Rachel Neumeier's Blog, page 147

Generation ships where things more or less work out okay

A post by James Davis Nicholl at tor.com: Five Stories About Generation Ships With Happy(ish) Endings

Nicholl starts his column this way:

We’ve all read about it: after decades of construction, a shiny new generation ship is loaded with a crew of bright-eyed optimists. Once the sun is just another bright star in the sky, mutiny and civil war reduce the crew to ignorant peasants…unless something worse happens. 

Yeah, usually something worse, is my impression. I’m certainly up for generation ships where things work out at least somewhat better. I can think of one possible example, but first let’s see what Nicholl comes up with …

Rite of Passage (1968) by Alexei Panshin

Riding the Torch (1974) by Norman Spinrad

The Dazzle of Day (1998) by Molly Gloss

An Unkindness of Ghosts (2017) by Rivers Solomon

Escaping Exodus (2019) by Nicky Drayden

Wow, I haven’t read ANY of those, even though Nicholl spans fifty-odd years in his selections. Some of these stories sound pretty unpleasant, although I suppose one must grant that the colonists don’t necessary descend to barbarism. The one that strikes me as most inviting is The Dazzle of Day. Here’s the description:

A former space station equipped with vast solar sails, the Dusty Miller takes almost two centuries to reach its extrasolar destination—long enough for any number of horrific social or physical setbacks! Alas, the Dusty Miller’s long voyage was orchestrated by Quakers . . . Everything keeps working. Not only are the Quakers relentlessly reasonable people, their customs allow them to face disagreements directly and resolve them peaceably. These peculiar arrangements suffice to get the ship across the light years and ensure that their response to the forbidding exoplanet that awaits them is a constructive one.

That strikes me as a good deal more appealing than the grim dystopias that appear to exist on the more recent selections above.

In addition to the ones Nicholl selected, how about this:

This is my favorite out of all the Foreigner covers. Bren looks like such a badass diplomat in this image!

Sure, the ship wasn’t meant to be a generation ship, but it wound up that way. Granted, the crew who stayed with the ship wound up in trouble, but they didn’t turn into barbarians or cannibals or whatever — and now that they’re heading down to the atevi world, I expect they’ll be fine. I’d call that at minimum a happy-ish ending.

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Out today —

Just out this moment, TUYO as an audiobook!

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Woe

I just want to mention that my laptop is in the shop, and it may take up to another two weeks to get it back, and this is KILLING ME.

There have been times when I didn’t so much as glance at my laptop for months at a time. No doubt in the future there will be times when I would voluntarily quit working on any project for extended periods. But this is not one of those times.

Oh, what happened was this flow of events:

Close a file.Say “copy this file”Put flash drive in computerSay “paste here”Computer: That file is no longer available. In fact, that file has been deleted from your hard drive. It’s not in the trash, though. It’s completely gone. Have a nice day!

So, I lost a day of work that way. I started to save twice a day. Then the computer zapped the entire folder that file had been in — the file was Tarashana and the folder was the Tuyo folder, with everything to do with Tuyo in it. All this was on multiple flash drives, so I only lost a day of work, but still, this is not an ideal situation, as you can imagine.

My computer-expert brother suggested never closing the file before saving, always doing it with a “save as” with the file open, and that worked. I got through all of Christmas break that way. Just to be sure, I literally did not ever close the Tarashana file for three weeks, though I could always have restored it to the computer from whatever flash drive.

But it’s not like it’s okay for files and folders to vanish, particularly if that is a sign the hard drive is going to melt down shortly. Thus, the computer is in the shop. So I don’t have my computer. So this is driving me insane.

Do you realize I wrote out those back-cover descriptions for the Tenai trilogy BY HAND on PAPER with a PENCIL? Talk about going back to the dark ages.

Okay, now I am off to try to find lines of poetry that might work for book titles by looking at a paper book, with a pencil in my hand to take notes.

