match. New Zealand had almost won it
but what a disastrous end for them.”

“Yes, man. They are
slowly turning into chokers doing this quite often. They have taken almost six
matches into a super-over and have lost all of them.”

“What are your plans
for the weekend?”

“Me… I am thinking of taking my family to the Madam Tussaud’s museum at Connaught place. It has been quite some time since we have been on an outing.”

“Great. We may go
for that movie coming up, at the weekend, Tanhaji. Reviews say it is a great
watch.”

The chat goes on for
a good forty minutes. Was it gossip?

Was it a negative
one?

No, it wasn’t a negative gossip. It was bonding gossip. So you can identify, differentiate and hence deal with gossip if you know how to.

The below-listed ways can help you identify and differentiate between harmful and positive or neutral gossip.



Does the gossip make fun of someone’s misfortune?Is it creating negativity or encouraging conflict?Does it hurt someone emotionally?Is it an unverified fact, about a work situation seemingly a rumor?Is it on something that you already know and have talked about umpteen times?

Who gets affected by the
workplace gossips?

Do only individuals get affected by the office gossip?

No.

People who are subjects of gossip, those participating in gossip, the team they are part of, the department their team belongs to, and the organization as a whole, each one of them gets affected. Read 10 ways to create productive best resources.

Those who were commented upon would come to know of the negative comments they have been remarked by. They may get hurt or feel offended, which may then affect their work and productivity.

Don’t we often hear of such instances at our workplaces?

Those who were part of the gossip group may have wasted their productive work hours. The gossip might have made them miss their deadlines for submitting their work. It could be something that they were supposed to submit on which depended the final delivery of the project. That must have adversely affected.

The team that was supposed to deliver the project missed the deadline because few crucial team members were busy gossiping when it was more important to work on the project.

The project not delivered on time could put the department in a bad light, adversely affecting the organization’s short term or medium-term goal.

How to avoid office gossips that are harmful?



Avoid the gossipers. Learn to walk awayKeep your private and professional life separateConfront the gossiperIdentify if the gossip is harmful or not and accordingly either not be part of it or indulge.Don’t participate in the gossip by refusing to comment on the third person or topic being talked about.Show that you are busy and focused on doing your job tasks. Gossipers want attention. Don’t take every office gossip seriously. It could just be a rumor.Don’t share or spread unverified information to a person you don’t trust. Don’t vent out in front of people you don’t trust.Learn to change the topic of discussion as soon as you realize a gossip is on its way.Turn it around by saying something positive instead of supporting or being neutral to the gossip.In the end, if everything fails, make sure you approach your seniors and share your apprehensions of the ill effects of the gossips doing round.

Harvard Business Review: Antidote to Office Gossip

The post How to manage office gossips? appeared first on World of Words.

How not to be the last-minute manager?

Do you want to know how not to be the last-minute manager?

“Time is really the only capital that any human being has and the only thing he can’t afford to lose” – Thomas Edison

Isn’t it?

But we still keep delaying our tasks to the last-minute.

Why do we delay completing our tasks?

Is it because we are lethargic?

Or

Is it because we are not motivated enough?

Or

Is it because we wish to become the last-minute manager?

Who is the last-minute manager?

A last-minute manager is a person who puts off his tasks to the last minute. Hence he either fails in completing the task and if he does, the quality of the finished job gets affected.

Tell me, if I tell you the reasons why you delay the things
that you are supposed to do, will you be able to change your habit of
procrastination, the habit of delaying the completion of your tasks.

Maybe yes. Maybe not.

All of us have 24 hours at our bay, and the key to succeed
or fail largely depends on how productively we use them.

But before I go ahead any further, let me tell you a story.
This short story is of a man who became successful because of not being the
last-minute manager.

Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam

Who wants an introduction of this great man, the 12th
president and the missile man of India, Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam?

Let me tell you an incident of his life where he felt the need to managing time well and not to be the last-minute manager.

In 1955 Kalam did his aerospace engineering at Madras Institute of Technology. While Kalam was working on a senior class project, the Dean became dissatisfied with his lack of progress and threatened to revoke his scholarship unless he finished the project within the next three days.

Kalam met the deadline, impressing the dean.

But later in life, in one of the speeches, he mentioned how this incident changed his life forever. He highlighted, how accomplished, one can become, by not being the last-minute manager.

He went on serving organizations like ARE, DRDO, and ISRO mentoring and guiding his teams to meet deadlines well on time. It was this very habit of not being the last-minute manager that changed his life forever.

Where are you currently sitting?

Are you in your office?

Yes.

If yes, look around and see who is the most efficient of the
whole lot. Who is the one who is always on time, finishes his tasks, projects,
and deadlines on time? Is he not active in almost every meeting at the office?

Do you know there are few practices this kind of person
follows that every efficient worker should do to be successful?

One of the most important among them being, they do not
procrastinate.

According to Wikipedia, procrastination is the avoidance of doing a task that needs to be accomplished by a certain deadline. It could be further stated as a habitual or intentional delay of starting or finishing a task despite knowing it might have negative consequences.

It is a common human experience involving delay in everyday chores or even putting off salient tasks such as attending an appointment, submitting a job report or academic assignment, or broaching a stressful issue with a partner.

Why do we procrastinate?

Most of us delay starting or finishing or not doing a thing on time majorly because of these reasons:

LazinessToo easy to completeToo difficult to completeNot knowing where to beginThe task is not that important

Isn’t it? Are these not the reasons most of us think because
of which we put off things to a later time?

Most of us think so.

The real reason

But the real reason we put away things for tomorrow or procrastinate is the lack of motivation to do a particular task in the current time than doing it in the future.

Example 1

Let’s say you have to reduce your weight and you know it can be done only if you follow a strict diet plan and exercise regime. Most of those who want to are not able to because they feel they can always start from tomorrow. It is not a one-day affair.

But they don’t realize if they don’t start today at the present time, they will never be able to accomplish what they want to in the future time. So there is a lack of motivation to start because they feel the result will anyways not come in the present time.

Example 2

Now let’s take another example where the action and the result both can happen in the present time, but we still procrastinate. Say if a customer service executive who is supposed to reply as soon as possible to an irate customer doesn’t do it and postpone it to an indefinite period.

What will happen, the annoyed customer will anyways come back to him and that too more irritated now.

In this case, if the customer service executive doesn’t procrastinate and provide the required solution as soon as possible without giving the customer a room to come back to him, the customer will stay calm and satisfied. So the lack of motivation of acting on it in the present time should be replaced with the motivation of reward he would get in the present time, a delighted customer.

“If you want to be more productive, you need to become master of your minutes” – Crystal Paine

And

“Not be the last-minute manager.”

Let us now understand how the last-minute manager shows up at his tasks. I am going to highlight the characteristics of the last-minute manager.

Characteristics of the last-minute manager



The last-minute manager does not plan.He does not work on his Most Important Tasks of the day right at the beginning of the day.Stays without reporting the work assigned to him till the last minute.Makes excuses at the last minute for not completing the assigned task.Always look for external motivation to work than being self-motivated to perform.He does not work on a time-bound basis.Blames other team members for not co-operating to finish the given task.He gets up quite late in the morning, often rushing out of his place in the morning while going to the office.He says yes to everything that comes to him, to avoid displeasing those who gave the task to him. Doesn’t delegate or divide the work, often trying to finish the task all on his own.



Let us now understand how the last-minute manager shows up at his tasks. I am going to highlight the characteristics of the last-minute manager.

Now, that we know, what are the characteristics of the last-minute manager, let me share with you what to do if you don’t want to be the last-minute manager.

Ways of how not to be the last-minute manager



1.     Create a to-do list and a not-to-do list

I am sure you must have heard
about a to-do list. What it means and how helpful it is if you want to finish
your tasks on time. Make a broad to-do list for the day, at least a day in
advance. If you cannot do that, a day before, do it first thing in the morning.

At the same time, prepare a
not-to-do list also. A list that you will follow, come what may. This is the
list of all distractions that can stop you or derail you from your task.

2.    
Categorize the to-do list

Once you have created the list of
to-do things, make sure to categorize them based on their priority to get
finished. You can either use an A-B-C or 1-2-3 categorization method. Try
completing the tasks that are at the top priority, the first and thereon.

3.    
Chunking the bigger tasks

Look for bigger tasks, those that
are more time consuming and involves a lot of complex steps. Then divide them
into bite-sized tasks and complete them one at a time. It is always easier to
finish a smaller chunk of the task than a complex task at one go. Easier and
more comfortable you make the process of completing the task, more chances you
have not to become the last-minute manager.

4.    
Setting timelines for every task

Make sure to set timelines for
every task with a specific timeline for even the smallest chunks of each task.
Keeping up to the timelines will give you greater confidence in finishing all
or the maximum number of the tasks of the day.

5.    
Incentivize yourself for every task finished

Make sure to treat yourself to
something you love, every time you finish a task. A break/ a cup of tea or
coffee, a brownie, anything would do.

6.    
Maintain a ledger of the tasks done successfully

Usually, most of us maintain a diary to create a to-do list. We can use the same diary to maintain a ledger of how many tasks we completed out of the total number of tasks we had. This too would give us a sense of achievement and confidence in not becoming the last-minute manager.

7.     Follow the not-to-do list

As I had mentioned in the first
point, make sure to follow the not –to do list unfailingly. Keep yourself away
from distractions like social media, checking unnecessary messages, watching
videos or movies on mobile, mindless browsing on the internet, etc.

8.    
Learn to delegate work both at office and home

You alone can’t finish every task
assigned to you or that you are supposed to do. Identify how many, out of all
the tasks you have, can be assigned to someone around you. He can be your
junior, a colleague or some member of the family.

9.    
Get up early

What I have read and heard about
most of the successful people ever in the world is that they have been early
risers.

