Aimee Brown's Blog, page 3

An Open Letter to Amazon…

Dear Amazon,

About six months ago I made a purchase from a seller in China, at the time of purchase I didn’t pay attention and didn’t even realize the product was coming from China (something I seem to do often). So I waited and waited… and I finally got my item and like I’ve been coerced to do by you via follow up email so many times after a purchase, I went to review it. It was going to be a great review because despite the wait it was exactly what I ordered (too bad I can’t even remember what it was). However, I was told I was not allowed to leave a review on that particular item because I was ‘too close to the seller’.

What? Did I have an evil twin, buying and leaving fraudulent reviews about a personal friend in China? I think not.

Thinking it was a fluke, I tried leaving a review a few days later for another purchase through your site. I got the same message. Since that date six months ago, without warning, my ability to review was stripped from me. I spend sometimes hundreds and hundreds of dollars a month on your site because I live in Montana, a place with little shopping. Amazon is much more convenient than driving over an hour to the nearest town with more shopping.

While not being able to review irritated me, I wasn’t surprised. See, I was a book blogger for a long time. I stayed up to date on your book review rules and followed them exactly. I never left fraudulent reviews, I was never paid or forced to leave a dishonest review. My reviews were honest, even when the author had contacted me offering the book for free (which according to your own rules, was allowed), I’d leave an honest review. Reviews weren’t expected of me, and when they were, I passed on those opportunities. I was the picture of someone who follows the rules because I love books and I loved being able to leave my genuine thoughts on a book I loved, hoping to help that book be seen by other readers who might love it as much as I did. Have I said hello to the author, in a friendly way? Maybe. But, I can’t say we’re out sharing secrets in the club bathroom on Friday nights. I’m not best friends with them or Mr. Chinaman from the first paragraph.

Yesterday, I was notified by you that because I had broken the rules (rules that I never broke & after being unable to review without notice for SIX MONTHS) I was permanently banned from reviewing any products on Amazon and all of my previous reviews (the ones where the rules were followed) were deleted by you (Guess what? That doesn’t just hurt me, it’s hurts the ranking of the products I’ve reviewed. Rankings those sellers have earned. You should know this.). I’ve heard through the grapevine that you’re retroactively deleting reviews that break the rules you have in place NOW. I’m not sure if that’s true but if it is, that’s not right. The thing is, those reviews followed your guidelines when they were left. So, punishing me now for breaking secret rules (that change every other day) that were apparently just put into place, doesn’t make a lot of sense. In fact, it makes me no longer want to shop with Amazon at all.

What really drives home the fact that I was unfairly punished for following the rules, is that so many paid reviewers, technical problem complaints as reviews, personally bashing authors in reviews, book stuffers, click farms, and dishonest people, are allowed to scam the system and get away with it. It not only hurts future Amazon shoppers but it hurts the sellers you have now, and the authors that work their asses off to follow your rules and sell books to readers that might, by the grace of God, leave a review.

See, I too am an author and I’ve worked my ass off for an entire year to get people to buy my book, and leave an honest review (good or bad, that’s their call). I’ve done everything in my power to follow every single rule you have (and change) and yet I’m still punished by having my reviews taken, daily. Verified reviews at that. Someone actually bought my book, took the time to read it and write a review (good or bad) and yet them following your own rules isn’t good enough, they’re still deleted.

So, I guess my question is, how fucked up is your algorithm that you’ve decided I can’t leave a review for a seller clear on the other side of the world because you have deemed I’m ‘too close’ to this unknown person?

How much damage are you doing to your own company by building a system that is so wrong about people doing right, and so wrong about people doing the fraud?

How exactly do you expect people to be on your side as you push us away, taking pieces of our paychecks with you?

How will you fix your very broken website so that the very people that are paying YOUR wages can actually make a living?

Now I know I will never have the answers to these questions and I’ll be ignored like every single time I’ve sent an email asking WHY my review ability was stripped even though I follow the rules. And I know losing sales from me won’t cause your company to go under. But, I also know this… there are a lot of websites on the internet, all selling the exact same things you are, and I for one will gladly start shopping with them, if their sellers, authors, and buyers are being treated fairly with rules that are clear, and not changing every hour of every day.

Sincerely,

The girl who pays for Amazon Prime and has NEVER gotten a package within the 2 day time frame (and who you always tell, it was recieved in that period…?)

365 Questions for a Better You, June edition.

Hey guys! My 365 Questions for a Better You is back! Of course, this isn’t my idea, I found the fabulous idea over at debbieinshape.com and you too can participate if you’d like! Obviously, there aren’t 365 questions in this post, but by the end of the year, there will be.

So, have fun learning things about me in this June edition of 365 Questions for a Better You!

152. Do you have your meals at your desk or while watching TV? 

Both? It really depends on what I’ve got going on. If I’m in the middle of a writing spree, it would be me eating over my keyboard until I feel like I can finally walk away. If I’m binge watching something then it would be me eating in front of the TV. Otherwise, I try to eat with my husband and kids at the dining table when we can.

153. How would you describe your ability to manage stress?

I thrive in stressful situations. Because of that I worked for a long time in healthcare, at the front desk of the ER, in the ER/Trauma side, and running the front desk of hugely busy hospitals. Stress and me, we just go hand in hand. I’m able to keep my cool and think quickly when I need to. So yeah, stress doesn’t bother me and I’ve never really felt the need to ‘manage’ it because I don’t normally notice it.

154. When was the last time you visualized yourself achieving your Dreams? 

About two days ago when I got an email I never expected. (Squee… I am so excited to tell you all at some point!) It’s safe to say that I’ve visualized myself achieving my dreams many times over the years and I’ve no doubt it will continue to happen many more.

155. Introvert or extrovert? 

This isn’t an easy question to answer for me. I’m not afraid to put myself out there and talk to people. I’m not shy. I’m kinda loud. But, I’m respectful when life calls for it. However, I’ve experienced a lot of crazy things in life, both at work and in my personal life so I’ve come to not love people as much as an extrovert does. I’d much prefer to be home than deal with assholes in some crowded event. I have a hard time warming up to people and opening myself up to get to know. Therefore I don’t have a lot of friends (which I am OK with) So… I dunno, maybe I’m a bitchy intro-extrovert? LOL

156. Have you ever skipped breakfast?

Everyday. I learned in high school when I got up at five in the morning for dance practice that eating first, made me queasy. Since then I stick with coffee in the morning and then eat lunch. I work better fully caffeinated as opposed to full of food.

157. What would you like to learn if you had the chance? 

Everything? I love to learn and if I’m interested I teach myself. I’ve taught myself how to design websites, graphics, write, marketing, parenting, wifing, and now… how to not kill houseplants. When you stop learning, you stop living.

