Danica Peck's Blog

What I really mean when I say I don't want a relationship

When I was streaming facebook I found this poem or quote called, we're the generation that doesn't want relationships, I felt inspired and found some truth in it so I decided to rewrite it, more personalized to me. I want someone to wake up next to on a Sunday morning who will take me to breakfast for cute dates.Another person to pose in my instagram photos and hashtag: #sundaywithmyperson #himandi #lovehim #relationshipgoals Someone to take me to cheap Tuesday movies and have Friday netflix nights with. Some one to message me every day with a good morning and xo xo. But I'm the girl that says I don't want a relationship. I flirt and bat my eyes at hot bartenders and cute customers, but rarely follow through. I watch 'He's just not that into you' and 'How to be Single' to upcycle a person into a relationship like its a game. But I don't want a relationship. I text and I flirt. I snapchat and messenger. I post photos and wait for the like. I meet up for a drink, a coffee, but never a real date. Its a game of hiding our feels because the one who shows the most cards is apparently the loser. But do either of us really win. Well I suppose you believe you do the minute you get me into bed. I love the idea of a relationship but won't indulge into one. I want the closed curtain connection but not in public incase you don't plan to stay. I want the pretty promise yet I fear the commitment, or lack of. I want the emotional connection without the fear of getting hurt. I want to be in the moment rather than wondering if this is the last time. I want to leave the next morning without feeling used. I want a relationship but I want the freedom to be single. I want the illusion of being in relationship without commiting to one. I want the good moments without the risk of the bad times. I want to connect but not enough to get hurt. I make comments like, lets see how it goes, lets take things slow. But really? I have no fucking idea what I want. I'm just toying with my emotions.Hiding when things could get real because I don't want to be sitting in the car in the middle of the night crying with a broken heart. I want to hide behind my instagram filters. Bury my baggage six feet under. Let them believe my smile, believe my lie. While I'm in the dark screaming this is me! Then be mad at them for not seeing the real side of me. Though most leave when they see it. Because people dont love you for you, they love you for what they can get from you. I want someone that's there but I don't want to commit. I want someone to sleep next to but not be in a relationship. I want someone to sit on the couch with me and binge watch television shows.I hide in the grey area saying I am detached from my feels yet I wear my heart of my sleeve and I care to much. There are rules to this game called dating but why do I always fucking lose? Because the problem is, I do want a relationship, but the right one. The one where I risk it all, feel that spark and know it's meant to be. But I'm not ready to take that leap to find it.

Life on the Gold Coast

When nothing goes right, go left. That is what people say when you feel like your lost. Go left. But what is left? How do you turn left when you don't even know which way is right? Its my first night house sitting on the coast, and its a Saturday non the less. Do i get dressed up and explore the night life or do I curl up on the couch and watch Shameless? I voted the second option. I had a month here, many adventures to be made. "Don't you wanna get away from the same old part you gotta play, cause I got what you need so come with me and take a ride to the other side." The Greatest Showman is a movie I saw the other night and the story and song had a deep effect on me and have stuck within my mind. So it was without a doubt the soundtrack I put on upon waking. With the soundtrack playing in the background I began the morning with a swim and some yoga. I should try and make this a morning routine. 1. Blend Love @ Southport Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐This cafe is all about simplicity. No artificial colours, preservatives or highly processed foods. We're going back to basics with deliciousness. The menu is bowls/ smoothies, breakfast and lunch. I decided to go with a bowl, after yoga thats what I'm feeling, so I decide on a choc berry ripe bowl. Nevermind. Mind got changed at the counter. I chose a breakfast bowl and a vegan peanut butter chocolate cake. Yum!2. No Name Lane @ Broadbeach Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐Great coffee, good hot chocolates which you can order with zymil which makes my stomach happy and the fresh juices are absolutely refreshing, I recommend glow. The Mushroom Medley breakfast is absolutely divine. You know that meme of winnie the pooh dancing over his honey jar with happiness, that was me. Prices were reasonable and the staff were absolutely amazing, friendly and helpful and very attentive. I will definitely return here and I highly recommend it. 3. Steampunk @ Surfers Paradise Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐We started the night with an espresso martini. Vodka, coffee and something sweet, and in this case salted caramel. The first food item to come out was the garlic cheesy pizza, simple but a classic. Mikaela and I decided to share meals and got the fried chicken ribs, arancini balls and something else along those lines, but all were delicious. I am now in a food coma. I would reccommend this place, awesome atmosphere, friendly staff and a mouthwatering menu. Note: live music Friday and Saturday nights. 4. Draculas Haunted House @ Surfers Paradise I faced my fears. Spiders, Clowns and Sharks. Hell to the no. A walk through attractions with five floors of horrors. The first floor is zombies and mirror mazes which gives you the feel of someone following you. The freak show floor is clowns and crawling through the human body. The dead floor you expect things to jump out at you or eyes in the wall watching you like the Scooby Doo movies. And the phobia floor challenges you to your worst fears. We screamed three times in just the entrance to then realise we hadn't even started the floors yet.