You can also change your schedule.
Get up, say just about half an hour before your normal schedule and see your
world, changing like anything.

10. Learn to say no

I am sure most of you reading this post who work for others, often face this problem. Your supervisor often would come up with something that would be urgent and important, and that too anytime during the day. You get compelled to do because you dare not say no to him. This is where you have to learn to politely say no, making him understand the specific reason you are doing so.

I hope with the above ways you can overcome the habit of
procrastination in a big way.

With this post, I am attempting to help you ‘my readers’
understand how you can, avoid being the last-minute manager. But despite this
understanding, the action part dwells on you.

If you have found this post useful and motivating, please
share it with the people it would matter the most.

You can share it with your connections through the various social media buttons available at the bottom of the post.

Top 8 must-read books on procrastination.

The post How not to be the last-minute manager? appeared first on World of Words.

Why should women work even after marriage?

This incident dates back to those days when I was graduating from my MBA program. It was almost towards the end of the two-year program. I vividly remember that day.

All the students who were part of the campus placement team were sitting in the conference room of the college.

While we were discussing how to invite companies to our campus, one of my course mates said, “Why are these girls even appearing for an interview? They will screw our chances of getting through. And then about a year or two later they will get married and leave jobs. Who in their family would allow them to work after marriage?”

I got shocked listening to it and questioned him, “Why do you think so? Why can’t these girls work after marriage?”

One of my other coursemates who was supporting the first one said, “Why? Do you think they are appearing for the interviews to make a career out of it? It is just for their ego satisfaction. Nothing more than that.”

On hearing that, I almost lost my mind and shouted at the whole lot, “Trust me; the actual problem is this narrow mindset. And it is not your fault. Most of the parents in our society ingrain their children with this thought process as they are growing.  A girl child is made to believe all through her life that she will have to be a stay-home woman after marriage. And right from his childhood, a boy’ s mind is impressed with the belief that girls should stay at home. They should not go out to work.”

And I went on lecturing the whole lot who were supporting that sick mentality.

The debate did not end there. One of them, sarcastically said, “Let’s see Ajit, how well do you manage when it comes on you. We too, would like to see whether you allow your wife to work or not? And whether your parents support that or not?”

I didn’t want to lower the flags and hence retorted, “ Why should she even seek permission from me? If she wishes, she will very well work. And, I will not only support her but would also ensure that all others in my family support her.”

And then with few more rounds of debate, speaking against each other, we dispersed.

It has been thirteen years, ever since that day.

And my wife has been working for the last thirteen years.

Not only that, she has been doing exceptionally good. She is currently an Assistant General Manager at IDBI Bank.

Does that not answer all the doubts my coursemates had, years back?

Although that’s a different story that I married the girl I liked in MBA days. We got placed in different companies in the same year and married two years later.

It was not easy. Trust me, in all these years, there have been numerous occasions when one or the other of us had almost given up.

But we held on and supported each other. And when both of us got frustrated, both sides of our parents supported us. Whatever may have been the situation?

Coming back to the reason I am writing this post. Doesn’t this discussion come up often in our families?

Should women work even after marriage?

If yes, why should women work even after marriage?

If you are a man, how many times has this question crossed your mind?

I am sure plenty of times.

I don’t know if you have supported your woman or not. But I am sure after reading this post you will realize a lot about what you have not given a thought before.

If you are a woman, do you think women should work after marriage?

If yes, why should women work after marriage?

With this post, I am going to put before you, all possible reasons I can think of, why should women work even after marriage?

I am going to split this blog post into four parts:

The benefit to the women if they work after marriage.How will it help the children if the woman of the house works after marriage?The advantage to other family members.How will it help society in general if the women work after marriage?



How will it benefit the women?



Independent– She turns a lot more independent if she works after marriage. She would be able to accomplish a lot of work independently outside the home. The man of the house could easily depend on her for chores that only he was supposed to do.Her opinion will get regarded: I have seen men saying to their wife, “What do you know of the outside world? You will not understand.” They speak like this only because they feel the women have not seen the world much. If she works after marriage, her opinion and ideas get regarded. And it is all because she too is experiencing the outside world like the man of the house.She can keep her passions alive- If she works after marriage, she will have her salary to spend. She will be able to shop and do things that would keep her passion alive. If she wants, she can plan things for her people around. That is what financial freedom brings to a woman.Time management becomes better- With her house and office to look after; she will learn how to manage her time more efficiently. Instead of participating in unproductive ladies groups of her society, she would rather focus more on her family after office. She might not have the everyday problems of maids to discuss. But would demonstrate her kids how to manage multiple things in the limited time one has, right from their childhood.Becomes better at managing people- If she works, she will have to be a part of a team. She will have to deal with and manage a variety of people. This, in a way, would help her become better at managing people at home. Be they, the maids, drivers, and cooks or the family members.Her view of the outside world changes- If she works after marriage, her view of the outside world may change. When she is not working she may not realize how difficult it becomes at times, outside the home. If she works, she may better empathize with her husband.She becomes a role model- If she works, the children would see both their parents going to the office. At the same time, they will see her handling the additional responsibility of the house. Unlike the last generation, when we were kids, our kids could grow up idolizing even their mothers. In many cases, they may respect their mother more than they respect their father.She learns to let go of many things: After having a long day at the office herself, she will prefer not indulging in any unnecessary arguments. She will learn to let go of many things. Learns to value the money more- If the woman works after marriage, she learns to value the money more. We all know it is not easy to spend your hard-earned money. Unnecessary expenses reduce. And she spends only in places where it is necessary.Learns gender equality in the real sense- Gender equality is not in demanding equal rights by supporting pseudo-feminism but in earning it earnestly. She would understand it better when she starts working outside the home and competes with other men and women in the corporate world.

How will it benefit the Children?



Her different experiences outside home would significantly help the children- A working mother would get to see the outside world a lot more than the stay home mother. She would gain everyday experiences of interacting, dealing and managing different types of people. Those experiences would help her mentor her children with much broader perspectives on life.Children see and hence learn to manage time better– The children start observing their mother right from their childhood how their mother effectively manages the limited time she has. They will see how she divides the tasks according to priority and delegate them to other members at home and office. They would learn time management in real-time by watching their mother do it almost every day.Children will have a legacy not only from their father but also from their mother– So far in the past generations, it was mostly, the man of the house who earned and left a legacy behind for the children. But if the woman of the house also works, the legacy left behind would be from both the parents.Children can look up to their mothers- If the mother is working, the children need not depend only on their father for chores outside the home. They can look up to their mother as well for the outside chores.If the woman works, the display of gender equality will help the children understand it better– They would right from their childhood see that both men and women can work together, share work, and contribute to the family, both financially and administratively. They would grow up as empathetic adults respectful of the opposite gender.Children would become independent, ready to face the world much early in life- The children of working mothers would turn independent and mature much earlier than those under the command of their stay home mothers. With their parents not available all the time to do every minor job for them, the children would learn to manage and do it on their own. They would not get spoon-fed at every step.

“ In a new study of 50,000 adults in 25 countries, daughters of working mothers completed more years of education, were more likely to be employed and in supervisory roles and earned higher incomes”

“A 2010 meta-analysis of 69 studies over 50 years found that in general, children whose mothers worked when they were young had no major learning, behavior or social problems, and tended to be high achievers in school and have less depression and anxiety.”

“Sons raised by working mothers were significantly more likely to have a wife who worked, one well-regarded study led by Ms. Fernandez found. The men might have preferred to marry a woman who worked, the researchers concluded, or were better partners at home to working wives.”

“Across 25 countries, 69 percent of women with a working mother were employed, and 22 percent were supervisors, compared with 66 percent and 18 percent of those whose mothers stayed home. Daughters of working mothers earned 6 percent more.”

How will it benefit the other family members?



Financial support to the family– One plus one is two. Income coming from two would always be more than one. All of us know this basic calculation. Don’t we? But when it is about accepting and supporting the woman of the house to work, it makes sense to only a few.It will improve the standard of living– With more income for the family; the overall standard of living will improve. The family would lead a much better life without compromising on the basics of life.If the woman works, any one of them can go independent and start a business- With a few years of good planning and decent savings, the man or the woman of the house, whoever wants to go independent, can start a business. With one partner’s salary to fall back upon, the other can take the risk of experimenting and leading an entrepreneurial journey.The working couple shares the work at home much more than others- The couple tends to share work at home much more in families where the woman is working than those where she is not. This is true, especially for nuclear families.Help to the old grandparents- Even if the man of the house is not available because of his work engagements, none of the work of the old grandparent’s would remain pending. The working woman who is adept at handling every task that the man of the house can handle will become a great help to the parents.Family members may not have to depend on the man of the house for financial support every time- If the woman is working, any of the family members can ask for financial help from her, whenever they need it. They may not have to necessarily depend on the man of the house for their every small need.



How will it benefit society?



The total income of society would increase significantly- With the contribution also coming from the working women, the per capita income would increase. It will improve the gross domestic product (GDP) of society and hence that of the country. All of this would significantly improve the country’s economic ranking in the world.

Annette Dixon, World Bank South Asian vice president, in women’s forum said in her speech,

“In 2012, only 27 percent of adult Indian women had a job or were actively looking for one, compared to 79 percent of men. In fact, almost 20 million women had dropped out of the workforce between 2005 and 2012”

“India ranks 120 among 131 countries in female labor force participation rates and rates of gender-based violence remain unacceptably high. It’s hard to develop in an inclusive and sustainable way when half of the population is not fully participating in the economy. At 17% of GDP, the economic contribution of Indian women is less than half the global average, and compares unfavorably to 40% in China, for instance. India could boost its growth by 1.5 percentage points to 9 percent per year if around 50% of women could join the workforce.

