Rachel Neumeier's Blog, page 38

RIHASI — quick comments

Okay, so, first, many thanks to everyone who has taken time to write a review so fast! Currently, nearly a third of all the ratings for RIHASI are accompanied by reviews, which is an immense proportion. That’s not going to last – as more people read the book, the proportion is going to drop toward the normal tenth or so – but I’m very certain these reviews are helpful in multiple ways, plus of course I am just so happy that readers are so positive about RIHASI. I’m pretty sure I’ve never had a book stick at 5.0 stars this long. I’m aware the rating can’t stay perfect for too much longer, but I now fully expect RIIHASI to settle at something like 4.9 stars, maybe 4.8 stars, and stay right in that range somewhere. I was confident readers would enjoy it, but seeing the proof of that is still thoroughly satisfying, believe me.

Second, I’m really curious about how many readers catch on about Kior’s backstory before the reveal. There are clues, so if you missed those on the first read, I bet you’ll spot them the second time you read the book. I also tried to provide plausible wrong alternatives to confuse the issue, because while I thought it would work for readers who caught it, I didn’t want it to be too easy! Two of the early readers got it; the rest didn’t; that seems to indicate that this element worked pretty well as a mystery. Plus I do think the story works just fine whether a reader catches on or otherwise because this isn’t actually a murder mystery. You’ll just react to certain elements differently depending on whether you’ve guessed or not, probably.

Third, I wonder if anybody has noticed something else? No one has commented about this as far as I know, but MARAG and RIHASI are actually a related pair of stories, even though one is a prequel and the other a sequel. Or, I could say, Sinowa and Rihasi are similar people in really essential ways, even though they’re obviously so dissimilar in more obvious ways:

A) They both belong to the Sun, and

B) They are both implacable.

The former attribute is emphasized in MARAG because Marag herself sees this and notes it in so many words. That’s because Marag is, essentially, a priestess, so she is obviously going to perceive the way the Sun stands above Sinowa. But it’s there in RIHASI even though Kior doesn’t pick it up the same way. There are a fair number of important moments when the Sun really does throw down his light upon Rihasi. The Sun is definitely standing above her in the same way, even though it’s more subtle.

Meanwhile, implacability is emphasized in RIHASI, where Kior notes it in so many words at important moments. But it’s there in MARAG too; it’s just that Marag doesn’t think of it exactly that way. The quality she thinks about is surety, but implacability is in there too. You may not remember, but Goru inNakeyo uses that exact term when he says, near the end, “I do not imagine many men are as implacable as you are, Sinowa inGara.” He’s right about that.

This does make me wonder what Sinowa and Rihasi would think of each other if they met. That’s not a hint. I have no specific plans to have them meet, though who knows, it could happen. I just wonder if they would perceive each other as kindred spirits in this essential way. That would be kind of strange for them both, probably.

I have no specific plans to write another book from the Rihasi/Kior points of view, though obviously if I suddenly thought of a keen story that would work from their points of view, I’d be happy to write that story. This is true for most of the secondary characters, of course. I will say: Rihasi is going to be important, obviously, so we’re dead sure to hear references to her, at the very least. More than that, she’s likely to remain closely associated with Aras and/or Sekaran, so sure, we might meet her again, probably during Tathimi’s stories.

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This is clever

Here’s a Twitter post you might like:

An unusual art.pic.twitter.com/98ilaqxDcq

— Figen (@TheFigen_) June 25, 2024

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Happy 4th of July!

Here’s a 4th of July novel that you might have read; if not you might enjoy it —

Do you recognize this? Ninth Daughter is the first of the historical mystery by Barbara Hambly, writing as “Barbara Hamilton,” that features Abigail Adams as the protagonist and therefore lost of historical figures as secondary characters.

1773: The Massachusetts colony is torn between patriots who want independence from British rule and loyalists who support the King. At the center is the educated and beautiful Abigail Adams-wife of John Adams, a leader of the Sons of Liberty, the secret organization opposing the Crown. And when her husband is accused of murder, she must work to clear his name.