158. What word do you say the most? 

OK, So, Fuck, What? (I have a slight hearing problem). Those would probably be my top four. I could literally say those four words as a complete sentence, just as written, all day long.

159. Have you ever been a victim of bullying? 

Yes. Not to an extreme or anything. I can think of three instances… as a teen in high school, I wouldn’t sleep with someone in the popular crowd who thought he had ‘earned’ it so he picked on me all through his senior (my freshman) year. Trust me when I say, it only proved that I was right in my decision not to sleep with douchewagons. As an adult, I’m tattooed, and not a size two. In fact, I’m plus sized and have been since I gave birth to my first son twenty years ago. I go up and down in my weight but I’ve not worn a single digit size since the 90’s. I’ve had people judge me on my weight, calling me fat, lazy, giving me that ‘judgemental look’… you name it.  I’ve had people tell me they’d ‘pray for my children’ as I obviously was a horrible mother since I had tattoos. Yeah, people are dicks and at the time I’d sulk off and let it bother me but over the years I learned that they can’t take my joy from me so I respond and let me tell you, those who have a lot to say when they think you won’t hear them or won’t stand up for yourself, yeah, they don’t have much to say when you call their bullshit out to their face.

160. Your favorite affirmation right now. 

No idea. This isn’t something I look for in life. I make my own joy and I’ve learned never to depend on finding affirmation from others.

161. To drive a car or a motorcycle? 

Car. I’m definitely not a motorcycle person. My husband and kids own motorcycles and four-wheelers and while I’ve ridden ATV’s, never a motorcycle. I’ve seen too much in the trauma room to not picture it if I was on a motorcycle.

162. How important is physical activity in your life? 

Ever since I was a kid I’ve hated intentionally working out. I’m just not one to set out to go to the gym or on a run. In fact, if you see me running, you better too. I’ll hike trails, or go for walks at times but yeah, me and intentionally working out, we just don’t jive.

163. What’s more important to you: personal life or professional career?

Both! Now that my kids are mostly grown I’m finding that I need both. I don’t have little children to care for any longer which gives me no excuse to not shower for days. So, I had to find something to do. I love my professional career. I’ve worked hard for it. It’s been my dream since I was a very young adult. My personal life is a little boring but, I’m not exactly 22 any longer. I’ve been married 20 years, my kids are mostly grown, and I’m finding that I prefer low-key. Watching movies, TV, writing, hanging out at home, shopping, hanging with my family. You won’t find me headed to the bar every Friday night to work on the worst hangover ever the next morning. I’ve grown out of it (and I live in Montana! not exactly exciting over here, folks). (Not to mention that the older you get, the worse the hangover is…)

164. What challenges have you overcome recently and how you did it? 

Here is the thing about this. Some people measure their challenges by comparison to someone else. I don’t. I run my own race. If something has challenged me, I work my ass off to get through it and when I look back it doesn’t seem like it was ever a challenge if it’s something I wanted. You get through challenges by working hard. By running your own race and not worrying about what the outside world might think.

165. Are you afraid of leaving your comfort zone? 

In some situations, yes. Like I said, I’m not exactly shy. When I had kids something switched on in me that showed me all the dangers in the world. As I’ve grown up, those fears have progressively gotten worse for some reason and I now sometimes have a hard time turning it off. Once in a while, I’ll become self-conscious or let someone else’s negativity get to me but I try my hardest to not let fear rule my life. It’s an area I’m constantly working on and probably will for the rest of my life.

166. Do you plan for the week or daily? 

I go day by day. I know what needs to be accomplished but I don’t think ahead. Let’s just get through one day and see what’s changed before I nail down plans or duties for later in the week.

167. How do you deal with opposition? 

I pick my battles. Not everything needs to be a fight. Some opposition isn’t worth acting on and really is only a problem for the person/idea opposing. I do well in stressful situations so I don’t notice much in the way of stressful oppositions. I try to stop and think about how I’m feeling and react accordingly if it’s worth it. I more often than not let things go faster than others. I make my peace and deal with my side of things. I also use humor. I can find the humor in just about anything.

168. Do you find it easy to stand up for yourself?

Yes. For myself and for others, whether I know them or not. I’m not the girl to pass by someone needing help and keep walking. I help, even if it puts me in danger. I notice my children do this as well. When I worked in healthcare there was something we used to tell patients who were struggling with having a dr or healthcare provider on their side. ‘You have to advocate for yourself because no one else will.’ That’s true in life. If you don’t stand up for yourself, who else will? Sure someone may come along and help you out but you are your best advocate. Speak up for yourself and don’t allow others to stomp on you in any situation.

169. When do you feel lonely? 

LOL… I don’t. This is kind of a joke in my house. I don’t crave company or attention. I’m perfectly happy being alone. I’m totally OK never talking about my feelings. I like silence. I like working on things I enjoy. I fill the silence with music and I do what I want. I’ve never felt lonely and I’m incredibly thankful for that.

170. Read a book or watch a movie? 

Both. I love books. I also love movies. I love to see how a book is turned into a movie and how it’s brought to life. There’s good in both of these things.

171. Who’s the most important person in your life right now? 

My family. My husband, my children, myself. They are my life and I’d do anything for them to succeed and be happy.

172. A public figure who inspires you. 

People who stand up for themselves and others. People who go after their dreams without worrying about how successful they’ll be. People who are honest and real. People who find the good in life. Nobody comes to mind specifically but I often read things and am inspired by actions and people.

173. What inspires your confidence?

Knowing that confidence can only come from within. No one can give it to you, you can only realize you have it. Everyone is so different that I sometimes think people look for confidence on the outside, with how they appear to others, but that’s not it. At least not to me. Confidence comes from who you are within. It comes from how driven you are to succeed in your dreams. It comes from how you choose to see life and yourself. I’m bitchy but insanely optimistic. I see life in an optimistic yet realistic light, and that achievements are only that if you work your way there and if you’re confident in what you’re doing, and if you’re not, keep going until you are.

174. Do you find it important to keep up with technology? 

I do like technology. (Love it, really) Though, I’m not one to run out and buy every edition of every electronic because the fact that it will be considered ‘old’ in less than a year pisses me off. Plus, I’m poor. I can’t afford all the cool gadgets that I wish I could.

175. What’s your main source of distraction? 

Cleaning, reading, music, writing, family. (not exactly in that order)

176. Your favorite small pleasure. 

Having extra money to do what I want with. Even if it’s just $20 I can grab something fun to do, nail polish, a new plant, a new book, new music, a large oreo with chocolate ice cream blizzard from Dairy Queen…  (lol that’s a little too specific, eh?)

