Ikram Hawramani's Blog, page 46
April 9, 2019
She caught her divorced sister cheating with a married man
Asalam Alaikum. My sister is a divorced. I have sadly found out my sister has a haram relationship with a married man. The mans wife is both my sisters and I very good friend so I could not believe my sister would do this to her. I’m so sad. What should I do? Tell my parents, tell my friend or confront my sister (she doesn’t know I know)?
Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,
Sorry about your situation. It would be best to confront her privately without any threats of letting others know about it. Maybe this will make her agree to end the relationship. If she does not, then you can tell her that you will tell your parents and your friend who is being cheated on.
It is best to try to solve such matters as privately as possible, since this is best for everyone involved.
Even if your sister promises to break the relationship, there is of course still the fact of your friend being married to such a man. I cannot say what should be done about this, for example if children are involved then that would complicate matters. If there is a chance that the man may repent and go on with his life like normal then it might be best if your friend does not find out about his cheating. If you are unsure what to do in this regard, it may be best to leave it to God to decide what He wishes. But if you get a clear sense that it is your duty to tell your friend, then perhaps consult a knowledgeable person you trust who knows you and knows that family and maybe a solution would suggest itself.
Best wishes.
[Updated]
Is showering (ghusl) necessary after masturbation? (male and female)
Can you still pray after you masturbate? Or do you need to take a shower?
If the masturbation involves ejaculation (whether you are male or female), then performing ghusl becomes obligatory. You cannot pray until you perform ghusl.
But if there is no ejaculation, then a person can pray without performing ghusl.
Follow-up question: for the females (yes there are females who masturbate), does reaching climax or orgasm the same as ejaculating? Like, if one reaching climax, but no ejaculation, does she has to perform ghusl afterwards? Thank you.
Thank you for your question. According to the Qatari Fatwa Authority, orgasm itself does not necessitate ghusl if no manī is ejaculated by the man or woman. For more on a woman’s manī please see this previous answer.
There is, however, something called retrograde ejaculation, where the ejaculation takes place but does not come out immediately. For example if an hour or more later the person urinates and finds some ejaculate in their urine, then the ejaculation has taken place. In such a case, I believe that ghusl is necessary even though no ejaculation took place during the orgasm.
Source on ghusl not being necessary if a woman orgasms without ejaculation during masturbation:
Fatwa from the Qatari Fatwa Authority (Arabic PDF)
Is showering (ghusl) necessary after masturbation?
Can you still pray after you masturbate? Or do you need to take a shower?
If the masturbation involves ejaculation (whether you are male or female), then performing ghusl becomes obligatory. You cannot pray until you perform ghusl.
But if there is no ejaculation, then a person can pray without performing ghusl.
Finding meaning in life when the most precious thing is taken away from you
You know when the most precious thing is taken away from you, there is nothing that can replace it. I can't seem to find meaning in anything else and now everything seems bleak to me. How do I go about just living life? Nothing matters. I can't seem to find the importance of anything else.
Sorry about your situation. I have been in similar situations and I believe the best thing to do is to consider yourself on break from ordinary life. You are in an in-between state until God creates a new life for you. Focus on doing your duties, and constantly ask God for guidance, forgiveness and ease, and through Him seek a satisfactory solution. It may take months or years; your job is to struggle through it, stay patient, and leave it to Him to create a meaningful life for you anew. Nothing is impossible for God, so even if you see no way out, even if you see no alternative to what you have lost, trust Him, stay patient, and leave it to Him give your life a new meaning.
I also recommend that you seek medical help if you are severely depressed. The right drugs can make this period of life more bearable and productive, and once you no longer need them you can stop using them.
