Samantha Beardon's Blog, page 116

Assumptions in relationships. Snippet 2

The knowledge shared, about the each other , by partners is one of the most wonderful aspects of a close, long-term relationship. It is an issue , though, when we begin to think we know everything about our partner. We make assumptions about what they are thinking  and fail to see the progressive changes, as they, like us continually grow and develop. We then interact on a faulty premise which can harm the the long term viability of the relationship.

Relationship Snippets. 1

Every bit as important as attracting your ideal mate, is continually creating an environment for your partner to grow, develop and freely express themselves. Such an environment encourages ever-deepening intimacy and allows you both to discover joy, love, and satisfaction in all aspects of your lives together.

Finding the way to a more fulfilled Relationship. 1.

Knowing how to find something positive in a truly negative looking situation  is the way to find inner happiness.  Inner happiness enables more fulfilled relationships.

Most of us want of a deeply connected relationship that grows better and more intimate with time. We believe that our twin soul is out there somewhere if only we could find them. If our present relationships are not giving the connections we crave, we may continue looking, searching yearning for the perfect partner. For most of us, though, the perfect  relationship won’t suddenly appear as if by magic, we may already have it, but have just lost sight of it, or we are,maybe, still be searching. Lifelong compatibility takes work, once the first thrill and excitement burn away, we need to maintain and build on what we have.

The work we need to do  has to be mainly on ourselves and how we interact in our relationships. We can’t leave it to fate, or our significant others. There are changes we can make right now, that will allow a more fulfilled relationship experience into our lives.

If life was just about finding the ideal mate, going with  love at first sight, no further work to be done then divorces should be less and more people should be enjoying healthier, happier relationships.

Often though, that seemingly ideal match will begin to lose its shine over time, particularly if both people aren’t developing and nurturing qualities, that will continually breathe new life into their relationship. What we can never do, is directly change the other person, in order to have the sort of relationship we want, we have to work on the issues within our own sphere of influence.  There are things in our own characters we don’t admit to, or  that  we don’t want others to see, or issues…beliefs  buried in our subconscious, that we are unaware of. Any of these things can get between us and our relationships. They can stop us dealing effectively with the issues in many spheres of our lives. Uncovering and acknowledging self-defeating behaviour, or recognizing when we are being manipulative, blaming, or judgmental, can be difficult. Rather than disguising or burying  fears, we need to  make an effort to draw them out so we can explore and understand them. People who approach life in a spirit of discovery know that every experience and interaction can help them in their pursuit to see themselves more clearly and ultimately to feel happier.

ln order to get the best from life and relationships, we need the awareness to let go of unnecessary judgments and expectations about the world and what happens in it.  Trying to be open, not judgemental , can help us to be receptive to others opinions even if we don’t  agree with them . This doesn’t mean adopting an artificially positive attitude or denying what’s happening or what we are feeling. It means continually growing in our ability to accept what is, including what’s happening and what we are feeling. Being able to apply  this attitude to our relationships enables them to grow and be dynamic. If we can rein in having numerous expectations about what other people should or shouldn’t do, approach everyone with openness and receptivity  this can help you to see the situation from a different view point.

This one change in thinking and acting in our primary relationships can change a miserable experience into an amazing one.

With every situation we encounter ,we have choices in how we respond, we can respond from a place of resistance or from a place of acceptance. When we are in resistance mode we feel instant irritation, frustration or anger. We may speak out harshly, bitterly,try to futility stem the unstoppable tide.These attitudes will also profoundly effect how our experience unfolds.

Accepting what is happening right now , does not imply we are happy with a situation or that we condone it, or stop trying to improve it. It just means we don’t  waste our energies in a negative response, instead we utilise our resources in a positive manner.

Stuck in a traffic jam, irritated, angry blood pressure raised, won’t  change the fact, centre yourself use the time to relax  plan for the future, get some unexpected me time. Use the same techniques in relationship issues.

To enable openness you need to put aside your natural resistance, if you  feel resistance in yourself to anything; ideas, situations, events, or people: this question will help you break through that resistance and find ways to make the most of what you’re experiencing. What is there for me to learn here? What can I change? This can shift your focus from everything’s wrong, but it’s nothing to do with me to; to things are not right but what are the possibilities here.

All very well, you may say, I am not the one causing the issues, l am the victim of the situation. But you can only work on your feelings and your reactions and by doing so, you can change your behaviour from a negative to a positive response. Or learn how to deal with issues in a more productive way.

In order to get the best from life, people with well-developed responses know that even the most challenging circumstances, situations, or people have something of value to offer. This isn’t being naive or unrealistic. It’s the simple recognition that things won’t always go our way. Schedules change, cars and computers eventually need repair, and at some point we’re going to encounter long lines, rudeness, or rush-hour traffic. These people know that their experience of these events is directly linked to how they approach them. We need to be one of those people.

Searching for potentially positive aspects or outcomes in the midst of a difficult situation doesn’t deny the seriousness of the circumstances or any pain or grief you and others might be experiencing. On the contrary—focusing on the positive may well give you (and everyone involved) encouragement, confidence, and strength. Qualities like these are very beneficial in the face of challenging circumstances. Remember to look for the positive aspects in each situation you encounter.

