Allison Hurd's Blog, page 4

Screw Beach Ready, I Want Sleep Ready

It’s gorgeous outside for the first time in weeks, so this will not be a long post. As far as book three goes, it’s inching along. I want to make sure I’m completely satisfied with the story I’m telling, and apparently I’ve gotten more persnickety, because it’s taking forever. Yes. I know. I’ve had words with myself about it, and that jerk told me that if I didn’t like it, I could do it myself.

The nerve of me!

In the meantime, I’m preparing myself and my yard for summer, which has a lot of baggage around it. I want a Martha Stewart backyard and tanning confidently at the beach and that “easy summer living” I keep seeing in magazines but can’t seem to find because I refuse to pay people to maintain plants for me and I spend all my time at the gym in the hopes that I look effortless when I wear sundresses around the garden I curse at on the reg. It’s got me thinking why we do this to ourselves. Unfortunately, I came up with a whole host of reasons I prioritize doing things for my health.

So, as I prepare to go throw mulch around and brave spiders in the wild, here are some reasons to workout that don’t involve weight loss.

Carry all the groceries in one trip (what you need to workout: lats, shoulders, rhomboids)
Sprint upstairs to be first in line for the best seats/bathroom/meet and greet (what you need to workout: quads, hamstrings, glutes)
Headbang in stilettos (what you need to workout: this is a full body move. Focus on hamstrings, rhomboids, core strength, and quads)
Stand up without making stand up noises (quads, glutes, core strength)
Better sleep (no particular muscle group, unless you have one that really bothers you. Exhaustion is great for sleep)
Better non-sleep bed activities. (This is dependent on what those are for you, full body is a good place to start)
Loudly yelling at the sporting event/reality tv show of your choice. (what you need to workout: conditioning)
Changing the station on the radio while the car is going over bumps without getting tired or accidentally hitting some other weird setting on the dash that then starts dialing people from your phone even though you didn’t realize you’d connected to Bluetooth. (Back, shoulders, triceps)
Trying complicated new hair-dos (or cutting/buzzing your own hair) (ditto #8)
To have reasons not to go to events you don’t like. (things to workout: your rueful expression and your best gym-selfie pose)

 

 

The Real Villain Is Patriarchy

This post contains spoilers for The Last Jedi and Avengers: Endgame.

Please read on at your own risk.

No, seriously, not only do I talk about things that happened in these movies, I also will be sharing thoughts that might either make you see things slightly differently and then you’ll be sad like me, or you’ll think I’m an complete cad, and then be mad at me, and neither of those are something I am asking you to embark upon lightly. I’ll put some hold music here so you can mull over your decision.

Still with me? Okay. Awesome! Then let me further say, my goal here is not that you shouldn’t enjoy these movies. My goal, as someone who tells stories, and a feminist, is to consider what narratives we’re sharing, what that communicates, and perhaps allow us to reflect on how we might leverage this knowledge for new stories in the future. Please, like things and honor them, but let’s also recognize that as many steps as we’ve taken towards equality, we’re not there yet, and it’s something that can be seen from anywhere on the map.

Let’s do a recap of some key plot points in these franchises.

In The Last Jedi, Poe starts with some daring heroics, disobeying direct orders from his general but taking down an Imperial Dreadnought. During this time, a tracker device is placed upon the Rebel flagship which allows the Imperial army to track them through hyperspace. This then sees an attack on the fleet which kills off (or almost kills) all leadership, and we’re introduced to Vice Admiral Holdo, who makes it clear very quickly that she is not General Organa, and does not find Poe nearly as cute as he finds himself. She tells him to sit down, but that isn’t a command Poe knows.

I do not sit. I will not roll over. I only bite.

So, when Finn and Rose come to Poe with a plan to turn off the tracker, he is comfortable not sharing that information with his admiral. The three conspirators set up a scheme to meet a master codebreaker on a capitalist paradise world, and instead of following the rules that allow them to keep a low profile, Finn and Rose are bustled away to jail because of a parking violation.

There, they just so happen to meet and trust a fellow prisoner who says he’s also a codebreaker who oozes untrustworthiness–who even says he shouldn’t be trusted. Be that as it may, he helps them turn off the tracker and helpfully gives a “both sides are the same” speech while the Vice Admiral makes tough decisions about casualties and reserve supplies.

