Julie A. Fast's Blog, page 58

Accepting New Family and Partner Coaching Clients

Writing books on bipolar disorder has been my career for over ten years. I enjoy writing and plan to do a lot more. (It can be a challenge when the mood swings are paying a visit, that’s for sure.)

Over four years ago, I started coaching partners and family members of people with bipolar disorder as an addition to my writing career.

I never, ever thought I would find work that I enjoy as much as I enjoy coaching. I feel at home with the parents and partners as I have been where they are- and I remain calm during the crises that many of my clients are going through while we are working together. Bipolar disorder is like a puzzle. It’s not always easy to find the right pieces on your own. It helps to have a coach as a guide.

My coaching practice has room for new clients. I take new clients about once a month-and then help them as best I can. It’s a partnership that saves relationships and often lives.

Coaching is not for everyone, but if you are concerned about your relationship with a person with bipolar disorder, it may be a good fit for you. The following link will tell you more. I look forward to talking.

Julie Fast Family and Partner Coaching

Julie

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Published on May 28, 2013 00:55

Bipolar Disorder Medications: Tip from a Reader

Jennifer left the following suggestion on one of my ‘I missed my Lamictal!” posts. It’s such a good one, I put it here!

“What I do so I don’t miss my meds is my pill box has an alarm on it and goes off when I need to take my meds just in case I forget. I’ve never missed a dose in years. Hope this helps in some small way.”

“Reaching out to help one person at a time-Jennifer”

**

Thanks to Jennifer! I am going to do this. I have also thought of setting an alarm on my phone. Please leave your comments if you have any other ideas! I had NO idea these pill boxes even existed!

Julie

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Published on May 27, 2013 00:17

Bipolar Happiness: It is alway possible to have the life you want!

Today is a good day to focus on the many POSITIVE bipolar disorder stories I know:

- My friend Marsha was in and out of the hospital for all of her 20′s. She now has the right treatment plan with a good med and has not been in the hospital for ten years! She is also in a stable relationship.

- After 22 tries, I found medications that ended my depression.

- An ex of mine wasn’t able to work due to office stress. Once he found the right job, he can work full time and loves what he does! (Management didn’t agree with him at all.)

- People with bipolar get sick all of the time- it’s the nature of the illness, but I know many who still live the life they want.

Fishing guide, gardener, teacher, business owner, speaker and writer. (All friends!)

I monitor my friends’ moods closely and learn a lot.

There are those on this site who went back to school after years of being sick, received masters degrees- even though it took many years.

You can raise wonderful children and maintain strong relationships with your children.

Parents take heart! People with bipolar disorder DO get better and can create a life that incorporates their loves, dreams and goals into a management plan that works.

I’m writing a book right now! I just write less on the tough days. I never stop writing. It keeps me alive.

Never give up. Time changes everything.

Julie

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Published on May 26, 2013 00:39

Bipolar Disorder Medications: Lithium

Lithium is the only true mood stabilizer used in bipolar disorder treatment. It’s usually used as an anti- mania drug and works miracles for many people. Unfortunately, lithium comes with a myriad of side effects including a risk of kidney problems.

I know people with bipolar disorder who have been on Lithium for 20 years without any adverse side effects. For this reason, Lithium is usually the first drug of choice when a person has a first manic episode. Lithium is a naturally existing salt, which is why drug companies can’t make any profit from Lithium! It’s one of the cheapest drugs on the market.

If you’re lucky enough to respond well to the drug, it’s a good way to prevent mania.

Caveat: It’s not uncommon for those doing well on lithium to think that all is well because they feel so good and haven’t been manic for years. They decide to go off the lithium and the mania shows up very quickly.

Lithium is also used for bipolar disorder depression. My side effects were beyond terrible when I started lithium for my suicidal depression- excessive and terrible! But I was depression free for the first time in over 15 years. I stuck it out and the side effects are much better.

I wouldn’t take lithium if I didn’t have to- but if a person doesn’t want to take big pharma manufactured drugs, lithium is a good choice.

Julie

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Published on May 22, 2013 00:20

Is it bipolar behavior or is is conscious behavior?

The Bipolar Disorder Denial Dichotomy

This picture really shows what it’s like to deal with a person who has poorly managed bipolar disorder. One day they will talk- the next day they will yell. It’s no fun for the person on the receiving end. I have been there.

You try to help and they yell at you. It’s like tip toeing around a mean animal on some days and then they are fine like a teddy bear on others. It’s part of the illness in many ways- but the person often has a lot of control in these situations and chooses not to make the steps to get better.

Bipolar is tricky.

There is definitely a form where people can’t see they are ill. Research says this is up to 50%. That’s a very high number. These are people who honestly can’t see that their behavior is causing great harm to self and others. Medications can work wonders in these situations.

Then there is the concept of denial: such as being aware of something and yet refusing to see it as a problem.

Denial – My friend Janea says, “There is no such thing as denial, Julie. There is ignoring, lying to yourself and stubbornness, but there is no denial.” I’m not even sure how to wrap my brain around this!

She means that when a person gets hopping mad when you mention their behavior and yet are able to hear what you have to say on other days- they are either sick or they know exactly what you’re talking about and just don’t want to deal with it. It’s much easier to make you the problem.

Also, there are many, many situations where the person is only mad and rude and abusive towards you and then turns around and talks normally with a friend. That’s not denial. That is a choice.

