Victor Ghoshe's Blog

The Unthinkable Power of Reaching Out : Why You Should Call That Person Who’s Just Crossed Your Mind

By VICTOR GHOSHE

In a world driven by schedules and algorithms; in a world where around 67% of your calls are rejected everyday for no particular reason – it’s so easy to dismiss fleeting thoughts of people from our past. ‘I’m not in the mood to talk’ or ‘I’ll reach out later,’ we tell ourselves, only to forget when that ‘later’ comes. But what if those sudden thoughts aren’t random? What if they’re nudges from a hidden rhythm-cycle that bind us all? My personal experiences have taught me that acting on these impulses — calling someone just because they crossed my mind — can lead to transformative, even life-saving moments.

Let me start with an incident that remains etched in my memory. Years ago, during a medical emergency, I found myself at a loss for reliable support. Frustrated and desperate, I stood at my balcony – and unmindfully watched people on the road. Then all of a sudden a passerby’s typical spectacles and hair style brought out a memory of a childhood schoolmate — someone senior to me, and someone I hadn’t spoken to or had any connection with, through decades. He had become a respected doctor, though we had nothing common and no connection at all. On impulse, I collected his number from someone I knew and reached out immediately, unsure whether he’d even respond. Not only did he remember me, but he also stepped in with critical advice, full support and care that made all the difference during that crisis. One life was saved.

Had I not made that call, the outcome might have been very different. May be disastrous.

Another remarkable experience happened during the launch of my debut novel, The Job Charnock Riddle. For a new writer, securing a prominent figure for such an event seemed like an impossible task. But I remembered a chance meeting with one of India’s most brilliant actors, Sri Soumitra Chatterjee, years prior. On a whim, I collected his number and contacted him with my bold request. To my surprise, he not only agreed, but also invited me to his house to learn more about my work and my book without any hesitation and became a vital part of one of my most cherished milestones.

And then there was that evening when I couldn’t shake the thought of an old friend. We hadn’t spoken in years, and there was no logical reason for me to think about him then. Still, I dialed his number. As the phone rang, I wondered whether it was an intrusion or just misplaced nostalgia. When he picked up, I quickly realized it was neither. He was going through a period of deep personal distress and badly needed someone to talk to. That conversation, he later told me, became a lifeline at a critical moment in his life.

What’s striking about these events is not the outcomes themselves but the fact that they stemmed from simple, intuitive actions — reaching out without thinking twice. And while these experiences might sound serendipitous, they point to something deeply human: the power of connection and timing.

Psychologists often refer to this as “affective presence” — a person’s ability to be emotionally available to others. Yet I believe there may be an ancient wisdom at play here, one that doesn’t fit neatly into modern frameworks. Perhaps these seemingly random thoughts of people are signals meant to prompt us into action. Some might call it telepathy; others might see it as a subtle survival instinct that has preserved humanity over thousands of years.

In our hyper-connected yet emotionally distant world, we often overlook these cues. We assume relationships can be maintained by an occasional like or an emoji on social media or a forwarded meme. But genuine connection requires presence — even if it’s only an eight-minute-phone-call, a simple text, or an impromptu meet-up.

So, the next time someone crosses your mind unexpectedly, don’t brush it off. Reach out immediately, even if there’s no clear reason. Perhaps it’s fate aligning paths. Maybe it’s just a moment waiting for you to act. Either way, the potential impact is far greater than we often realize.

After all, those sudden impulses to connect might just be nature’s way of reminding us that survival has always been about more than just intelligence or innovation. It’s about empathy, timing, and keeping each other afloat through the unpredictable waves of life.

Victor Ghoshe, Feb 2025

Smells and Memories

There is a peculiar magic in smells — an alchemy that turns the intangible into a wellspring of memories, more vivid and enduring than any photograph or a journal entry. Growing up in Kolkata, my life was full of colourful smells – each one seamlessly woven in a chapter or two of my childhood. Even today, a fleeting whiff can hurl me back into a specific moment, where every lane, market, and season carried its own distinct aroma. Scents of my childhood, scents of my youth… scents of my day-to-day struggle.

