Ivan Brandon's Blog, page 45
August 29, 2011
twitter recap 2011-08-29
local folks who can't get the MMA fight due to the storm: this one dude "accidentally" humped the face of another dude. #luckyguess #
whoever wrote that commercial decrying tropicana for importing juice from brazil has clearly never tried juice in brazil. #
now THAT's rain. #
alright, i dunno if the storm's passed us, but all we got was rain and even that's stopped. worst of it was supposed to be an hour ago, so.. #
…back to work. #
looks like downtown got some flooding, here's water street http://t.co/o0EnfC5 (via @JulieShapiro) #
hey @weatherchannel: there are no 100 story bldgs in downtown. you might remember we had 2, but they're gone now. #
even though the shark in puerto rico pic is fake, cubans should see it not as disappointment, but inspiration. #
sorry @jimlee, not really the time to go outside around here, but everyone else: it is READ A COMIC IN PUBLIC DAY! #
also congrats to @samhumphries on his marriage to kim kardashian this weekend. #
weird side effect of the hurricane: my land line, rather than a ringtone, seems to be transmitting (this is true) the sounds of sports radio #
FL's mandated drug tests for welfare recipients yields a whopping 2% positive result http://t.co/9mgu75V #
i don't think i could pull off red skinny jeans and a snake as an outfit, but i'd be right at home with an ice cream cone and a bodyguard #
why is lady gaga's music always the least entertaining part of the performance? #
"30 Seconds to Mars are my favorite Lonely Island characters."-@PAPPADEMAS #
cancel that… all 3 are younger. one by like 20 years. #
this commercial would have been much better and shorter if they'd paused briefly and then joined together to murder the hamsters. #
these footloose commercials fill me with nostalgia for the first time i didn't go see footloose #
"Katy Perry looks like Trixie should be helping her kick laudanum."-@PAPPADEMAS #
my tivo has forcibly abandoned the VMAs in favor of breaking bad and curb your enthusiasm. #
i feel like that whole cloris leachman sequence was like the ring video and we're all going to die tomorrow. #VMAs #
seriously what the hell was that? i think cloris leachman is going backstage to kill herself and some children. #
l'il wayne is headed backstage to fight cloris leachman. #
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whoever wrote that commercial decrying tropicana for importing juice from brazil has clearly never tried juice in brazil. #
now THAT's rain. #
alright, i dunno if the storm's passed us, but all we got was rain and even that's stopped. worst of it was supposed to be an hour ago, so.. #
…back to work. #
looks like downtown got some flooding, here's water street http://t.co/o0EnfC5 (via @JulieShapiro) #
hey @weatherchannel: there are no 100 story bldgs in downtown. you might remember we had 2, but they're gone now. #
even though the shark in puerto rico pic is fake, cubans should see it not as disappointment, but inspiration. #
sorry @jimlee, not really the time to go outside around here, but everyone else: it is READ A COMIC IN PUBLIC DAY! #
also congrats to @samhumphries on his marriage to kim kardashian this weekend. #
weird side effect of the hurricane: my land line, rather than a ringtone, seems to be transmitting (this is true) the sounds of sports radio #
FL's mandated drug tests for welfare recipients yields a whopping 2% positive result http://t.co/9mgu75V #
i don't think i could pull off red skinny jeans and a snake as an outfit, but i'd be right at home with an ice cream cone and a bodyguard #
why is lady gaga's music always the least entertaining part of the performance? #
"30 Seconds to Mars are my favorite Lonely Island characters."-@PAPPADEMAS #
cancel that… all 3 are younger. one by like 20 years. #
this commercial would have been much better and shorter if they'd paused briefly and then joined together to murder the hamsters. #
these footloose commercials fill me with nostalgia for the first time i didn't go see footloose #
"Katy Perry looks like Trixie should be helping her kick laudanum."-@PAPPADEMAS #
my tivo has forcibly abandoned the VMAs in favor of breaking bad and curb your enthusiasm. #
i feel like that whole cloris leachman sequence was like the ring video and we're all going to die tomorrow. #VMAs #
seriously what the hell was that? i think cloris leachman is going backstage to kill herself and some children. #
l'il wayne is headed backstage to fight cloris leachman. #
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August 28, 2011
twitter recap 2011-08-28