So, if you love someone who is hot and cold, they can often control it much better than you think. It may be time to hold them accountable.

Julie

PS: Never forget that aggressive behaviors that happen only during a mood swing are usually a sign that a person is ill and not that they are in denial.

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Published on May 16, 2013 11:15

You CAN Get Well Enough to Work

After 15 years of daily bipolar disorder management- I’m really seeing the results. I never thought I would get better. I’m going to sound like a broken record on this, but it’s true. You can get better. I can’t give you a time frame, but it can happen.

By better I mean that I can work part time. It’s interesting that I would measure my success on this level,but I do. I have worked for years on my friendships and they are going well. They are always challenging,but I feel I have the skills to deal with what comes up- especially in terms of my jealousy and paranoia when I get depressed. I have a good relationship with my family. I can see a lot of good things in my life. It’s not perfect of course. People leave me – get upset with me- maybe even grown tired of me! But I can handle it. The big change is that I can sit and work.

Being able to work without getting sick has eluded me for many years. It happened because I found medications that work well with my management plan. It took a long time to adjust to the side effects- and my life is not perfect- which I very naively thought it would be! But I’m better.

Believe me, if I’m 49 and am working more efficiently than in many years.

Julie

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Published on May 15, 2013 00:30

PT 2 What are the symptoms of dysphoric mania?

Dysphoric mania checklist: Do any of these sound familiar?

You feel agitated and uncomfortable in the body and mind- this is different than anxiety!
The depression feels active- it’s not catatonic or sedating.
The mind feels jumbled- but energized in a negative way. You may have thoughts such as, “I hate my life. I hate my work. I’ve got to get out of here.”
You’re very easily irritated. This can lead to punching things, yelling and picking fights with those you normally treat with love.
Sleep is completely disturbed due to the mania.

Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder and the Health Cards Treatment System for Bipolar Disorder have a treatment plan for all kinds of mania. I also discuss dysphoric mania in my free Bipolar Disorder 101 coaching call. Info on how to listen to the call is on the menu bar.

Let’s learn about dysphoric mania so that it doesn’t ruin relationships and lives.

Julie

PS: I once had a 6 week dysphoric manic episode that caught me 100% by surprise. My obsessions were buying a Dodge Charger and moving to Barcelona. Thank heavens I had a management plan in place or I would be driving a gas guzzling car in Spain!

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Published on May 13, 2013 00:32

Pt 1 What are the Symptoms of Dysphoric Mania?

What is Dysphoric Mania?

Dysphoric mania, also known as agitated or mixed mania is a bipolar disorder mood swing that is often missed due to confusing symptoms.

Dysphoric mania is the opposite of euphoric mania- it’s still a chemically elevated (in terms of energy) mood- but it has none of the good feelings associated with euphoric mania. Dysphoric mania is very confusing for the person in the mood swing. The anger can be so quick and so real.

I am angry at you for many things! I’m just angry! Leave me alone. Stop bugging me!

I don’t have a problem. Why don’t you look at yourself! You are the one with the problem! It can’t always be me. You’ve been getting on my case about this for years. In fact, just last month on the 21st I remember that you said something about my behavior.

I’ve changed. My eyes are open and what I thought I wanted isn’t good enough. I want out. I couldn’t tell you this before because I didn’t know I was so unhappy.

Why do you always want to change me? Can’t you just see that this is who I am and your snooping into my life is just making me want out more than ever.

The blog below has a dysphoric mania checklist.

Julie

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Published on May 12, 2013 00:05

A letter to the partner of a person with bipolar disorder

Dear Loving Partner,

Here are the qualities I so appreciate in you:

1. Consistency- this helps me stay consistent.

2. Understanding of my need for structure- and an equal understanding of how hard it can be for me to create and stick to structure. (This is a tough one and is often very hard on you I know.)

3. Willing to read books about bipolar disorder- especially Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder and Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder. We can then talk about the illness together.

4. Love, kindness and honesty. You have to tell me how you feel if I upset you- otherwise it stays bottled in and you will want to leave me. And then you feel guilty! ( I know you probably feel this way sometimes and it’s ok.)

5. When I am unreasonable, you say, “This is bipolar disorder talking. We need to focus on managing this illness together. I love you, but I will not have you treat me unkindly.” This is how to avoid The Bipolar Conversation.

6. Stability. Your stability helps my stability.

7. I want you to expect the same standards as above for me so that our relationship will be equal and not one based on caretaking.

Thank you,

Your loving partner

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Published on May 08, 2013 00:13

My Mother and Bipolar Disorder

My Mother Rebecca!

I am the luckiest person in the world when I get sick. My mother is always there for me. I can only imagine what it’s like for her. I don’t ask her about it much as it would make me cry. She does what she has to do. When I’m suicidal, she reminds me to use my Health Cards. When I’m manic, she gets out my cards to remind herself what to do. Actually, she has them memorized now, so she doesn’t have to read them anymore. She helped edit all of my books before I sent them to the publishing companies!

I can remember being so depressed one day I rolled around on the floor sobbing. Imagine being a mother and having to see your child go through that! It breaks my heart- so I just do what I can to be the best daughter possible.

Are you a mother with a child who has bipolar disorder? I take my hat off to you, that’s for sure!

Julie

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Published on May 05, 2013 00:31