More personal questions for Ikram Hawramani
I received a number of new personal questions. I have added my answers to this previous answer, please see them there: Some personal questions for Ikram Hawramani
On the Impossibility of 1984: Hawramani’s Theological Law of Propaganda
According to the Wikipedia article, propaganda is:
information that is not objective and is used primarily to influence an audience and further an agenda, often by presenting facts selectively to encourage a particular synthesis or perception, or using loaded language to produce an emotional rather than a rational response to the information that is presented. Propaganda is often associated with material prepared by governments, but activist groups, companies, religious organizations and the media can also produce propaganda.
It is the dream of perhaps all governments to produce (a) a coherent, fictive vision of reality (past, present and future) and (b) to convince the populace of the truth of this fictive worldview.
George Orwell’s novel 1984 is an exploration of an imaginary world where propaganda has been taken to its logical conclusion. The government is able to create a reality and implant it in almost every citizen’s mind through a very powerful system of propaganda and control.
Reading 1984 is naturally a depressing experience since there appears to be no realistic reason why such a world cannot eventually come about. As the science of propaganda continues to improve, especially today that it can be enhanced with extremely capable artificial intelligence, governments will continue to be able to exert better control over the minds of citizens.
George Orwell (1903 – 1950)For an atheist who views the world as a closed system, there is no realistic reason to be optimistic about the future of propaganda. The propaganda system will continue to improve until it reaches a point of singularity where it becomes more complex than any human mind, and thus capable of exerting irresistible influence on human minds. A person can of course refer to chaos theory or quantum uncertainty to say that any system of propaganda can eventually break down due to the simple unpredictability of human thought. But this is just a possibility, and one can still fear the thought that a sufficiently intelligent AI will be able to find ways of handling chaos and uncertainty.
But for a theist, things are much more hopeful. By considering this universe a simulation-like thing (as I discuss in this essay), and by considering the soul an entity that resides outside of it, we are faced with a situation where the complexity of the human can never be overcome. The human soul resides outside the simulation and is independent of it, therefore the simulation can never overcome its complexity. It would be like trying to open a locked box with a key that is inside it.
As is common with all simulations, the infrastructure upon which the simulation runs is more complex than the simulation itself. A video game is a simulation, and the world inside is far, far less complex than the computer upon which the video game operates. The soul belongs to that higher-order world of complexity, therefore it is impossible for anything within our universe to reach its level of complexity. Therefore since (a) the soul is independent of the universe and (b) the soul belongs to a higher-order reality, it follows that (c) no system of information within the universe can match it or overpower it.
Thus Hawramani’s Theological Law of Propaganda is:
No system of propaganda can ever reach the complexity of a single human intellect, therefore humanity is eternally immune from complete control by propaganda.
To put it another way, the dystopian vision of 1984 is unrealistic and impossible. All governments’ efforts at mind-control of the populace are incredibly feeble compared to the object they are dealing with: humans. Humans, by the virtue of having extra-universal souls, are not objects but subjects–subjects that look into the universe from the outside.
Thus as a theist, I can justify complete optimism about humanity’s ability to overcome propaganda.
Of course, I have an even more important reason to be optimistic: God exists, He is in charge, and He will not let any tyrant entirely corrupt His earth:
And they defeated them by God’s leave, and David killed Goliath, and God gave him sovereignty and wisdom, and taught him as He willed. Were it not for God restraining the people, some by means of others, the earth would have gone to ruin. But God is gracious towards mankind.
The Quran, verse 2:251.
Is there a difference between wearing hijab and abaya or loose shirts and pants?
Is there any difference if one wears hijab and casual clothing (long sleeve loose shirt and loose pants) to the one who wears hijab and an abaya?
Different scholars will likely have different opinions on that. My view is that as long as the purpose of the hijab is achieved and the hair and body are covered (save for the face, hands and feet), then type of dress does not matter. The point is for a Muslim woman to dress in a way that prevents lecherous men from having anything erotically satisfying to look at, and this can be achieved through all kinds of costumes.
Is it haram to listen to music?
Please see this previous answer: Listening to Music is Permissible in Islam
On the “religion virus”
New interaction on Twitter:
