Danica Peck's Blog, page 2
September 27, 2017
48 hours in Seminyak
"Travel far enough you meet yourself." - Cloud AtlasGoodbye my perfect island escape. I will see you again, but for now. Its onwards to Seminyak. 
Update on how we got home last night. We sat in Gili Frame for over an hour waiting for the rain to subside, when it was clear that it wasn't going to ease up we decided to just ride back to the hotel. It was only fifteen minutes at the most. It was fun and terrifying at the same time. No lights, complete darkness, puddles that came as high as our peddles, but the rain was refreshing, like a cleansing, washing away the past to move forward into the future. However I did almost fall off my bike with laughter when I turned to see Sarah riding up behind me. It was like riding home with E.T. 
We have finally collapsed on the beds in our hotel, Favehotel Sunset in Seminyak. It lt took us five hours to get here, almost a three hour boat ride and almost a two hour bus ride. I am ready to sleep, but we haven't eaten since this morning so shower and venture into the streets for food it is. The hotels elevator smells like bubblegum, totally forgot about this, we were also greated with ice tea. That is good hotel service. When we were driving to the hotel I noticed a restaurant called, Warung Bunana. For some reason it jumped out at me so I chose here for us to go to dinner. We ordered: 1 x garlic roti1 x cheese roti (to die for) 2 x curry ayam 1 x mango lassi1 x coca cola 1 x chocolate roti And it came to 80.000 which is the equivalent to $8 Australian. We werent quite sure what to do with our two days in Seminyak. We pretty much covered all grounds the last time we were here. With some google and instagram research we found.Padang Padang beach.Waking up early we jumped in an uber and drove down here, it was a staircase down and out onto this beautiful beach. It doesn't feel like a bali beach, feels very much like an Australian beach. Its even got the red and yellow flags and lifesavers and surf lessons. 
"Happiness comes in salty water" Had a group of five Muslim women approach and ask to take a photo with me. I politely said sure and smiled for thier photos. Its such a weird custom to take photos with strangers. They said their thanks and stated that I was beautiful before departing. Terima Kasi. (Thank you.) As I finally relaxed on the beach, letting the sun even out my back tans the tide decided to get high and come right up to our stuff. Never had I stood up and rescued my bag so quickly. The towel and shoes got drowned but I protected the phone. Ninja skills! We moved tanning spots, went for another swim and enjoyed another hour in the sun before the midday heat kicked in. 
We decided to go back to Warung Bunana, we just needed more of that cheese roti. It was so delicious. As much as we love to travel and explore new places we are also creatures of habit. In Gili T is was Gili Frame which we were at twice a day. And here in Seminyak it seems to be Warung Bunana, which we've already said we'll have dinner at tomorow. Plus tonight we're going to La Flavela, a restaurant we fell in love with last time we were here. I bet we'll even end up ordering the same meals. For lunch at Warung Bunana we tried a new drink called, Markisa. It was so good! It is passion fruit juice but a soft drink, so kinda like passito but more refreshing and fresh! 
We crossed the road, I thought I was going to die. Drivers in asia be crazy! But we saw this massage place called Ki, sounded promising and looked fancy so we went in and asked for two traditional massages. A girl, perhaps my age took me into the massage room, they start by washing your feet. She asked where I was from, as everyone does here. "Australia," I anwsered."You dont look Australian, your parents?""My Dad is English and Mum is Malaysia,"She nodded as though that made sense. "You are very beautiful," I whispered thanks and said she was to, making her laugh and shake her head. She took me to my table where I got ready for my massage. As she worked I became very conscious on what parts of my body were injured or sore. When she massaged my back, my mind for some reason wondered to my tattoo. "We accept the love we think we deserve," Perhaps that is why my relationships always fail, every man I've loved has been a narcissist. The man I fell in love with I thought was different cause his an introvert, but being away from him and actually thinking about his personality, he does have traits of a narcissist. Which is also probably a big reason he didn't fall in love with me, he didn't think he deserved it. Because when I love someone, I give so much, I put my whole heart into things and that is why I deserve a love like that in return. This train of thought quickly faded into silence in my mind as I enjoyed my full body massage, and I mean full body, every part of my body that masseuses are allowed to touch has been massaged to relaxtion. "You have a strong soul," she told me as she ran her hands down my back. Good to know, I often doubt. As I lay on my back I felt alone, despite the fact of someone else being in the room I had the sense of being alone. Not in a lonely way, that we humans always feel but alone and comfortable within myself. As the hour ended I felt very relaxed and refreshed. I'm definitely coming back here tomorow, $10 for an hour. Why wouldn't I? 
"And into the forest I go, to lose my mind and find my soul," We navigated our way to La Favela from memory, we didn't get lost so am proud of us. We sat down at a table and heartbreak! They no longer serve the deep fried haloumi. After that disappointment we read the rest of the menu and ordered way to much food. We got a Greek Platter, open bao pork buns and chicken with asparagus, they were all good choices. We then ordered chocolate mousse for dessert, we were so full but there is always room for mousse.Post dinner and pre food coma setting in we decided to sus out the walk to legian street, half way down I noticed this bikini throw over in a shop and had to get a look at it. It was $40 but and that just seems to pricey for bali, however I can't stop thinking how much I loved it so I am off to sleep and if I'm still thinking about it in the morning. I'll buy it when we walk past the shop. Yum! I have become addicted to these things! They taste like poptarts and cocopops had a baby! They are in most mini marts so go try them! 
We spent all morning walking Legian street, and yes I did go back I buy my bikini overthrow, as well as a dress, five rings, and a new bag. Its good to know I can still bater. We returned to our Warung Bunana for lunch then crossed the road and returned to Ki for another full body massage. As we walked back to the hotel we stopped in a supermarket for some aeroplane snacks and where in Australia we have chocolates and gum at the checkouts, here in Bali there have condoms and cockrings... bit random. Its now time to pack and say goodbye to Bali. Its been fun! Until next time.