Unable to stand it any longer, Poe demands a plan, and is told, again, that the grown ups are busy, so he may take any seat he’d like except the admiral’s. And, as I suppose his knees don’t bend, he mutinies instead. The mutiny is ended when Leia wakes up and shoots Poe in the face. Then both women, now condemned to picking someone to die for whoever’s still alive after Poe’s stunt, say how great a guy he is and then explain how they’ve had a plan all along that would get minimal people killed while they got to safety. And, despite Poe’s best efforts, he sees that “it could work,” and lo and behold, it does.

There are other things happening, important for the growth of the characters we’re following, but this is the central plot, the one that drags everyone else in. In short, Poe doesn’t want to listen to his General, and doesn’t like his Vice Admiral, a striking, soft spoken woman who doesn’t lovingly shake her head at him when he does his hero antics, so he works against both women as if he knows better at every turn.

In Avengers: Endgame, we have a bunch of traumatized heroes trying to figure out what to do now that Thanos seems to have won. They find the stones are gone and must undergo a time travel heist to unravel the problem. In a cutesy twist of fate, all of the original Avengers–Cap, Iron Man, Thor, Hawkeye, Hulk, Black Widow–have survived the snap, joined by Antman, Rocket, Nebula, War Machine, Captain Marvel, and kinda Pepper Potts/Rescue.

Each time-travel destination is meaningful to the characters there, with Black Widow and Hawkeye finally settling their debts to each other. Nebula realizes that her past-self can access the files of her current-self, and no one decides to do anything about that despite being warned. They then all reconvene at the Avengers Headquarters sans Natasha and prepare to deal with a woopsie that brought Thanos into their current timeline, which is hijacked by old-Nebula, who is then killed by current-Nebula in the fight to get the gauntlet to someone who can use it.

It’s decided that the Hulk is the strongest candidate, and he snaps everyone back, beginning a literal “passing of the gauntlet” through the heroes of subsequent MCU storylines until finally it ends with Tony who uses it and dies from the magical energies within, thereby sacrificing himself and killing the entire army that Thanos had brought with him.

You’ll notice that nowhere in there is there mention of Captain Marvel’s abilities even though we know that she’s alive and still fighting. We’re given a blow off as she explains she’s trying to keep the rest of the universe together, too, and then the Avengers merrily begin doing their own thing without her. There wasn’t a call out to her to say they were about to mess up some time streams so maybe to hang out around Earth, or a request that she use her dreadnought-destroying fist to snap back at Thanos, or even that she use her highly advanced alien soldier skills to become the new leader of the Avenger Reservists like Rhodey, Sam, Bucky, Scarlet Witch, and Okoye.

It seems to me both franchises have–I suppose inevitably–come to the point in their attempt at inclusion as most institutions run by men.

In real life, most men do not see themselves as “women haters.” They would not hit a woman. Likely the worst word they’d use about one is “bitch” even if they think something else. They love and respect their wives, mothers, sisters and/or daughters, and will, in surveys, explain that they have no problem with strong women and support women in positions of power.

At least in the abstract.

In real life, there is a strong correlation between women CEOs and companies performing poorly, which is often used to perpetuate the belief that, for whatever reason, there just aren’t as many women who are qualified to lead. But studies show that this isn’t about temperament or biological weaknesses or anything like that. Indeed, the larger reasons seem to be that most boards won’t support a woman in leadership until things are so dire that even the craziest of plans must be considered–crazy plans like women taking charge. And, even when they’ve conceded there’s no way around this, the only person who’s willing to pitch in wears skirts and won’t let you mention that to her, they’re more suspicious of her plans and less willing to help brainstorm or enact her vision. And so, the ship sinks, and the captain with it, except when the captain’s a woman, people remark how women are always bad luck on ships, it’s just a fact.

Love us as a silent figurehead, condemn us as a captain.

These franchises have sold this story to us, too.