The per capita expenditure of a household would increase, contributing to the economy at large- The total income increase, owing to the contribution coming from the working women, would lead to more residual income. It would, in a way, encourage every family to spend more. The increase in expenditure by each family would lead to greater consumerism. And greater consumerism would symbolize greater prosperity for the country.Being the role model– By being a role model, in their own families, they would encourage the girls and other women in their families to go out and earn, which in turn would lead to greater prosperity for the country.

Now tell me, is it not important that we help, support and encourage the women of our families to work even after marriage.

At least I believe so.

It is quite possible that I may not have been successful in impressing your thought process in a big way. But yes, I am confident that I must have made you think seriously on “Why Should women work even after marriage?”

If you have liked reading this post, whatever aspect you did, please leave a comment at the bottom of the blog post.

You can share your personal experiences also if you want.

Share it with the people who you think should read this post. To all those people who would either get affected or influenced.

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Why grandparents should be around when your kids are growing up?

The kids who get quality time to spend with their parents grow up much more confident and smarter than other kids of their age who don’t. 

That’s something a lot of us know. Isn’t it?

But do we also know how our child’s overall development gets affected if his grandparents are around?

That is what I am going to emphasize through this post today.

I still remember my childhood when I use to yearn for my grandparents who lived far away, almost towards the other end of the country in Kerala. As my father had limited resources with a big family of six to take care of, even visiting them once in five years was an uphill task for him.

I never got to see two of my four grandparents, and could spend with my amumma (paternal grandmother) only the last two years of her life. By the time I saw her for the first time, she was already eighty-five, an age where she had herself turned into a child. 

That’s the reason I know how much I have missed in my life. Although this loss of experience was purely emotional, there are a lot of other reasons why grandparents should be around when your kids are growing up.

You will realize this more as you read this post further.

But before I move ahead and share how, let me describe to you a typical nuclear family situation we live in these days.

The husband and wife are working in two different organizations in two different directions of the city. At times one of them has to even cross two city borders to and fro between home and office. Their two kids go to a decent school nearby, and decent by today’s standard is an International School. The two children are studying in fourth and sixth standard respectively. Their school gets over by 1:30 pm. After which they either are arranged to stay back in the daycare at the school or the school bus leaves them back at home.

In case they stay back in the daycare, they are going to spend five more hours at the School premises, than any other child. Although the parents try their best to make sure their kids are learning, sleeping and eating properly, even in those five hours.

But are you sure they are not missing anything as they are growing up?

What would have they gained if their grandparents were at home?

How different would have been their life?

I feel the kids are missing something so great that they will eventually feel and hence question their parents someday.

Just in case if they come back from school the parents ensure to keep full-time help at home with cameras to look after them till they come back from their office.

But do you feel the kids are going to get that same love and affection that their grandparents could have given?

I doubt.

Before you start cursing this new-age kind of parents, let me tell you that it is not that the grandparents have been sent off to an old-age home. It is just that they are living in their home town with their children migrating to a bigger city for better opportunities.

Now because the grandparents have a society of their own there with the people they have known for years and the relationships they have built over the decades, they don’t want to shift with their children.

But then who is losing the most in this process, the grandchildren.

I know what you are feeling. You are feeling sorry for this family.

But isn’t this the case with a lot of us today?

Before you accept, let me confess that even I am one among them.

Precisely that’s the reason I am writing this blog post. I am going through this pain every day. And I know a lot of such people who are living and giving this grandparentless life to their children.

But unlike my father, we try our best to make short trips to our parents often, so that the grandparents and the grandchildren get some quality time together. Not only this we celebrate most of our festivals and family occasions together.

Although I know, that’s not enough.

But I still feel that it can be a win-win situation for each of us- the parents, the grandchildren, and the grandparents, only if the grandparents are around when our children are growing up.

How?

I have the answers for your hows.

Grandparents if around would lead to a more disciplined lifestyle for all

When have you flouted the most from a disciplined lifestyle in your life? Most of the time has it not been when your parents were not around.

Imagine if your parents stay along with you will they not be ensuring a similar disciplined lifestyle- what to eat, when to eat, follow a physical regime, sleep on time, for their grandchildren also. They will very well do it. Will they do it only for them, they will ensure the same for you?

Grandparents if around would lead to a more experienced parenting and grooming for the grandchildren

There is an old saying, “I have seen more monsoons than the white hairs on your head” which means my experience is much more than your total age.

So if grandparents are around, the grandchildren will have a reservoir of experience and anecdotes to learn from. The grandparent’s experiences of having seen the world will benefit the children in ways more than one.

Who better than the grandparents to recite those experiences through their unique ways of telling stories?

Grandparents if around would give you enough confidence to face even the extremes of work pressure and the grandchildren are watching all of this

There are times when you come back from your work completely tensed up. There was something at the office that did not go as you expected or maybe you got a big-time beating from your boss. Whatever be the reason, you are under extreme stress. So is your working wife that day because of her share of problems. Who will you share your grief with?

If your parents are around, you can always look up to them. You can always lie down with your head on your mother’s lap or sit with your father over a glass of wine. See how all the pain vanishes.

Mind it; your children are watching you. They are seeing their father sharing his work-related problems with his father and feeling relaxed after that.

Even if your father is not able to give you an exact solution to your problem, an extra ear would give you enough confidence to face the situation fearlessly the next day. Isn’t it?

Now when your kids face any such stress or trouble in their life in the future? Who will they go to? Wouldn’t they come to you? Yes, they will. That’s what parenting under grandparents does.

Grandparents if around would lead to more love and even pampering of your child

There is a myth that more love makes your children get spoilt. No, that is not true. More love can make them stronger. It does not harm them in any way. You have to make sure that your parenting helps them grow up as mature, understanding and empathetic individuals.

They might face problems later in life, like not being able to handle situations as adults. But that will happen only if you have not allowed them to handle situations on their own as kids. Giving more love does not mean that you don’t give them responsibilities.

They are two different things.

Grandparents if around can act as great teachers to the grandchildren

In the time-bound lives in which we are living, there are many skills that the grandchildren should necessarily have. Grandparents have all the time in the world, are not stressed as the parents are and more importantly are concerned that their children should learn these skills. Who better than them?

The skills I am talking about are setting the table, making the bed, sewing a button, airing up the bicycle tires, tying the shoelaces, tightening screws, etc.

Grandparents if around will help the grandchildren connect better with their family history, religious traditions and heritage

Now, as the grandchildren get easily comfortable with their grandparents, however old they turn, it is easier to pass on all that the family owns as heritage, as traditions or family history.

Grandparents usually tell stories of their life, their hardships or those of their forefathers because of whom they could achieve whatever they have in their life today. It helps the grandchildren in coping up and fighting against any hardship if they face anytime in the future.

Grandparents can tell mythological stories to their grandchildren, and not only entertain them but also help them understand the various traditions and the reasons we celebrate them. Every family has a heritage and who better than the grandparents to help the grandchildren feel a sense of belongingness to a particular origin.

Grandparents if around protects kids from depression as adults

A 2014 study out of Boston College says close emotional relationships between grandparents and adult grandchildren leads to lower rates of depression, both for the grandparents and the grandchildren.

It is because the grandparents help them come out of such situations by sharing their life experiences. They tell them stories of how somebody they knew came out of it. They make them feel comfortable in all such situations. Such life experiences help the grandchildren cope up easily.

Grandparents, if are around their grandchildren, tend to live longer

Isn’t it getting better for everyone? The parents, the grandchildren, and the grandparents, everyone is gaining out of it.

The grandchildren become more resilient and the grandparents become healthier. A research suggests that the grandparents who watch their grandchildren grow in front of them, add an average of five years to their life.

So what now, what have you decided?

Will you convince your parents to live with you or will you go and live with them?

Whatever you decide, I leave that to you. But please make the parents and the grandparents around you, read this post.

If you have liked reading this blog post, please leave a comment in the comment box.

Also you can read my book on everyday parenting, My School “My Father” (English edition) or My School “My Father” (Hindi edition) by clicking on the title hyperlinks.

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The post Why grandparents should be around when your kids are growing up? appeared first on World of Words.

Reading vs Watching Videos : Effect on Youth

As a writer, it is indeed difficult to pull in readers, especially these days, when the youngsters love binging on videos, more than anything else. On top of that, with high data speed and live streaming so easily available, people don’t want to come out of the maze they have got themselves into. They rise, work and sleep in that same mess every day. I am talking about Netflix, Amazon Prime and all other such live streaming options which are available these days.

I don’t know whether it is the generation gap or the technology gap, but trust me, you would surely reflect on your habit of video watching after you would have finished reading this post.

I am sure you must have read somewhere or heard sometime in your life that reading is better than watching videos but do you know the reason, why?

I am going to share those why’s today.

But before I do that, let me tell you what science has to say about this.

A few years back in a University in Japan a study was conducted on the effects of television on the brains of children, along with the time spent in watching TV and its long term effects.

The study says that more the children watched TV, parts of their brain associated with higher arousal and aggression levels become thicker. It makes the frontal lobe thicker leading to lower verbal reasoning ability.

In the same year, another study in one of the Universities in the U.S was conducted. It was on how reading a novel can affect the human brain. This was conducted on college students. After reading the novel, the study revealed that their parts of the brains related to language showed increased connectivity. Not only this, the long term effects of reading is, that it keeps your mind alert and delays cognitive decline in elders.

As a researched fact reading can reduce stress levels by 70 percent if you just read for six minutes, according to a research conducted at the University of Sussex. Reading even beats out other relaxing activities like listening to music (61 percent), drinking tea or coffee (54 percent) and taking a walk (42 percent).

