Ikram Hawramani's Blog, page 50

How do you face your fears?

How do you face your fears?

There are two aspects to dealing with fears. The first one is the medical aspect. Some people suffer from anxiety disorder which makes them much more fearful of things and situations than is normal. Such people will greatly benefit from medical help since there are many effective drugs that can strongly reduce anxiety and help such people lead a normal life.

The other aspect is the spiritual aspect. The closer you feel to God the easier it becomes to face your fears. By fully relying on God and keeping His remembrance alive in your heart constantly you will feel as if nothing can harm you unless God wants it, so you will feel much braver in facing your fears.

Please see this page for articles on feeling closer to God: Guides on Becoming a Better Muslim

How can I fix my relationship with my family?

How can I fix my relationship with my family? I have ruined them and I don't know what to do. Do you have any advice? I am in need of help!

Please see this new answer and inshaAllah you will find it helpful: Improving your relationship with your parents

Fixing people’s negative view of you due to your past deeds

Salam Brother, I hope you're doing well. I was reflecting the other day and I think I am on the right path now, but I had a past life that isn't the greatest. I noticed that people have not moved on from my past life even though I have. It's like I have changed completely but their perception of me is not the best. People tend to not forget the negative things when an individual does something wrong. What can I do to make things right?

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

Sorry about your situation. Fixing people’s view of you is going to be a slow process that will take years. If you reach out to them and try to show them that you are different now they may not believe your sincerity immediately.

The best way is therefore to try to be the best Muslim you can be, and to try to do nice things for people without coming off as too eager to please. InshaAllah they will slowly appreciate the differences in you and start to think better of you.

Improving your relationship with your parents

I don’t have a great relationship with my parents. How can I improve it?

I believe the best way is to achieve a high character and a selfless, generous and forgiving attitude. Dealing with people when having such a personality will naturally make them like you more. So work on yourself first and constantly ask for God’s help and guidance and inshaAllah your relationship with your parents will start to improve.

For more on becoming a better Muslim please see: Guides on Becoming a Better Muslim

Human and Social Development in Islam

Panoramic view of the Alhambra Complex in Garanda, Spain.

What exactly do we mean by human and social development?

This question will be answered differently if we were to ask a diverse set of people.

Even though most people may agree that human development entails having more “freedom”, “equality”, “justice”, and access to opportunities for “self-fulfillment”, “happiness”, and “flourishing”, different societies may interpret these values very differently depending on their worldview. This is because concepts of development and progress ultimately stem out of a society’s belief and value systems and are measured according to them. The worldview of a community or culture dictates how that society perceives reality and consciously or subconsciously shapes that society’s normative principles of ethics, morals, development, and progress.

Just like the right ideal can galvanize people towards progress, a wrong ideal can derail the efforts of humans and societies. The dominant secular (neoclassical economics-based) worldview has done just that through its myopic formulation of human development in terms of material wealth and by ignoring the role of spirituality or character development in defining human development. This narrow formulation of human development, accompanied by the rise of market-based capitalism and the estrangement of God from human life, has significantly damaged the human psyche and society, as well as the environment.

The Islamic worldview in contrast has principally spiritual end-goals of human development and defines life to be purposeful. The purpose of human life is clarified by God in the Quran to be “nothing except for the worship of God”1. A primary distinction between the Islamic and non-Islamic worldviews is that the former incorporates a belief in the impermanence of this worldly life (al-dunyā) and the existence of an eternal afterlife, al-ākhira. The Quran says in this regard, “And this worldly life is not but diversion and amusement. And indeed, the home of the Hereafter—that is the [eternal] life, if only they knew.”2. The real measure of human progress and actions thus is to be seen in the light of the Quranic verse, “And that to your Lord is the finality”3.

It is illuminating to see a Quranic negative example related to human development in order to understand what should not be mistaken as human development. The Quran narrates the story of Qārūn, an affluent contemporary of Prophet Moses ,

So Qārūn came out before his people in his adornment; those who desired the worldly life said, "Oh, would that we had like what was given to Qārūn; indeed, he is one of great fortune." But those who had been given knowledge said, "Woe to you! The reward of God is better for he who believes and does righteousness; And none are granted it except the patient."

 The Quran, verses 28:79–80.

God clearly establishes through these verses the true Islamic knowledge of development by defining the belief in God and righteous actions to be better and deserving of everlasting reward. Islamic development does not conflate needs with objectives and goals. While economic well-being is a need of all people, it is not the ultimate goal of human efforts. Islamic development is not about material accumulation or the freedom to consume. It entails the development of an ethical innate character (akhlāq) through the process of the purification of human souls (tazkiya), which is manifested externally through the correspondence of human actions with divine guidelines and internally through the rectification and purification of intrinsic human character traits.  

We can therefore begin to describe the ends (i.e., objectives) of the Islamic conception of development by describing seven interrelated overlapping concepts. In contrast to the secular worldview, human development entails freeing oneself of base desires and recognizing one’s servanthood before God (ʿubūdīya) and attaining a God-consciousness that can rein in selfish indulgences and actions that are harmful for oneself and society (taqwā). By attaining a high standard of ethical character (akhlāq) through the purification of human souls (tazkiya), human beings can deserve to be the vicegerents of God on earth through their attempts to perfect their servanthood before God (ʿubūdīya). 

Although new concepts such as sustainable development and human-development have recently been proposed, the true barrier in the Islamic worldview that can check human transgressions is God-consciousness (taqwā), which literally means guarding oneself against God’s displeasure. God describes in the Quran that the most noble person before God is the one with the most taqwā. By adorning oneself with these attributes, one will be able to scale the heights of excellence (iḥsān) and civilization (ʿumrān) and achieve true felicity, happiness, and welfare in this life and in the hereafter (saʿāda).

By subscribing to these notions of development, human beings can rise above the inhumane pursuit of selfish interests and create sound and harmonious societies while also earning the pleasure of God and escaping the illusion of those “whose effort is lost in worldly life, while they think that they are doing well in work.”4

To read more on the seven overlapping ends of Islamic development, read our paper:  “The Ends of Development in Islam: Seven Overlapping Concepts”, J. Qadir, A. Zaman, Journal of Islamic Banking and Finance, Volume 35, No 3, 2018. http://islamicbanking.asia/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/July-Sept-2018.pdf
[Longer version]: “The Islamic Worldview and Development Ideals”, J. Qadir, Journal of Islamic Banking and Finance, Volume 35, Number 1, Jan–Mar 2018, pp 33–44. https://tinyurl.com/islamicdevelopment

Islam and magic

Salamalaikum, I really appreciate you taking the time to answer the questions posed to you with so much in depth research (my earlier ones included). May Allah reward you. To my questions, what are the signs/indications of magic done on a person or household. And if black magic is something we Muslims believe can happen? If so, is a general dua and asking for Allah's help the prescribed remedy or are there specific surahs? Jazakallah khair

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

The most important hadith we have on magic is the following:

Narrated Aisha:
that Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) was affected by magic, so much that he used to think that he had done something which in fact, he did not do, and he invoked his Lord (for a remedy). Then (one day) he said, "O Aisha!) Do you know that Allah has advised me as to the problem I consulted Him about?" Aisha said, "O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)! What's that?" He said, "Two men came to me and one of them sat at my head and the other at my feet, and one of them asked his companion, 'What is wrong with this man?' The latter replied, 'He is under the effect of magic.' The former asked, 'Who has worked magic on him?' The latter replied, 'Labid bin Al-A'sam.' The former asked, 'With what did he work the magic?' The latter replied, 'With a comb and the hair, which are stuck to the comb, and the skin of pollen of a date-palm tree.' The former asked, 'Where is that?' The latter replied, 'It is in Dharwan.' Dharwan was a well in the dwelling place of the (tribe of) Bani Zuraiq. Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) went to that well and returned to Aisha, saying, 'By Allah, the water (of the well) was as red as the infusion of Hinna, (1) and the date-palm trees look like the heads of devils.' Aisha added, Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) came to me and informed me about the well. I asked the Prophet, 'O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ), why didn't you take out the skin of pollen?' He said, 'As for me, Allah has cured me and I hated to draw the attention of the people to such evil (which they might learn and harm others with).' " Narrated Hisham's father: Aisha said, "Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) was bewitched, so he invoked Allah repeatedly requesting Him to cure him from that magic)." Hisham then narrated the above narration. (See Hadith No. 658, Vol. 7)

Sahih al-Bukhari 6391

I conducted a study of all existing versions of this hadith. Below is a diagram of the result:

The result is that this hadith has a 28.3% chance of authenticity which makes it fall between ḥasan and ṣaḥīḥ (ṣaḥīḥ starts at 30%) according to my methodology (which I discuss here). So this hadith has a high chance of being true and authentic, although it is far below 85% which is necessary to establish a hadith beyond doubt (making it mutawātir or widely-transmitted).

So my personal opinion is that this hadith is not strong enough to worry about (too much). But it is strong enough to convince us not to completely discard the possibility that magic may befall a person in this way.

The Quran also alludes to the possibility of being harmed by magic in chapter 113:

1. Say, “I take refuge with the Lord of Daybreak.

2. From the evil of what He created.

3. And from the evil of the darkness as it gathers.

4. And from the evil of those who practice sorcery (literally "those who blow on knots.")

5. And from the evil of an envious one when he envies."

As for signs that show that someone has been harmed by magic–I have not been able to find any hadiths that mention it. Muslims should always seek medical help for their illnesses since we never be sure that an illness has a mystical or natural basis, and since we have no guidance on how to distinguish between the two, and since we do not have many hadiths or Quranic verses about it, which tells us that magic is not something we should worry about as an everyday thing.

As for protection, the best thing would be to recite the Quran daily and strive to be a good Muslim in order to enjoy God’s protection from all harms.

Are we responsible for bad things that befall our families?

Assalamu Aleykom Wa Rahmatullah Wa Barakatuhu, is it legitimate to think that one's actions can bring affliction to one's family? am i crazy to think that me misbehaving or sinning or straying away from Allah can have a direct impact on my family? the reason why every wrong thing happening to them, in their own personal life is solely my fault? that it couldn't be their own actions that lead them to be so miserable? is it a little bit of both? should i only pray for their wellbeing?

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

It is possible that our sins can negatively affect our families, just as our good deeds can positively affect them. The Quran says:

And as for the wall, it belonged to two orphaned boys in the city. Beneath it was a treasure that belonged to them. Their father was a righteous man. Your Lord wanted them to reach their maturity, and then extract their treasure—as a mercy from your Lord. (The Quran, verse 18:82)

The above verse implies that one of the reasons why God took care of the treasure of the orphans was that their father was a righteous man. God decided to do something good for them because of their father’s virtue.

The Quran also says:

Would anyone of you like to have a garden of palms and vines, under which rivers flow—with all kinds of fruit in it for him, and old age has stricken him, and he has weak children—then a tornado with fire batters it, and it burns down? Thus God makes clear the signs for you, so that you may reflect. (The Quran, verse 2:266)

In this example, the parent’s sinfulness causes suffering to their children.

So our fates are connected. Our families can be sources of both tests and blessings for us, and our sinfulness and righteousness determines how we are tested.