They don’t hate women. Women have been part of every Avengers and Star Wars movie, in different roles, on different sides, and each got at least a second in the spotlight. Women with awesome powers, women in command–generals, even! They’re so welcome on the team. They’re even welcome to lead meetings and award commendations or call out coordinates to their soldiers. But at the end of the day, no one thinks to listen to her if a mediocre man with confidence has a plan. No one thinks to call her until things have gone so far south that suicide is the best case scenario.

And in showing how these characters hobble the women around them, the writers are hobbling their franchises. With Cap, Iron Man, and Black Widow gone, with Captain Marvel the Johnny-come-lately flit they portrayed her as, and Holdo forced to forgive the man who sentenced her and hundreds of others to die, we lose faith in the next leaders of the Avengers Initiative and the Rebellion. What makes anyone think that Poe will defer to Rey? Why would anyone think to call Captain Marvel now, when she only shows up to punch a ship at the last second?

General Organa and Captain America were the leaders of their respective world’s heroes. They left without showing us for sure who the successor would be, except for hothead Poe, who’s done more to kill the Rebels than anyone since Anakin wiped out Alderaan, and…who, of the Avengers? Sam because he carries the shield? Captain Marvel, who is so forgotten she doesn’t even warrant a call til the fighting starts?

Both the characters and writing have made it incredibly hard for it to be possible for a woman or a person of color to take command without attaching failures that can be felt across the whole group, not just the individual. It seems that, in writing these worlds, the writers forgot that the most overpowered super power of all is privilege, and without its protection, no one can be expected to prevail against the insidious evil of bigotry.

I’d like to challenge writers to consider a world where everyone acts like Nick Fury in Captain Marvel. He’s a strong, competent man whose leadership qualities buy him loyalty even unto death. His ability to recognize the skills of everyone around him, step up when something needs to be done and sit down when he sees he’d just be in the way assures that his team trusts him and his plans, even when he’s making it up as he goes. That’s respect. That’s allyship. That’s leadership. What the writers for Captain Marvel saw is that equality isn’t everyone running around with commander stripes–it’s believing that everyone has a real strength that is respected. It’s telling stories that don’t hinge on our ability to go along with the fallacy that women aren’t equipped to lead, and gives leaders who can command trust rather than simple fondness.

I Have A Rant, But I Took A Nap Instead

We came back late last night from attending to things for the funeral. It was a lovely service, with full military honors, a 21 gun salute, and a beautiful memorial service featuring his favorite scripture, so many testimonials of how PumPum touched the lives of his community, and great readings.

But now I’m exhausted. Please come back next week for my TED talk* on the connections between Star Wars and Marvel.

*aka another of my wonderful feminist tirades, this time with gifs and commentary on America’s ass.

All Stories End

My grandfathers had both passed before I was born, and my grandmothers lived 3000 miles away. I never had the experience of other children who had Sunday dinner with their meme and pepe, or spent weekends with them or anything like that. I love my grandmothers and enjoyed the time we spent together, but it wasn’t part of my tradition.

My spouse, though, he had that classic childhood experience with his grandparents. I met them fifteen years ago, unaccustomed to the paradigm and terrified to meet my boyfriend’s family. They welcomed me instantly, shrimp cocktail at the ready. When I left that first day, they told me they loved me. And for fifteen years, they haven’t stopped.

The love  his grandparents had for each other was obvious. They respected and cared for one another and attempted to make everyone they met feel cared for. She could remember details, which were woven into his stories. He loved telling stories. Having lived through the Great Depression and Normandy, he had some that would thrill you, but he preferred to make you laugh, and if not laugh, then to think. He lived to share these stories.

In fact, the name his grandchildren picked for him came from the story of the Wide Mouth Frog. “Pum! Pum!” the frog would croak. “I’m a wiiiide moooouth froooog.” The story became synonymous with him, as all good stories stick to their teller.  He was his stories.

Yesterday, Stanley passed away.

[image error]

I cannot be sad, really. He was 95 years old, had spent 70 with the woman of his heart, and until the last was present in his mind and independent. He knows that he will be with his Lord, and was able to have that meeting while his earthly form slept at home, hand in hand with his beloved. It’s hard to be sad for someone who had such joy in life, so much time to live it, and went to the next one as peacefully as any of us could hope.