Also, my phone just started shutting itself off at random moments.

TECHNOLOGY, UGH.

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Oh, here’s something you might like —

Have you read the Spiritwalker trilogy by Kate Elliott? I loved this trilogy, which had a ton of great worldbuilding details — especially the feathered people — and one of the most hateful villains ever. Lots of good stuff in this trilogy — my review is here.

And, here at The Book Smugglers, Kate Elliott has a short story set in this world.

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Creating emotional connections between characters and readers

A post at Writers Helping Writers: 7 Ways Deep POV Creates Emotional Connections With Readers

Deep POV is a style of fiction writing that aims to remove all the psychic or narrative distance between the reader and the character so the reader feels as if they’re immersed in the story.… Deep POV is one character living out a story with the reader at their side, in their head. The writer will use free indirect speech when writing in deep pov, but the focus of the story is the character’s emotional journey. There’s no place for the writer/narrator voice.

Remove ALL the narrative distance. Not sure that is possible. Remove the writer’s voice. Hmm. Is that different somehow from the writer creating a character with a distinctive voice of their own? How exactly would that be different?

This article presumes that a deep pov is only possible with first-person narration. Yet we’ve all read third-person stories where we felt immersed in the story and “beside the character,” stories in which the character’s emotional journey is central. Haven’t we?

I mean, I have said for years (decades, I guess, by now) that McKinley’s The Blue Sword offers a great example of a simple — one might say deceptively simple — writing style that lends itself to an immersive reading experience. That is, McKinley’s style doesn’t draw attention to the writing and therefore improves the reader’s ability to “fall into” the story. This is a third-person narrative. I don’t really think that first-person is intrinsically more immersive than third.

However, let’s just take a look at the rest of this article …

In deep POV, you share the raw information the character takes in and not the conclusions they reach. 

Everything comes to the reader filtered through the point-of-view character

Internal dialogue is written entirely from the POV character’s perspective, filtered through their own scene goals and emotional journey.

And so on. These aren’t bad points, but I think the author of the article is making one important mistake or maybe I mean one unwarranted assumption.

I think the author of this article is contrasting what they call deep first-person pov with distant third-person pov, but the more appropriate comparison would be with close third-person pov. Like here, from the article: 6. Limit the Reader’s Knowledge to What the Character Knows. That’s fine, but close third-person narratives do that too.

CJC is a great example of an author who uses close third-person narratives to bring the reader into the story and put the reader at the side of the protagonist. Almost all (all?) of her novels are told in close third. Everything in the story IS filtered through the pov character. The reader is limited to knowing what the character knows and is directly aware of the emotional reactions of only the protagonist. Look at the Morgaine novels, the Chanur novels, Rimrunners … okay, I grant, in many of her novels CJC does shift from one character’s pov to another’s, so that is different than sticking with one pov all the way through. But close third-person with one pov looks to me A LOT like deep first-person with one pov.

The article also seems to think that third-person precludes an intense emotional arc, which is plainly not true. Look at The Hands of the Emperor, for example. Or The Goblin Emperor. A zillion others, obviously. Those are a couple third-person novels that spring to mind where the protagonist’s emotional journey is central.

So, well, it looks to me like the basic narrative styles that can be employed are, from most distant to closest:

a) Omniscient

b) Distant third

c) Close third, close first

And while many third-person narratives shift back and forth between closer and more distant over the course of the story, some are close all the way. I think any well-written close first- or third-person narrative is equally likely to draw the reader into the story and set them “at the side of the protagonist,” given that the reader finds the voice of the protagonist appealing. Both styles exclude the author directly telling the reader stuff. Really, they are just very similar in general, but, as always, third is probably easier to write than first, and of course individual readers will often have strong preferences for one or the other.

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Tension in Casablanca

Janet Reid has a post up about query stats for last year, in which she says, “The most consistent flaw in requested mss was pacing and tension. Without tension there’s nothing to hold my interest. If I’m not actively wondering what happens next by page 50, it’s an almost certain pass.”