Reading is active while watching TV or videos is passive. Every time you read a sentence in a novel, you try to interpret its meaning; even if it requires you to be super quick you do it. You read a description of a character in a novel and you start visualizing that character in your mind. You read a scene and start imagining the scene as if you are living it.

Watching videos takes away all that imagination from you. It shows what it wants to show it to you and you get forced to see what is being shown to you, curbing your imagination and reasoning in a big way.

When people around me tell me that they don’t read much these days, I get disheartened not because I am losing a prospect reader but because people are losing on something that is an ageless entertainment. They are simply replacing it with mindless binging of videos, especially the countless YouTube and Tiktok videos, most of them being, those that do no good to them.

Reading a novel might take a week to finish but you get engaged in it for a longer duration than any video. For the entire week, even when you are not reading, your mind will roam back to the novel many times. But in case of videos, you would think about it only for a short time that would follow after the actual show time, and not beyond that. This means that with reading, you develop a great amount of focus and concentration whereas with watching TV or videos you will only reduce your attention span and focus.

Reading will let you be free and help you relax because you will stretch your mind to imagine, only to the limit you want to but that’s not the case while watching a video. Watching a video will excite you, thrill you or scare the shit out of you because it would be a strong dose of power-packed entertainment. You would simply remain a viewer, reacting to it from the outside whereas when you are reading, you are actively engaging your mind by visualizing the story. You become the illustrator of the words you are reading and start creating the images with those words.

Reading helps in improving your vocabulary much more than watching videos. You have to make sure you choose the right kind of literature. You can refer back to the content without much hassle. Videos or TV typically use short and simple sentences. Good children’s books contain language twice as complex as a TV show, which means good variety in the vocabulary. With novels, the advantages of enriching the language become much more.

Watching mindless daily soaps on TV or the destructive and crime-related shows as web-series these days can only reduce IQ and not increase it. On the other hand, research proves that reading novels creates heightened connectivity in the brain for up to five days after reading.

Reading can make children more intelligent, interactive, empathetic, interesting and attractive whereas watching shows on the idiot box or the zombie turning device, the mobile phones, can only turn children into morons. Reading a story to your children or grandchildren aloud is a highly interactive process, helpful for the development of young children.

So what do you say, aren’t these reasons not enough for you to cultivate the habit of reading in your children or grandchildren?

If yes, please do so because, for the ghastly world that is shaping up, we need a generation that is intelligent, attractive, empathetic, interesting and convincing. One of the ways is by inculcating the habit of avid reading in them.

How to keep your children away from mobile phones ?

I use to spend way too much time on my phone, and you probably do it too.

But by altering my daily habitual routine I successfully managed to come out of its dangerous trap.

“Most people check their phone every 15 minutes or less, even if they have no alerts or notifications,” Larry Rosen, psychology professor and author of The Distracted Mind, tells CNBC. “We’ve built up this layer of anxiety surrounding our use of technology, that if we don’t check in as often as we think we should, we’re missing out.”

Rosen’s research has shown that besides increasing anxiousness, the compulsion to check notifications and feeds interferes with people’s ability to focus.

With that said, all of us suffer from this habit of checking our phones mindlessly. But today I want to focus on how bad it is and how worse it can become if we don’t come out with a solution to restrain our growing kids from using mobile phones.

I am sure, all those parents who are running their households as a nuclear family would understand this better. What happens when you come back from your office, especially if both the parents are working?

You want to relax and wish your kids to mind their own business without disturbing you. You want them to remain engaged. But what do they have to keep themselves engaged with other than the electronic gadgets you have at your place, most easily available being the mobile phones.

What happens when your friends come over to your place?

You want to interact with them and your young kids would just not agree to leave you in your space with your friends. You hand over your mobile phones to somehow manage them to keep them away. Over a period of time, they realize and hence manipulate you to give up, especially on all such occasions.

What happens when you are driving and want to engage in a conversation with your spouse, with your young kids sitting behind?

You hand over your mobile phones to keep them away from disturbing you.

What happens when you wish to complete your pending office work and want your kids not to disturb you?

You hand over your mobile phones to avoid them from disturbing you.

All of this happens when you want to stay free or when you want to engage in something extremely important.

What about those moments when you have nothing important to do and you still keep checking your phones every fifteen minutes.

You are in a way displaying an unwanted, dangerous and simply useless habit in front of your kids, who over a period of time start emulating you.

This is a situation with which all of us are getting hugely impacted. But have we thought how to disengage our kids from getting into this habit and hence save them from the enormous amount of harm it can cause?

I think we should. And therefore I am listing a few ways which can help you and your children from the growing menace of mindless use of mobile phones.

First thing first, check how many hours as parents do you spend with your kids without any gadget. Start taking out time, at least an hour every day, and engage with them. You can engage them in an outdoor activity, any sports, game, or just take them out in the kids playing area and watch them play. Mind it; you too will have to leave your phone behind at home. If outdoor activity is not possible every day, engage with them in an indoor game like board games, chess, carom, or simply guide them on how to do better coloring, painting or telling them about some interesting book from the Goodreads list.


Once you are back from the office, try keeping your phone away, in an out of reach area. If your job demands to check emails or messages frequently even after office, try maintaining a schedule. Check your phone every one hour for five minutes and then keep it away. If your job is not so demanding, put off all the notification buttons, alerts and turn it into ‘only a phone call’ mobile to receive important incoming calls.


If you want to reduce the mindless checking of phones every fifteen minutes, reduce your social media network use to only two applications and that too use only every two hours.


To keep yourself and hence your kids away from the mobile phones most of the time, we should first understand what all as a device it does for us. It is basically a device that has transformed into its current state from being a calling device when it was first invented. So it would still be required for that.

As a text messaging device also it should continue to serve us, although we can use laptops if the message is professional and does not require an immediate or a quick reply back.

The smartphones these days provide us apps that help us watch movies on live streaming or may be downloaded ones on the video player. We can restrict ourselves and watch anything that is a movie, a show or a web series only on our smart televisions. This would not only keep us away from our phones for two-three hours at a stretch but also reduce our chances of watching shows altogether because our mobility would get reduced. We would hence reduce our total screen time also.

For young children, the excessive screen time robs them off required physical activity and much-needed sleep. Being head down on the screen while watching it might be harmful to their brain development. A Dan Siegel of Mindful awareness research center thinks it may impede language and social development as well. It says it can delay expressive language in 19 months old.

We use music apps to listen to music on the go, which I believe we can continue to do so but under strict discipline. We should not keep our headphones hanging, especially those Bluetooth wireless headphones which come these days. It leads to extensive use. Not many of us know but bluetooth wireless headphones have potential health risks because of chronic EMF exposure and can cause cancer, genetic damages, neurological disorders, learning and memory deficits, and reproductive issues.

We use phones to check the time, set alarm, check the calendar and trust you me all of these can be used otherwise also. You simply need to have a wristwatch when you are traveling, a wall clock at home and office, a table clock to set alarm and a physical calendar on your study table at home and office to plan your days, weeks or months.

We use phones to access the internet for checking e-mails and browsing the internet for various reasons. Again this too cannot be easily replaced. But yes, we can always maintain a discipline of using laptops and mobiles as per the requirement of the internet, with an objective in our mind to keep the use of the phones at the minimum. Avoiding their use at home or keeping it to the least minimum would help us greatly.

With e-commerce at its extreme high, most of us these days shop online, which has again exponentially increased our screen time. Be it the clothes, gadgets, books, shoes, grocery items, everything can be ordered online. And because many of us are in a habit of doing window shopping, we do that online also. Try shopping through your laptop, and your screen time on the phone and the overall screen time would get significantly reduced.

If you are in a habit of reading books through your kindle reader or some other eReader, stop doing that and instead read physical books. Not only read but read out to your kids through physical books. This too would keep them away from phones and hence reduce the screen time. Use eReaders when you are traveling and don’t want to carry the weight of physical books.


Help your children cultivate the habit of engaging in a physical game in the playground and not on video games on phones. Although there are scientific studies that claim that playing video games can change the brain regions for attention and visuospatial skills and make them more efficient but there is something which we ignore, a kind of an addiction known as internet gaming disorder. It is something that makes functional and structural alterations in the neural reward system and increases our cravings as it does in any other harmful addiction.

I believe these tips and reasons would help you in some way and make your life better and healthier.

My Top 10 Lessons of 2019

In the beginning of every year we make resolutions but a month passes and we are already derailed. And this happens almost every year. Precisely that’s the reason I don’t make New Year resolutions. Instead I work on my short term, medium term and long term goals.

But yes, without fail, I publish my top 10 lessons of the year, by the end of the year.

Continuing the habit, the following are my top 10 lessons of the year 2019.

1. Spend good amount of time with family.

After an extremely hectic 2018, I had decided to have a much relaxed 2019. Thankfully, I succeeded in doing that. Working full time as a life skills trainer and writing as an indie author was becoming a little difficult for me, so I slowed down my pace as an author and came out with just four short stories in 2019. With that said, I spent good amount of quality time with my family and friends, especially with my children. Spending two to three hours with my young kids in the evening was always a dream, which came true this year. You would be happy to know that it was an outstanding experience seeing them grow in a year that is almost towards its end. Their innocent questions, their mischievous smiles, their naughty laughter, their expressions of surprise and happiness, their way of loving and their cries to manipulate us to do things their way, was all an amazing experience. 

I could spend some good time with my wife talking and listening to each other’s experience during the day, plan the family’s financial situation, discuss things in general and plan the vacations and celebrations of the year.

It was one of the much better years as far as socializing was concerned. Taking out time to meet friends, party with them and pick up the phone and talk at length, was a reality this year. I was much less dependent on Whatsapp, Facebook and other social media to connect with people, who I was unknowingly distancing away from.

As a lesson, I would love to continue the same way this year too.