And you know what? It still sucks. It’s still hard to lose the person who helped raise two of my favorite people, who so generously shared their family with me, who ate Thanksgiving with us and officiated my wedding. It’s hard to lose him, it’s hard to know you’re losing someone, and it’s an adjustment to being in a world without someone you’d grown used to having there.

So many of you have already reached out to share your condolences, and they are appreciated, sincerely, but we are at peace with his passing. We had time to make sure everything was said and done before he left us, and while some moments will now be different or tinged in loss, for now at least I can say that there is no regret. I will remember him as he lived, and hope to share his stories.

These are the things we are left with. These inevitabilities, these small yet so often crushing sorrows and the bittersweet need to adapt to a new future in which constants are no longer constant are the threads that bind us together. And the stories we carry for each other are our signature on this earth.

I don’t want to get any more sappy than I already have, so I’ll cut this off here. I hope we all have ninety-five years of health, and if we all have a fraction of the adventure and affection in his life, we would have such stories as any would be honored to carry for us.

Rest well, PumPum.

Ate Too Much for Any Springing

I hope everyone is having a happy holiday weekend! I have eaten a chocolate bunny, participated in an Easter egg hunt, had french toast, and gotten a temporary tattoo (of a unicorn!) so I feel that I have celebrated well.

Today I’m sleeping off the sugar coma, editing, and enjoying the nice seasonable breeze in my house while I catch up on some reading. I know, my life is wild and exciting. Be jealous!

What are your Easter and/or Passover traditions?

Bathing Suited For What?

I hate bathing suit shopping. There are some things that for the most part designers and consumers seem to agree upon–we get a plethora of shirt options and dresses, undies and bras. But jeans and bathing suits for whatever reason always make me wonder how they do their market research? Do they visit an Oracle? Shake a Magic-8 ball? Have a toddler point at objects on the wall? Because it’s certainly not via asking women what they’d like or thinking about how the fuck people use these things.

So, here is an assortment of swimwear with some feedback. Yes, today I’m beta reading the bathing suits.

This one says you want to look cute while dry, and want to be convinced you’re being surrounded by aquatic life if you get into the ocean, or float in your own small ink spill in a pool.

 

 

 

Want the same “omg was that an eel” feeling, but with a trade off in tan lines at the shoulders for a nice one-third farmer’s tan, and more certainty you’re going impersonate an octopus, with your boobs as sort of googly eyes.

 

 

 

You really want to get rid of those standard shoulder tan lines, and instead want your skin to look like you come equipped with your own bolero when you change back into regular clothes. Nothing says modesty like having a shining beacon on your breasts when you’re out in a t shirt.

 

 

 

When you want the sea cucumbers to accept you as one of their own.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This one is obviously used for belly rubs.

 

 

 

 

When you neither want to get in the water nor have the ability to move on land too quickly. Excellent for cleaning up ice cream spills (the likelihood of getting some on the suit being null) and getting a tan line like a Star Trek Communicator.

 

 

 

 

I, too, feel most confident when my hips look like a trussed, raw pork roast out on holiday, and my tan line looks like reverse char marks.

 

 

 

 

And in conclusion, a double header.  You see the top part and think they must have intended this for tanning. It doesn’t have any of the support necessary for water or moving. But then the bottom is super high waisted, high cut at the flexor, and has a cut out in the back. Can’t lie down in it on your back, can’t tan from the front…I just don’t know, and I don’t have the time.

Dear robots and Oracles making these designs, I just need you to think for a second. One second, that’s all. About the nature of humans, and their various forms, and what people intend to do in swimsuits. I’ll give you a hint, the intention is in the name.

 

Please Just Tell Me What To Get You

Here in the US, spring has arrived! The trees are mating! Bugs are being born! Flowers are blooming! My wardrobe is very confused about the number of appropriate layers!

All of that aside, it’s also the start of the marathon of weddings, baby showers and other fetes.

I love weddings and celebrating new humans and going to parties! But it can also be stressful and expensive. Here are my guides for gift-giving events.

I love creating registries. It’s like all the best internet browsing, none of the credit card bills! Also, while it can feel a bit selfish to be demanding certain gifts, I find it so much more frustrating when I can’t access a registry for people. Listen, people get heart felt gifts for Christmas/Hanukkah, their birthdays and Parent Days. The rest of the time, I’m’a need you to be specific, unless you really did want more microwavable socks for your baby shower, and aside from that you’re all set. It’s not selfish. It’s considerate to help people figure out what they can do to make your life better–that’s the point of these type of gifts after all.  It’s not a “I saw this sweater and thought of you” sort of moment. This is supposed to be about the village coming together to support you, but there’s more than just the one guy who makes pottery in town these days so if you want your guy to make your plates instead of my guy, you should say so pretty expressly.

In short, gift registries are awesome. You can get stuff you want, guests don’t have to wonder about what to get you, and everyone can budget what size gift they’re comfortable giving.

When creating a registry, there are three things you really want to keep in mind: accessibility of the store, price range of the items, and the availability of options.

Where to create a registry

There’s no right way to do this, but I’d recommend factoring in your guests. If everyone invited lives in the same 30 mile radius, you can absolutely create a registry at a boutique store that carries bespoke items perfect for your lifestyle! But if they live further afield, you’ll likely want to pick some place with an online option and delivery. If your guest list contains people you know to be uncomfortable making purchases online, you’ll likely also want to make sure the store has a brick and mortar location as well that they can get to.

It’s okay to have registries at multiple locations! Support local businesses, but maybe also make a quick registry at Amazon, Macy’s, Target or Babies R Us (or other store of your choice!) just to make sure you get things you want and not a pile to return.

See? Options!

Price range

This is another one that’s subjective. Maybe your friends are all billionaires. Maybe they’re all living more modestly. For most people, the $50-$100 range is the sweet spot, so you’ll want to focus on having about as many items as guests in this range. Then you’ll want about that many under $50 (some people like to buy lots of little things, others will appreciate having options for things they can give you that aren’t so pricey) and items over $100 could account for under one third of your total items. As people might want to join in to gift larger things for you, or maybe you have lots of really close, loving friends and family who want to shower you with bigger gifts, having good options in this range is important, too.

Please don’t make all your friends feel this way.

Side note: my rough estimate for buying gifts for people? If I’m invited and turn down, I send a less than $50 gift. If I’m invited and can’t attend but would, I send closer to a $100 gift. If I attend, it’s $50+ for an acquaintance, $100+ for a friend, $150+ for a good friend and $200+ for a close friend or family member. This is a rough estimate and is of course subject to change based on finances and in-group politics, but this is my guide, so I get to make the rules! I don’t like the “cost of your meal” guideline at weddings–it’s so subjective and doesn’t factor in travel costs, clothing, babysitters and all of the other expenses for attending a wedding, let alone being in the wedding party. Don’t invite people for quid pro quo, and don’t give something you’re uncomfortable with.

Options

I’ve said roughly the distribution of present price points, but you’ll want to check in periodically on the registry. If you notice that all of your over $100 items have been purchased (except for that weird Swedish chair you kind of want but likely wouldn’t use) then you need to add more. There’s always more things you could want. Don’t be afraid to get creative! Obviously if you’re already settled into a house and a life, you don’t need the basics. So this is a great time for those splurge-y upgrades and less common registry goods like outdoor furniture, board games, and electronics!

Registering for your baby? Honey? Babies can always use more stuff. Let people get you stuff. If you don’t want a nursery packed with one time use onesies and various sorts of diaper changing contraptions, register for things the baby will need up through their toddler years. Get that convertible crib-to-bed. Backpacks. Whatever. Let people shower you with adorable mini-sized things and responsible-sounding equipment. But make sure there are at least double the options as guests.

On that note, don’t fall into the trap of registering for things “everyone needs” just because you think you should. If you don’t cook, you don’t need to register for the world’s best knives or an All-Clad pot set. If you aren’t already a runner, you don’t need a jogging stroller. It’s okay. Honestly, people who know you will be less judgmental if you get the toaster oven and the baby rocker than they would be if you register for expensive things they know you’ll never use. It’s your life, curate it.