Then she wrote a post to illustrate what she means by tension and pacing with reference to Casablanca.

Tension rises when French police captain Renault tells Rick that notorious freedom fighter Victor Laszlo will be in the cafe that evening, and that Laszlo is in dire need of exit visas.

(A character must want something for there to be tension; Laszlo wants the visas. Often in editing notes this is noted as “what does the main character want?”)

Each step of the way through the movie, Janet notes, “tension increases because . . . tension abates when . . . tension increases again as possible solutions disappear . . .”

It’s a pretty good post, especially if you’re a fan of the movie.

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Tenai: Back cover description

Many of you pointed to “Last Year’s Leaves are Smoke” as a great line. Yes, that’s my favorite of the lines of poetry I thought of perhaps using as book titles. It’s not out of copyright, however. In a relatively small number of years, yes, but in 2021, no. Too bad! I am not certain whether I should approach the estate to ask permission. It would be simpler to just look only at poems published before 1923. Or just look at Shakespeare. I have a Bartlett’s Quotations sitting around. Maybe it’s time to get that out.

Meanwhile, back cover copy! Here’s what I’ve come up with so far:

Book 1

A gifted psychiatrist, Daniel Dodson is perfectly aware that he’s in a tough place personally following the death of his wife. Then a mysterious new patient offers a welcome professional distraction.

The world of swords and magic that Tenai so vividly remembers obviously can’t be real. The deadly enmity and long war that left such deep emotional scars obviously symbolize something else. But perhaps Daniel can use the signposts of those confabulated memories to help Tenai understand how to move forward into a new life in the real world.

Book 2

Down the rabbit hole, but not to Wonderland.

It never occurred to Daniel that the fantastic life Tenai remembers might be absolutely true. But when he and his daughter are swept up in the plots of Tenai’s enemies and dropped abruptly into a world of dark magic and darker history, Daniel is faced with the need to find a way to help Tenai deal with the all-too-real echoes of her past.

Book 3

Sometimes the past does not let go.

Daniel has come to know far more about Tenai’s enemies than he ever wanted to know — and far more than she does herself. Forced into unwilling cooperation with those enemies, can Daniel find a way to free himself, protect his daughter, and help Tenai overcome the shadows of her past — before it’s too late?

The conclusion of the story begun in [TITLE].

What do you all think? I strongly prefer short back cover descriptions, and I prefer not to give away too much just on the back cover. But I have to say SOMETHING about the third book. Is that too much, too little, the wrong thing to reveal?

I’m concerned that these back cover descriptions may make the story sound too dark. On the other hand, it IS a darker story than, for example, THE FLOATING ISLANDS.

Also, I realize that referring to a male pov character and an important female character on the back cover suggests romance. I can’t quite think of any way to prevent the impression that this story might or probably does include an important romance, so I see no choice but to let some readers avoid the story because they don’t want to read a romance and then disappoint other readers because the story turns out to contain SOME romance, but not the one they may expect from the back cover. Any ideas about that? I don’t suppose there some standard code phrase for “not a romance” that I haven’t ever noticed? I could mention that Daniel is middle-aged; I could even mention that Tenai is over four hundred years old; but neither of those factors says “Also, they do not have a romance.”

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What do you think of lines of poetry for book titles?

So, I’m still struggling with possible titles for the TENAI trilogy.

By “struggling,” I mean, this is just impossible and frustrating. No wonder everybody gives up and uses the character’s name as the title, or names the book “XYZ’s DAUGHTER,” or whatever. I swear, those random title generators are starting to look like a pretty good idea.

For fun, I paused to actually use the random title generator linked above. “I’ve written a book,” I tell the generator. “Give me a title.”

SWORD’S MASK.

Well, close! There’s a sword! Otherwise, nope. Let me try again:

THE WAR TEMPLE

Ha, that is so far off base, it’s funny. Okay, I clicked on the random title generator a dozen times — it’s kind of fun to see what pops up — but obviously this sort of thing is entirely useless.