Bhawanipur, for instance…..
In the 1980s, the city was being reshaped, and the first underground metro rail system was a marvel in progress. My school days were punctuated by the tang of earth being turned inside out—a mixture of mud, rusting metal, and the acrid smell of tar being laid. The excavation pits near Bhawanipur exuded a damp, musky scent that clung to my senses like my city’s humid air. It was a fragrance of creation, of transformation. Whenever I pass a construction site today, I’m swept back to those dusty or damp late afternoons, where progress had a smell of its own and from where – me and my sister could save a slice of it in our hearts along with the then popular smell of fish-fries at the Purna Cinema More – or
Ghari-More if anyone of you remembers.

Hazra More, with its eternal bustle, offered an entirely different olfactory feast. The Marwari chanachur seller next to the Radha-Krishna Temple, the omnipresent fire in their oven overflowing with fried besan chunks of unknown geometric shapes and peanuts and curry-pattas, coated the air with a pleasant, spicy scent. That distinct, hot fragrance carried promises of delight wrapped in old newspapers or in Thongas that also housed boiled-green-chilies coated with secret Marwari massalas. Even now, when I pass any mandir during the Evening Aarti, it’s as if I’m standing on that bustling bus-stop once again, jostled by the city’s unrelenting energy and drag the never-forgettable mix of chanachur massala smell in my lungs.

Christmas came early in Kolkata — or so it seemed whenever me and my sister entered New Market along with my Aunt and Ma. The smell of freshly baked cakes wafted through the old Hogg Market- they called ‘New market’, whether it was December or May. It wasn’t just any cake; it was that uniquely Kolkata blend of soft fruit cake, caramelized sugar, along with a major dose of butter in the air. Walking through the lanes of New Market was like entering an eternal winter celebration, and even today, the scent of a Christmas cake is enough to bring in the collage of elderly shopkeepers in brightly lit stores with welcoming glint in their eyes.

Cinemas, too, had their stories to tell. New Empire, Globe, and Lighthouse — these were not merely theaters but shrines of collective joy. The unmistakable aroma of freshly popped popcorn, tinged with melted butter, would hit you even before the ticket checker tore your stub. Sitting in those red upholstered seats, the buttery scent became part of the experience, inseparable from the flickering silver screen…. A smell that wouldn’t allow us to seat with an additional excitement of a meat-roll that our father would bring in during the interval, for which he would off-course miss a considerable part of the film – but that was his way of saying ‘I love you’ to his kids and his family.

And how could I forget the kebabs of Mullick Bazaar? The smoky aroma of sizzling meat mixed with the sharp tang of onions and chilies was both intoxicating and grounding. Even as a child, and then later as a college-goer, I recognized this smell as an emblem of the city’s culture-blend — a heady Mughlai and Bengali massala-mix that satisfied taste buds of almost any and every non vegetarian homo sapience.

Rashbehari Avenue was fragrant in a gentler, more poetic way. The rajanigandha flowers sold in roadside stalls exuded a sweet, melancholic aroma that seemed to seep into the very fabric of the place. I still remember my aunt carrying dozens of those flowers on a birthday in the family and on days when she remembered her parents and grandparents who left years ago. The Rajanigandha scent stayed with me and often in Delhi, I find it mingling with the smoggy air of a specific November morning, a day – when they say I was born eons ago. But, then again, I know it’s just my memory playing trick with me, as that typical flower is scarce in the dryland of the national capital region and above all, no one knows that I still am carrying that smell in my heart today.

Golpark, in contrast, was anything but subtle. The aroma of egg rolls, and at times meatballs being fried in hot oil was unapologetically bold.
Egg, paratha, and spicy sauces combined in a medley that made resisting temptation impossible. The scent alone was enough to make one salivate. No trip to Golpark felt complete without succumbing to its allure. And then a stroll through the heady smell of old books; a roll-of-heaven in your hand – with melting pieces of chicken in your mouth.

And then, there was Burra Bazar—the city’s mercantile heart. I remember visiting this place for some reason with my father when I was seven or eight – may be to buy firecrackers. But somehow I remember the chaos the thick voices of porters and smell of human sweat in the crowded alleys. But, above all I remember the aroma of tea – cooked in thick milk emerged like a thread of continuity through each and every corner of the place. And believe me, till today I have saved that joyful smell in my heart as a warm, rich, and reassuring smell. A moment of solace and delight in the cacophony.