2. Writing is my passion not a contest.

As said by the famous Ruskin Bond, “At this pace, there will be more writers than readers in India”, I remained overwhelmed seeing the plethora of upcoming writers in India. The current generation of writers in India is coming out with books and novels at such lighting speed that I often get overwhelmed, majorly because of the indie publishing becoming such an in thing. Writing and then publishing books one after another with five to six full length novels every year is so very maddening. I too at one point in 2018 had decided to go at express speed and publish at least eight books every year but then when I realized it will only hamper the quality, I decided otherwise. For me writing is my passion and not a race which I have to win beating all other in the business. No doubt, I too wish to succeed commercially but not at the cost of writing and publishing anything and everything. 

So one of the lessons I learned in 2019 is to write at my creative best and put forth before my readers the best of the bests.

3. Work on one project at a time. Multi-tasking can take a backseat.

For the last few years, I had been working on multiple projects, although of similar nature, quite successfully but after a point I felt, this cannot become a reality for the rest of life. So in 2019 I began working on one project at a time without crossing timelines, and focused only on Life skills training sessions and writing one book at a time. Happily I succeeded in making a mark, although no work done during this period got acclaimed. 

4. Health is of prime importance.

  The year 2018 passed by as a year where I focused a lot on physical health and managed quite successfully but 2019 was more focused on the mental health. Although because of various reasons I couldn’t continue to keep my physical routine of running 5 kilometers every day, I managed to keep my mind happy, relaxed and charged and balanced the shortfall. 

As a lesson I would like to maintain a good balance between my regime for physical exercises and mental well-being. 

5. Practice creative visualization.

Over the past many years I have successfully practiced and benefited from creative visualization. 

Creative visualization is a manifestation technique which uses the power of the mind. My belief in this technique has become stronger every year. From the time when I was physically, mentally and financially drained out to this current time when I have managed to prosper in every aspect of life, I can only credit this technique as my saviour. 

Now that when I know there is no lack in this universe for anything, everything is abundantly available I stay chilled and always sure that the event, situation or the object that I am manifesting is going to become a reality around the time I have visualized. 

As a lesson, I would continue to practice this technique with all the more vigor and enthusiasm. 

6. Know your people – Family, Friends and Professional connections.

It is not only important to know that you have a family, few friends and professional connections; you should also take out time and know them better. For that you will have to spend good quality time with them, stay along when they need you the most, engage much more often at emotional level and involve them in your life in much bigger ways.

I know things changes with generations. There is always a gap between two generations. May be the millennials would disagree with me and would keep their stance on maintaining their own private space more than anything in this world. But let me confess, I have, over this past one year felt, come what may, however big and accomplished you become, you still need to have a great family, rock solid friends and humane professional connections. 

As a lesson, I would continue to explore and know them better in the coming years.

7. I have my own time zone, a unique time zone.

Although this has been a lesson that I learned a decade back, so what if it was the hard way. But in the last one year I have gracefully believed and practiced on it. So what if the entire world is progressing at lightning speed, so what if every new author is topping the national bestseller charts, so what if most around me are minting unbelievable money, I continued to believe on my path and the journey of life, of which 2019 was just a small part. I am in my own unique time zone, others are in theirs. Everything has its own sweet time to arrive, although by practicing positive thinking and creative visualization, I have successfully been carving my life at will. And trust you me it feels wonderful, when you know you can create things by your thoughts. You feel powerful and magically empowered.

8. Read successful stories but to create one follow your own dream.

For almost two decades I have been reading success stories of how people became famous from being a no one to the most famous ones. Not because I simply liked them or got attracted to, but because I myself wanted to be famous. What I have realized after reading umpteen of them is that if you have to become successful you have to follow your own dream. For the major part of 2019, I have reflected back on the dream I have been following for past so many years. Lesson I learned from this is that I should do this look back at the journey travelled quite often. It will help me keep the minor goals in line with my dream goal.

9. When you know you’re in the right direction, keep walking.

It is difficult for most of us to discover early in life what we want out of our life. But those who are able to, know the right direction to move on. They should simply continue to walk in that direction, however slow the pace be. For the entire 2019, I remained consistently persistent in my walk towards my goals, although the pace was small, the steps were baby but I remained persistent. I wrote four more short stories but because I was not myself thrilled I dropped the idea of getting them published and started re-writing them. As far my full length novel is concerned, I have written one third of it. I know it was really slow but that’s fine, I am not in a race to finish first. I want to put forth my best work.

10. Being grateful every day. The practice is simply magical.

One act you can unfailingly do every day is thanking people, situations, events, things around you for all the happiness they have brought into your life. I do it every day, as and when I get time, mostly two or three times in a day. It is so beautiful. I don’t know about others but it gives me the immense strength and power for the days, weeks and months to come. Once again I take this opportunity and thank the year 2019 for all that it has given me and my people.

With these top ten lessons of 2019, I thank you too, my readers and patrons, who have brought me from nowhere to the space I own today.

With heartfelt gratitude, I bid adieu to the year 2019 that is going to become a past in few hours from now and welcome the much greater year 2020 which is to begin few hours from now.

I wish you all, a wonderful new year 2020.

My Life without a Mobile- Those Seven Days

Mobile phone, ever since the first one I held in my hand in 2004 to this day in 2019, is no more just a prized possession for us these days. It has evolved from being a communication device to a multi-purpose gadget with messaging service, internet, radio, mp3 player, video player, calculator, camera and what not.

With the advent of the smartphones and the army of apps on it, it has turned into an ocean churning out information faster than the speed of light. This earth of information through internet available at the tips of our hand has more than 1.2 million terabytes (1 terabytes = 1000 gigabytes) of data at our bay.

On an average today we spend more than 10 hours per day watching, reading, listening or simply interacting with media, which 15 years back was merely 2 hours per day that too majority being spent on Television.

With these facts in place, I am sure you must have read at least one article, which talks about the mess these electronic gadgets with their display screen are causing in our life. Now the problem is not just limited to the adverse effect it causes to our eyes and hence the sleep disturbances, it is being proved that it has become one major reason of mental problems in the children of today. Beyond affecting the physical anatomy and the mental capacity of our existence, the dragon has turned its head to affect us socially by limiting our movements and hence the relationships. The number of divorce cases being filed, the family relationships turning sour, age old friendships getting affected has exponentially increased over the past few years.

What is the reason?

The major reason is the screen time. Out of that screen time majority is being spent on mobiles. On mobiles also the majority is being spent on the social media apps like Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and others.

I am sure by now you have already got bored to death, reason being there is nothing exciting in this blog so far, just plain facts and figures.

Let me make it a little interesting by telling you my recent experience.

Being a Life skills trainer I am, my role requires me to travel across the country for my various training workshops. A month back while I was travelling to the IGI Airport, New Delhi to board a flight to Bangalore, I forgot to plug out my mobile from the cab’s charging point. The greed that must have set in, didn’t allow the cab driver to have that basic integrity to receive my call and return the phone to me. I made a phone to my wife and told her about the incident. After minutes of trying to reach out to the cab driver, I boarded the flight without my mobile phone. I was already feeling lighter, I guess.

After landing at the Bangalore airport, I called back home to inform my wife that I have landed and told her that I will call back once again as soon as I reach the hotel. I did as I promised. Spoke for about two minutes and checked into the hotel. Thank god, that even with such a damaging penetration of mobiles, hotels in India still provides the landline phones. At least they have one at the reception of the hotel.

My wife filed an FIR and I tried my level best to somehow manage to get through and speak to that cheat cab driver. But to no avail, sadly I failed.

I had almost made up my mind to buy a new phone the very next day, after I get through my training workshop. But then I thought why I should do it in a hurry and decided otherwise. While at the venue where I was facilitating the workshop, I smartly managed to get hold of a desk phone there and communicated with my work peers, through one of the numbers I remembered. In this era of saving the numbers by the names on mobile phones, I realized it is wise of you, if you remember at least one work number without your mobile phone. I returned back to the hotel and used the hotel’s reception pone to make a call to my wife. I cited the same reason to the receptionist of my phone being lost and that I needed to communicate with my family back home in Delhi. Day one without phone was over, although my wife felt a little uncomfortable, as she could not reach out as and when she wanted. But because I was keeping in regular touch and managing to speak with her every three hours, she could not complain.

Day 2 in the morning I made a call from the hotel’s reception again and went my way to the venue of the workshop. I managed to repeat the same routine and successfully without any problem passed my second day as well. I realized that I was craving to check the notifications on my social media apps every now and then. But that happened only for the first two days. By the second day evening, I had overcome that craving. In the evening while I strolled down the market near the hotel, I was somehow feeling lighter. Trust me I had no craving for the phone, which I could have never imagined till I lost it.

Day 3 in the morning while I tried repeating what I did for the first two days, the hotel manager, objected and categorically told me that he would not be able to help me anymore. I insisted that I can pay them for the call but he professionally refused saying that they don’t have any such provision. I felt that I was being forced to buy the phone now. I could not call my wife in the morning and could only do so when I reached my place of work. She too insisted me to buy the phone. She said buy at least one of those cheap keypad phones, if I didn’t want to spend on a smartphone right now.

But by now I had started enjoying my stay without the dragon of disturbance, a phone with ever disturbing social media apps. I somehow convinced my wife that it is a matter of just four more days. By the end of Day 4, when our communication was getting adversely affected because of this so important device in our life, I decided to go and check out a basic key pad phone. After spending an hour or so, and realizing that it is just a sheer waste of money, I came back to the hotel without buying one.

All this time while I was not checking my social media handles on my mobile phone, I was checking all the notifications, once in a day, in the night on my laptop. I happen to check an e-mail my wife had sent, in which she has asked if I could chat using Skype. I felt such an idiot at that moment. With such an over indulgence and dependence on mobiles, it had completely skipped my mind, that I could use my laptop to do a video-chat with my wife using Skype.

