Danielle Steel's Blog, page 62

Round Two: New Year's Eve

There are two days of the year that I find particularly challenging, and have had some serious battles with: Valentine's Day and New Year's Eve. We all know and are told how we're supposed to feel on those two days: madly in love on Valentine's Day, surrounded by bouquets of flowers, with enough chocolates to keep you with a mouthful of chocolate for a year, or if you're a single woman, maybe an engagement ring. And married or single, the man you love is supposed to come through on Valentine's Day and prove that he adores you. Yeah, well, good luck to you!!! Most of the men I know, married or not, either forget the day, or avoid it like the plague. And as one of my men friends says, guys just don't care about chocolates and flowers. (I won't tell you what he said they really do care about, you can figure that one out for yourself, but it was neither chocolates, nor flowers, no surprise there). So let's face it, the chances of Valentine's Day being fabulous are not fantastic. I got one marriage proposal on Valentine's Day which resulted in 18 years of marriage and 8 kids, so I figure I used up all my tickets on that one, and Valentine's Day hasn't been too impressive ever since. I can live with it.

And then there's New Year's Eve, which is another one of those loaded days. You're supposed to look fabulous, spend it with someone you love, and wind up kissing them at midnight, with a glass of champagne in your hand, while someone plays "Old Lang Syne". Reality? All the years I was married, I spent it in a flannel nightie with warm socks, didn't care what we did, and we were sound asleep long before midnight, and I was perfectly happy and with the person I wanted to be with. I didn't need parties, a kiss at midnight (I could have kisses anytime), or a band. Although I think most people think they are supposed to be having FUN that night, no matter what. And single, it's a whole other story. You HAVE to be out dancing and kissing at midnight and drinking champagne. Hmmmm……for some, that may not be quite as easy as it sounds. And just like Christmas and Valentine's Day, I have had a wide variety of experiences on that one: since being single, some very elegant New Year's Eve dinners in black tie, dancing with good friends. The year my caterer didn't show up for that event at the last minute, and we went to fast food restaurants to get dinner, and my friends were all dressed up in evening gowns, eating a Big Mac, pizza, and KFC and curly fries. We decided we liked it so much, we did that for several years. And it was fun. Then, I got tired of having a New Year's Eve date I didn't care about, or none, and decided to play poker on New Year's Eve instead (which I love), still in black tie. But no matter what you do, and how you slice it, that midnight hour happens, people start counting….ten…nine…eight….two….and the next thing you know everyone is kissing, and you're staring at your feet, feeling like a loser and wishing they'd get on with it. Erghk, I hate New Year's Eve. (And last year I lost $20.00 at poker too, adding insult to injury. AND got a stomach ache from the fast food). I don't know what the answer is. In recent years I've never had the guts to just say to hell with it, and go to bed, and not do anything at all. I was afraid that would be too depressing.  But New Year's Eve rarely lives up to anyone's expectations, unless you drink yourself blind or are enjoying a brand new romance. So I'll be playing poker this year, WITH fast food, NOT in black tie this time, and let's just hope I win $20.00 this year to make it a success. One fan wrote in and said that the answer is to spend it with good friends, and I think that's true, but it's not an easy evening to pull off, particularly if you're not part of a couple, and all you're going to get at midnight is a refill from the waiter, another Big Mac, and hopefully a decent poker hand. I just don't like New Year's Eve, and every year I promise myself that I'll do something different next year—I thought of going to Paris this year, or even Vegas with a friend—-or maybe I'll just go to bed and not try at all. I think making New Year's Eve fun is challenging for a lot of people. It is not my best night of the year, and too easy to get mournful, thinking it should be different than it is. Maybe we just need to have a sense of humor about it, and not take it so seriously. (And most of those people kissing at midnight probably won't be speaking to each other by next year. Ha!!! It's not even a holiday about chocolate, so what good is that?). I don't think it's an age thing either, since even young people I know complain that it's often a disappointing night. Maybe we just need to lower our expectations, and enjoy whatever happens, and do something we enjoy, like poker in my case, and be with friends we like. (I haven't had the guts to spend it totally alone, although some years I wished I had; I had such a lousy time). I think the answer is to keep it light, and not put so many expectations on it for that one night.

As for New Year's resolutions, I never make them. I hate breaking promises, and disappointing myself or anyone else. So I don't promise to give up smoking, gain or lose ten pounds, start a new exercise program, or swear I'll walk the dog a mile 3 times a day, or stop all of my annoying habits (surely too many to give up!!)—or learn to use the computer properly. Whatever I do all year, I do. Whatever I decide to give up, I will (or won't). But I refuse to make New Year's resolutions that I will probably break in 3 weeks, or less.

So have a very happy New Year's Eve, whatever you decide to do——and just like Christmas, remember that it's only one night and you can get through it whatever you do, whether you spend it with good friends, or cozily in bed watching TV on your own. Happy New Year, and I hope that the coming year will be the best year ever for you, with lots of good times, good friends, and good health!!!

