C.M. Selbrede's Blog, page 11

Quiz: Which “two” Character Are You?

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Check out the quiz here!

 

Prologue (Anna, Farmer)

I am planning to begin a serialized children’s tale based on a game my sisters and I played as young children. The following is the Prologue, modified and reprinted from an earlier iteration on this blog.

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There once was a sizable farm nestled in the hills of Northeast Maine, just East of the once- bustling town of Weary Winds. Although McDermott Acres, better known to locals as the Acres, had once been rather charming, the appeal had long since peeled away. Indeed, much of the Acres had begun to chip away, perhaps most notably, the farmhouse’s distinctive green paint.

At the edge of the property lay the collapsing barn and a small pig sty, on a ridge over by the sea. The farm had once produced beef, chicken, eggs, and even duck once but as the years wore by, Thomas McDermott had made the cost-cutting decision to focus on corn and oats, while gradually phasing out pork. Nobody argued with Thomas McDermott… mostly because there was no one left to argue with him. No one except his young daughter, Anna.

Despite the peeling paint, the quiet air and the nostalgic pigs, Anna was a very special child. Though she was a small girl, even for her age, Anna insisted on helping out the two young farmhands with the few chores still covered by the decaying farmstead, with one exception. Ever since she had reached a certain age, and finally begun to comprehend the darker tasks undertaken by the farm, Anna had refused to allow her father or the farmhands to butcher any of the pigs.

Any who are familiar with the operations and, frankly, the purpose of farms can see why this edict might prove troublesome for Thomas McDermott at the Acres. Lucky for Anna (and her friends the pigs) Thomas resolved to acquiesce to his daughter’s strange demand for the time being, certain that the young girl would grow out of such foolishness soon enough.

Anna frequently played in the old barn by the sea. At the crack of dawn she would tip-toe down the stairs, run through the disused fields (long in need of weeding) and, finally, arrive at her very special place to watch the sun.

What of her mother, you may ask? That is a very sad story. Suffice to say, her father was somewhat negligent after her departure, and spent most of his time cataloging his extensive collection of bills and profits. Tedious work, but remember, Thomas McDermott was a very tedious person. For him the most important thing was always keeping the farm afloat and food in his daughter’s mouth, and so he hardly paid any attention to Anna. Please understand that Thomas McDermott wasn’t a bad person. Simply a stubborn, big headed person who never stopped grieving.

So Anna went on, waking up duly every day, heading to school five days a week, and making a pot of oatmeal every night. She worked diligently on her classwork, earnestly sought the friendship of her peers, and helped around the farm whenever she could. Unfortunately, many of her classmates and their parents judged her to be simple and coarse due to the blue collar work she enjoyed so much. There was no place for people like her in the rapidly industrializing Weary Winds.

It was lucky, then, that Anna didn’t much care if there was a place for her in the world. She had already decided that her existence was not contingent on the opinions of others, and was happy to live a simple life for her father and her home.

    To be continued…

Poem: Descent

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Today, I learned that

Forests will swallow you if you let them.

They’re wide and long and darker than you think and

If you go up, you will have to go down and

it will hurt, like Hell and you’ll feel sick

and it will be okay.

 

Because, look, listen…

if you’re lucky, you’re not alone.

And if you are, you might not be forever

If you keep walking and looking and

you might not get out but

if you have to suffer,

Suffer with purpose.

Quiz: Which “The Valley Chronicles: Quest” Character Are You?

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Check out the quiz here!

 

Memoir: Playing for the Wrong Team

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The Summer before Senior Year was when I decided to get serious about hockey. For the past one and a half seasons, I’d done the bare minimum to become acquainted with this very new sport, attending games and the practices offered to my high school team (there weren’t many). The fact was that playing hockey was already so far out of my comfort zone that merely participating felt like pushing myself. But as anyone who’s attempted to master anything knows well, one cannot reach their full potential by merely showing up.

And so I resolved to participate in Summer League ice hockey, a program based in Olney where several color-coded teams, chosen based off geography, played each other informally over the course of July and August. Determined to prevent myself from ducking out last minute, I registered as soon as humanly possible… only to realize, a month or so later, that the program had somehow lost my registration and had not assigned me to a scene. My mother called and worked it out, and I was belatedly added back to the system. One would assume this was where the mix-ups would end. In this case, one would assume incorrectly.