Two fragrances stood apart in my memory: the “warm Pujo smell” of Anandamela Pujabarshiki in my hands and the smell of intoxicating “chhatim flowers” during the Pujo. Chhatim tree with its tiny star-like flowers, released a fragrance so heady and heavenly that it seemed to echo the chants and conch sounds of the season. It was a smell that marked the passage of time, from monsoon’s end to autumn’s arrival. Similarly, flipping through the pages of Anandamela — its freshly printed ink mingling with faint, almost cinnamon-like warmth — felt like holding the scent of Pujo itself in my hands. But this one’s just a memory now.

Smells are our most primal sense, bypassing logic to reach the core of who we are. For me, the smells of Kolkata are not mere recollections; they are living, breathing parts of my identity. They carry the city’s spirit — its chaos, its charm, its resilience…… my sweat, my passion, my resilience.

Aaahhh…. I am not done yet, I wish to add a little more…
my den, my home – Maddox Square Park, smelled of heavenly Naag-Keshar flowers at its south-eastern side throughout the year. And during the lazy March and the easy summers the north-western side of the park smelled of Bokul.
I remember, the Bokul tree was never leafless, and the Bokul flower’s faint, woody fragrance was almost imperceptible at first, but once noticed, it lingered, as delicate as the dappled sunlight on the grass. Bokul, to me, symbolises the quiet joy of discovering beauty in small, overlooked moments.

You never know – a five year old me with my three-and-half-year-old sister might still be collecting the fallen ones beneath the tree in our small flower-bags at the north-western corner of the ‘park’. A park that was almost our household lawn. And…. may be,
when we’ll be back home today evening, me and my sister, like always will keep them on a China plate and sprinkle a little water for a little more fragrance.

Yes, smells hold memories. Much more than we think. And in the quiet moments when a familiar fragrance resurfaces, it feels like my city from my childhood is whispering to me, reminding me of home.

Victor Ghoshe
21st Nov, ’24

Learn to trick your brain to feel happy…

Article : Centre for Behavioral Sciences & Social Impact

Fake it ’til you feel it? That’s what researchers at University at South Australia say could help when you’re feeling down.

According to a recent study published in the journal Experimental Psychology, researchers found smiling — even a fake smile — can have positive impact on mood. Essentially, triggering certain facial muscles by smiling can “trick” your brain into thinking you’re happy.

“When your muscles say you’re happy, you’re more likely to see the world around you in a positive way,” Fernando Marmolejo-Ramos, study author and human and artificial cognition expert at the University of South Australia, said in a press release.

To conduct the study, researchers asked 120 participants (55 males and 65 females) to smile by holding a pen between their teeth, which forced their facial muscles to replicate the movement of a smile. 

They found that facial muscular activity not only altered one’s facial expression but also generated more positive emotions.

Marmolejo-Ramos said the muscle movements of a smile stimulate the amygdala — the part of your brain that allows you to feel emotions — by releasing neurotransmitters “to encourage an emotionally positive state.”

“For mental health, this has interesting implications. If we can trick the brain into perceiving stimuli as ‘happy,’ then we can potentially use this mechanism to help boost mental health,” Marmolejo-Ramos said.

Research from New York-based neurologist Dr. Isha Gupta also found that the mere act of smiling can increase levels of hormones like dopamine and serotonin in the body.

“Dopamine increases our feelings of happiness. Serotonin release is associated with reduced stress. Low levels of serotonin are associated with depression and aggression,” Gupta previously told NBC News.

What’s more, another 2009 study from researchers at the the University of Cardiff in Wales found a small group (about 25 people) of botox users were happier on average because of their inability to frown compared to those who could frown. While other studies link smiling to lower blood pressure and longevity.

In a nutshell, said Marmolejo-Ramos, there is a strong link between action and perception.

“A ‘fake it ‘til you make it’ approach could have more credit than we expect,” he said.

Source: cnbc

The ultimate cocktail for a summer party – The Long Island Iced Tea by Victor Ghoshe

[image error]The Long Island Iced Tea – You serve in a pitcher.

Made with tequila, rum, vodka, gin, and triple sec. It packs a real punch!

I always used to think there is tea or iced tea in a in the Long Island Iced Tea. It is simply the color of iced tea. This is critical knowledge to have if you plan to drink one. Or three. Or five, because not knowing this small fact might get you in a whole bunch of trouble.