Update on how we got home last night. We sat in Gili Frame for over an hour waiting for the rain to subside, when it was clear that it wasn't going to ease up we decided to just ride back to the hotel. It was only fifteen minutes at the most. It was fun and terrifying at the same time. No lights, complete darkness, puddles that came as high as our peddles, but the rain was refreshing, like a cleansing, washing away the past to move forward into the future. However I did almost fall off my bike with laughter when I turned to see Sarah riding up behind me. It was like riding home with E.T. We have finally collapsed on the beds in our hotel, Favehotel Sunset in Seminyak. It lt took us five hours to get here, almost a three hour boat ride and almost a two hour bus ride. I am ready to sleep, but we haven't eaten since this morning so shower and venture into the streets for food it is. The hotels elevator smells like bubblegum, totally forgot about this, we were also greated with ice tea. That is good hotel service. When we were driving to the hotel I noticed a restaurant called, Warung Bunana. For some reason it jumped out at me so I chose here for us to go to dinner. We ordered: 1 x garlic roti1 x cheese roti (to die for) 2 x curry ayam 1 x mango lassi1 x coca cola 1 x chocolate roti And it came to 80.000 which is the equivalent to $8 Australian. We werent quite sure what to do with our two days in Seminyak. We pretty much covered all grounds the last time we were here. With some google and instagram research we found.Padang Padang beach.Waking up early we jumped in an uber and drove down here, it was a staircase down and out onto this beautiful beach. It doesn't feel like a bali beach, feels very much like an Australian beach. Its even got the red and yellow flags and lifesavers and surf lessons. "Happiness comes in salty water" Had a group of five Muslim women approach and ask to take a photo with me. I politely said sure and smiled for thier photos. Its such a weird custom to take photos with strangers. They said their thanks and stated that I was beautiful before departing. Terima Kasi. (Thank you.) As I finally relaxed on the beach, letting the sun even out my back tans the tide decided to get high and come right up to our stuff. Never had I stood up and rescued my bag so quickly. The towel and shoes got drowned but I protected the phone. Ninja skills! We moved tanning spots, went for another swim and enjoyed another hour in the sun before the midday heat kicked in. We decided to go back to Warung Bunana, we just needed more of that cheese roti. It was so delicious. As much as we love to travel and explore new places we are also creatures of habit. In Gili T is was Gili Frame which we were at twice a day. And here in Seminyak it seems to be Warung Bunana, which we've already said we'll have dinner at tomorow. Plus tonight we're going to La Flavela, a restaurant we fell in love with last time we were here. I bet we'll even end up ordering the same meals. For lunch at Warung Bunana we tried a new drink called, Markisa. It was so good! It is passion fruit juice but a soft drink, so kinda like passito but more refreshing and fresh! We crossed the road, I thought I was going to die. Drivers in asia be crazy! But we saw this massage place called Ki, sounded promising and looked fancy so we went in and asked for two traditional massages. A girl, perhaps my age took me into the massage room, they start by washing your feet. She asked where I was from, as everyone does here. "Australia," I anwsered."You dont look Australian, your parents?""My Dad is English and Mum is Malaysia,"She nodded as though that made sense. "You are very beautiful," I whispered thanks and said she was to, making her laugh and shake her head. She took me to my table where I got ready for my massage. As she worked I became very conscious on what parts of my body were injured or sore. When she massaged my back, my mind for some reason wondered to my tattoo. "We accept the love we think we deserve," Perhaps that is why my relationships always fail, every man I've loved has been a narcissist. The man I fell in love with I thought was different cause his an introvert, but being away from him and actually thinking about his personality, he does have traits of a narcissist. Which is also probably a big reason he didn't fall in love with me, he didn't think he deserved it. Because when I love someone, I give so much, I put my whole heart into things and that is why I deserve a love like that in return. This train of thought quickly faded into silence in my mind as I enjoyed my full body massage, and I mean full body, every part of my body that masseuses are allowed to touch has been massaged to relaxtion. "You have a strong soul," she told me as she ran her hands down my back. Good to know, I often doubt. As I lay on my back I felt alone, despite the fact of someone else being in the room I had the sense of being alone. Not in a lonely way, that we humans always feel but alone and comfortable within myself. As the hour ended I felt very relaxed and refreshed. I'm definitely coming back here tomorow, $10 for an hour. Why wouldn't I? "And into the forest I go, to lose my mind and find my soul," We navigated our way to La Favela from memory, we didn't get lost so am proud of us. We sat down at a table and heartbreak! They no longer serve the deep fried haloumi. After that disappointment we read the rest of the menu and ordered way to much food. We got a Greek Platter, open bao pork buns and chicken with asparagus, they were all good choices. We then ordered chocolate mousse for dessert, we were so full but there is always room for mousse.Post dinner and pre food coma setting in we decided to sus out the walk to legian street, half way down I noticed this bikini throw over in a shop and had to get a look at it. It was $40 but and that just seems to pricey for bali, however I can't stop thinking how much I loved it so I am off to sleep and if I'm still thinking about it in the morning. I'll buy it when we walk past the shop. Yum! I have become addicted to these things! They taste like poptarts and cocopops had a baby! They are in most mini marts so go try them! We spent all morning walking Legian street, and yes I did go back I buy my bikini overthrow, as well as a dress, five rings, and a new bag. Its good to know I can still bater. We returned to our Warung Bunana for lunch then crossed the road and returned to Ki for another full body massage. As we walked back to the hotel we stopped in a supermarket for some aeroplane snacks and where in Australia we have chocolates and gum at the checkouts, here in Bali there have condoms and cockrings... bit random. Its now time to pack and say goodbye to Bali. Its been fun! Until next time.
September 24, 2017
Beaches, Bars and Freedom on Gili Trawangan
"And if you've never felt your soul being torn apart you've never loved anyone with all your heart" Last night Sarah and I had a conversation about the difference of being IN love and loving someone. And I confessed I've only fallen in love once. Don't get me wrong, I've loved alot of my exes but none of them ever spoke to my soul. I believe to be in love, its Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, which translates to something is happening. Something is happening in your soul, and the moment I met the person I fell in love with, I knew, my soul was like touch that human, and years later I did. And my soul, it was like coming up for air after years of drowning. Now here is the problem, he doesn't love me back. So what do I do, stay, listen to my soul and stay as a friend like he wants or turn around and leave, never look back? I've always listened to my soul, its always led me in the right direction but now I'm not so sure. Hopefully by the end of this trip I have more insight. Watching the sunrise from the top of the volcano gave me lots, but was it correct? "Your brain can play tricks, your heart can blind, but your soul is always right." We're now waiting at the boat terminal, waiting to jump on our boat that will whisk us away to some little island that is so small that there arent even cars or motorbikes on it. This island is called. Gili Trawangan. The boat was much nicer than last time we came here. We met a lovely English couple who have been moving around the world for seventeen years, their youngest daughter is almost eighteen which means her whole life is on the move, that is kind of amazing. The boat takes off and we climb onto the roof because we're to cool to sit inside the boat. 
The boat slows down and we see the island and the water. Oh my god. Such perfect blue water. Its like magic. 
We decided to walk to our hotel, it was a small enough island to do that and we've been here before so we know the way, or so we thought. You know in movies when people have been in a maze for hours and think they are near the end but they are actually stuck in the middle. That was us. What was meant to be a tweny minute walk was over and hour! We finally reached the hotel! It's completely different from last year. The whole island looks different. What did they do? Spend the last ten months renovating? Our room at the Aston wasn't ready so we hired bikes to ride to the center of the island for some food. You know that movie edge of seventeen, its one of my favourite movies. Her life has always been messy then it blows up in her face and she has a full on break down but then she gets on her bike and goes for a ride and she just relaxes her shoulder like she knows she going to be ok. And that is how I feel. As I ride the bike around the island, I feel free and I know I will be ok. I may be in pain for awhile but I will get through this. Because I have amazing people in my life and that wanderlust deep in my soul, and that is what is keeping my soul alive right now. As we round the corner to go down a little dirt road the bar is playing the song, dont be so shy which is now stuck in my head. We find a little place called Gili Frame and oh my god I am in love with the drink menu.The cocktails are $4.50 and shots $3.50 
As I sit in Gili frame, sipping my watermelon juice the song, my heart will go on, begins to play and I just find it so perfect for where I am right now. Also I found my throne. 
We jumped back on our bikes and cycled to the beach. The first one we reached had bean bags and music. We we're sold. As I stepped into the ocean and enjoyed the magical water the song, "we're young and wild and free," started playing. Its like Gili T is playing all the right songs right now. 
