Carolyn Astfalk's Blog, page 51

Take Up Your Cross, Whether Leap Day or Monday

I hadn’t planned on writing about crosses today. Sometime around the Exaltation of the Cross (September 14), I’d snapped a picture of the old hymn “Take Up Your Cross” (below) with the idea that I’d return to it. Maybe meditate on crosses and the words of the hymn. (Or spend ten uninterrupted seconds considering, which is what passes for meditation in my life these days.)

Today I was going to share an advance review of The Young Messiah. But my screening link didn’t work last night. Then Monday happened. Someone had to scramble for a hat for Dr. Seuss Week at school. One kid missed the bus.  I discovered our kids’ puzzle pieces were dumped together in the bottom of a cardboard box. Again. I had nothing to write for #MondayBlogs. And my husband and I argued about the state of our house, yet again.

To be truthful, while I’d like to chalk it all up to Monday, there’s nothing unique about the day, even if it is Leap Day. It’s every day. And really, it’s not so bad. We’re in good health. Our finances are okay. We’re blessed in innumerable ways, so many there’s no room for complaint or deprivation of any sort.

Yet those crosses. The little niggling ones. The big ones that weren’t anticipated. The ones that steal hope. The whispers that come with them saying, “Things will never change. It will never be better. This insufferable cross will be lashed to your back until  you take your final breath.”

The temptation is to throw back a dose of positive thinking. Work harder, work smarter, be better, do better, pray more, et cetera, and kick that cross to the curb. The discipline and positivity are good as far as they go, but to think the crosses will ever disappear is delusion at best.

Then he said to all, “If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.”
-Luke 9:23

The word “daily” is unique to Luke’s Gospel. Where a near identical verse appears concerning the conditions of discipleship in Matthew’s Gospel, it could be taken as referencing Jesus’s imminent persecution. Luke reminds us that suffering for us is not once and done. It’s the normal course of life.

We have crucifixes hanging in multiple rooms in our home, and yet I forget.

When crosses become burdensome, I also need to be reminded of this quote from St. Rose of Lima:

How do we climb ladders? One rung at a time, moving hand then foot, then hand and foot again.

Jesus fell three times under the weight of his cross, yet I’m confounded and disappointed when I fall. He gets up, and so must I. Again. And again.

Because what follows? At the end of the wooden ladder, beyond the foot of the wooden cross?

Resurrection.
“Take up your cross and follow Christ, 
Nor think till death to lay it down;
For only they who bear the cross
May hope to wear the glorious crown.”

 

How do you feel about having to take up your cross daily?

 Thanks for stopping by! Stay a while and look around. Leave a comment. Share with a friend. If you like what you see, please sign up from my author newsletter to keep up-to-date on new releases, extras, and hot deal

Filed under: My Scribbler's Heart Blog

#5Faves: Driving With the Windows Down Songs

Spring is just around the corner, so saith the illustrious Punxsatawney Phil. At this time of year, when 55 degrees feels balmy rather than chilly, I’m eager to roll down the car windows at the first glimpse of forsythia – long before the parking lot snow piles have melted. Granted, rolling down windows held more excitement when there was actually rolling to do and my vehicle was something other than a minivan, even if it was my parents’ Chevy station wagon. These are five songs that, to me, are the perfect accompaniment to the windows-down ride.

Like no place I’ve ever driven – but would love to.

–1–

“Life Is A Highway”

I loved this song before I met the singer/songwriter Tom Cochrane while I was an intern at 102.5 WDVE in Pittsburgh. He was making the rock station rounds, and visited the Morning Show for an acoustic performance of this tune. Yes, the Rascal Flatts cover on the Cars soundtrack is good, too, but, IMHO not as good as the original. This song also has the distinction of being the final song in the Rightfully Ours playlist, the track playing in the car in the final scene. (Teaser. You’re just going to have to wait for it. )

–2–

“Take A Back Road”

My dad was not a fan of country so much as the singing cowboys Roy Rogers and Gene Autry. Even so, this Rodney Atkins song reminds me of lazy Sunday afternoons when Dad would take us out to eat and for a ride around Pittsburgh and its environs by way of former trolley routes and back roads. Nine times out of ten, I, too, will choose the back road over the highway.