But it is incorrect to think that the bad things that happen to your family are solely your fault. Think of your family’s fate as a shared pool of water. The good things you do improve it and the bad things you do pollute it. But if another family member has a great share of their own virtue then they will enjoy God’s protection and may not be harmed. God does not unjustly punish someone for another’s sins. But if your child was going to have an accident, then whether God protects them and prevents the accident or not may partly depend on whether you deserve the protection or not. The child is innocent of your sins and if they suffer God can always make it up for them in the future with other blessings. But the suffering caused to you because of what befalls your family members may or may not be repaid by God to you depending on whether you deserve such repayment or not. The child may enjoy great blessings because of their suffering while the blessings may be prevented in one way or another from reaching you and benefiting you.

So when something bad befalls a family member, it is always good to think of your own sins and use that as an encouragement to be better. But do not go to extremes in that. There are all kinds of reasons why bad things befall someone, and we can never be sure if we have a share of the fault for its happening. But you can be certain that your goodness and virtue will positively impact your family. The family of Mary (mother of Jesus) was a good family, so when her mother prayed for her child to be blessed and protected, God accepted the prayer:

And when she delivered her, she said, “My Lord, I have delivered a female,” and God was well aware of what she has delivered, “and the male is not like the female, and I have named her Mary, and have commended her and her descendants to Your protection, from Satan the outcast.”

Her Lord accepted her with a gracious reception, and brought her a beautiful upbringing, and entrusted her to the care of Zechariah. Whenever Zechariah entered upon her in the sanctuary, he found her with provision. He said, “O Mary, where did you get this from?” She said, “It is from God; God provides to whom He wills without reckoning.” (The Quran, verses 3:36-37)

Does Izzah mean slave girl?

I have seen in many sites that izzah means might and power.but in some sites and name apps they provided that izzah means slave girl ..with a note (daughter of Umar Bin mumal was named jariya..before he had become Muslim she was the slave of Umar(ra) and he used to trash her very harshly that she might revoke Islam ..but she ddnt and finally he himself become a Muslim ..) does izzah really mean slave girl??how that note related to this name ? I have heated that in Islam izzah is one of the familiar word with the meaning honour.. Pls rply … We want to choose the name if it doesn’t mean slave girl ..or can us choose the name ?

I have looked at the Arabic dictionaries and as far as I can find there is no relationship at all between the word izzah and slavery. It looks like those sites copied that information from the SearchTruth website which in the past showed the meaning of Izzah as “slave girl” (apparently by mistake). Most baby name websites copy their information from SearchTruth. But currently SearchTruth appears to have corrected this error, so now it shows only “Power, Might” as the meaning of Izzah:

So I wouldn’t worry about those sites. The name Izzah is clearly “power” and “might” and this is what all of the respected Arabic dictionaries show.

Islam and a husband’s rape of his wife

Asalam Walikum, why is it not considered rape if your spouse raped you? People have told me Islam does not consider that [rape]

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

There is no clear statement in the Quran or hadith on this question, so scholars have simply used their own personal and cultural opinions about it. Since they think a husband has a right to sexual intimacy with his wife, they do not think that the idea of rape applies in marriage.

But there is nothing to force us to accept their views. Personally I think forcing sexual intercourse on a woman is a disgusting and vile thing even if she is one’s wife. So my opinion is that sexual intimacy should only happen with the woman’s agreement and if she does not agree to it, then she should be left alone. If she always refuses sexual intimacy then the husband can seek divorce.

Birth control in Islam

People always said birth control is only allowed if the husband permits it, not in general (before marriage) and that Islam highly dislikes it. Is this true?

There is no need to make a big deal of a husband’s permission in such a matter. Whether you are a Muslim or non-Muslim wife, of course going on birth control should be a decision made after consultation with the husband and his agreement. If you do not consider your husband worth consulting in this matter, then there is a problem with your marriage.

As for Islam having a negative view of birth control, that is not true. As I discuss in this new blog post, the hadith in which the Prophet seems to express a negative view of birth control is not very firmly established. And even if we take it seriously, he mere says that there is no harm in not using birth control. He does not say that birth control is harmful.