Love, Danielle

The Big One: Round One

Whatever your religious or non-religious convictions, the holidays hit most of us pretty hard. I know very few people who can thread their way through these loaded days, go on with their golf game, reading the newspaper, or cleaning their oven, without being at least somewhat impacted by these important days. (And if you can get by without being shaken up by them, more power to you!!!). It's not just about the hype of what we're supposed to expect, or how great it's going to be (maybe), or the present you desperately want (and you get a poinsettia instead, or a fruitcake—I HATE fruitcake!! It's not chocolate. If I'm going to pile on calories, let it be on something chocolate, not dried fruit). Our expectations start building in our childhoods, and even as adults, there's a little kid in us that wants it to be perfect, for Santa to know just what we want and show up with it, and all the people we love to be nice to us. Sometimes all of that happens, and sometimes it just doesn't, and when it doesn't, we get sad. And important holidays seem to magnify everything we feel: Either REALLY happy, or really sad.

I've had all kinds of Christmases, both good and bad, starting with lavish ones as a child, in the German traditions of my father (he loved Christmas!!!), but I had no mother to share them with, since my mother left when I was 6, which was a gaping hole in my life then, as a young child. I had happy Christmases at the beginning of my marriage, and sad ones at the end. And a few completely alone when, divorced, I had a young daughter who went to visit her father in France every other year, and I just sat home and cried, alone. I have had fairy tale Christmases, surrounded by my many children when they were young, when everything went the way it was supposed to and most people dream of….and then the shattering Christmas, 3 months after I lost my son, when we all sat paralyzed with grief. To try and lighten the mood, I decided to give an ice skating party for my friends and their kids. It didn't fill the void, but reminded my family that life goes on, and there is still laughter and love and fun in our lives, surrounding ourselves with good friends. I've had romantic Christmases and some really depressing ones, since I've been single….the man I loved passionately (and later married) who decided that being in Antarctica was more fun than being with me, so he spent the holiday with penguins, and I wound up alone that year, an all-time low. Even in a good, happy, wholesome life with family and a solid marriage, Christmas isn't perfect every year, and I've spent enough hard ones to be sensitive to the fact that the holidays are really tough for some people, particularly if they've encountered disappointment or loss, or are alone. There are a lot of lonely people in the world, and contrary to common belief, having a family isn't always a guarantee that the holiday will be great. Some of us go home to parents we never got along with in the first place, and all the same problems surface again, or siblings we have nothing in common with, or we have to send children to a divorced spouse, and sometimes we are just so stressed out that we wind up fighting with people we love, in spite of good intentions. Truly, despite my many children, I know how hard holidays can be, and they underline the fact that we're alone, or what's not going right in our lives.

There are several ways to view how to handle difficult holidays. Forget them: not always so easy to do, with Jingle Bells playing in every elevator and supermarket, and a Santa with his beard askew on every corner. (And shouting obscenities at street corner Santas, and taking our frustrations out on him is not considered 'cool').  You can spend the holidays with good friends and people you really like to be with, which is a warm way to spend it. Or remember that it is one day, and not a year long. You can get through one tough day, you've done it before. And gratitude for what you do have: even if it's not perfect, there must be ONE thing you can be grateful for. One particularly awful year many years ago, the only thing I could think of to be grateful for was a new pair of shoes I had bought myself and loved (that was a particularly low year). And also, giving up your time to people less fortunate and in great need. I've spent many nights in my years of street outreach, with the homeless, and let me tell you, seeing the misery they're in will wake you up to just how lucky you are to even come home to a warm bed. I don't think fabulous holidays just happen in many lives, I think sometimes we have to work at keeping our spirits up, and making the holiday good for others. Usually, when I stop worrying about how happy I'll be, and just concentrate on making others happy, I wind up happier myself. (Some of my Christmas dreams and wishes have been slow in coming, or Santa lost my list along the way, but I have so many things/people to be grateful for that in the end I feel blessed anyway). Maybe the answer to better holidays is to try to avoid the things that stress you most, if possible, and depress you, and make sure you do some of the things that are really meaningful to you and make you happy, whatever that is. I have spent Christmases in poverty (in my early writing years) and in wealth, and although it's a great feeling to be able to buy somebody a great gift you know they want, the year that I bought items and furniture in junk stores and refinished them for people I loved was one of my best years. I worked so hard on gifts I hoped they'd love. (As for what I get, it's often weird. People view me as having 'so much' or 'everything' that it intimidates them, so they give me nothing, or a candle—-or a fruit cake!!! (I accept chocolate all year round), what they don't realize is how touched I am by small thoughtful gifts, however small. And there is always one gift every year, which touches my heart, and shows that someone cares and knows me well. Maybe that's all that really matters, showing the people you care about that you're thinking about them and care about them. Even a phone call to a beloved friend can show them that at the right time.) Anyway, try and plan a little so that the hard parts of Christmas don't hit you quite so hard. And I'll try to do the same!!! And if your family drives you crazy, try to shield yourself as best you can, so they don't ruin the holiday for you, and remember that you only have to put up with them for a day or two. I never went home to my parents for the holidays after I was married, but if I had, it would have been miserable for me. (And at some point, you have to give up torturing yourself, even for a good cause, and do what's right and good for you. You have a right to spend the holidays with who you want to be with, not people who are unkind to you, if that's the case, and make you feel worse).  Try to shelve the old bad memories, and just focus on today. You can get through today. One day at a time, as they say.