–3–

“Born To Run”

I’m not as big of a fan of Bruce Springsteen as I once was buying rare picture discs and paging through issues of Backstreets, but this song and its angst just don’t get old for me. Nothing much beats belting the chorus out.

–4–

“Take the Money and Run”

Once you’ve heard this song a dozen or so times and can sing every word, you simply must. It paints a picture worthy of a music video before the advent of MTV. This one also takes me back to my childhood and the music my older brothers listened to. That and the several times I saw the Steve Miller Band in concert.

–5–

“Lonely Boy”

This Black Keys song has the distinction of being the only non-Imagine Dragons song I can get all of my children – from the toddler to the pre-teen – to sing along to. Nothing about driving or riding per se, but I’ve got this song all wrapped up in the main character of Stay With Me and that Harley Davidson he rides. (I’m fairly certain this is evidence of some latent thing for men on motorcycles.) I’m also addicted to the guitar riff in this song that I first thought was similar to one in T. Rex’s “Bang A Gong (Get It On)” (later covered by The Power Station).  According to Wikipedia, however, it was inspired by Johnny Burnette’s cover of “Train Kept A-Rollin’.” Take a listen; you’ll hear it. (Incidentally, this version of the oft-covered song bears almost no resemblance to the Aerosmith version I was familiar with.)

 ###

For more Five Favorites, visit The Big White Farmhouse.

What song makes you want to crank up the car stereo and roll the windows down?

Thanks for stopping by! Stay a while and look around. Leave a comment. Share with a friend. If you like what you see, please sign up from my author newsletter to keep up-to-date on new releases, extras, and hot deals!

 

 

Filed under: My Scribbler's Heart Blog

Reading Link-Up: An Open Book

On Wednesday, March 2, I’ll be reviving a reading linkup, and I’d love for you to join me!

#OpenBook will be a monthly link-up each first Wednesday of the month.

My post for linking will go up at 5:30 a.m. and remain open until midnight the following Tuesday. So, say life happens and your kids get sick, crunch time hits at work, or a deadline prevents you from finishing your post until Friday – no problem. Link when you can.
Post every month, every other month, or whenever you feel like. No commitment or regularity is required, although I’d love it if you’d join us each month.
The dates for the remainder of 2016 are: March 2, April 6, May 4, June 1, July 6, August 3, September 7, October 5, November 2, and December 7.
Content is flexible. Simply write about what you’re reading. You can make it personal or, as I plan to do, extend it to the whole family. Your post can be as simple as a few lines about the book or as in-depth as a 700-word review. That’s entirely up to you. You can even forego writing all together and record a video or simply post cover photos. Here’s what my first post (under another title) looked like.
You are welcome and encouraged to copy and use the custom graphic above, but it’s not mandatory.
Don’t have a blog? Share what you’re reading in the comments.
Invite your friends and fellow bloggers.

The rules are simple:

Include a link back to this blog somewhere in your post.(http://carolynastfalk.com/category/my-scribblers-heart-blog/)  Better yet, link to the week’s post. You can use the button image below, if you’d like.
Link up your post.
Use the hashtag #OpenBook on social media.
Try to visit some of the other bloggers’ sites and see what they are reading. Let’s build a community and expand our reading horizons.

If like I do, you have a tendency to forget, sign up to receive a reminder email one week in advance of each 1st Wednesday of the month.

Any questions? Comment in this post or email me at castfalk at verizon dot net.

** This blog post was updated to reflect a change in the link-up name. **

 THANKS FOR STOPPING BY! STAY A WHILE AND LOOK AROUND. LEAVE A COMMENT. SHARE WITH A FRIEND. IF YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SEE, PLEASE SIGN UP FROM MY AUTHOR NEWSLETTER TO KEEP UP-TO-DATE ON NEW RELEASES, EXTRAS, AND HOT DEALS!

Filed under: My Scribbler's Heart Blog

Link-up with What We’re Reading Wednesday (#WWRW)

 

On Wednesday, March 2, I’ll be reviving the What We’re Reading Wednesday (#WWRW) linkup, and I’d love for you to join me!

#WWRW will be a monthly link-up each first Wednesday of the month.