To me, the Long Island Iced Tea is an ‘inquisitive cocktail’.

Theoretically, it shouldn’t taste all that good considering how many different liquors are being mixed together.

But then again it does!

The triple sec (an orange-flavored liqueur), lemon juice, and cola bind everything just perfectly. This cocktail is an easy one to throw together in a big pitcher for a party. I wait until just before the guests arrive, then mix everything together in a bowl with ice. Strain it into a pitcher and serve!

The step of mixing with the ice helps to quickly chill the drink and adds just the right amount of dilution to the finished cocktail.

Recipe of the Long Island Iced Tea

Time to prepare : 5 minutes
Yield                      : 8 to 12 cocktails

One can buy prepared simple syrup for this recipe or make it yourself! Combine equal parts sugar and water in a small saucepan over medium heat (1/2 cup of each will make a good amount). Bring to a simmer and stir until the sugar is dissolved. Cool and refrigerate; it will keep for several weeks.

The Long Island Iced Tea Ingredients

1/2 cup tequila blanco (silver, blanco, or white)
1/2 cup white rum
1/2 cup vodka
1/2 cup gin
1/2 cup triple sec
3/4 cup lemon juice
3/4 cup simple syrup
1 1/2 cups cola soda
Halved lemon slices for garnish

Method:

1 Mix and chill: Fill a large bowl with ice. Add the tequila, rum, vodka, gin, triple sec, lemon juice, and simple syrup and stir until the mixture is well-chilled.

2 Strain the mixture into a pitcher and add the cola. Finish with a quick, short stir.

3 Serve: Pour individual drinks into highball or hurricane glasses filled with ice. Garnish with lemon wedges. Feel free to top off with a splash of cola, if desired. Serve.

My Grandpa told me about two of his favourite Variations of this drink:

Texas Tea: Add 1/2 cup of your favorite bourbon whiskey to the recipe. (Strangely, one would think this would make it a Kentucky Tea?) Best sipped outside while doing absolutely nothing.

Long Beach Tea: Substitute cranberry juice for the cola for a fruitier and more intensely tart version of this cocktail. A novel option for backyard cookouts.

The author is a travel, food and cocktail enthusiast

 

The Old Lake by Victor Ghoshe

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A Short Poem in ‘F Major – Victor Ghoshe

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The Old Song Tower

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Victor Ghoshe

21.01.2018

You Are, What You Are

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You Are, What You Are

Let there be fresh air

Let there be ease…

Let there be warmth and care

Let there be a nice breeze

Let the eyes wander

Let the beauty be seen

If the pain still scrunches your face

Let out a scream

Shriek out loud

till the pain is gone

The darkness’ll go my friend

And there’ll be a new dawn

You are the word and you are the theme

You are the art and you are a dream

You are the path and you are the walk

You are the sheath and you are the tomahawk

These are the thoughts you put in a jar

These are the words that’ll heal your scar

Focus on the journey

and never lose your sight,

You don’t need to pick a fight…. just keep walking

and things will be all right.

Victor Ghoshe

17.01.2018

 

10 Steps to Writing a Winning FB Post

Notes on FB – A New Strategy to Get Better Visibility

Many of us have probably observed the increase in the number of Facebook Notes that are floating around these days. More people are becoming aware of the potential to gain massive viral exposure by writing notes and participating in discussions.

As a keen observer I always wanted to reach out to people. I always wanted to connect with people to converse, to learn and share things that I am interested in. I believe over the last 10 years many of us have also been responsible for bringing many people much closer together creating real sense of community and communication through meaningful online conversations.

Build Solid Relationships

These are much more than just social events, or blog posts to get traffic or publicity, most people who are taking part are actively using Facebook for business and by exposing themselves with such honesty and transparency they are building real connections and solid relationships with all the other participants.

What is most interesting is the depth that some of the discussions are reaching and when posed with a stimulating question or issue to address the original post acts as a springboard to dive into and explore each topic.

 

Increase the Value of Each Note

The value of the Note increases as more people add their own personal insights. The way Facebook have structured the system it forces the most popular notes to the top of your newsfeed so there is a huge potential to get massive exposure for yourself or your business if you understand some of the basic principles behind writing a good note and spotting the ones that are going to become popular.