I hope that your holidays will be fantastic. And for those of you who have the kind of Christmas we see on a Christmas card, you don't need my help, support, or advice. But for those of you for whom the holidays are challenging, I will keep you in my thoughts. Most people don't have such an easy time with the holidays, even though we think they do. Life is not a greeting card; sometimes it's all too real!!!

Your mission (and mine) is to find something we love about these holidays, something to be grateful for, something fun to do (even if it's watching your favorite TV show or old movie, with a bowl of popcorn you made yourself!!). Be good to yourself, no matter what Santa does, or how annoying your family might be, or how alone you feel. We are all in this together. May your holidays be blessed in ways you never expected, cherish the tiny moments, and the joys. I wish you the happiest of holidays…and I hope Santa comes through for you!!!

With much love, Danielle

The Best is Yet to Come

Hi Everyone,

Like everyone else, I get down in the dumps sometimes, with life's up and downs (and sometimes more downs than ups). And we all have our ways of dealing with it, and how we pull ourselves out of a slump….talk to a friend, indulge ourselves for a while (sometimes I go shopping when I'm feeling sorry for myself…buying shoes can cheer me up). Other times, it takes more effort to rev our engines up again. When a slew of things knock us down, it can take a while to get back up.  And although it's not for everyone, I've mentioned before that I'm religious. That's a very personal choice, and it works for me, and keeps me afloat, on a daily basis, and particularly in bad times. I don't sell it to anyone, it just works for me. I've been married to an atheist, and a non-practicing Catholic, and I've never expected anyone (not even my children) to follow what I do. It is an entirely personal choice. So I'm not selling it to you either.

A few years ago, while staying in a hotel in New York, I flipped through the channels of the TV and came across a young minister doing a TV show. He was from Texas, but it wasn't religion of the bible-thumping variety. But just a very positive, practical view of life, which really touched me—and would have made sense even without religion. It was a way of looking at things, of focusing on the positive, rather than the negative, and being grateful for what's right in our lives, rather than dwelling on what's wrong. I loved what he said. His name was Joel Osteen. And not long after, again while travelling, and walking through an airport, I saw a book he'd written and bought it. The book became a #1 bestseller, and I loved it. It was that same warm, practical, positive philosophy I'd seen and heard when I saw him on TV.

I just finished his third book today, and I loved this one too. He reminds one that even if your life seems to be in the pits right now—-any minute it could turn around. Your health could improve, you could get a better job, your marriage might get better, or you may finally find the man or woman you've been looking for. What he gives in his books is Hope, something I think is so essential in life. And it's easy to lose hope sometimes, we've all done it. I have. Maybe you have too. When things just get so bad, you think you can't stand it anymore. The death of someone you love, the end of a marriage, a bad divorce, money troubles, a child you are desperately worried about, or a serious health problem, or even a slew of smaller problems that add up, or a failed romance, or you've just had too many disappointments in your life. Or sometimes just an overlay of gray on your life. We forget that things could, might, and will get better again, that things will shift and improve. I forget that anyway, when things are looking bleak, and they have at times, I think it's 'all over', and it will be that way forever.  In his books, Joel Osteen gently turns you around to see a different view, a different side of things, a better perspective. His books really work for me. They pull me right out of the dumps and get me back on my feet and headed in the right direction. Even without the religious aspect or inspiration, his positive philosophy really does make sense, and gives me hope, and the tools and inspiration to look at things more positively again.

When I finished his book today, I had the same feeling of hope I had after reading his other books….and I found myself thinking….Yeah, I really CAN do it….yes, it will be okay….and that the knotty problem of the moment could and will improve. He reminds you that your dreams can come true, that the 'curses' people put on us (family beliefs, or bad things people have said to us) have no power, and can't hold us back.  I love thinking that my dreams will come true.