Crystal Castle & Shambhala Gardens

Let's dance in style, let's dance for a while. Heaven can wait we're only watching the skies.As we drive over the border of New South Wales and into the winding path through the trees we find this enchanting place called Crystal Castle. The energy calls you into the exquisite surroundings. We begin by writing a wish and putting it on the wishing tree. We then do the walk of kora which is walking around the stupa three times in a clockwise direction. Tibetans believe that every wheel you spin is 13000 prayers into the universe. After sending countless prayers into the world, we took off our shoes and did a reflexology walk around a rose quartz. The crystal of love. We then wondered the forest and connected with some Amethyst before finding the crystal shop. Immediately the blue obsidian stone called out to me. It apparently helps with mental clarity, communication and telepathy. As I walk through the jewelry section a necklace keeps calling out to me. After walking past it several times I decide to buy it. It was a malachite stone which represents unconditional love, confidence, creativity, emotional balance and change. I think there was a reason this stone called out to me. In the saying shop til you drop we decided to sit in the lotus cafe for lunch, where we ordered a divine calming tea: chamomile, lime flowers, passion flower, vanilla bean and cinnamom. After lunch we decided to get our auras read. I sat in the chair had a photo taken then she had me choose a crystal so I closed my eyes and felt where the energy drew my hand. I chose a soladite which she said was a excellent choice cause it means I'm very open, intuition and understanding. She then showed me my colours. I was surrounded by yellow which is very open and happy and I draw people in with my positive energies of life and playful social activities. Yellow is very life positive, confident, social and happy. I also had orange which she said is very creative and artistic and open, which makes people like me and want to be in my company. That I have an urge to achieve and that I'm charming. She also said that my energy goes outwards which shares my energy with those around me and be drawn to energies but she also warned me to be careful and not give out to much of my energy and keep it to myself. I also had a red outline which states I'm passionate and determined. I am also violet centre of my chakras which says I'm very soulful and imaginative and have deep feelings and have intuition and inspiration and seek magic and enchantment. We ended our day walking through a bamboo stairwell, through a rose quartz circle and a photo in front of buddah. Well its not actually buddah. I need to research but honestly, this place is beautiful and it really cleanses your soul and energies. I'm a strong believer in this stuff and I understand alot of people aren't. But even if your not, this place is still beautiful.