I sat and swung on the ocean swing until the wind got the best of me then I leaned back and landed back in the ocean where the tide lead me back to shore. The sun was out so I lay on a bean bag to get dry. We then cycled back to the hotel in our bikinis, my reasoning was being to lazy to change haha. We decided a read on the beach was how to spend the evening and found the perfect spot. 
When I returned to our hotel I settled on the day beds on the beach front and listened to the live music they had going. I then checked FB to find many worried mesaages. 
Need to pay better attention to the news. Had no idea any of this was happening! Well I knew the Mt Agung was active but didn't realise it was a big thing that cause evacuations. Can I just say that lying on a day bed on the beach watching the sun set with live music is one of the best feelings in the world. 
Just want to say, I'm proud of myself. I usually have some low body confidence but I've spent the last four hours walking around the island in just my bikini. Though the streets and hotel as well, not just the beach. Its time to get ready to party on the town... well island. If you stay on Gili T, the Aston has the most amazing shower. Its the main reason we rebooked here. As Sarah got ready I stood in the foyer on the phone to Steph having a DNM. Half hour into the conversation two guys come up to me and start talking to me and one of them kisses me on the cheek then "escort" me to my room. Now I'm in the most random conversation and been told by Nick that we are as nice as baby jesus. We were then invited to there room for drinks but they cant remember there room number so he called room service. Callum shortman room number. We finally kicked them out and finished getting ready. We shall return to Gili Frame, the place we went for lunch cause I need there cheap cocktails. I've has a long island ice tea, margarita and mojito. 10 standard drinks and $14. I'm in a good zone right now. And the singer is so good. He keeps asking for song request and denies ours, but he did say he'd sing land down under and represent to us. I feel like the alcohol is taking over so I'll sign off for the night. Drunken thoughts: I can't remember our last kiss, I can relive our first kiss in my mind and it was perfect but I can't remember our last kiss because you never think it will be your last kiss. You think you have more time. As I stood very drunk at the bar waiting for Sarah the musician came up to me and started talking to me. He then told us the party scene for the night and got the bar reopened for us for one last drink. Its about connections! He has also insisted I come see him play so he can get me on stage to sing with him. Im scared. I'm a terrible singer.We then spent an hour with the musician showing us magic tricks with cards that are going to mess with my head. Especially with how drunk I am. Question: how did I get stuck partying with locals?? Where my backpackers at? Note to self: never drink Balinese or any Asian countries Long Island Ice Teas. There's a chance I'm still drunk.I remember the musician offering us to show us where the hot spot for the night, as we walked with him I became aware we'd gone off with a complete stranger. At least he extended my Malaysian vocabulary haha. But it was challenging trying to remember the route home later that night, the instructions I'd given myself were. Left at Medical centre, right at blue and white stripes and left at rainbow flags. It obviously worked cause we made it back to the hotel. It was a fun night, had some English guys talking to me then some French guy came up to us and was like, "you two girls are beautiful! Are you single?"And Sarah pointed at me. And then he turned to the English guy and was like "kiss her, dont let a beauty like her get away."We decided to find another bar but the music just wasn't doing it so we left but as we were leaving had some other European guy just grab me and kiss me! It was like, ok, that happened. That walk home but, think the local showed us the long way home. Today we shall hire bikes and map a better path for tonight's drunken adventures. Mojitos tonight! No long islands! Screw it, I'm riding around the island in my pyjamas, way to much effort to change. And can I say, I got tipsy last night on $20. Hmm.. only in Asia. Wish could do that in Australia. When you have a camera and a great view and awesome bikinis, why not do your own little model shoot. 
We then found a little strip of beach to settle on for a while with a book and a strawberry fanta. This is heaven. 
We rode the whole island, just did the whole circle, ocean view ride. And boys, saying nice bike while looking at my ass isn't flattering. I enjoy cycling, its like peaceful. The smell of the ocean, wind in my hair, its a sensation of freedom. And yes, I rode around the whole island in my pyjamas, don't judge me. 
Stay tuned for tonights drunken adventures. Somehow we've become regulars at Gili Frame in the twenty hours we've been on the island. When we walked in the singer annouced over the microphone, hello Danica and Sarah. Then the waiter took us to the front table. We enjoyed some food and multiple mojitos before we club hopped.We started at Beach Bum. Which got the swalla swalla Jason derulo song stuck in our head. We continued to Suma Suma which was live reggae music which we just weren't feeling. So we ended on the beach party where we met these Belgium guys, one of them claimed to be physic. He said I was twenty four and would fall pregnant at twenty nine, and I would have two boys and a girl. He also said I was from Portugal, that my name was Wanderlust and that I'm a Sagittarius. . . So I doubt he was right in anyway. Just my age was correct. Nothing else. I hope. 
It's our last day on this perfect little island today. So, we've started the morning with breakfast on the beach before hiring bikes to ride to the other side of the island for some more magically blue water. 
After our beach fix. . . Well more the fact we started getting sunburnt, we rode back to our side of the island and had lunch at a bar on the beach front called, Le Pirate. Delicious food and fresh squeezed fruit juices, so much better than boost. 
We're spending our last evening rotating pool side to beach. We'll have one last ride around the island and enjoy a few last drinks at Gili Frame. Wish we had more nights here. I'm enjoying island life. I think it suits me. 
The island, the bike, the ocean, the salt air, the good vibes has given me much prospective and have helped cleared my soul. Its time to close a chapter and open a new one. "Don't you ever say I just walked away, I will always want you. I can't live a lie, running for my life, I will always want you. I came in like a wrecking ball, I never hit so hard in love. All I wanted was to break your walls. All you ever did was wreck me."