Howard County isn’t exactly the hockey capital of the nation, and so its residents really only belonged in one of two teams. The White Team was made up of a number of high-level players from a local club team; and the Black Team was composed of basically everyone else from Howard County. However, when I arrived at the first game, I realized I’d been placed on neither of these teams– I was on the Blue Team, or, more accurately, the Seahawks.

The locker room was empty when I arrived on that very first Sunday. With a tight fist clenched around my heart, I set to work dressing for the game, both nervous and excited by the prospect of meeting my new teammates. After several tense moments of isolation, the first kid walked in, and we made pleasant conversation. Things were going okay. But once the others began to trickle in, laughing and joking as if they’d known each other forever, I realized that something was off.

As it turned out, the Blue Team I was playing on was made up entirely by the hockey team of a school elsewhere in Maryland. Their hockey team was apparently large and active enough to field an entire team for the Summer League, and for some reason– perhaps overflow from the Black Team, perhaps the similarities between “River Hill Ice Hawks” and “South River Seahawks”– I’d been placed with them.

My parents offered to try to switch me onto the Black Team with the other Howard County students, but I refused, seeing this as a challenge and a chance to push myself socially. (Even now I’m uncertain if that was the right choice). Sure, I was isolated from everyone, but they were friendly enough, and they had a few players around my skill level. I could make this work.

Playing on the Blue Team exposed me to an entirely different hockey experience. For one thing, the team had only one girl, unlike every other team I had and would play on which had at least two or three. She changed in a different locker room, unlike the Ice Hawks or Huskies. The guys, on the other hand, had an entirely different dynamic than I was used to. Blue Team was a lot closer knit than the Ice Hawks, and the guys were a lot more comfortable joking and messing around in the locker room. They also were more prone to the mythic “locker room talk”, or lewd and occasionally un-PC comments. (However, when I briefly played on a different team for two games, their jokes made the Blue Team’s look positively wholesome).

In the end, this season was an exercise in perseverance and futility. Becoming friends with a group of tight knit strangers was a nigh impossible task, but I can rest easy knowing I did my best and went out of my comfort zone in an attempt to at least briefly connect with my teammates. I pushed past myself to start conversations, cheer them on, and just be present in the moment. As soon as the season ended, the entire team would unfollow me on social media (except for one). It wasn’t that they were mean, or bad people. It was just that they had no interest in being friends with me, which was perfectly fine.

I did end up improving a good amount from Summer League, and really, that was the point. I had fun playing hockey, blocked some pucks with the side of my calf, and accidentally tripped an enemy player when I fell. Most importantly, Summer League gave me the courage to play Rec Hockey with Huskies that year, which was such a trying and rewarding experience.

We all often worry about being hated, but in reality more often people will be indifferent to us. We can’t worry about situations like this, just do our best to extend a hand of friendship, and move on if it is unwanted. Sometimes you have to put yourself out there, face the music, and have fun.

 

Personal: Breaking Down My Dorm!

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Recently I moved into my dorm at Bates! Keep reading for a look at how I chose to allocate space and decorate (with the help of my sisters).

Left Side





The Closet & Dresser

I had the option to keep the dresser inside my closet but decided to remove it so that I would have the floor for shoe storage. The floor of the closet holds my shoes, laundry hamper, and one backpack, while the other two hang from a hanger alongside my jackets and t-shirts. I chose to arrange my shirts by rainbow only to realize my shirts are only in three colors: red, blue, and grey/black. I guess that matches my room.

The dresser holds my clothes (obviously). On top is some empty water bottles, my latest comics and my toiletries. Above the dresser is a bulletin board (regrettably I have no pins for it) and a whiteboard (which already has a message from my suitemates).

The Desk

On the top shelf, from left to right, is: my Bates cap with an action figure underneath, some school supplies, ten pucks, two blank notebooks, and some “To-Read” books and graphic novels.

Hanging between the shelf and the body of the desk is a chain with 16 of 50 pictures I printed from Shutterfly. See if you can spot yourself.

On the desk itself I have a lamp, pencil sharpener, hardcover copies of my books, a mug, stapler, and two wooden books from Sri Lanka which I store some things in. Inside the desk I have miscellaneous school supplies, and the keyboard slide drawer holds some things I expect to use every day.

