Carolyn Astfalk's Blog, page 52

What We’re Reading Wednesday

I had hoped to link-up with others for What We’re Reading Wednesday, only to discover the link-up is no more. If I can find enough interested bloggers, I may decide to host it myself.

So, if you’re a blogger and you think you’d like to link your own reading posts from time to time, please comment below. (Post at will, no hard and fast commitment.) I rotate my blog posts, so this feature/link-up would only run once every four-five weeks, on Wednesdays, obviously.

I would provide the schedule and set up a mail list to send you a reminder a week in advance. I hope you’ll consider joining me!

My husband is listening to The Art of Work: A Proven Path to Discovering What You Were Meant to Do by Jeff Goins. He’s struggled for years to find his niche, and so far, he’s found the book very helpful. He’s also still wading through my novel, Stay With Me. (Ever seen one of those skeleton-on-a-bench memes? That’s me waiting for my husband to read my book. He’s more of an audiobook kind of guy these days, and I’m still working on getting a narrator for Stay With Me.)

I am reading The Painter’s Daughter by Julie Klassen. This is the third of Julie Klassen’s books that I’ve read, and though historical fiction isn’t my most favorite genre, I enjoy her style and voice. It’s got a Charlotte Bronte-esque quality to it. (I’ll also confess I like the marriage-of-convenience premise.) Something about the cover really draws me in, too.

My 12-year-old son is reading It Happened in the White House: Extraordinary Tales from America’s Most Favorite Home by Kathleen Karr.

Before people walked around with H’s on their clothing there was a different kind of Hollister: The Happy Hollisters. My oldest brother had the entire series by Jerry West, and I read each of them. (Think Brady Bunch meets Nancy Drew.) While both he and I recently bought my 7-year-old daughter used copies, I was happy to discover they are being published again! She’s reading The Happy Hollisters on a River Trip and also Judy Moody: Around the World in 8-1/2 Days by Megan McDonald.

My 2-year-old son and 4-year-old daughter have been requesting a lot of Little Blue Truck Leads the Way by Alice Shertle and Jill McElmurry. My son received the Little Blue Truck book for completing the library summer reading program, and he loves it! The illustrations are lively and fun, and I don’t tire of reading it. They also have been enjoying a lot of From Head to Toe by Eric Carle.

What are you reading?

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The Dreaded Virtue of Humility

Prudence, justice, fortitude . . . Who doesn’t want to attain those virtues? Temperance, the fourth of the cardinal virtues, may be less appealing, but still garners respect.

Then there’s the virtue of humility, the tempering virtue of pride.

Does anyone really want to be humble?

Is there any prayer more difficult, more uncomfortable to pray than the Litany of Humility? If there is, I have yet to discover it. (And I’d thank you for not passing on any contenders to the title.) I feel like a big, fat, liar every time I read – and try to pray – the words.

Do I really want humility?

Do I even want to want humility?

In case you’re not familiar with the prayer, take a gander below and see if it doesn’t make you wince.

O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.

From the desire of being esteemed,

Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being loved…

From the desire of being extolled …

From the desire of being honored …

From the desire of being praised …

From the desire of being preferred to others…

From the desire of being consulted …

From the desire of being approved …

From the fear of being humiliated …

From the fear of being despised…

From the fear of suffering rebukes …

From the fear of being calumniated …

From the fear of being forgotten …

From the fear of being ridiculed …

From the fear of being wronged …

From the fear of being suspected …

That others may be loved more than I,

Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be esteemed more than I …

That, in the opinion of the world,

others may increase and I may decrease …

That others may be chosen and I set aside …

That others may be praised and I unnoticed …

That others may be preferred to me in everything…

That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should…

Am I right?

So, what exactly is humility?

The Catechism of the Catholic Church defines humility thusly:

HUMILITY: The virtue by which a Christian acknowledges that God is the author of all good. Humility avoids inordinate ambition or pride, and provides the foundation for turning to God in prayer (2559). Voluntary humility can be described as “poverty of spirit” (2546).

(Think of Matthew 5:3 – Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.)

