Stephen Burckhardt's Blog: My Blog Ramblings, page 79

Time to Write Again . . .

Taking the rest of the day off from writing yesterday was definitely the right thing to do. I am still grieving the loss of my friends, praying for another, and hoping P.R. gets to dome home today. My thoughts are with the families who are dealing with loss and worry but I have gotten past my initial shock of it all and am deal with the emotions now. I'm at a point in the companion short, Margret's Redemption, where she needs to explain her depth of loss after losing her husband and now having to give up her children. I need to channel the things I am feeling right now into my writing. I believe it will not only make it more authentic but emotionally deeper than I would have written otherwise. As much as life can suck some days, it can be a great coach and motivator and writing can be great therapy. 

This Week Has Been Rough!

It's crazy were life can take you some days. I was so happy that I was able to get some good writing done. the companion short has been much more emotional than I was expecting. But that is not what has been so rough about this week.Earlier this week I learned a friend of mine had passed away. We met because we were geeks about the same sci-fi show, Lexx. We ended up at the same convention in Halifax, Nova Scotia many years ago. I knew she has not been doing well recently but I had not been expecting her to pass away. That same day I learned about another friend I had made through social media. was getting a full lung transplant. Thank God, she came through the surgery all right and is now working through her recovery. Today a very dear friend of mine lost her husband. I was not close with him but had met him a few times. He was a kind person who I have never heard anyone say a bad word against. He too had been battling health issues for years. We actually ended up going to the same physical rehab center for a time. He was a fighter and he fought hard for many years. the only blessing I can think of in his passing is he doesn't have to fight everyday of his life anymore.  I know how tiring that can be, it drains you, body, mind, and soul!And of course, P.R. was off in another part of the country working. I was expecting P.R. to return tonight but I got a text that the flight home was just cancelled. P.R. still might get home very late tonight but for now we wait to find out what they decide to do at the airport. I'm crossing my fingers there is another flight tonight. There is always hope.Speaking of hope, I do hope you all will forgive me if I do not finish the companion short tonight. It's going very well and turning out better than I had imagined. I do not feel in the right mindset to write tonight but I will get back to it full force tomorrow. I want it finished and online for you all to read. But for tonight, I need a break.Kiss your loved ones, and as always, thanks for following my work!

Emotionally Draining . . .

I managed to get six pages into the companion short, Margret's Redemption. It was crazy how emotionally draining it was to write. Trying to imagine how you would feel when you just gave up everything you really cared about in the world and then having to face the day after. I think it's going to be a few days before I finish this and I will take a day or two to decompress before I just into writing anything else. I think once you get a chance to read it, you will completely understand where I am emotionally right now.  As for now, I'm off to teach a few kids about the English language, then take Shaggy for a short walk, after which, I will jump back into writing the short and see if I can get it finished tonight. Keep your fingers crossed!

Busy Little Bee

I'm not sure if I feel more like a busy little bee, diligently toiling away, or the white rabbit in Alice in Wonderland, "The hurrier I go, the behinder I get."  Either way, I'm keeping my head down and trudging onward! I hope, HOPE, to have most of the companion short, Margret's Redemption, written tonight. I have never been good at judging how long it will take me to write something. Sometimes it takes on a life of it's own and expands to places I hadn't considered before. Sometimes that is fantastic and sometimes it's a real drag because I'm trying to stick to a timetable. My solution has been to quit giving myself time tables.So, I'm off the work on Margret's Redemption. I'm not sure if I will start working on Into the West: Sharon Springs right after that or wait and write the other companion short and then write Into the West: Sharon Springs. I'll have to wait and see how I feel later. It will depend on where my thoughts take me. But for now, I write!