Something he said toward the end of this book rang a chord of memory for me, like a giant reminder. It was like having a window thrown open and seeing bright sunlight, instead of a gray drizzly day. He said "The best is yet to come". And you know what? I believed him. He did it again. I don't care how old you are, or how scared you are, or how sad you are, or how bad it's been, it CAN get better and there is always hope. So I am sharing that with you, and wanted to remind you of it. I needed the reminder too. I felt as though I'd been lifted up when I read it, and was almost saying to myself "Yes…..that's right!!!…." So now I'm telling you, the best is yet to come. I believe it, and I hope you do too. It helps hearing it, and remembering it, even in tough times…..the best is yet to come!!!

Love, Danielle

Something New and Different (and Very Fun!!)

A friend of mine recently embarked on a new hobby, and invited me to come and have a look. He has taken to flying model airplanes, which sounded fun and intriguing, and definitely new to me. (I'd never seen it done before). I've heard of places where men gather to fly them, but had never seen it, so with a certain amount of curiosity, I decided to tag along on a quiet weekend. And Wow!!! What a lot of fun!!!

I'm not 'technical' by nature, and I suspect that most/many women aren't. The group I observed was all men, not a woman among them, but what struck me first was the camaraderie among them. Rather than closed and suspicious of new arrivals, although they didn't know either of us, they were friendly and helpful, lent my friend tools he needed, and gave him friendly advice, and were very welcoming to me as well. The group was interesting and varied. Americans, some people speaking Spanish, someone from Brazil. And most of them had several planes, and in some cases, they had a van full of many models, battery chargers, a gazillion wires, and enough tools to build a 747. And a LOT of tape to make repairs with—-crashes are frequent even among the experts.  The planes are flown by remote control, and are of varied styles and sizes. Helicopters, a 'droid', a lot of 'fighter' planes, underwing, overwing, bi planes, large and small planes, and even some jet planes. Most of them are about two feet across, in some cases three feet. There were even some artificial 'birds' made out of fabric, which flapped their wings. The planes seem to go about a thousand feet in the air, and sometimes swoop down low to the ground, and then sweep up again into the sky. Even knowing nothing about it, it was exciting to watch them, and fascinating to watch the delicacy and skill with which they control the planes, even my friend, who was relatively new to it, but impressively adept at it. (Definitely a boy thing!!! Although there are women pilots in the sky, and very good ones. But among this group of model plane experts, there was noticeably not a single woman on the two days that I went).

It was fascinating and a huge amount of fun watching. My friend pointed out that the hours kids spend on video games gives them a head start on learning how to maneuver the planes. But the group I saw flying was of varied age, and not particularly young. I'd say they ranged from their thirties to their sixties, they weren't kids, they were serious men. And many of them set up tables to tend to their injured planes or charge their batteries. And all seemed to be extremely dedicated and very knowledgeable. They were meeting in a large field where there was plenty of room for everyone to fly their planes. And in the spirit of camaraderie I mentioned, everyone took pleasure in the others' victories with a skilled maneuver, and sympathized with a rough landing, or worse. There was a total atmosphere of friendliness and enjoyment, no sense of competition or envy of someone else's plane, everyone was just having a great time, enjoying chatting with others with the same passion, and sharing information. It was exciting and fun to watch. And it was a pleasure to be part of it, even as an observer. The hours flew by as I watched the planes take off and land, and the intricate maneuvers in between. It really was terrific!!!

It actually surprised me that there were no women doing it, or even watching it. It looks like so much fun. I was the only woman there, even as an observer. I didn't have the feeling that I'd be good at it, and wasn't tempted to try. But I had a ton of fun being part of the relaxed, friendly atmosphere, and seeing people have so much fun. And my friend turns out to be a natural pilot, with a lot of skill, and did very well. He held his own among the experts, and did a great job flying his plane. People always tease about men and their 'toys', and that they stay boys forever. But after spending two wonderful afternoons, sitting in the sun, and watching the model planes, I'd say they have the right idea. What a great way to have fun, out in the air, meeting people, and testing one's skill. I have a feeling that it's even harder than it looks, a lot harder than it looks!!! You need a good eye and good hands, and have to make some fast saves to keep your plane from crashing. But even when they do, they repair the damage with tape and glue, and replace propellers, and in no time, the planes are back in the air again, battle scarred but still efficient.   I had a wonderful time, seeing something so new to me. It was great!!!!!

Love, Danielle

Minnie Mouse

Hi Everyone,

If you've read my blog before, you know that my family and I are dog lovers. We have a motley assortment of breeds, two of my daughters have teacup Chihuahuas (that's the smallest size), we've had a flock of miniature Dachshunds over the years (really wonderful dogs!!! But they are barky, and I have a hard time with dogs that bark a lot. I like sleepy breeds, so they don't drive me crazy while I write). One of my sons has always had Boston Bulldog Terriers, who have always been the sweetest natured dogs in our family, two of my other sons have had Jack Russells, one has a Black Lab (the only big dog in the group), another daughter has a Yorkshire Terrier (that looks like a little Teddy Bear), and my oldest daughter and I have miniature Brussels Griffons (who look like Ewoks). Brussels Griffs really work for me because they are a peaceful, sleepy breed, and they're happy to snore loudly in my office while I work. I had a Maltese once that didn't work out for me because she was turbo charged and jet propelled and l0 hours later on any given day, she was still happily chewing through the wires of my phone or destroying the room. We had terrible luck with a French Bulldog who killed one of our other dogs, which was awful. And we had an English Bulldog for a short time once, who was too aggressive with our older dogs and didn't work out either. I'm now into my second generation of Brussells Griffons, so I really do love them. I grew up with Pugs, whom I love too (but aren't as easy as the Brussels Griffs, and are generally bigger than the Griffs). So that gives you an idea of just how doggy we are!!! Very!!