177. How impairing is stress in your life? 

Like my answer above, it’s not. Somehow, I thrive in stressful situations. I stay calm and level-headed. I can’t explain it. I think fast and best when things are stressful at times.

178. Buy or rent a house?

I’ve only ever rented. We’ve moved around a lot and haven’t found that place where we want to stay the duration that buying a house would require. Maybe one day.

179. How much time do you spend daily watching TV? 

My TV is on all day but I only ever really watch maybe an hour or two a day. Unless I’m binge watching a show on Netflix or Hulu, then I’ve been known to spend a good 12-13 hours doing absolutely nothing else.

180. How better would your life be if you accomplished your Goal? 

I am accomplishing my goal and it’s very satisfying. I’ll continue to work at it, hoping to improve with each book I release. I’m happy with where I am, where I’m going, and will continue to learn and grow.

181. What’s your Purpose in life?  I don’t think we have one purpose in life. For a while, my purpose was to be a mom. My purpose is to be a wife, mom, writer, friend, daughter, sister, the list is never-ending. I think life brings us different purposes throughout our life. I hope that never stops.

OK… June 365 Questions, done!

I’d love to hear your questions or thoughts in the comments below!

#MusicMonday with Aimee…

Okie Dokie, folks. Today we’re going with a couple old school choices and a couple randoms. I might not admit it but I graduated high school in the mid 90’s and so I sometimes fall back on some of that older music. I guess it’s just a part of me. LOL So, enjoy some older tunes and newer tunes today and come back every Monday for five more of my weekly favs!

The Wallflowers – One Headlight

In high school, my boyfriend (now husband) has a jacked up Toyota with an enormous stereo system and I would seriously replay this song (well… this and White Zombie…) and somehow, decades later, I still love it.

30 Seconds To Mars – Rescue Me

I’ve never been that into this band but this song… I love it. It’s actually on my book 2 playlist (see above menu for book playlists) for a chapter that it was so fitting for.

The Offspring – You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid

In high school, I loved this band, despite my friends and boyfriend hating them. Well, they still hold a spot in my sometimes cold heart. ‘Dance Fucker, Dance.’

Imagine Dragons – Whatever It Takes

I’m not sure there is a song by this band that I don’t love. I actually have a couple lines from this exact song tattooed on my right arm. Photo below (and yeah, that’s a bracelet with The Lucky Dress (aka – Little Gray Dress) character Emi’s name).

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Run D.M.C. – It’s Tricky

Yeah, yeah… it doesn’t get nerdier than still liking Run D.M.C. What can I say? They’ll just never not be on my playlist. Could be worse, it could be Bel Biv Devoe…

Any songs you’re loving this week? Or have song lyrics tattooed on you? Tell me in the comments below!

-A

 

 

 

Why as a parent I said yes, to watching & reading 13 Reasons Why.

I’m sure I’ll get some hateful opinions on this because hate is everywhere. This post is going to be long but if you’re any kind of advocate for mental health and suicide awareness, I hope you’ll read it all the way through.

I don’t normally read young adult books, so I didn’t even realize this show was based off a book. Not because young adult books are bad but because they just aren’t my favorite genre. As I was scrolling through Netflix the other night I came across 13 Reasons Why. Now, I’ll be the first to admit that when this series came out last year, I read a lot about it. I mostly read negatives and I took them at face value that the series and book must not have been done well. I don’t want to be that ‘jumping on the why things are wrong without having experienced it’ bandwagon so, I bought the book, read it in a couple hours and literally binge-watched the first season on Netflix yesterday (yes, twelve hours of TV). Last year I was wrong to jump to a conclusion before experiencing the book and show myself, but I was also right in a few different ways. Let me start out with a bit about myself and my experience with some of the hard topics this book and series deals with.

I’ll be forty in a few weeks. My kids are ages 20, nearly 19, and 14. My house is full of depression, so I’ve got a lot of experience with being woken up in the middle of the night and talking someone down off the cliff they’re nearing the edge of. I’ve had a child confess they had contemplated suicide. I’ve personally dealt with a friend committing suicide when we were in high school, it was my first experience with death. I’ve worked in a huge ER that had dozens of people daily, checking themselves in for suicidal thoughts, or attempts. I’m anti-suicide, pro-mental health care. I actually considered doing this post via video but I feel so strongly about all this I’m not sure I’d make it through without my emotions getting the best of me.

Now before you jump on your high horse and race to leave me a nasty comment about why this show and book are trash, take a second to realize that the attitude that comes with that, is the exact attitude that this show fights. The ‘me first’ or the ‘I’m right’ attitude is the same attitude that clouds our judgment from ever seeing a different opinion. I know not everyone will agree with me, and that’s OK. These are my thoughts, and my feelings, based on my experiences on my own blog. I’m allowed to have an opinion that might be different than yours and I’m allowed to voice it in an educated, non-judgemental way. I can’t say I’ve suffered from depression myself, not more so than the regular once in a while ‘my life sucks’. But, I’ve experienced depression at it’s worse from every other angle and I feel like I’ve got enough understanding of both sides to write this post.

I’m going to break this down into the good and the bad of this Netflix series (and how it differed from the book). I’m more than willing to have a discussion in the comments below, but please spare negativity or holier than thou comments. Be a courteous and caring adult.

The Good (or maybe, the ‘realistic’) :

– High School drinking, parties, sex, backstabbing, and bullying.

How is this good I hear you ask? Well, those things are uncomfortable to watch and they should be. Unfortunately, all those things actually happen not only in high school, but in college, and in life. This show depicted the high school I knew 20+ years ago and the high schools I know now. If you’re offended that they had these rough topics in a teen show, you need to pull your head from Lalaland, my friend. This shit happens. And it happens a lot more than you might like to believe. Even the so-called ‘good kids’ participate sometimes. This topic was done well in both the book and the series. It made me uncomfortable and reminded me of high school.

–Emotions, in particular, high school emotions.

This was done well, in both the book and the series. These kids had teenage responses to serious situations. When you’re in high school there is the over emotional tendency. Not because these kids are drama queens or vying for attention (obviously, some do) but because they are new at life and they’re figuring out how to deal with hard things. When you’re in high school, for the most part, you’re worried about your high school self. You’re consumed in the problems happening right then and how they affect your right then high school life. For the most part, you aren’t thinking of your life in ten or twenty years. You’re not realizing that high school is a minimal part of your life. At that moment it is your entire life. But I promise you, once you’re out of high school, you’ll probably not look back and wish you’d chosen a permanent solution (like suicide)for a very temporary problem. I know in the moment some of the things you’ll go through in high school will seem like a huge deal, the worst days ever, but they will pass. Most of those things you won’t even remember later in life.