Day 6 and Day 7 sailed along comfortably. I interacted with my family, my wife and twins through video chat, morning and evening. During the day I continued to talk without any interruption from my work desk phone for all seven days.

I reached back home safely after seven days and that too without a mobile. I would not say that those seven days were not at all troublesome because they were. But considering my takeaways from this experience, I think it was good that I lost my mobile phone.

How’s that?

My takeaways from this real life experience are

1. We should be careful while we travel and take care of our belongings. It is our responsibility. We cannot later blame someone else for our own carelessness.

2. While travelling even if we lose something as important as a mobile, we should not panic and complete our journey, especially if it is a flight or a train. We should not miss our train or a flight in that panic.

3. I lost my mobile but what I gained has forced me to write this blog. You can easily understand how fruitful that loss of a phone must have become for me.

4. I learned how not to get overwhelmed by the monstrously affecting notifications of social media apps by keeping all notifications off. Instead interacting by replying to them later, in the slot I have put them to reply in.

5. I have been able to focus a lot more on my writing because I realized that the world will not come to an end if I don’t check my notifications every two minutes. Checking them after every three hours, that too only for a minute or so, would also be fine.

6. My screen time on mobile I am sure has reduced from at least 6 hours every day to 2 hours every day. That basically means I have 4 more quality hours that I can spend in any which ways.

7. I have been able to call and speak to people and hence socialize more these days because I have reduced my time on apps like whatsapp and messenger.

8. I have physically met at least ten people from my close friends list because I realized how badly I was losing on them because of these monstrously affecting social media dragons in our life.

9. I have been able to sleep on time and get up on time because I have not been wasting time on social media apps till late in the night to promote my work.

10. I am able to spend more time with my wife and kids and hence feel more accomplished and happy.

Today I am using a phone with least number of apps and have framed time for checking my social media accounts once in a day, late in the evening.

I don’t know if this experience will affect you and your life in any way or not. But if it does, after you try restraining yourself from any such unproductive, time-killing activities like giving unnecessary attention to the mobile phone screen, I would request you to leave a comment.

If you have already been able to keep yourself off from these monstrous apps, and are able to keep a work-life balance, I would still request you to leave a comment, citing your experience.

The Year called 2018: A Throwback

It is always nice to look back at the year that has just passed by. When I look at 2018, this is what it threw back at me,

January 2018

I think I know you… Karunya, Do I?, gets published as a paperback edition.

However accomplished an author becomes with time, his first book remains closest to him forever. My first book My School “My Father”: everyday parenting would always be special for me. It was because it was a work which was converted out of my raw feelings about the parents-children relationship and not because it is now an Amazon Number one best-selling book on parenting.

With all the accolades I received for my first book in the year 2016 and 2017, I forayed into fiction and wrote my first romantic-thriller novel, I think I know you…Karunya, Do I? in 2017. But the day I received the first paperback copy of my second love, I had an unexplainable spur of joy, something that you can only have when you hold it in your hands, hug it to your heart and feel the shape, size and smell of your paperback book.

The paperback got published by My Books Publication, one of the most promising publishers in Delhi. It was a moment of pride, happiness and achievement.

[image error]Signing the first 1000 copies to be delivered to the initial pre-orders.

I think I know you… Karunya, Do I? Gets launched at the world famous, New Delhi World Book Fair in January 2018 as a paperback edition by My Books Publication.

What followed suit after it got printed was that my publisher, My Books Publication unveiled its cover page and the paperback book at the world famed, New Delhi World Book Fair 2018. I had an ounce of sadness looming over me, because I knew I would not be present at the launch. It was because it was an overnight decision by my publisher, the late. Mr. MoolChand Chauhan. He decided to squeeze in a slot for my book launch at the last moment along with other seven books, the slots for which had been decided weeks back.

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Right there stepped in my partner for life beyond life, Ratika S. Panicker, who pitched in at my place and unveiled the paperback edition of my second book and first fiction novel, I think I know you…Karunya, Do I?

[image error]Ratika Panicker, unveiling I think I know you…Karunya, Do I? at New Delhi World Book Fair 2018

Being a professional corporate trainer that I am, whose calendar gets blocked by the fifteenth of the last month of the quarter, was training his participants in some other city miles away. I got to see the footage of the Facebook live, later in the evening that which I watched with pride sitting in the comfort of my hotel.

When my wife, was pitching in for me and speaking about my journey as an author and the struggles I had faced in my life, I not for a moment felt that I could have expressed that in any better way. Click to Watch the launch of I think I know you Karunya, Do I? at the New Delhi World Book Fair 2018

[image error]Ratika at the New Delhi World Book Fair 2018, sharing my journey as an author.

Attended the famous ZEE Literature festival 2018 with my publishers, MoolChand Chauhan and Mr. Shahid Khan.

If that was not enough, I got an opportunity to attend my first ever Literature festival, the mecca of all literature festivals in the country, the ZEE Jaipur Literature festival along with my publishers late MoolChand Chauhan and Mr. Shahid Khan, as delegates.

It was a lifetime experience watching the who’s who of the literature world, right from the famous baadshah of crime writing Mr. Surender Mohan Pathak to Shashi Tharoor, Chetan Bhagat, Ashwin Sanghi, Amish Tripathi, and many more.

At the literature festival I got an opportunity to meet many new authors and authors published by my publisher. It was also an event where the first Amazon’s Pen to Publish Contest 2018’s final results was to be announced. The winner was to receive a contract for a paperback edition with Westland publications, a reward of Rs. 10, 00,000 and mentoring by one of the five panel judges. That’s where I happened to meet the winners J. Alchem and Sudha Nair, much before they went on stage.

Later in the day, my publishers and I along with other published authors of My Books Publication enjoyed our stay in ways more than one. We happened to visit a Book Cafe by the name Step out Cafe where we went live on Face book and shared our experience at the Zee Jaipur Literature festival, our feedback, the shortfalls and the strengths of such literature festivals. We had Shaveta Dham, another author who has penned down a beautiful book called Emotions in my basket. Accompanying her was her family that included her lovely supportive husband and a powerhouse of talent, her daughter.

[image error]with Shaveta Dham, Shahid Khan and Moolchand Chauhan at StepOut Café, Jaipur.

February 2018

Attended a book reading event at Dehradun organized by Creative Colours and powered by My Books Publications.

For all the time management tricks I apply to plan my quarterly calendar right to the last hour, this invitation by Creative Colours at the last moment was something I had to squeeze out of my personal family time. Sunday is one day that I completely avoid meeting or socializing with professional relationships, because that’s one day I reserve for all my personal relationships. But when insisted by the publisher I agreed to participate in this book reading event organized by Creative Colours at Dehradun, in an open-mic session.

I recited an excerpt, the opening chapter of my book; I think I know you…Karunya, Do I? It was altogether a different experience in itself. Witnessing young talents display their talent of poetry, comedy and prose was an absolute treat.

I was also invited there as a judge but trust me it was difficult for me to judgr and choose the best out of such an amazing pool of talent.

Reading out loud the story of Karunya and Aasma before a seventy odd crowd was no less splendid for me. I tried and made an effort to match to the mesmeric environment the other poets, stand-up comedy artists and the authors had created. I think I did a pretty fair job.

Click this link to watch the recorded video of the book reading event.

[image error]The ‘Pensive me’ watching and judging the performance at the event.

March 2018

The World Image Solutions along with Horizon interviewed me through New Orleans Talk Network, live from New Orleans, USA.

It was again a moment of extreme pride, because on March 21, 2018 7 PM CDT/ 8PM EDT and 06:30 AM IST, Meet The World Image Solutions along with Horizons interviewed me live from New Orleans, through NOTN, New Orleans Talk Network. The hostess, Rhonda M. Lawson, interviewed the two of us stretching from Indiana in US to India, in the same interview show and telecasted the show Live on Facebook, You Tube and Periscope.

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The other author on show was Jim Peters, author of Black Swan Planet, a science fiction author from Indiana, in the US. It was again an experience of a life time, being on a first ever online Live interview and its only Rhonda, Jim, I and the sound recording artist who knows what went behind the scene, trying to put all our efforts for the show to go live.

On the day of interview ten minutes before the interview, there were multiple audio-video glitches, which we together sorted out well on time and the interview began. Click this link to watch my interview with Rhonda Lawson.

April 2018

Attended the MS Talks event in Delhi with the publisher, My Books Publication.

Invited as one of the guests at a public speaking event organized by MS Talks India, was another feather in my cap. I got to witness six wonderful speakers coming from six different realms of life, right from a retired Brigadier from the Indian Army, to an International Motivational Speaker to a travel blogger and a female motorist. It was again one splendid event where each of the speakers enthralled us with their real life incidents and stories. The audience was awe-struck listening to their inspiring stories, and the pool of fifty like minded people including the audience learned, enjoyed and went back home a lot more inspired.

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May 2018

Invited as a Motivational Speaker at the MS Talks platform, where I shared my story of how I changed my life using the power of mind.

The next was an invitation that came my way from the founder of MS Talks India, a dynamic and extremely inspiring Sikh Mr. Supreet Arora, fondly called Author Sherry. He is not only a maverick public speaker but also an equally talented author with his first book, Unleash the Hidden Potential doing amazing sales on Amazon.

[image error]Sharing my life Story at MS Talks

Along with the other five speakers, I shared my story of how I changed my life by training my mind by using the power of my subconscious mind. It was one amazing reflection of the part of my entire life story I have had so far. Watch me sharing my story of how I changed my life by training my mind at MS Talks India, May 2018.

The video went viral and continues to be a video with maximum number of views uploaded by MS Talks India’s You Tube Channel.