the rain's started. don't be a hero, NY. #
HA! in VA on the street, a truck backs up to wave at the camera. @weatherchannel guy: "lots of stupid people like these." #
live @weatherchannel = hilarious. reporter angrily decries NC bystanders out in the hurricane as they wave at the camera completely nude. #
"The Ultimate Hurricane Irene Dining Guide #
jesus. "Just read the city has no evacuation plan for Rikers Island– 12k inmates in the middle of the East River."-@PULPH0PE #
kristyn seems increasingly frustrated by how long it is taking to potentially drown or otherwise be destroyed. #
"Hey, is it supposed to rain tonight?"-@MKupperman #
seriously if i don't at least lose a limb tonight this is gonna be really anticlimactic. #
storm update: kristyn has begun signing milli vanilli #
this storm is so boring i found myself getting excited at tornado warnings. #
you'd think it'd be easier to find a picture taken by one of those mars robots of its moons, right? #
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HA! in VA on the street, a truck backs up to wave at the camera. @weatherchannel guy: "lots of stupid people like these." #
live @weatherchannel = hilarious. reporter angrily decries NC bystanders out in the hurricane as they wave at the camera completely nude. #
"The Ultimate Hurricane Irene Dining Guide #
jesus. "Just read the city has no evacuation plan for Rikers Island– 12k inmates in the middle of the East River."-@PULPH0PE #
kristyn seems increasingly frustrated by how long it is taking to potentially drown or otherwise be destroyed. #
"Hey, is it supposed to rain tonight?"-@MKupperman #
seriously if i don't at least lose a limb tonight this is gonna be really anticlimactic. #
storm update: kristyn has begun signing milli vanilli #
this storm is so boring i found myself getting excited at tornado warnings. #
you'd think it'd be easier to find a picture taken by one of those mars robots of its moons, right? #
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August 27, 2011
twitter recap 2011-08-27
to hug the mountain. to embrace that mountain. #
"penciled page < 4 hours. #SHWEW quot;-@shawncrystal (dear @urbanbarbarian i don't think he means 4 hrs owned his page) #
i don't have a mets joke for the lenny dykstra situation. i feel like 10 year old me would be disappointed. #
i'm starting to think i need to clean out this local bodega for emergency supplies. #
christ, the area of the hudson river most likely to be flooded is the area that my house lives on. #
so far we've got a mandatory evacuation a mile to the east and a voluntary evacuation a mile south. #gonnaneedabiggerboat #
was asked about current weather: skies are clear + sun is shining above the NYC metro area. the empire state bldg is glimmering at me. #
"that boy is a china shop. i got no business anywhere near a china shop." #
a weird and awesome and unexpected teamup: paul smith + kelsey shannon batman piece http://t.co/hKwa0FF (via @whoisrico) #
"Within days of each other, @RepRonPaul voted against federal aid for Katrina damage and requested federal aid for Rita damage."-@dcurtisj #
follow friday with saturday #
read your confucius-esque tweets out loud: do you sound like an idiot? #success #
seems super unlikely this storm doesn't hit us. i'm far enough above the river, hopefully. bought some groceries. dunno what else i can do. #
the answer to the problem is clearly to drink it away. i'll let you know how it goes. #
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"penciled page < 4 hours. #SHWEW quot;-@shawncrystal (dear @urbanbarbarian i don't think he means 4 hrs owned his page) #
i don't have a mets joke for the lenny dykstra situation. i feel like 10 year old me would be disappointed. #
i'm starting to think i need to clean out this local bodega for emergency supplies. #
christ, the area of the hudson river most likely to be flooded is the area that my house lives on. #
so far we've got a mandatory evacuation a mile to the east and a voluntary evacuation a mile south. #gonnaneedabiggerboat #
was asked about current weather: skies are clear + sun is shining above the NYC metro area. the empire state bldg is glimmering at me. #
"that boy is a china shop. i got no business anywhere near a china shop." #
a weird and awesome and unexpected teamup: paul smith + kelsey shannon batman piece http://t.co/hKwa0FF (via @whoisrico) #
"Within days of each other, @RepRonPaul voted against federal aid for Katrina damage and requested federal aid for Rita damage."-@dcurtisj #
follow friday with saturday #