My post for linking will go up at 5:30 a.m. and remain open until midnight the following Tuesday. So, say life happens and your kids get sick, crunch time hits at work, or a deadline prevents you from finishing your post until Friday – no problem. Link when you can.
Post every month, every other month, or whenever you feel like. No commitment or regularity is required, although I’d love it if you’d join us each month.
The dates for the remainder of 2016 are: March 2, April 6, May 4, June 1, July 6, August 3, September 7, October 5, November 2, and December 7.
Content is flexible. Simply write about what you’re reading. You can make it personal or, as I plan to do, extend it to the whole family. Your post can be as simple as a few lines about the book or as in-depth as a 700-word review. That’s entirely up to you. You can even forego writing all together and record a video or simply post cover photos. Here’s what my first post looked like.
You are welcome and encouraged to copy and use the custom graphic above, but it’s not mandatory.
Don’t have a blog? Share what you’re reading in the comments.
Invite your friends and fellow bloggers.

The rules are simple:

Include a link back to this blog somewhere in your post.(http://carolynastfalk.com/category/my-scribblers-heart-blog/)  Better yet, link to the week’s post. You can use the button image below, if you’d like.
Link up your post.
Use the hashtag #WWRW on social media.
Try to visit some of the other bloggers’ sites and see what they are reading. Let’s build a community and expand our reading horizons.

If like I do, you have a tendency to forget, sign up to receive a reminder email one week in advance of each 1st Wednesday of the month.

Any questions? Comment in this post or email me at castfalk at verizon dot net.

Filed under: My Scribbler's Heart Blog

Seven Quick Takes Friday

Social Media Edition

My quick takes on social media – the good, the bad, and the unexplained. You can find and follow me on any of the platforms below.

Wrong Hands

–1–
Facebook

Facebook was my first foray into social media circa 2008. I joined it solely for my own pleasure without an inkling of what a social media platform was or why one would want one. It remains my favorite social medium. Without character limits and the flexibility of text, photo, video, and sharing, I connect more and better with people on Facebook than anywhere else. I could do without the number of memes and cat photos clogging my newsfeed – and the fact that it constantly reverts to “top stories,” but it’s still my go-to application.

 –2–
Twitter

I don’t think I’ll ever love Twitter. I tried it once and quit. I didn’t “get” it. Then I tried it again and stuck with it. It’s an interesting way to broadcast to a large, diverse audience but often feels like I’m just tossing thoughts and images into the ether. What I do love? The challenge of working with 144-characters, smart and funny trends (“Make a movie Jamaican”), and checking in after major, live events such as championship games or new episodes of “The Walking Dead.” (If you don’t “get” Twitter and want to, I recommend Katharine Grubb’s Conquering Twitter in 10 Minutes A Day for only 99 cents on Amazon Kindle.)

–3–

Pinterest

I like Pinterest best for recipes and for organizing ideas, blog posts, and photos on a variety of topics. It’s perfect for craft, costume, and organization ideas. I don’t see much traction in getting my own posts pinned, but it’s a great visual medium.

–4–

Instagram

I only recently joined Instagram when I upgraded from a flip phone to an iPhone. Like Pinterest, the image takes precedence here. While sharing is cumbersome, it also limits the number of times I have to see an inspirational quote repeated. I think I’ve just scratched the surface of this one.

Wrong Hands

–5–

LinkedIn

I’ve been on LinkedIn almost as long as Pinterest. I don’t spend much time there, but that may be because I’ve been out of the workforce for so long. Useful in spurts, but not somewhere I can ever see myself hanging out.

–6–

Google+

Someone please tell me the value of Google+. Other than the fact that it’s a Google product and a presence there aids in search engine optimization (SEO), I’m not getting it. I like the clean layout, but while I know lots of people with accounts, I don’t know of anyone particularly active on there. If you love Google+, enlighten me, please.

–7–

YouTube

I’m growing to like YouTube more and more and am eager to master producing better quality videos. Having studied broadcast journalism, I feel like I at least have an inkling about video creation. Now, if only I could get used to watching myself on video . . . And while we’re on the topic of video, I want to give a nod to Periscope. Despite the fact that my first experience there was spotting a title about pooping, I think it’s an interesting format. Perfect for live events or getting an informal, man-on-the street perspective, I’m intrigued by it.