Announcement of the Hindi edition of My School “My Father” is made. The month of publishing the Hindi edition was decided as November first week.

After my first book, My School “My Father” had become a best-selling book on Amazon and then an Amazon number one best-selling book, I had been receiving thousands of e-mails and social media requests by my readers to come out with its Hindi edition also.

The book when first published in 2016 was an English edition only. I therefore made an announcement to come out with its Hindi edition in November 2018.

Read about the extremely talented Hindi poet and author, Mr. Ashutosh Gupta who co-translated with me my first book, My School “My Father” into Hindi.

Invited as a keynote motivational speaker and judge to an Inter-School debate competition at Lotus Valley International School, Noida along with Mrs. Sutapa Basu, the author of the famous book Padmavati, as the other judge.

[image error]Being felicitated by the Principal, Dr. Ruchi Seth, Lotus Valley International School, Noida.

This was one eventful month in 2018. I received an invitation from the number one International school, Lotus Valley International School, Noida to judge an Inter-School debate contest – Battle of Words. Read the coverage of this event on the School’s website.

[image error]Co-Judging the Inter-School debate with Ms. Sutapa Basu

As I delivered a motivational key-note on the most important aspects to keep in mind while debating on any topic, I stressed on the importance of voice modulation, rate of speech, gestures, postures and knowing your content. I went on adding that in the end as the results get announced what would matter will not be about who wins or loses but who out of their individual classes were good enough to get selected to represent their school and what they learned from this exposure.

[image error]Delivering a key-note on public speaking and art of debating.

The co-judge at the event was Ms. Sutapa Basu, the author of the famous book Padmavati and the recent Genghis Khan.

Amazon best-selling book My School “My Father” achieves its best ever milestone of getting crowned as the Amazon Number One Best-Selling book.

May was turning out to be the best month of 2018 for me. My first book achieved a milestone which every book out of the millions available on Amazon longs to achieve. It was crowned as the number one best-selling book on Amazon.

For an author with just two books published, milestones like this propel the writer in him to produce his best works, and that’s what it did to me. I was on cloud-nine but took a resolution right in the middle of the year to dedicatedly put myself to a routine of regular writing. I started with fifteen minutes every day and today as I am writing this blog post, I write at least for three hours every day, with not a moment of so called writer’s block.

[image error]My School “My Father” as Number One Best-Selling Book on Amazon.

June 2018

A new YouTube Channel Ajit Panicker- a Master Glocal Storyteller gets launched.

A lot of people in my journey called life so far have christened me as a Jack of all trades, the idiom that I have always loved finishing for them, ‘and master of none.’

Exploring new things in my life has been my second nature. I have been so adventurous with my life, so much that people had started feeling that this boy is restlessly impatient and unstable.

Who would tell all these uselessly good for nothing people who are available around you and me only to pass their ever ready comments?  I not only wanted to see this beautiful world through its various forms of creation and learn, but it was also one of the ways to immune myself from the burnout, that comes when doing one single thing for a very long time. Today I am an author, an International Master Life skills trainer, a behavioural science expert, a planner, a content design specialist, a master facilitator, a motivational speaker, a training project manager, a voice over actor, a narration artist, a storyteller and the biggest of them, a passionately curious learner for life.

After becoming an author, to avoid the mental ‘writer’s’ block that most of the authors of our generation face, I started diverting my mind into my other areas of interest and hobbies. One among them was telling stories. So in June 2018, I launched my second You Tube Channel ‘Ajit Panicker- the Master Glocal Storyteller’ to recite stories from Indian Mythology in Hindi and English.

[image error]Launch of second You Tube Channel

An attempt that began as a rejuvenating exercise is slowly turning into a craze for all who have begun listening to it. I receive raving reviews and feedback from across the world for the audio-video stories narrated by me on this channel.

Subscribe to this new channel Ajit Panicker ~ the Master Glocal Storyteller.

You can also subscribe to my first official YouTube Channel which is all about my work as an author, motivational speaker and life coach.

September 2018

A new series called Ajit Panicker’s L.S.D, a collection of unconfessed stories of love, lust and treachery gets announced.

I have been working on two fiction books, The Writing Alchemist and The Boy, from past one year, but the kind of research both of these books required, I was not able to come out with any new book in 2018, although the Hindi edition of My School “My Father” got published later in November.

This was not fair to my ever increasing base of readers. So that I could buy time from them and to enliven my dream of writing a hybrid genre I decided to write my first series in romance-thriller-crime-suspense category. That’s how the series Ajit Panicker’s L.S.D was born in my mind. It is a series as a collection of ten unconfessed stories of love, lust and treachery. It is currently in the editing stage, and the first free to read story should get published on 15th January 2019, followed by one story every month for the next nine months of 2019. The rest of the nine stories would be available for a buy on Amazon.

You would just hate, not to love this mind-boggling strange human relationship series full of love, romance, crime, suspense, deceit, extra marital and murders

[image error]Announcement of the new series, Ajit Panicker’s L.S.D

October 2018

An initiative to provide #101TipstolearnEnglish gets launched on Facebook Page.

Being a life skills trainer, I conduct training workshops for different set of audiences. One among them is a type that has major language problem with English. As we all know the colonial rule by the Britishers to this date continues to strongly overwhelm with its extensive importance of the English language in the lives of Indians. In the so-called modern developing India, we still feel and accord an overbearing importance to this global language.

But because we all know, that in the India we live today, so that we can grow faster and to avail many such better opportunities that are only available to a group of people who have good command on this language, we have to master this language. Let’s not overlook its importance just because we are proud nationalists. It is just another language and it always good to have command over one more language than the national language.

With the intent to help all such people who don’t have resources and the facilities to avail the various ‘Learn fluent English’ institutes, I started this initiative on my Facebook page, #101TipstoLearnEnglish. To find all the tips I have shared so far use the hash tag #101TipstoLearnEnglish on Facebook.

With the intent to help all such people who don’t have resources and the facilities to avail the various ‘Learn fluent English’ institutes, I started this initiative on my Facebook page, #101TipstoLearnEnglish. To find all the tips I have shared so far use the hash tag #101TipstoLearnEnglish on Facebook.

Cover Page of the first independent story of L.S.D- That Sinful Day.

For Ajit Panicker’s L.S.D, the series that was announced in September, I managed to get my designer create a beautiful cover page for its first story for an online reveal. The cover page for the first story, That Sinful Day, that would be available for free to read by 15th January 2019, was revealed.

[image error]Cover page reveal of the first story of Ajit Panicker’s LSD series.

Announcement of Chat over Chai with Ajit Panicker.

This is something that was announced, though at a very early stage. It is a chat show that I intend to start anytime towards the end of 2019. The announcement was made that it would be a chat show where we would interview people from the various walks of life who are being evangelist to the society in general. Anyone who is trying to make an attempt to do anything substantially good for the people in the society would be eligible to get invited as the guest of the talk show.

The chat show would be “Chat over Chai with Ajit Panicker”. The latest development on this is that the founder-Curator of The Vent Machine, Ms. Surabhi Pandey has agreed to be part of this project.

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Announcement of Ignite Your Passion, a signature program to be launched as a free seminar made.

With the ten signature programs that I have designed in my stint as a master trainer facilitator and designer, I added one more program to it, this month. Announcement of the eleventh signature program by Ajit Panicker, “Ignite Your passion- Succeed with undying fire inside your belly” was made.

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Launch of MS Talks Online Workshop for writing skill development. First session of How to write a best-selling book? – Introduction to the stages of writing a best-selling book.

In collaboration with MS Talks India and after rounds of discussions with Mr. Supreet Arora, the founder of MS Talks India, we launched a skill workshop online on the art of writing a book. The announcement of thirteen sessions under this series names “How to write a best-selling book?” was announced.

Then one after another on every alternate Mondays starting October end moving into November, I conducted four  different sessions under this series. It was a free workshop on a specially made whatsapp group with about 191 members. It was usually conducted at 8 pm on alternate Sundays in October and November for duration of 30-60 minutes.

Session I: Introduction to the stages of writing a best-selling book

Session II: How to identify my objective of writing a book?

Session III: How to identify my target audience ‘my readers’?

Session IV: How to make the ideation stage of writing a book fruitful?

November 2018

Announcement of Collaboration with The Vent Machine

An announcement of a fervent collaboration with The Vent Machine was made to bring out before the world, stories of those heroes and sheroes who have been through different types of extremes in life and have come out as winners.

[image error]Collaboration with The Vent Machine

Read about the Fervent Collaboration with The Vent Machine

MSMF Hindi edition gets published.

Finally my third book My School “My Father” gets published, though a translated work. It is a work of co-translation that I have done along with a renowned Hindi poet and author Mr. Ashutosh Gupta. You can buy My School “My Father” – Hindi edition using this link

[image error]Hindi edition of My School “My Father”

December 2018

Accomplished reading 46/50 books at the Goodreads Reading Challenge.

For the last three years starting 2015 I have participating in the Goodreads Reading Challenge every year with about 18/50 books read in 2015, 22/50 books read in 2016, 34/50 books read in 2017 . I came closest to the reading challenge this year by finishing 46/50 books.

One who motivates me to read exactly 50 books every year is Bill Gates, who has a habit of reading at least 50 books every year. 

Went Live to launch Life Stories by Ajit

Life Stories by Ajit, a series of real life stories was announced to get published on The Vent Machine, the famous Singapore blog. This #LifeStoriesByAjit series is about real people with real life struggles and the way they overcame those extremes, and are now leading a mainstream life. They today inspire people around them through their story. Read about the unveiling of the Life Stories by Ajit.

The first story of Mohit Chauhan got published on 25th December 2018. The story has been receiving raving reviews and feedback ever since that day. I went live on 21st December 2018 at 8 PM to discuss the reasons, the idea and the inspiration behind this initiative and why I decided to collaborate with The Vent Machine. 