Right Side




The Bed

When Clara decided she would be designing my room, she asked if there was anything for sure I wanted there, and I said the Spider-Man 2099 poster I got from Free Comic Book Day 2018. She, Anna, and my mother proceeded to purchase my linens and towels based off that color scheme. There is also a Bates flag above my bed.

Not pictured: My hockey stick, between my desk and bed.

The Storage

Underneath my bed is a plastic dresser with my hockey equipment, two trash cans, a blue bin of snacks, and a black mini-fridge with lots of water in it. There is also a power strip which powers my phone at night and my fan 24/7, which rests on the window ledge.

And that’s it! Not terribly interesting but still fun to talk about. Thanks for stopping by!

 

 

10 Favorited Animated Series of All-Time

Though I recently ranked my top 25 television shows of all time, I chose to omit animated series due to a personal bias towards live action. The following cartoons are my favorites, presented more fondly than if they’d been mixed with the others.

10. Justice League/Justice League Unlimited (2001-2006)

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Justice League and its successor, Justice League Unlimited, were the last two entries in the DCAU (DC Animated Universe) that began with the iconic Batman: The Animated Series (which somehow didn’t end up on this list, I can’t explain why). Justice League adapted some amazing comic book stories with the seven-person cast of Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Martian Manhunter, Flash, Green Lantern, and Hawkgirl, giving the series a wonderfully intimate look at the core cast of characters and ensuring the viewers cared about the conflicts. Seasons 3-5 of the show evolved into JLU, a continuation of the show featuring an expanded league of over 50 superheroes, mixing and matching throughout the series.

Both halves of this franchise hold special places in my heart… when I binged them via Netflix a few years ago, JL seemed to have stronger individual tales while JLU’s variety and overarching storylines made for a just as exciting experience. JLU also featured a phenomenal take on the Question, a favorite hero of mine, who certainly made the series worth watching.

9. Young Justice (2010-2013, 2019-Present)

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The first television series I watched week-to-week (well, besides PBS Kids’ Fetch! With Ruff Ruffman…) Young Justice certainly holds a special place in my heart. Balancing realism with an extensive understanding of the source material and a willingness to blaze its own trail, over the course of its 2 seasons YJ solidified my love of comics permanently. After two intricately plotted, character-rich seasons, the show was unexpectedly cancelled, a loss mourned by fans until its unexpected revival was announced, slated for next years.

Young Justice followed a team of sidekicks sent on stealth missions by the JLA as they came of age and learned to trust each other. The impeccable characterization and plotting of the first season, however, was somewhat eclipsed by the overly ambitious second season, which immediately alienated viewers with a massive time jump and an overly inflated cast. Things also got way too dark way too quickly, killing the balance the first season had struck. I wish I could say I’d be watching S3 when it premieres, but the promise of an even darker season and its place as a streaming exclusive for DC’s new service makes it too much to bite off for me.

8. Green Lantern: The Animated Series (2012-2013)

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To be honest? Not a huge Hal Jordan fan, nor a fan of the stylized 3D animation GL:TAS pioneered, so I legitimately expected to hate this series. For this reason, I didn’t start watching until midway through the season… and discovered, to my surprise, it was pretty dang good.

See, GL:TAS was about Hal Jordan, but it was mostly a Star Trek-esque series following an exploratory vessel and its delightfully complex crew. Joining the suitable enough (but overused) Hal is Kilowog, grizzled veteran of the Corps, Aya, the ship’s AI who is a lot more complex than her demeanor would suggest, and Razer, a vengeful enemy Red Lantern who finds himself becoming a part of this makeshift family. Over the course of the first and only season, the four developed an insane amount (especially Aya and Razer). The plotlines dipped expertly but sparingly into the comic book mythos, and the overarching story arc kept me on the edge of my seat,

Green Lantern was criminally underrated, and I would love to see a Season 2.

7. We Bare Bears (2015-Present)

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We Bare Bears appealed to my family for an obvious reason- besides my sister Clara’s love for bears- and that reason was the number 3. My triplet sisters and I started watching the show for the numerical parallel, but stayed for the personality parallels.