What is your favorite or least favorite social medium? Why?

###

For more Quick Takes, visit This Ain’t the Lyceum.

 Thanks for stopping by! Stay a while and look around. Leave a comment. Share with a friend. If you like what you see, please sign up from my author newsletter to keep up-to-date on new releases, extras, and hot deals!

 

 

Filed under: My Scribbler's Heart Blog

Relevant Fiction Reviews: Conquering Fear and Worry

In my totally unqualified opinion,  worry and anxiety are epidemics in modern culture. Fear, worry, anxiety –  they all separate us from God’s love. “Be not afraid,” the first words of Pope St. John Paul II’s pontificate, appear frequently in the Gospels. (I’ve found references to those words or a variation appearing from 120 times in the Gospels to 365 times throughout the Bible.) And yet, our lack of faith and our pride prevent us from  taking those words to heart. From letting go and letting God.

Within the space of a few days last month, I read two stellar books that address exactly these issues: one a contemporary romance and the other biblical fiction.

My Goodreads reviews of both books (below) give a big picture view of the enjoyment each of these books brought me but skimmed over how they each address pervasive worry by trusting in God and having fortitude – one of the seven Gifts of the Holy Spirit.

Fortitude is the moral virtue that ensures firmness in difficulties and constancy in the pursuit of the good. It strengthens the resolve to resist temptations and to overcome obstacles in the moral life. The virtue of fortitude enables one to conquer fear, even fear of death, and to face trials and persecutions. It disposes one even to renounce and sacrifice his life in defense of a just cause. “The Lord is my strength and my song.” “In the world you have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world. (CCC, 1808)

In A Season to Love, I briefly wondered if Nicole Deese had a window into my experience with anxiety and panic. Willa, whose painful past has left her fear- and anxiety-ridden, self-medicates with a steady dose of Starlight mints. While my intermittent struggles with anxiety are quite different, my remedy was the nearly the same. Tic-Tacs have been my drug of choice (though any mint would do in a pinch, including those red-and-white round mints Willa must buy in bulk).

The book is chock-full of wisdom about finding peace, hope, courage, and joy. I wanted to encapsulate it here with a few beautiful quotes from the narrative, but I can’t. You just need to read the book in its entirety.

In The Tomb by Stephanie Landsem, Martha’s worries aren’t the panic-inducing type, but more the preoccupation  created by responsibility to do and be what is expected of her. As we know from the Gospel account, it’s Martha’s sister Mary whom Jesus says has chosen the better part while Martha scrambles to see to everyone’s needs, worried about this and that. The Tomb explores this worry , even comparing and contrasting it with Pharisaical rule-following.

Worry entraps, preventing a person from encountering God, as demonstrated in both of these beautiful stories. It prevents us from experiencing God’s greatest gift to us – life. It prevents us from loving as we should and becoming who we are meant to be. Our desire to manage and control, to BE God, is another manifestation of our pride.

Worth noting are two other books that address these same issues. I read both Undeniably Yours by Becky Wade and Just Between You & Me by Jenny B. Jones in the fall of 2013. My less-than-stellar memory prevents me from giving a more detailed account without a re-read, but these well-written books also address giving up the worries and anxieties we bitterly cling to and letting God take control. I recommend them both!

A Season to Love by Nicole Deese

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

All the technical (but important) writing craft stuff aside, there’s an intangible character about certain books that make them memorable. A Season to Love’s got it.

This quick, easy read had me propping up my Kindle so I could read while I handled laundry and cooked dinner. At its climax, empathy for Willa left me with a bittersweet ache in my chest. I also found my non-sentimental self doing things I don’t ordinarily do – highlighting passages, rooting for characters, and pushing back tears.

Willa and Patrick’s relationship never feels rushed or forced, developing naturally out of their friendship. The sibling relationship between Willa and Weston is just as authentic and moving.

Nicole Deese shares not only a sweet and tender love story, but beautiful lessons about fear, anxiety, courage, and control that merits reading and re-reading. I can’t wait to revisit Lenox!