And as you know, I also go back and forth between San Francisco, New York, and Paris. My dogs live in San Francisco, and unfortunately all of my Brussells Griffons are just over the weight limit for international flights, so if I took them with me, they'd have to travel in cargo, and not in the cabin, and I just won't do that to them. And for the past several months, I have really been missing having a dog with me in Paris. I started sneaking into pet shops, and looking longingly at the puppies there. I've been looking at the really tiny breeds that could travel with me easily in a travel bag, like Yorkies, and Chihuahuas and just haven't seen any I liked. I looked at some Dachshunds, but they looked like they might get too big too. And I also discovered that the popular dogs now are 'combination' what they call 'Designer Dogs', which used to be called 'Mutts', and have suddenly become 'chic'. Cockapoos, Lahsapoos, Puggles, and a whole bunch of ridiculous sounding names (and sometimes looks, although most are really cute) combining Pugs with Beagles, Cocker Spaniels and Poodles, Lahsas and Poodles, 'Morkies" which are Maltese and Yorkies. Some of them are really cute, but they're a bit of a mystery, since you don't know which breed will win out, and how big they will get. And Air France is strict about their 12 pound weight limit for dogs in the cabin. I even looked at a really unusual breed that I recently wrote about in a book: a Hairless Chinese Crested, which have to be one of the funniest looking dogs I've ever seen. Their body is completely hairless, and dappled with spots that look like polka, and on their head and tail they have a pouf of blonde hair that looks like a wig, and they look a bit like a slightly larger Chihuahua. They are really funny looking and very rare dogs.  I also looked at some smaller Japanese breeds, but they looked like they might get too big too.  So I've been secretly wanting a dog to travel with me, but I didn't want to just get a 'dog', I wanted to fall in love with a dog, and was convinced I'd know "The One" when I saw it. Kind of like romance. So my pet shop and breeder visits have been fruitless until now, and I figured it was kind of a silly idea anyway, since I have dogs in San Francisco, but I'm in Paris much or even most of the time now, and am really missing having a dog.

On my last trip to New York, I visited (again) a place where I have gotten many dogs over the years, for my kids, and for myself. Two of my most beloved Griffs are from there, as well as many of my kids' dogs. So I took a peek, and have dropped by there every month since this summer. And once again, nothing. Some cute Yorkies. A 'Morkie", a couple of very barky toy poodles, some really adorable Dachshunds who looked like they'd get too big, Pugs (which would get to be 20 pounds), a couple of beautiful King Charles Spaniels (also too big). And no one grabbed my heart. I was about to leave the pet store last week, when one of the salesmen took me aside and asked me to wait a minute. I know that they frequently keep special or very young dogs in the back. The salesman disappeared and returned a few minutes later, with what looked like a  white mouse, with a tiny face, big brown eyes, and giant 'Yoda" (from Star Wars) ears, and plopped her in my hands. I have very small hands (since I'm a small woman), and she filled the palm of my hands. She was/is a pure white long haired tea cup Chihuahua. I never saw myself as a Chihuahua person, but Bingo!!! I fell in love!!! She was the sweetest tiniest thing I have ever seen. Tiny, tiny, tiny. She is ten weeks old, and weighs 1.1 pounds, and is likely to weigh 3 pounds full grown. (No problem in the cabin on Air France!!). And I have never seen anything so cute!!! She has tiny little pink paws that she wrapped around my neck and snuggled. How could I resist??? I couldn't. She was too young and too small to take home with me, so I left her there, bought her on the spot, and she will come home in 2 weeks. It turns out that she won't be able to go back to France with me this time, as she needs more shots, a special chip, and the French are very strict. (And I will confess that I am having nightmares, worrying that she is so tiny that she'll get hurt. I imagine she'll spend a lot of time in my lap.) So I've been on a frenzy of buying pink blankets, a tiny pink collar and pink leash, and a cozy little pink bed for when she comes home.