In Grizz, the extroverted brown bear, we saw my sociaable sister Anna; and in Ice Bear, the eccentric and quiet polar bear, there were obvious strokes of Clara. I, myself, am represented by Panda, the (somewhat pathetic) most helpless bear, constantly on electronics and or social media despite his shy nature. It isn’t a perfect comparison, obviously, but it’s pretty darn close.

These parallels elevate the stellar plotting and hilarious episodes to side splitting, as my family is able to recognize ourselves in the strange situations and the brothers’ devotion to each other. The only reason this show isn’t higher is that comedy cartoons just aren’t my favorite thing to watch.

6. Avatar: The Last Airbender (2005-2008)

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Okay, so, here’s the thing… A:TLA is technically the most well done out of all the shows here, but the list is “10 Favorite” not “10 Best”, so here it is, clocking in at #6.

Avatar is revered among almost the entirety of my generation, and for good reason. Over the course of three, rich, heartwarming, and hilarious seasons, ATLA developed a fully formed world, intensely believably characters, and one of the most emotional and complex conflicts on TV. If you haven’t seen it, you should go find it online. Unless you’re a soulless monster with zero taste, it will amaze you.

ATLA is perfect. I just didn’t grow up on it, so it doesn’t mean quite as much to me.

5. X-Men: Evolution (2000-2003)

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X-Men: Evolution holds the distinction of being simultaneously the least comics accurate X-Men animated adaptation, but somehow, the best. Running for four seasons, XM:E chose to introduce a core cast of teenage characters and three teachers (Professor Xavier, Wolverine, and Storm), a wise choice which allowed Wolverine and Storm to be their best selves while portraying teenage mutant angst wonderfully. Despite the relatively childish nature of the show, it packs many emotional beats, compelling conflicts, and intriguing character developments… almost everyone on the show is a 3-Dimensional character, an impressive feat considering the simplistic format and plotlines.

XM:E also benefitted from the lack of the cringeworthy Jean/Scott/Wolverine love triangle, (though it did play around with a slightly grating Jean/Scott/Rogue one) and the decision to introduce Wolverine’s teenage clone, X-23, who would soon become a staple of the comics.

X-Men: Evolution is insanely fun and bingeable, and I rewatch it almost every chance I have. It’s one of those shows that will really stick with you, long after you watch the finale.

4. Barbie: Life in the Dreamhouse (2012-2015)

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Yeah, I didn’t expect to see this here either.

Barbie: Life in the Dreamhouse is a series of online shorts far more hilarious then they have any right to be. Simultaneously celebrating and spoofing Barbie, Dreamhouse introduces a surprisingly well developed cast fully aware of their status as dolls (“Barbie, did you cut your hair? You know it doesn’t grow back!”), Barbie’s agelessness and general luck, and the problems that come with being made out of plastic.

Dreamhouse is legitimately hilarious, if you can cope with the fact that you are watching a Barbie television series. Watch if you dare… I won’t try to convince you. This is a decision you should make for yourself.

3. Lilo & Stitch: The Series (2003-2006)

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This entry is almost 100% based on nostalgia.

Lilo & Stitch was one of, if not the first, films I watched in my childhood. We loved it for a variety of reasons- the quirky nature of Lilo, the lovability of Stitch, the fact we were currently residing in Hawaii- and we eagerly consumed every piece of the franchise we could find. That included the Disney Channel television series which ran for three years before concluding with Leroy & Stitch, a direct-to-TV movie.

This television show was repetitive, and not especially well crafted compared to the others on this list, but it had a whole lot of heart. Lilo and Stitch, not to mention their extended family, were just as fun to watch as they were on the big screen, and their quest to reunite the experiments with their “one true home” led to some fun and diverse stories.

Plus, it crossed over with Kim Possible.

2. Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes (2010-2013)

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I’m a big (comics) Avengers fan, and Avengers: EMH! is the best Marvel comic book adaptation to come to the small screen.

Avengers: EMH adapted almost every notable classics Avengers story, modernizing them and making them a ton of fun to watch. Though, like Young Justice, the second season might’ve moved faster than its own good, EMH captured the soul of the Avengers with far more depth and character than its overrated cinematic counterpart, giving us comics-accurate Avengers founders Ant-Man and the Wasp, a Hawkeye with actual personality, and a theme song that still gets stuck in my head.

It was a truly dark day when EMH! was cancelled in favor of a more MCU-esque Avengers show, cutting short all the amazing character development and plotlines this phenomenal show had yet to cover.

1. Legend of Korra (2012-2014)

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It’s difficult for me to surmise how Legend of Korra ended up at the front of this list. While darker and more complex than its predecessor, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Legend of Korra never quite reached its full potential… never offering the same character development or depth that Avatar was known for. However, it was truly moving, and its final two seasons were the highlight of the entire Avatar franchise for me.

Despite questionable choices in handling the remaining characters of Avatar, LoK expertly “modernized” the world of The Last Airbender, giving us the stylish and fun Republic City built off the architecture of the four (mostly) united nations. The presence of increasingly modern trappings alongside the mystic arts lent a strange feeling of nostalgia and tiredness, as both the viewer and the characters question the Avatar’s usefulness in the current era.

The first season of Korra started strong, but fell into a love triangle and flattened the bad guy far, far too quickly. Consequently, season two offered a compelling storyline, but dragged it out far too long and muddled the message they were trying to tell. While imperfect, and certainly lower quality than Avatar, these laid down essential groundwork for Seasons 3 and 4, some of the best TV I’ve ever had the privilege to watch.

Both are dark, dangerous, and tense, and both explore drastically different would-be conquerors, each with a violent worldview. In Season 3, the viewer meets Zaheer, a violent anarchist whose actions pave the way for Kuvira, Season 4’s communist dictator. Both have sympathetic ideas and viewpoints, and both push Korra to (and past) her limits.

Korra is, in my opinion, far more interesting to watch then Aang, even if Aang’s friends were more developed. Like Young Justice and EMH, Korra was cancelled and shortened, forcing it to make do with a smaller episode count and lower budget. It is remarkable that, considering this, the two latter seasons were such strong works of art.

Thanks for reading!

Makeshift is Available Now!

[image error]Makeshift, winner of a National Gold Medal in Science Fiction/Fantasy, is now available as a novella from Lulu.com with beautiful cover art from Gaby Stratmann! Be on the lookout for an eBook edition this November and for both editions to drop on Amazon.com & B&N.com sometime soon!

Preview: The Valley Chronicles: Tempest

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Violet

I stood at my bedroom window, watching the orange leaves spiral idly towards the ground. Outside, neighbors strolled back and forth as cars raced past at a hundred miles an hour. I tried not to linger on our lonely, sparse yard, where a small wooden doghouse stood as empty as it had since July. I missed Hodgey so much, but I knew he was doing what he was supposed to do. What he loved doing.

With a bit of a sigh, I turned from the window and paced back and forth across my just-tidied room. John was late. Again. It was a darn good thing that he was a sort of time traveler, because otherwise he would never be anywhere on time. Of course, the magic teleporting might have been one of the things constantly distracting him, but that was a whole other issue.

“Come on,” I checked my watch for the millionth time. It wasn’t my first homecoming. I was the one doing my brother a favor by swapping with Sapphire so that Ruby would feel better about allowing her to travel to Earth.

“If you hurt Sapphire, I kill Violet,” Ruby had told him, and John had laughed. I’d raised an eyebrow at Ruby- we both knew she was completely serious.

I collapsed into my desk chair, groaning. “Whatever,” I rolled my eyes. “It’s not like I could’ve made plans tonight instead of doing you this favor, John.”

“What plans?” I started as I became aware of John’s reflection behind mine on the blank computer screen in front of me. My brother smiled a mischievous smile as he waved at me. “You don’t do anything.”

I spun my chair towards him, crossing my arms. “Hey, excuse you. I have plenty of friends who I hang out with all the time.”

“Yeah, and they’re all in the Valley,” John pointed out, mirroring my movements and crossing his own arms. “Really, I’m the one doing you the favor, dropping you off there.”

“That might’ve been true a few months ago, but I’ve been making so many friends this Summer,” I exaggerated playfully. “Rae and Cho from swim team, Jenny and Mark from Tae Kwon Doe… I could go on forever.”

“Okay, but, ignoring your clearly fake friends who I am definitely internet stalking to prove you wrong, by the way, you have to admit that the Valley is where you would rather be,” John straightened his tie. “Besides, maybe you’ll see Hodgey! That would be fun?”

“You know I’m happy to help you,” I admitted, getting to my feet and stepping up to straighten out John’s lopsided suit jacket. “Just try to be on time, okay?”

“I know, I’m sorry, Sara and I got sidetracked trying to fix Evan’s nightmarish hair so he would look better in our pictures tonight,” John smiled at me gratefully as he turned to the mirror to look over my modifications. “Speaking of…”

“Yes, John, you look very dapper,” I grinned, bemused. “It’ll be fine.”

“Okay, but consider this,” John paced back and forth, more than a little tense. “What if it turns out that only lame freshmen wear ties to homecoming? What if I’m the only one not in like a tuxedo or whatever? What if–?”

“You know what your friends are wearing,” I pointed out.

“But they don’t know anything either!” John threw his hands up in the air.

I grabbed my brother, resisting the urge to glare. “John,” I kept my voice even. “You. Will. Be. Fine. Now get us out of here before Mom hears y–”

“Violet!” John and I froze as we heard our mother call my name. “Can you come here a second?”

We relaxed slightly, and John jerked a thumb towards the window. I shook my head—leaving now would only draw suspicion. I pointed at him, and then pointed at the desk chair. ‘Don’t move,” I hissed, and moved to go meet my Mom. John rolled his eyes and pulled out his phone, which was mildly reassuring. At least he would be occupied.

As always, I found my mother in her study, buried in a mess of papers and office supplies. She was sitting at her desk, her dark brown eyes fixated on her computer, her mouth drawn into a tight line.

“I’m here,” I started, waving. “What did you–” Wait. I frowned as I became aware of a sniffling, and as my mother turned, her eyes were red. “Mom, are you crying?” I tried not to sound too incredulous.

Here’s the thing- my mother never cried. Not even when she and Dad argued, note even when the family split up- not even when I went missing last year. I knew she cared, but she just didn’t express her feelings that way. It wasn’t her, which made this all the more alarming.

“Ahem,” my mother cleared her throat, wiping her eyes quickly. She gestured for me to join her at the computer. “Come here. I want you to see this.”

A bit unnerved I stepped over some rogue folder and moved next to my emotional parent. With a bit of shock, I realized she was on social media- something she normally stayed off. My mother had been looking at some sort of photo gallery instead of doing her work. Another shock hit me as I recognized the subject of the pictures, and realized who I was looking at- it was John, just as I’d seen him upstairs, decked out in his khaki pants, blazer, and simple tie. He was posed in his backyard with some friends… I noticed Evan, Sara, and Humphrie.

“Your father uploaded these,” there was a faraway look in my mother’s eyes, and she touched the screen with something like wistfulness. “Look at him. He’s all grown up.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, ‘all grown up’ is a bit of an overstatement,” I crossed my arms. “You know he still keeps stuffed animals in his bed, right?”

“He’s so old, you, you’re so old,” My mother tore herself away from the computer and looked me up and down. “They told me it would go by fast but I never dreamed it would go this quickly…”

Okay, so my mother was having some sort of emotional breakdown because John had worn a suit once. Remind me never to have kids.

“You know, legally, we’re still far from being adults,” I tried to give my mother some perspective. “And even then–”

“He’s in the middle of his freshman year of high school,” My mother interrupted me, clearly not interested in thinking any of this through. “In less than four years he’s going to be in college! And only a year later you’ll be leaving too! Think about it!”

My mother wasn’t wrong but I was so used to focusing on either my violence-ridden past or whatever the Valley’s current predicament was that I’d never even thought about college. I’d never tried to picture it… living in dorms, attending classes, figuring out what I was doing for the rest of my life…

Because I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I liked helping people, but I wasn’t sure what the best way to do that was. I guess I could become a police officer or something but that didn’t feel like me. I could become a doctor, like I had told Scylla last July, but I wasn’t sure if I would survive medical school. Being a lawyer would mean seeing some of the worst in people, and the same went for becoming a politician.

I guess that was what worked about the Valley for me.  There, I didn’t have to worry about being anything but myself. There were no boxes to fit into, no grades for me to earn, and these days, not even a war for me to fight.

“Yeah, I guess,” I deflected, really not liking this conversation. “But it’s such a long time from now. There’s no use getting upset over it now.”

“Upset?” My mother laughed slightly, sniffling. “Oh, Violet. I’m not upset.”