I confess to having a long-standing case of what I’ll call “sidekick syndrome.” I’ve always felt as if I were second fiddle – to a friend, to my husband, even to the cutie patootie baby tossed over my shoulder. Even now, I sometimes feel as if I’m merely an appendage to my children.

It’s easy to associate pride with a loudmouthed braggart or a puffed-up snob, but what about we quiet, docile types? Maybe our struggle with pride is less obvious, but not necessarily less insidious.

Here’s another take on humility. “It means not regarding ourselves as more important than other people, including those who have achieved less than we have. And it implies judging ourselves not in comparison to others, but in light of our capabilities and the tasks we believe God has set for us on earth.”

Did you catch that? Not in comparison to others.

Comparison is the root of so many of our fumbles, faults, and foibles. Don’t think it’s a universal problem? I searched Google for images using the keywords “don’t compare yourself to others.”

Oh, the memes. The dozens and dozens of memes.

Pride isn’t a vice easily nor quickly conquered. You can stuff yourself full of humble pie and still it rears its ugly head. (Not this Humble Pie, but this one.)

I don’t have a quick fix or solution. I expect I’ll struggle with this one until they lay me in the grave. But I’ll keep praying that prayer. And maybe one day I’ll come close to meaning it.

Do you struggle with humility? Have your tried praying the Litany of Humility?

 

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Seven Quick Takes Friday

The Force Goes Overboard Edition

If you follow me on Instagram, you may have seen my sporadic posts of increasingly bizarre Star Wars promotions. Mostly these are random products with Star Wars packaging and absolutely no tie-in to the movies.

–1–
Apples

This one really got me. No connection here. None. And then I considered that my bananas often have Minion stickers on them. But Minions eat bananas. I’ve never noticed Darth Vader slipping an apple slice through his mask.

There are apparently other fruit tie-ins not carried by my local supermarkets. (language warning)

 –2–
Cotton Swabs

On the right you can glimpse some metal Star Wars tins that hold cotton swabs. The tin is attractive and reusable. The cotton swabs front and center, however, are stored in disposable packaging. There is nothing Star Wars-y about them. I imagine a creature with ears the size of Yoda’s might harbor substantial ear wax, but still . . .

–3–

Coffee Creamer

I can’t even . . .

–4–

Tea Infuser

Okay. This one at least capitalizes on the shape of the Death Star. I suppose this highly-overpriced infuser makes the perfect cup of Tauntaun tea.

–5–

Flameless Pillar Candle

Because everyone needs a color-changing LED Chewbacca candle for their Wookiee shrine, right?

–6–

Shower Head

I failed to take a photo of this at Bed, Bath & Beyond. These items are clearly “beyond.” I trolled the Internet for these images. I have to wonder if it wouldn’t have been better to create a shower head with Boss Nass spraying saliva, but what do I know?

–7–

Small Appliances

More gems I spotted but failed to photograph at Bed, Bath & Beyond.

Skin dry as a Tusken Raider’s? Rehydrate with this 2-litre droid humidifier!

Makes an image of the Blessed Mother on your toast look rather lame, doesn’t it?

I’m just scratching the surface here. The Cinnamon Toast Crunch didn’t make my top seven. And try Googling light saber chopsticks, Star Wars nutcracker, and Yoda tree topper. These items are the tip of a gigantic, Hoth-sized iceberg.

And, just for fun, here’s one I considered buying. Ladies and gentleman, I give to you, the Star Wars ugly Christmas sweater.

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Interview with Author Quenby Olson

Although we live geographically close, I met Quenby Olson through an international Facebook group, 10 Minute Novelists. The more I read her work, the more impressed I am with her writing ability. I’m grateful she took the time to answer some questions for me!

Your published books and short story are so diverse. I get the sense both from your writer’s voice and your stylistic choices such as tense and point of view, that you read very widely. Am I correct, and what genre do you most enjoy reading?

I do read very widely! I remember in school (I was homeschooled) reading everything from Little Women to Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy to the latest John Grisham thriller. I also have a tendency to go through obsessive periods of reading all about a certain point in history, or the entire catalog of a single author. My favorite is probably historical, and that could be romance, non-fiction, mystery, etc. I think it’s the draw of being pulled into another time, not only another place, that I find so attractive and keeps me coming back for more.