Explorer of Food

This blog post is going to share restaurants I've discovered and tried this year. 1. Bin 931 @ Westfield Chermside Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐Westfield Chermside has a cute little cozy outside area that very much reminds me of Southbank, and hidden in the back is this restaurant. Which may just be my new favourite. Between Amelia and I, I'm pretty sure we've tried every single cocktail. And I love every single one of them. From the berry all night, to amaretto sour to an expresso martini to a moscow mule to a fresh prince. Each one is its own unique but delicious refreshing flavour. For the food, we started with prawn stuffed zucchini flowers and fried jamon and mozzarella balls which were both just YUM! I think I actually exclaimed this quite loudly and had the bartender laugh at me. And might I add, I don't usually eat seafood but them prawn stuffed flowers were delicious! For mains we then ordered stickly sweet and sour pork salad and braised beef cheek over gnocchi with mushrooms, spinach and white wine cream sauce. The pork was better than what you would get in a Chinese restaurant, not to sweet but just the right amount. And the beef cheeks were so tender that it would shred apart with a spoon and melt in your mouth. We ended our meal with a chocolate hazelnut mousse with a caramel sauce. The staff were very friendly and accommodating and all round helpful and professional. I would highly recommend this restaurant to anyone that wants a perfect meal out. 2. Whisky Business @ Capalaba Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐If you love Milkshakes and Macarons this is the place for you. Let me begin by telling you about some of the breakfast menu items. Doffle. A donut waffle with chocolate sauce, ice cream and hazelnut meringue. The one we ordered. Turkish Delite Crepes with rosewater syrup, strawberry purer, pistachio gelato and persian fairy floss. After an hour of writing to allow our stomachs to settle, we ordered some premium shakes. The flavours range from Peanut Butter Cups to Nutella to Red Skin and Wizz Fizz to Kit Kat. The flavour I decided on was Smores. You can't go wrong with chocolate and marshmallow right? A very good pro with this cafe. It has Vegan, Gluten Free and Dairy Free options for almost every meal on the menu, which makes it a excellent place if you have friends with dietary requirements. 3. Shinbashi Yakiniku @ Springwood Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐This restaurant is definitely an experience that you should try. Its a Japanese BBQ where you cook your own food, mostly different meats. They have a ALL YOU CAN EAT deal for $45 which gives you a try of everything. Personally I find it a little expensive but thats cause I dont feel I am able to eat my moneys worth but the experiences up for it. I even became adventurous and tried bizarre things like ox tongue and chicken hearts. Wouldn't probably eat it again, I mean it wasn't bad but not a favourite, but be brave and try it. Must try the lychee iced tea! 4. St Coco Cafe Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐A girl I used to work with introduced me to this place. Its a little hard to find because its tucked away in the corner of the car park. But once you find it, its a cute little breakfast cafe. From the crowd it was definitely a good little family outing. I started off the morning with a refreshing breakfast cocktail - fresh lemon juice, sparkling water, elderflower, grenadine, bitters, rosemary and blueberries. The menu all looked mouthwateringly delicious but what sold me on the place is they had treats for your furbabies. PupCakes and Hugos Icecream. 5. Kingsfood @ Sunnybank Rating: ⭐⭐⭐The first thing I notice on the menu is Watermelon Juice, that takes me back to my childhood in Malaysia. They are delicious. Though I decide to try something I dont know and get the Lychee Frappee. Also you apparently get a discount if you tag yourself on Facebook. Something to note. For mains we may have ordered to much food for our stomachs but it all looked so delicious. The first main to arrive was fried duck. Yum! I've never had much duck but it was good. Its a bit more oiler than chicken, not as dry. The next to arrive was the honey chicken and crispy beef strips cooked in sweet chilli which is good, but I feel like it needs something else with it, there is something missing. Honey chicken is a favourite wherever I go. Last but not least to arrive was special fried rice, which is just the fancy was of saying fried rice with multiple types of meats. The chilli and soy sauce didnt have enough of a kick, it was quite mild. Out of everything on the table today the drinks were my favourite. Though the meal was still delicious and I will return.

Finding the magic in Noosa

"Say something, I'm giving up on you. I'll be the one if you want me to. . . " When it comes to finding someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, feelings, emotions, well in truth, they often drive you insane and make you question the person looking at you from the mirror. But friendships, they are much easier. Its like, "hey human, do you want to human with me?" Well its not always that simple. But that is how my friendship with a girl at work began, and today was our first adventure together. Actually that is a lie. We had a rock climbing date and a movie/ facial girls night. But this was our first day trip, mini road trip adventure. Mikaela and I jumped in the car at 830am and began our drive to Noosa with Ed Sheeran and Keith Urban on the stereo. As we drove we talked about our childhood and worked out that my Mum and her Dad worked together at Rochedale Rovers FC at the same time. How insane is that, that we were both running around the same place as kids to be reunited years later. This friendship was meant to be.Two hours later and annoying holiday traffic we drove around the town of Noosa for fourty five minutes to find a car park. This adventure better be worth it. Fingers crossed. We finally found a car park that added twenty minutes onto our hike. So we stopped at Grill'd for lunch before we began. If you've never gone here before, delicious burgers. We began our walking up the hills and the views of the ocean were worth the two hour drive and chaotic parking situation. The ocean is just breathtaking and a vibrant blue, I couldn't wait to jump in. We hiked the national park of noosa with a destination in mind, the coves and beaches called to us be we were on a mission to find the offbeaten path that lead to Fairy Rock Pools and after a nice hot hour long hike we found this very path. Careful not to slip on the rocks we slowly made our way down into the rock pools. It was magical. If you can find this location it makes the hassle of the journey more than worth it. I would do it again. Once we got our ocean fix and some instagram model acceptable photos we journey back into town. We attempted shopping but everytime we found something we wanted to buy, the price tag made us go nope! So we ditched the shopping grabbed some mouthwatering gelato from Gelatissamo and made our way back to the car for the long drive home. We arrived home at quarter to six, which gave me fifteen minutes to shower, change and makeup myself. You know how guys complain girls take forever to get ready, in these fifteen minutes I even managed to get heels and fake eyelashes on, thank you very much. Its now 7pm and I sit in QPAC lyric theatre waiting to watch Mamma Mia on opening night, in which I also get to attend the after party. This is how I spend a day off after a month in which I worked two hundred plus hours. "Mamma Mia, here I go again, my my how can I resist you? Mamma Mia, does it show again - my my just how much I missed you?"