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Watch the Unveiling of the Life Stories by Ajit, the launch and the Q&A session that followed.

An exclusive interview with The Vent Machine

A day before the first story of Life Stories by Ajit went live on The Vent Machine, the founder of TVM, interviewed me on her blog. This interview briefly talks about my real story, struggles, aspirations and vision of what I wish to see the world as. Read my exclusive interview by Ms. Surabhi Pandey, on her blog The Vent Machine.

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First story of #LifeStoriesByAjit gets published on The Vent Machine: Story of Mohit Chauhan.

On 25th December 2018, the first story of Life Stories by Ajit gets published on The Vent Machine.

This story is not that of the great Prithvi Raj Chauhan. He has not won battles for the country but his battle with his own life and his ‘ThisAbility’ oops disability is no less than Prithvi Raj Chauhan. He is Mohit Chauhan, a man who struggles, fights for his own survival every day with no less valour. Read his story on #LifeStoriesByAjit powered by The Vent Machine.

[image error]Life story of Mohit Chauhan

Invited as a Motivational Speaker and judge at the Public Speaking Contest organized by RevUp Life Skills Unit.

The penultimate day before the year ended was an invitation to be a judge and a motivational key note speaker at a public speaking contest organized by one of the revolutionary start-ups, brain child of Nancy Juneja, RevUp Life Skills unit. It is a platform to groom young children to become great orators and public speakers.

[image error]Invited as a Key-Note Motivational Speaker by RevUp Life Skills Unit

My key note address was on how reading and writing as a habit can change your life forever. I shared a story and with it I tried making my point of how one can master reading, writing and public speaking skills as a child. With the parents of the children from five years to sixteen years enthusiastically participating in the event, it was one awesome event to end the year with. “

[image error]A Key-Note address on the importance of reading, writing and public speaking in the life of a child.

That was one of the best ever throwback.

[image error]Being Felicitated by the Chairman of Shanti Gyan Niketan School, Mr. Surinder Khurana.

Thank you for staying till the end of this blog post to read and witness my throwback of the year 2018.

My Top 10 Lessons of 2018

Year 2018 is about to close its eyes, only to welcome a new novel Year 2019. So as a practice, I am posting my top 10 lessons of the year 2018.

Life teaches you its lessons every day. The year usually begins with at least a hundred resolutions which we make to ourselves to accomplish during the year, but fail to achieve most of them. So is it because they are hundreds of them and not a few of them or is it because we make such resolutions only to tell people around that we too have our resolutions for the year.

I too made a few of them in 2018, and achieved a few out of them. But without any doubt, I have learned a lot, this year too.

1. Follow your passion, come what may

Most of us around the world, earn our livelihood, either by working around for others on a salaried job or work for ourselves as a business owner. For a complete year we work to earn and live on that, and many of us often curse our life during the year for its lackluster treatment. We often question ourselves, for are we born only to earn, eat, sleep and feed our family. But we do nothing to change it, beyond thinking.

We don’t make an effort to follow our interest, hobbies or passion or whatever we feel joyous about.

If we start, the only excuse we have when we stop following it, is that we don’t have time. It’s not the lack of time that is the reason. It is the lack of your love for it, your passion for it. Or maybe you find it difficult to be persistently consistent in it.

For that you have to psyche yourself to an extent that people around you genuinely feel, that the passion you are following is really important for you. It matters a lot to you. They, the people around you will start making a room for your interest, your hobby, but they have to be made to understand that it matters to you a lot. How do you do that? If you don’t follow your passion, and show your struggles following it, how will they understand?

2. Read like the world is about to end.

While I was attending one of the seminars in a literary event this year, the presenter revealed that about 98% of the world’s literate population, pick up their first and the only book to read, and yet do not finish reading it in their entire lifetime. I am talking about one book, other than your school textbooks.

We, who we feel are an evolved species, are only keeping up the findings of the theory of evolution by Charles Darwin of being a species with the most evolved brains, true. That’s it. We are not trying to evolve as souls.

For our souls to evolve we need to read. Read like the world is about to end. You should at least read ten books in a year, if not fifty.

Your thought process transforms and your life changes, if you read extensively.

3. Engage yourself in a regular exercise, jogging or a game.

When your body is fit, your mind remains fit. When your mind is fit, your body will. With the kind of eccentric lifestyle we have put ourselves into, in this AI driven world, I completely understand it’s difficult to keep ourselves engaged to a regular regime of exercise, a morning jog or follow any game. But if we realize it’s important, we will take out time for it. Not when your lipid profile shows high cholesterol or triglycerides level but much before. The symptoms can best be realized, when you see yourself panting like a dog for a small physical labor like climbing to the second floor by steps. You have lost your fitness level somewhere, while trying to make a living for yourself.

Sooner or later, whenever you realize, start and consistently follow a routine.

I have been able to keep up to a routine of two kilometers to a five kilometers jog, in the morning or in the evening. It’s not important to jog for all seven days in a week. A routine of five days, alternate days or even only on weekends are just fine, if you make sure you keep up to that routine.

4. Avoid people who sap away your positive energy

Learn how to gauge people. Observe their usage of words, movement of eyes, coordination with their hand gestures and their body posture. If you feel there is something missing, a gap, be careful. As soon as you realize that there is something fishy about a person, avoid him completely. These people are usually very sweet and to prove their credibility, they will talk a lot about themselves, give erratic ideas which they would present as if they are a million dollar worth and look for an opportunity to reach out to your pocket. If you want to test a person, think of ways where you can ask him to work for few hours a week for free to contribute to the society, you will get your answers. Trust me in 2018; I was fortunate to have met quite a few of them.

Negative people are not only those who are clearly apparent. More dangerous are those who are looking for opportunities to kill away your positive energy silently.

5. People closest to you would contribute the least to your success beyond a point.

Usually you must have felt and heard from people who are successful, that it’s their family and friends who have helped them reach where they have.

Most of those successful people hide the most basic truth of life. The truth is that people who are closest to you would help you in your strides only till the time they know, you are not going to cross beyond their status, position and popularity. Till the time you are even a notch lesser than them and they know that you know that fact, they would still help you in your journey. But the moment you start moving out of their radar and reach a level up, their willingness to contribute in your growth would substantially reduce.

It’s because most of us grow up with a lack mindset and not growth mindset. We cannot happily accept people growing before us. Only a few can. That doesn’t mean you should leave them. Just be simply cordial to them and not expect much from them and go on building newer, bolder, stronger and valuable relationships.

6. Don’t talk loose but do not allow people to take you for a ride.

It’s absolutely good to be nice, honest, helpful and positive in your dealings with people. But that does not mean, people should take you for an unnecessary ride, just because they feel, you are a nice guy.

Wherever necessary put your strong foot forward and make people understand your expectations with them in your relationships. It’s always good to clarify your way of looking at things, understanding and perceiving things, to people who you feel, are not capable enough to know your real character. May be, they do not have enough time at their bay to do so. Let not people assume that every nice guy is submissive and can easily be taken for granted.

7. Love your job forever but love your company only till the total weightage of what you receive in value is what you deserve.

You should not stay back in an organization forever. Not that you will not succeed. But hardly 1% of the total population of the people working in the same organization for their complete career reaches in the top management.

Does that mean, you should continue to stick back, only to prove that one has to stay the longest to reach the farthest? No, I don’t think so.

There is a research published by a globally recognized research company, according to which, the best ageing for an employee in a company, if he wants to grow is usually five years. It is because five years are good enough for any individual to prove his value, talent and worth. Similarly, five years are enough for an organization to appraise both, his potential and performance. Staying beyond five years means, you would reduce your chances of getting hired on challenging progressive roles in other competitive companies.

Five years reference that I have taken is, if one works for five years in a company without any change in his role, position or promotion.

8. Stop wasting time with people who don’t add value of any kind.

You will get to interact with different kinds of people as you work along in your job or business. Time is that dimension, whose power is insurmountably high. You cannot play around with it and waste it. During the day while at your office job or dealing with your business relationships, you will have to meet people for various reasons.

You should not waste your time, at places, for incidents, with people who you feel do not deserve that. Instead invest that time in knowing your own weaknesses, strengths or in improving your own self.

9. Plan and dedicate yourself to a schedule.

People who are successful are always great planners. They plan their entire year, right to the last hour, leaving a room for emergencies. They hate mess in their life and do not like finishing up things in haste. They ensure to execute their schedule with complete dedication. That’s how they are able to accomplish multiple things in the world, and all with finesse.

I am an author who writes for three hours for at least five days in a week, a behavioural trainer for eight hours for at least fifteen days in a month, go for a jog in the morning or evening for about thirty minutes every alternate days, ensure three hours of family time every day on the week days and much more on the weekends, read every day for at least thirty minutes, listen to music while driving or jogging, socialize with people I work during the day, take out time to try my antics at my voice over acting and narration to recite a story for about two hours in a week.

How do I manage to accomplish so many things? I hope you must have got your answer. You can see the duration allotted to each of the activities. I just love scheduling to the last hour.

10. Don’t wait for the right time to arrive, it will never. Just begin.

Most of us for the entire course of our life just wait for the right time to arrive. It never does. Have you ever heard, anyone being able to improve his life for better, just by sitting behind waiting for the D-day? No one can, because there’s no such thing as the right time or the best time.

If a thought has entered your mind to work upon something, it is the biggest indication that you have to decide. Think louder about the idea that has cropped inside. Explore it more. Talk to a lot of people to understand the nuances of it. Look for people who have done that before or something similar. Take guidance and plan out everything, before you venture out.

Then just do it. Make a plan, follow it and see your plan coming true.

Happy Reading and learning ! I wish you all a Happy New Year 2019 !!