I lost a friend in high school to suicide and that did stick with me. She wasn’t my best friend, and really we were only close for the first few months she moved to our school. I probably don’t know all the reasons she did what she did, I’ve heard why but I’ll never really know. Her death was my first experience with death. It changed me and instilled something in me that made me have these hard conversations with my own kids, starting when they were old enough to understand. It heightened my suicide and depression awareness senses (sometime to the point of unhealthy). Her decision was a snap judgment, that I’m sure she’d never have made later in life. Ever. It was her sixteen-year-old self probably being overly dramatic about something she’d look back at as a small thing had she made it past it. It wasn’t worth it then and I’m sure it wouldn’t have even crossed her mind now if she looked back at her reasoning. I did a lot of stupid shit in high school. I lost friends, I went to parties and made bad decisions, but I grew up after. She didn’t let herself have that chance. I’m not that same person I was in high school and you won’t be either. I feel like that last sentence should have been portrayed better than it was in the show. Kids need to see that high school is really only important in high school. It’s 4 years of your life, and the rest you won’t spend in the same mindset.

-The Suicide Ripple.

This can be a real thing and people need to know that. Not a wanted thing, but there will always be someone around you who isn’t doing well mentally and this will trigger them. Having a suicide happen around them, can make them contemplate, or even do, the same thing. They did depict this in the show well (not in the book) and they did warnings before each show and at the beginning of the series.  Emotions were high, and many times it was mentioned that others were considering or hinting at, suicide. In fact, I think it will be even more prevalent in the second season.

As a teen, when my friend committed suicide, I admit, for a split second I thought maybe she was onto something. Something to avoid the pain in life. But, that thought quickly fled. For some though, it doesn’t, it stews and becomes a part of them. So in this aspect, this part will also be a part of the negative.

-Suicide Awareness and Support.

Suicide awareness and suicidal support are two VERY different things. It’s one thing to make people aware of the signs of someone who is suicidal (which is what the school was doing in the show). It’s a whole other thing to really support someone who is showing signs in a way that can help them (this was NOT done well in the show or book). You can’t have awareness, without proper support, unfortunately, that’s what so many of our schools do.

The Bad (or maybe, the ‘taking it too far or not taking it far enough’):

-Rape & Sexual Assault.

This was graphic (it wasn’t graphic in the book), and I’m not sure that was necessarily needed to get the point across. But, it made viewers uncomfortable, which it should. And for those who think forcing someone to have sex is ok or that groping or even touching someone without their permission is no big deal, I hope it made you rethink that attitude. It was put in the series and even in the book to make you uncomfortable. No one wants to see it, no one wants it to happen to them, but turning a blind eye to things that make you uncomfortable doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. It doesn’t mean you’ll never experience it yourself or through someone you love. We live in a rape and sexual assault culture and until us as parents, have the balls to truly talk about this very uncomfortable yet very serious problem with our children, that culture will never change.

-Suicide.

Yes, suicide is a bad thing. It’s only a way out for the person committing. After that, your problems, are now your families heartbreak. A heartbreak that never heals. Ever. I think them actually visually showing Hannah’s suicide took it a bit too far. It wasn’t needed to drive the point home. It wasn’t needed because the show isn’t technically about Hannah’s act of suicide. It was about the ripple effect suicide has on those around you. It’s about the fact that every single thing you say in life, can silently affect someone else in both positive and negative ways. I know we live in a ‘me first’ world, but this show is actually uncomfortable because it brings that me first attitude to the surface. Every single character, has a me first problem. They were more concerned about how others would see them, than about how their actions could affect the people around them.

-Hannah.

I wanted to like Hannah, and in parts of the book & series, I did. I saw a lot of typical young high school girls in Hannah. The self doubt, the wanting to fit in, trying to find where she belongs, she had all that. But, Hannah didn’t really talk to people about anything she was truly feeling. She pushed people away, while blaming them. She gave up speaking for herself at times. She said things in riddles, vaguely at that, and she expected her so-called friends and family to just figure things out. That won’t happen in our ‘me first’ society, ever.

There was a line in the series at the end where Hannah says ‘I think I made myself very clear’. No, Hannah, you didn’t. And the scriptwriters need to see this flaw. Hannah NEVER told anyone she was considering suicide. The word NEVER came out of her mouth. She never told anyone she was considering hurting herself. In fact, when the counselor asked her at one point if she was considering harming herself, SHE SAID NO. She said in the anonymous note that she thought things would be easier if she didn’t feel. She told Zach in the note she wrote him how hard her life was but she didn’t tell him she was considering suicide. The very few things that proved she was indeed considering death as an out, were the things she didn’t claim (the anonymous note, the poem…) That’s being vague and is something I’ve heard many times over the years from people in general.

I read somewhere that people think this show Glamorizes suicide. There was nothing glamorous about Hannah’s story. It was heartbreaking, as were the stories of her friends. The only ‘glamour’ here is the fact that it’s on TV. This is a hard show to watch and a hard book to read. But, it deals with real-life problems that are all too often swept under the rug. Problems that are too uncomfortable to get involved in. Problems that are hard to read at times.

I’ve worked in a high traffic ER with a LOT of attempted and contemplating suicide patients and one thing I know is that people can’t help you if you don’t say what you need help with. When people checked into this particular ER for mental health reasons, in order to be admitted, like they were asking, we needed to hear it, ‘I’m thinking of harming myself’, ‘Im suicidal’… we needed those words. Not a riddle of emotions. There is NO shame in asking for help. I promise you that. If you can’t find someone to help, go to the ER and they will help you. You won’t be the first, I promise. There IS help out there if you ask. But not everyone will see the signs. Why? Because we’re ALL going through something. Each and every one of us is fighting a battle that no one else sees. Please, if you need help, ask for it, but don’t speak in riddles and then make a decision based on the reactions (or lack of) that you get. Once you say the words, suicide, self-harm, people will step forward to help. SOMEONE will.

-Revenge.

I didn’t actually see ‘revenge’ as much in the book. It was in the show (obviously to create more drama because it’s a fictional show) I did see Hannah desperately trying to make a point that words, actions, rumors, and lies, can ruin someone, even kill. And unfortunately, that is true and the same words can cause a different effect in every individual because we’re all going through something different. However, if someone didn’t ‘get’ you in life, if they didn’t see what their actions were affecting, they likely won’t see it when you’re gone either. There is no ‘suicide revenge’. Suicide is not a joke, it’s not a payback, and it will guaranteed, hurt the ones you actually love and who actually love you the most. The ones who showed you who they really were by hurting you, you’ll never pay them back by committing suicide. They will probably always live in the ‘me first’ world until their own life is somehow affected.