Getting my geek on at brisnova2017

The supanova events are always alot of fun. I remember the first one I went to back like five years ago, I spent to much money, met James Marsters, spike from Buffy who told me I was very beautiful. I blushed and went speechless. I believe it may have been at this Supanova that I also met the women who published my book. It was fate I attended that weekend. Last years Gold Coast Supanova was my first one selling my new published work at. And I made it memorable. The Friday after set up I went and had catch up drinks with another author Kimberley Clark. We had Sangria... and more Sangria... saw Jofery from game og thrones dance past us and then was joined by Richard and Jacinta Maree, a third artist.  More Sangria was ordered, jokes about Pop Tarts and Moo Moo was made. Jacinta and I stalked Daniel Sharman into a restaurant and interrupted his Hemingway, after that embaressing moment, more drinks and before we knew it, it was 2am and we stumbled back to our hotel rooms. Got up at six am, worked the day at Supanova just to repeat the night. It was an excellent first convention which I still laugh at. Here at Brisbane supanova. Covered in glitter, I prepare myself for my fourth convention.  I again ended out until all hours of the morning with Jacinta and Kim. Networked with new connections and caught up with artist and authors I hadn't seen in awhile. My favourite part about these conventions, is catching up with all the unique, amazing people that I only get to see at these things. I can't wait for the next one in April. 

Book Review: Soulless by Jacinta Maree

"We are the generation that laughs at death. Reincarnation. What was once considered a gift of immortality has become an eternity of nightmares." Just imagine being stuck in a world where you remember every life time as clearly as the one you were living. That would be chaos. Soulless by Jacinta Maree is set two hundred years in the future, where we as humans have begun remembering every life we've ever lived. Scientist came up with a bandaid cure called D400, it helps repress memories, but no one can find a cure until Nadia Richards is born. She is the first humam to be born without a past life and that makes her a possible cure. Nadia is a strong and likeable female lead with an attitude that makes you laugh while you read her story. When she meets Diesel, a man with some very psychotic personalities in his path, you become addicted, they do say we girls can't resist a bad boy, and that diesel is as bad as they come. You instantly crave to peel back the layers underlining his character. I finished soulless in less than two days, and the only reason it took me that long is cause work would have fired me if I hadn't shown up for my shift. Its fast paced, interesting, dark and twisty, keeps you on your toes and keeps you itching for more. It does unfortunately end on a cliff hanger which leaves you beyond frustrated and needing book two, however lucky for all you readers, book two is now avaliable.Soulless is a one of a kind story that I can't even think of another novel to compare it to. But I would recommend it to anyone that loves a good sci-fi, fantasy novel with a dark twist, and over the age of eighteen.  

There's no place like home

As I drive down the highway, the sunlight in my eyes, the call of the beach of the horizon and music playing from my radio my mind replays memories from Monday night. I went to the plough inn because Monday nights they have a rib special for twenty six dollars and the meal is so large that you can share between two people. There was live music so I chose a table near the stage and sang along to the words. I looked over to the bar and saw Steve smiling at me, instead of being embarressed of him catching me singing in public I just smiled back and kept singing. The table across from us requested the singer to play, waltzing matilda. Most random request but he agreed. And it was a beautiful moment, the whole venue sang along during the chorus.  Waltzing Matilda. Waltzing Matilda.You'll come a-waltzing matilda with me. He sang as he watched and waited till his billy boiled. You'll come a-waltzing matilda with me. I can't help but smile at the memory, the whole pub singing along with the singer. The guy that requested it sang along through the whole song.  Its a moment I look back on fondly. The destination of this drive today is Cabarita. A coastline town in NSW. It's a beautiful location.  Today will be my second time there. The first time was earlier thia year when I was bridesmaid to my childhood friend. The reason for this day trip is it was Mum's birthday yesterday. Yesterday I took her to this cafe in Capalaba, named Whiskey Business. We ordered Doffles for breakfast. Donut crossed with waffles. It was so good! This cafe also had a macron shop that had the best flavours, ranging from: red skin, lamingtons, clinkers and more. We then ended Mums birthday night at a little French Restaurant in Fortitude Valley called: Madame Rouge. It was a little expensive but great service, delicious food and amazing drinks. It caused us a little bit of a late start this morning, to many drinks last night but we are now on the highway. When we reached Cabarita we started with lunch at the Salt Bar Beach Bar and Bistro for lunch, the food was average but sitting out on the deck was nice. We then went to Mum and Dads hotel, Santai Resort, which is beautiful, I recommend staying here. I slipped into my swimmers and found my place next to the pool. When I got back to Brisbane I got girled up and headed into Fortitude Valley. I went to this nightclub called: Holey Moley. Its actually really cool. Its a putt putt range. I love miniature golf! I mean I suck but it was so fun. A golf range in a night club, whats funner than that.  After working up an appetite by losing at putt putt, we continued onto Les bubbles which has mouthwatering cooked to perfection steaks. And the creme burlee is to die for. We ended the night at Greaser where they play live music every Friday night, be sure to order a Whiskey apple. Everyone complains that Brisbane is boring but thats only if you don't go exploring.  