Getting Back in the Swing of things

Today I have been going through all the different websites I use to produce my books: CreateSpace, Kindle Direct Publishing, and Nook Press. I'm making sure everything is up to date and working correctly. I have to say, I'm very disappointed in the results I have gotten from Nook Press. Besides not selling a single physical book on their site, their customer service department has been less than helpful. I have contacted them before about problems I have had with their publishing software and have received little to no help. I had wanted to have my physical books available on the Barnes and Noble website, in part, because I worked for the company for 13 and a half years. I feel a sort of nostalgia for the company. I have a lot of memories from working there for so long, some bad but most were good, a few were even great. However, I think it's time to forego the nostalgia and look at what will help me achieve my present goals; Nook Press does not seem to be able to help in this regard. Another reason I wanted to use Nook Press is they offer hard cover versions of physical books. Something I haven't been able to find anywhere else. I wanted, if nothing else, to have hardcover versions for myself. I wanted to make sure I would have good copies of my own books to keep for , well, for as long as I am on this earth. But I'm thinking this is something I should just let go of for now and just focus on getting some attention for my work. Maybe when I get ready to publish the complete serial in one volume I can revisit the idea of a hardcover version. So, for now I think I'm going to withdraw my work from from the physical print section of Nook Press and just stick with the eBooks. As I was checking all the websites today I was surprised to find out I have actually been selling more eBooks on Nook than on Kindle the last few months. Who knew?It's sad to part with the physical books on Nook Press but who knows, maybe one day I will be back.  

It's Going Slowly, But It's Going!

Yesterday was filled with good and bad news. The bad news was the painter decided to come a day early. I ended up only getting three hours sleep (I'm a total night owl) before I had to get up and let him in at 8:30 when he was scheduled to come; he didn't show up until 9:30. The good news is he got everything done in one day and will not be back. The bad news is my current general practitioner who I saw on Monday, is a very nice lady but is really only good if you have a cold of flu and need to been seen today. The good news is I found a new doctor and she even does acupuncture! I have always wanted to try that for headaches. I see her next Tuesday. The bad news is I didn't get as much accomplished on my writing as I was hoping. The good news is I had a good class with my student and I did get a lot of work done to get things started on my books again.Today has been a mix of good and bad as well. This morning I didn't get to do any writing because I was busy testing to get certified to teach the summer TOEFL classes with the online school for which I'm currently working. I am not likely to get a lot of student over the summer if I'm not certified to teach these test prep classes, so until I can make enough money from my book sales to pay my student loan payments, I have to keep teaching as much as possible.But the good news is I had another good class with my student today and now I'm all set to spend the rest of the day working on my book series. My plan is to first reread part one and two to get back into the stories mindset. Then I am going to write the short stories for Margret MacBride and another for one of the other characters. It might be Sonya or it might be about one of the other children who were adopted off the train.  These shorts will be uploaded in theMembers Only section of this website. You can access this in The Saloon drop down box. Membership to the Members Only page is free. All you have to do is register. There will be free short stories there periodically, special contests, and many other special offers that will only ever be available to members. Do not worry about being bombarded with loads of emails or notices from me, I'm too busy (or lazy, depends on the day) for that to ever happen. At the most, you might get three emails in a month, that is the limit I can send for free with my website plan so it's never going to go past that. So now, I'm going to go post this blog all over my social media, then get back to reading Into the West: The Orphan Train(click the title to buy a copy for yourself.) After that, I will write the short story about Margret and get that posted in the Members Only page as soon as possible. Ciao for now! 

I've Said It Before, I Hate Murphy!

It's sad how correct Murphy's Law is. I had such great plans for today. So far, all of them have fallen apart. I only have two classes scheduled to teach this week so I naively thought I would have loads of time to devote to my writing, starting today. Wrong!I had planned ahead for this week of work, which should have told me from the start I would be doomed. I ran loads of errand and did all the grocery shopping this last weekend so I could stay sequestered in the house all week long and do nothing but work on my books and teach a few classes. The beginning of the end started innocently enough with a simple request from P.R. Could I please go the post office today and send a registered letter for P.R.? Of course I said, yes. I decided, since I had to go out anyway, I would stop by my doctors office to deliver a few forms I needed her to fill out for me and run a few more errands. I had it all planned to be finished by noon today. Yeah, right!I had walked halfway to the doctors office when I realized I didn't have my paperwork with me I needed her to fill out. I decided to go ahead and go there and discuss it with her and would email her copies of it later. However, when I got to her office it was packed. She doesn't take appointments, it's all on a first come first served basis so I decided to come back for her afternoon hours. I told them I would be back and left to run the errands. I had also left my phone at home so I had no idea what time it was. I ran the errands and  heard the church bells ringing as I made my way home. It was already noon. I get in and try to cool down and there is a knock at the door, it is the landlord. He informed me that the painters will finally be showing up to paint the window frames in our apartment. Great! They will be here all day Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. I'm hoping they can finish up quick and get out! Now, I'm going to head back out to the doctors office and try this again. I have to return something I bought this morning because it is just too big for what I wanted to use it for,  As God is my witness, I will be able to write something today!  I have been waiting too long for this day to lose it completely. Wish me luck!

Fourth of July, Mac & Cheese, and Final Exams

 Yesterday was a busy day for me. I got up and spent my morning going through practice tests, over and over again. I found an app for the class I was taking (there seems to an app for just about everything anymore) and had been furiously reviewing all 310 questions that could possibly be on my test. For this class, there is a bank of 310 questions out of which they randomly pull 33 questions. You only need to answer 17 questions right to pass. I'm sure you all are thinking, wow, that is an easy pass, and you'd be right. However, I'm one of those OCD, I want everything in my world to be perfect, kind of people. So, I studied my ass off in hopes of achieving a perfect score. The morning of my test, I obsessively took the practice tests again and again. I was getting a perfect score most of the time but occasionally I would miss one or two answers, which is still well above the requirements to pass my class but that just wasn't good enough. There were several options in this app. You could quiz yourself on regular random tests, retake just the questions you have missed at least once, or more than once. You could quiz by question category, questions you got right, and even just quiz on all 310 questions. I did them all. By the time I left for class, I got my overall average score up to 99%. Who wouldn't be thrilled with that score? Apparently, me.  I felt disappointed, I had hoped for better. I got to class early and decided to run though the practice tests a few more times before the teacher came in to give us the test. While everyone else sat and chatted, I practiced again and again and finally got my overall score to an average of 100%. I was feeling pretty satisfied with myself. That didn't last long. The teacher came in and ran through the usual testing information and checked everyone's IDs. After we all filled out the forms it was time to open our test booklets and begin. I felt so ready for this!I opened my test booklet and read the first question and . . . I had no idea what the answer was. I didn't even remember having ever read this question. I felt like someone punched me in the gut. My chance at a perfect score seemed impossible from question one.   Reading that first question and realizing I had no idea what the right answer was just took the wind right out of my sails but I pushed on. I skipped question one and went to two. This one I knew, no problem. Three, I knew this one too. I began to pick up speed as I ticked off answer after answer with a renewed confidence. I got to the end and went back to question one. I read the question again, slowly. I focused on the key words and something flickered. I thought I remembered something the teacher had said and I scanned the answers again for anything that came close to what I was remembering. One word seemed to catch in my memories and I marked my last answer. I felt tension release that I didn't realize I was holding. Now, there had been one other question in the middle of the test where I had gone back on forth between two answers, but I m pretty sure I came to the correct conclusion on that one. So, as it stands, I feel confident I passed my test and am finally finished with my classes. I can relax and get back to what I miss most right now, writing!It will be a few weeks before I get my results back and know my final fate. What will it be? It will fall between having achieved 100%, missing one question for 97%, or at the worst, missing two for 94%, I won't lie, if it's anything other than 100% I will be disappointed but life will go on.Shaggy will be thrilled I will be home with him more. We can go on walks and work on more training for him. We were working on "play dead" but he needs a little bit more practice on that one. He hasn't figured out that being dead means not waging your tail. He will get it eventually, I have faith in him.Being finished with school right now is the most glorious feeling. I face a future filled with days where I am writing again, spending more time with P.R. and Shaggy, and giving homework instead of doing it! What could be better?