-The Suicide Ripple.

I mentioned this in the positives, not because it’s a good thing but because the show included this well. However, this is a show/book/topic, that can trigger people who are already struggling. That doesn’t make it a bad show or book. If you can’t watch or read it, please don’t. However, I think there are people out there who needed to see this show or read this book. It’s a topic, a variety of topics really, that is so hush hush, that some parents NEVER speak to their children about it. Some schools avoid the topics like the plague. Some people will blame the victims instead of the bullies. Something has to change, and unless we get these topics out there, even as uncomfortable as they are, change will never happen.

—

In closing, I just want to say that I get that this show/book isn’t for everyone. I understand how uncomfortable it is. But these things do exist. These topics do need to be talked about with our children. We do need to be willing to step up and help when someone asks, no matter how uncomfortable that makes you. Know the signs, and if you see them, DO SOMETHING. Also, if you are in need of someone to listen, there is help. Please don’t be afraid to ask for that help. You’d be surprised how many good people will step up and help you battle whatever you’re struggling with. Parents, be involved and TALK TO YOUR CHILDREN. Not only about the topics above but about being kind and being aware that everyone is going through something. Kindness can go a long way, and save someone you might not even know.

If you are depressed, please know that you can reach out for help. If you’re feeling like life isn’t worth it, there is help out there. Please don’t suffer alone. I support these amazing organizations and hope they can bring you some comfort if you or someone you know is struggling with life.

Suicide Prevention Lifeline – https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ – find them on twitter @800273TALK

To Write Love On Her Arms – https://twloha.com/ – find them on twitter @twloha

13 Reasons Why – https://13reasonswhy.info/

 

 

Hello #MusicMonday… What am I listening to this week?

Hola, Amigos!

I am one of those women who wear headphones to avoid people. Although, with wireless headphones, that’s now a little harder to do without pretending like you’re just deaf altogether. So… my kids are older, grown, or moved out, and I spend most of my days alone, cleaning, writing, and cleaning some more. I spend many hours a day with headphones in my head and a Google music subscription that allows me to listen to basically whatever fancies my mood.

Music genres vary for me depending on how I’m feeling or what I’m writing. I do lean towards the alternative side of the spectrum for the most part but I do dabble in just about everything else as well at times.

Here are my top five songs I find myself replaying this week –

Blue October, I Hope You’re Happy

I adore this band and have for years. I’ve seen them live two or three times over the years and just can’t get enough of them. They were amazing when they were dark and depressing and they’re amazing now that they’re sober and inspiring. This song is SO unlike their others, but still awesome. It’s almost 80’s-ish. It’s on their new album coming in August (which I preordered weeks ago). Plus, I’m like, totally in love with Justin Furstenfeld (I almost touched him once!), so he could sing me the freaking dictionary and I’d probably swoon. Yes, please.

Foo Fighters, All My Life

I love Foo Fighters in general so just about any of their songs could go here, any day of the week, no matter what my mood is, I’ll always replay the Foo.

James Bay, Pink Lemonade

I’d never heard of this guy until last week when Google suggested him. I may or may not have listened to this song on repeat for two days. I absolutely love it and I’m not even sick of it yet. And… look at that shirt?! Wowsers!

Michael Ray, Her World or Mine

I’m not the biggest country fan out there, although if you knew me in high school, I kinda was (I wore the lacer boots, went to the country concerts, was totally into the whole wrangler butts thing… so, yeah). But, this song is so incredibly sweet and he’s pretty cute, I wouldn’t complain if he wanted to sing to me.

Coldplay, Everglow

That’s right, I’m nearly 40. (Isn’t liking Coldplay a dead giveaway you’re middle-aged? Kind of like still being into The Beastie Boys? (which I still am))I love Coldplay and I absolutely am mesmerized by rock/alternative music that has piano or symphony bits and this song is just gorgeous and the lyrics are beautiful as well.

That’s it for this week. Come back next week for five new tunes straight from my ‘love it’ playlist.

What’s a song you’re crushing on this week?

(Comment below & I’ll check it out!)

-Aimee

365 Questions (not really…) to Get to Know Me… May 2018 Edition

First of all, don’t panic, there aren’t really 365 questions in each post but over the course of a year, there will be. I don’t care how interesting a person you are I couldn’t sit through a single post with that many questions. LOL

I found this fun post from a site called – debbieinshape.com and it seemed like fun. Even though I’m 40 next month, I don’t think I’ll ever truly know everything about myself because I’m constantly changing. What a fun way to explore things that I’ve maybe not ever thought about.

Here we go… May 2018 Questions

121. Electronic calendar or paper planner? Paper! I’m old school in that even if I utilize my phone’s calendar, I still write it down somewhere because I just for some reason cannot remember to check my phone. I’m all for physical monthly planners and I buy them far too often. (Target has some awesome ones for pretty cheap!)

[image error]122. What’s your opinion about dieting? Besides the fact that I’m always on one? I’ll admit I’m not some tiny little woman who can eat anything she wants and never gain a pound. Nope, I’m plus size and I eat whatever I want even though I shouldn’t and just the thought of the scale sometimes makes me want to just chuck the damn thing out the window. I do diet though, cause I gotsta. I don’t want to end up being lifted from my home via crane at some point.

123. How would you decorate the perfect room? LOL over and over? At least that’s what my husband would say to answer that . I get bored easily and switch out decor a lot. But I kind of use a mix of new and vintage. I love anything retro and unique. I hate walking into houses that look exactly like everyone else’s (*cough* The Farmhouse Trend *cough* that shit will be out of style within a couple years… *cough*). I like color, dark walls, relaxing lighting, and unique things that not everyone else has. I scour thrift stores, Etsy, eBay, and TJ Maxx for unique things to put in my home. I’m pretty full up but I doubt that will ever stop me.

124. Random act of kindness you practiced today. Um… I didn’t yell at anyone as I walked through Costco? (& trust me, I could have…) OH! I donated to the local children’s hospital… I seriously almost forgot the one selfless thing I did today. *insert rolling eyes smilie here*

125. Countryside or the beach? The beach. I hate the country. I’m not a very outdoorsy kind of gal and I’d probably pick somewhere like a tropical beach (cause I live in cold ass Montana so I could use some tropical sun) near a big city because I’m much happier in a city (even though I hate people).

[image error]126. What makes you happy? My family (most of the time), coffee, music, my adorable little office that is just so me, writing, shopping (as long as it’s not for groceries), the sun, and watching the very few TV shows I love.