The boat slows down and we see the island and the water. Oh my god. Such perfect blue water. Its like magic. We decided to walk to our hotel, it was a small enough island to do that and we've been here before so we know the way, or so we thought. You know in movies when people have been in a maze for hours and think they are near the end but they are actually stuck in the middle. That was us. What was meant to be a tweny minute walk was over and hour! We finally reached the hotel! It's completely different from last year. The whole island looks different. What did they do? Spend the last ten months renovating? Our room at the Aston wasn't ready so we hired bikes to ride to the center of the island for some food. You know that movie edge of seventeen, its one of my favourite movies. Her life has always been messy then it blows up in her face and she has a full on break down but then she gets on her bike and goes for a ride and she just relaxes her shoulder like she knows she going to be ok. And that is how I feel. As I ride the bike around the island, I feel free and I know I will be ok. I may be in pain for awhile but I will get through this. Because I have amazing people in my life and that wanderlust deep in my soul, and that is what is keeping my soul alive right now. As we round the corner to go down a little dirt road the bar is playing the song, dont be so shy which is now stuck in my head. We find a little place called Gili Frame and oh my god I am in love with the drink menu.The cocktails are $4.50 and shots $3.50 As I sit in Gili frame, sipping my watermelon juice the song, my heart will go on, begins to play and I just find it so perfect for where I am right now. Also I found my throne. We jumped back on our bikes and cycled to the beach. The first one we reached had bean bags and music. We we're sold. As I stepped into the ocean and enjoyed the magical water the song, "we're young and wild and free," started playing. Its like Gili T is playing all the right songs right now. I sat and swung on the ocean swing until the wind got the best of me then I leaned back and landed back in the ocean where the tide lead me back to shore. The sun was out so I lay on a bean bag to get dry. We then cycled back to the hotel in our bikinis, my reasoning was being to lazy to change haha. We decided a read on the beach was how to spend the evening and found the perfect spot. When I returned to our hotel I settled on the day beds on the beach front and listened to the live music they had going. I then checked FB to find many worried mesaages. Need to pay better attention to the news. Had no idea any of this was happening! Well I knew the Mt Agung was active but didn't realise it was a big thing that cause evacuations. Can I just say that lying on a day bed on the beach watching the sun set with live music is one of the best feelings in the world. Just want to say, I'm proud of myself. I usually have some low body confidence but I've spent the last four hours walking around the island in just my bikini. Though the streets and hotel as well, not just the beach. Its time to get ready to party on the town... well island. If you stay on Gili T, the Aston has the most amazing shower. Its the main reason we rebooked here. As Sarah got ready I stood in the foyer on the phone to Steph having a DNM. Half hour into the conversation two guys come up to me and start talking to me and one of them kisses me on the cheek then "escort" me to my room. Now I'm in the most random conversation and been told by Nick that we are as nice as baby jesus. We were then invited to there room for drinks but they cant remember there room number so he called room service. Callum shortman room number. We finally kicked them out and finished getting ready. We shall return to Gili Frame, the place we went for lunch cause I need there cheap cocktails. I've has a long island ice tea, margarita and mojito. 10 standard drinks and $14. I'm in a good zone right now. And the singer is so good. He keeps asking for song request and denies ours, but he did say he'd sing land down under and represent to us. I feel like the alcohol is taking over so I'll sign off for the night. Drunken thoughts: I can't remember our last kiss, I can relive our first kiss in my mind and it was perfect but I can't remember our last kiss because you never think it will be your last kiss. You think you have more time. As I stood very drunk at the bar waiting for Sarah the musician came up to me and started talking to me. He then told us the party scene for the night and got the bar reopened for us for one last drink. Its about connections! He has also insisted I come see him play so he can get me on stage to sing with him. Im scared. I'm a terrible singer.We then spent an hour with the musician showing us magic tricks with cards that are going to mess with my head. Especially with how drunk I am. Question: how did I get stuck partying with locals?? Where my backpackers at? Note to self: never drink Balinese or any Asian countries Long Island Ice Teas. There's a chance I'm still drunk.I remember the musician offering us to show us where the hot spot for the night, as we walked with him I became aware we'd gone off with a complete stranger. At least he extended my Malaysian vocabulary haha. But it was challenging trying to remember the route home later that night, the instructions I'd given myself were. Left at Medical centre, right at blue and white stripes and left at rainbow flags. It obviously worked cause we made it back to the hotel. It was a fun night, had some English guys talking to me then some French guy came up to us and was like, "you two girls are beautiful! Are you single?"And Sarah pointed at me. And then he turned to the English guy and was like "kiss her, dont let a beauty like her get away."We decided to find another bar but the music just wasn't doing it so we left but as we were leaving had some other European guy just grab me and kiss me! It was like, ok, that happened. That walk home but, think the local showed us the long way home. Today we shall hire bikes and map a better path for tonight's drunken adventures. Mojitos tonight! No long islands! Screw it, I'm riding around the island in my pyjamas, way to much effort to change. And can I say, I got tipsy last night on $20. Hmm.. only in Asia. Wish could do that in Australia. When you have a camera and a great view and awesome bikinis, why not do your own little model shoot. We then found a little strip of beach to settle on for a while with a book and a strawberry fanta. This is heaven. We rode the whole island, just did the whole circle, ocean view ride. And boys, saying nice bike while looking at my ass isn't flattering. I enjoy cycling, its like peaceful. The smell of the ocean, wind in my hair, its a sensation of freedom. And yes, I rode around the whole island in my pyjamas, don't judge me. Stay tuned for tonights drunken adventures. Somehow we've become regulars at Gili Frame in the twenty hours we've been on the island. When we walked in the singer annouced over the microphone, hello Danica and Sarah. Then the waiter took us to the front table. We enjoyed some food and multiple mojitos before we club hopped.We started at Beach Bum. Which got the swalla swalla Jason derulo song stuck in our head. We continued to Suma Suma which was live reggae music which we just weren't feeling. So we ended on the beach party where we met these Belgium guys, one of them claimed to be physic. He said I was twenty four and would fall pregnant at twenty nine, and I would have two boys and a girl. He also said I was from Portugal, that my name was Wanderlust and that I'm a Sagittarius. . . So I doubt he was right in anyway. Just my age was correct. Nothing else. I hope. It's our last day on this perfect little island today. So, we've started the morning with breakfast on the beach before hiring bikes to ride to the other side of the island for some more magically blue water. After our beach fix. . . Well more the fact we started getting sunburnt, we rode back to our side of the island and had lunch at a bar on the beach front called, Le Pirate. Delicious food and fresh squeezed fruit juices, so much better than boost. We're spending our last evening rotating pool side to beach. We'll have one last ride around the island and enjoy a few last drinks at Gili Frame. Wish we had more nights here. I'm enjoying island life. I think it suits me. The island, the bike, the ocean, the salt air, the good vibes has given me much prospective and have helped cleared my soul. Its time to close a chapter and open a new one. "Don't you ever say I just walked away, I will always want you. I can't live a lie, running for my life, I will always want you. I came in like a wrecking ball, I never hit so hard in love. All I wanted was to break your walls. All you ever did was wreck me."
September 21, 2017
Finding myself in Ubud
For months now, perhaps even years I've lost myself trying to be the perfect daughter, the best friend, the perfect girl that guys wants. And you know what I got? A permanent feeling of failure.A list of fake friends that want to just use me for their own benefits. And a broken heart. Don't get me wrong, I have amazing friends. Just not as many as I thought. I can count the people who care about me for me on my fingers. And I am tired of fake people and being used. I'm tired of not being heard. As I pack for my next adventure, I vow to find myself. I will be my best self, and until I find her, I vow to never allow someone to simple to fall in love with the idea of me. That is falling in lust and I admit I am guilty of this. But that isn't what I want. I will find my self and when I love my self I will be ready to put myself out there. Note: when getting dropped off at the airport, tell your lift the correct gate. Question: why does a six hour flight to Bali feel like a whole day? I read a whole book and listened to 100+ songs on my ipod and that only took up part of the flight. Its now midnight in Bali time as I crawl into our bed at the Y Resort in Ubud. I used my little Malaysian to thank the driver. The plan was to get up at six in the morning to begin the adventure early but this gypsy needs her beauty sleep so the alarm is set for 8am. Goodnight. 
The best way to start the morning is pulling back the curtains to a view. Followed by some fresh fruit and local cuisine for breakfast. On todays menu: fried rice. The day began at the Plantation. Its a coffee plantation most famous for its Luwak coffee. Its this cat possum looking animal that eats the coffee beans and digest it and from that they have this process if making coffee. Its meant to make the coffee taste delicious. I didn't have it this time but I didnt say no to the free tasting tray of other coffees and teas they make at this place. From chocolate coffee to rosela tea to white hot chocolate. Delicious. 