The Half Killed take places as Spiritualism is falling out of favor in London society. Dorothea isn’t necessarily a proponent of it, but given her abilities, she’s been pressured into it since her childhood. I found it curious in the book that séances began with Christian prayer. In your research, did you learn anything about Spiritualism that surprised you?

The aspect of prayer that you mentioned was certainly surprising to me. I think we have an idea that all Spiritualists and psychics are wearing beaded shawls and gold bangles and decked out in heavy black eyeliner while they read their crystal balls, but there was a great deal of religious ceremony to it in many cases throughout its heyday in the nineteenth century. Hymns were sometimes sung, the mediums often came from upstanding families and did not lead lives – at least to the outside world – full of scandal or tawdry rumor, and it was also one of the few “professions” in that era that women could pursue without soiling their reputation. It was respectable, which is not something you think of today after decades of psychic hotlines and shops advertising palm and tarot readings with neon signs.

Both your contemporary novel Knotted and The Half-Killed, while very different, evoke the same feeling of classic literature. Using subtle detail and the smallest nuance, the reader is drawn into something much deeper and more expansive that leaves a lingering impression on the reader. What have been your biggest influences, writing-wise?

Dickens was – and is – a huge influence. He showed both the light and the dark of so many situations, so many characters, and in so doing succeeded in embedding those characters and the very feel of his settings (the griminess of London and the pervasiveness of the poverty at that time) in our popular culture well over a century later. I know that some readers don’t care for him because of his meandering, paid-by-the-word style, but I like the view his work gives us into the world at that time, even if that view is an exaggerated one in some cases. Many female authors from the nineteenth century were also a tremendous influence. The Bronte sisters, Mary Shelley, George Eliot, Elizabeth Gaskell, Jane Austen . . . It’s fantastic that we have a window into the world at that time from a feminine perspective, especially a time period when we are told that women didn’t have much of a voice. It was something that truly influenced me while writing The Half Killed, and without even trying, I ended up writing a story with a wide cast of female characters who had their own world sketched out for them, with the male characters taking on the supporting roles.

You are a fellow 10 Minute Novelist, and I know you’re a busy woman. How do you juggle your writing with family and other commitments?

Haha! Very carefully, I would say. Honestly, it’s something I’ve had to learn to do. I began writing more seriously before I was married and before children, so it’s been a tremendous learning curve in striving to carve out time to write (and research, and edit, and market, and so on). Some days, it has to go on the to-do list. “Edit one chapter.” “Write for twenty minutes.” “Look up when ‘serviette’ was used more than the word ‘napkin’.” I’ve also had to switch my writing time from late at night, which was my pre-children routine, to after breakfast, which is probably the only time during the day that my brain is firing on . . . well, not ALL cylinders, but most of them. If I tried to write late at night now, I’d probably just pass out and drool on my laptop.

How do you work around – or through – all the curves life throws at you (family emergencies, loss, new babies, etc.)?

Quenby Olson

As you know, my family suffered several losses over the last year. I lost a baby, my father passed away . . . and now? Now I’m over five months pregnant (with three kids already running around the house). After the miscarriage, I found a great deal of comfort in shutting out the world around me and writing for hours on end. Words poured out of me as fast as my fingers could type them. But when my father died, my mind went a different route. I had no desire to write, to read, to create. I didn’t want to disappear into my head, because it was too much. Staying out in the noise with my husband and my mom and kids was much, much easier. Now, with another baby on the way, there’s a drive pushing me forward to complete as many projects as possible since I know that in a few more months I’ll most likely fall off the face of the earth again, managing only a few hours of sleep and possibly a few meals of questionably nutritious content getting me through each day. I’ve made no concrete plans to write or complete any stories for the second half of this year. If the muse hits at three o’clock in the morning when I’m nursing a newborn and watching a marathon of “Parks and Recreation,” great! And if I accomplish nothing more than showering once or twice a week and making certain my kids are properly fed and watered, that will be great, too!