So, questions:

A) Is it okay to use lines from real poems as the titles of fantasy novels?

B) Is it okay to use Latin words and phrases as the titles of fantasy novels?

Here is what I’m thinking of so far:

Tenai Book 1 — the prelude —

MemoriaeToo Long for Those Who Grieve — that’s from “Time Is” by Henry van DykeLast Year’s Leaves are Smoke — that’s from “Time Does Not Bring Relief” by Edna St Vincint Millay

Tenai Book 2 — the first half of the main story —

In TenebrisThe Memory of Finished Years — that is from “Echoes” by Christina Rosetti

Tenai Book 3 — the second half of the main story —

Lux AeternaHow Dark and Bright — Houseman’s “Easter Hymn”

Probably the above is all hopeless and I should start over. Possibly with random title generators.

****

In struggling with ideas for titles, I stumbled across this poem, which I like and thought I’d share:

Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep by Mary Elizabeth Frye

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.

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Mary Doria Russell’s The Sparrow

From tor.com: Mary Doria Russell’s The Sparrow Might Be Coming to FX

I wouldn’t watch it. Have you read this book? Because some of the situations in this book constitute the second-worst things I have ever encountered in fiction. I really enjoyed The Sparrow, in a way. I admired the book very much, in a way. But, (a) I have never re-read it; and (b) I am far, far less tolerant of terrible things in visual formats than in words. I could handle the awful things in The Sparrow when I read it, but I don’t think I could stand to watch it.

Also, I trust they actually mean both The Sparrow and Children of God. This is not a story where you can stop halfway through the duology. No.

Having said that, there’s no indication at the tor.com post that anyone is actually planning on completing the story. That’s … unspeakably awful. The Sparrow ends in a terrible, terrible place. If you don’t go on with the second half of the story, that’s where you’re left! That’s an awful thing to do to the viewer!

This duology was very interesting to me as a writer because I read a lot of reviews that divided down the middle. Half the reviewers said, “I hated this book; the characters are SO FLAT.” The other half said, “I loved this book; the characters are SO REAL.” I thought that actually both takes on the duology were half-right: the characters are in fact flat, but the story is nevertheless brilliant. The one-dimensional characters allow the author to do a lot with the worldbuilding and plotting that more complicated characters would have interfered with.

Also, the dialogue is absolutely stunning. The least believable thing about the story as a story is that no one is that consistently witty in conversation.

The least believable thing about the story from a scientific perspective is that the evolutionary situation described is so entirely unlikely as to be impossible.

Anyway, interesting choice for visual media. I could think of a hundred books I’d rather see in that format, but, well, it’ll be interesting to see what happens with this.

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Dire wolves weren’t that much like wolves!

Oh, this is super cool! Except now it makes me really want to re-name dire wolves — I mean the common name. Listen to this:

When researchers sequenced the extinct predator’s genome, they found it wasn’t a wolf at all but instead a distinct lineage that split off from the rest of the canines some 5.7 million years ago … Though the bones of the dire wolf are so similar to today’s gray wolves that paleontologists sometimes have trouble telling them apart, the genes told an entirely different story … dire wolf DNA also showed that the species’ lineage is separate from the other living branches of the canine evolutionary tree, including African jackals, coyotes and dogs. To reflect the dire wolf’s now lonely perch on its very own branch of the canine evolutionary tree, researchers propose giving it a new scientific name: Aenocyon dirus.

The image at the link re-imagines “dire wolves” as canids with shorter coats of a reddish color — basically dhole coloration and coat type. While possible — and cool — and a good way of emphasizing that “dire wolves” weren’t wolves — this isn’t likely. One thing we definitely know is that dire wolves were predominantly a cold-climate species. I suspect that it’s more likely the coat was much more wolf-like than dhole-like.

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