What I really mean when I say I don't want a relationship
When I was streaming facebook I found this poem or quote called, we're the generation that doesn't want relationships, I felt inspired and found some truth in it so I decided to rewrite it, more personalized to me. 
I want someone to wake up next to on a Sunday morning who will take me to breakfast for cute dates.Another person to pose in my instagram photos and hashtag: #sundaywithmyperson #himandi #lovehim #relationshipgoals Someone to take me to cheap Tuesday movies and have Friday netflix nights with. Some one to message me every day with a good morning and xo xo. But I'm the girl that says I don't want a relationship. I flirt and bat my eyes at hot bartenders and cute customers, but rarely follow through. I watch 'He's just not that into you' and 'How to be Single' to upcycle a person into a relationship like its a game. But I don't want a relationship. I text and I flirt. I snapchat and messenger. I post photos and wait for the like. I meet up for a drink, a coffee, but never a real date. Its a game of hiding our feels because the one who shows the most cards is apparently the loser. But do either of us really win. Well I suppose you believe you do the minute you get me into bed. I love the idea of a relationship but won't indulge into one. I want the closed curtain connection but not in public incase you don't plan to stay. I want the pretty promise yet I fear the commitment, or lack of. I want the emotional connection without the fear of getting hurt. I want to be in the moment rather than wondering if this is the last time. I want to leave the next morning without feeling used. I want a relationship but I want the freedom to be single. I want the illusion of being in relationship without commiting to one. I want the good moments without the risk of the bad times. I want to connect but not enough to get hurt. I make comments like, lets see how it goes, lets take things slow. But really? I have no fucking idea what I want. I'm just toying with my emotions.Hiding when things could get real because I don't want to be sitting in the car in the middle of the night crying with a broken heart. I want to hide behind my instagram filters. Bury my baggage six feet under. Let them believe my smile, believe my lie. While I'm in the dark screaming this is me! Then be mad at them for not seeing the real side of me. Though most leave when they see it. Because people dont love you for you, they love you for what they can get from you. I want someone that's there but I don't want to commit. I want someone to sleep next to but not be in a relationship. I want someone to sit on the couch with me and binge watch television shows.I hide in the grey area saying I am detached from my feels yet I wear my heart of my sleeve and I care to much. There are rules to this game called dating but why do I always fucking lose? Because the problem is, I do want a relationship, but the right one. The one where I risk it all, feel that spark and know it's meant to be. But I'm not ready to take that leap to find it.
I want someone to wake up next to on a Sunday morning who will take me to breakfast for cute dates.Another person to pose in my instagram photos and hashtag: #sundaywithmyperson #himandi #lovehim #relationshipgoals Someone to take me to cheap Tuesday movies and have Friday netflix nights with. Some one to message me every day with a good morning and xo xo. But I'm the girl that says I don't want a relationship. I flirt and bat my eyes at hot bartenders and cute customers, but rarely follow through. I watch 'He's just not that into you' and 'How to be Single' to upcycle a person into a relationship like its a game. But I don't want a relationship. I text and I flirt. I snapchat and messenger. I post photos and wait for the like. I meet up for a drink, a coffee, but never a real date. Its a game of hiding our feels because the one who shows the most cards is apparently the loser. But do either of us really win. Well I suppose you believe you do the minute you get me into bed. I love the idea of a relationship but won't indulge into one. I want the closed curtain connection but not in public incase you don't plan to stay. I want the pretty promise yet I fear the commitment, or lack of. I want the emotional connection without the fear of getting hurt. I want to be in the moment rather than wondering if this is the last time. I want to leave the next morning without feeling used. I want a relationship but I want the freedom to be single. I want the illusion of being in relationship without commiting to one. I want the good moments without the risk of the bad times. I want to connect but not enough to get hurt. I make comments like, lets see how it goes, lets take things slow. But really? I have no fucking idea what I want. I'm just toying with my emotions.Hiding when things could get real because I don't want to be sitting in the car in the middle of the night crying with a broken heart. I want to hide behind my instagram filters. Bury my baggage six feet under. Let them believe my smile, believe my lie. While I'm in the dark screaming this is me! Then be mad at them for not seeing the real side of me. Though most leave when they see it. Because people dont love you for you, they love you for what they can get from you. I want someone that's there but I don't want to commit. I want someone to sleep next to but not be in a relationship. I want someone to sit on the couch with me and binge watch television shows.I hide in the grey area saying I am detached from my feels yet I wear my heart of my sleeve and I care to much. There are rules to this game called dating but why do I always fucking lose? Because the problem is, I do want a relationship, but the right one. The one where I risk it all, feel that spark and know it's meant to be. But I'm not ready to take that leap to find it.
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