What project(s) are you working on now?

So many. Almost all of them are historical, except for a very rough outline for the sequel to my first novel, Knotted. I’d like to have about six new works published over the course of the next year and a half, and almost all of those will run along the lines of historical mystery or historical romance. It just seems to be where my head is taking me right now.

Website/Blog: https://quenbyolson.wordpress.com/

Facebook Author Page:  https://www.facebook.com/QuenbyOlson/

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7144884.Quenby_Olson

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/QEisenacher

My reviews of Knotted, First Position, and The Half Killed.

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#5Faves: Winter Weather

Having lived in Pennsylvania my entire life, I’ve gone trick-or-treating in the snow multiple times. I remember winters when the snow was piled higher than my head and winters in which the kids didn’t get to play in the snow once. But I can’t remember a winter in which we hadn’t had more than a few sparse flurries this far into winter. While I’ve enjoyed the warmer temps and lack of snow-related mess, there are aspects of snow that I miss.

**Within one hour of writing this post, it looked like this out my back door:
–1–
Sledding

The house I grew up in is situated in a valley. I had two sledding hills in my yard and another gentle slope that opened into a field right across the street. One steep hill dropped off at the end, allowing sled riders to go airborne before landing in the yard. It delivered an exhilarating rush followed by severe pain to the tailbone.

–2–

Snowmen

I love the sense of pride my kids have after having built a snowman. Even if it does topple over as soon as the sun shines.

–3–

Blanket of White

 I love the peace and quiet that only a snowfall brings. We live on a heavily-travelled road, and a substantial snowfall is the only thing that quells the constant stream of cars and tractor trailers. The pristine beauty of snow-covered trees – well, snow-covered anything – is unmatched.

–4–

Snowballs

Nothing quite beats the satisfaction of pelting someone with snowballs – friend or enemy.

–5–

Shoveling

I admit it. I don’t mind shoveling. Heavy, wet snows or ice-encrusted snow notwithstanding, I find shoveling invigorating. It’s some of the best exercise I get all winter, and there’s a concrete sense of accomplishment when the task if finished.

 

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For more Five Favorites, visit The Big White Farmhouse.

Do you enjoy the snow? Have you seen any yet this winter?

Thanks for stopping by! Stay a while and look around. Leave a comment. Share with a friend. If you like what you see, please sign up from my author newsletter to keep up-to-date on new releases, extras, and hot deals!

 

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How Can You Receive If You Do Not Ask?

I don’t take time to read the Bible as often as I should. Thank God for a four-year-old who provides me with vivid lessons to accompany the verses and stories committed to memory simply from decades of Mass attendance.

My four-year-old daughter has been extremely articulate from a very young age, but that didn’t stop her from devolving into an inarticulate, whiny hot mess recently.

She simply wanted a peacock feather on lying out of her reach on the dining room table. (Don’t ask. I’m not certain where it came from or why it was there. Last I checked, we had no peacock.)

She groped, groaned, and moaned in frustration as she reached for the feather. It was easily within my reach. She simply needed to ask.

Knowing she has been quite capable of making such a simple request for years, I indulged her by reminding her she needed only ask. I even went so far as to state a request she could simply repeat. “Would you hand me that feather, please?”

Stubborn child she is, she refused to ask.

Stubborn parent I am, I refused to hand it to her.

Had she asked, I would have happily given it to her. Instead, she went away sad, no peacock feather in hand.

If you’ve never darkened the door of a church, you are probably still familiar with Matthew 7:7: Ask and you shall receive.

Here is the longer passage from which it is taken, verses 7-11:

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.
For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
Which one of you would hand his son a stone when he asks for a loaf of bread, or a snake when he asks for a fish?
If you then, who are wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good things to those who ask him.”

In my younger days, I would hear that verse and shrug it off. We all know God doesn’t answer every request as we would wish. Otherwise, the world would be populated with skinny, happy, healthy, rich, beautiful people. God is omnipotent, and He answers as he chooses. As I matured, I understood that He answers prayer that are in accord with His will, those that are for our ultimate good.