Do all of this and your guests will thank you because you’ve made it possible to attend and fulfill their social obligations while still pleasing you. It is incredibly aggravating to log onto a registry and find your only options are $200 flower vases or $2 corncob holders. It’s also frustrating to actually need things and find that instead of acquiring those, people have gone off script because they couldn’t access your registry. Save everyone the hassle and plan ahead!

One last thing? If you’re overwhelmed, give this job to bestie! Is your partner really great at gifts? Do you have a sibling who knows you perfectly? A friend who’s been through all of this before and has great taste? Give them your registry info and let them go wild! I know sometimes it’s hard to balance being respectful of your guests’ generosity and having things that will be helpful in the next stage of your life, so don’t feel bad if you want to enlist help. Especially if you have a more minimalist outlook or feel like you’re being greedy, you’ll need a little push. Please let them help. Everyone will feel better for it!

Doggos, Sherlock, and the OODA Loop

I want you to imagine you’re on a sidewalk. Are you:

a. On auto-pilot, listening to your ear buds, more or less staying with the crowd

b. noticing things around you like what someone is wearing or the dog out for a walk

c. assessing everything around you for potential threats

I think most of us know there’s a difference between auto-pilot and observant, but today I’d like to focus on the difference between observation and situational awareness which is all about threat analysis and very little about the colors of socks of everyone in the room.

Being observant is knowing there are three people seated at tables and one person behind the counter in this coffee shop. Being situationally aware is registering where the exits are, the agitation level of people near you, if anyone changes their behavior when you walk in, if there are locations from the exterior that would provide a clear shot into the establishment, and where weapons are likely to be, if any. It’s looking for the people or potential hazards that might do you harm and planning what you’d do in the event one of those threats materializes. Think like a bodyguard, y’all. We’ve seen too many shows with psychic cops and space marines that I think people think everyone gets to be Sherlock, and listen, friends,

there is one Sherlock and his name is Benedict Cumberbatch.

Don’t at me, there’s no room for discussion here.

The Equalizer and Neo and Jason Bourne has made us confused, I think, about what a real person who is on alert would be thinking. It’s not eidetic memory or somehow anticipating the exact movement of any person–it’s not a super power, no matter what John Wick would have us believe.

It’s a space that’s thinking through risks and coming up with plans to deal with them. It can take training and experience to deal with those things, and that’s what research is for, babes. There’s room for license here, but (rant incoming) ohmigawd please stop already with the counting of things and people. You’re not a mathmagician, characters, only log the risks! Be Picard, not a puppet!. Status reports! That’s what you get!

Situational awareness is sort of like diagnosis. If you have a cough, you think you have a cold or have something stuck in your throat before you jump to tuberculosis. A person who was aware of their surroundings and the threats they face would therefore drink some water, get some lozenges and try to sleep more before calling their doctor. Same with threats. You can only plan for the most likely of circumstances.

This then leads to that favorite phrase of military personnel: The OODA Loop.

This is the basis of those “assess, execute” style narratives. It stands for Observation, Orientation, Decision, Action, and is the cycle we all must go through to do anything.

Situationally aware characters will notice pertinent information. They’ll then orient themselves by recalling what they know about what this means to their mission, their safety, and the possible responses. They’ll make a decision, and act. Most awareness training is just about making sound decisions more quickly, which really means giving folks tools to observe more important details and orient within them faster. Some of it is knowing how to act, but knowing how to drive tactically or punch dudes isn’t nearly as useful if you’re always playing catch up with the goings-on.

I think these things a lot when I’m writing Summer–she’s a keyed up little basket case who fights people a lot, so weighing her responses and making them quickly is important. But you’ll notice she’s often surprised, too, because no one can stay perfectly aware all of the time, and no one is going to get to the jump on time every time. That’s the compelling part of characters who are trained–not that they can do something they know how to do, but when those limits are tested.

Think about what your character would notice, what they would find threatening, and what sorts of decisions they’d make if they were scared. Please stop telling me they “calculate the angles of interception” or “noticed the scars on every face.” The first thing is just called “running in the straightest line” and the second is “people watching.” What’s scary to them, and what can our characters do about it? If socks and scars and doggos fit that bill, great. But I feel like maybe they’re less important than pop culture would have me believe.