read your confucius-esque tweets out loud: do you sound like an idiot? #success #
seems super unlikely this storm doesn't hit us. i'm far enough above the river, hopefully. bought some groceries. dunno what else i can do. #
the answer to the problem is clearly to drink it away. i'll let you know how it goes. #
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August 26, 2011
twitter recap 2011-08-26
put my coffee in the freezer to cool it off. when i went back in, there were drops of coffee frozen on the cieling of the freezer. #
if your faux insults are negated by a smily face, shouldn't your compliments be likewise negated the same way? #
today= the day to be creeped out by the way guys casually behave with women. like putting their hand around a stranger's waist for a picture #
or complimenting a professional peer's looks before (or often instead of) mentioning her skill #
god bless @JoshuaDysart for introducing me to http://t.co/t6qhx9i #
potential silver lining to steve jobs' resignation: maybe planned to coincide w/new iphone release to give their stock a rebound? #
i can't tell if these recent comic-related threadless tees are licensed somehow or like- covered by parody or some legal loophole? #
i can't afford any of this, but a couple of these @UrbanDaddy_NYC photos are pretty great- clint, cash, etc… http://t.co/GRJsrMm #
DEAR WORLD: can we agree to stop w/ footage of planes crashing into bldngs on commercials, etc? except live, that should be an opt-in view. #
super tempted by @Empellon tasting menu #
"Battleship film spoiler: D,7. Miss. #hilariousbattleshipmoviejokes quot;-@andymacdeez #
sometimes being a team player is the worst thing you can do. i never seem to learn that lesson. #
WTC1 is now the tallest building in lower manhattan http://t.co/GLWRnbD #slowlybutsurely #
THE TRIUMPHANT RETURN OF BEAVIS AND BUTTHEAD: first up: the jersey shore http://t.co/z42Ww1p #
leon's arrival in NY: the carseat in larry's car, "the roommate's driving me nuts", etc… best part of an already fantastic season. #curb #
none of the internet will admit it watches the jersey shore anymore. i am so alone. #
winner http://t.co/s2bjzc0 #
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if your faux insults are negated by a smily face, shouldn't your compliments be likewise negated the same way? #
today= the day to be creeped out by the way guys casually behave with women. like putting their hand around a stranger's waist for a picture #
or complimenting a professional peer's looks before (or often instead of) mentioning her skill #
god bless @JoshuaDysart for introducing me to http://t.co/t6qhx9i #
potential silver lining to steve jobs' resignation: maybe planned to coincide w/new iphone release to give their stock a rebound? #
i can't tell if these recent comic-related threadless tees are licensed somehow or like- covered by parody or some legal loophole? #
i can't afford any of this, but a couple of these @UrbanDaddy_NYC photos are pretty great- clint, cash, etc… http://t.co/GRJsrMm #
DEAR WORLD: can we agree to stop w/ footage of planes crashing into bldngs on commercials, etc? except live, that should be an opt-in view. #
super tempted by @Empellon tasting menu #
"Battleship film spoiler: D,7. Miss. #hilariousbattleshipmoviejokes quot;-@andymacdeez #
sometimes being a team player is the worst thing you can do. i never seem to learn that lesson. #
WTC1 is now the tallest building in lower manhattan http://t.co/GLWRnbD #slowlybutsurely #
THE TRIUMPHANT RETURN OF BEAVIS AND BUTTHEAD: first up: the jersey shore http://t.co/z42Ww1p #
leon's arrival in NY: the carseat in larry's car, "the roommate's driving me nuts", etc… best part of an already fantastic season. #curb #
none of the internet will admit it watches the jersey shore anymore. i am so alone. #
winner http://t.co/s2bjzc0 #
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August 25, 2011
twitter recap 2011-08-25
upon arrival in baltimore, went straight to this meal, while @urbanbarbarian panicked over CONAN's box office http://t.co/1gEJ8rs #
finding a kitten is a lot harder than it at first appears. #
render unto bieber what is bieber's #
a casino is like a hell where a giant record player is forever stuck on the first 2 seconds of 'where the streets have no name'. #
s'posedly sprint'll get the new iphone. if it's not CDMA, i may well just be headed back to sprint.(i know i'm the only one to like sprint) #
i swear to god @kristynferretti's seconds away from fistpumping in this car. please god let the power go out at z100 FM. #
"looking forward to twitter after twitter concerning Steve Jobs and Apple…"-@urbanbarbarian (make sure you cc dan on all of them) #