But then, why ask in the first place? He is not only omnipotent, but omniscient. Must I ask when He knows all of my needs? Long before I know them, if ever I do.

If my children don’t contribute to my holiness by increasing my patience and reducing my selfishness, there is yet another way they’ve greased the skids for my becoming a better person.

Like nothing else, parenthood has allowed me to understand, to a limited degree, the mind of the Father.

I wanted my daughter to ask for that peacock feather. I could see that she desired it, and it would make her happy. There was no harm in it for her, no danger, but as it was not necessary for her to have, I had not extended it to her. She needed only ask, and I would have happily given it to her. Even delighted in the fun she’d have with it, admiring its beauty, feeling its fine feathers slide beneath her fingertips, maybe tickling her chin.

But she did not ask.

She went away sad.

That is why I must ask. God wants me to come to Him, to ask, so that he can give me good things. So that He can delight in the pleasure they give me.

Yes, He knows my needs. No, He will not, like a genie, grant my every wish. But, yes, He wants to hear my desires – even if they are insignificant – because He loves me and wants to give me good things.

I’m not great at asking. I prefer to do things for myself. I don’t like imposing on others. It makes me uncomfortable. It’s a particular challenge when it comes to everything from caring for my family’s needs to promoting my book.

(After hearing of TED Talks for ever and ever, I finally watched one, all about asking. The content is strictly non-religious, but its messages about asking, receiving, and relationship apply here as well.)

“Ask and it will be given to you.”

In order to receive, you will most often have to ask. And that’s not a bad thing.

Do you have difficulty asking? Have children ever given you a fresh perspective on your relationship with God?

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Small Success Thursday

I needed the small successes this week. I look around me and see major, seemingly insurmountable tasks that take more time than I have available. It’s discouraging. These little successes remind me all hope is not lost.

The financial stuff caught up. Ordinarily, I sync Quicken with our online accounts each weekday. With Christmas, I got a bit behind.  Come January, I had dozens of transactions to categorize. A flurry of Amazon and PayPal purchases took hours to sift through, matching the amount with the product so that I could properly account for where our money had gone. And then there were the bills. It took a full morning, but everything is paid up and all accounts are balanced.
Winter accessories organized. The weather stayed warm so long, we had no need to dig for hats and mittens that fit. Finally, the temperature dipped, and it was well past time to see who needed what. Happily, we have enough to cover every child! I emptied the bench in which we store blankets, hats, mittens, gloves, and scarves and sorted everything so that each person should easily be able to locate what is needed.

Everything in its place!

The  Junk Drawer.  We have only one small junk drawer in the house (though one could contend we have a junk house). At any rate, in rooting for tape, glue, or maybe a rubber band, someone dumped an entire container of tooth picks in the drawer. The rubber bands and twist ties were loose, and my husband had asked me to save the bread bag clips. (Something to do with a train layout. I have no idea.) It was a wreck. I cleaned, bagged, and re-organized with sorting assistance from my four-year-old.  (As an aside, in Pittsburgh, we called rubber bands “gum bands,” but when I was little I twisted it into something like “bung gans.”)
Registered the kids. It’s only begun to feel like winter, but spring is not far. I registered kids for Little League baseball, softball, a scouting event, and noted the dates for library storytime registration.
Conquered the calendars. As is my custom, I spent a chunk of time on New Year’s Day marking all the family birthdays and anniversaries on the wall calendar. Then all the other meetings, schedules, appointments, etc. Then making sure the iCalendar and the wall calendar were in sync.

That’s all I’ve got. Celebrate more small successes over at CatholicMom.com.

Have you had any small successes this week?

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I (AM) Wants You!

What makes a recruitment poster like the classic below effective? Personalism?

There’s no doubt that those steely eyes and that pointed figure are aimed at you.

And as easy as it is to dismiss God as a remote, disinterested overlord, His approach, too, is personalist.

He wants you (and me) as you are.

As you’ve been created.

Not an automaton.

Not as His minion.

As His cherished love.