It’s only got a 4.1 star average, which I think is fair because as a mystery … let’s say that I thought the killer was pretty obvious before we got there. However, Hambly’s great strength as a writer is setting. It’s 1773 and You Are There. This is a brilliant story to bring the era to life. I enjoyed it a lot, especially since Hambly’s other great strength as a writer is characterization, and her third great strength is sentence-level craft. I do regret that she only wrote three books in this series. I would have been happy to read more.

***

Since I’ve been posting poetry on Thursday, let me do that today as well. Here is possibly the single most famous poem by Whitman:

I Hear America Singing

Walt Whitman

1819 – 1892

I hear America singing, the varied carols I hear,
Those of mechanics, each one singing his as it should be blithe and strong,
The carpenter singing his as he measures his plank or beam,
The mason singing his as he makes ready for work, or leaves off work,
The boatman singing what belongs to him in his boat, the deckhand singing on the steamboat deck,
The shoemaker singing as he sits on his bench, the hatter singing as he stands,
The wood-cutter’s song, the ploughboy’s on his way in the morning, or at noon intermission or at sundown,
The delicious singing of the mother, or of the young wife at work, or of the girl sewing or washing,
Each singing what belongs to him or her and to none else,
The day what belongs to the day—at night the party of young fellows, robust, friendly,
Singing with open mouths their strong melodious songs.

***

Enjoy the fireworks tonight!

***

Image from Pixabey

And let’s all keep in mind that as a general rule, children, but not dogs, belong at fireworks displays. I have personally snagged the occasional panicked dog during a fireworks display, then returned the dog to whomever turned up fifteen minutes later calling, “Trixie! Trixie!” in a hopeless tone. They were darn lucky I was there, with a leash probably, just in case. A friend of mine, also a dog person, also brings a leash when she attends 4th of July fireworks displays just in case a terrified dog dashes past and can be caught. And yes, she has also caught one now and then. The obvious way to avoid depending on strangers to catch your panicked dog is not to bring your dog to a fireworks display.

However, in case anybody has a puppy right this minute, here is how to desensitize puppies to noise, including fireworks, thunder, and guns:

Seize the opportunity of the first thunderstorm or the chance that your neighbors are setting off fireworks on the third to teach your puppy that noise is fine. Be prepared with a very generous number of exceedingly tasty, nutritious treats, such as those dried chicken treats cut up small. When the noise starts, have a rapid-fire, fun-filled, highly positive training session. Practice rapid sit/down/stand position changes. Teach your dog to jump through a hoop over on and off the couch or over a broomstick. Practice fast heeling with lots of direction changes. Everything fun! No corrections other than saying, “Oh, too bad, try again!” occasionally, but make the session challenging so you both have to concentrate. Use LOTS of treats.

After fifteen minutes, if the noise is ongoing — which is great for this purpose — turn on some nice music, something soothing, possibly Ode to Joy or whatever. Settle down in the bedroom for a nap. I mean you, pretend to take a nap, with your puppy cuddled up near you. Or read a story aloud to your puppy. A soothing, nice story. If the thunder booms, glance up and say, “Wow, that was loud, huh?” and go on with the story. Ten gold stars if you have adult dogs sleeping on the bed with you and the puppy while the storm is raging. There’s nothing better than a bored adult dog to demonstrate to a puppy that thunder is fine. The only thing that comes close is you demonstrating boredom and unconcern yourself.

Storms make you tense yourself? Then cheat: Suck on a peppermint. This, it is said, disguises YOUR tension from the dog and helps the dog believe your performance of a bored, sleepy, unconcerned human. By the way, I have used the peppermint trick to help get a dog through anxiety-induced carsickness and I think it works. I mean peppermint plus a bored attitude, not peppermint alone. I hate peppermint, as it happens, so this was very much a specific adjunct to classical conditioning.

Gun shyness is created by poor handling of the puppy pretty nearly 100% of the time. Don’t shoot guns right over the top of the puppy’s head to see what will happen. I’m trying to avoid vehement language here, so I will just note that this is a great way to create gun shyness even if the puppy is not genetically sensitive to sound. Get someone else to shoot at tin cans or something at a considerable distance and gradually come closer. Take a week to get a puppy used to gunfire and you guarantee the puppy will not be gun shy. I realize that’s not relevant unless you want, for example, to take your Chesapeake Bay Retriever puppy goose hunting. If you do, then for heaven’s sake take a few days or a week to make sure your puppy will enjoy that and will not be worried by gunfire.

Joy is not at all bothered by noise. We had lots of thunderstorms in early summer, so she had plenty of chances to see that the older dogs aren’t worried by thunder. That sure makes my job easier.

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Any price weirdness for RIHASI?

A sharp-eyed and confused reader sent me this screenshot last night:

Nobody else is being asked to pay $699 for an ebook, right? Because while people are welcome to pay that much for one of my ebooks, it seems possibly a little extreme.

KDP says the price is showing correctly in all countries, so if anybody sees anything like the above, please let me know AND let me know what country you’re in and I will check again with KDP.

While on this subject, let me add that I GREATLY APPRECIATE everyone who has left a review so far — and everyone who will leave a review in the near future — and in fact everyone who ever leaves a review. Also, I’m SO happy that this book is indeed “delighting readers.”

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Big Story Problems

Here’s a post at Writers Helping Writers: How to Fix Big Story Problems. This topic is fine, I suppose, in principle.

Here are the big problems the post points to — click through to read the brief comments about each of these —

–Not enough conflict

–Low stakes

–Passive characters

–Low tension

–Emotion is not on the page

–Lack of character growth

–Characters too perfect

–Motivation unclear

–Characters too happy

–Lack of relationship friction

–Plot too predictable

–Reader disengaged … … …

Did anybody pause at that last item? Because it annoys me that the topic of the post suddenly changed from “problems with the story” to “results of problems with the story.” Personally, I find it really annoying when the author of a post changes the subject without noticing. I’m like, Do not produce a list of items and change the subject partway through the list. Re-read your post before you hit publish and make sure the post is coherent. “Coherent” means that the whole post is about one topic OR that you handle the change in topic in some smooth way. The above list is not coherent.

Also, I think that list can be chunked up a good deal, plus I want to add big problems that leap to mind, but that are not on the original list.

–Not enough conflict, lack of relationship friction, low stakes, low tension.

–Characters too passive, too perfect, too happy, too unchanging, too petty, too selfish, too self-absorbed, too mean, too stupid.

–Emotion is not on the page, motivation unclear.

–Plot too predictable, plot driven by character stupidity, plot driven by characters who won’t talk to each other.

—Boring prose, boring characters, boring dialogue.

As you can see, I think the linked post left out two BIG categories of problems: character stupidity and boringness of the writing. I mean, I also included character unpleasantness, but I fully realize that some readers like reading about petty, selfish, self-absorbed, mean characters, for some reason.

In contrast, I don’t think it’s very common for readers to be thrilled by character stupidity. Any reader who notices that the protagonist is dumb as a box of rocks is probably going to be annoyed by that. Having other characters act as though the stupid protagonist is smart will be even more annoying once the reader notices that the protagonist is in fact dumb as a box of rocks. If the protagonist fails to realize something extremely obvious in order to drive the plot, and the reader can plainly see this extremely obvious thing, then that’s a problem. I’m thinking of Anne Bishop’s Invisible Ring here, which is the single book that leaps to my mind most forcefully when extreme character stupidity comes up. I had other problems with this story as well, but if I were creating a top (bottom?) ten list for Extreme Protagonist Stupidity, this book would be on that list, and probably pretty near the top (or bottom, whichever).

Boringness (what is the word for that? Surely there is a word for that? Do I mean ‘insipidity,’ maybe?) of the prose is also a major reason a story can fail, and this is so obvious that I’m not sure why nothing like this made it into the original post. When people say “wooden” or “flat,” then they mean “boring,” probably.

There’s no great solution to this except one. I have seen books with flat, boring dialogue and barely serviceable prose succeed just fine because of the storytelling. That’s probably the only quality that can rescue a book where the prose itself is not just plain, not just serviceable, but actually flat.

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Another reason reviews matter: All-Star Bonuses

All right, so of course RIHASI dropped at Amazon today. As always, I would appreciate it if anyone who has already read it would drop by Amazon and post a quick review.

And why?

Well, all the normal reasons, of course! Plus a brand-new reason.

Reason the first: I’m running a promotion on the series through the 6th and it would be nice if RIHASI had some reviews to reassure anyone hesitant that now would be a great time to buy the whole series.

Reason the second: reviews will matter forever for persuading readers that yes, they should buy this book.

Reason the third: It’s just a nice thing to do.

and now

Reason the fourth: So, do you know what All-Star Bonuses are? I thought I did, but it seems that Amazon has changed how these work.

What used to be true: If a book got A LOT of KU pages read in one month, the author would earn an All-Star Bonus for that book that month. By A LOT, I mean that the trigger seemed to be something around 1,750,000 pages read for that one book in that one month. This was not something any of my books was going to achieve — I mean, not in one month — so I wasn’t paying a lot of attention to this. On the other hand, Amazon tweaks things now and then, so when I found out about this, I started planning to release new books at the beginning of the month whenever possible so that the newly released title would pick up as many pages read as possible in that one month.

And it turns out that was a good decision, because Amazon did tweak how All-Star Bonuses work. Right now, what happens is that if a book gets some number of pages read AND some number of positive early reviews AND possibly there are enough orders right out of the gate AND perhaps the stars align in just the right configuration — then the author may get a bonus with a whole lot fewer pages read in one month.

In April, MARAG picked up just over 151,000 pages read, and that was enough. I got an email that said, “Congratulations! You have earned an All-Star Bonus because your book delights readers.” And while Amazon does not spell out what they mean by “Your book delights readers,” there’s no question in my mind that what they mean has to include “Your book quickly picked up a solid number of really positive reviews.” It’s hard to see how any other metric could be as important when assessing “delight.”

Now, it wasn’t a huge bonus. But it was nice to get, especially unexpectedly like that.

RIHASI is dead sure to get substantially more pages read in July than MARAG did in April because, I mean, it’s 40% longer. Therefore, I would particularly appreciate a good number of early reviews clicking into place in time to trigger that bonus, provided Amazon is still doing the “delight your readers” thing, which I think just started this year, so they probably are.

ALSO

I sincerely hope RIHASI delights you all. I think it will. I can’t wait for you all to read it!

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Update: whew, that was close

So the first thing about today is that it’s July 1 and 62 F and lovely, and am I out in the park with a couple of dogs, enjoying this remarkably beautiful weather? I am not. And why not? Because instead I took my unfortunate boys to the vet early this morning, where they are getting set for dentals.

Ismael and Conner, giving up explaining that I forgot to give them breakfast, go back to sleep in the hope that when they wake up again, breakfast will appear.

Poor guys! I do hate to not give them breakfast. I’m sure that watching all the girls get their breakfast on time did not help. I do need to schedule Morgan and Naamah for dentals as well, come to think of it.

However! This week just past was pretty decent.

A) So of course I have been plugging away with Silver Circle, and I finally went ahead and imposed a daily minimum wordcount. I don’t care so much about meeting it — just the expectation of declaring that I’m going to take a stab at hitting 2000 words per day minimum is helping, I have pages of notes right there in the file and therefore whenever I complete something, I delete a paragraph or two of notes, so sometimes two or three thousand words forward also means a thousand words backward, and frankly I just ignore that and count whatever forward progress without regard to how many words are actually on the screen at the end of the day.

So on Saturday I finally finished all of chapter 42 except the last couple of paragraphs because I thought great, I can start here on Sunday and do those paragraphs and that will get me started. But before I open this file back up, I will —

B) Finish the next installment of “Midwinter,” which I very much want to have ready for a newsletter on July 3rd.

Luckily — I said to myself on Saturday evening — luckily I only have about a paragraph or two to go for this installment, so what I will do Sunday is finish chapter two of “Midwinter” and then I will finish chapter 42 of Silver Circle and then I will get a decent start on chapter 43 and that will let me move ahead smoothly on Monday.

And this all made perfect sense until this installment of “Midwinter” actually went on for another 3000 words or whatever and took most of Sunday. Perhaps I should mention that I’m taking a leisurely pace with this story, so just expect that, okay? I think there will be at least four more chapters, possibly more. Maybe about 90 pages or thereabouts — just call it 30,000 words or so. That’s a wild guess, not a promise.

But, whew! because I did get chapter 2 of “Midwinter” finished, so I am now ready to set up the newsletter and get that scheduled to go out on the 3rd, exactly as I intended.

Then this morning I did go back and finish the last tiny bit of Chapter 42 in Silver Circle. But, alas, there was no time to look at Chapter 43 because, see above, I had to take the boys to the vet. At least there was time to take them for quick walks.

My best guess is that I should get through Chapter 43 of Silver Circle maybe Wednesday, but, full disclosure, I skipped Chapter 41 and will need to go back and write that. I think I kinda know what happens, but I’m more clear on Chapter 43 and will probably do that first. I have never before written anything so piecemeal and out of order as this. Still to do: Chapters 43, 41, 44, 45, 46 — very clear about this one — and I believe the last chapter will be Chapter 47, which I’m also clear abut. Then an epilogue, which I know what I’m doing with that. Should not be too much more than another 30,000 words, I hope. If this were a Tuyo-world book, I’d be finishing up this time next week. As it is, hopefully I’ll be really close to the end by the middle of July.

And that’s where am right now.

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One-line summaries of Shakespeare’s plays

I thought you might enjoy this — What are TL;DR versions of various Shakespeare plays?

Taming of the Shrew: Don’t listen to your wife.

Macbeth: REALLY don’t listen to your wife.

Coriolanus: Don’t listen to your mother, either.

And many more if you click through.

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Poetry Thursday: An Old Astronomer

Here’s one you may enjoy. This poem is by Sarah Williams and was originally published in 1868. It’s another I never happened across before.

The Old Astronomer to his Pupil

Reach me down my Tycho Brahe, I would know him when we meet,
When I share my later science, sitting humbly at his feet;
He may know the law of all things, yet be ignorant of how
We are working to completion, working on from then to now.

Pray remember that I leave you all my theory complete,
Lacking only certain data for your adding, as is meet,
And remember men will scorn it, ’tis original and true,
And the obliquy of newness may fall bitterly on you.

But, my pupil, as my pupil you have learned the worth of scorn,
You have laughed with me at pity, we have joyed to be forlorn,
What for us are all distractions of men’s fellowship and wiles;
What for us the Goddess Pleasure with her meretricious smiles.

You may tell that German College that their honor comes too late,
But they must not waste repentance on the grizzly savant’s fate.
Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light;
I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.

What, my boy, you are not weeping? You should save your eyes for sight;
You will need them, mine observer, yet for many another night.
I leave none but you, my pupil, unto whom my plans are known.
You “have none but me,” you murmur, and I “leave you quite alone”?

Well then, kiss me, — since my mother left her blessing on my brow,
There has been a something wanting in my nature until now;
I can dimly comprehend it, — that I might have been more kind,
Might have cherished you more wisely, as the one I leave behind.

I “have never failed in kindness”? No, we lived too high for strife,
Calmest coldness was the error which has crept into our life;
But your spirit is untainted, I can dedicate you still
To the service of our science: you will further it? you will!