Your the sin I can't quit

I used to stand tall, a wild creature, with my heart on her sleeve and the world at my finger tips. But then I began dating. I've had many give me attention and court me, but only a few had ripple effects. I used to love the idea of falling in love, but it was also a gift, as I believed you could love many times but only be IN love once. And I was saving that. Back to my standing tall. Shaun, my grade twelve serious relationship. He cut me down. I lost myself. Stephen, an English pilot I met in Vegas gave hope again. Tom, an English on his working visa gave me my lust for passionate human contact. Cody, a friend from bootcamp made me realise I wanted a boyfriend that I could call my best friend. Joe shaved a bit more off in his attempt to cut me down. And as I thought I was on the path to standing tall again, I met Steve. A man I'd be noticing from a far for years, and from our first kiss I knew I was in trouble. And that gift that I was saving, I gave it away. If you saw all these guys, you'd think I didn't have a type. They are all very different in looks and personality. Except for one personality trait, they are all narcissist.  Which is bad for me, because I'm an empath personality. This is a deadly combination, because narcissist take where empaths give.See the problem? Steve. You were a surprise.I thought I'd gotten it right, finally tore myself away from the narcissistic personality, you were an introvert. And the exception. The rare narcissistic introvert.  When I met you and you asked me out for dinner. I was casually dating three people at the time, all of which I broke up with for you.  The first kiss at the end of the date, I decided, I was in trouble. The second date you introduced me to your dogs and actually called me the morning after. I knew you were the one. . . or so I thought. Five months dating, and then you declare us just friends. I'm addicted to you.  Your the sin I can't quit. You continue to make me crazy for you with your words and smiles. And when you hug me I feel like your everything I need. But while you break my heart by looking for other girls, I still have hope you'll realise one day its me. And even if we don't end up together, I think I needed to meet you.  I needed to discover that music, feel that love that the world is fighting for. Be with someone who is my best friend and makes me laugh and that I can have mind blowing sex with. Without meaning to, you became my favourite part of the day, and to this day you still are. I count the hours till I see you again. I think the saddest moment of heartbreak is the very instance in which you can feel your heart slowly ripping at the seam within your very core…when you feel your heart actually breaking.  I break every morning and afternoon, wondering what you are doing, what you are thinking, and what in the world I would need to do to get over you. You emotionally blue balled me. How could you? You claim to care about me and state that you need me in your life but if that were true you shouldn't have hurt me. You shouldn't have let me taste you as someone I wanted a future with. Now, our friendship has an expiration date, and we both know it.And while I dread that expiry day, I realize the harsh true, I would have been better off never having met you.  Because I will never understand how something so right, passionate, raw and electric couldn't work out. And I hope one day you realise I could have been the one, and I hope you regret losing me. Because that expiration date could be any day now. 

My feelings matter

"I made up my mind to keep my feelings to myself since they don't seem to matter to anyone else but me." My feelings matter. Perhaps alot of you forgot that since I dont put myself first often. I put you first, everyone else before me. And why?Because I don't want people to feel what I feel. Those unbearable feelings. So I stayed silent. Until now. I'm tired of being the broken girl with a damaged past. I'm sick of being haunted by memories of the abuse I've endured, sexually, emotionally and physically. I'm done being the girl who is to emotional or has all them mental issues like depression and anxiety. I'm over attracting narcissistic personalities into my life. Because all I do is give and all they do is take which drains my soul. I'm finished with people using me or leaving my life when they find "better" company to only crawl back later. And most of all, I hate that so mant people have made me feel like I'm not good enough. I'm done. I'm done with games. From now on I'm going to be a little selfish and put myself more often. And if you want me to be there for you, its now a two way street so learn to be there for me in return. And if you decide to walk away, were done, its goodbye forever. I'm human. I'm not a possession to claim. I'm not a prize to be won.I'm noy a toy to be used. And I'm not a doll you can dress up and change. I dont know who I am, but I know who I want to be. And if you want to be in my life. . . Friendship. Respect. Loyalty. Honesty. If your fake, knock on someone elses door cause I'm done.