Stuart Bone's Blog - Posts Tagged "technology"

I just thought I'd stop writing my novel for a few minutes to write up this weeks blog. It's just taken me ten minutes to get the bloody internet to open. That's before I try to copy the blog onto Facebook, Twitter and my Website. So much for technology. This damned wi fi makes everything take twice as long as it should.

I had a deadline on Monday for the radio show I'm sending scripts in to. That was the day the Hotmail/Outlook went down and all sent e mails just sat in the draft folder. Typical. I handled the situation as best I could...I panicked. Luckily I was reminded that I did have another e mail address that I could use to send the scripts in so that was okay, but I'd have been quicker to have printed the scripts out and got a train up to London to deliver them in person.

Actually that's not quite true...the printer is also on wi fi and that's had its up and downs too. With the internet wi fi, the receiver (or whatever it's called) is downstairs while my laptop is upstairs. Even though that shouldn't matter there is a partial excuse that I'm too far away to get a full signal. The printer has no excuse; it's two feet from my computer. How can it miss the signal? It's pretty much my laptop shouting over, 'Hey, print this' and the printer pretending it hasn't heard and turning away; its nose in the air.

I ended up buying a cable to plug in which is surely a backward step in technology. I might as well go back to a typewriter; that's instant printing as soon as a key is pressed. What the hell, give me a stone tablet and I'll chisel a script out quicker than the bastard printer can print one!

I've never been one to embrace new technology, it always takes me a while to catch up. You won't see me queuing to get one of these new phones that uses your face as security. What is the point of that? Is it too much to remember a four digit code to unlock your phone with? Will it work properly or will it be like trying to get a signal and you'll have people holding the phone at different angles, trying to get it unlocked.

"I'm just going to make a phone call; hang on a second will you."
"What are you doing?"
"I have to hang upside down and go cross-eyed for my screen to unlock."

What happens if you set it up when you have a spot on your face? Will it still recognise you once it's burst?

It could be disastrous for some of the old has-been celebrities who desperately try to claw their way back onto TV. Not only does the public no longer recognise them but their own phones don't either. That could send them over the edge.

I still remember the time I got a phone that had voice recognition on it. It was a new concept at the time and although the handset wasn't expensive, the hearing aid I had to buy for it was. It still never heard me correctly.

You have a new message.
"See, this, message."
Calling, Swedish Massage.
Nooo.

Oh well, back to getting this novel completed. I fancy spending the afternoon with pen and paper.