We continued on to the Tegalalang rice fields, it is one of the most popular places to visit in Ubud as it gives a beautiful scenic outlook of the ricefields. We walked through the whole field and even got slightly lost in the forest behind it where we recited, "Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!" But being in Bali we corrected it slightly, to "Luwak, Moneys and Bears! Oh my!" 
Next stop. Hindu temples.They were very busy because we came on a new moon and according to Hindu beliefs the most powerful time to pray to the Gods is during a full moon. Both temples we went to had the statues of the Hindu trinity. Creator. Preserver and Destroyer.Tirta Empul, meaning: Holy Water Springs. The first temple we went to, it has a stone pool called the purification bath when you stand with your hands pressed together and bow under the flowing water. Most temples in Bali require you to wear a sarong but this one also demands women on their flow must not enter and must also tie their hair up. The second temple was Taman Nusa which is technically a culture park of Bali's different religious cultures as well as Indonesia's heritage. You'll also notice most statues of the Gods will have black and white sarongs. Black symbolises bad, white represents good. It is balance and shows that nobody is perfect. 
We asked our driver what else he recommended that was in the area and he took us to this place called, The Hidden Canyons. It is a river with a stone wall that had created a master piece of three canyons. A two hour walk, swim (or just walking waist deep) and vertical rock climbing adventure which I mastered in a skirt and with no shoes. Yes I did fall over once and land in a water fall but that is not the point. It is a good story to laugh at. If you do come to Bali. I highly recommend it, I did joke that I thought I was going to die a few times but super fun, a great adventure. 
We got dropped off at the Ubud markets to look around. I totally forgot about the wolf calls. Guys, this doesn't work ever! Please note that. There wasn't really anything that captured our attention in the markets so we walked back to the hotel, using only the map, go us. We found this little vegetarian restaurant on the way made of bamboo, they had us take off our shoes as we entered then we climbed up the stairs to sit on the top floor that looked out into the street. The tables were close to the ground and our chairs were bean bags. Great way to end the day. Now for an early night as the alarm is going off at 2am.
I awoke to sirens going off in my room, or that is what it sounded like. It was just Sarah's alarm at 2am! Kill me now. Why did I agree to hike a volcano? As we began hiking, I realised I was going to die. What was I thinking when I put 'Wild' on my bucket list?! I mean I get it, nature gives you perspective, and start to a new life and a chance to get over someone you love and find yourself... I think that is what the book is about. But my new life would be death cause holy crap this is steep! And you think that wouldn't surprise me since its a volcano but apparently I didn't realise how steep it would be. Two and a half hours later I reach the top. Thank god. And as I watch the sunset rise I realised, I have no idea what I want to do with my life, no idea who I am and no idea how I'm going to survive my mental health issues but I realised my soul always knows what it needs. And who it needs, so I will always have hope. Because if I can't trust my soul, I have nothing to believe in. 
Now getting down the volcano is actually the harder part, and I slipped and fell on my butt, again. Twice in two days!! My butt hurts now... so do my legs! Holy crap man! But its a once in a life time experience. "People can live a hundred years without really living a minute." - Gilmore GirlsIt is only 9am and I'm already exhausted but we must not end the day here. We get some breakfast than continue on to Tibumena waterfall and enjoy the late morning sun with a swim under the waterfall. Though the hundred steps to get to it tested my legs after the hike. We did have some other plans for this evening but we are only human and are exhausted and sleep deprived so we are going to finish our day in Ubud by lazying in the pool, some yoga to stretch our exhausted limbs then find a Hawker Centre for dinner. Tomorow we island hop! 
The best way to start the morning is pulling back the curtains to a view. Followed by some fresh fruit and local cuisine for breakfast. On todays menu: fried rice. The day began at the Plantation. Its a coffee plantation most famous for its Luwak coffee. Its this cat possum looking animal that eats the coffee beans and digest it and from that they have this process if making coffee. Its meant to make the coffee taste delicious. I didn't have it this time but I didnt say no to the free tasting tray of other coffees and teas they make at this place. From chocolate coffee to rosela tea to white hot chocolate. Delicious. We continued on to the Tegalalang rice fields, it is one of the most popular places to visit in Ubud as it gives a beautiful scenic outlook of the ricefields. We walked through the whole field and even got slightly lost in the forest behind it where we recited, "Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!" But being in Bali we corrected it slightly, to "Luwak, Moneys and Bears! Oh my!" Next stop. Hindu temples.They were very busy because we came on a new moon and according to Hindu beliefs the most powerful time to pray to the Gods is during a full moon. Both temples we went to had the statues of the Hindu trinity. Creator. Preserver and Destroyer.Tirta Empul, meaning: Holy Water Springs. The first temple we went to, it has a stone pool called the purification bath when you stand with your hands pressed together and bow under the flowing water. Most temples in Bali require you to wear a sarong but this one also demands women on their flow must not enter and must also tie their hair up. The second temple was Taman Nusa which is technically a culture park of Bali's different religious cultures as well as Indonesia's heritage. You'll also notice most statues of the Gods will have black and white sarongs. Black symbolises bad, white represents good. It is balance and shows that nobody is perfect. We asked our driver what else he recommended that was in the area and he took us to this place called, The Hidden Canyons. It is a river with a stone wall that had created a master piece of three canyons. A two hour walk, swim (or just walking waist deep) and vertical rock climbing adventure which I mastered in a skirt and with no shoes. Yes I did fall over once and land in a water fall but that is not the point. It is a good story to laugh at. If you do come to Bali. I highly recommend it, I did joke that I thought I was going to die a few times but super fun, a great adventure. We got dropped off at the Ubud markets to look around. I totally forgot about the wolf calls. Guys, this doesn't work ever! Please note that. There wasn't really anything that captured our attention in the markets so we walked back to the hotel, using only the map, go us. We found this little vegetarian restaurant on the way made of bamboo, they had us take off our shoes as we entered then we climbed up the stairs to sit on the top floor that looked out into the street. The tables were close to the ground and our chairs were bean bags. Great way to end the day. Now for an early night as the alarm is going off at 2am.I awoke to sirens going off in my room, or that is what it sounded like. It was just Sarah's alarm at 2am! Kill me now. Why did I agree to hike a volcano? As we began hiking, I realised I was going to die. What was I thinking when I put 'Wild' on my bucket list?! I mean I get it, nature gives you perspective, and start to a new life and a chance to get over someone you love and find yourself... I think that is what the book is about. But my new life would be death cause holy crap this is steep! And you think that wouldn't surprise me since its a volcano but apparently I didn't realise how steep it would be. Two and a half hours later I reach the top. Thank god. And as I watch the sunset rise I realised, I have no idea what I want to do with my life, no idea who I am and no idea how I'm going to survive my mental health issues but I realised my soul always knows what it needs. And who it needs, so I will always have hope. Because if I can't trust my soul, I have nothing to believe in. Now getting down the volcano is actually the harder part, and I slipped and fell on my butt, again. Twice in two days!! My butt hurts now... so do my legs! Holy crap man! But its a once in a life time experience. "People can live a hundred years without really living a minute." - Gilmore GirlsIt is only 9am and I'm already exhausted but we must not end the day here. We get some breakfast than continue on to Tibumena waterfall and enjoy the late morning sun with a swim under the waterfall. Though the hundred steps to get to it tested my legs after the hike. We did have some other plans for this evening but we are only human and are exhausted and sleep deprived so we are going to finish our day in Ubud by lazying in the pool, some yoga to stretch our exhausted limbs then find a Hawker Centre for dinner. Tomorow we island hop!