"Now if we could only get people to tweet pictures of meals they think Jobs would enjoy to @urbanbarbarian…"-@fordgilmore (YES!) #
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finding a kitten is a lot harder than it at first appears. #
render unto bieber what is bieber's #
a casino is like a hell where a giant record player is forever stuck on the first 2 seconds of 'where the streets have no name'. #
s'posedly sprint'll get the new iphone. if it's not CDMA, i may well just be headed back to sprint.(i know i'm the only one to like sprint) #
i swear to god @kristynferretti's seconds away from fistpumping in this car. please god let the power go out at z100 FM. #
"looking forward to twitter after twitter concerning Steve Jobs and Apple…"-@urbanbarbarian (make sure you cc dan on all of them) #
"Now if we could only get people to tweet pictures of meals they think Jobs would enjoy to @urbanbarbarian…"-@fordgilmore (YES!) #
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August 24, 2011
twitter recap 2011-08-24
when @jasonaaron bit into his chap's pitt beef special, he said he could hear @urbanbarbarian's nose break http://t.co/bUABk9T #
oh, i didn't notice the "recent images" feature. does this link work for everyone? http://t.co/T64jlh3 #
seriously? i leave town for 2 days and there's an earthquake? everybody ok? #
on the boardwalk in AC when the quake hit, didn't even feel it, but there's a guy next to us comparing it (unfavorably) to bombing in iraq? #
when the earthquake happened, i was eating this on the boardwalk, @urbanbarbarian was nowhere near me http://t.co/emgiWCA #
CA people take their lumps for their panic over traffic, vaguely chilly weather… they're right to throw some our way over this earthquake. #
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oh, i didn't notice the "recent images" feature. does this link work for everyone? http://t.co/T64jlh3 #
seriously? i leave town for 2 days and there's an earthquake? everybody ok? #
on the boardwalk in AC when the quake hit, didn't even feel it, but there's a guy next to us comparing it (unfavorably) to bombing in iraq? #
when the earthquake happened, i was eating this on the boardwalk, @urbanbarbarian was nowhere near me http://t.co/emgiWCA #
CA people take their lumps for their panic over traffic, vaguely chilly weather… they're right to throw some our way over this earthquake. #
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August 23, 2011
twitter recap 2011-08-23
emergency allergy meds at 3am. throat's covered in throat poop. #
disclaimer: i did not actually write 'bonertrain' into any scripts #
people who are way better than @urbanbarbarian: these window washers that rapell down the building http://t.co/268FC4T #
this toast goes out to them and definitely not @urbanbarbarian http://t.co/sNiitzp #
i had a friend i wanted to track down, who'd turned his life around after living in a black cloud. today i find out he died. RIP pat. #
maybe we accidentally ended up in atlantic city. there is a naked circus here. #
http://t.co/6SidaPQ @grantmorrison in @rollingstone #
this doesn't look like boardwalk empire AT ALL. except for all the stabbing. #
tony baloney's cheesesteak olé. nicknamed 'the @urbanbarbarian'. http://t.co/fq2gs9d #
i'm too lazy and disorganized to form real habits or addictions, but i can see the danger in roulette. #
more than anything, putting a voucher into a machine that spits out more cash than you put in… that is a scary feeling. #
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disclaimer: i did not actually write 'bonertrain' into any scripts #
people who are way better than @urbanbarbarian: these window washers that rapell down the building http://t.co/268FC4T #
this toast goes out to them and definitely not @urbanbarbarian http://t.co/sNiitzp #
i had a friend i wanted to track down, who'd turned his life around after living in a black cloud. today i find out he died. RIP pat. #
maybe we accidentally ended up in atlantic city. there is a naked circus here. #
http://t.co/6SidaPQ @grantmorrison in @rollingstone #
this doesn't look like boardwalk empire AT ALL. except for all the stabbing. #
tony baloney's cheesesteak olé. nicknamed 'the @urbanbarbarian'. http://t.co/fq2gs9d #
i'm too lazy and disorganized to form real habits or addictions, but i can see the danger in roulette. #
more than anything, putting a voucher into a machine that spits out more cash than you put in… that is a scary feeling. #
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August 22, 2011