(I received an advance copy for my honest review.)

 

The Tomb: A Novel of Martha by Stephanie Landsem

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This beautifully-written, imaginative novel drew me into the biblical story of Mary, Martha, and Lazarus from the first pages. Because the story is so familiar to me, I’d lost the wonder of how sensational – how MIRACULOUS – this story is.

The descriptions and well-drawn characters kept me turning pages into the wee hours of the morning. It contains beautiful depictions of filial love, romantic love, and mercy. (Perfect reading for the Year of Mercy that Pope Francis has declared.)

I’ll be recommending this book to my friends!

(The author is a fellow member of the Catholic Writers Guild.)

THANKS FOR STOPPING BY! STAY A WHILE AND LOOK AROUND. LEAVE A COMMENT. SHARE WITH A FRIEND. IF YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SEE, PLEASE SIGN UP FROM MY AUTHOR NEWSLETTER TO KEEP UP-TO-DATE ON NEW RELEASES, EXTRAS, AND HOT DEALS!

Filed under: My Scribbler's Heart Blog

Small Success Thursday

Why small success? Because that’s the only kind I know! Even the big ones come in small steps. Here’s my paltry offering for the week:

Greeting Cards Organized and  Replenished – I like to send greeting cards for birthdays, anniversaries, and other occasions. Rather than spend my days and nights selecting expensive greeting cards from the rack, I buy them in bulk from Current. This means that aside from unique special occasions, I need only stock up once or twice a year. Last week I went through my box of cards, reorganizing and assessing what I needed to purchase.

Handy plastic box with cards organized.

Taxes – It seems that all the necessary forms have arrived, so I began our taxes using TurboTax Deluxe 2015.  Quick, easy, and almost painless.
Baked a cake – We limited desserts in our household to Sundays, special occasions, and feast days. The result was an over-zealous, sweet-loving child consulting the church calendar daily and announcing every last optional memorial of every saint known to mankind. We’ve adjusted “feast” days down to “solemnities.” But I had to hold up my end of the deal. Instead of relying on a container of ice cream in the refrigerator, I used up some of our last produce (a couple of Butterkin squashes) from Spiral Path Farm and baked a delicious pumpkin sheet cake with cream cheese icing.

This delicious cake doubled as a Super Bowl treat and Mardi Gras dessert.

Made monkey bread – A couple of years ago, I bought then neglected a soft-pretzel making kit. When I bought a couple similar kits for a fundraiser this year, I knew I had to actually make the pretzels. Despite my love of baking, I remain somewhat intimidated by yeast breads. (I’ve overcome similar issues with soup and shrimp, so there’s hope for me yet!) At any rate, I forged ahead and used the kit to make some delicious monkey bread for my hungry hoard. Easy peasy.

This monkey bread barely survived Sunday breakfast.

Delegated son’s laundry – My oldest child roots through his drawers for clothing in a manner that sends shivers down my spine. Since this child is nearly a teen, and he’s the only minor in the house with his own dresser, I decided turning over partial responsibility for his laundry is overdue. I sorted through his dresser and removed everything he’s outgrown so that there is ample space to orderly store his clothing. From this day forward, his clean laundry will lie on his bed for him to put away. Should he choose to root and wrinkle, he may. Principle of subsidiarity in action, folks.

Look at the order! The neatness! How long will it last?

That’s all I’ve got. Celebrate more small successes over at CatholicMom.com.

Have you had any small successes this week?

Thanks for stopping by! Stay a while and look around. Leave a comment. Share with a friend. If you like what you see, please sign up from my author newsletter to keep up-to-date on new releases, extras, and hot deals!

 

Filed under: My Scribbler's Heart Blog

The Importance of Wasting Time

Parents, can you “waste time” with your children? It is one of the most important things that you can do each day.

— Pope Francis (@Pontifex) October 27, 2015

I’m good at wasting time. One might call me an expert. Yet, I need to be reminded, by the Pope no less, to do that with my kids.

When I had only one child, I spent loads of “wasted” time with him. Four and a half years. I pushed Thomas trains around the wooden track. I sang and danced to silly songs in the backyard. I lay in the grass and watched the clouds pass.

Then I had another baby. And another. And another. And my time divided amongst the little people in my life.

I so easily forget how much my children need me (and their dad) to just BE with them. Without an agenda. Without a plan. Without a device or a chore or an activity. With me organizing or ordering. And yet when I spend that kinds of undistracted time with them, it never fails to fill my heart with love and my spirit with joy.

My kids need to connect with me in a way that shows them time spent with them  is worthwhile and enjoyable. 

So many of these little “wasted” connections happen as I’m tucking them into bed, when today’s worries have ebbed and before tomorrow’s have crept in.

The little ones want to be kissed and tickled. The older kids like to hear the little insignificant details of my life from before they were born. Where did I sled ride? What was the worst vacation you and Daddy ever took? They want to chat about dreams and fears and hear their birth stories.

I learn so much about my children in those quiet, tender moments of intimate, if ordinary, conversation. I meet the boy who needs me to draw him out from his worries with tales of what his little siblings got into when he was away. I meet the girl who nearly glows under my praise. I see the widening smile of a chubby-cheeked little girl. I hear the belly laughs of a little boy.

Perhaps more than my kids, I fail to recognize the need to waste time with my husband. Not the lazy kind of time wasted in front of the television when we’re both too tired to go upstairs and shower for bed. The kind that is SO, SO, SO hard to come by when we can talk the way we used to when we could fill the conversation for hours on the telephone talking about everything and nothing. Just experiencing life together.

Our days are numbered. They WILL end. Maybe sooner than we expect. I don’t want to miss another “wasted” moment.

Filed under: My Scribbler's Heart Blog

#5Faves: First Communion Ideas

My oldest daughter will be making her First Holy Communion this year, and we just purchased her lovely dress last weekend! Early in our marriage, before I’d ever been pregnant, I longed to see my children receive their First Communion. It’s such a special day, not only spiritually, of course, but also as a happy family celebration. Here are five items for gift-givers that can make the grace-filled day even more special!

–1–

Journal

My First Holy Communion Keepsake Journal is the most inventive First Communion gift I’ve discovered. If your daughter likes to write, doodle, and dabble in journals, this is the perfect gift! This isn’t primarily a spiritual journal, more a journal to help remember the details of the day. Recall who came to your celebration, design a dress, color the rosary, etc. *

–2–

Bracelet

This pearl and rhinestone bracelet found on Etsy would make a lovely accessory to a young lady’s First Communion dress. You could choose another color, perhaps incorporating a birthstone.

–3–

Wall Plaque

As a person who is all for less stuff lying around, an item that hangs on the wall has great appeal to me. These wall plaques I found on Etsy are both attractive and personal. They would make for a nice keepsake and a visual reminder of First Communion.

–4–

Rosary Box

This First Communion Rosary Box from The Catholic Company would suit a boy or a girl. (It can also be engraved.) And, it certainly beats the rosary storage system we currently employ – tossed in a tangled heap on the buffet. (As an aside, if you’re on Instagram, you can follow The Catholic Company.  Someone there knows how to use social media better than most Catholic goods companies.)

–5–

CD & Coloring Book

I’m a big fan of the Holy Heroes Advent Adventure, but that’s not the only thing Holy Heroes has to offer. Did you know there is a Patroness of First Communicants? There is, and her name is Blessed Imelda.  This CD & coloring book would make a great gift for a child or a classroom.  While I’ve not heard Blessed Imelda’s Glory Story, I’ve listened to The Story of Juan Diego that accompanies it. My children have enjoyed it, and I found it to be well done.

 ###

For more Five Favorites, visit The Big White Farmhouse.

Looking for more on First Communion gifts and celebrations?

Traditions at Catholic Icing
Resources at Catholic Icing (craft ideas, recipes, etc.)
Friendship with Jesus: Pope Benedict XVI Talks to Children on Their First Holy Communion by Amy Wellborn

Have you given or received a treasured First Communion memento or gift?

* I received a complimentary copy of My First Holy Communion Keepsake Journal from the author.

Thanks for stopping by! Stay a while and look around. Leave a comment. Share with a friend. If you like what you see, please sign up from my author newsletter to keep up-to-date on new releases, extras, and hot deals!