1 – Choose A Controversial Topic and Get Personal

Sometimes this is the hardest thing to get right, follow other notes and see if there is a theme emerging that you can write about. If you are stuck for ideas pick something that is happening in the world and reflect on its impact or the lessons that can be learned or find a quote or article from your favourite author and add your own personal understanding. Getting personal is the key to successful Facebook notes. All the best ones I have read have revealed something interesting about the author, this creates a real bonding and sense of intimacy.

 

2 – Write A Short Effective Article That Ends With A Question

This will stimulate people to respond. If your note becomes too long and convoluted you will lose your readers. Consider breaking a long note into a series of shorter ones. Most people don’t have the time to read a 3000-word essay. My Blog writing theory is based on the 4 Es– Engage, Entertain, Educate and Enrich. Make sure your note ticks these 4 boxes.

 

3 – Keep to The Point, Make It Short And Sweet

Don’t ramble and discuss 2 or 3 different subjects in one note, this will confuse people. Keep it short and sweet. Respect your readers time, edit your note down and only include what is absolutely essential to get your point across. You can always add more later in the comments section

 

4 – Make Your Note Attractive

This means have good formatting, use subheads and break your note into manageable chunks. Pictures make the note more visually appealing and can give your note a stickiness factor.

 

5 – Tag People Who Want To Participate

Its no use tagging all your friends who are too shy to write something or are too busy to even read the note. Tag the people who you know like to participate and are regular commentators. Some people also like to tag those people who have big networks or who are centers of influence. This works well as long as what you write is appropriate and as long as you feel you have permission to do this. Not everyone wants you to use their wall and their newsfeed to spread your message so be respectful and consider asking permission first.

 

6 – Release Your Note at The Optimum Time

I have noticed that for my network, Facebook activity drops over the weekend, and is highest during the weekdays.  It’s up to you to know your own network and when the peaks of activity are as it may vary considerably. Get the timing wrong and your note will get pushed down the newsfeed and no one will notice it.

 

7 – Comment on Your Own Note and Participate

Always get into the habit of commenting on your own notes and refer back to what other people have written. Become a regular participant in other people’s notes. Build a reputation as someone who adds value and always has something interesting to say, if you do this then other people will start to tag you in their notes. Which will increase your viral visibility.

 

8 – Press the Share Button

Sharing is a way to vote up the best quality discussions and expose them to the widest possible audience. The note will be posted to your profile page and will also be pushed out into all your friends newsfeeds. Pressing the share button because you feel obliged to reciprocate isn’t a good strategy. You will not build a reputation as someone to follow and pay attention to if you spread inferior quality articles and information. Press it because it has added some value and you think your friends will appreciate it.

 

9 – Use Feedback and Build on Success

You know when you have written a good note by how many comments you receive and how many people press the share button. This is important feedback and it’s a valuable exercise to look at your notes and work out what elements made one note more popular than another. This way you can build on your success and continually strive to improve. My article “Why do we need an Experience Budget before a Possession Budget,” was a good example of this process. If you write a note and no one comments go over this checklist and see what areas you could improve upon.

 

10 – End with A Call To Action

Invite your readers to your Blog or Website, to follow you on Twitter or to check out your latest book. Ask them in a casual conversational manner in the same style as the rest of your note. Suddenly switching to a hard sell might create a disconnect and you might come across as a wolf in sheep’s clothing. This is also the case if you have too many outbound links to your own products and services. By all means include them but keep them to a minimum and be subtle about how you present them. If you comment on a note and just promote yourself without really taking part in the discussion you will might get viral visibility but it will be for the wrong reasons.

Victor Ghoshe

12 January 2018

See, what has happened to us…

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See – what fate has done,

We were walking our own paths

and one day we came along…

for a single hope, for a destiny unknown

we kept walking, and yet we felt at home.

Then the dreams came – vivid and clear

and there was nothing to fear…

 

It was Love; it is Love

and Love shall always be…

with us, as the key…

for us to be together…… as the breather,

for both the hearts…. Love outsmarts…

us all…. and we suddenly feel small.

 

we are brought together by fate,

But it is Love which made us true soulmates

 

See – what Love has done,

It took two of us and made us one….!

 

02-01-2018