We had fun naming her. I immediately thought of Angel, as she looked a bit like one, Snow White or Blanche Neige in French…..and we decided on Minnie Mouse, because she's so tiny and it suits her, and she looks like a mouse. Despite her tiny size, from my experience with my two daughters' Chihuahuas, they seem to be a pretty hardy breed. They're peppy and spunky as adults, good natured and sweet. And she certainly fits my requirement for a small dog to travel with. So here we are, with a new puppy…..Minnie Mouse!!!….and you really can't expect a woman with 9 children to be sensible about dogs. So I had to tell you about Minnie Mouse. She is tooooooo cute for words!!!

Love, Danielle

 

Uh Oh…….Here They Come Again!!!

Hi Everyone,

For the past several years, I've been spending Halloween in Europe, and finally this year, the inevitable happened….with one 'child'  (my youngest) a senior in college, four others in their early twenties, and the oldest three grown up and married…..NONE of my children dressed up for Halloween this year. I never thought that day would come, and just thinking about it, a bevy of their costumes come to mind….the Octopus in Little Mermaid…..the Little Mermaid herself….(the hooker in "Pretty Woman"…oops), witches, nuns, the year my oldest daughter dressed up as a pumpkin, with green dyed hair and an orange face, and then couldn't get the orange dye off her face for 2 weeks…her boyfriend dressing up as her dog, dropping plastic 'fleas' all over the house….vampires, fake blood, and finally, my own Grand Finale dressed as a Whoopi Cushion a few years ago. Definitely, some memorable moments. I'm actually really sad to see this era end. But there it is….no more Halloween costumes for us. It took a while, many, many years in fact. And for all those years, they started planning their Halloween costumes as soon as summer came to an end.

With the disappearance of Halloween as a major landmark in our lives, our early warning system for the impending holidays seems to have failed. Suddenly, it is mid-November, and with a gasp, I realize that it is nearly Thanksgiving. I've been busy working on new books, going back and forth to Paris, working on the songs (I write the lyrics) I've told you about, and suddenly, holey- moley, it is almost Thanksgiving. It will be a bittersweet year for us this year, our first Thanksgiving without my children's father, my now late ex-husband, with whom I stayed very close, and who came to all our family events and holidays. Six of our cousins will be joining us, and several friends, but we will surely feel my ex-husband John's absence acutely. Life….with all its joys and losses, and one feels them even more at holidays. But now, suddenly I have to get ready. The kids will be coming home, relatives arriving, friends joining us for the Thanksgiving meal. The house will be exploding at the seams with boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives, my many children. I hope it will be fun.

And right on the heels of Thanksgiving, everyone will be home yet again for Christmas. I love holidays, particularly Christmas, and an excuse for all of us to be together, but no question, holidays are always a mixed blessing for all of us. And in some cases, holidays are just damn hard, and some years for some of us, downright grim. So while I am looking forward to seeing my children during both holidays, and friends, I am also acutely aware of how hard the holidays can be: with the people we've lost, the disappointments we've had, the people we once loved no longer there, the family events we hope will be peaceful but are often an opportunity for stress in families. And whatever is wrong or absent in our lives is magnified by these supposed to be so wonderful days. And I remember only too well the years when I was totally alone and had no one to spend them with, the tears I shed on disappointing holidays when the people I loved just didn't come through. I think the holidays put a huge amount of stress on most people, and are seriously depressing for others. And even in happy, healthy, close knit families, people feel the strain and pressure of Christmas. It's an opportunity for some lovely times, but for some tough times too.

I hope that your holidays will be easy and warm, starting with Thanksgiving, and onward after that to the subsequent ones, Christmas, Chanukah, or whichever holidays. Sometimes it's a good idea to plan ahead and try to figure out what to do with those days, if there are no immediately obvious solutions. If you don't have family to spend it with, it's a good idea to round up friends, or figure out what to do so the day doesn't wind up seriously depressing. (New Year's Eve is one of those dates for me, I never know whether to spend it with friends, or just go to bed and forget it, and not even try this year. It's a dilemma I face every year, with no easy solutions).

So, here we are, the holidays are almost upon us. Here they come again!!! I'm not ready for them yet, although I've almost finished my Christmas shopping. When they roll around, I hope the holidays will be good to you this year. We all need some good cheer, some love, some hope, and some good times among family and friends. I hope that the holidays will be peaceful and easy for you, and that all your holiday dreams come true!

Love, Danielle

Awww……Come On!!!

As I've often mentioned, I love going to art fairs in Paris (or anywhere else for that matter. I went to the art fair to end all art fairs, the most illustrious one, in Basel, Switzerland last year. And have gone to fairs in London, New York, San Francisco, and LA. I thoroughly enjoy them all).  I went to three this past weekend, in Paris, one of which is very respected and highly regarded and I go every year and enjoy it. And the other two are smaller and lesser known. I enjoy the smaller art fairs a lot too. One of my passions is art, and since I still miss my art gallery, which I closed a few years ago, I love seeing what's happening in the art world. And I still curate one show a year for a wonderful gallery in San Francisco, who very generously has me curate a show for them every year. It keeps my hand in the art world.  There is an art fair in Paris in the spring that I particularly love, but the one I just went to is a great one too.