127. Do you think that breaks are for lazy people? I’m pretty sure I’d be considered a lazy person and breaks for me consist of dragging my ass out of this computer chair and walking around the house, cleaning, or anything that gets my mind off whatever part of the story I’m trying to write that’s pissing me off.

128. Describe the lifestyle of your Dreams. I’m pretty happy with my life, but I wouldn’t complain if I had a couple million dollars, a new car, a paid off house, you know, security financially for myself and my family. I’d love to take one of those things where you board a plane and relax, what are they called? Vacations? Yeah, that’d be nice at some point in life.

129. An event you’ll remember your entire life. The birth of my children. I still remember it like it was yesterday even though it was 20, 18, & 14 years ago.

130. Favorite season of the year. Summer!! I need the warm sun, and a lot less of this Montana winter bullshit.

131. How frequently do you take deep breaths?  A lot. Deep breathes is my relaxation reminder. I also have severe, severe asthma so being able to take a deep breath is pretty damn amazing, cause I know what it feels like to not be able to do so.

[image error]132. One fun fact about yourself.  I’m pretty girly, painted nails, obsession with perfume, lover of color, yet I’m covered in tattoos. That’s kind of why I did it… I like the contrast of really girly vs really tattooed. It’s a reminder that you should never judge a book by its cover.

133. Who influenced you the most during your childhood? My parents, and my grandparents. Despite the fact that I hated school, they instilled in me a love of learning and I’d now consider myself pretty damn smart. A little too smart for my own good at times. I want to know everything, I want to read everything, and I hate to speak unless I know what the hell I’m talking about.

134. What do you love about your job/career? I get to make up my own friends and worlds and create a story that causes true emotions in other humans. Is there actually anything better? I don’t consider it a job, because I adore doing it. It’s just a part of me that I’m not sure I could shove away if I wanted to.

135. What does your successful day look like? If I can walk away from this computer with having written even just a single page that I feel good about, I’d consider that successful.

136. What do you generally do before going to bed? Clean up the house. I hate waking up to dishes, clutter, and a mess. I’m OCD like you can’t imagine so if anything isn’t perfect, off-center, not where it belongs, I have to fix it before I can relax. If I don’t, I find myself up in the middle of the night to do exactly that so I can stop tossing and turning.

[image error]137. How do you define yourself? Quiet until I get to know you, then I’m the least serious person you’ll ever meet. I’m also the person who will say the absolute most wrong thing at the absolute most wrong time and then I’ll laugh.  Oops. I’m a romantic, yet foul-mouthed, I hate talking about my feelings (I don’t have much in the way of feelings) and I don’t want to gossip. I’ve been told I’ve got the personality of a man more times than I can count, and I’m quite OK with that.

138. How often do you plan some me-time? My kids are mostly grown, one lives on her own, one is 20 with a full-time job, and the other is 14. I get a lot of me-time so I pretty much do anything I want or nothing.

139. When you earn extra money, do you save it or spend it? Lately, I’ve been trying to focus more on saving, but also buying what I want if I want something. Why wait? Life is short.

140. Cat or dog? Cat. I’m sure I’ll get hate for this but I despise dogs. We have three, and while I love them, they’re like taking care of toddlers. I will never get another dog. I just am not a dog lover. Sorry.

141. Your mindset today. Relaxed and content, but brainstorming a story that I’m just about ready to knock out.

142. The last person you called (non-professional). Besides Donald Trump? Hahaha! Like I’m gonna tell you… I’m no gossip.

143. Do you bring work to do at home? I work from home, so everything I do is at home.

[image error]144. What do you like the most about your city? Wishing I actually lived in a city? Montana isn’t my first choice (or at this point even my 45th choice) to live. We came here for a job of my husbands and he now owns his own thriving business, my kids are leaving to live on their own, and so I feel kind of stuck. My family knows this, but I just don’t know what city or state would be perfect? I’ve moved around the country and haven’t found it yet so, I’ll stick it out for now because my husband loves it here, my kids are here, and I love them.

145. If you could jump travel, where in the world would you be right now? So many places, New York City, Bora Bora, Aruba, London, Paris, Greece, Spain, Australia, New Zealand, Abu Dhabi, Hawaii, A-N-Y-W-H-E-R-E but Montana for awhile.

146. In the car, do you listen to the radio or CD? I listen to the music downloaded onto my phone or Sirius XM AltNation.

147. Do you hold to clutter? Nope. I always tell people I’ve no sentimental values. I never meant to be that way but I am. If it’s considered clutter, it’s gone.

148. What motivates you? Living a life I love and creating my own happiness. I’m sure you’ve gathered that I don’t love where I live so I make sure I create my own happiness. There are times where Montana isn’t terrible (the eight week summers?), it’s a beautiful state, with outdoor activities some die for, but being I’m not all outdoorsy, it’s not for me. So, I create my own happiness by writing the worlds I’d love to live in.

149. How do you describe your time management skills? I’m a perfectionist with massive amounts of OCD. I organize, schedule, prepare, all that crap. I’m never late, I get things done early, and I try my best not to procrastinate.

150. What’s more important to you: win or participate? To not compete.

[image error]151. How do you deal with peer pressure? I don’t. My husband and I have a joke that I was never one of those wives who was meant to ‘submit’ to their husband, or anyone for that matter. I don’t let others affect who I am, and I don’t care if they like it or not. I do what I want when I want.

Join me next month for another list of questions about me.

Have a follow-up question? Ask away in the comments and I’ll answer!

-Aimee

 

 

Getting to Know Myself…

I’m a writer. Until it comes to blog posts. I can sit here and stare this stupid blank blog box for hours on end and find a million things to do, none that are actually writing the damn post. I struggle to find something in my life interesting enough to tell others about. I’m not a complete bore… but I don’t live in a big city, I live in a house full of boys (well… men, technically) and I just don’t have much going on besides writing whatever story I’m working on next. I have decided to make more of an effort to let you guys into my life though, so here is my plan…