When someone expresses an opinion that’s different from yours, ask yourself. What is there for me to learn, here? This will greatly reduce the need to justify your position or defend yourself in some way. Instead, you’re likely to find yourself authentically connecting with this person and genuinely interested in understanding their perspective. Whenever you’re resisting whether it is what is going on right now, whether it’s boredom  impatience or frustration. If you can find a positive,instead of focussing on the negative it can help you let go of unnecessary expectations about  how the world has to work.

When you become more open in your ability to gain positives from life then you are more open to a fulfilling relationship experience.

Relationships

Knowing how to find something positive in a truly negative looking situations  is the way to find inner happiness.  Inner happiness enables more fulfilled relationships.

Feelings

At the drop of a pin

The urges might win 

Race down my spine 

Feelings almost realigned 

Feel tingles, in my clef

Breathless, I am left 

Uttering your name 

Emotions untamed 

Grabbing your heart 

Entwining mine from the start

Submerged in the glow

Allowing the flow 

Between you and me 

What effect will it be

Music, cued begin

Head first into sin.

Text Snippets Word Crozzle. Early Conversation.

Jackson : Live in Italy at the moment. Did UK Belgium, NZ and Aus on my way here. Curse of the traveller.

Christine : Well so much world to see.

Jackson : Exactly.

Christine : However never managed NZ or Aus…yet anyway!Would love to visit Australia have a friend there. Did you just travel or work and travel?

Jackson : Worked inNZ and Aus.

Christine: Nice way to get a feel for places.

Jackson: Totally.

Christine: Hah just made a tactical error! Bum…playing and watching tv…

Christine: Thought you would use that space and slaughter me… phew! What are you interested in outside Crozzle?

Jackson: Sport sport sport sport… Oh and sport.

Christine: Laughing….you like sport….woooo…..l know very littlee about sport….but always interested to share in anothers passions……

Jackson : Oh sex too…..:)

Christine:1 am learning about golf at mo….a whole new vocabulary!! Lol

Jackson : It’s another passion :)

Christine: That would be sex or golf?

Jackson :  Not a golf fan….. Hate the culture. Love the sex culture though ;)

Christine :1 am just learning about the game…theoretically….never going to play…. What’s a sex culture?

Jackson : Just joking!

Christine: Please don’t  say s and m I spent the weekend having discussions about the story of o!

Jackson: No I just kidding. So you’re not into S&M? :)

Christine : Its ok…sex is high on most mens priorities..

Jackson: I’m just kidding. I know women don’t want to get tortured by horny men.

Christine : Personally no…I see sex as the giving and recieving of pleasure…and pleasure not pain!!

If S and M turns one on…its fine…consenting adults do what ever makes them happy….

Jackson: So pleasure is your thing.

Christine : Er yes….what else is it about.,…both to get and give.

Jackson : And how do you like to get?

Christine :Pleasure?Well usual sort of ways….foreplay…sex play …afterplay…maybe some fantasy….

Jackson : You married?

Christine :Yes..

Jackson : Always well behaved?

Christine: Define well behaved. 

Fantasy play….or is it passee?

What fantasy to play today

Does dominance hold its sway

Do rules and punishment, fit the bill

Or is that passee over the hill

Should I be the porno star

Draped Semi naked on a car

Does flaunting the body ,give the thrill

Or is it passee over the hill

The laundry maid in dress and cap

Cleaning, bending ,showing that gap

Will that blow job ,make u chill

Or is it passee over the hill

Will girls together hit the spot

Would you find it ,kind of hot

Could you rise and join the mill

Or is it passee over the hill

Shall we  sit and watch some porn

Then replicate it, till the morn

Would it  help increase our skill

Or is it passee over the hill

Should I be myself today

Just engage in normal play

Would you find it sweet and still

Or is it passee over the hill.

I want to give you a sexy day

Have you aroused in every way

Does fantasy play fit the bill

Or is it passee over the hill

It’s about our pleasure yours and mine

So nothings passee if inclined

Text Snippets Word Crozzle. Pop star name.

Eve: On the radio they are suggesting, choose your pop star name, by the colour of your trousers plus the last thing you ate…mine is turquoise toast…what is yours?

Rick: Black rigatoni.

Eve : Thats a pretty good name..sounds kind of sexy!!! IMHO

Rick : Noire rigatoni, now I sound like an Italian gigolo.

Eve: Gigging…yep.

Solo……Sharing by Eve

Solo….Sharing

Dipping into my world of pleasure

Seeing pictures, making stories to treasure

Sharing moments with your stimuli

Makes me feel good,makes me fly

Sweet swirling melody of life

Ridding me of stress and strife

Solo colours are picked, then mixed

How they will translate it’s in the fix

Stroking the colours sensually through

Leaving streaks of erotic hues

Shuddering dimensions waves of light

Affecting my vision affecting my sight

My bag full of pleasure is shared in part

Creating the landscape for vicarious art

Some thoughts on cyber sex

Sex is a two way process, recieve but also give

Cyber is but fantasy, but sometimes helps folk live

If a friend is feeling horny, why not help if it feels right

Dont play and get involved if its going to cause a fright

There are people, it seems fine to share with, but try to keep it tame

Others are just dangerous will take  advantage, it’s not a game

You have to go on instinct but also think it through

Cyber has its dangers that could cause you to rue

Oxytocin is lurking, to cause emotions to run high

Fall in love at your peril, how much is a lie

Sex is a two way process, receive but also give