Things are Looking Promising!

Yesterday, I took a practice test in class and got 87% this time. I'm not celebrating yet but it's looking like I should be able to pass this test okay. You cannot imagine how much stress this has released and how excited I'm finally letting myself get about the idea of getting back to writing my serial again.Don't get me wrong, I love learning. I never want to stop learning. If I could go to college for the rest of my life and write full-time, and have quality time with P.R., I'd jump all over that! But, alas, I am not one of those master multitaskers anymore. I used to be but that was many years ago. This class I am currently taking, is incredibly fascinating. I took American history in junior high, high school, and college and I've learned things in this class I had never heard before. This current instructor is someone I could listen to for hours, which is a good thing since each class is four hours long and, I'll admit, I'm constantly amused by the fact that he looks like a clone of Vin Diesel.I'm one of those people who has a very difficult time with focusing when the lecture goes past and hour but this guy can really hold my attention, which is fascinating in itself. Usually, I start zoning out about 45 minutes in and after a hour, I'm totally gone into my own world in my head. However, with this class I'm present from start to finish and only have a few minutes of losing focus. That says a lot about the class topic and the instructor who is delivering it.So, now I'm going to go study a bit more before my class. We'll see how I do on today's practice test. I'm not too worried if I do not score as high on this one today. The material I covered last night was a lot more in depth than what I covered yesterday. However I just keep telling myself that I only need to score 52% to pass this test and so far every test I have take has been 70% or higher. I plan to study everyday from now until the test so things can only get better. I want to try to make myself take a week off from everything after this test and decompress a little before I just back into writing full speed. However, I also know myself and the chances of me making myself do that are about 50-50. I have several books I have bought that I have been dying to read. I may see how many I can get through in a week. I also need to reread my first two books to get the whole story line back in my head. But I know at the very least I'll probably write up the free short stories I had been promising for the members only section in the Saloon on my webpage. If you want to read those, it's free to join. Just sign up for the mailing list and you are in. You get first notice about all the freebies and publication dates. Don't worry about getting loads of mail from me. Right now I think It's been about one email about every three months and my goal is just to be consistent with one email a month.  So sign up, get free stuff, and I promise not to overload you with emails! 

Only One More Week to Go!

The end is so near I can almost taste it! Just one more week of classes and on the fourth of July I will take my final test. If I pass it, I am done with all of my course work and I can get back to writing by the second week of July. I am so happy and nervous at the same time. First off, I have no idea how long it will take to get the results of my test. The last one took a month. If I pass this test, everything goes back to normal. I will no longer be a student. I will get to just focus on teaching my ESL classes and writing!  I cannot imagine anything better. Well, if I made enough money writing and could just do that, that would be better, but that is the only thing that comes to mind. That is my goal I'm working towards. One day!But for now I need to get back to studying for my test. I have taken a few practice tests and I keep making about 75% on the test, which is passing by a safe margin. I only need to make 52% to pass so I should be good to go but I would much rather spend the next seven days studying and being overly prepared than to get cocky and end up tanking the test and pushing all of my plans for writing back even more than I have had to the last two years. So, please, stick with me a little while longer. If you've gone along with me to this point you might as well see how it all turns out, right? I have some plans to do many things to thank my loyal followers for sticking with me through this whole mishegoss. Details will be coming soon but I'm thinking contests for autographed books, more free short stories, and few more possiblities.I will have to wait a little while longer for the audio versions of the books. Right now our audio studio is a bit too noisy to record. Our neighbors are doing renovations on the building that is on the other side of the wall of our sound studio. There is no way we can get a clean recording right now. I have no idea how much longer the construction is going to go on but if it's still going full force when I am through with my class, I will go next door and ask them if they can give me a timeline because Dianne and I need to get back to work on the recordings. If you happen to think of it on the fourth of July, think a good thought for me that I pass this test and can get back to doing what I love most, writing these stories for you!  Thank you for sticking with me. You have no idea how much I appreciate it!