 

 

Filed under: My Scribbler's Heart Blog

What She REALLY Wants for Valentine’s Day

Guys, only six weeks out from Christmas, and again you’re called on to find the perfect gift. Are you fresh out of fresh ideas? Wondering what the woman you love really wants?

I asked my female Facebook friends what gift they’d really like from their significant other. I’ve sifted through the responses, and here’s what I’ve discovered:

The love of your life wants a break from her everyday duties and responsibilities.

It may be a little time alone, it may be romantic time with you or even an outing with the whole family, but she wants undistracted time – no planning, no clean-up, and  unless she’s alone, no distracting devices.

A romantic dinner for two or with the entire family is likely to please her, but here’s the key:
YOU plan for it from start for finish.

That means reservations, prep, cooking, babysitting, transportation, clean-up, etc. Even if the meal or the evening is magical, if she’s left with a pile of dirty dishes or a frantic struggle to procure a babysitter, your gift has just lost its luster.

If you want to give her something, consider what she truly enjoys but perhaps will not buy for herself because she considers it too expensive or frivolous. It may be a book, a gift card, or something specific she’s been wanting.

** Oh, and especially if you have young children in the house, don’t underestimate the timeless value of the gift of uninterrupted sleep. **

My Take

The only thing we all have – in limited supply – is time. The best gift is spending that time in a way that is fulfilling and brings joy. It may be time alone, as a couple, or with the kids – but it’s the kind of time where memories are made.

I love chocolate, flowers, wine, jewelry, and pretty things as much as the next gal, but I want a reminder of my husband’s love. Something about which I can say, “Remember when we . . .” or “Remember when you gave me . . . ”

Maybe it’s arranging a surprise date. Babysitting and reservations are made, and the woman just has to shower and show up. Movies are great, but will you have a chance to talk, too? Maybe going someplace that will get you doing and talking would help, so you don’t slide into staring blankly at each other and talking about the kids or car repairs. A park, a museum, a tour?

Arrange for her to have some time alone. Take the kids out for hours and leave her a book (take a peek at her Goodreads or Amazon wish lists) or movie she’s been wanting, a glass of wine and some kind of food she doesn’t have to prepare herself. Or nice bath salts, candlelight, a mug of herbal tea and a custom-made Spotify playlist (or mix tape, if you want to go old-school).

Still stuck for ideas?

(Did you really think I wouldn’t mention my romance novel in a Valentine’s Day post?)

Here are snippets from some of the actual comments:

I like things that pertain to my crafts and hobbies. . . Things like that are better than flowers and chocolate because then I know he pays attention to what I do in my spare time.
 A mommy’s night “off.”
Books! Or better yet, an Amazon gift card.
An evening where I don’t have to do any of the cooking and/or planning. For example, if he cooks, I want him to buy the groceries and do the cleanup. If we were to go out, I’d like him to make the reservation and arrange for childcare.
Sleep! I’m not even asking for a full night! A nap would be most welcome!
A gift card to a bookstore with a cafe in it. It would come with strict instructions that I was to use it for “fancy coffee and pastry” for a break.
An opportunity to cook/bake anything I’d like, for a day, and know that I can leave a gigantic mess for someone else to clean up (and that does not mean me finding “reject” dishes/pots/pans the next day to clean up again).
Chocolate, champagne, a dinner cooked by Mario Batali in Italy.
Sleep. Or a trip to Paris . . . or somewhere tropical.
A fun family activity with my husband AND teenagers in which no one has any type of electronic device in their hand at any time. Dinner out, a hike in the snow, maybe a game at home. All without sneaking a look at the phone.
A day with no electonic device. No TV, no Facebook, no computer, his hand in mine. Take a walk and talk. Like we used to do before iPad or iAnythings.
A planned night out with babysitting also planned. Something I don’t have to think about!
Take-out with candles and wine . . . and spending the night together . . . maybe watching a movie.
I would love a well-planned day. I don’t what to be asked what I want, I just want it done for me. I mean like: I made breakfast, I am taking you to the museum, etc. A nice dinner as a family that doesn’t involve pizza, chicken nuggets, or a bacon cheese burger.
Really just something out of the ordinary.

Filed under: My Scribbler's Heart Blog