September 17, 2017
LOVE IS LOVE: Vote Yes.
One day someone will fall in love with me, and me with them. It'll be magical and perfect and why didn't you find me sooner? But what if that person is a girl? Will society forbid me to marry the girl of my dreams? I don't know if I'll end up with a guy or a girl. But what I do know is when I fall in love to a person that returns the feeling, I want to be able to announce it to the world. Love is love, and its such a rare thing in this world so why make it a sin in so many relationships. We're all humans, and we deserve equal rights. But most of all, every person in this world deserves to feel what its like to be loved. And I'm still waiting for that, so on the chance the love of my life is a girl, please don't take this away from me. Vote YES.
September 4, 2017
Elsa is a metaphor for depression
As I was watching the disney movie Frozen this morning I felt as though I could relate to so much of Elsa's dialogue, her character was so familiar to myself which is crazy cause I can't control the weather, or can I? But as the movie went on, I realised that Elsa has depression. 
1. Conceal it, don't feel it, don't let it show The gloves that the King gives Elsa to hide her powers is like giving a person with depression medication or an activity to hide our feelings. Society tells us to hide our feelings and not say them out loud. 
2. Isolating herself in her room Elsa isolates herself in her room, afraid of the damages she could cause on those she loves. This is a big thing in depression, always feeling anxious and sad all the time and having to apologize all the time, a lot of the time we push people away believing they'll be better off without us. Depression also creates a desire to want to be alone.3. Why do you shut the world out? What are you so afraid of? Anna demands this of Elsa at the ball? She wants to know why they can't be how they were and why Elsa is so isolated. Elsa ends up lashing out revealing her secret. Depression isn't openly accepted in society so when people ask us whats wrong we tend to lie, feeling the person asking won't understand and if agitate to much we lash out in the moment. 4. Its funny how some distance makes everything seem small This song relates how I feel every time I travel. Getting away and being in a new environment, I don't feel as suffocated by society. In a new country when you don't know anyone your free, you don't have to worry about and protect those around you. She sings, I'm alone, but I'm alone and free. Even though we love the people in our life our depression likes to tell us that they would be better off without us. Its a daily fight to ignore this thought. 
5. I'm such a fool, I can't be free. No escape from the storm inside of me Elsa feels so trapped that she has given up and feels like she will always suffer. Depression often gives the feeling of there is nothing else. 6. Get it together, control it, don't feel, don't feel Those with depression try and suppress their feelings and just be numb for two reasons, to just not feel the pain thats always consuming them and to avoid hurting those they love. But often emotions are to strong and we find ourselves in isolation arguing with ourselves to not feel anything. 7. If you would just stop the winter. When Han says this to Elsa, she replied with, "can't you see, I can't,"Elsa believes that her powers have consumed her and she'll never have a normal life. And this feeling is the same for those with depression. They also tend to push away or lie and say they are fine because they don't know how to fix themselves and don't want to disappoint those they love and love them.
1. Conceal it, don't feel it, don't let it show The gloves that the King gives Elsa to hide her powers is like giving a person with depression medication or an activity to hide our feelings. Society tells us to hide our feelings and not say them out loud. 2. Isolating herself in her room Elsa isolates herself in her room, afraid of the damages she could cause on those she loves. This is a big thing in depression, always feeling anxious and sad all the time and having to apologize all the time, a lot of the time we push people away believing they'll be better off without us. Depression also creates a desire to want to be alone.3. Why do you shut the world out? What are you so afraid of? Anna demands this of Elsa at the ball? She wants to know why they can't be how they were and why Elsa is so isolated. Elsa ends up lashing out revealing her secret. Depression isn't openly accepted in society so when people ask us whats wrong we tend to lie, feeling the person asking won't understand and if agitate to much we lash out in the moment. 4. Its funny how some distance makes everything seem small This song relates how I feel every time I travel. Getting away and being in a new environment, I don't feel as suffocated by society. In a new country when you don't know anyone your free, you don't have to worry about and protect those around you. She sings, I'm alone, but I'm alone and free. Even though we love the people in our life our depression likes to tell us that they would be better off without us. Its a daily fight to ignore this thought. 5. I'm such a fool, I can't be free. No escape from the storm inside of me Elsa feels so trapped that she has given up and feels like she will always suffer. Depression often gives the feeling of there is nothing else. 6. Get it together, control it, don't feel, don't feel Those with depression try and suppress their feelings and just be numb for two reasons, to just not feel the pain thats always consuming them and to avoid hurting those they love. But often emotions are to strong and we find ourselves in isolation arguing with ourselves to not feel anything. 7. If you would just stop the winter. When Han says this to Elsa, she replied with, "can't you see, I can't,"Elsa believes that her powers have consumed her and she'll never have a normal life. And this feeling is the same for those with depression. They also tend to push away or lie and say they are fine because they don't know how to fix themselves and don't want to disappoint those they love and love them.
August 28, 2017
The places I MUST go! (25 destinations)
"What's your favorite place you've been?" Is a frequently asked question I get, but I can never anwser it, because I love different destinations for different reasons. However I do know where I want to go, thus I give you my bucket list. 
1. Moscow, Russia Every since I was a child Russia has fascinated me, its history and culture. I crave to go and see these historic sights and architecture town with my own eyes. The colours that radiates from photographs captivates me. I'd also like to jump over to St Petersburg while in the country. 
2. New York, USA "Welcome to New York, its been waiting for you. Its a new sound track, I can dance to this beat."Honestly, I just want to go to New York and eat. The restaurants they have hidden in those streets are just amazing. Plus I owe it to fifteen want to be a journalist old me to explore the city of print. 
3. Galicia, SpainMostly I just want to go to the Cathedral Beach because isn't it just breathtaking. Plus anything coastline is a must visit. 
4. Rio de Janeiro The seaside city of Brazil famous for its 38m statute of Christ. A colourful city in every sense of the word from its party crazed atmosphere to its infamous sunset. 
5. Ontario, Canada Well I'm a girl who loves chasing waterfalls, so Niagra Falls are a must on my list. And whilst in Canada, may as well get my snowboard out. 
6. Salzburg, Austria "Rain drops on roses and whiskers on kitten..." You can't go to Austria and not go to the home of Sound of Music, this movie is a classic. While in Austria, Vienna is also a must go.
7. Paris, France "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return." I know the Moulin Rouge in France is very different from the movie but I still need to go to the place that inspires my values. Plus the macaroons in Paris are to die for! 
8. Barcelona, Spain I've always wanted to go to Spain! And why not start in Barcelona! Plus I could listen to people speak Spanish all day, I love the language. 
9. Isle of Skye, Scotland I would just love to fly to Edinburgh, go to The Elephant, the cafe where Harry Potter and the Philosopher Stone was written then jump on the hogwarts express to the highlands to hire a car and road trip to the fairy pools in skye. 