“Before I formed  you in the womb, I knew you.” Jeremiah 1:5

God’s individual call to love is mesmerizing. You can be you and be loved, be the perfection of God’s creation. And all the while be a deer-hunting religious sister. Or a football-playing seminarian. Or a professional athlete with an operatic singing voice. There are as many paths to becoming who you are as there are souls.

In his address to young people at World Youth Day in Rome in 2000, Pope St. John Paul II said, “Do not be afraid to be the Saints of the New Millennium, if you become who you are you will set the whole world on fire.”

It’s precisely this blossoming, this becoming who she is meant to be that makes the character Rebecca so attractive in the final scenes of Stay With Me.

So often we fear that in following Christ or in loving fully, we may lose ourselves, but nothing could be farther from the truth. For that is when we are most fully who we were created to be.

What is the appeal, after all, of romance? Part of the attraction is the desire to be loved by at least one person with an incomparable love. Attraction, desire, longing, followed by a decision to love in which flaws are recognized and yet the lover is still adored despite her imperfections. She is cherished, cared for, and prized above all others exactly as she is.

“Become who you are.” 

Doesn’t that directive, in all its simplicity and complexity, make for a good New Year’s resolution?

Who have you resolved to be in 2016?

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Navigating the Teen Fiction Waters

My oldest son is about to enter the teenage years, and I’ve been giving more thought to what he’s reading. I read Young Adult (YA) books myself from time to time, but they are generally books that would appeal more to young women than to young men.

So, where to start in finding good books for your Catholic (or Christian) teen? Try the Facebook group Books for Catholic Teens.

Author Cynthia Toney started the group when her own search for YA books written by Catholic authors for Catholic teens turned up almost nothing. Without a nearby Catholic bookstore, she searched online, turning up only a handful of authors. Seeing the need for a reliable source of information on such books and authors for Catholics teens, parents, and possibly Catholic educators, the Books for Catholic Teens group was born.

Together with author Amy Cattapan, Cynthia Toney has brought together authors, readers, and parents who are interested in learning about books available for Catholic teens.

The Facebook group formed in October 2015 and has grown to 85 members. Memberships is open to Catholic YA publishing professionals, Catholic youth leaders, and families of Catholic teens.

Here is the official description:

Focused on connecting Catholic YA authors with Catholic parents, educators, and other Catholic professionals in order to share information about YA books appropriate for Catholic teens ages 13 to18 (approximately grades 7 – 12).

The group is a place where you can learn of new books for Catholic teens, sales on such books, and connect with the authors. Each of the YA books I reviewed this month has been featured in the Facebook group.

You can also follow the group on Pinterest and Instagram whether you are a member or not.

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/ajcattapan/books-for-catholic-teens/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/books_for_catholic_teens/

What contemporary books would you recommend for teens?

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Seven Quick Takes Friday

Quirky Christmas Tree Ornament Edition

Our tree is filled with a mishmash of unrelated ornaments from different families, different eras, and different interests. Somehow they’ve all found a home with us.

 

–1–
Chili Pepper Santa Claus

A memento from a trip my husband and I took to San Antonio, Texas in 2001.

 –2–
Santa Squatch

A gift to my husband, interested in all things Bigfoot.

 

–3–

Naked Santa

This wooden, naked Santa baby is the star of Christmas in our house.

–4–

Kennywood Nostalgia: Noah’s Ark

Hand-painted Noah’s Ark ornament of the classic Kennywood ride (currently being restored). By Linda Barnicott (http://lindabarnicott.com)

–5–

Angel Pig

Often mocked but much loved, my angel pig.

–6–

Ballerina

Ballerina ornament given to me by family friends when I was a child.

–7–

The Death Star

It’s shaped like a ball, so it must be an ornament, right? Sounds and lights and all things Dark Side for the Season of Light.

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For more Quick Takes, visit This Ain’t the Lyceum.

 Thanks for stopping by! Stay a while and look around. Leave a comment. Share with a friend. If you like what you see, please sign up from my author newsletter to keep up-to-date on new releases, extras, and hot deals!

 

 

Filed under: My Scribbler's Heart Blog