I really like contemporary art. I like abstract work and figurative, I love bright colors (I love red!!), and things with a touch of humor to them. I'm not good with very edgy art, or dark, depressing colors. I want art to make me feel good, and preferably happy!!! So I'm not very 'avant garde' in my tastes, and I am not a fan of ultra edgy art.  Buying a heap of sand as a conceptual installation always feels like the Emperor's New Clothes to me (the children's book where a tailor makes the Emperor an invisible suit, and he strolls down the street naked, while everyone pretends he's wearing clothes…..oops!!). I always figure that if I want a heap of sand in my house, I don't need to go conceptual, I can just haul it in off the beach. (And my kids used to do a fairly good job of that at our beach house). Similarly, I once went to an art exhibit with all white canvases with nothing else on them, blank in other words, and everyone was oohhh and ahhing about how "witty" the artist was, and how 'profound' his statement…..uhhh……excuse me, I just can't play that game. I love abstract art, but staring at a blank white canvas leaves me flat, and doesn't seem 'witty' to me. (Although I can conceive of the artist laughing at all the people talking about how 'witty' he is for showing a blank canvas) Okay, so I'm a drip. I want to see something a little more fun than that, and if I'm going to buy it, I want a lot more than a blank canvas.

So inevitably, my naughty kid side was activated at the art fair I went to this weekend, over three particularly challenging (for me) pieces of art. One looked like the contents of my bathroom cabinet, with bottles, medicines, and all the ordinary everyday stuff I jam in there. I know it must have been done by a famous artist, but it still looked like my bathroom cabinet at home (mine is possibly a little messier….but still….). And the price tag on that sample of everyday life was just under two million dollars. Oh. It gave new meaning to my Band-Aids and Tylenol. I went with a friend, and we muttered about that one, as we walked along, enjoying the art fair. It was a big fair, so we had a lot to see and enjoy. The other 'aw come on', was a bunch of fresh bananas sitting on a pedestal with a small color chart next to it, so you could see how yellow they were. Yes, okay. They were yellow. And looked exactly like the ones in my fruit bowl in the kitchen. At first I thought they were only made to look real, but nope, they were real (I touched). The price tag on that was the equivalent of $15,000, if I remember correctly—-or maybe $20,000?  Gulp. Now what happens when the bananas turn black next week, and go mushy, and you have to throw them away? Fifteen or twenty thousand out the window? Okay, I know its art, but please…….$15,000 for a bunch of fresh bananas that are not going to make it past next week? I'm sorry, I used to be an art dealer, but I still don't understand. I'm sure it was witty, and the thought profound, and the artist respected and well known, but bananas are bananas. (It gave serious new meaning to the contents of my refrigerator). And the last piece I saw that provoked the same reaction in me was a stack of garbage bags in boxes, in that same price range. I make that kind of art every night in my kitchen. It is indeed using what you have on hand to make art. And I saw lots and lots of other works of art that were fascinating, intriguing, and that I would even like to own. But works of art like the ones I just mentioned always seem to me like they are pushing us—-for me anyway, buying a bunch of bananas at an art fair, at those prices, even with a color chart, is more than a stretch!!!! That, to me, is a definite "Awwwww, come on!!!" I'm sure there must have been some deep meaning to those pieces that I missed, or maybe not. Maybe it's a sense of humor, or sensibility that I just don't have. In any case, I did not buy the bananas, the garbage bags, nor the medicine chest.

The other two art fairs were much smaller, but fun too. They were both in tents, with many stalls of interesting art, at more reasonable prices than at the bigger art fair. And I succumbed to a miniature pair of blue jeans, in royal blue, under a plexiglass cover. They were inspired by an artist named Yves Klein, who is famous for the pigment he uses, in a brilliant royal blue. He uses models of famous sculptures, like the Venus de Milo, does them in varying smaller sizes, and covers them in a powdery royal blue pigment. I have always loved the color, but his prices are way out of my budget in the several hundred thousand dollar range, and he is a very famous, very respected artist. He uses primarily famous classical statues as his models and base for the blue color. In this case, the artist used something modern, the jeans, and did them in that gorgeous royal blue color—-and it was in my budget—–way way less than the bananas and the garbage bags, which I already have at home anyway. So I'm happy with my new sculpture, and had a great time looking at a lot of art….and I even got a chuckle out of some very incongruous pieces of art. That's what art is all about, having fun with it, talking about it, and commenting on it…..and if you're feeling artistic, head for your kitchen and see what you find!!!  Maybe you too can create a work of art with a head of lettuce, a cauliflower, or some brussels sprouts…..awwww come on!!!!!