Well that was a little insulting, and clearly untrue. I tilted my head, lost. “Wait, so… you’re not sad that we’re leaving?”

“Of course I am, but I’m also proud, and excited,” My mother took my hand and I blinked, surprised. “Violet, I know this may be hard to believe, but you and John are my world. I love you both so much, and I am so amazed by the people you have become. Yes, I’ll be sad to lose you, but I won’t be losing you, not really. There’ll be holidays, and phones, and I will get to see all the amazing things you and your brother do.” She smiled. “Change is a door to a better world.”

My stomach knotted a bit and I shivered. “Thanks, mom,” I said honestly.  “I love you too.”

I moved to leave, but paused as something near the bottom of the screen caught my eye. “What’s that?” I pointed to a picture on another person’s profile.

“Oh, that,” My mother rolled her eyes, clicking on the picture and enlarging it. A picture sprung up before me- a huge mass of people standing in what appeared to be a rally, wearing white t-shirts with what seemed like a black splotch in the middle of it. They stood around a suited man, addressing them from a podium, cheering. It looked like a weird political rally, except there was no red, white and blue. “It’s nothing. One of my friends from high school joined a cult.”

“A cult?” I repeated dubiously.

“Well, no, not technically,” My mother admitted begrudgingly. “It’s some organization which likes to talk about building a better world and generally complain about the future we’re building. They call themselves an interest group but I have no idea what they’re specifically interested in. I suppose if they can find comfort in each other in these dark times I should be happy for them. They’re not the only ones concerned about the world we’re leaving behind for our children.” Her voice trailed off. “So much war and hate…”

I stared, captivated, at the photo; Well, the man in the center at least. There was something eerily familiar about him, something so obvious, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Frowning, I narrowed my eyes.

I jumped as there was a bit of a thump from upstairs. My eyes widened- I’d forgotten about John.

“Er, I think I left a textbook on the edge of my desk,” I lied, backing away towards the door. “It must’ve fallen. I’ll pick it up and maybe finish up homework.”

“You do that honey,” my mother turned away from me, returning to her work. “And don’t let me, or these ‘Dark Heart’ people get you down. You have a bright future ahead of you.”

 

John jumped to his feet as I reentered my room, but his energy lessened a bit as he saw my face. “Woah, what happened down there?” He asked, scratching the back of his neck like he always did when he was confused or concerned.

“Mom was crying,” I told John and his eyes widened. “She’s worked up about us growing up and going to college.”

“That’s like forever from now though,” he frowned. “Why is she…?”

“I don’t pretend to understand parents,” I shrugged. “She just is. Which is weird, since I can’t even see myself in college.”

John gave me a funny look, and I sighed. “What is it? What did I say?”

“Sorry, it’s just…” John bit his lip. “You don’t see yourself in college?”

“You do?” I crossed my arms.

“Yeah,” John nodded, his face flushing. “I figured I’d go somewhere midsized, far away from a city, major in philosophy or history or something. Grow lame hairstyles just to try them, play intramural baseball, pop back to the Valley whenever I need a break. Maybe even join a fraternity.”

“I don’t know,” I looked away, a bit embarrassed by what I was about to say. “I mean, I guess… we’ve seen so much. I just never thought about it.” Quickly, I changed the subject. “We also talked a bit about some weird hippie movement. The Dark Heart?”

“Oh, yeah, I’ve heard of them,” John chewed his lip thoughtfully. “I think it started in Maine, actually, not that far from where I live. A lot of the kids at my school make jokes about them.”

I raised an eyebrow. “You don’t find it weird at all? A cult right in your backyard?”

“I’m in high school, Violet,” John laughed. “I have bigger things to worry about than how some people spend their Saturdays.”

I took John’s hand, unable to shake this weird feeling like something bad was about to happen. Whatever it was, I knew there was only one place I could figure out how to deal with it. “Alright then,” I took in a deep breath. “Take us to the Valley.”

 

When we appeared on the Moonlight Terrace, standing upright in the midst of bright flowers and tall torches that fought back the dark of evening, I already had a tissue ready. John took it gratefully, wiping away the dark tears which emerged whenever he pushed his magic to the limits.  Sometimes I worried about John- his body needed magic to constantly fight off the Nightlock poison, which meant his continued trips back and forth were dangerous. But John had grown a lot as a person and a magician, and he’d been doing well staying within his limits.