10. Lapland, Finland I want to go to my own little version of Narnia where I sleep in a glass igloo, search for northern lights, husky sledge rides across the snow and land on my ass in snowboarding attempts. 
11. Playa del Carmen, Mexico A beautiful beach side city in Mexico. Plus I really want to do, Dìa de Muertos. Flowers, painted skull faces, celebrations of life and death. 
12. Amsterdam, Netherlands Put me in cute shorts, give me a map, rent me a bike and let me get lost in the streets of Amsterdam. If I get tired I'll cruise the canals back. 
13. Machu Picchu, Peru Take me to the Lost City of the Incas! I want to trek this trail and be free. 
14. Egypt Ancient Egypt fascinates me. Take me to the Valley of the Kings, Giza, the Sphinx. And lets hope I don't wake up any Mummys and doom the world. 
15. London, England Yes, I've already been here but I love it. If I ever lived somewhere out of Brisbane it would be London. I just feel so at home there. What can I say I just love them red phone booths and black cabs. 
16.Tuscany, Italy. I've been to Florence but there is so much more untouched potential for me to explore in Tuscany. 
17. Swiss Alps, Switzerland Get those betting books out boys. Me on the slopes is a combination of dangerous and entertainment. 
18. Venice, Italy I've gone to Venice in the summer before, but I really want to do The Carnival of Venice. Venetian mask, ball gowns, a festival of colours like no other. 
19. Florida, USA Lets be honest, I only want to go to Florida for Harry Potter world. After that I would probably jump on a plane and go to the Bahamas or Bermuda. 
20. Ireland Give me keys to a car and let me road trip this beautiful country and hopefully live out my P.S. I love you fantasy. And explore all the Game of Thrones shooting locations. 
21. Reykjavik, Iceland Thats a fun name to try and pronounce. Try to, I dare you. I want to try to Blue Lagoon in Iceland plus find some Ice Hotels and just explore. 
22. Puerto Vallarta, Mexico The hidden beach off the coast of Mexico. Mother nature took the ruins of this location and created a beautiful beach. 
23. Lord Howe Island, Australia A small island east of Port Macquarie. Beaches and forest and I'm not sure why i want to go here but I feel like it would be the perfect, relaxing get away. Leave the technology at home and reconnect with nature. 
24. New Zealand As well as being the home of Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit. It just looks like a beautiful country thats waiting for me to explore. 
25. MaldivesFuture honeymoon destination? This isn't my entire bucket list but this is the main places I must explore before I die. Do you have your bucket list?
August 24, 2017
22 Travel Tips
When you travel there are different rules than living every day life, if you forget to pack something you can't just drive home and get it, your in a whole different country. There are so many of these articles, but this is tips that I find help me. 1. Get to the airport earlyYou don't want to get stuck in last minute lines and risk missing your flight. The ladies at the check-in desk will not be sympathetic and they tell their friends the story of that person that missed their plane. 2. Carry-on helpful but not must have items - well for me they are a mustChange of clothes, just in case your hotel doesn't do early check in and you want to explore asap. Kindle and ipod, flights are boring and not all planes have tvs and I am not one of them lucky people who can sleep on a plane. 3. Packing clothes and still having room in the bag Packing cubes are a life saver and you should roll your clothes, not fold. It'll amaze you the space you'll save. Also inside of shoes, small things such as jewelry and socks and underwear fit in there nicely. Note: don't pack clothes that require ironing. Its a hassle when travelling. 4. Washing your clothes Don't waste time or money using a laundromat. Wash your clothes in the sink. Then you can pack less as well. 5. How to defeat jet lag If you arrive in the morning or during the day DONT SLEEP. Have a shower, drink lots of water, go explore straight away. Don't sleep till night time, its the quickest way to jump into a new time zone. 6. Comfort on a plane In general, flying isnt comfortable. Wear loose clothing. I usually wear my hippie pants and a baggy top. But do also take a jumper cause the plane always gets cold. 7. Don't over pack First, pack for your trip. Then half what your taking. Done. Like honestly, you don't need that second pair of heels. You only need one pair of shorts and one pair of jeans. I don't care if one is black and the other blue. Do black shorts and blue jeans or vice-a-versa. 8. Take photos over buying souvenirs While your their its all this is cute, I should buy it to remember the trip. But honestly, when you get home you never use it. Save money and don't buy souveniers. Take photos and make memories instead. 9. How to pack necklaces without tangling themStraws. Yes, you read that correctly. String the necklace through the straws and fasten them so they don't get tangled. 10. Ditch the pretty day wedges, pack running shoes. For one they won't break, the comfort factor is so much higher and you'll cover more ground. 11. Document your adventure Each night before you go to bed just jolt down your day. It may seem weird to waste ten minutes to write down what you did all day but one day you will want to read over it and remember it exactly as it happened. 12. Language differences, even in English speaking countriesEngland: chips and crisp America: fries and chips Australia: chips and chips Very confusing. And its not pleasant when you ask for a lemonade cause your hungover and are given a solo. And in England if you say you want to buy pants they might assume underwear. And thong isnt always a shoe. 13. Girls travelling alone Keep a small bottle of hair spray in your bag, just as effective and painful as pepper spray. 14. Learn key phases or heck learn the language Knowing how to say. "Hello", "No", "please", "thank you", and things such as that is always handy and the locals will appreciate it. 15. Don't use your dataGet a local sim card and live off free wifi. Heck I do that when I'm home in Australia. 16. Hide your money Weather it be having two wallets or keeping majority of your funds in the hotel safe/ your locked suitcase. 17. Dry shampoo .... is my saviour18. Ditch the books and get a kindle You dont want to waste luggage space on books plus kindle you won't run out of reading material. 19. Keep your photos backed upPhones are not trust worthy. Post on facebook or make a cloud. 20. Always keep the address of your hotel on youIts easy to loose your way in a country you don't know. Last thing you want is not being able to find your hotel. 21. Don't always dine outThere's three meals in a day, if you eat out for all three that is alot of money your spending. They do have supermarkets outside of Australia. 22. Research but don't overbook Have a list of things you'd like to see on your travels but don't forget to be spontaneous
August 22, 2017
A day in the life of depression (trigger warning)
Every morning when 'bang bang into the room' my alarm song goes off, I roll over and snooze it. As I lay there I feel empty, exhausted, like I never fell asleep. I'm tired, not because I didn't get enough sleep or because its been a busy week but because my soul feels empty and consumed in a dark ache, my heart is broken, my mind is blank and blurred so I doze back to sleep till the snooze button goes off reminding me that I have to get up. I sit up and list of reasons why I even bother, what is worth getting up for today, why am I still exisiting? I list of the reasons, its a small list but I focus on that. Oliver my dog rolls over and sees that I'm awake, so he jumps up and kisses me on the nose then bolts to the door insisting its breakfast time. I obey. For he is one of the reasons on my list. 