–Weekly Posts–

#MusicMondays – I’m a music addict, I wear headphones pretty much 8 hours a day while I work, clean, shop, avoid speaking to anyone in the human race outside of my own home, you name it. Each week I’ll list my top five songs of the week, videos (if available) included. I like so many genres of music that you just never know what you might find on my lists. Music also inspires SO much of my writing, so you’ll get an insight into my head as I make people up for a living.
#TeaserTuesdays – I love creating worlds and I love sharing those worlds with you guys. Each week, I’ll pick a random page and line from one of my books or works in progress, and I’ll share a snippet. And… I’ll encourage you to do the same in something you’re writing, have written, or are reading.
#WriterWednesday – I like to read, which means I admire SO many authors both indie and non. Wednesday’s I’m dedicating my posts to an author I love or a book I’m reading. If you love chick lit, women’s fiction, contemporary romance, romantic comedy, or even cozy mystery, you’ll love my reads. Promise.
#ThursdayThoughts – This will be my ‘what I’ve done or thought this week’ LIVE Facebook Video day. I’ll ramble on about whatever I’ve been up to, been writing, been bitching about, whatever it is, it’ll be here. If you don’t like snark or cursing, you might not love me…

–Monthly Posts–

First week of each month – 365 Questions For a Better You –  I found this cool post over on DebbieInShape.com and each month she posts a list of questions for you to answer, which no matter your age, is a fun way to get to know yourself a little better, or for your followers to get to know you a bit better. (my first post for this will follow this one)
Random – Around the Town with Aimee – Yup, you just never know when or where I might end up and I’m going to LIVE video and bring you weirdos with me once a month. Maybe I’ll be at the tattoo parlor, the bookstore, the lake, or my parent’s house, who freaking knows but you get to join me in whatever shenanigans I get myself into. Yay!
Third week of each month – Decorating on a Budget – I love home decor and I swear I change something in my house monthly (just ask my husband). I’m also a starving artist so I don’t have the money to shop Pottery Barn, Williams-Sonoma, Anthropologie, or those other fancy, spendy, home stores and I prefer vintage anyway. Once a month I’ll post something new I’ve decorated or organized and just how I did it and how much it costs.
Fourth week of each month – I’ll Take Giveaways for Fun – I’m a writer and I like to gift my readers with fun things whether it be ebooks, audiobooks, print books, random trinkets and treasure, gift cards, or whatever. I’ll give something away monthly, so don’t miss it!

I fully intend to miss days, procrastinate, and generally B.S. about nothing at times, but the point of this is to put myself out there and be a tad more personable to the people who give a rats ass about my daily to-dos. So, don’t miss out! Next week I’ll be doing my very first ‘Around the Town with Aimee‘ and you will be intrigued, I promise! (Self-inflicted pain always conjures up a crowd… lol)

See ya soon!

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I have news!

Hello!

It’s been an exciting month for me and I’m SO excited to be able to finally share my big news with all of you! Seriously, I’ve been about to explode!

Back in November, my current publisher decided to allow authors to have their rights returned upon deciding to close in the future. I’d rather not answer questions about this and I wish them nothing but the best. My rights were officially reverted yesterday so that means that the eBook and print book is no longer available on Amazon. But, this is temporary. You can still purchase the Audiobook on both Amazon and Audible, that won’t change.

Here comes the exciting part…

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[image error]I’ve signed a 4-book deal with Aria Fiction/Head of Zeus!! Woot! The first book published will be a rebranded (new cover, new title, new edit, word addition) Little Gray Dress.  I will be treating it exactly like a new release so stay tuned for info. Looks like it’s coming out in late summer. Every six-month following that will be another release (one of which is already written).

I’m REALLY excited to be a part of this fabulous publisher and would like to thank Melanie of Aria for her excitement about my writing and myself.

I’d also like to thank my agent Sarah for her hard work for anything I need.

Without these two women I don’t know how I’d be feeling right now but with them, I feel blessed and really excited about the future. Thank you, readers, for making LGD as popular as it has been. I promise you won’t be disappointed with the new version or the future books coming your way. I hope you will stick with me on this journey.

[image error]Check out my author FB page at 3pm PST for a LIVE video of me chatting about my news, answering questions, and just generally spewing nonsense as normal.

You can find my author FB page here – http://facebook.com/authoraimeebrown

To stay up to date make sure you sign up for my newsletter (which will be going out once a month) by clicking the newsletter link at the top of the site (just under the header).

If you are a fan of LGD and want to be updated about all the news early I’d love to invite you to join my FB author street team by clicking the image to the left.

Thank you so much for reading my news and celebrating with me!

I’ll also be doing a LIVE chat on The Fiction Cafe Sunday 4th March 2018 at 8pm GMT – you can find it here – https://www.facebook.com/groups/FictionCafe/ – I’d love to see you there for a chat & Little Gray Dress audiobook giveaway.

-Aimee

 

I support #GunControlNow and here’s why…

I hate guns. My husband and my adult son both own guns. They both are extremely safe with them and take every precaution to make sure nothing goes wrong. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m the exact girl who convinces myself that even a gun that’s taken apart, could accidentally go off, even though I truly know that’s not at all possible. I grew up around guns and learned the safety of guns at a very young age. Despite the fact that my husband and son own guns (no semi-automatic guns) they agree that assault rifles should be banned. No one needs an arsenal of weapons.

I’ve been posting a lot on gun reform on social media lately and there is a reason for that. I’ve not lived the horror some of these mass school shooting victims have, and my heart absolutely breaks for them. I know from my own experiences that they will carry this with them for life. They will not get over it. It will haunt them forever. It’s now a part of their life. No one deserves that. Especially not teenagers or children with their whole life ahead of them. Let me tell you a couple stories why I feel so strongly about this.

In 1994 I was a junior in high school standing in the hallway at my locker when what sounded like a book slamming against the ground startled everyone. I found out moments later, that it wasn’t a book. It was a gunshot into a classroom just a few yards from where I was standing directed at a single student. No one died and only one person was shot. But, we were rushed to the gymnasium for an hour or so until the police could secure the scene and figure out what exactly did happen. I honestly don’t remember being too terrified because back then, mass school shootings just weren’t a thing. Even trying to wrap my head around a single gunshot at school by a student was nearly impossible. School shootings just didn’t happen then. Turns out it was a freshman or sophomore mad at a bully, taking the matter into his own hands. My question then was, how did he even get a gun? Why would he ever choose to shoot someone?  I still don’t understand it and every school shooting since confuses me even more.

That is story number one. My next story I have to be a lot vaguer because of HIPAA laws. I can’t name the town or state or even what exactly happened to who and where.

Not too long ago I worked in the Emergency Room of a large hospital. I’d been working at the hospital for awhile but I’d only been in the ER for about a week. I worked in registration, checking people in at the front desk, in their rooms, even being the one who admitted those coming in via ambulance, life flight and the trauma room. One day, there was a mass shooting that put us on lockdown. The shooting happened a town away but we were the largest hospital in the area. I was kind of rotating around the ER that day due to training and I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Mass shootings weren’t unusual at that point, but I’d never been directly involved in the aftermath of one. Our hospital starting receiving victims via helicopter. There weren’t dozens of victims, but there were enough. The mood was frantic, shocked, terrified, you name it. Even working in the ER doesn’t prepare you for a mass shooting. Watching these people come in and SEEING them in the trauma room was difficult, to say the least.