Appropriate times to notice doggos: cases of imminent bamboozlement!

So, Are You Single (Tasking)?

There was a brief period when I was a kid where everyone wanted to be multitaskers. “I can multi-task,” the business people would say, palm pilot in one hand and coffee mug in another. Teachers started breaking up segments of instruction into smaller chunks, and sensory stimulus were included in our lessons. It was glorious.

And then promptly all the pedants and single-taskers came to tell us that’s not real, and my time in the sun clouded over. “No one can do two or more things at once with any sort of efficiency or quality control,” scientists said as they wrote papers while listening to Mozart and eating their breakfasts.

I am a multi-tasker. I can’t focus without music on in the background (or some other innocuous noise). While I’m writing a contract, I’ll often be processing another in the back of my mind and stop the one I’m working on now to check something on the other one as a problem I’ve been considering clarifies passively.

You can find a poem about this on my Live Journal.

That is I think what multi-tasking is. Our passive processing requires an active process to be taking place at the same time. It’s not that I can write two agreements at the exact same time, or perform a Shakespearean soliloquy while engaging in a conversation, it’s that I go back and forth between projects as I consider them, and that I need to keep my different senses engaged if I’m going to concentrate.

Consider the different mental space it takes to make a shopping list, outline a paper or story, build an Ikea bookshelf and listen to an audiobook. For me, these things happen in groupings. The bookshelf is an active thing for my hands. I can see what I’m doing and accomplish each step with minimal mental load. The audiobook is more mentally taxing, but I can usually process chunks at a time, and when my mind wanders, I can go over either something else I was planning on picking up at the store or what I want to include in my next project. It looks something like this:

Step one, put section A and section B together with screws from Pack E.

Am I almost out of shampoo?

Pick up sections A and B.

Process the first paragraph of audiobook.

Maybe while X is showering, Summer will go through their things and find Y clue.

Screw in sections. Listen to next 3 paragraphs of audiobook.

Pause audiobook, write down finished shopping list.

Unpause, do step 2 of building.

Oh shoot, I forgot we need cat food, too.

Make note on shopping list.

Do step 3 of building while listening to audiobook.

If Summer handles that part of the mystery in chapter 1, I can start chapter 2 with them catching her, which sets up the action I need in chapter 5.

This continues until one project is done or I can’t focus on any one of them anymore, and then it’s time for a break.

Or until there’s a collision in the hamster wheel.

My spouse, however, is very single-task oriented. He can’t have music with lyrics while he’s working. If he’s listening to a podcast, that’s all he’s thinking about. He can work on projects completely engrossed for hours on end, and pulling him out to ask him about something else really causes confusion.

If we don’t use the terms multi-tasking and single-tasking for these two different productivity styles, I don’t know what else to call it.

As I’ve written this, I’ve:

-Drafted another post

-Conversed with a friend

-Thought through the themes of a book I’m reading

-Put together a shopping list

-Planned activities for next weekend

I don’t know how else to do things. Single tasking makes me so frustrated I can’t hold a pen. So take that, science. I’m as real as anyone in the multiverse is, and I multi-task like a champ.

What’s your focus style?

The Quiet (Wo)Man

Today I have:

Cleaned the kitchen

Read a bunch

Put a corned beef in a crock pot

Taken three naps

I realize this may be taking “lazy Sunday” a bit far, but I’ve had a very active couple of days and, unfortunately, a few nights more active than I’d like, so today I’m doing my best to catch up on lounging.

And while I like you quite a bit, I am enjoying this loungefulness enormously, and don’t think I will regale you with much today.

I will say I hope that if you observe St. Patrick’s Day, your meals are tender, your drink is kind to your head, and water is plentiful. I will now get back to my family’s traditional March 17, with is The Quiet Man with John Wayne, corned beef with cabbage and root vegetables served on sourdough or rye with Swiss cheese because yes my grandfather was Irish but also yes my grandmother was Latvian-Jewish and this sandwich, like their marriage, is a truly perfect union.

It’s about as American a way to celebrate the holiday as one can get, I realize, but it is what it is, and I shall enjoy it to my dying day, if ever I live that long.