Love, Danielle

Paris in the Fall

Fall is definitely here, in Paris. Leaves are blowing around on the ground, it has been periodically very chilly, with the occasional warmer day in between. But Fall is definitely in the air. I love being here then…..and in the irresistible Paris spring……and in the snow in winter. What's not to love in Paris??? It's so incredibly beautiful. The buildings, the parks, the balmy weather in spring and fall, the gorgeous snow that always seems so romantic to me. I love it, it looks like post cards when it snows here. So I'm back in Paris, enjoying the fall, with a million things to do here. I went to three art fairs this weekend, have been working on my books and music. I went to the flea market on Sunday, which is overwhelming but intriguing, with stall after stall of either antiques, or yard sale junk that is fascinating to dig through. I was actually doing research for my next book and found just what I needed (after about 3 hours of wandering and digging). I've gone to my favorite auction house too, which I always love. I've had lunch and dinner with friends. And I brought Halloween costumes to a friend's children here, since Halloween is not a big event in France, and is only a recent acquisition in France, but still not a big deal here.  Mostly, I'm just enjoying being here, working, relaxing, seeing friends. It's more peaceful writing here than in San Francisco, and I dont push quite as hard.  In San Francisco, my work pace is intense.  Kids have a 2 week vacation from school here at this time of year, so a lot of people are away, which makes Paris more peaceful too. I'm having a really nice time, and working on new books for you!!!

Love, Danielle

Betrayal

Betrayal

In Stores: March 27, 2012

At thirty-nine, Tallie Jones is a Hollywood legend. Her work as a film director is her passion and the center of her life; one after another, her award-winning productions achieve the rare combination of critical and commercial success. With no interest in the perks of her profession or the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, Tallie maintains close and loving relationships with her college-age daughter and her aging father, and has a happy collaboration with Hunter Lloyd, her respected producing partner, confidant, and live-in lover. Rounding out the circle and making it all work is Brigitte Parker, Tallie's devoted personal assistant. Friends since film school, they are a study in contrasts, with Brigitte's polished glamour balancing Tallie's artless natural beauty, and her hard-driving, highly organized style a protective shield for Tallie's casual, down-to-earth approach.

As Tallie is in the midst of directing the most ambitious film she has yet undertaken, small disturbances begin to ripple through her well-ordered world. An outside audit reveals troubling discrepancies in the financial records maintained by Victor Carson, Tallie's longtime, trusted accountant. Mysterious receipts hint at activities of which she has no knowledge. Soon it becomes clear that someone close to Tallie has been steadily funneling away enormous amounts of her money. In the wake of an escalating series of shattering revelations, Tallie will find herself playing the most dangerous game of all—to trap a predator stalking her in plain sight.

In this riveting novel, Danielle Steel reveals the dark side of fame and fortune. At the same time, she brilliantly captures a woman's will to navigate a minefield of hurt and loss—toward a new beginning.

 

Music in the Studio

Hi, Everybody!!

Just a quick update on my song lyric writing activities. When I got to Paris this time, we worked in the studio for days, recording our songs for 'demos' (CD's that play our songs). We recorded 9 songs, mostly ballads, and we've written 11 more than that. It was a fascinating experience, and soooooo much fun for me. The technical aspects are very complicated and I'm learning a lot about music, recording, composing, and writing lyrics. I am thoroughly loving the experience, and I'm working with a wonderful team, of 3 composers, 7 musicians, and a young French singer, who is bi-lingual. So we are recording songs in English and French, and I've written the lyrics to each song in both languages, so we have options.

We've been working 12 and 14 hours in the studio. The musicians recorded their 'tracks' of the music before I got there. And my work is with the singer, to make sure that the lyrics are sung and recorded as I wrote them. The songs are in many ways similar to my poems, although more complicated to write, since you have to be aware of the beat and tempo of the music, and the lyrics have to fit!! It's not free form like writing poetry. Sometimes I write the lyrics first, and they compose the music to it, and sometimes I write lyrics to the music they've written. And often we work together in brainstorming sessions, where we come up with the songs together and try different things. By the time we get to the studio to record the songs, they are very polished, and we've worked hard on them. Often we don't even stop for meals while we work.

I'm often reminded of the atmosphere of camaraderie that I loved when I went to a co-ed French school as a kid. We just have a good time together, no one has an axe to grind, and we work hard and have fun. Everyone has been a good sport and easy going and incredibly dedicated. I hope that eventually you will hear the result of our work. Stay tuned for that. Many are love songs, and some tell a story. We even wrote one inspired by my late son Nick. I often wish that I could tell him what I'm doing since he was such a passionate musician and singer, and he wrote lyrics too. I think he'd be proud of what we're doing. And it's so exciting to be learning something new, and working as a team—which is very different from the solitary work of writing a book alone.

I recently finished a new book, and will be starting on another one soon. And between the two books, I'm working on the songs, so I'm keeping busy these days!!!! I'll keep you posted on all these activities!!!

Love, Danielle