I was then stationed at the front desk where families started coming in frantically. One man approached the desk telling me his brother had been involved and was headed to our hospital via helicopter. He gave me the brothers name, we were unable to find him in our system so my trainer disappeared into the ER behind me to see what she could find out. The man at my desk was odd, to say the least. Pacing with a woman by his side, clearly distraught, but there was something else too. Every few minutes he would stop at my desk and give me bits of information on what he knew or had heard. He was making me nervous. He wasn’t like the families wondering if their family member not answering their phone was one of the victims.

Only when I found out that this man was the presumed shooters brother, did I internally freak out as I externally tried to keep my cool. I was told to keep him in my sight, don’t let him leave, that the police were coming to talk to him but to not let on that they were. They didn’t want him to disappear. I knew through info we were getting that the brother’s name, the man standing in front of me, had already come up in the very new investigation. My only thought at this point was that the guy was already freaking me out before I knew this and now, how did I know that he wasn’t there to continue what his brother started? How did I know that he wouldn’t suddenly brand a gun and shoot me? I didn’t. At that moment, before the police approached him, there were a few minutes where I just kind of made my peace that I might be the next face on the TV screen as a victim. I was sitting in a place that I considered safe, a hospital ER with unarmed security guards, cameras, nurses, and doctors, but I didn’t feel safe. I was scared. I was scared for the people involved, the witnesses, and now for myself.

Even though things were quickly taken care of that momentary terror has haunted me for years. This particular shooting took place in a restaurant. Even though I wasn’t sitting in that restaurant, I can’t go there and I don’t even live in the same state any longer. I can’t go in any of them because I know too many details and have too many visions of the aftermath replaying in my head of that day. I still remember exactly how I felt not knowing what this guy was there for and if I would be next because maybe, for all I knew, he was involved. I’ll live with that terror forever. I’ll live with those images forever.

I have SO many stories similar to the one above after working in healthcare for so long. A distraught soldier friend standing at my desk in a public office telling me he’s had a gun to his head multiple times over the last week and that the VA wouldn’t help, obviously battling severe PTSD, telling me he’s hidden his guns. I was scared with his erratic behavior, how did I know he wasn’t carrying right that second getting ready to take himself out right in front of me, and maybe me and everyone in the room, with him? A co-worker and neighbor killed by her friend’s boyfriend because a gun was right there. Comforting families who’s child was just killed via a gun due to gang violence. A random woman telling me that a nurse has done her wrong and wondering where she can find the nearest nurse to do what, I’ll never know. It never gets easier to see and the pain is SO real. We lived in a fucked up world.

No one needs an arsenal of weapons and if they have one, I truly think we need to ask why? It’s not even about mental illness at this point. ANYONE can snap. ANYONE can make a last-second decision that can change so many lives. A difficult day, being bullied, hardships, can turn a normal person into someone they didn’t even know they were. Even people who might never have done it normally can do something crazy. Easy access to a gun can make it too easy to choose violence.

I can’t EVER get behind guns because of the experience I’ve had. No one will change my mind on that and I guarantee, when you’re put in the position that I was, or that these kids who’ve lived through these shootings have, you’ll change your mind. My experience doesn’t even compare to the shootings that have happened to others. And if it’s affected me, imagine watching your best friend die right in front of you. Imagine texting your loved ones and saying goodbye because you’re in danger.

It’s easy to talk a big game about the 2nd amendment until you’re suddenly a part of a life-threatening situation that you have no control over. If you think that someone armed could neutralize a shooter, you’re wrong. When you’re in a moment of terror like that, you forget your own fucking name. There is zero way to think that you or a teacher scared for their life, and their student’s lives would be the one to keep your cool and be able to actually do something fast enough to save even your own life, let alone others. Every police officer shot is armed. Every president shot had armed secret service around them. It didn’t save them. Kids deserve to go to school… not a prison campus. You don’t fix guns with more guns. That’s like saying we’ll kick meth, with more meth. Do some research. No one is saying to take ALL the guns. That said, no one needs weapons of war. If you want them that bad, join the fucking military.

So, I will continue to fight for stronger gun control and safety in our country. If you can’t get on board with that, I bid you farewell cause I don’t need your ‘know all’ when you’ve never experienced it in real life. You can have all the ‘opinions’ you want but save your ‘knowledge’ for a situation you’ve actually experienced.

-A

Valentine’s & Romance Books

I write romance books. Which means I kind of experience Valentine’s Day just about everytime I sit down at the computer to write. That feeling of a new love, a first kiss, the possibility that someone is as smitten with you as you are with them, those are the feelings everyone wants to experience on Valentine’s Day and as a romance writer (one who’s been married for over 20 years) I get to experience those things almost every day as I write. I create that feeling for characters I made up and I often think of them, and that moment where I got all the feels as I wrote them. I fall in love as they do, with all the characters. I have so many book boyfriends, it’s not even funny.

There are people out there who will tell you romance books aren’t true literature (ugh… don’t get me started on these people). They’ll call it ‘fluff’, I’ve even had a few fabulously ridiculous reviewers say exactly that about my own book (mind you, they bought AND read the ‘fluff’).

Did you know that falling in love does the same thing to our brains that cocaine or powerful narcotics do? It’s no wonder we at times become addicted to it. Love actually affects your brain and your body. It can leave you breathless or even broken in both real life and on the pages of a novel. Everyone is looking for love whether they want to admit it or not. It’s one of those things that we as human beings have to have. People fear it’s lost in long-term relationships and they search for it. People lose it, and they long for it. As a romance writer, I create that for readers and I don’t consider it any less important than any other genre out there. I make people feel good with romances and happily-ever-afters. If I can make just one person forget the pain in their life, and close my books with a smile, and possibly that overwhelming feeling of a new love, then I’ve done my job. I’m a hopeless romantic, with a sense of humor, so bringing that to readers is something I adore.

You don’t need Valentine’s Day to feel what romance writers create every day. You can read a romance book and do it proudly. Maybe it’s considered ‘fluff’ to some (although, they still read them… I’ll never understand complainers) but the feeling we create, is the same one people all over the world are hunting for on every single day of the year, including Valentine’s.

So, I hope you’ll fall in love with a hero or heroine in a book this Valentine’s Day. But watch out, once you fall in love with a romance book, you might just be addicted… (Love is, after all, similar to a narcotic.)

Tell me in the comments below, who is your favorite book boyfriend?