There are certain calculations I should like to make with you,
To be sure that your deductions will be logical and true;
And remember, “Patience, Patience,” is the watchword of a sage,
Not to-day nor yet to-morrow can complete a perfect age.

I have sown, like Tycho Brahe, that a greater man may reap;
But if none should do my reaping, ’twill disturb me in my sleep
So be careful and be faithful, though, like me, you leave no name;
See, my boy, that nothing turn you to the mere pursuit of fame.

I must say Good-bye, my pupil, for I cannot longer speak;
Draw the curtain back for Venus, ere my vision grows too weak:
It is strange the pearly planet should look red as fiery Mars,
God will mercifully guide me on my way amongst the stars.

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Satire Must-Reads

Perhaps you are familiar with “Don’t Make Fun of Renowned Dan Brown,” which is hilarious, so if you’re not, you must click through at once.

The critics said his writing was clumsy, ungrammatical, repetitive and repetitive. They said it was full of unnecessary tautology. They said his prose was swamped in a sea of mixed metaphors. For some reason they found something funny in sentences such as “His eyes went white, like a shark about to attack.” They even say my books are packed with banal and superfluous description, thought the 5ft 9in man. He particularly hated it when they said his imagery was nonsensical. It made his insect eyes flash like a rocket.

I have never read The Da Vinci Code, and I never will because life is short, there are lots of other books I would much rather read, and satiric posts like this make it clear that I would never be able to wade through it, even to chortle over nonsensical imagery.

Well, last night I tripped over a similar bit of satire: “How Dave Weber Orders a Pizza.” This is completely different, equally funny, and well worth your time.

I have indeed read a fair number of books by Weber, and honestly, this satiric post isn’t wrong, though it’s exaggerating, of course. Here, have a small taste of the post:

“What’s the nearest cross street?” Jason continued. In truth, his software would be able to tell him exactly where 12715 Harboraz Street was, and even the exact course that Alonzo could follow in his delivery vehicle to get him there in the least possible time. Modern delivery vehicles were the pinnacle of safety and comfort, but their basic design had changed little from the Model T that had seen service a century ago. An engine produced power by combusting air with gasoline vapor inside a cylinder, which drove a piston attached to a crankshaft. This spinning shaft provided torque that could be routed to the vehicle’s wheels through a series of shafts and gears. The wheels themselves mounted inflated rubber rings that pushed against the road surface and impelled the vehicle forward – or provided braking force if the driver chose to slow down. The contact between the wheels and the road, however, intimately depended on the planet’s gravity, and as such each vehicle was restricted to operating entirely on the surface of the planet. This meant that special roadways had had to be built throughout every city, roadways big enough and smooth enough to allow vehicles to pass. The route any driver took to his destination consisted of a series of turns, as these streets often intersected one another, creating a situation where vehicles following along one street had to be careful not to collide with vehicles following a street that crossed theirs. This series of successive turns could easily be figured out by modern map software – a feat that just three decades earlier would have seemed like science fiction – but there was always that tiny, tiny chance that the software would make a mistake, or that the street name in question might have been misspelled, and in that case it was vitally important that the driver have the name of another street nearby that ran perpendicular to the street he was interested in.

“The cross street,” the voice resumed as though a dissertation on the history of urban traffic had not at all intervened, “Is 4th Avenue.”

Jason dutifully wrote this latest piece of information down on a note pad he’d had sitting next to the phone for exactly this purpose. He followed the practice his manager had suggested weeks earlier and wrote in ink, using a hand-held ball-point ink pen made by the Paper Mate company that lay at the end of a tether next to the phone. Ink had had a long and proud history, dating back almost to the dawn of writing itself. He mused about the long, tortuous road leading from the first accountants’ tally marks in ancient Mesopotamia to the sophisticated symbolic system of writing modern Americans now enjoyed, but pushed that thought aside to maintain the proper professional air of aloof concentration that Customer Relations required.

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