However I can't eat, so I just feed him. I enter the bathroom and hate what I see. No wonder everyone leaves. I pull my make up box out from under the sink and paint on a face. I smile and fake a laugh, hide my true self, this is the girl people want. Why can't I just be her always? Leaving the house, I kiss Oliver before locking up then get in my car when Taylor Swift or Ed Sheeran are usually giving me private concerts with my emotions.Work is always a rollercoaster of emotions, mostly I just feel numb. When its quiet, my mind gets up to its old tricks and tries to tear me down. When its busy, the customers control how I feel. The nice ones make me smile and have hopeful feelings. The rude ones make me agitated, angry or sad. Then there are the handful of customers that want my attention, they make me feel confident about my apperance but then a wave of doubt hits me, when they know me or get what they want from me. They'll leave. 
People say that exercise is a cure for depression, I would disagree but it helps. Unfortunately I don't like most forms of exercise, but luckily, I found. Rock climbing. And I always leave this place in a good mood. However the work out is probably only 45% of the reason I leave in a high. The people I climb with just make me laugh. And while I'm there its like with every joke or sarcastic comment, they hand me light to drown the darkness. 
I have alot of "friends" but that doesn't make me feel happy or loved. It just gives me more weight to drown. I have five friends I consider soul mates, another handful I value, perhaps a dozen family friends I trust and a quarter of my family I respect. The rest is just noise, more chaos to my already heavy mind. But that support system I do hold onto, they are my reason to keep living in this world that tries to destroy me. Its the end of the day and I'm driving home, before I know it I'm balling my eyes out cause the pain in my chest is just to unbareable. When I get home I hide in the shower crying until I feel empty and theres nothing left to cry. When I lay in bed I hug my body pillow and imagine its him, because that's the only way I'll get any sleep. Before I met him it'd be laying awake till early hours of the morning having a war with my mind. But thinking of him but not actually holding him makes my heart shatter more. 
Now I'm at war with my heart and mind. Which do I give the power to destroy me?
August 15, 2017
Exploring your own back yard
Everyone gets exciting when they talk about travelling, but do you explore where you live? Well this month, I decided to do just that. Why this month? Cause it is birthday month! I bussed it into Brisbane city and found my way into a tattoo parlor, Wild @ Heart. I got a small ocean wave on my wrist, because the ocean cures my soul. Whenever I'm lost or in pain, I flee to the ocean. I also got the moon cycle on the back of my ankle as hope that no matter how bad things get, tomorow is a new day. The following day I went to breakfast at a small cafe in Brisbane, Pantry HQ. 
I felt all pretty in my new dress from Forever New. Not my usual style but I'm looking for a change. This cafe has a delicious menu and they have lactose free milk so I can have hot chocolates! Winning. Sadness for the night plans, a truck exploded on the highway which caused the roads to be shut down which denied me access to the Gold Coast which were my original birthday plans. New plan! My friend Tiana and I bussed into Southbank and tried out this restaurant called Junk. 
We had vodka bubble tea cocktails and I tried the open bao buns. Which were like mini burgers bun bao instead of bread. It was delicious. Southbank is full of delicious restaurants with cocktails, always choose a menu based on cocktails. And food obviously. The following night I was taken to The Summit restaurant for my birthday. Its on top of Mt Cootha and has a beautiful view of the city lights, mouthwatering food also. To end the weekend, I had a birthday lunch with my best friends and my human at Corbet and Claude at Garden City. Haloumi Fries! Drool! How can you say no! Delicious food and my favourite people. What could go wrong? 
Instead of going back to work on Monday I had my cousin and neices arrive at my house from Malaysia. I see these beautiful girls maybe once a year so was so good to have them at my house. The two neices had never been to Australia before so we thought the first place to take them would be, Lone Pine. Meet our national animals among other furry friends. 
They cuddled Koalas, we feed the kangaroos and I became a wizard and held an Owl. His name was Woofy, cause he is a barking owl - his no hedwig but still super cute. Wednesday mornings in Brisbane City they have a farmers market, so we went and checked that out before having lunch at Miss Kay's - delicious burgers! And desert at I heart Brownies - hands down the best brownies ever! I need more now! 
We then decided to test the quote, shop till you drop. And that we did. Was exhausted and ready for bed by time we got home at 6pm! Next adventure. Movieworld!Adalia my nine year old neice wanted to go on all the rides. I took her on the Scooby Doo Roller coaster, Batman one that made our stomachs flip, road runner roller coaster and some new one that took us upside down! I did not realise that until we were already on it! Heartattack! 
Adalia and I ended our day by going rockclimbing at Crank in Mt Gravatt. All I had to do was put her on the auto balay and she had the hour of her life. Following week we decided to check out Bouce, which just sounds awesome when you look it up. A massive warehouse just full of trampolines. Childhood memories come at me. 
The family flew home but I won't stop exploring my home. Try new restaurants, go to places you haven't been before. Be a tourist in your own back yard, you might be amazed with what you find.
July 18, 2017
Lets cross the border
"It comes and goes in waves, it always does. We watch as our young hearts fade into the flood." 
There is something beautiful, captivating and memorizing about quotes, they always seem to capture my attention. And one of the ones that seems most relevant is that travel cures the soul. Which I can't help but feel is true, because everytime I go on an adventure, I feel my soul breathe. Unfortunately I don't always have the money to jump on a plane when my soul feels heavy. So why not explore my own country. Tiana and I jumped in the car, early on Thursday morning to go for a drive down south. We were crossing the border. But first. Coffee. Coffee. Coffee. Since A) its winter and its freezing. And B) neither of us are morning people. So now we had our coffee, we had avril lavignes first album playing in the cd player and we drove down the highway and out into the country roads. There's now words for it, just driving through the country, between the trees, driving around a place that humans haven't overrun. Mother nature in all her glory. We drove down to a small town called Lismore, its a very cute, old fashioned kind of town, where we found a darling cafe called, 'The Bank.'The intrigue of this cafe is that it used to actually be a bank and alot of the old structure and decorations from its bank days remain. 
We tossed up the idea of going to the beach on the drive home but knowing me I would have jumped in to the water and turned into a human popsicle. Instead we drove home where we had some guys in the car next to us try and pick us up. Poor P platers, good on them for putting themselves out their but this gypsy is taken. When we reach home I smile, knowing that today my soul took a tiny breathe. 
There is something beautiful, captivating and memorizing about quotes, they always seem to capture my attention. And one of the ones that seems most relevant is that travel cures the soul. Which I can't help but feel is true, because everytime I go on an adventure, I feel my soul breathe. Unfortunately I don't always have the money to jump on a plane when my soul feels heavy. So why not explore my own country. Tiana and I jumped in the car, early on Thursday morning to go for a drive down south. We were crossing the border. But first. Coffee. Coffee. Coffee. Since A) its winter and its freezing. And B) neither of us are morning people. So now we had our coffee, we had avril lavignes first album playing in the cd player and we drove down the highway and out into the country roads. There's now words for it, just driving through the country, between the trees, driving around a place that humans haven't overrun. Mother nature in all her glory. We drove down to a small town called Lismore, its a very cute, old fashioned kind of town, where we found a darling cafe called, 'The Bank.'The intrigue of this cafe is that it used to actually be a bank and alot of the old structure and decorations from its bank days remain. We tossed up the idea of going to the beach on the drive home but knowing me I would have jumped in to the water and turned into a human popsicle. Instead we drove home where we had some guys in the car next to us try and pick us up. Poor P platers, good on them for putting themselves out their but this gypsy is taken. When we reach home I smile, knowing that today my soul took a tiny breathe.