“Landing exactly took more than I thought,” John grunted, shoving the tissue in his pocket. “I should stick to dropping us in bodies of water.”

“Finally!”  Sapphire emerged from a golden gazebo built into the terrace, jogging up to us with undisguised excitement. “I was afraid John’d dropped you guys in the Mountains of Mystery or something!”

“No such luck,” Ruby growled as she followed her sister, in a foul mood despite the reassuring presence of her closest companion, Alysia. The gardener looked amused by the Princess’ mood, flashing me a grin as Ruby strode up to John.

“This was and is a horrible idea, possibly the worst that has ever come from your tiny, hollow brain,” she glared at my brother. “If my sister gets so much as bruised in the blackened pile of rubble you call a world I will end you.”

“The only reason she hasn’t killed you already is because it would be a PR nightmare,” Alycia chuckled, and John and Ruby both relaxed a bit.

“Everything will be fine, Ruby,” John flashed his most winning smile at the Crown Princess. “I promise.”

“Besides, are we forgetting the fact that I’m awesome and can take care of myself?” Sapphire smoothed her blue dress. “Anyone looks at me wrong, I’ll set them on fire.”

“Please don’t do that,” John and Ruby said at the same time, before exchanging sheepish looks. Alycia and I shared a look, and it took all I had not to burst into laughter.

“Ugh, look at me,” Ruby sighed, brushing her hair back and sighing. “Only a few years as a queen and I’m already as high strung as Hermia. I know you both have good- well, passable- judgement, and I trust you to be responsible.” She turned to her sister, giving her a quick hug. “Be careful out there,” she murmured. “And tell me everything when you get back.”

Sapphire separated from her sister, nodding. For once, she seemed to be at a loss for words. As she moved towards John, I stepped beside Ruby and flashed my old friend a reassuring smile.

“You take care of Violet,” John pointed at Ruby as he playfully took Sapphire’s arm. “No funny business. Keep her punching in check and make sure she stays in school.”

“Try not to teleport into lakes,” I fired backed, and John stuck out his tongue at me, and then he and Sapphire were gone, leaving Ruby, Alycia, and I alone on the vast terrace.

Ruby turned to me, looking tired already. “Well, this should be interesting.”

Poem: Amsterdam

The following is an insanely bizarre, free form poem written in August of 2017.

[image error]Image copyright Rose and Bean

There once was a very sad monkey, and he was super into doughnuts.

But the donuts were all sold out. They had been for 75 years.

 

The monkey considered quitting doughnuts.

He could move to Amsterdam, maybe, try something new. But

he’d spent so long defined by donuts he didn’t know how

he’d go on.

 

So he sat in a locked room for 30 days and wondered

who he was

where he was going

what really mattered

 

Would he ever find peace again?

Would he ever be whole again?

Or would he be holey enough to glaze and eat himself?

 

Somebody once offered him a bagel. It was gluten free and he didn’t like it. So he washed his mouth with rosewater and reentered his midlife crisis.

 

The monkey’s friend came along, a french terrier named Kell.

Kell was short for Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes.

Kell was a very nice guy and deserved a very unique name.

After all, good friends are rather uncommon.

 

Kell fed the monkey sushi in his sleep so he wouldn’t starve to death.

The monkey noticed a fishy aftertaste every morning but never connected the dots.

 

One day there was a horrible storm and

The storm came and it tore up trees and telephone poles.

The monkey was hit on the head with a flying paperclip and fell and

Well, he cracked his head pretty badly.

 

The monkey had amnesia.

Which was, weirdly, great for him.

No memory of doughnuts or Disasters or desire.

Just sushi and the friendship he shared with Kellogg the dog.

 

But Kell didn’t know what to do, because

His friend was better, yes, but his passion was gone.

He floated through life with a flat contentment

Unaware of joy, or pleasure, or resentment.

 

He went to his computer and searched up WebMD.

under the symptoms he found a metaphysical disorder

and scanned the treatments. Maybe his friend could be cured.

 

He couldn’t. There was no cure. The monkey was gone.

Just kidding, he was there, just floating along.

Without a care, or a joy, or a semblance of failure.

 

But sometimes when the skies get dark

And the roads glaze over

The monkey half remembers, and he calls it Poetry.