twitter recap 2011-08-22
best barcon night in forever w/ @jasonaaron @cliffchiang @jasonlatour @tracired @COLORnMATT & of course, bday girl @kristynferretti #
also you have not lived until you own a well-earned mental picture of @jasonaaron eating a miniature roasted bird. #
so if i look pekid and deathly today, know that i very much enjoyed the road to my demise. #
BALTIMORE: i've sold out of the cross bronx & nyc mech, but i have put aside some viking season 1 collections for you. #
"Egil would collect cat pictures from the internet were he born 1000 years later."-@NicKlein #
what's more apt than selling my last viking hardcover to a man named bjorn? #stillhaveacouplesoftcovers #
wild boars never lose it
wild boars never chose this way
wild boars never close your eyes #
best baltimore meal i've ever had: tonight @WKrestaurant. their amazing fish pepper chicken beats even pok pok in portland. #
"i'm just gonna blow it all on melon liqueur anyway." #
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also you have not lived until you own a well-earned mental picture of @jasonaaron eating a miniature roasted bird. #
so if i look pekid and deathly today, know that i very much enjoyed the road to my demise. #
BALTIMORE: i've sold out of the cross bronx & nyc mech, but i have put aside some viking season 1 collections for you. #
"Egil would collect cat pictures from the internet were he born 1000 years later."-@NicKlein #
what's more apt than selling my last viking hardcover to a man named bjorn? #stillhaveacouplesoftcovers #
wild boars never lose it
wild boars never chose this way
wild boars never close your eyes #
best baltimore meal i've ever had: tonight @WKrestaurant. their amazing fish pepper chicken beats even pok pok in portland. #
"i'm just gonna blow it all on melon liqueur anyway." #
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August 21, 2011
twitter recap 2011-08-21
people in hotels: that coffee machine is your friend #
baltimore! i am at your comicon, signing your books at booth 1908 #
this convention isn't even officially open yet and i'm already almost sol out of viking hardcovers. also i am at a bagel deficit. #
if you see @kristynferretti today, wish her a happy birthday #
questions i've been asked today: do you know where stan lee is, are you nick spencer. both times i answered yes & then mugged the asker. #
HA- nice to meet you. "@Breakoutcbe Dudes! Just met @IvanBrandon! Seriously awesome guy!" #
john carter of SARS #
"don't let tomorrow be another today." – @COLORnMATT #
a vortex of flavor #
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baltimore! i am at your comicon, signing your books at booth 1908 #
this convention isn't even officially open yet and i'm already almost sol out of viking hardcovers. also i am at a bagel deficit. #
if you see @kristynferretti today, wish her a happy birthday #
questions i've been asked today: do you know where stan lee is, are you nick spencer. both times i answered yes & then mugged the asker. #
HA- nice to meet you. "@Breakoutcbe Dudes! Just met @IvanBrandon! Seriously awesome guy!" #
john carter of SARS #
"don't let tomorrow be another today." – @COLORnMATT #
a vortex of flavor #
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August 20, 2011
twitter recap 2011-08-20
remember that time the 80s was 30 years ago #
2 hearts that beat as 1 #
this guy in the leopard vest really badly wants to break into his industrial dance #
dear traffic: you are impeding my ability to get to chap's pitt beef. #baltimore #
researching the theory that singing quicksand at the top of our lungs will improve our travel time. #baltimore #
hey @waltertown, is my memory faulty or ages ago, at the academy (RIP) in nyc did you guys perform a version of baphomet w/ lyrics? #
hello, baltimore #
i ordered these goat cheese donuts for @urbanbarbarian at salt on e. pratt st in baltimore http://t.co/ZK5Xnvo #
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2 hearts that beat as 1 #
this guy in the leopard vest really badly wants to break into his industrial dance #
dear traffic: you are impeding my ability to get to chap's pitt beef. #baltimore #
researching the theory that singing quicksand at the top of our lungs will improve our travel time. #baltimore #
hey @waltertown, is my memory faulty or ages ago, at the academy (RIP) in nyc did you guys perform a version of baphomet w/ lyrics? #
hello, baltimore #
i ordered these goat cheese donuts for @urbanbarbarian at salt on e. pratt st in baltimore http://t.co/ZK5Xnvo #
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